Chapter 2

Sakura looked around the dining table that was filled with multiple conversations. Madara, Izuna and Fugaku were in a heated debate over politics, Mikoto and Shisui were talking about wine, and Itachi was riling up Sasuke. The family wasn't what she had expected going into this dinner. His parents, respected psychiatrists, his brother a well respected professor. To see them all ribbing each other and being loud and silly was a surprise. A pleasant surprise.

A weird growling noise cut through the conversation from the left side of the table.

"Sorry….sorry that was me, hunger pangs," Shisui muttered. "OBITO!", he bellowed towards the closed kitchen door. "The tree outside just grew another ring. How long is this next course going to take? "

Obito came to the entrance of the dining room, his eyes squinty and red. "Huh?"

"Dude, dinner is taking FOREVER…what's taking you so long?"

"Has it been long? I swear it hasn't been that long, I just started heating up the plates."

"Fuck the heated plates. The food is done right? Just throw it on a plate. A regular room temperature plate."

"Sacrilege! My food will never see an unheated plate…fine art takes time you know. It cannot be rushed. It's currently in progress." He tapped his apron pocket which made a distinct crinkle.. "Oh by the way - I confiscated your snacks you left in the kitchen.

"Snacks? What snacks?" Shisui asked.

Itachi started laughing. "Oh shit…Shisui"

"You do know that gelatin is not vegan or vegetarian. " He pulled out the paper bag from his apron pocket. He reached in to show a handful of gummies in a rainbow of colours. "You should not be eating these as a vegan, but I do say, these do taste quite good. I especially like the red ones - pomegranate I think."

"How many of those did you eat Obito?," Itachi asked.

"I don't know…four or five? They are pretty small."

"Five! Oh my god!" Shisui exclaimed shaking his head. "I paid good money for those."

Itachi turned to Shisui. "We're probably better off ordering from Uber Eats at this point. Obs is already blazed. If he does manage to finish cooking dinner, he'll probably just eat it all himself."

Madara grabbed the paper bag off of Obito. "Give me those. I'm so hungry." He popped two gummies in his mouth and passed the bag on to his brother, Izuna.

"Ummm..uncle. I don't think you know what those are," Itachi said quietly.

"Pffft….what do you think? That I was born yesterday? I know that this is sweet mary jane - but in candy form. I'm a movie star - I know things."

"A movie star that says Mary Jane," Itachi laughed.

"What was that?" Madara replied.

"Nothing. Nothing," Itachi said quickly.

"Smart answer - maybe the statements that you are a genius are not false Itachi," Madara laughed.

The bag continued down the table, with each member of the family taking a gummy from the ever diminishing bag.

Sasuke put his head down into his upturned hands. "I can't with this family. You guys are not really doing this right now - in front of my girlfriend."

"Somebody give Sasuke two - he's uptight as hell," Mikoto muttered.

The bag reached Sakura, who took a gummy and popped it in her mouth. Sasuke looked over to her with wide eyes. "Really?"

She smiled and shrugged. "When in Rome right? Actually, medical studies have shown it's a good aid in reducing anxiety."

"Somebody give Sasuke the whole bag -" Itachi quipped.

Sasuke sighed and leaned back in his chair. This whole night was going haywire anyways. He glanced at Sakura who was now chatting with his uncles, she did appear to be enjoying herself. He took two gummies and popped it in his mouth. Might as well join in on the craziness.

"I can tell you stories that would curl your hair," Madara bragged to Sakura. "Just ask. The real deal - just name the person and I'll tell you the honest truth."

Sakura smirked to herself. She'd probably regret asking this, but with everyone's behaviour this evening towards them, it just couldn't be helped. She crossed her arms and gave her sweetest smile. "Ok then - Hashirama Senju."

A groan erupted around the table, and everyone began speaking at once. Sasuke put his heads between his hands and before laying his head face down on the table.

"What? People Magazine labeled him the kindest movie star on earth! Nobody has a bad word to say about him. I want to hear why this family has such a big dislike for the Senju's - and him in particular."

Fugaku laughed. "Tell him all about your bestie Mads."

"He is not my bestie," Madara retorted. He leaned back into his chair as to get comfortable. "Let me start off by saying this Sakura - never trust a Senju."

"Fucking Senju!" then table cheered with their glasses clinking them.

"When I first met Hashirama - he was just a weird kid with a bad hair cut. A BOWL haircut. Imagine. He made his whole career off copying me. I went into acting - he went into acting. I grew my hair long to give myself a distinct look, now guess who is now sporting long hair too. Everywhere I turned he was there. Then he started appearing in my movies - as the hero no less. Kids always love the hero - he was getting all the praise. I showed more range, but I was getting type cast as the villain. Producers were saying my face wasn't kind and warm like Hashirama's! Can you even imagine? I'm kind and warm! Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth."

A silence filled the room. Madara sighed and crossed his arms. "You all suck."

Izuna turned to Sakura. "He's not wrong about them Sakura. Watch your back. They may seem nice - but they're all insufferable. Don't get me started on that know it all Tobirama."

Itachi jumped in. "Believe me we won't. Nobody wants to hear you guys moan about the Senju's. I mean there are much better topics of conversation to be had. Such as - well we have Sasuke's dear girlfriend here. It would be a lost opportunity to not speak with her wouldn't it?"

Sasuke lifted his head from the table. The gummies were starting to take effect, but not too much that he didn't realize what his brother was up to.

"Don't start Itachi. I'm warning you."

"You're so suspicious little brother. I mean, I just want to get to know your girlfriend better - wasn't that the point of this whole evening."

"That, and also to eat. OBITO! Goddam…" Shisui bellowed towards the kitchen. "I'm about to chew my arm off here." He shoved his chair back and got up. "I'm going to see how far along he's at. If he's not close, I'm going to lose it." Shisui walked back towards the door to the kitchen.

Itachi turned to Sakura. "Now back to you. I'm curious about a lot of things - in particular - does it bother you that Naruto is completely obsessed with your boyfriend. I mean does it make you feel insecure at all?"

"What?" Sakura sputtered. "What are you talking about? They are friends, nothing more."

"Oh come on. You must have noticed it. I think Naruto would go to the ends of the earth for this one here. He's like - obsessive."

"I mean - he's just loyal and passionate. I mean he used to have a crush on me - so I don't think he's interested in Sasuke."

"Oooh - did you hear that Sasuke? Your bestie had a thing for your girl. Did you know that?"

"It's not like that - Naruto is…well" Sasuke trailed off.

"This is interesting," Mikoto interjected. "So did Naruto transfer his heterosexual feelings for Sakura to homosexual ones for Sasuke?"

"Actually, I think its always just been about Sasuke. Sakura crushing on Sasuke probably made him feel some sort of comradery with her," Itachi responded.

"Ah, like some homoerotic transference. Intriguing! Sasuke have you had any erotic interactions with Naruto?"

"Mom! I can't believe you're asking me this! This is not dinner conversation!"

Itachi gestured around the table. "Do you see anyone eating?"

"Shut up Itachi! You know what I mean."

"Actually, I recall Sasuke you mentioned something about Naruto and you accidentally kissed? You're first kiss?" Fugaku interjected.

"What!" Sakura exclaimed.

"It's not like that - We kind of fell into each other…accidentally, " Sasuke explained. He glared at his father. "Thanks for keeping that in confidence."

"There is a saying - nothing is accidental," Itachi quipped.

Madara got up and walked over to Sasuke and ruffled his hair. "Don't let them get to you. I know what it's like to have a best friend that is obsessed with you."

"Good Lord Madara! Why don't you just tell off Hashirama once and for all. You bitch and complain but still work with him. I bet you don't have the balls to say any of this to his face." Mikoto stated.

"ME? NOT have the balls? Do you realize just who you are talking to? I'm ALL balls!"

Sasuke returned his head to the table. "Oh God…why me. This family is such a curse."

Madara grabbed his cell phone from beside his plate, and started scrolling through his contacts. He pulled up Hashirama's contact and waved the phone at the table. "No balls my ass. I'm calling him now, and you can ALL eat your words."

Mikoto sighed. "Words…well at least that's something to eat."

He held the phone to his ear. "Hashirama! We need to talk." He exited the room into the adjoining library.

The door burst open from the kitchen and Shisui and Obito burst out holding a pot and stirring spoon. "You guys! We've come up with something delicious!"

"Is that dinner?" Fugaku asked.

"Well no - I mean we got a bit diverted, but I think we came up with something amazing!" Shisui exclaimed.

"Good Lord - you mean all this time you were NOT making dinner? Shisui! I thought you were going to hurry this along. Not distract him," Mikoto snapped. She grabbed her cell phone. "That's it, I'm ordering in Chinese food."

Shisui waved his spoon around. "No guys - Obito here, I was wrong, he's inspiring! We came up with a new dish! It's a twist on scrambled eggs. You need to taste this!"

Izuna peered over into the pot. "Why is it all brown?"

"Just taste it!" He shoved a spoon into Izuna's mouth.

Izuna chewed slowly and then closed his eyes when he swallowed. "Man, I don't know what to say to that. The texture is something awful - like regurgitated food. But the taste is….surprising good. Like I feel I should hate it, but there is something weirdly addicting to it." He took another bite.

"Everyone having the munchies might have something to do with that," Sakura whispered to Sasuke.

"Can you guess what's in there?" Obito asked.

Izuna squinted. "Well, I think Peanut butter?"

"Correct. Anything else?"

"It's a bit sweet. Maple syrup?"

"Close! It's manuka honey. There's sweet and savory elements to this dish. Honey, bacon, eggs, peanut butter, bananas, worcestershire sauce. Amazing hey?"

"That honestly sounds so disgusting."

"And it's completely not vegan! Honey, Bacon, Eggs, Worcestershire Sauce!" Obito jeered happily.

Shisui sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Well my food eats vegan food."

"Actually both bees and pigs are omnivores," Itachi stated.

"Oh shut up Itachi."

The family all took turns tasting the brown slop, which was rapidly disappearing from the pot.

"I don't know why this works, but it does."

"So Good."

"Amazing - can you make some more?"

Madara burst back into the room, his head still to the phone. His expression had flipped from when he had stormed out of the room earlier. A warm smile was now on his face as he settled back into his chair. "Of course I remember that creek. I was the rock skipping champion if I recall," he chuckled into the phone. "Well that's how I remember it. Maybe you were better initially."

Sakura leaned in. "I thought they hated each other?"

Fugaku laughed and shook his head. "Those two. It's a love hate relationship. More love than hate it seems. They go way way back. As much as those two argue, I think that if one of them needed the other, they'd both drop everything. They are quite the pair."

Itachi smirked. "Sounds like someone else I know, perhaps you and a young blonde dynamo?"

"I swear to God Itachi, you're the worst."

Itachi tapped his brother on the forehead "You know you love me."

The doorbell rang repeatedly. Sasuke raised his arms in frustration. "You already invited way more people than I asked mom. Who now? More cousins? Some great aunt I don't know about, but is here to embarrass me? Does she have slide shows of me taking a bath as a baby that you have to show Sakura?"

Mikoto chuckled as she went to the door. "Honestly Sasuke. You're so overdramatic." She opened the door and took four large paper bags inside. "Dinner has arrived! Chinese food! Obito will you be joining us - or are you continuing on your egg-venture in the kitchen?"

Obito chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "Well, I do enjoy Chinese cuisine. Do I smell ginger fried pork?" He ripped into the paper bag.

"Oooh give me! I love that!" Shisui exclaimed.

Obito slapped his hand away. "Bad Vegan!"

"I think Shisui's vegan ship has sailed," Mikoto laughed. "Everyone dig in."

The group ripped into the bags, and started distributing the hot steaming food. Dumplings were being stolen off one another's plates and laughter filled the room.

Madara finally put his phone down for a second. "Hey Hashi invited all of us over to his estate for a BBQ next weekend? You guys interested?"

The wine was flowing and the group was merry. Izuna raised his glass "Fucking Senju! We're in!" Sakura you're coming right?"

Sakura grabbed Sasuke's hand and squeezed it and smiled. "I'm in. Another night with this gang plus the Senju's? I wouldn't miss that for the world."

Thanks! I hope you enjoyed the fic, I had a good time writing it. I haven't written anything in a couple years, so it was hard getting back into it! Any reviews/comments are much appreciated!