I sighed, holding my breathe, waiting for the day that Thrawn would leave for the trip and I can leave this place for good. However something held me back, the kids. Would I take them? I mean would it be wrong to leave them, but I don't want to put their lives at risk. My maternal instincts were all fumbled up at the descion that seemed nearly impossible to choose. Thrawn was a great father, I couldn't deny that. As a husband? Not so much but the kids would be fine with him. Plus, they would have Borika to help them as a mother role-model. They wouldn't suffer if I was gone… right? But at the same time, am I even going to stay? I hadn't been back to the Rebellion in over four years, how would they see me? As a traitor? I mean I'm fully associated with the Empire by now, I'm not even the leader at this point, none even remembers me probably, I told them to forget about me afterall. A knock at interrupted my thoughts as I turned to see Ansa. "Mama." She said in a questioning voice while I bent down to her level. "Yes, little one?" I asked as she sat on my bent knee, "Father just left, can we go play now?" She queered as I smiled at her cuteness, her brothers walking into the room. "Yeah, can we play now?" Aaron copied his sister and I sighed "We are going on an adventure that you can't tell Father about, okay?" I asked them as they nodded in agreement. "Okay then, I'll pack our things, give Mama about two hours." I lifted Ansa off my lap and at her insist I carried her as I packed hastily.

I looked at the planet of Kashyyyk, anxiety filling me up as I worried if they would shoot. I carefully landed the ship, I little rusty from not flying in a while. I saw Rue's gear heading out, helmet on and everything and I opened the door hesitantly "Friendly!" I yelled as I knew I blaster would be pointed at my head, using a old clone wars codename for 'don't shoot.' which caught the attention of Rue and Rex, who was behind her for backup. "Only clones would use that…" Rex trailed off as realization hit and he took of his helmet, Rue following. I looked at them with a smile on my face "Hey sis." I said warmly as she ran up and hugged me tightly, and I felt tears run down her face. She looked at me "Your home." She cried even harder as Ash came out and hugged me along with Rue. "I am home, only for a week, but I'm home." I choked and grew tense as the hug lasted longer than I could bare, something that Rex noticed and he came over to my recuse, never thought I would say those words, "Okay hug time is done." he broke the hug up and I stepped back, hugging myself trying to console my shaking body as the trauma from the past three years of my life came into play. "What's wrong?" Rue asked with concern as I chuckled trying to distract myself "Nothing just you know, being married to a pervert." I saw Rue's face going pale as the realization hit her like a bird hitting a window, so clear yet to the naked eye hard to see. "I'm fine, just not a fan of touch anymore." Rex stepped forward to give some comfort, however I flinched out of habit and he took a step back lifting his hands up as if showing a sign pure intentions, "Sorry." He apologized "Your probably still on edge I didn't mean to scare you." Rex explained the reason of his apology and I nodded, feeling bad from putting everyone in a bad mood, something which I did often. Maybe I shouldn't have came, they would have lived much more peaceful lives if I had just stay on Ryloth. Rue's attention was turned to the kids who were fast asleep on the bed. "Aren't those..?" Rue asked and I nodded "Me and Mas-," I quickly fixed myself as I had grown used to calling Thrawn Master, even though it still made me cringe every time, "I mean Thrawn's kids" I said and I saw Rue look over to me "Were you about to call him Master?" She asked as I felt worry grow in the room and simply woke up the kids, ignoring the question. "Mama," Ansa groaned groggily as I smiled "Are we here?" She asked siting up and wrapping her arms around my neck, indicating she wanted to be held which I obliged to picking her up and setting her on my hip as I woke up my two sons. "Guys, this is Auntie Rue and Uncle Rex," I introduced them pointing at the corresponding person as they waved "Rex, Rue, Ash this is Ansa, Aaron, and Apollo." I did the same with the kids as Rue picked up Apollo, much to his dismay as he wasn't used to outward affection, as my family was accustomed too. I chuckled at his face when he was picked, however that laughter quickly turned to fear as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter and lit it, "Look Auntie Rue, fire." He said excitedly as Rue flashed me a alarmed look and all I could do was shrug. "Put that down you imbecile!" Ansa's little but mature voice subdued her brother as she snatched the lighter from his hand "Gosh you could start a fire with this-"Ansa began to pester her brother but he cut her off "Thats the point duhh." Apollo stuck his tongue out at his sister as she gave him a dirty glare, "Mo0o0omm!" Ansa yelled in a whiny voice "Apollo stuck his tongue out at me." just for Apollo to copy "Moooom! Ansa gave me a glare." Aaron looked between the two of them trying to decipher who to side with "Mooooom! Their fighting!" Aaron decided on what to do, state the obvious 'Thanks Captain obvious' I said sarcastically in my head "Guuuuyss!" I yelled back at them with the same tone "I don't care, I give dirty looks to people all the time, it's called attitude, it'll get you killed if you do it to the wrong person so be careful." I said as Rue sighed setting down Apollo and Rex walked over to Ansa "Hi there Ansa what's your favorite color?" He asked trying to get to know his niece as I held my breath not sure what she was going to say, "Why the kriff would I tell you that, you stalker." Rue tried to hold in her laugh as I covered my mouth. "Learned that language from your mother I assume." Rex said his words sharper than knifes. "I mean she is right you did erase my memories and spy on me for quite some years, isn't that a stalker?" I asked not skipping a beat. "Well at least abandon my kids for three years and come back like nothing happened." Rex glared at me and I scoffed "Well at least I didn't betray my sisters trust and be rude to her ever since she found out!" I raised my voice a bit and Rex stood up "Well at least I didn't break my siblings heart when I told them to think of me as dead, because I can tell you that shattered our hearts more than you could have ever imagined, including mine." I felt a tear roll down my cheek "Well at least I didn't wake up in a place I didn't know and say goodbye to my family there cause I knew I was as good as dead, oh wait, I did." I choked on my own words as tears started to stream faster. Rue took the kids quickly and left, clearly not wanting to be in the awkward situation. "You abandoned us." Rex said as for the first time I saw him tearing up. "And you did the same for me, you left me, betrayed my trust when I first found out, and never gave me a basis to build that trust back on." I cried "You left me alone when I needed you the most, you made it clear that Rue was your favoriate, and made it clear you never liked me in the first place." I was the look of pain, of guilt, regret, form on his face as I cried harder "I mean you only saved me and Rue from Maul because Rue was there, would you have gone if it was just me and Rue wasn't aware? Or would you have left me for dead?" I questioned him, "Commander!" He shouted which took me aback. "Get yourself together!" He continued to yell which didn't make me feel any better. "Thats all I am to you! A soldier!" Rex looked hurt, genuinely hurt, "It's because you my sister! If I wasn't hard on you then you wouldn't strive to do better! Rebel if I ever treat you like I treat Rue, then I really don't care about you. You need someone to be hard on you, and Rue needs praise." Rex said angrily and felt attacked, "What if I wanted to be praised too?" I asked a simply question my voice weak "I"M YOUR SISTER TOO." Rex stepped back "Well you certainly don't act like to, you Impeial scum." Those words broke my heart into a million pieces. "Well then," I straightened up wiping my tears "I guess I'm really not welcome here, however if one us is going to be a Imperilal its going be you, you heartless scum." I shoved my way passed him "Clankers." He said and I collapsed immediately at the trigger word screaming in phantom pain. "You might be right, but I have to keep the possible traitor uncontrol, do I not?" He said in a tone I have never heard him use before, walking in front of me and bending down to reach my level, "Because Rebel I can guarantee you that if you think that you can come back here as if nothing happened, after your hurt Rue, that I will never ever view you as my sister, solider." He walked away as I started to cry harder, regretting my decision to come back, it was a mistake. Rue walked in wondering what happening, "What happened? Why is she on the floor? Did y'all make up?" Rex 'helped' me up and smiled "Yes we did," He put his arm around my shoulder, "Everything is fine now." I looked at him confused and then decided to play along, he wasn't doing this to hurt me, but for Rue's stake, and that I would play with. "Yeah." I agreed with a smile and hugged Rex. "Okay, well the kids are in the playroom if you wanna see them?" She asked and I nodded with a smile. We walked to the playroom and I gasped in shock as I saw a familiar faces, along with two I didn't expect to see. "Ally?" I looked over to the corner of the room "Tall guy." I said excitedly as he ran over with his little waddle and picked me up hugging me. "Shortie! Its really you." He said happily as I laughed hugging him back. "Its really-" I cut myself off as I looked up to see a face I was very fond of. "Benji!" I scrambled out of Wrecker's arms and ran over to him and he expected a hug but I had a different idea, a kiss. I looked at him lovingly as he looked shocked my the abrupt encounter "Sorry, I just-" He cut me off with another kiss and I felt a smile creep upon my face as I heard several footsteps quickly leave. We stopped and I chuckled embarrassed, the last time I had butterflies like this was when Sawyer was alive, and now I know that it was fake. "Aren't you married, Princess?" Benji asked cheekily and I smiled "Eh, I really hate him, he desverses it." I stepped back and sat on the little kid chair in the middle of the room, clearly the kids have such a great home decor style. "Well then, would you be willing to marry me even if you are still married to him?" He asked and I thought he was joking however he pulled out a ring "I brought this when I first met you, cause I knew you were the one." I frowned a bit much to his surprise "What? Do you not want to?" He asked worried and and leaned back in the chair, "Can you actually just shut up and propose? Cause if not I'm gonna do it myself." I said and he stood there like a deer in the headlights, not expecting me to agree. I scoffed, stood up and snatched the ring from his hand, "Will you marry me?" I asked and he fainted. "WRECKER WHY DID YOU CORRUPT THIS POOR MAN?!" "WHAT?!" He yelled back and I planted my palm on face. "WHY DID YOU- OH FOR FORCES SAKE JUST COME IN HERE." I yelled getting back into the jist of things "WHY?!" Wrecker yelled and I laughed at the irony of our sibling relationship "IF YOU DON'T COME IN HERE IM GOING TO-" I started with a threat as he stopped me, rushing into the room along with Rue. "What?" He asked as if it was normal to see Benji on the floor. "Ayo hes me!" Wrecker said finally seeing Benji and I rolled my eyes over to Rue after seeing that my brother hadn't changed a bit. "You wanna meet Patrica?" He said out of the blue and I looked back at him with pure confusion "Who in on Kamino is she?" I asked using popular clone slang as Rue gasped and Wrecker smiled even brighter. He waddled away and we followed, leaving Benji, he would wake up eventually. I saw a blue haired girl run up to Wrecker and him "Babe!" My jaw dropped "Who the kriff- BACK UP, REWIND, BACKSTORY, CONTEXT, EXPLAIN, NOW." Rue laughed and the mystery girl stopped hugging him at looked at me "Rebel I presume." She said looking at me with a smile "Yes, and you are Patrica?" I asked connecting the dots and she nodded. "Can I just say I love you hair color?" I asked and she smiled even bright "Omg I know right?! Sabine did it!" "Really?! She knows her hair colors! And you makeup is gorgeous!" I exclaimed and she giggled "Thanks! Actually maybe we could do a little makeover and get to know eachother? Sabine on hair, me on makeup, and Rue on clothes?" She asked and I jumped up and down "I thought you would never ask!" A couple of hours had passed of talking, getting to know one another and catching up, and I felt relaxed for the first time in forever. Just listening to the voices of the people that knew me, that loved and cared for me, gave me more comfort that I had realized. I looked in the mirror at the new me as they liked to call it and chuckled at the fact that I actually looked like myself, the real me, I had cyber grape colored hair with an aburne red hair band and matching heart earrings. Rue had chose a tub top dress with and a mesh top underneath it, which I loved. "Well, what do you think?" Patrica asked excitedly and I turned around to face her "I love it!" I jumped up and down to emphasize my content with the outfit along with the hair. "Yay!" She said clapping rapidly and I chuckled as Ansa ran into the room and lifted her arms so I could pick her up. "What do you think of mama's new hair?" I asked and she gave me a thumbs up before burying her face in my chest, falling asleep. "Awww." Rue cooed and I walked over to the room Rue said was mine, across the hall from my sister's room. I set Ansa down in the bed and wondered where my trouble makers were. I walked over to the kids room that was next to mine to see Apollo and Aaron sleeping in Kai's bed, while Kai was using them as his bed, sleeping on top of them. I saw Armani and Kali sleeping in there beds and I felt a guilt wave over me, is this what it would be like if I hadn't given them up? Would I have had six peaceful kids sleeping in the same room, while me and Benji were in the other room. I shook the thoughts our of my head and walked back, taking Ansa to the room with all the kids so she could be with them. I went back to my room and sat on the bed excited for what I was about to do. I started meditating on the force, becoming balanced, at peace. I'm not sure how long it had been before my door had been opened, however I didn't open my eyes since I knew it was Rue. "Oh, sorry is this a bad time?" She asked awkwardly and I chuckled, "No, its okay, your presence soothes me." I stated in a jedi tone, calm, cool, collected. I felt her plop down on the bed next to me and finally opened my eyes turning to see her, "Feel better?" She asked and I nodded "Much better, its been awhile since I've been able to use the force." She gave me a puzzled look "Why not?" She asked concerned "Master made me take force suppressers everyday, I couldn't even lift a paper." I said recalling what happened on the planet that was like my prison. "What else did he do to you?" She iquired further and I sighed knowing this was going to be a long list if of painful stories.

I look up at my sister as she tried to smile comfortingly, "Thanks for listening." I said and she nodded starting to play with my hair and I started to doze off. After a couple of hours I assume I woke up in my room, however Rue wasn't there. I got up and headed over to her room in search of my sister. I saw her laying in her bed reading a book with the lamp on. I ran over to the bed and landed on her much to her surprise as I took the book out over her hand and started 'reading it' "And they lived happily ever after, the end, pay attention to me now." She chuckled and patted my head, "Okay you have my attention now." She stated and I smiled "You can go back to your room if you want." Rue offered and I sat up offended "There is no way I'm letting you sleep by yourself." I said firmly and she nodded giving a lazy salute, "Sir yes sir." She said in a strict tone as I raised one of my eyebrows "Sir?" I looked down at my chest and looked back up at her as she laughed loudly. "Okay then, Trooper, we should go to sleep so that we can not be exhausted tomorrow." She said turning off the lamp in an instant and we dozed off. A few hours later I stared up at the ceiling, knowing my sister was awake I decided to break the silence, "Wanna go to the mess?" I asked and she shot up "I thought you'd never ask." I chuckled and got up ad raced out, not waiting for my sister as she chased after me and we both arrived in the mess. I started ravenging through the things to eat and sighed discontent with the selection. I looked down at myself then to Rue "I've gotta rather, big." I sat and Rue gasped almost offended "No! Your just… fluffy." I laughed at her description of me "Your right, I mean I couldn't work out for three years and if you take that into consideration, I look pretty good." Rue sat down in the dark and I heard a crash and a little "Ack!" of panic and wheezed "What did you do?" "Nothing." She said quickly and I sensed her walking over to me. "Wanna make queso?" She asked pulling out some chips, "YES, all we have is string cheese though." Rue gave me a rebellious look, "And?" I laughed at her new found disobedience of common sense. We chopped up the food then Rue left to get something from her room, leaving me alone, in the kitchen, bad move. I set the microwave for 3:00, until I smelt burning. I panicked and opened the door to find burnt cheese, and panicked even more not knowing what to do. Rue who has finally gotta whatever she needed came in and looked just as panicked as I did as she ran over to me and looked at me shocked "How long did you put it in there for?!" She asked and I chuckled nervously "3 minutes…" She looked at the lifeless food and then looked up at me "th- Three minutes?!" She was taken aback by lack of sense, shocking really, and proceeded to throw it in the trash and make another batch, not letting me anywhere near it. We ate peacefully laughing to our hearts content and enjoying eachothers company, something that filled the hole in our hearts that had expanded the more time passed without us being together. We went back to her room and had a rather fun night of just talking, and being crazy as we were sleep deprived and felt like kids again. Finally, I could breath, not only breath, but laugh, cry, and not be completely numb. I guess the saying is right, you never miss something until its gone, and me, and person whose lost everything, appreciates it so much more now. "Hey," I broke the laughter again and Rue looked at me, confused by my now serious tone. "Thank you, for raising me to be the person I am, and for saving me so many times before, for everything honestly, I would've lost all hope if it wasn't for you." I stated my heartfelt confession and she smiled "Your my sister, of course I would save you, because you saved me." I cringed at the sappiness of the situation and Rue laughed at my pained expression. "Where have you been these last few years?" She asked curiously. I sighed contently. "Ryloth, Ash and Hera found me, but Thrawn apparently got a hold of Ash and erased his memory of the encounter." I said reviewing Ash's reaction to me being back, genuinely surprised as if he hadn't just seen me a week ago. "Oh, I guess that makes sense." Rue acknowledged and I felt a suffocating feeling. Why is it so quiet, so cold, why does it feel like the calm before the storm? I felt something chilling ripple through the air, something dangerous, vengeful, cold, something that had just awoken from it's frozen slumber. Like an apparition in the dead of night. The hairs on the back of my neck began to rise as I shivered unnerved at the unpleasant sensation. "What's wrong?" Rue asked apprehensive, "Nothing, and everything."