I shook off the disturbing feeling as Rue looked at me, inquiring for more details. "What?" Rue asked, baffled at my pervious statement. "Nothing." I responded, attempting to calm her nerves. "So, what are you thinking for the wedding?" She searched my eyes for hints of nervousness, which I didn't let show. "I'm not sure," I paused twiddling my thumbs, apprehensive of the future "What ever Benji wants." I finished my thought and saw a expression of worry on my sister's face. I raised my eyebrows wondered what caused the expression and she placed her hand on mine. "What did he do to you?" She choked and tears started to form in her eyes. "Nothing, I'm fine." I snapped, feeling threatened by the words. I hated feeling weak, feeling vulnerable, I hated my sister seeing that side on me. Thrawn had manipulated me to make me weak all the time, I felt trapped, helpless and defenseless, humiliated. My pride and dignity stolen within seconds with no chance of recovery. The torture making me seem crazy, yet having to keep a cool head for the sake of the kids. I hated every single moment of it, the agonizing pain along with psychological torment. I shook at the very thought of the pain and quickly dismmissed the disturbing thoughts. I was the concern in Rue's eyes grow as my moments of thoughts was to her, a few mintues of pure silence. "It's nothing," I calmed her worries and finally thought about the wedding "I don't want anything too big, nothing fancy or extravagant." I explained what I had envisioned for the big day. Rue nodded as if taking notes in her head, and I chuckled at her habit of making a mental note, then forgetting it quickly after. "If possible a purple wedding dress, not that long, and not traditional." I went into more detail and Rue now chuckled at my chlienesss of my favorite colors. I accidentally let a yawn slip reveling how tried I was, however I covered my mouth with my hand and felt myself becoming red and embarrassed. "Let's go to sleep, we can talk more in the morning." Rue said patting my head comfortingly. I felt myself drift off into a land of dreams, a peaceful place where I could escape for the nightmare that was my life.

I woke up feeling oddly suffocated as I opened my eyes and looked around and saw nothing but kids. I saw Kai and Ansa on my chest, Kali closest to me with Armani next to her in my left arm, and Apollo and Aaron on my right, Aaron closer to me than his brother. I crooked my neck to see the weights on my stomach and legs, finding Tooki on my stomach, right above Ally's head, with Ria on the other side. I felt fur tickled my ear so I turned my head to see by best furry friend, "Kya!" I scream-whispered excited to see her as she started to purr, just like her mother. I sat up slowly removing my arms from underneath the kids, careful not to wake them. I felt Kya hop up onto my shoulder, climbing up to my head, then sitting there as if it was her perch. I successfully made it out of bed without disturbing any of the kids, well I thought I hadn't until I heard a groggy little voice break the silence. "Mom?" I heard Ally asked sitting up and rubbing her eyes, "Not quite, it's Rebel." I answered bending down to look her in the eye as she was still on the bed. "I know. That's why I said it." She responded lifting her arms up, going back to default mode as I complied lifting her up. "I think your a little to big for this, Little Love." I addressed her by a random pet name as she addressed me with a simple grumble and laid her head on me. I chuckled stepping out of the door heading to Benji's room. I knocked on the open door as Benji sat in the bed reading. "Your daughter just called me 'mom.'" I filled him in as he looked at me lovingly, inviting me in. "Well, you'll be her mom soon so I guess she's just practicing." He said as I sat down next to him. "Oh yeah?" I question as I gave him a peck on lips. "Of course." He said pushing me down onto the bed, "Woah there tiger," I chuckled pushing him off, "Let's wait until were married." He smirked getting up, "Okay then, the moment we get married we'll-" I cut him off, "There are children here love." I got up from the bed, "Speaking of which I need to go check on." I sighed setting down Ally, who was thankfully dead asleep. I left the room returning to the kids. I peered over them seeing Ansa and Kai snuggling. "Awwwww." I exclaimed in adoreation. I kneeled down laying my face on my arm watching the kids sleep. I knew I had abandoned them, and that I had no right to take them back, but I couldn't lie, I missed them. Kai rolled over to face me and I chuckled "Hi." I cooed running my fingers through his red hair, "You look a lot like your father." I stopped feeling a pang of sadnesses. "Gosh, I was so mad at your dad when he left us, but I did the same thing. I guess I'm a hypocrite." Kai opened his eyes slowly "Mama." He said hugging me, burying his face into my chest. I picked him up, holding him close to me, soothing him to sleep using the force. "Do you want them back?" I heard Rue's voice coming from the door and I spun around, slightly terrified at the fact I didn't sense her. "N-no," I stuttered still surprised, "No, of course not, their your kids, how could I ask for them back?" I asked setting Kai down and stepping away from the bed. "You raised them, I wasn't even in their life for more than a year." I continued still walking away from the bed. "I have no right to them at this point." I said attempting to hide the sorrow in my voice, "I'm sorry for not correcting him, and picking him up without your permission, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds I-" I felt my hands starting to shake in terror as I realzied my back was to the wall and I was slowly starting to shrink down. "I'm sorry. It really won't happen again." I said bowing my head as my whole body was shaking at this point. "Rebel," Rue said in a sympathetic tone coming over to me, which only lead to me trembling even harder. "It's fine." She bent down to my level and lifted up chin so we could see eye to eye. "You did nothing wrong their your kids." She insisted as I nervously glanced over at the kennel in which Tuck was held. Rue followed my line of sight and I saw my reason of worry dawn on her "Rebel, he doesn't-" She looked at me disgusted as I looked down my trembling getting worse, "Its my fault everytime if I just don't-" Rue stopped me from saying another word. "Nothing, and I mean that man has ever done to you has been your fault." She began and I looked down "No, if I just didn't fight it-" She stopped me again "Shut up, just shut up." She said in a more commanding tone. I clenched my fists in fear at the tone that was too familiar "I'm sorry." I felt my voice break "I'm sorry, I didn't you argivate you." I felt tears stream down my face as I clenched my fists harder "I'm sorry, I deserved every single thing." I felt a come my hands as Rue grabbed them quickly, and I realized I had pushed down on them so hard that my palms started to bleed, which was rather easy to do since they were already injured. "Rebel, your hands." Rue said in a pitying tone which caused me to come to my senses as I yanked my hands back and stood up. "I'm going to my room." I announced running to my room, ignoring Rue's protests as she following close behind me, however I got inside the room and locked the door in time. I went straight to the bathroom washing the blood off of my hands, and allowing the cool water to soothe my pulsing nerves. "Your okay, your okay." I told myself as I dried off my hands. I picked up my suitcase off the floor, setting it on the bed and opening it quickly and grabbing a suitable outfit along with one crucial thing, gloves. I changed lastly slipping on the silky white gloves and opening the door to the room revealing Rue, still waiting outside. "Hey, what's up?" I asked cheerfully deciding not to address the situation. I saw the kids waddle out of the room and Ansa look at me eyes glowing. "Mama! Your normal again, your wearing gloves!" She sang as I picked her up. "Yeah, it's weird to see me without gloves isn't it?" I questioned and she nodded lifting her head up to she a cat on me. "Mama, I'm not sure you know this, but a cat is on your head." I laughed at her gentleness and nodded, "Yes I know, she is my cat, her name is Kya." I answered petting Kya with my spare hand "CAN I EAT IT?!" Aaron yelled, "CAN I BURN IT?!" Apollo screeched and I was Rue looking more and more disturbed, "Can I pet it please?" Ansa asked politely and I lowered my head to let her see the cat, paying little attention to my boys requests. "WHY CAN WE BURN AND EAT IT?" Apollo shouted again and I yet again ignored the question. "FIREEEEE" Apollo hollered, making me lift my head up to see my son running down the hall with a lit lighter in his hand. "Apollo!" I screamed setting Ansa down and bolting after him. He starting running even faster making me pick up the pace "Apollo Mitth'raw'nuruodo if you don't right now!" I threatened almost catching him, "What are you gonna do, call Dad?" I stopped in my tracks, hurt by his words. "It's not like you can do anything, dad will kill you if you do, you can't even ground us!"