Tales of Pabu: Part One--Phee and Tech--Love and Other Surprises

by swjedilover

The Bad Batch Season 3 has not happened yet, but this is my imagining of what might happen afterward. In my wishlist, all of Clone Force 99 survives Tantiss (including Tech) and goes to Pabu to live their lives. But what does that look like? Part One tells Phee and Tech's story.

Tales of Pabu

Part One: Phee and Tech-

Love and Other Surprises

Prologue:

"Do you know who you are?"

The doctor's voice, whispery quiet, was more intimidating than any shout.

He hung on the machine like a slab of meat, every part of him hurting. He didn't know how long he'd been here; time had blurred into moments of pain and moments of blackness. He didn't have the strength to even lift his head.

A hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and lifted it for him, painfully. A face swam into his vision, one that had become a familiar, waking nightmare.

"Answer me!"

It took a moment for him to retrieve the question; his brain, once so sharp, had become cloudy and confused. "Tech," he rasped.

"Wrong answer." The doctor touched a button on the machine. Pain shot through every part of his body, as if every nerve was on fire. His teeth rattled in his head. After several minutes, or seconds, or hours, it stopped, and he drooped from his restraints, gasping.

"Now," the doctor said again. "Who are you?"

What was the answer? What did he want him to say? His scrambled brain strained for the right response.

"CT-9902," he tried.

The doctor shook his head in pity. "Wrong answer." He again touched the button, and the electricity shot through his body like hot needles. If possible, it seemed to go on longer than before. He tasted blood; he'd bit his tongue open.

When it ended, the doctor came near and spoke in his ear. "Do you want to know the right answer?"

"Y-Yes," he gasped. "Please."

His lips brushed his ear. "You are no one." He stepped back and watched him as he trembled, his head tilted sideways as if he were some interesting scientific specimen. "Your body was broken when I found you. I healed you, so I could break you down again, and build you back up myself. Who you were before is of no consequence. That person is dead." He came close again, lifted his head by the hair again. "You are who I say you are. You are a shadow. You are mine. Understood?"

He licked the blood from his lips. "Yes."

The doctor's eyes narrowed. "I'm not sure you do understand. Not completely. We may need to continue our sessions to be sure."

"No," he whispered, shaking his head. "Please."

The doctor's stare grew cold. "Never say no to me. Never." He touched the button again.

Pain obliterated every thought, every memory, every dream he'd ever had. There was only now, this moment, this pain, and the waiting for it to stop.

"Now," the doctor said again, in his calm, quiet voice. "Who are you?"

"I am….no one."

"What else?"

"A….shadow."

"And?"

One more thing. Perhaps the most important thing of all that he must never forget. He lifted his head to look the doctor in those icy blue eyes.

"I am yours."

"Very good." The doctor smiled. There was something wrong about the way that made him feel; he felt relieved, even happy, to have pleased the doctor.

The doctor put his hand—not the black-gloved hand, but his good hand—against his cheek, almost lovingly. "I am going to make you into something remarkable. Something perfect. Doesn't that sound wonderful?"

"Yes," he said, in despair.

"Excellent. Let's get started, shall we?" And reached for the button again.

1.

The party was in full swing when Tech left the patio.

They'd all been back on Pabu for a few weeks now, after the traumatic events of Tantiss. Tech had been in the infirmary for a few weeks, and the rest of them had numerous injuries to heal from as well. When they were all better—at least physically—Shep had wanted to gather everyone together and welcome them all back. He thought they could use some fun and the comfort of friends.

But Tech didn't seem to be having fun. True, it was often hard to tell even before Tantiss. But at least then, one knew what to expect from him. This was different.

His physical injuries were healed, but Phee knew—based on what she'd pieced together from the others—that it would be a while before he was back to normal. If he ever would be. Her heart hurt to see him there at the table, picking at the food, looking shell-shocked, not even taking comfort in the constant presence of his datapad. She longed to hear him expound on some obscure facts that nobody asked for; or explain the complicated mechanisms of ship hydraulics. Anything but this silence.

His brothers and Omega had tried to draw him out, even the dour one she hadn't met before, Crosshair. Skinny as the toothpicks he chewed on. He'd stopped brooding in the corner and sat next to Tech, asking him if he was okay, if he needed to talk. Apparently, he'd been through some Imperial bantha shit as well. But Tech only shook his head, looking down at his datapad that Phee knew he didn't really see.

Omega drew Crosshair away with a question. Phee sat next to Tech, not willing to be apart from him for any amount of time. When she'd heard about his "death" on Eriadu, it was as if a meteor had slammed into her. When she had finished weeping in private, she found Hunter and told him she was going with them to get Omega back. She wasn't going to lose them both. No way.

And when she found that he was actually alive—compromised, but alive—she knew her heart with a clarity that stunned her. Nothing was going to separate her from him ever again ("Get your filthy hands off my clone!" she'd raged at the troopers on Tantiss, backing up her words with her blaster).

And so, when he finally just stood and left the patio, she followed. Hunter would have gone, concern in his face as he rose from his chair, but she gestured to him to let her handle it. He nodded and went back to talking to Shep.

She found him not far away, standing alone and looking out over the wall at the night-dark sea. A soft wind blew through his hair, which had grown longer over the months and made him even more handsome. His goggles, destroyed in the fall on Eriadu, had been replaced by clear glasses that brought up any data he required at the push of a button or two on the sides.

She approached and stood next to him, looking out at the waves that gently rocked the boats in the dock below. He glanced over at her but said nothing.

"That party was getting a little boring, anyway," she said. "Not that it's not nice to be around friends. Sometimes you need that. But sometimes you just need to be alone." She looked over at him. "Do you want to be alone, Tech?" She would let him be if he said yes. But she fervently hoped he would say no.

"Yes." Her heart fell. But then he smiled wanly and said, "But you can stay."

"Well, don't I feel special," she joked, then immediately regretted it. Would he think she was making fun of him? Damn her smart-ass attitude!

But he replied, "You are special," and looked back out to the sea.

She was embarrassed at how happy those words made her. They watched the boats bob and float on the surface of the water, their lights like stars mirroring the heavens.

"Do you like the ocean?" she asked. An idea was forming in her head.

"I grew up surrounded by the ocean, on Kamino. But it was very different than this. Stormy and dangerous. It never comforted me."

Oh, how she wanted to comfort him! So, she said, "Come with me. I want to show you something."

She started walking down the winding road that led to the beach far below. She wasn't sure if he'd follow, but after a brief hesitation, he came into step beside her. They walked in silence through the streets of Pabu, lit by colorful lanterns and the comings and goings of the villagers on this glorious, mild night.

They reached the beach and the docks not far away. She led him to a boat that she used when she wanted some time on the water.

"What do you say?" she asked. "Up for a ride?"

She thought he might refuse, but again, he surprised her and stepped onto the boat. He helped her in, and she started the engine, taking them out a little way from the beach, far enough away that the sounds of the village faded, but not too far that they felt unmoored from the familiar.

She cut the engine and let the boat drift. The moonless night sky was lit with a million stars that shone down like benevolent spirits. She took a blanket out of a storage unit underneath the bench they sat on and unrolled it onto the bottom of the boat.

She sat down on it and lay back, gazing up at the stars. "Come on down. It's spectacular."

Again, he hesitated, but then moved from the bench and lay down beside her.

The stars wheeled above them, and it seemed they were floating in space, with the cosmos all around them.

"Pretty amazing, right?" she asked him.

"Yes," he answered, gazing up at the heavens. His face seemed to relax just a bit, and he sighed.

"I bet you can tell me where Kamino is," she prompted him.

He studied the constellations for a few moments, getting his bearings. But she was right; of course he knew, even without help from the glasses. He raised his arm and pointed. "There."

She moved closer, her head touching his shoulder, so her line of sight lined up with his pointed finger.

"The cities are destroyed, and the Kaminoans gone," he said. "But the planet is still there, obviously. I take some comfort in that." His arm came down again.

She marveled again at the very existence of clones. Of identical people not born, but created; no mother, just a donor father, no womb, just a test tube. But many, many brothers. And a sister. She thought of her own family, her parents gone, her brother far away on Batuu.

"Where are you from, Phee?" he asked, without her prompting. That was encouraging.

"Draxel 5."

"In the Cordon system?"

"That's right."

He thought for a moment, scanning the stars. Then: "There." His arm lifted again, pointing in another direction, at another dim point of light in the band of stars.

She scooted a little closer, then let her hand trace up his arm to point with her own finger. "There?"

"Yes." He turned his head to look at her, so close to him now. The starlight shone in his eyes, those brown eyes she adored, though they only glittered a shade of gray in the night. She wanted to kiss him. But she didn't want to scare him away; he had to be handled delicately right now.

By the time she'd made this decision, he'd turned away. Their arms came down; and though she gave up the thought of kissing him right now, she claimed his hand in her own. She wondered if he would pull away, but he didn't. He smiled as he continued to stare at the stars, and he squeezed her hand gently.

Phee smiled too, feeling as incandescent as the stars above.

2.

When Tech walked Phee home after their stargazing, he continued to hold her hand. It felt…good. Reassuring. She anchored him here, when all he wanted to do was flee.

Pabu was different now. No, that wasn't right. He was different. After Tantiss, he felt lost. A Shadow lived inside him, one so dark that not even the Pabu sun could evaporate it. It frightened him and isolated him. He no longer felt connected to anyone or anything. That's why he'd left the party. He couldn't bear the pain of being near his family without feeling like a part of it anymore. He'd found it difficult to process emotions at the best of times.

But then Phee had come to him, and he hadn't minded. Something tickled at the back of his mind, deep inside where the Shadow couldn't go—during the worst at Tantiss, when he very nearly forgot who he had been, part of him remembered: someone had chosen him. He'd been someone, and somebody had decided that he was special. He couldn't remember who, a name or a face, but he knew. And he'd held onto that for his very life. It had saved him, then.

And now, he knew that it had been Phee, and she offered him a hand now. So he took it, and he didn't think he'd ever let go, if he could help it.

But he had to let go to bid her good night. She turned to him at her door and smiled. She is beautiful. The thought surprised him, but he also knew that he'd always thought this. He just hadn't been in the habit of finding women beautiful; it hadn't been in the normal purview of his life.

They stood there at her door looking at each other, and he wasn't sure what to do. There had been a moment, on the boat, when he thought that he might like to kiss her. But he quickly decided that was foolish. Now, she looked at him, her head tilted, and he wasn't sure.

"Well, goodnight," he said.

"Goodnight."

He turned away. He heard her turn the old-fashioned knob on the door. He turned back.

"Phee."

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For inviting me onto the boat."

"Anytime." She smiled. "Brown eyes," she added, and winked.

Brown eyes. Yes, that's what she'd called him. And he hadn't understood at first, since all clones had brown eyes. But she'd looked past the goggles and seen him and liked what she saw. Whatever it was.

"Would you like to…perhaps—go on the boat again tomorrow? Or—something."

"I'd love to."

He nodded. "All right. Good. Well. Goodnight."

"Night."

As he walked away toward his rooms, he thought, I think I have what is called a 'date.' A date with a woman. He thought maybe this was the way forward. And for the first time in a very long time, hope bloomed in his heart.

3.

Phee worried. Tech seemed better, but he still looked as if he hadn't slept well. He began to eat some more, but he was still quiet at the dinner table, his datapad forgotten in his hand. They went out on the boat a few times, took walks throughout Pabu, and talked of his brothers, Omega, Shep and Pabu itself. He never brought up Tantiss, and she didn't know if she should, or how. They held hands, and he politely walked her to her rooms, and they said goodnight, and she watched him walk away and closed her door, when all she wanted to do was pull him into her arms. But she was afraid to push him.

She talked to his brothers—Hunter, mostly, and he advised patience. Wrecker had a big heart, but he wasn't exactly an expert on pointed conversations. She would have gone to Toothpick, but she didn't see him too much; he avoided Shep's dinners and brooded alone most days. It frightened her. Would Tech end up like him? Finally, she went to Echo. That guy clearly had suffered some trauma in the war.

"I'll see what I can do," he told her. "But you must understand, Phee. We've all seen and experienced war, we've all gone through some pretty bad stuff. We talk about it if we want to. But we don't push. We have a code."

She didn't care about their damn code. She cared about Tech.

But at the next dinner, Echo took Tech aside and talked to him for a while. A few times Tech looked over and saw her watching, and she looked away quickly, pretending to do something else. After a time, Echo clapped Tech on the back and left him.

She kept busy braiding Omega's hair, which had grown nearly down to her shoulders. She was already a lovely young woman. Phee was going to have to sit her down and have some conversations with her soon, she figured, woman to woman. Her brothers certainly weren't the ones to do it.

"Hi Tech!" Omega chimed, and Phee looked up to see him standing nearby. "What do you think of my new hairstyle?"

"It is very nice, Omega," he said. "Do you mind if I interrupt and take Phee from you?" He met Phee's eyes. "It is an ideal evening for a walk." Every night was an ideal night for a walk on Pabu, but she didn't say so.

"Sure," Phee said, rising from the bench.

"But what about my hair?" Omega asked, as her braid started to unwind.

"Lyana will finish it for you," she said, waving the other girl over.

The girls giggled together as she and Tech left the patio. He held her hand, as always, and they walked in silence for a while. She watched him from the side of her eye, wondering what effect Echo's talk had had on him.

"Phee," he said finally, steering her toward a bench in a quiet courtyard. "I want to speak with you."

"Okay." She sat on the bench, and he joined her. He thought for a minute about what he was going to say. She liked that about him; she tended to be the opposite, speaking before thinking.

"I know that you are worried about me," he said. "That I have not been…myself. And while it may take me some time to recover from my experience on Tantiss, I want to assure you that I will be fine. I do not want you to worry."

"Oops. Too late." She tried to smile, but it wouldn't quite come.

He took her hand again. "My brothers will always be there for me. As they know I will always be there for them. It is understood, without words. But…I have come to realize that it may not be so for you. That you need verbal reassurance." He took her other hand and pulled her closer. Her heart beat fast, and she waited for him to continue. "Do you remember when we left for that last mission? When you came to me to say goodbye?"

She chuckled. "I don't think I'll ever forget. You were so tongue-tied, hardly anything came out."

He gave a small smile. "Yes. I did not know how to…process what I was feeling or articulate it. But it was very nearly the last time I would ever see you. And…I regretted not telling you that…that you…" He sighed.

She waited, giving him time. She leaned in toward him, encouraging him.

"I wanted to tell you that I had come to care for you very much. And that I would miss you. And that…." He leaned in the rest of the way and kissed her, gently, testing it. His hands trembled in hers. She wasn't so steady herself; the world tilted and spun.

He pulled back, his face still close. "Was that…agreeable?"

She nodded. "Very."

He took a breath. "Would you like to kiss some more?"

"Oh yes." She let go of his hands and took hold of his face, pulling him in again. This time the kiss was harder, longer, more exploratory. His hands came up around her waist. She pulled away long enough to push his glasses up into his hair and out of the way, and then returned to his lips. She experimented with slipping just the tip of her tongue into his mouth, and he gasped.

"Phee," he whispered. "I would like to…do you want…perhaps we can follow this to its…natural conclusion?"

"If you mean do I want to go back to my place with you, the answer is yes."

He nodded. "Yes. That is what I mean. What I…want."

"Then let's go." She stood on slightly wobbly legs and held out her hand. He took it, and they walked, rather quickly, back to her rooms a few blocks away.

She led him inside, where one small light burned in the corner. She closed the door, then turned to him. He stood looking at her, suddenly unsure, so she went up to him and kissed him again. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close; his hands caressed her back, her hips, her bottom, as his lips descended to her neck.

"Come on," she breathed, leading him to the small bedroom off the common room. She sat him down on her bed, pulled his glasses off and set them on a small table nearby. She waved a hand over a lamp, and it lit with a soft glow. Sitting down next to him, she reached over and lifted the blue shirt he wore over his head.

His chest rose and fell with his desire. Tentatively, he grasped the ends of her shirt in his fingers and lifted it over her head. As it came off, it took her headwrap with it, and her tight coils of hair fell around her face. He brushed his hands over them, then buried his fingers in them as he kissed her again. Soon, she was reaching for his belt, pulling at the top of his pants.

"Phee," he said, forcing himself away from her lips. Oh please, please don't let him change his mind, she thought, thinking maybe it was too much too soon for him.

"Yeah, baby?" The first time she called him that; she couldn't help herself.

"My knowledge of…of the act is more…academic, rather than experiential."

She ran her hands through his hair. "Don't you worry about that. You just let ol' Phee take care of you." She gently pushed him down onto the bed and straddled him. "After all, it's not hyperdrive mechanics."

"Phee is worried about you," Echo had said to Tech after dinner. There had been a moment when he was alone, and Echo had taken a seat next to him.

"Worried?" He automatically looked over at Phee, who was braiding Omega's hair. He hadn't had any intimation of this as they'd spent time together the past week or so. "About what?"

"About what happened," Echo answered. After a hesitation, he added, "On Tantiss. She asked me to talk to you."

"Well, there is no reason for her to worry. I am fine." And he was fine. Mostly. He was getting his bearings again, at least. But there were dreams, where the Shadow flitted, and a loss of sleep.

"Don't tell me," Echo said. "Tell her." He nodded over to Phee, and Tech glanced at her again. She quickly averted her eyes, as if she'd been watching them.

"Look, Tech, it's not my business. But Phee cares about you. If you return the feelings at all, you should talk to her. Let her know how you feel."

He did return the feelings. More than he thought he could ever express. "I will try. This is…. all very new to me."

Echo grunted but smiled. "I get it. You know, after Skako Minor, I was changed—obviously—and I wasn't sure where I fit. Until I joined your squad. Now I have to figure out where I fit again." He regarded Tech fondly. "Maybe this is where you fit now, Tech. If Phee can help you with that, you should embrace it." He stood and bent down to his ear. "Or embrace her." He laughed and clapped him on the back.

So, he had. And now he found himself in her bed, Phee moving above him, slowly at first, and he thought her the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And then her movements became more urgent, and she was electrifying-in a good way. Very, very good. All that existed was her and the dimly lit room and the pleasure building until it crested for both of them, and there was no Shadow, no Tantiss, no past, just her and the night and the joy of this moment.

She leaned down and kissed him, breathless.

"That was," he panted, "…. pleasant."

She laughed softly. "Stars, I love you." She traced a finger along the side of his face. "I love you, Tech."

Love. Yes, that was what he felt. As he kissed her, as he uttered the words, he realized this was where he fit. Here, in her arms, and in her heart.

They made love again that night, and again in the morning when they woke in each other's arms. And again in Phee's outdoor shower before meeting everyone for dinner on Shep's patio. Phee was convinced everyone knew what they'd been up to, and why wouldn't they? She and Tech could barely keep their hands off each other, exchanged knowing smiles, forgot that anyone else existed, until Shep suddenly asked, "Don't you think so, too, Phee?"

She looked over quickly. "Um, yes, absolutely, Shep. I agree." Everyone looked at each other and chuckled. She had no idea what he'd been talking about, as she'd been lost in watching Tech eat, which for some reason nearly crippled her with desire.

Tech came to her rescue. He took a swallow of wine, and said, "Yes, Phee was just telling me the other day that the infirmary could use some new equipment and supplies. Perhaps we could help with procuring those upgrades."

She caught his eye and shot him a grateful smile. Of course he heard what Shep said, despite being preoccupied. He didn't miss much.

After that, it was a matter of routine to attend Shep's dinners every night, make polite chit-chat with everyone and eat something off their plates, and then excuse themselves as soon as humanly possible to hurry back to her rooms to make love.

He was becoming more confident, lasting longer, trying new things, until one night Phee thought the walls would rattle with her cries. She felt sorry for her neighbors. A little.

"Where," she gasped, after he'd rolled off her, "Where did you learn to do that?"

He raised himself up on one elbow and caressed her thigh, only slightly out of breath. "I have been researching various methods of pleasing the human female. It would seem," he stated proudly, "that my research has paid off."

She punched him in the arm, not too lightly. "I'm not a science experiment!" Apparently, he had approached it like hyperdrive mechanics.

He cocked his head at her. "Indeed, you are not." He lay back on the pillows, his hands behind his head. "I will not do that again."

"Now hold on," she said, sitting up, alarm setting in. She ran a hand down his chest. "I didn't say anything about that."

He smiled that little half smile that drove her crazy. "Oh?"

"I just meant that I don't want you to think about pleasing me. I just want you to enjoy it in the moment."

He took her hand and kissed her palm. "Believe me, my dear Phee, I enjoy every…single…moment with you." He kissed along the inside of her arm as he spoke.

She shivered. This man. This ridiculously sweet, infuriating man. "Well, all right," she said, lying down and putting her head on his chest. "I forgive you."

"Well, that is a relief." His hand caressed her back and she felt heavy and tired, her body wrung out with pleasure.

"So…what was that move, anyway?"

"It is called The Blossoming of the Flower. In my research, I found an ancient Moruvian text on sexual pleasure called The Garden of Delights. They believed the act of love was a gift from their goddess, a link to the divine, and the sexual arts became a sacred, almost religious practice that only their holy men and women were allowed to learn. The ancient Moruvians are long extinct, but the text remains extant and has become rather famous in more risqué circles…"

He droned on, and she let him, comforted by the sound of his voice. There was a time, a terrible, painful time, when she thought she'd never hear his educational litanies ever again. So she listened, without really listening, just riding along with the cadence of his voice, until she slipped into dream.

"Phee, are you even listening to me?"

She woke and peered up at him sleepily. "No. But keep talking."

He smiled and went back to his lecture on whatever it was he'd moved on to. "All right. So you see, this is why the Miralovians, descendants of the ancient Moruvians, ban the texts and disagree with…."

4.

Tech left Shep's offices, telling the mayor of Pabu and Hunter that he would return the next day to begin helping with the various projects they wanted to start.

"We'd appreciate your insight," Shep said, as benevolent as always. He'd taken Hunter under his wing, showing him the ropes of how Pabu functioned, and including him in important decisions about the community.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Hunter had asked on the way out. "You can take as long as you need."

"More than ready," he'd replied. "I need something to do, Hunter."

A funny smile spread on Hunter's face. "Seems like you've been very busy already."

Tech felt the blush on his face acutely. "Well, other than that." He'd been in an amorous daze for weeks now, barely leaving Phee's bed. But he was who he was—someone who had to challenge his mind. His body had been healed and comforted and worked with the most pleasant of exercise, his heart filled to capacity—but his mind needed working, too.

Hunter put a hand on his arm. "Phee's been good for you. We're all happy for you both. But if you want to help, you're more than welcome."

"Thank you, Hunter. See you at dinner?"

"Always."

He walked back down the main road, toward Phee's rooms, already feeling the need for her, the constant desire. It was a few hours still before dinner, perhaps they could….

He caught sight of Crosshair walking a short distance ahead of him. Tech hadn't spoken to him for quite some time, as Crosshair usually skipped Shep's dinners. What did the man do all day?

He followed him all the way down the mountain, past the docks to the beach area. There was a small, open-air patio that served drinks, and here Crosshair stopped, finding a seat at an empty table. He lifted a hand lazily, and the Gran bartender poured a drink and placed it in front of him. Crosshair scowled without a thank-you; the bartender only shook his head as he walked back to the bar.

Tech went in and ordered his own drink at the bar, a sweet, fruity concoction that was the mainstay here on Pabu. He took it and sat across from Crosshair, who looked up in surprise. He'd been too busy gazing into his cup to notice Tech's entrance.

"Where'd you come from?" Crosshair asked.

"Test tube, same as you."

"Funny." He sipped his drink and grimaced; he didn't care for sweet things. "I'm surprised you peeled yourself away from the pirate."

"Her name is Phee. And she prefers the term 'liberator of ancient wonders.' And you are right—I could be with her right now. Having a lot more fun than you seem to be having."

"Why aren't you?"

"Can a person not check in with his brother? Since you do not seek us out, we must find you."

"Well, you found me. And as you can see, I'm trying to fit in with the locals." He gestured with his drink to the few people there: a Pantoran couple at the bar, a group of three Bith chatting at a table in the corner. A human, a young man with brown hair and startlingly blue eyes, finished his drink and got up from a table to walk past them, out onto the beach. Crosshair watched him, his eyes following the young man until he was out of sight around the corner.

"Do you know him?" Tech asked.

Crosshair jerked his eyes back to their table. "No."

"Have you made any friends here?" But Tech already knew the answer.

"You know I don't make friends." He forced himself to drink more of the cocktail.

"Maybe you should try. Or at least come see us. Your family. Surely you know that all is forgiven, Crosshair."

Crosshair grunted. "Forgiven. But not forgotten?"

"We have," he replied. "But perhaps you have not."

Crosshair looked up from his drink, his face twisted with bitterness. And something else: regret.

Tech continued, choosing his words carefully. "I know what it is like to be haunted by the past. But we must let it go, if we are to move on."

"Some of us have something to move on to," Crosshair pointed out. "What the hell am I supposed to do here? Find a lover?" His voice dripped with sarcasm.

"If you can. I highly recommend it." Tech shot an eyebrow up.

Crosshair only grunted.

"Crosshair, whatever you do from this point forward will be on your own terms. You can do or be whatever you want now."

Crosshair took a reluctant sip of his drink. "What if I don't know what that is?" he asked in a low voice, eyes averted.

"Give it time. Sit with the boredom for a while and see what comes up."

"Easy for you to say."

"I suppose," he conceded. "Until then, well, you can work on your tan or your swimming skills."

Crosshair lifted his cup in salute. "Thanks for the advice, brother."

"Anytime." He stood, already thinking of Phee waiting for him. "Try not to be a stranger."

"Tech."

"Yes?"

"Thanks. For….everything."

Tech nodded, knowing Crosshair didn't just mean for the sun-bathing advice. They'd gone back for Crosshair, at Tech's urging. And Tech had nearly died. And worse.

As he walked back home to Phee, he knew he'd do it again, despite everything.

5.

Because Tech's mind was, in his own words, "exceptional," and constantly needing engagement, he needed some occupation during the long, hot days of Pabu. As much as she would have liked to roll around in bed all day, Phee understood this.

He spent his days helping Shep and Hunter work on a new water relay and desalinization system for the village. The old system had begun to show problems, and Tech had plenty of ideas on how to update it.

Phee herself kept busy by volunteering in the commissary, helping in the infirmary, or the school, or just spending time researching ancient artifacts. It was still her passion, but now was not the time to go on any treasure-hunting adventures. Not yet, anyway.

One idle afternoon, while Tech was busy working out new plans for the water system, she walked along the beach alone. She wasn't usually prone to daydreaming, but this hot lazy day encouraged it.

She'd never been in love before. Oh, she'd had a few lovers here and there, mostly because she'd been bored or lonely. They'd had their fun, they'd said goodbye and parted ways, and she'd been left essentially unchanged by the encounters.

It had always been about the quests. The missions always came first, and if someone got in the way of that—well, she didn't stick around too long. One fella even wanted to marry her. She couldn't think of a more distasteful fate. She was meant to be out there, finding rare, often beautiful, always sought-after objects. Not necessarily for the money involved—although that was an added incentive—but the thrill of the chase.

What had she been chasing after? Credits, fame, bragging rights. But more to the point, perhaps it was what she was running from: Putting down roots. A brother's disapproval. Other people's expectations. She was going to forge her own destiny, and that meant being out there, in the stars. And when she found she could help the citizens of Pabu get some of their history back, that felt good, too.

But now? Now she was what she had always scoffed at: a woman in love. She was so in love, in fact, she couldn't even be disgusted with herself. She thought of him, and she could only smile, and feel the flutter-bugs in her belly, and the deep, pulling desire that followed her everywhere. It was rather ridiculous, and she didn't care.

But she didn't want to give up the treasure-hunting. It was fun, and it was who she was. She wanted to share it with Tech, that excitement, and she thought he would be perfect for it, actually: he liked to tease out a puzzle, solve problems, clear up mysteries. What a team they could be!

But he was only just recovering from Tantiss and beginning to display a bit of his former self. He chatted with the others at dinner, offered up more of his quips, and went to Hunter himself to ask for something to do, work that he seemed to enjoy.

She couldn't ask him to leave now. Or leave him behind. And that's how love had changed her: she was putting someone else's needs ahead of hers. Who would have thought it?

Her musings were interrupted by Omega running down the beach toward her.

"Phee!" Her blonde hair shone in the sun, and her skin was getting tanned by time out in the Pabu sun.

"Hey, baby girl."

Omega stopped just before her, panting with exhaustion, her hands on her knees.

"What's got you all in a huff?"

When she caught her breath, she said, "Hunter told me I have to keep up with my training. That means staying in tip-top shape and building up endurance." She collapsed into the sand, recovering from her run.

Phee sat down on the sand beside her. "I hope you're taking time to have some fun, too." This girl had been through too much for one her age.

"Sure," she replied. "Lyana and I have tons of fun. And I've met…lots of other kids. But I like training. Crosshair even said he'll teach me how to shoot his sniper rifle." Phee saw the excited glint in her eye; oh yeah, she was a clone, all right. "Do you think Tech will still teach me how to fly?"

"I'm sure he'd love to. I'll mention it to him."

Omega tilted her head at her. "Phee?"

"Hhmm?"

"Are you and Tech….in love?"

Was it radiating off her every pore? But it wasn't exactly a secret. "Well, now, what do you think?"

Omega regarded her. "Well, you've been holding hands for a while. You're always staring at each other, too, and smiling funny little smiles. And every night you go off on your walks together, just the two of you, and we don't see either of you until the next day. So yes, I think you are in love."

"Then I guess you answered your own question."

She scrunched up her nose. "What does it feel like?"

Phee sighed, looking out over the sea. How to explain it to the girl? She could barely explain it to herself. "Honestly? It's a little overwhelming."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she began slowly, thinking about it, "Before, I was a separate person, with my own life, my own goals, my own thoughts. But now, he's all mixed up in it. A part of it. A part of me, and it can't be unmixed. Like milk stirred into a cup of caf, you know?"

She frowned. "Not really. I don't drink caf."

Phee laughed. "Good. It's not good for you."

"I'm glad, though, Phee. I'm glad for you and Tech. He seems happy. We were all worried about him."

"Me, too." She winked. "But I worked my magic on him," she joked.

Omega laughed, and they watched the waves rolling in for a while.

"So…" Phee began. "Since we're on the subject of love…I thought we could have a girl talk about…well, all that sort of stuff. Feelings, and, well, what people like to do when they're in love…" An awkward start, but she felt a responsibility to bring it up.

"Do you mean sex?"

"Oh. Um. Yes?" So much for delicately introducing the subject.

Omega waved her hand. "Oh, Nala Se told me all about it years ago. The Kaminoans could be pretty clinical about that sort of thing. I know all about it."

"Oh. Okay. And what about your cycles?"

"I don't have them yet. But I think, maybe soon?"

"Well, you let me know when it happens, and we'll take care of it. And if you have any questions about it, you come to me. About any of it. Okay?"

Omega smiled at her. "Thanks, Phee." She leaned over and hugged her, then stood up, brushing off sand from her clothes. "Gotta go. I promised Hunter I'd run five klicks, and that's what I'm going to do."

"Well, can't disappoint the Sargent, now, can we?"

"Nope. Bye!" And she took off running, her hair flying out behind her, her feet kicking up sand as she went.

Phee watched her go, feeling a different kind of love well up inside her. These clones. They got under your skin, and they stayed there.

6.

The days passed into weeks, then into months. Their days fell into a pleasant routine. It was probably the most peaceful period the clones had seen in—well, ever. They all seemed to be adjusting to it just fine. Except Crosshair. He still struggled to find his place on Pabu. In all honesty, Phee didn't think he did belong here. There was no malice in the thought; he just seemed to be meant for other things. She didn't doubt his loyalty to his brothers and Omega—he even made good on his promise to train her—but he was different, and they all knew it.

Another one who was restless was Echo. Not because he didn't know where he belonged, but because he did know where he belonged. And it wasn't on Pabu.

"There are still clones out there who need help," he said one night at dinner. "And while that's true, I can't just stay here on this paradise. I know you all have found lives here, and I'm happy for that. But now that Rex is out of the game, a new leader is needed."

This Captain Rex, who all the clones respected and looked up to, had apparently seen too many of his brothers die, and had witnessed enough of war for his shortened life span; he'd taken two of his brothers to parts unknown to live out the rest of their lives in peace. It was a blow to Echo, but he understood, even though he himself wasn't ready to give up the fight.

"Luckily," Hunter said, "we know a guy who's perfectly qualified." He raised his cup to Echo, who returned the gesture.

"There is talk," Tech interjected, "that a civil war may be coming. Already, there are pockets of resistance forming all over the galaxy. The Empire cannot sustain this kind of rule without pushback."

These words darkened Phee's heart. They terrified her, actually. Would Tech want to heed the call, like Echo?

"Well, right now all I'm interested in is helping the clones," Echo said. "After that…. we'll see what happens."

"You might want to ask Toothpick if he wants to go with you," Phee suggested. "He's just darkening Pabu's sun with his scowls."

"I'd thought of that," Echo said thoughtfully.

"I don't think you have to worry about Crosshair's allegiances," Hunter said. "Not after Tantiss."

"Omega said he killed an Imperial lieutenant for letting a reg die," Wrecker added, still filling his plate with food. "That's how he ended up there. Well, that and that freaky doctor, Hemlock."

Phee sensed Tech tense at the name. He'd shared a little bit—a very little bit—about what happened and what Hemlock did to him. But not everything. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. But she was intensely grateful that sadistic bastard was dead.

"I'll mention it to him," Echo said. "I'm waiting to hear from a contact. When I do, I'll be leaving, probably for a while. Omega won't be happy. But she'll understand." Omega had run down to the docks with Lyana for a boat ride.

Tech and Phee left the patio as soon as politeness required, though by now everyone knew where they were going and were long past the knowing looks and elbow jabs.

About halfway to her rooms Tech stopped and pulled Phee into a quiet alcove. "Phee, I would like to talk to you."

Oh stars, here it comes, she thought with despair. He was going to go with Echo to fight for his brothers, maybe even join up in the crusade against the Empire.

"Okay," she said, feeling a little faint. She even felt sick to her stomach.

He sat her down and took her hand. "Phee, are you happy in our relationship?"

"I'm the happiest I've ever been," she answered. And because she couldn't bear to hear it from his own lips, she said, "Look, I know you want to go with Echo. And because I love you, if that's what you really want to do, I won't stand in your way." She felt tears coming. She'd never been this emotional. This is what love did to you.

"Go with Echo?" His voice, his face conveyed his confusion. He shook his head. "Phee. My love. I do not want to go with Echo."

"What?"

"That is not what this is about."

"Oh." She nearly sagged with relief. "Then what is it?"

He took his usual few moments to consider his words. "I have come to find a kind of happiness here I never even considered before. Never thought possible, or even probable. And…you are at the center of that."

She took a deep breath but said nothing, only squeezed his hands tighter.

"After Tantiss…. after Tantiss, I was not sure who I was anymore. I could not remember who I was. And….part of me wanted to die. Felt I should have died, on Eriadu. I felt like I was falling again, from that rail car. Waiting to hit the rocks below. Wanting to.

But—you caught me, Phee. You caught me and held me and showed me that I was alive. Reminded me who I was again."

He sighed. "What I am trying to say is that I do not want to waste it. Whatever years I have left, I want it to be here, with you. And…. I thought, if you would like, we could have a more….serious arrangement. A true partnership. To show my commitment. And love."

She wasn't sure she was hearing him right. "Tech. Are you—proposing?"

"Very, very badly. But yes. Phee—would you consider—being my wife?"

She bit her lip. She couldn't speak for a moment.

"And I do mean consider it, carefully," Tech continued. "Clones do not have a life span as long as most other people. We have always understood this, but it may be difficult for others to accept. Our time would be limited."

She shook her head. "I don't care. Whatever time we have, it's a gift." She didn't want to think about that.

He went on, not done with his warnings. "We cannot have children. Clones are infertile. You would be giving up that opportunity."

"Never fancied myself very maternal, anyway. We've got Omega, right?"

"Are you saying—yes?"

And despite once believing she couldn't think of anything more distasteful, realizing that it wasn't marriage itself but the man she had disapproved of, she threw her arms around him.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

She took his face in her hands and kissed him. "Yes."

7.

He hadn't been so sure Phee would say yes. He had hoped, of course, but the limitations of clones—their short life spans and their infertility—caused him to hesitate. They seemed like logical reasons for a woman to decline a proposal, but he knew so little on the subject that he sought advice.

"Hunter, I would like your opinion on a matter of great importance to me," he said to his brother one day when their work was done.

"Sure," Hunter said, putting away the schematics they'd been working on. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "What's up?"

Tech had been wondering how to bring it up all day, and now that it came to it, he was unsure. He cleared his throat. "Well. I've been thinking about….well, I would like ask Phee to….marry me."

Hunter sat up, his eyes wide. "Marry?" A smile spread across his face. "Tech, that's great."

"Do you really think so? I have some reservations."

"What do you mean? It's obvious she's crazy about you."

"I am simply worried she would be crazy to unite her life with mine, considering she will live significantly longer than I, and without any children from the union."

Hunter became thoughtful. "I see your point." He shook his head. "Well, I don't know much about this kind of thing. But you make each other happy. Maybe that's enough?"

"I would like to think so. But…" What if she said no? What if she thought he was foolish to even ask? What if….

Hunter must have seen his doubts, because he said, "Look, Tech, do you love her?"

He couldn't help but smile. "Yes."

"Do you want to spend the time you have left with her?"

"Yes. I do."

"Then it seems to me the only thing you can do is ask her."

Tech nodded. "You are right. Of course. I must ask her." He thought. "Perhaps I can study various cultural methods of marriage proposal and…."

Hunter laughed and put a hand on Tech's arm. "Just ask her. What's the worst that could happen?"

Tech looked at him pointedly. "She can say no."

Hunter shrugged. "And then what? Once your bruised pride recovers, you can live happily together on Pabu until the end of your days anyway. But I have a good feeling about this."

"Is that your enhanced awareness talking?"

"It's my brotherly intuition talking. Trust me."

And Hunter had been right. Tech still wondered if Phee understood the ramifications of marrying a clone. But he was too happy to wonder for long.

8.

There was a wedding not long after. It was a small affair, attended by their close friends, and a few people from the village they knew. Shep, due to his duties as Mayor of Pabu, officiated. It was held on the beach on a brilliant day, just before sunset. Phee wore a simple wrap-around blue skirt and a white silk blouse; she held a small bouquet of wildflowers, blue, red and yellow, that grew in one of the villager's gardens. Omega had put some of the flowers in her hair. The girl was so excited she was nearly jumping up and down.

Even Crosshair showed up, though she didn't really think he'd skip it. Despite the man's dour personality, she suspected he had a soft spot for Tech, and would do anything under the Pabu sun for him.

Wrecker had been put in charge of the food, and he outdid himself—there was enough there to feed the entire village. He also had a surprise for later, after the sun set: fireworks, which he set off with glee. He couldn't blow things up anytime soon, but he could still make things go boom.

Hunter beamed, watching his people—his family—enjoy themselves and celebrate. It was more than he could have ever asked for. Phee wondered if he'd ever allow himself a little bit of joy, or if he'd carry the responsibility of protecting his squad forever. She did notice a pretty red-headed woman, a villager she only vaguely recognized, go up to him and start a conversation, smiling at him in a certain way. Good luck with that one, honey, Phee thought.

They'd rounded up a few musicians who lived in the village, and there was music. She attempted to teach her husband—husband, she liked the sound of that—how to dance. It was awkward and she laughed, and he was a good sport about it because he was happy.

Later, as the night wound down and people wished them well before drifting away, she took his hand and led him down to the shoreline, where they walked barefoot in the sand under the bright full moon.

"I think that went quite well," he said.

"It did," she agreed. She smiled at him wickedly. "It could get even better, you know."

He smiled back. "I wonder what you are thinking, my dear wife."

"I think you know."

He answered by suddenly picking her up in his arms. She laughed as he carried her up the sand to a little hidden nook behind a large rock. As he made love to her under the moonlight, she thought This is my best day, ever.

9.

This is the worst day, ever, she thought a few weeks later, vomiting up what little was left in her stomach.

She'd been feeling the illness coming on for a while now, and it was only getting worse. Nausea and vomiting throughout the day, a crushing fatigue, and a growing irritation at her husband, who, naturally concerned, urged her to go see Dr. Xo, the Mirialan physician who ran the infirmary.

"I will carry you there myself if you do not go this morning," Tech said, perching on the bed they shared in their new living space, located closer to the beach.

"Ooh, that sounds nice," she joked, though she wasn't feeling very humorous.

"I mean it, Phee. There are no viruses going around the village. This is concerning. I could scan you myself, if you like, but I would prefer a doctor to—"

"Okay, okay, I'll go," she said, curled up among the pillows. She didn't want to go anywhere at the moment.

"I will go with you."

She sat up and touched his cheek. "I can manage. I promise, I'll go. Now go tell Hunter everything he's doing wrong on that sanitation project."

"l will check in with you at lunch. And I better get a full report."

She saluted him. "Yes, sir."

He looked troubled as he left and she grudgingly got dressed. The truth was, she was a little scared to find out what was wrong with her. What if she was dying? It certainly felt like it. Maybe she'd asked for too much. Maybe it was unreasonable for one person to be so happy, and this was the galaxy's way of bringing balance.

She wasn't much of a philosopher. But she was nervous sometime later as she waited in Dr. Xo's office for the test results.

The Mirialan woman finally opened the door and came in. She had a smile on her face, which was encouraging. Maybe not a death sentence; maybe something that could be cured with medicine or a procedure.

"Well, Phee, it wasn't too hard to get a diagnosis." She sat down in her chair and crossed her arms, still smiling. "Congratulations. You're pregnant."

It was so far from what she was expecting, it was hard to process the words. "Say that again?"

"You're about ten weeks along, right on schedule with the symptoms you're displaying. For a human, anyway."

"Well, doc, you better check your tests again, because that's impossible."

"You're recently married, right?"

"Yeah, but in case you haven't heard, I married a clone."

Dr. Xo nodded. "Oh yes, that's right. Tech. I remember you sitting by his side here in the infirmary for days."

"So? Shouldn't you do more tests?"

"I can if you want, but the results will be the same. You're indisputably, undeniably pregnant."

"But…how can that be?" Phee's head was spinning. Yeah, she'd missed her last cycle, but she figured it was the excitement of the wedding, and then the stress of the illness that had delayed it.

"Well," the doctor said, choosing her words carefully. "Unless there's someone else involved in the equation here…"

"What?" Then she realized what the doctor meant. "No. No! There's no one else. Of course there isn't."

"Well then," Dr Xo continued, "I guess your clone beat the odds."

"But…. it's not possible!"

"Look. The Kaminoans were brilliant scientists, and I'm sure they did a great job on their clones. But even science isn't perfect. Nature finds a way."

"What am I supposed to tell Tech?"

Dr. Xo leaned over and patted her arm. "You tell him the good news. Tell him he's going to be a father."

Phee's emotions roiled. And now she knew why. There was a little being inside of her stirring them up, turning her into a weepy mess. A little being she and Tech—impossibly—had made. She'd come into this office thinking of death, but instead there was life.

She walked home in a state of numb distraction. She didn't see anyone or anything but the path before her; didn't hear anything except the blood beating in her ears. A heartbeat that wasn't her own—or not just her own. She couldn't wrap her mind around it.

Dr. Xo had sent her home with some nutritional supplements and something to ease the nausea. She swallowed these with a cup of water, and lay down on the bed again, bone tired. Tech would be home soon as promised, to check on her. What would he say? What would he think? Would his data-driven mind accept the truth? She was more worried now than when she thought she was dying.

She dozed, then woke to his lips pressed to her temple.

"Phee?"

She stirred and turned to him. "Hey."

"What did the doctor say? You did go?"

"Yes. I went."

"Well?"

She sat up and took his hand. Nothing for it but to just say it, she thought. "Tech. I'm pregnant."

He just stared at her. After a long time, he said, "What?"

She squeezed his hand. "We're going to have a baby."

"That cannot be correct. It must be something else."

"Dr. Xo assured me. I'm one hundred percent pregnant."

He pulled his hand away from hers. "Since it is not possible for me to be the father," said, a strain in his voice, "I can only assume that someone else is." He stood and turned away. His hands balled into fists.

"Tech, you listen to me," she said, getting up and putting a hand on his shoulder. He flinched. She went around him to look him in the face. "I know that's what it might seem like to you, that that's the only thing that makes sense. But I swear to you. You're the only man I've been with. I mean, are you kidding me? We've made love every single day for months. When am I gonna slip another man in there? The idea is ridiculous. You're my husband. I love you. There's no one else. This is your child, impossible as it seems."

"It is impossible, Phee," he replied, the sadness in his eyes breaking her heart.

"Are you saying that I'm a liar? Worse than a liar." Anger was starting to seep in.

He put his hand to his forehead, closing his eyes. "I am saying it is impossible, Phee."

"Says who? The Kaminoans? I don't give a kriff about them. Or science, or data, or statistics. There's a child in me, and it's yours. Ours. Don't you care about that?" She reached for him, but he stepped back.

"No!" He put his hands to his head again, as if in pain.

"Oh, am I giving you a headache?" She was losing her temper, she knew she was, but she couldn't help it. She was so angry, so frustrated, so kriffing scared. He didn't believe her. He didn't believe her. Which meant he didn't love her enough to make the leap of faith required to believe her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm the one who who's pregnant, with a husband who accuses her of screwing some one else. But you go right ahead and feel sorry for yourself."

"Phee. Please." He squeezed his eyes shut.

She stopped, watching him. Maybe something really was wrong. "What is it? Tech?" She touched his arm, but he recoiled, as if stung.

"Do not touch me!"

"Am I that disgusting to you—"

"I have to go," he said, rushing to the door.

"Fine, you do that. Don't hurry back."

He left the house, slamming the door behind him. She sat down on the bed, trembling. And then she broke down and sobbed for a long time.

10.

He nearly ran out of their house. He had to get away. Before something terrible happened.

Phee's news—he couldn't even begin to wrap his mind around it—had triggered an anxiety so tremendous, it ripped open a hole where the Shadow escaped its tidy prison, deep inside his mind. And the Shadow—it wanted to hurt. It wanted to kill. He couldn't let that happen, if it took every iota of strength he had. He'd kill the Shadow first, even if it took him with it.

He stormed blindly ahead, holding his head, trying to keep the Shadow in. No, I will not let you, I will crush you, destroy you, kill you—

He slammed into something. It felt like a wall.

"Whoa, Tech!" It was Wrecker, holding him steady with his meaty hands. "Sorry, pal."

"Wrecker," he said desperately. "Get me away from here. Get me away from my house!"

"Wha-?"

"Hurry! Get me away from everyone. Now!"

Without another word, Wrecker picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. He ran down the beach, huffing and puffing, until they got to an isolated spot where there weren't many people.

Finally, Wrecker set him down in the sand, bending over with hands on knees, panting. "What….what's happening, Tech?"

Tech kneeled in the sand, trying to breathe deeply and get control of the panic attacking his entire being. He was glad he ran into Wrecker; if the Shadow escaped, Wrecker at least had a chance. A slim one, but a chance. The Shadow, even without weapons, was lethal. The Shadow was a weapon. It could snap necks. Smash heads. Break spines. Coldly, efficiently, without remorse.

Several minutes passed, with only the sound of the surf, and his ragged breathing. He was aware of Wrecker, watching him.

Finally, after several more agonizing minutes, he wrangled the Shadow back into its box, tightening the mental locks he'd put around it. His breathing calmed. He looked up.

Wrecker was staring at him in confusion. "What the kriff just happened, Tech?"

"Nothing. Just….just a little anxiety, that is all."

"A little?" Wrecker's eyes were round with disbelief.

"All right. It was a bad episode. But I am fine now." That was far from the truth. But he was trying to convince himself as well as Wrecker.

"You sure? You know I'm afraid of nothin'—except heights, ha—but that scared me, Tech."

Tech ran a hand through his hair, trying to get himself together. "Well, I am fine now. Thank you, Wrecker. What were you doing down here, anyway?" The sooner he changed the subject, the better.

"Uh, well, Echo said he's leaving tonight on a mission. Something about Imperial intel that needs decryption. He wanted you know if you'd go with him and help him out."

"Oh."

"You want me to go give him an answer?"

He hesitated. "Tell him….yes. I will help." Maybe it would be a good time to leave for a while. His wife was furious with him right now. And if the Shadow was clawing at him, it was best to be away.

"All right," Wrecker said. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes. I think I will take a swim to clear my head."

"Okay." Wrecker looked worried, but he rose and walked back up the beach. He looked back. "Don't go drowning on me."

"Tell Echo I will be there at sunset. And Wrecker—I would appreciate it if you would not mention this to anyone. It is, well, a little embarrassing."

"Uh, all right."

When Wrecker was gone, he stood on still-wobbly legs and contemplated the sea. It looked calm at this time of day, but he knew there was violence beneath its serene surface. He took off his shirt and his boots and placed his glasses on top of the shirt.

He waded out. The water was cool and got colder the farther he went. When the water was up to his waist he dove under and swam, arm over arm, until his limbs ached.

He stopped and looked back. He was far out, the village small against the horizon, and a bit blurry without his glasses, as if it was a dream, a mirage. He treaded water, then went onto his back and floated, looking up at the sky. Small, high clouds scudded across the perfect blue.

It would be so easy just to sink. Just let go and fall quietly into the depths. Let the cold and the dark of the sea embrace him. Fall, like he had on Eriadu, but more slowly, gently, although with the same level of intent: to protect those he loved.

Phee's face floated before him. Stars, how he loved her. And now there was someone else: the little stranger inside her. He believed her when she'd said there was no one else. Of course he did. However it had happened, they had made something together, against all odds. A life. And they both needed him now.

He slowly made his way back to the beach and dragged himself out of the water. He was tired, but his head was clear now. He had to go back home and make things right with his wife.

11.

When she got tired of crying, she blew her nose and dried her eyes. Get yourself together, Phee. Her heart was breaking into a million pieces, but that didn't mean she could fall apart. After all, she had a baby to think about.

Her baby. Tech may reject it, refuse to acknowledge it, but she wouldn't. Already, she was feeling protective toward it, as much as it was making her suffer. It wasn't his fault. Or her fault.

Fine. She would take her baby and make a life for them somewhere else. She couldn't bear to be near Tech if he didn't want them. She'd rather be light years away. But where? She wiped her nose again and thought. Maybe it was time to make things right with Xander. Maybe it was time to go to Batuu and see her brother again. Besides, who else did she have?

"Father would be ashamed of you, Phee," Xander had accused the last time she'd seen him on Batuu. Seven years ago now. "Treasure-hunting. It's little more than piracy."

"Father would be proud," she'd insisted. "He'd probably want to go with me, as a matter of fact." Their father had been a professor of archeology; Phee had inherited his fascination with ancient objects.

"He'd no doubt be interested in the pieces you find on your travels. But he certainly wouldn't approve of your methods of acquiring them. It's stealing, Phee. Have you no morals? No integrity?"

Xander and his morals. He was much like their mother, who'd been a member of the Church of the Force. Their father had respected her religion out of love, but he'd very much remained a man of science; Phee had an intellectual interest but had been more enamored of the idea of Force objects, which, unfortunately, she'd never come across. Yet.

But Xander had inherited their mother's faith with a zeal Phee did not share. He studied the religion and became a priest of the cult; he'd gone to Batuu to build and lead a mission there, in the hopes of influencing the seedy, wayward types that frequented the planet. Yeah, good luck with that, she'd thought.

"I understand your interest in the objects, Phee, just not how you go about getting them. You could have become a teacher, like father, and sought out these objects on legitimate archeological explorations."

"And have them end up in a museum for all to see, right?" she'd retorted. "Why should I do that when I can sell them and make more money than father ever did on his salary?"

He'd looked at her with condescending pity. "Your love of credits pushes you far from the living Force, Phee."

"You seem to forget that without the credits I earned, we would have starved after our parents died in that fire. That was the living force that kept us alive, Xander. We ran out of credits long before either of us finished our studies. I had to step up, so you could follow your spiritual aspirations. And what do I get in return? Derision and disapproval."

"Stay here with me, Phee," he'd urged, perhaps worried about her eternal soul. "Help me build the mission and lead these people to a better life."

She couldn't think of a worse fate for herself. "I think I'll take my chances out there. And it'll be a lot more fun."

He'd looked truly upset, so she softened her tone. "Look, Xander. This isn't where I belong. You're good at what you do, and I'm good at what I do. Let's leave it at that, okay?"

His eyes were sad as he regarded her. "Then may the Force ever be with you, sister."

"Yeah, well, you too."

Sanctimonious prig.

And now she had to crawl back to him for help, with a baby in her belly, no less, because where the hell else was she supposed to go? She had to swallow her pride, her tears, and put the baby first. She'd admit to Xander she was wrong (even though she didn't mean it), go to his prayer meetings, learn the litanies, whatever she had to do; at least until she figured out what was next.

She went to the closet and took out a small bag she kept for treasure-hunting trips. She didn't need much, just a few essentials. Some clothes, a toothbrush, a datapad, the supplements Dr. Xo had given her. Her blaster. She'd have to leave behind the special treasures she'd put in their common room, the ones that hadn't been worth much but she liked. Tech could have them. Let them remind him of her, what he'd lost. If he cared.

She furiously fought back the tears, stuffing clothes into the bag. She couldn't say goodbye to anyone, she just had to go quickly, or she'd lose her nerve. That made her sad, especially concerning Omega. She loved the girl. Let Tech explain it. She hated the idea of them blaming her, of them believing she'd…. never mind. It didn't matter. Only the baby mattered now.

She was still packing the bag, taking a few things out, then putting them back in, when Tech returned. She'd hoped not to have to see him again before she left, for fear of changing her mind. She had to do this. She had to. She didn't look at him as he entered the bedroom.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.

"What's it look like? I'm packing."

He was silent and just watched her. She glanced at him. His hair looked wet, and his pants, too. Had he been swimming? Well, isn't that nice. He'd been frolicking in the water while she'd been mourning the loss of the life she'd built here.

"There something you want to say?" she said, aggressively packing.

"Echo has come back. There is a mission that requires my skills at decryption. He leaves tonight. I will be going with him."

"Well, isn't that a coincidence. You'll be going with your brother, and I'll be going to mine."

"What do you mean? I did not know you had a brother."

"Yeah, well, there's a lot of things you don't know about me. Looks like you never will, now."

"Phee, are you…leaving the planet?"

He must have thought she was just moving out of the house. Ha. As if she wouldn't make him move out. "Batuu. Nice and far away, so you don't have to see us anytime soon." She made sure to emphasize the us.

"But…Phee…. we just got married. Are you just going to run away?"

That struck a nerve, but she didn't want to admit it. She threw down her bag. "What am I supposed to do, Tech? You don't want us." And though she hated herself for it, the tears threatened to spill again. She sat on the bed and put her face in her hands, so he wouldn't see it scrunching up.

He knelt and put a hand on her knee. "I never said that."

"You didn't have to," she whispered, angrily wiping her eyes.

"I…. had a very bad moment," he said. 'I am sorry, Phee. The news was hard to process, and I acted poorly. But please…. please do not leave." He took her hands and kissed them. "I would not do very well without you."

She softened. Just a little. "And the baby?" What he said next determined everything.

He looked up at her with a little smile, and he reached out a hand to touch her belly. "When I disbelieved you at first, it was not a judgment on your character. Never that. Rather, it was a judgment on my own."

"What do you mean?"

"I did not think the child could be mine because—on top of its apparent improbability—I did not think I deserved such a gift."

All her anger, her resentment, drained away. "Why would you think that?"

He looked away, his face pinched with pain.

"Because of what happened on Tantiss?" she asked. "Because of him?" She wouldn't say Hemlock's name; as it was, Tech closed his eyes and sighed.

"You listen to me," she said, turning his face back to her. "That is not who you are. I know treasure when I see it. Do you hear me? I know who you are. And it's not that—thing—he tried to turn you into. He failed. You are my husband, and you are the father of this child, and we're going to be happy, and no one is ever going to take that away from us." All thoughts of going to Batuu evaporated.

She held his face in her hands as she spoke, and he looked up at her, absorbing her words.

"Understood?" she asked.

"I love you, Phee," he answered, his beautiful brown eyes gazing up at her.

She bent and kissed him, and then pulled him onto the bed with her. They made love in the late afternoon sun, slowly—probably because he was now afraid of "hurting" the baby. She had kicked the bag she'd been packing onto the floor.

Afterward she held him against her, and he caressed her belly, puzzling out this new thing between them.

"I don't want you to go on the mission," she said. "I won't stop you, but-it's just that the last time you left on a mission, you didn't come back."

He raised himself up on an elbow. "This is very different than that," he said. "It is a straightforward intelligence mission. We should be in and out without any problems."

"Where have I heard that before?"

"Tell you what," he said, running a finger across her arm. "I promise to come back, if you promise to be here when I do."

"I hate Batuu, anyway," she said. She smiled mischievously. "Full of pirates."

"Will you tell me about your brother?"

"When you come back," she said, and kissed him.

12.

They strolled to dinner that evening, a little late but before the meal was over. Everyone was still there, even Omega, who often ran off with Lyana as soon as she could.

"Tech," Echo said, "Wrecker tells me you're on board with the mission. That's great news. I could really use you."

"Do you have any details on it?" he asked as he sat down with Phee.

"We're meeting a group of clones Riyo is sending to the Berenge system—"

"Riyo?" Phee asked.

Echo cleared his throat awkwardly. "Oh, um, Senator Chuchi, that is. She took it upon herself to speak for the clones in the Senate, and now helps in any way she can. Anyway, the clone reinforcements will help us infiltrate the administrative building on its primary moon and extract data on the Empire's prison systems. Even though Tantiss was destroyed, there are still many clones being held in various prisons across the galaxy. Essentially, they got stuck in these prisons before they could be transferred. We want to find them and liberate them. But the intel is heavily encrypted and needs to be decoded on sight. It would have to be done quickly. That's you, Tech."

"Sounds easy enough," Tech commented, glancing at Phee. She gave him a tight smile and squeezed his hand beneath the table.

Shep was going around refilling cups of wine. When he got to Phee's cup, she put her hand over it.

"No thanks, Shep. I'll have water."

He looked at her with concern. "Are you still feeling ill? I meant to ask you if you've seen the doctor."

Phee hesitated. "Yes, I saw her." She and Tech exchanged glances, unable to keep the lopsided grins from their faces.

"What's going on with you two?" Hunter asked, narrowing his eyes. Hunter could sense seismic changes around him; Tech mused that this was certainly seismic in nature.

He looked at his wife, the question in his eyes. She nodded, though she looked nervous. He took a breath and looked around the table.

"Phee and I are….expecting."

"Expecting what?" Wrecker asked around a mouthful of food.

"A child, Wrecker. We are expecting a child."

"From where?" Wrecker persisted, still not understanding.

Tech sighed. "From Phee, Wrecker. She is pregnant."

Stunned silence. And then a cacophony of sound, of exclamations, of questions.

"What?" Echo.

"How can that be?" Hunter.

"That's wonderful!" Shep.

"Huh?" Wrecker.

"A child? You mean a baby?" Omega, clapping her hands.

Tech held up a hand, and they all quieted, staring at him and Phee in various degrees of disbelief. "I understand this is surprising news. I was….quite surprised myself." Phee raised an eyebrow at him. "More than surprised. I do not blame you for wondering how this could have come about, since clones are not supposed to be able to have children. And yet, it has happened. I would ask you not to doubt or question any aspect of this circumstance, since I have no answer except that it simply is. And it is something we are quite happy about." Phee squeezed his hand again, and he squeezed hers back.

"Well," Hunter said, breaking the silence that followed. "Then we're happy, too, Tech. Congratulations to both of you." He smiled, an easy, genuine smile that made Tech relax.

"This is wonderful news," Shep said, bending over and hugging Phee.

"A baby!" Omega said again, her smile only growing wider. "That's so exciting!"

"Whoa," Wrecker said, his fork suspended halfway to his mouth.

The excited chatter went on, but Echo, next to Tech, leaned over. "You sure you want to go on this mission?"

"You are my brother, Echo. You need my help." He glanced at Phee, who was still talking to Shep. "Besides, it seems fairly straightforward. In and out, like you said."

"If you're sure," Echo said, a little doubtfully.

"I am." But looking at Phee, knowing their child grew inside her, he wondered.

13.

Phee and Tech walked to the landing pad hand in hand later that evening. As they drew closer, she grew more anxious with every step.

Tech sensed it and squeezed her hand. "It will be all right. I promise. Crosshair is going, too, see? We will be fine."

She noticed Toothpick leaning against a column near Echo's ship, waiting for the others to arrive. She was glad he was going; like all of them, he was uniquely capable of surviving in the worst of circumstances. She'd seen him in action on Tantiss; there was no doubt their odds of survival just went up exponentially.

Still, she had a bad feeling. Maybe it was just remembering the last time they'd parted before a mission, and then learning he was dead. Maybe it was the baby making her emotional. Maybe she would never get used to this and would always experience a deadly fear when he left.

"Tech," she said, suddenly clutching him. "Let this be the last time you go on a mission. Please."

"All right," he said, holding her, touching her belly. "No more missions after this. I will become a respectable village elder, making sure the toilets work and the lights come on."

She crossed her arms and gave him a look. "I'm serious."

"So am I." She probably would have cried again for the millionth time that day, but Omega came running along the landing pad.

"Tech! Crosshair!" Echo trailed her and said something about getting going before striding up the ramp. Omega chattered to Tech and then turned to Crosshair and hugged him. All Phee knew is that they must have had a strong bonding experience on Tantiss, because no one hugged Crosshair and got away with it, except Omega.

"I must go," Tech said. He kissed her forehead and she clung to him just a minute longer, before he turned and followed Echo and Crosshair onto the ship.

Omega went to her side and Phee held her tightly, watching the ship lift off and disappear into the night sky, until it was just another twinkling light among the stars.

She lifted her hand and pointed to it with a finger. Within that light, was her star.

Her home.