Chris patted her face dry with one of the towels that Luca—ever the perfect host—had provided for his guests. Only partially refreshed by the cool rinse, she gradually lowered the soft material, meeting her reflection in the mirror.

Stop hiding.

This was not the same person who'd stared back at Chris from her own mirror earlier in the morning. She'd swore to leave 'jittery Chris' home and spend the whole day soaking up the sun and her friend's good vibes.

Once among her people—not just her SWAT family, but also her cousin Thomas and his fiancée—everything should have been perfect, but... The ideal fall-in-California weather had still let unexpected pangs of cold penetrate Chris's bones. Among the heavenly food available—always trust Luca on that—nothing had managed to quell the churning in her stomach. And the joyful atmosphere had turned almost suffocating.

Hence, she was hiding in his friend's restroom, seeking relief in some alone time.

But it wasn't working.

'Righteous Chris' in the mirror knew why. The breather against overwhelm wasn't working because what scared her into hiding came from within herself, not from something or someone out there. Not entirely.

And there was when 'jealous Chris' made an appearance, battling with 'unsatisfied Chris' for the lead of her mood. They'd been at it for quite some time now, well before the TLI competition started, and Erika was the only one to whom she'd confided the struggle. But her friend couldn't be here. Her life had been cut short, while all Chris's other friends out there were now thriving, leaving all weights behind.

And Chris stood in the middle. Stuck. Would she soon be one of those discarded weights?

Every 20-David seemed to know what—or who—they wanted but her. And if she couldn't even admit her goal to herself, how could she achieve it?

Knock it off. Stand by the choice you made. Straightening her Rolling Stones gray t-shirt over her skinny jeans, 'resolute Chris' left the restroom, met in the corridor by an almost reverential silence.

Just then, reality clashed over the renewed confidence as Chris spotted the woman standing by the sink, gaze lost out the window where the idyllic scene of the gathering played out.

Chris had made a point of not stalking Zee the previous weeks, leaving the dirty job to Luca and Tan, and had tried not to stare at her too blatantly all day, but now, she took the opportunity to properly study Zee, hoping to finally put her fingers on what triggered her gut instinct.

No more than a couple years short of Chris's age and a handful of inches taller—but still shorter than Street—their similarities ended there. Where Chris's skin gave away her Latino heritage, Zee's had an almost ethereal pallor to it, making her green eyes pop and contrast even more with the earthy tones of Chris's irises. And while Chris opted for a practical haircut to tame her dark straight strands, Zee's auburn hair cascaded in gentle waves over her shoulders, a few wild strands not affecting her natural elegance.

With a slim body, though not as toned as Chris's, Zee also chose a look as far as what Chris would wear. A saffron-yellow long-sleeved dress gathered at her waist and fell down until mid-thigh-high, where russet-colored leggings wrapped her legs, ending in cowgirl boots.

All in all, Zee was drop-dead gorgeous, and it was painstakingly difficult for Chris to admit how much she actually liked her despite that gut feeling that wouldn't quiet down. And not just for her looks. And if in another life she might have even had a crush on her; in another world, they could have been good friends.

The charming aura the woman projected had eventually conquered everyone, from the already star-stricken Bonnie to the guarded Buck. Her witty, spot-on jabs had put Luca, Tan, and even Stevens at their place more than once, forcing Chris to crack a smile in spite of herself, and as hard as she'd tried to detect traces of fame-induced arrogance or superiority, she'd miserably failed. Zee was as down-to-earth and genuine as the woman next door while being undoubtedly gifted.

But still, Chris's gut prevented her from trusting that woman fully…

The way Street couldn't take his eyes off her, how he raced at every insignificant sign she might need something, how he always tried to outdo himself to predict her heart's desires stroke Chris as over the top. Not just puppy-love over the top, but something else she couldn't name.

Not to count the multiple times lately Street had cut it barely in time for work or the dark shadows settled under his eyes until he'd had his second cup of coffee at the HQ when they had the early shift.

Of course, there were harmless and fun ways Zee could keep Street awake at night, but Chris refused to think about those. It was easier, in a way, to attribute the lack of sleep and the over-the-top care to insecurity. Yes, Street could seem arrogant and confident, but underneath the surface, he struggled with abandonment issues. How could he not with the childhood he had? How could he not when the first adult love of his life had trashed his heart once already? How could he not fear she would do it again.

And now Chris was just projecting her own insecurities and abandonment issues. Not what she wanted or needed. At all.

But Zee was just too perfect. No one could be that perfect, right? And that kept Chris's scum radar close to going off.

"You know, Chris," Zee said without turning from the courtyard's view, "among Jim's teammates, you were the one I was most scared and impatient to get to know."

From hunter to pray. Ignoring the feeling, Chris took a deep breath. Zee had given her an opening to probe into her intentions, but she needed to tread carefully. Street's reaction to her visit to Karen at the hospital behind his back was still raw, and another faux pas could easily be the final nail in the coffin of their priceless friendship.

"I'm not as intimidating as the guys tend to paint me," Chris put out. Frankly, though? She'd not been all that friendly today either. And even more honestly, the eager but nervous feelings about meeting each other were mutual.

"I know." Zee nodded. "Jim has told me a lot about you."

They both automatically glanced outside the window and searched the fancied-in courtyard, where Street—aided by Duke—was keeping the kids entertained. His eyes twinkled when, for a mere second, he caught Zee looking at him.

It appeared that though Street was in Chris's line of sight, she wasn't in his. Or maybe he simply only had eyes for his porcelain-doll girlfriend, as he seemed to view Zee.

"I'm afraid he hasn't reserved the same consideration to me about you," Chris bit out without thinking as Zee turned her face to her and their eyes met again.

Why did it sting so much? She traced back to the millions of private conversations she'd had with her best friend over the years and wondered how much of them he'd gossiped about with his new girlfriend. But he couldn't have betrayed her like that.

"And I'm afraid that's all my fault."

Chris wanted to believe it and put it entirely on Zee, but something told her Street had kept the secrecy on his own free will.

"I know how protective of your family you are. And there's little I appreciate more than that, believe me."

Respect dripped from Zee's tone, so Chris decided to play fair and be direct. "And do I have to protect Street from you? Before you hurt him again?"

Finally, Zee fully turned from the window, her expression pained. Water rippled in the glass she was holding in one hand while the other closed in a loose fist. "Back then, I was a girl falling in love with a boy. Jim was everything I could dream of. Sexy but sweet, deep but fun, mysterious and troubled but also open and cheeky." A smile stretched Zee's lips, her green eyes twinkling, countering the pallor of her skin. "Despite his better efforts to hide it, I saw his golden heart from the first second. That's the one thing that didn't change. But Jim…"

Even as the image of barely-out-of-his-teens Street popped into her mind—more carefree but not so different from the young man Buck had thrown into the SWAT arena a few years back—Zee's non-response rubbed Chris the wrong way. Her annoying gut, though, this time pleaded with her to be patient and play along and let the woman talk.

"He's grown a lot. And so have I. Now we're a woman and a man falling in love again. He's even more handsome now, more mature in features and character. He's still sweet and deep while also still haunted and dark at times. He is the complete package. And I know that he can be difficult to handle with care, but he's… He has so much to give. Much more than he let see at first glance. But I'm sure you know all this even better than I do."

Zee opening her fist and revealing what she was clutching in it caused chills to shoot up Chris's spine before she could utter a word at the woman's statement. Was she for real? After what Street went through with his addict mother?

"It's not drugs." Zee shamelessly chased the two tablets down with a gulp of water before producing a small container.

Chris took it from her out of reflex, immediately checking the prescription details stamped on it.

"Well, technically it is," Zee continued, her tone low. "Just not the recreational or addictive kind."

Alarms blared in Chris's brain for a completely different reason than she anticipated, making it difficult to discern useful information from concerned guesses. She'd observed the woman all day with her detective eyes, and yet, this was totally unexpected.

"I've been watching you watching me all morning," Zee continued. "Noticed you doing your best to uncover every flaw I have."

Chris pursed her lips. She didn't feel sorry for it, but maybe a little, little ashamed…Or just disappointed in herself for not being more subtle.

"It's okay, I'm actually grateful for how protective you are of Jim."

Over-protective? If anything, Street was being so of Zee. The way his eyes darted every now and then toward the inside of his home, momentarily diverting his attention from the kids just to steal a glimpse of that woman… How his slight frown would automatically morph into his signature dimpled smile just for her…

And to think there was a time Chris had that effect on him…

"Because I guess I'm about to give you a reason to despise me after all."

That got Chris's full attention. She swallowed, eyes automatically narrowing.

"If you have a moment for me," Zee continued, propping her hip on the kitchen counter as if she needed the stability. "To talk woman to woman."

It appeared it wasn't that hard to make the woman disclose the truth after all. In all probability, she even ambushed Chris outside the restroom. At the confirmation of her previous suspicion, Chris's attack-before-you're-attacked standard reaction came out effortlessly.

"Does Street know? About whatever this is." She gave back the legitimate-looking pills container—useless to her as the drug name didn't ring a bell. "What does he have that you need?"

Zee dried off the leftover water and put the glass on the counter. "I kept things from Jim in the past. Secretes that did us part. But now he knows everything. I had been honest with him from the first day we got reacquainted, and I know he did the same."

Chris's stomach gave a painful cramp that had less to do with not believing the other woman's words and more with sharp jealousy for all the secrets Street—her former best friend—currently kept with her.

"If you allow me to, Chris, I'll tell you everything he knows, but I need the promise you'll keep this between us."

Chris shook her head. "I'm not making any promises before I hear the whole story." Because she didn't want any part in this mess. Although she needed to know… Right this instant. And if this woman was hurting Street, there was no way she would keep quiet. To him, to their friends, to anyone who can change things and save Street from Zee and from himself.

"Fair enough," Zee conceded after a brief, tense silence. "I'm gonna trust, then, that you'll do the right thing after I explain my reasons."

Just then, giggles sounded from the fancied courtyard, interrupting their confrontation. It seemed like another world out there. Chris was used to Luca's parties, but Jamie's—and Zee's—presence seemed to have taken this one to another level.

"Sometimes I wish I could still be like that. Carefree. Oblivious to how precarious life is." Zee stared at her daughter with adoration in her eyes, almost calm and composed despite the chilly atmosphere inside. Lurking in her gaze, though, there was something darker.

Chirs's eyes shifted from the infuriating mother in front of her to the endearing child out there and all her new friends. No one knew the dangers of the world for a girl turning into a woman more than Chris.

Just like Zee, Chris envied those kids' innocence. She'd lost hers much too soon. Jamie was not estranged from pain since she'd lost her dad too young, and Lila and the other Kay's children had already been exposed to the ugliness and dangers of their father's job, but still, they could play and laugh and live like Chris hadn't been able to in a lifetime, if ever.

"I just wish my precious girl could be like this forever," Zee said in a soft voice, claiming Chris's attention again. "Her happiness is all that counts for me."

Taking a better look at her interlocutor, Chris noticed clammy skin, eyes moist more than shiny, and a faint blue tinge under the faded lip gloss.

It all clicked then, and her stomach turned to lead. "Does she know you're sick?"

Zee's lips trembled before forming a weak smile. "No. Not yet. I mean, she's a perceptive little creature, and I hate deceiving her, even for her own good, but since I still manage to keep my symptoms under control, I'm not obliterating her innocence sooner than strictly necessary."

So it was bad. Chris's gut twisted.

"When the time's right," Zee looked Chris straight in the eye, "she's gonna hear it from me. I owe her that much. I'm taking a risk here telling you because the more people know, the higher the risk of her over-hearing something she's not meant to. And I just need a little more time."

An hour ago, this would have felt like emotional blackmail to Chris—Zee using her daughter as an excuse to force her to keep the secret, lying and whatnot—but surprisingly, now it didn't. No, this woman was light-years away from Karen Street's plane of existence. Or at least this was what Chris's treacherous gut was telling her.

"But as I said, you'll take your decision when I'm done."

"I'm listening." Without judging, Chris added to herself, needing the reminder to remain impartial.

"I have a rare congenital heart condition." Zee took a hand to the center of her chest while her eyes shot out the window, and a relieved smile stretched her lips. "Not hereditary, thank goodness. Jamie is the picture of health."

A powerful wave of relief cursed through Chris's veins. No child deserves their heart to be a ticking bomb. Especially this child, who had won Chris over faster than a German Shepherd puppy pleading to train with her. And they'd barely interacted all day.

"It was silent for years," Zee continued, her attention back inside. "The doctors were baffled it got undiagnosed until I was twenty-one, but that's what happened." She shrugged.

Chris rapidly did the math. The conversation Luca had eavesdropped on must have been about Zee's diagnosis, not a pregnancy test.

"My only option was a risky open-heart surgery." Zee waited a beat before continuing, not shying away from Chris's gaze as she made her deduction. She nodded. "That's when I left Jim. It all happened so fast. One minute I had everything within reach. A young man who intrigued and inspired me, a kind and complex and deep soul that doted on me. A promising shot at the career I'd always aspired to… In short, a dream coming true. But the next moment…" She shook her head, a single tear glinting at the corner of her eye. "I wasn't even all that concerned when I started to feel faint and weak. I thought that maybe working extra hours at the diner to make enough money to produce a demo while spending every free minute in Jim's company was catching up with couch-potato me. That my heart was legitimately bursting with joy. How naive could I be?"

In a way, it was difficult for Chris to focus on Zee's story, as wrapped up as she was imagining young Street in his natural habitat. In another, she could picture herself in the other woman's shoes, fighting to make her dream come true.

"My world shattered at the diagnosis. My heart was literally at risk of breaking. I thought I would die or that I would have needed constant care for a painful few years before my body ultimately betrayed me. I couldn't, couldn't put the love of my life through that misery. Jim was so young and hopeful despite everything he'd been through in his childhood. He was finally starting a meaningful path toward a noble scope that would have brought him the purpose and the family he never had. And despite knowing him for about three months only, I knew he would have dropped all that, his bright future, to care for me."

Yes, Street would have done that, Chris conceded. Blind loyalty was his fatal character flaw after all. And maybe leaving was the best thing Zee had ever done for Street, but still, she'd deprived him of the right to choose.

"I can't help but notice the surgery exceeded your expectations," Chris bit out with more venom than intended. After all, she was standing in front of her right now, ten years later with a daughter in tow. "Why didn't you come back for him when you recovered?"

Zee took a deep breath. "Leaving Jim was one of the most difficult things I had to do in my life, and I often thought about the missed possibilities… What if I'd stayed and asked him to fight with me? What if I'd gone back to him once the immediate threat was over? What if… What if… I could go on all day. But the truth is, I don't regret it."

So, was Chris's gut right about this woman's bad intentions or not? Her mind reeled.

"Of course, I mourn the lost time with him, but the spark in his eyes every time he speaks about his job—" Zee glanced out the window, and right on cue, Street glanced inside and smiled at her. "The light he practically emits when he talks about you all… I know I made the right choice because he wouldn't have had all this."

Okay, but what about the shine that takes over his face when he looks at you? Chris refrained herself from asking, too preoccupied on shutting down the pang to her chest.

"And I wouldn't have had Jamie Lee," Zee continued, her eyes shifting in search of her daughter out in the yard. "But back to the more practical reason I never went back to Jim despite I never really stopped loving him… The thing is that by the time I felt out of the woods after my surgery, I had met Dillon, a man, a doctor, who knew how to handle me and my condition." Her expressive gaze turned wistful. She must have cared for this man a great deal too. "I fought tooth and nail falling in love with him, but it happened anyway. Despite my fears for the future and the baggage of my past. And he came to love me and my flawed body. And quite frankly, a part of me hoped Jim had moved on and was living his happily ever after, while another part was simply terrified by the possibility he would reject me after the way I treated him. Going back was too great a risk of ruining both our lives."

Chris understood both that desire and that fear. More than she was willing to admit.

And selfishly? Though hard it was to imagine young Street in pieces after yet another person he trusted and who was supposed to unconditionally love and support him simply let him down and walked away, Chris was grateful Zee'd left him. If she'd stayed or asked him to move away with her, Chris wouldn't have met him, her best friend despite the circumstances. Or at least she hoped he would still be.

She followed Zee's gaze out toward the two loves of her lives, as the woman called Street and Jamie. He'd always been good with kids, Deacon's, his neighbors, and the most unfortunate they met on the job. But with his girlfriend's daughter, he was… The two were a natural fit. Those chestnut braids, the little dimples blessing the girl's tooth-gaped smile… No one could blame Luca for his misassumption. Chris's heart gave a powerful squeeze as she imagined how different Street's life would have been if Zee had not dumped him mercilessly mere months after they fell in love. What could have been if that girl was indeed the fruit of their love.

Street would have everything by now. The life Chris herself one day wanted and that she could never have with him.

"You made a choice for him, a choice he deserved to make for himself," Chris surprised herself saying aloud.

But she regretted it because she would swear Zee's eyes were calling her on her hypocrisy. But she had no right to. The situation Chris had going on with Street was different. Wasn't it?

"What I was trying to say," Zee continued, having the grace of letting Chris judge herself instead of condemning her in first person, "is that I'm living on borrowed time. That first surgery gave me back my life, a normal life, and should have patched my problem for a bit longer than this. Years longer. But then a miracle upended everything."

Chris's eyebrows scrunched together as she watched Zee's eyes searching for her daughter again.

"I'm not gonna call my little miracle an accident, but Jamie had sure not been planned." Zee turned to face Chris again, a hand on her belly. "In my condition, giving birth was close to a suicide mission. The pregnancy was high risk for both me and her. But I couldn't, couldn't just let her go once I knew she'd been so stubborn already to lodge inside me despite our careful precautions." She shook her head lightly. "After almost eight months stuck in bed, a C-section scar left on my body, and a week in ICU, I could hold that fierce little creature in my arms. And I never ever doubted my choice. Although, of course, it weakened my heart even more."

Chris swallowed, trying to loosen up her tight, dry throat. Did this mean Zee basically gave her life for her daughter? Did she mean…

. . .

Zee saw the moment it clicked in Chris's mind. How serious her condition was. How final the diagnosis. How close she was to the end.

Despite how guarded Chris was with her inner world, those honey-brown eyes were the epitome of eloquence, just like Jim's hazel whimsical ones. Zee could read them both, so maybe she could win Chris's trust like she did Jim's?

Zee needed that. She couldn't even explain how vital it was to her for Chris to be ready to support Jim when the moment came. When Zee's heart would break, tearing out a piece of Jim's in the process.

But in order to ensure that, Chris must understand. And if Zee had actually read her right, the strong-willed, courageous woman standing before her now needed a heads-up to overcome the inevitable betrayal she would feel for the secrecy and needed time to digest it all.

This whole mess was on Zee. Her secret. Her weight to carry. The only thing she could do was to use the truth to unravel the bundle and hope the feelings Chris and Jim shared would be enough to save his soul.

Because he deserved to be protected. Saved. He deserved his happily-ever-after.

And yet, it wasn't just for the man she loved Zee was doing this. Somehow she needed Chris to not just understand the situation, not just forgive Jim and be there for him, but also to understand her.

Maybe even to forgive her…

Could Zee achieve that? Would she be able to explain this chaos of emotions, circumstances, and forced choices?

. . .