The next day the stupid nerd shows up to class.
Katsuki takes one look at him and knows the wounds have yet to completely heal. His shoulders are too tense. His face too pale. His walk slightly off. Even his smile looks a little to tight.
He should be back in the infirmary or even in his All Might sanctuary of a dorm room resting, but no... the idiot is here. Smiling and saying good morning to their classmates like his entire world wasn't changed in the blink of an eye last night.
Katsuki still wants to punch him.
Actually, he really wants to set off an explosion right in the stupid idiot's face, but Kirishima had said he couldn't go a week without exploding someone outside of battle situations, and damn if he didn't want to prove him wrong.
So, for now... he wanted to punch this nerd.
Their classmates congratulate Deku for the villain capture last night.
That's the other thing. They all seem to know about what happened last night. They all somehow knew that both Deku and him had been hit by the fucker's red glitter beam of nightmares.
None of them ask Deku about his back. A few of them eye the bandages peaking out above his shirt collar, but none ask. Katsuki takes this as a blessing, because he is not prepared to watch Deku fumble his way through some sort of answer this early in the morning.
"Good Morning Kacchan!"
He grunts.
The nerd takes his seat. He swears he can hear the other boy hiss out in pain. Today's going to be a long fucking day.
--
Deku has apparently been banned from any strenuous activities for the day.
Katsuki considers this a blessing.
Katsuki was not banned from strenuous activities for the day.
Katsuki also considered this a blessing because fuck did he really need to blow somethings (and or people) up.
This also meant that Deku didn't have to change in the locker room today. Another fucking blessing. He wasn't really sure how the others were going to react to the site of Deku's back but... it was going to be pretty that much he was sure.
But that also meant that he did have to change in the locker room, which you know usually isn't a problem because you know, usually everybody wasn't fucking staring at him waiting for him to take his fucking shirt off.
He considers finding a more private area, but immediately trashes that idea. He's never been a wuss and he sure as hell isn't going to start now. He rips off his clothes not caring about the eyes watching his every move. Not caring about the few gasps he hears.
He doesn't fucking care. He's just going to focus on changing.
"You know," Stupid Annoying Grape pipes up. "It sure is weird the Midoriya isn't allowed to participate today."
There's silence for a few seconds before glasses agrees and looks towards Katsuki. Fuck.
"Did Midoriya get hurt any other way last night? I know you both got hit by the villain's quirk but-"
"Yea," Diaper Grape interrupts. "I mean does Midoriya even have any scars. He's always so happy. What kind burdens could he have? I bet he's just faking an injury or something."
Katsuki slams his locker shut. He can feel the heat in his hands. He glares at the two of them and then storms his way out of the locker room. He needs to blow something up. Particularly, something grape like.
"Hey! Bakubro wait up!"
He slows down enough to let Shitty Hair catch up. "What?"
Kirishima laughs and gives him a nervous smile. "Well it's just that uh-"
Fuck, now he looks sad.
"... it's just uh."
Kirishima gestures to his back.
FUUUUCK. Not now. He can't do this now.
"It's just... who told you that you're not good enough?"
The shark toothed punk sounds both angry and upset, and honestly if there was anyone he'd be willing to have this chat with it would be Kirishima (and maybe Deku), but he can't right now. He only has so many emotions he can deal with in a day and right now his plan involves using them later.
So, he just can't right now. He needs them for later.
He doesn't want to leave Kirishima hanging though. He doesn't want to lie either. He decides to answer with the simplified truth.
"I did."
And now to quickly make his way to the training field. He knows Kirishima will want to talk about this later... hopefully way, way later... but for now... for now he needs to go blow up a fucking grape.
--
"Uh Kacchan?"
He looks up to see Deku standing uncertainly in his door way.
"I uh... I got your note... at least I think it's from you?"
The nerd holds up a piece of paper. The edges are slightly burnt, but the words are still visible. Shitty Nerd come to my room at 9pm. If you don't, I'll hunt you down myself.
Short, sweet, to the point. Just as Katsuki liked it.
"Yea, that was me. Come in, shut the door, we need to talk."
The nerd looks at him confused, but does as he's told.
Good.
He then proceeds to come over and sit on Katsuki's bed right next to him.
Not good. Bad nerd.
"So, what do you want to talk about?"
He decides to ignore the bed thing for now. He has more important things to focus on.
"The scars."
"The scars? What about them? If this is about what's written I already told you that I'm fin- " "Don't lie to me Deku!"
He glares at the idiot. The idiot clamps his mouth shut and glares back... or at least tries too. The nerd honestly looks more constipated than anything.
He shakes his head. He's getting off topic.
"Deku, what did you say to me this morning?"
"Huh? Uh I don't-"
"What did you fucking say to me this morning? This isn't a trick question. It's the same thing you say every god damn morning."
"Uh... you mean good morning?"
"Good morning what?"
"Good morning Kacchan?"
"Yes! Exactly! Every fucking morning."
"Kacchan... I'm confused as to what me saying good morning... WAIT! Is that why you have Kacchan on your-"
Katsuki shoves his hand into the nerd's stupid confused/panicked face to shut him up. Deku flinches but goes silent.
Good.
Katsuki drops his hand.
"Stop jumping to conclusions Shitty Face. I'm about to say some shit, and your going to sit their quietly and listen. Got it?"
Deku makes a show of shifting himself so he's fully facing, makes a lip zipping motion, places his hands into his lap, and nods like an eager curious puppy.
What a fucking nerd.
"Alright, good."
He takes a deep breath. He can do this.
"So, uh like I was saying everyday god damn day you say good morning to me. I mean in middle school you didn't say it every day, but in elementary school I can't think of a single day you didn't great me with a good morning... well, except that one week you were absent ... apparently you were sick or something."
He pauses glancing over to see Deku's reaction. The other boy has his head tilted slightly as he stares off lost in thought before nodding and looking back to Katsuki.
"I remember that week. I had caught the flu. I... I remember you yelling at me a lot when I came back..."
"Yea, because I was mad."
"Well, yea I got that but-"
"I was mad because for an entire week you weren't around to say good morning to me."
He looks away from the nerds shocked expression and reaches up to tug a bit at his own hair. He can do this.
"Of course, other fuckers would say good morning, but you... you're the only one that ever sounds like you actually mean it. Everybody else just sounds like their tired... just going through the motions, but you... you always smile when you say it. Like your happy to see me or some shit and that... you just, you make it sound like it really is a good morning."
"Even in middle school when you didn't say it everyday on the days you did ... I know it's stupid, but I always thought that those days were better. It was like once I heard you say good morning I knew that it was going to be a great fucking day."
"And then when we got into U.A. I... I was so fucking mad at you but... at the same time I was relieved because you were something familiar and... that you being here meant that I get to keep hearing you say good morning and therefore I could keep having great fucking days and..."
"K-kacchan?"
He looks up to see tears dripping down the nerd's cheeks.
Fuck.
His vision blurs.
Double fuck.
"Kacchan... I appreciate you telling me this but I ... I don't understand why... I..."
"It's because back in middle school I said something I shouldn't have said. I mean I've said a lot of shit I shouldn't have but..."
He reaches out and gently rubs his fingers against the scar curled across the back of Deku's neck. He's pleased to find the bandages long gone. He's even more pleased that other boy doesn't flinch away.
"I ... I told you to go kill yourself..."
"Kacchan you know I would never actually-"
"THAT DOESN'T MATTER DEKU!"
He yanks his hand away before he accidentally does something he may regret.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU WOULD NEVER DO IT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I FUCKING SAID THAT AND THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE AND I JUST," he pauses to take a few shaky deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself before looking up and making eye-contact with familiar teary green eyes. "I... I need you to understand something Deku... even if you never would... kill yourself like that... some times watching you fight I just... sometimes I feel you're a bigger threat to yourself than the damn villains and it... it pisses me off and I just... I know given the futures we're both working towards that I can't make you promise to always be there but... I just..."
"I need you to understand Deku that if you weren't around I... I would miss you. I'd miss your stupid fucking smiles and your stupid fucking good morning and all the other stupid fucking nerdy
shit you do and ... and what's the point of being number one if you're not around to actually fucking make it a challenge for me... and I just ...I'm sorry."
He gasps choking on his own sobs and tries to rub the tears from his face. "I'm so fucking sorry."
His vision is suddenly taken by a forest of green as strong arms come to wrap around him and firm weight settles in his lap. He can feel tears that aren't his own start to soak into his right shoulder.
He should push the nerd away. He should- "I'd miss you too Kacchan."
He wraps his own arms around the other boy and tugs him closer. He reaches up to rub his thumb against the back of the nerd's neck.
He's swears the scars feel flatter now.
He buries his head into the tangled mess that is Deku's hair and for the second time in the past two days let's himself cry.