The wild world quieted.
She was peaceful.
She was peace.
She opened her eyes, and sunlight streamed into them, high above and peeking through the intermittent clouds, white and fluffy in the bright spring day.
Sitting up, she looked around to find herself in a field of flowers; most of them were dandelions.
She smiled. Dandelions were her favorite. She picked one and sniffed it before placing it in her hair. A white tuft of dandelion seeds grew on her left, and she plucked it before blowing the seeds into the light breeze. Her heart was happy.
She stood and twirled, breathing deeply.
Enna.
She almost jumped and looked around for the source of the voice. Had she imagined it?
Enna.
There it was again. Was that… Finwe?
Do you want to come back?
In a flash, her memory came flooding back to her. Agneward, Bash, the rakshasa. Bash's screams of terror. She put a hand to her head as she recalled the fatal event that had led her here.
But… she could go back? Who would ever want to leave this place? She glanced at the dandelions. This place was peace. Joy.
There was no pain.
Then Bash's face sprung up before her. The cuts across his chest. The rakshasa's sneer.
Bash, she thought.
She recalled what the sentinel of Erathis had said.
He has your heart, doesn't he?
She couldn't deny it. What good was a field of flowers when Bash was waiting for her on the other side?
Do you want to come back? the voice asked once more.
She couldn't deny it. She loved him.
"He has my heart," she replied.
Bending down, she plucked another dandelion and smelled deeply of it, closing her eyes and taking in the moment as best she could.
Then in a flash, the searing pain returned to her. She lay broken and bleeding in the streets of Agneward, light rain splashing onto her face. And leaning over her was the puffy-eyed Bash.
"You're okay," she said weakly.
And then he kissed her.
Impossibly intense heat washed over the tavern as Bash stood bewildered next to Enna. The flames emanating from William seemed unnatural and fiendish, almost as if they yearned for death. Stumbling backward, Bash threw his hands over his face, struggling to see past the impossible heat as the wood floor beneath William began to singe and burn.
Then William seemed to grow taller, soon looming over them, and curved horns sprouted from his head. His eyes glazed over in a shimmering white, and Bash felt a terror within his heart.
Turning to Enna, he reached out to grab her arm just as she raised a hand and cast a spell despite the fear in her face, but Bash watched the green energy bounce off the fire, only causing the slightest of flickers. A tremendous roar let loose from William, and another blaze leapt from him. The group stumbled backward to avoid it, but the rafters above were now catching fire.
Panicked shrieks rang out from Sooka as Bash struggled to act. Part of him wanted to try to help William, but it was all he could do simply to drag Enna toward the exit. Enna had to be kept safe. Sooka ran out just before them, feathers falling behind her.
"William!" cried Aribis from within, his voice nearly a command.
Bash cast a glance behind him, debating on whether he should intervene and drag Aribis out, too, but he could still feel the stickiness of Enna's blood on his trousers. He wouldn't leave her.
"William, you need to calm down, lad!" shouted Aribis. "It's okay. Everything is fine!"
The monk screamed once more as if warring with himself, and then a moment later, the black flames disappeared. William returned to his normal size and knelt on the burned floor, panting heavily before looking around him. The floor and rafters had caught fire and were now burning vigorously.
Standing quickly, William said, "Aribis. What happened?"
"You happened, lad," replied Aribis. "Now let's go. We don't have time!"
William leapt forward and made toward the door, Aribis following behind as Sooka stepped cautiously forward. Shooting her hands out, she conjured rays of frost to contain the fire as Enna rushed inside again and ran behind the counter. Swearing under his breath, Bash followed closely and joined her as she began to search for barrels of water. Upon finding one, they hoisted it up, removed the lid, and thrust it onto the flames as ice shards flew over their heads.
A beam fell from above, still alight, and William began to stamp on it vigorously as the water swathed over the floor, extinguishing the bulk of the flames.
A moment later, the crackle of the fire had been silenced, and the group breathed heavily in the aftermath. Enna collapsed on the floor, exhausted tears streaming down her face.
A swirl of thoughts sifted through Bash's mind, but he couldn't make any sense of them. So much had happened in the past few hours that he thought he might need a week of pure silence to recover and process it all, but here they were, far from a safe house.
"What happened?" he asked William quietly.
"What do you mean?" countered William.
Confused, Bash gestured to the blackened floor blanks and rafter beams.
"You just kind of set everything on fire, so…" inserted Aribis.
"I don't recall this," said William.
"You grew horns and… changed," Enna struggled to say. "You produced black flames. That isn't normal."
"I have no knowledge of this," repeated William.
Sighing, Bash sat next to Enna and placed a hand on hers as Sooka took a few tentative steps forward.
"Are you okay?" she said in Enna's voice.
"I'm okay," nodded William.
"I'm gonna suggest that you stop lying to us right now, William," warned Aribis, a steely gaze turned on the monk. "I'm in no mood to play games."
"I can't speak on this," replied William. "I do not know what just happened."
"You're lying."
"I'm not lying about this," insisted William. "Let's just make sure everyone is okay. There are more important things going on right now."
A sniff came from Enna, and Bash placed his forehead on her shoulder, trying and failing to stifle tears. He felt overwhelmed. Couldn't they just have a moment to breathe?
"I'm sorry for whatever I may have done here," continued William. "But right now, we have the Ghost and the monstrosities to worry about."
"What's more important than taking care of each other?" asked Enna.
"There's a lot of tension here…" said Finwe cautiously behind them. Bash had almost forgotten that he was there. "I'm sure that people have seen the smoke. Do we want to stay…?"
Bash knew the harsh punishment for arson, and he and Enna locked eyes in understanding. They really did need to leave.
"I get the feeling that, uh…" began Aribis, speaking to Finwe. "When you somehow disappeared from Kayl, he got a little worried and came after you and now he's probably sitting in prison for flying."
"I really didn't mean anything by it," said Finwe. "He was kind of drunk? He didn't seem like he would need much help, so… yeah… Anyway… Do you want to go back to the manse?"
"Yes, please," muttered Bash as they got to their feet.
A loud bell began to ring off in the distance, a sound Bash recognized instantly as the fire bell. Enna flipped her hand in the air, and their footfalls became silent as they all ushered out of the tavern. The doors were pushed open, and a billow of smoke followed them out, covering them from gathering eyes until they could dash past the crowd and into an alleyway.
As they darted through the city, Bash's mind was all but consumed with the impressive need to get back to the manse. He couldn't shake the feeling that at any moment, the Ghost could reappear and take one of them without notice. Consistently, he glanced behind him, counting heads just to make sure.
He led the group below the streets, dropping down through a sewer hatch and pushing northeast as quickly as possible. Despite the awkward gait he was forced to carry, he clasped tightly to Enna's hand, and Bash noticed Sooka and William doing the same.
They traveled underground for almost an hour before Bash began to check for a way out, knowing that they'd have to surface eventually to reach the Circle. He led them to another sewer grate and reached up to open it when his eyes spotted a leather pouch tucked into a corner by the grate. Quickly, he pocketed it, praying that it might contain something that would be useful. They exited the sewer at the edge of the Dandelions, and Bash made sure everyone made it out before he took the lead once more.
His chest ached and stung where the Ghost had cut across him, and he hoped they could make good time to the Circle. All he wanted was a comfortable place to sit down. He didn't like the feeling of exhaustion that was creeping over him. Memories of their night in prison came to him, of Enna's cursed state, and he wasn't sure how he'd respond to actual sleep. The thought almost terrified him, but he pushed it aside and pressed forward.
Another hour later, they arrived at the manse, and Finwe marched up to the door and let them in. Kayl was nowhere to be found, but Bash didn't much care; he walked over and plopped onto the couch, laying his head back and running his hands over his face, trying very hard now to ignore his wounds. The lock on the door clicked, and he felt the warmth of Enna sit next to him. She placed a hand on his knee.
"Sorry about your brother," said Finwe. "He was over there." He gestured toward the bar which held a plethora of empty bottles. "Strikes me as someone who doesn't get out much."
"Yeah, not really," replied Aribis, shaking his head slowly.
Turning, Bash looked at Enna's back and saw the mark the blade had left behind. Gingerly, he reached up and touched it, grieving that it existed at all. Blood still covered Enna's back and Bash's pants, even more oozing out of his chest now and soaking his armor. He wished to be out of it as soon as possible, but he wasn't sure if he had the strength to move.
"I'm going to go get Lady Ilya," announced Finwe shyly. "She probably wants to talk to you all. She's just downstairs."
And with that, he turned and sauntered down the hallway. As his footsteps faded away, Aribis turned to Bash and Enna.
"What happened to you two?" he asked.
"Are you okay?" came Enna's voice from Sooka.
Leaning forward, Bash set his elbows on his knees and stared at the ground. He didn't want to answer the question. He waited, and finally, Enna spoke up.
"We ran into him again," she said quietly. "If Finwe hadn't come… this would have been a lot different." The pain in her voice was evident, and Bash felt a lump in his throat. She paused, and Bash could feel eyes boring into them, waiting for an explanation. At long last, she said, "I died."
Awed silence filled the room with grief and sorrow.
"I'm so sorry," whispered Aribis.
Sooka took Enna's hand.
"But I'm back now," said Enna, forcing cheer into her voice. She sniffed again. "And now that makes two of us." She grinned at Aribis.
"I'm so sorry," he repeated. "It should have stopped with me."
"You couldn't have done anything," assured Enna.
"I didn't know where anybody went," said William sadly. "As I was healing the orc, all I could think about was whether everyone was safe. Sooka, I'm sorry that I didn't come after you."
"We shouldn't have split," muttered Bash.
Enna slipped her arm through Bash's and rested her head on his arm.
Aribis stepped toward Bash and Enna and placed a hand on either of their shoulders. A soft, warm feeling resonated through Bash's body as the healing magic flowed into him, and he watched the worst of his wounds heal over. Aches still ran through his body, but it was obvious that Aribis was just as exhausted as the rest of them. He wouldn't be able to do any more tonight. Bash clapped him on his feathery arm and smiled weakly in thanks.
Finwe's footsteps approached from the hallway, and the group turned to see him walking astride Ilya, who seemed tired but no worse for wear.
"I'm so glad you all are okay," she said, relief clear in her voice. "Finwe told me what had happened. I'm so sorry."
"Thanks," muttered Enna.
"This has just turned into a mess, hasn't it?" breathed Ilya helplessly. "Do you all know what you're going to do?"
Finwe walked past Ilya to the bar and sat down at a stool, watching from a distance. Ilya took her place on a nearby bench, and Aribis fluttered over to the bar and clinked around in search of a drink. Having found one, he took a large swig as William stood.
"We're going to defeat the Ghost," he said before joining Aribis at the bar and taking a drink from the same bottle.
Enna placed her head back on Bash's shoulder, and he wrapped one arm around her and rested his head on her hair. Despite everything they'd been through today, she still smelled like freshly mown grass and pine needles. He was grateful that she was beside him, and he couldn't help but imagine what would be happening right now if she weren't. Tears sprung into his eyes at the thought, and he held her closer. She'd been through so much pain, and all on his account.
If I hadn't lost myself, he mused, this wouldn't have happened.
He'd been so foolish. All the lies he'd spread among his friends and the secrets that he'd kept hidden had done nothing but lead them to this point. If he'd simply been honest… maybe this could have been avoided.
Why was he so despicable?
"Do you know how?" prodded Ilya.
Pushing off Enna gently, Bash leaned forward and wiped his face of his tears. The time for honesty, he realized, was now.
"I'm… sorry," he began, unsure of whether he wanted to look around. "I need to talk to you all. About… everything." He dared a glance up and saw all eyes on him. He shifted uncomfortably.
Enna wrapped her hand in his and squeezed.
"Bash—or… Peren?" questioned Ilya.
Reaching up, Bash peeled off his beard and set it next to him, wiping off much of his makeup afterward.
"My name is Bash," he said. "And I am the Ghost."
A crash came from the bar, and Bash looked over to see Finwe scrambling to his feet and drawing his sword.
"You're what?" he demanded.
Bash would have laughed at him on any other day, but he didn't have it in him right now. He held up a hand to stay the wrath of the half-elf as Enna did the same, and Finwe paused, eyes focused acutely on Bash.
"How long have you been in Agneward, Finwe?" asked Bash, realizing that he may never have heard the tale before.
"Two years…" he answered carefully.
"I came to Agneward three hundred years ago," said Bash pointedly. "And ever since then, I have been an assassin. A good one at that. I earned that title. I became known as the Ghost. I used to think of myself as the real Ghost of Agneward, although I think it's pretty clear now to everyone that I'm not." He cringed to say it out loud. But he couldn't deny that he'd been shown up tonight.
"You'll always be the real Ghost to me," whispered Enna.
"Three hundred years?" repeated Finwe, astonished.
"I'm pretty old," acknowledged Bash.
Shocked, Ilya said, "That's quite a bit of information to digest."
"That's not all," muttered Bash. "Earlier today, we went to the Azure Temple and spoke with the sentinel of Erathis. She granted me this, as you all know." He pulled out his dagger and set it before them on the table. The blade shone in the firelight.
"Did it change somehow?" asked Enna.
Bash nodded. "A lot, actually. I can see magic now, somehow, and I can see doppelgangers for what they really are. And as I demonstrated earlier…" He placed a hand on Enna and summoned a simple power, and she began to glow. "I can use magic, too." He smiled at her; she looked like an angel. But then he dissipated the magic and turned back to the others. "This dagger can kill the real Ghost," he added. "But… it will hurt me in the process."
"How?" asked William.
"What do you mean?" pried Enna.
"If I stab him with it, it will hold him here on this plane and let us kill him for good, but it sort of… saps my own energy in order to work properly."
"Do you have to be the one to take that pain?" asked William carefully. "It can't be one of us?"
"No," said Bash.
"What if it kills you?" pressed Enna, her voice slightly shaky.
"That's the price we have to pay," he replied, looking into her eyes with an apology hidden in his own.
"No," she protested. "No."
"We can stop the Ghost before that happens," assured William.
Her voice very nearly full of wrath, Enna grabbed tightly onto his hand and said, "Don't you ever use it without me nearby. I won't let you die."
Bash watched her carefully, his own anger and terror reflected in her eyes. That pain, that sadness, that desperation – would they be there now if not for him?
"However we kill him, all that matters is that he dies," he said stalwartly.
"Enna, dear," interrupted Ilya. "You're Rolen's sister, right?" Enna nodded. "Your mother and I were very good friends, you see… Do you know… about your brother's dealings?" Hastily, she added, "I'll be honest with you all… I've been friends with Althea for quite a while, not only because I love her dearly, but also because I have made it my goal to find out what Rolen has been doing. Over the last year or so, he's changed. His business has suffered for it, and I'm actually looking for an opportunity to take over Delthorn Holdings. One of the reasons why I hired you all is because I felt that it would give me more of a foothold in convincing him to sell to me. If you were to defeat his team in Colosso, of course."
"The person you know isn't Rolen," said Enna. "At least, for part of that time. He's a doppelganger, too."
Ilya seemed confused. "You are sure?"
"Yes," nodded Enna. "He left me a letter in my room."
"What about Althea?"
Pain radiated from Enna's voice as she said, "I don't know. Rolen said that he tried to escape with her, and if they got out, then she's a doppelganger. If not… she's in a house full of enemies at every waking moment."
"We don't know allies from enemies now," inserted William.
"I don't know if she's okay, or if she's being tortured, or anything."
"But you can see them, right?" Ilya asked Bash.
He nodded. "As of this morning, anyway," he said. "I could sneak in Marigold Manor and try to get a glimpse."
"What do we do once we know?" asked Enna in a small voice.
"We just have to find the Ghost," he replied without looking at her.
"This is certainly a conundrum," mused Ilya.
At that moment, metallic pings rang out from the Colosso medallions around their necks, and they all jumped.
"To the Natural Misfits," came a nasally voice. "This is Drasloc, the Guildmaster of Gaming. You are all cordially invited to the Winner's Dinner to be held at the Marigold Manor tomorrow evening. Please attend, as it is a good opportunity for those who are invested in your group to meet you in person, as well as to enjoy a delicious meal. Thank you very much. See you then!"
The group exchanged glances.
"There's an in," said Ilya with a grin. "I'll be there anyway. I'm your sponsor."
"That's all well and good," said Bash. Such opportunities were some of his old favorites for infiltrating stuffy old mansions. Enna pulled her feet onto the couch and hugged her knees. "But we have to decide beforehand how I can tell everyone if someone is a doppelganger without just shouting it to the world."
"Maybe Sooka can go around and poke people with her spoon," offered Aribis.
"But he would know," said Enna quietly.
"That actually works?" asked Finwe, excitement bleeding through his words.
Enna nodded. "It worked on the doppelganger from the Sour Apple."
"If you see one, reference your magic," proposed William. "Since you can use that now."
"Worth a shot," shrugged Bash. "We can fine tune it tomorrow, too."
"I think we all need some rest," agreed Ilya with a sigh. "You all are welcome to stay here."
"This is the only place we can be safe," said William.
As Finwe led Sooka to all exterior doors so that she could charm them, the others debated on their ability to cure Bash's cursed wounds. While he was no longer bleeding, he could feel the drain on his psyche, pulling him toward a state of unconsciousness that frightened him. He wondered if Enna had felt this way, helpless while she slept, vulnerable to any intruder or attacker.
Ilya made her way to the kitchen and began preparing food, and the rest took an opportunity to exchange information about the previous couple hours. Realizing the terror that had driven Sooka from them, Bash felt a swath of guilt settle over his heart. Despite all his misgivings, Sooka was a person just like the rest of them, and he had treated her as less.
"Sooka," he interrupted, suddenly standing.
She stopped, mid-spell, and turned to him with a cocked head and curious eye.
"I'm sorry that I've been so rude to you. You're not useless. You've helped us more than I've been able to admit."
She smiled. Or at least, Bash thought she did.
"Sooka, we all feel useless sometimes," inserted William. "Even me. But at the end of the day, we're a family, and we all play a part in that. Without you, our family would fall apart."
"We're a family," agreed Bash, putting a hand on William's shoulder.
"We're a family," repeated Sooka, this time using Bash's voice.
Despite everything else that he felt, Bash smiled. Maybe having friends wasn't so bad.
"Just… don't leave us again like that," pleaded William.
"Oh, we've already had that chat," assured Aribis.
Enna now stood and took a place next to Bash. "I'm sorry that I've been too caught up in everything to be able to help you," she said.
Sidling up to the druid, Sooka squeezed her arm and repeated, "I'm sorry." Then winking at Bash, she added in his voice, "Pfft. Idiot."
The group chuckled together.
Kneeling, Enna patted Sooka's feathers and said, "You are so brave."
"You are a superhero," said Sooka in William's voice.
As the scent of stew began to permeate the room, Enna joined Aribis at the bar. Straining to fight off sleep and listen simultaneously, Bash lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. These two now shared something in common. Something that could have been avoided on both accounts.
"That rapier stings, doesn't it?" said Enna quietly. Bash tilted his head to hear better.
Aribis kept his eyes on his hands.
"I'm so sorry, Aribis," came Enna's gushing emotions. "You died, and we've done nothing to help you through that."
"It's not your place to help me," said Aribis.
"If not us, then whose place is it?"
"We're family," called Sooka from the far window.
When Aribis did not respond, Enna took a different approach.
"What did you see when everything faded away?"
"I saw… a temple in a desert. I saw… flashes that I can't remember. And then I saw Mastil, I think."
"Who's Mastil?"
"He's… my patron. Where I get my powers from."
"Hmm…"
"What did you see?" asked Aribis.
"A meadow," replied Enna quietly, also diverting her eyes. "It was beautiful. Dandelions everywhere… Just peace and nature. But then Finwe called me back, and of course, I said yes."
"How did you come back, Aribis?" asked William.
There was a long pause before Aribis gave his reply.
"Broken."
They paused. Bash shut his eyes, empathy filming over his heart. He had told them to chase that shadow that night.
"But we're back now," he continued. "And there's something that we can do about it. We'll take him down no matter what."
"He won't take any more souls," affirmed William.
"Maybe we can fix what's broken in each of us while we're at it," said Enna.
Sooka and Finwe made their way upstairs as she continued her magical work. William, Enna, and Aribis fell into idle chatter over their drinks. Peace came to the Zen Manse at last, and sleep threatened Bash once more. His heart grew so heavy that he almost welcomed the tranquility that would come with slumber, though he was still hesitant.
But then, a knock came on the front door. Instantly, Bash was alert, dagger in hand, poised and ready to attack any assailant. William cracked his knuckles, and Ilya opened the door to reveal Kayl.
"Welcome back, brother!" said Aribis cheerily.
"You know, you're not supposed to fly in the city," replied the larger aarakocra.
"No, you're not," scolded Aribis. "You forgot about that, didn't ya?"
"It's really easy to forget!" laughed Kayl. "See, I like it here, but not that part. Back home, we could just fly wherever we want!"
Kayl moseyed in and joined the group at the bar.
"It's really bad when you're not even told that's a rule until after you get in," said Aribis.
"Did that happen to you?"
"Aye!"
"At least they don't lock you up for a one-time offense," chuckled Kayl. "I've… done it several times. Drink doesn't help nothing, either."
"Kayl," interrupted Enna. "You were able to cure Aribis the last time he was cursed. Do you think you could help Bash this time?" Bash smiled.
"Cursed?" said Kayl. "What do you mean cursed? Like you were?" He gestured to Aribis.
"Aye," he replied. "They had another run-in."
"And you're alive?"
"Now I am," whispered Enna.
"Oh, uh…" Kayl seemed unsure. Then he turned abruptly to Bash, who lay still on the couch, watching and waiting hopefully. As he approached, Kayl asked, "Where does it hurt, lad?"
Bash gestured vaguely to his bloodied chest region, claw marks still adorning his torn leather armor.
"That's a bad one," agreed Kayl. "You're gonna have to take off the breastplate."
Somewhat grateful and somewhat worried, Bash carefully unlaced his armor and removed it. Then he unbuttoned his tunic and pulled it open, revealing the dark, painful stripes across his chest. Kayl remarked on them casually before retrieving his holy symbol of Kord and running his other hand over the scratches. Yellow magic radiated into Bash's chest, and as Kayl pulled his hand away, a dark essence fell out of the wounds. With each swipe, the wounds stitched together, and the darkness faded. When at last he was done, Kayl stepped back to admire his handiwork – vague, indistinct scars. Scars that would never, ever fade away.
Still, Bash's slow descent into true sleep faded with the curse, and though he was still exhausted, he was sure that his normal four- or five-hour trance would have him good as new.
"Whatever it is you lot are fighting, boy, it leaves a nasty welt," remarked Kayl.
As they waited on the stew that Ilya cooked, Enna and Sooka worked together with bouts of magic to clean and repair Bash's leather armor and outer jacket. Clean and no longer sticky, he held his head a little higher as he joined the others for dinner. While the others ate heartily, though quiet, Bash struggled to consume much at all; an uneasy feeling had settled in his stomach, taking up all the room. He found it hard to meet their eyes and eventually resorted to poking around at the bits of meat and vegetables.
Finally standing, Bash abandoned his half-eaten stew and bid the others good night as they all meandered toward empty rooms down the hall. For a few short moments, Aribis's strained voice could be heard scolding William in some fashion, but Bash was too distracted to notice. He was warring with himself on whether he would prefer to be alone or exist solely in Enna's presence for the next eight hours. In the end, he figured that he would at least give the latter a try and turned into a sitting room, saving the room next door to trance in once he finally decided.
The sitting room was pleasant enough; a fire already burned in the fireplace, and there were two armchairs and a sofa awaiting occupants. Bash obliged, collapsing into one of the chairs, cringing at the ache that pulsed across his chest when he did so. For a moment, he merely laid back his head and listened to the crackling fire.
He could almost pretend that they were back in the marshes, doing something as silly and free as hunting down some deranged dragonborn. Even dragons seemed a cakewalk to what they now faced. Those red eyes glowed in his memory, and he fought to push them away and return to his own peace. Then images of Enna's lifeless body flashed before him, and he flinched in response.
What had he been thinking all this time? A century with her, and what had he done? Did he fancy a relationship with her? Even his far-stretched memory could not remember a moment that he had fallen in love, but he knew that he had. And yet, where could it lead but to heartache?
He recalled a time, long ago, his nights spent aching and weeping over lost love. An unspoken vow had been made inside him, and these past few months with Enna had threatened to break it.
Tonight had been a staggering reminder of why he could not.
"Hey."
Enna's small voice interrupted his reverie, and he tensed slightly. As expected as she was, part of him dreaded the conversation that he felt was inevitable.
Without waiting for acknowledgement, she sat on the closer end of the sofa, and he opened his eyes to see her lazily splayed across it, grateful for a moment of rest.
"This is a dream, right?" she said. "Because it really feels like one."
"Honestly, I'm not sure," he replied shortly.
"They say you can't feel pain in dreams. And I think we've both felt enough for today."
Taking a deep breath, Bash was reminded of the wounds not fully healed. He ran a finger over the exposed skin on his chest, feeling the raised bump of one of his scars. "That's fair," he muttered.
There was a pause, and Bash got the feeling that Enna was mustering up the courage to say something.
"So, you know the fight we had with the sentinel?" she finally said. "And how she could just… talk to you? In your mind, I mean."
Bash nodded, though the fight seemed so far away, despite having happened that morning.
"Did she tell you anything about yourself?"
He shrugged. "I guess you could call it that. She mostly just asked me a bunch of questions."
"I was wondering what was going on while she talked to you."
"Did you all not hear that?" asked Bash. The voice had been clear to him.
"No." Enna shook her head. "I could tell you were conversing, and then you handed over that necklace—" she gestured vaguely toward him "—but that was it."
The necklace. He'd almost forgotten it again. Reaching into his tunic, he withdrew it and began thumbing around the signet ring at the end of the chain.
"I've never told you about this, have I?" he asked.
"No."
"This is where I came from," he said, watching the signet with both contempt and gratitude. "This is my family's crest. This is the life I fought to escape."
Enna paused. "No wonder it was so important to you," she said. "I knew it meant something, but you just never shared."
Almost ignoring her comments, he continued, the words almost spilling out of him. Almost as if he had to explain who he was to the person who knew him best. Or was he justifying himself after his unforgiveable mistake?
"After I left them, I just wandered for a while. When I came to Agneward, it felt like coming home. That's what it's always been for me, for almost as long as I can remember… home. Three centuries of holding it together, protecting it, and nurturing it. And now it's like… I was only gone for one year, and it's falling apart."
Enna reached over a hand and placed it on his. "We'll protect your home," she said firmly. "We'll find a way, somehow."
Retracting his hand, he stood and began pacing before the fire. Feelings that had disturbed his innermost being since their arrival only a few days ago rushed out of him, leaving him bare to Enna's eyes.
"I feel like it's all my responsibility. Somehow, this is all my fault. That… thing stole my name and just turned it into something worthless, all because I left. If I had been here, maybe I could have kept all this from happening. Because that's what I did. I kept the bad things from hurting the good people. And without me, he murdered so many people and infiltrated the entire city. He—"
A lump caught in his throat as he turned to look at Enna. Outlines of her scars, eerily similar to his own, could be seen in the dim firelight. Aribis's magic had healed the rapier wound, but Bash would never be able to look at her and not see it. It was there, deep beneath all her layers of love and care for others.
Enna stood and held her hand up in protest. "First of all," she asserted, "this is not your fault. Or at least, it can't be yours alone. My actions have led us here as much as anyone else's." He turned away, moving his focus to the fire. "However, the only one truly to blame is the rakshasa. If we had been here when he was released, what could we have done? I think it's going to take every single one of us to take him down."
Of course, she was right. The Ghost – the real Ghost of Agneward – had proven himself multiple times. Tonight, he'd shown himself to be the stronger Ghost. Bash's only saving grace was Enna, and she had died to save him. What use was he at this point? For three hundred years, he had fancied himself the originator of the name, and now he discovered that he, Sebastian, was in fact the impersonator. The weak copy. The flawed facsimile.
It felt hopeless.
Falling onto the sofa, he hid his face in his hands, trying to hide the tears that now pricked his eyes.
"Gods, Enna…" he spoke through his fingers. "What are we going to do?"
"We're going to stop him," she replied without hesitation. Her determination would have been a comfort had Bash not seen her slaughtered a few hours ago. "I won't sit idly by and let him run rampant in your city."
She sat next to him, and try though he might, he couldn't stop himself from embracing her. Burying his face in her neck, he allowed his tears to fall, shaking in his grief and anger, and she simply held him. All he wanted was to remain there in her arms. The rest of the world didn't matter. Not now.
"We'll figure it out," she whispered, rubbing a hand over his back.
As the sobs subsided, Bash finally pulled away, aware of their strained situation. A glance toward her showed that she had been crying with him, and he hurriedly reached up to wipe his eyes and nose. He was sure that she was prettier than he was right now. His breathing evened, and he began fidgeting with his hands, unsure of where to go from here. Perhaps he should simply leave and find solace in trance. But Enna interrupted his plans.
"You want to know something?" she asked, her voice far too cheery. "The sentinel talked to me, too."
He sensed the direction of the conversation, unsure of whether he wanted it to stray that way. After debating on whether to redirect it, he merely said, "Yeah?"
Enna nodded as a stray hand began rubbing the dragon tooth on her necklace. "She did. I don't know if you noticed, but it caught me off guard. I almost stopped in the middle of the battle. I've been thinking about what she said all day."
"I might have noticed something," affirmed Bash. "What did she say?" He dreaded the answer.
Taking a deep breath, Enna steadied herself and said, "Like with you, I guess it was more of a question. She said… 'He has your heart, doesn't he?'"
He closed his eyes, working his jaw as he struggled to avoid everything that was coming toward him.
"What did you make of that?" he heard his voice say.
Why did he ask that? Maybe he should leave.
"She was right," said Enna simply. It was now her turn to unleash a flow of words. "She saw right through me and all the excuses that I've been making for such a long time. During the walk back to the Mere, in the waiting room before the fight, our walk to the slums, and even at the Sour Apple, I kept thinking about those words." She took a shuddering breath, and her voice began to fight past tears. "I was so afraid that he would kill you… I just couldn't let that happen. I had to do something. I only had one thought in my mind as everything faded away… And now I've been given a second chance at life, and I won't lie to myself anymore." She took another steadying breath and wiped her cheek. "Bash, you have my heart. You have for a long time now."
He knew it. But it couldn't happen.
Standing abruptly, he walked a few paces away and examined an odd painting hanging on the wall.
"I shouldn't," he said. "There are much better people out there than me."
She stood, her footsteps approaching him slowly. "I don't care who else is out there. I love you. No one else can be you."
Oh, how he loved her for saying that! His heart ached, something far more painful than the rakshasa's claws. Enna would always love him; it was her nature. But his was not one of such commitment. Such evidence was built up against him that it seemed impossible to him.
"I… know…" His fists balled tightly. "And I'd be lying if I said that there isn't anything there, but… now… just isn't the time."
She crossed her arms. "If now isn't the time, then when?" Her voice carried a defiant edge.
"Can we talk about this later?" he pleaded. Neither of them were in the right state of mind for this, and he feared that he would only worsen the situation if forced to continue.
Angry now, Enna began to toss her arms about as she said, "And when is later? In the morning? After we defeat the rakshasa? In another ten, thirty, fifty, hundred years? I already died once, Bash. What if something happens again before 'later' happens?"
She plopped down furiously, crossed her arms, and glared at him.
Despite his own rising anger, he could see the hurt on her face. She'd always been adept at understanding him, and surely now, she knew that he cared for her. But this exasperated irritation they shared over their traumatic night together was evidence of why they should not be together. She had been in such danger during their time in Agneward, but it had been nothing compared to this visit. Bash had chosen an enemy far too strong this time, and it had led to her death. He could never forget what the Ghost had said to him in that moment.
I can see I stabbed you in the heart.
Enna's death was mere play to him, a tool to mock this feigned "Ghost" that Bash had become.
He scrambled for a way to escape. He could never let this happen again.
"These things just don't end well," he snapped. "Not when you're like me." He gestured to the rest of the building. "Like us."
"How do you know if you never try?"
Gritting his teeth, Bash ground his jaw together. As loving as she was, why couldn't she respect this wish of his?
She sighed at his lack of response.
"Every one of us deserves to find happiness in life, and that includes you. If we let fear of what might happen take over us, and we refuse to act in the face of that fear, then we'll never find it. I don't want to look back on my life one day and regret holding back."
Such youth. Such naivete.
"That's the thing, Enna," he said, anger creeping into his deepening voice. "I have tried. There's a reason that I am the way that I am. You want to know when was the last time I was in a committed relationship? Long before you came along. I'm just not made for them. You want to know the number of women I've slept with? Because it's more than my age. I can't guarantee that I'd be true to you. I can't guarantee that I'd be able to give you anything you need. I could die, or you could die, or maybe one day I turn and leave you alone with no explanation. I'm just not cut out for it. I'd hurt you, Enna." His voice softened. "I'd hurt you. I can't do that. Not again."
As tears fell onto her shirt, Enna stood and took a tentative step forward. "Even knowing all this, I'm willing to try. I know you, Bash, and I know that you don't give yourself the credit you deserve. I've watched you for a hundred years. I've seen countless of your actions that show how much you care, sometimes in the smallest of ways. Your past doesn't have to be your future." She stepped closer. "I chose to come back. I didn't have to. I could have resisted that call, but I didn't. Do you know why?"
He couldn't look at her anymore. Turning away, he said sourly, "Why."
"It wasn't because of the rakshasa. I knew and believed that all of you would be able to defeat him without me. You would have found help and found a way. And it wasn't because my mother and Rolen needed help. It wasn't because everyone else would miss me." She grabbed his arm and turned him so that he was forced to face her. Instinctively, he pulled away, but she held him fast, her eyes breathtakingly earnest. "It was because I wanted to be with you. You are where my heart is. There was a piece of me missing in that place, and it was here with you. I had so much peace, but it didn't matter. I would give it all up again to come back to you, Bash. That's how much you mean to me."
Her eyes were wide, focused, sincere. Tears welled in them, only serving to deepen that dark green color. Bash couldn't control the tears that fell now as his heart broke to see hers laid bare at last. So long, he had secretly hoped that she would make such a confession, and now it came when he realized that it should never be.
In the end, he knew himself. Within him was a storm of wrath, grief, lust, and terror. To keep her safe, he would have to dismantle himself piece by piece and become someone that he was not.
But despite his best efforts, his love for her remained. Such a confession, such love and devotion – it had caught him by surprise. This love that she shared was wholly undeserved and misplaced, and yet he felt grateful and honored to receive it. He cried as he listened, and he knew that if he did not leave now, he would wake up by her side the next morning.
Taking her face, he closed his eyes and placed his forehead on hers.
"I love you, Enna. And I think I always will. But I just… can't do this. Not yet."
Then he kissed her, holding her against him before pulling away and rushing toward the door.
"You will always have my heart," she called after him. "And I will wait for as long as it takes."
Her voice waned until he was in the hallway, and he swept into the next room and shut the door. Without breaking stride, he reached the bed and crashed onto it, releasing the torrent of his emotions as he cried into the soft pillow.