I do apologize for the delay. I have been having writer's block and starting another project at the same time...
'Since you didn't stay in hell, I'll bring hell to you.'
Ben's mind was solely focused on that sentence. He repeated it over and over in his mind so he could engrave the voice in his head. Finn had sounded intrigued, as if he had set a challenge for himself as to how he was going to make that hell happen. What could Finn do with the Darkside in his fingertips and a target to play with? Ben had had those thoughts once. Only briefly. When he had first come to the darkside it had been like having sex for the first time. It felt really good, it was fun, and thrilling. Very quickly those feelings vanished and were replaced with reason and objectiveness. He had accepted the darkside because he needed power. Because what he had learned of the Jedi or at least its master had been a smoke screen. All acceptance and hippie crap covered the hipocrcisy of the leader. His uncle had only ever seen Ben's power, his potential to become not a Jedi Knight, but a vessel for the darkside. It had seemed that his uncle was harboring his own demons: the capacity for evil within his bloodline. Hiding behind the Jedi code that called for celibacy was a relief to his uncle he was sure, because if Luke had had his own children he probably would have looked for that same evil in them.
Finn had accepted the darkside because...why not? His fiancee had just dumped him. The life he had thought he would start disappeared. And the man he seemed to have cultivated a deep hate for was alive. Now armed with a power and fuel behind it, Finn could do whatever he wanted for the sake of just doing it. And that's what scared Ben. Finn knew something very powerful about Ben. He knew exactly how to hurt him. Rey. Only Rey was formidable herself. She was not someone to be taken down easily. Even if Finn were to use Rey to get to him, it would take an awful lot to knock Rey down enough for Ben to truly be hurt. 'I have to train her. I have to bring her to the point where if it came to his life or hers...she could pick her own.' Ben relaxed his meditation pose and opened his eyes.
Sweat lined his brow and a thin sheen of perspiration was on his upper lip. He had been deep in the Force doing as he had tuaght himself to do. Ben had discovered that with deep enough meditation he could see all sides of the Force. By being able to see the 'bigger picture' if you will, he could gather more information to make better informed decisions. And a new wisdom had just come to him. Rey was altruistic in nature. And a beautiful a sentiment as that was, it could not be applied to all situations in life. Especially those of combat. Rey needed to be able to see past her friend if she ever came to fight him. She needed to be able to see an opponent who, no matter what she had tried, had not responded to lesser invasive means and had left her no other choice: She would have to kill him. She need to be able to do this and not hate herself. She needed to learn that if she went through with that horrible action of ending the life of the person she had loved, laughed, and called friend it was because she had done everything she could within her power. Short of her dying and letting him live.
Ben stood and walked over to the small creek that was running to the side of him. He cupped water in his hands and splashed his face. The coolness of it slowed his hearbeat and let him breathe deeply for a second. He felt her eyes on his back as he felt her force signature wrap around him like a kiss to his cheek.
"You have got to stop avoiding me," came her voice with a touch of haughtiness to it.
"I'm not," Ben retorted drying his face off. "I just needed somewhere secluded to meditate."
Rey rasied a brow. "You've been needing a lot of 'seclusion' lately. Don't think I can't tell what you're doing Ben. Just because you've blocked off your thoughts doesn't mean I don't have eyes."
Ben furrowed his brow. "I went over this with you already. I believe that we should have privacy in our thoughts. Have something that is just our own respectively. If you need to communicate with me, my mind is still open."
Rey crossed her arms. "That is such bantha spit. Ever since we got here you've been closing off the bond little by little," Rey accused. "You thought I wouldn't notice if you did it in small doses. I am not ignorant Ben."
Ben grabbed his shirt that had been hanging on a tree nearby and put it on to Rey's slight disappointment. "I know you're not Rey. And...yes, I have been closing off the bond little by little," he said finally admitting it.
Rey felt ice form in her stomach. She knew as much, but hearing him confirm it made another feeling grow in her belly: doubt. "But...why?" she asked sounding like a rejected child.
Ben immediately walked over to her and grabbed her shoulders in his large hands. "Don't even think that its because I have doubts about you or that I don't want you. You are everything to me Rey. I am alive now, here, for you," he said giving her a chaste kiss. "But there are going to be times that I am going to have be in my own head."
Rey looked reluctant, but she understood that. It seemed that her newly selfish nature with her lover had made her clingy. She wanted to be immersed with him. Feel him in every cell of her body so that she would never feel alone again. But she also understood the peace of being alone. There are pros and cons to being alone. Con: being alone too much. Pro: being alone enough that you can clear your head and organize your thoughts and emotions.
"Are you ready to share what is taking up your mind?" Rey asked with a pout. "I don't like sharing you...Even with yourself."
Ben laughed heartily at that. "I have never been coveted before. I gotta say...it feels...nice," Ben murmured towards the end. "I like knowing that you want me so much." Ben leaned down again and wrapped his arms around her waist to lift her up slighlty. He kissed her mouth slowly, languidly. There was no rush right now. Though usually their coupling was passionate and energetic, there were times that Ben just liked to bask in the feeling as simple as kissing his bonded. Rey sighed happily as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Screw her earlier thoughts; she wanted to be selfish with him. Who wouldn't? Rey closed her eyes as Ben began to kiss lazily down her jaw and towards her neck. It had been some time she had felt him so relaxed. 'Maybe now is a good time to peek...' Rey very gently prodded at his mind and found that the hard walls he had put in place since they got here were a little softer. Probably due to their current acitivities. She felt his tongue begin to lick up her shoulder to her neck and suckle below her ear. Rey hissed with want as her core began to pulse.
She felt his satisfaction at her response to him. She hid behind these current emotions and tried to prowl in his mind like a burgler. Even if she could get one thought of what had been taking his attention away from her, she could build on that clue. She tried very hard to keep her presence hidden within his lust so he wouldn't notice her slipping through his mind. She started with his emotions since she could already sense those. She felt his desire, want, and love for her. She warmed at that. This was real. He was real. She dug deeper until she could feel a tension that had nothing to do with sex. Rey let her brow furrow as she focused. She tried to isolate that tension and very gingerly let herself be touched by it. She recognized it right away. Fear. He was afraid. At this point Ben was no longer caressing her for he had finally felt her prodding. Rey felt his awareness of her and instead of backing out, she shot in like an arrow. She went passed the fear to see the origin of it. Ben gasped at the deep penetration of his mind. He began to erect the walls of his mind as before, but it was too late.
Rey felt the jumble of his thoughts and followed the trail of fear. She very quickly sifted until she only felt the fear and then finally heard the words. 'Since you didn't stay in hell, I'll bring hell to you.' Rey froze as she instantly recognized her dear friend's voice. She was unaware of the coldness from her body as Ben pulled away. She was stuck, completely rooted as she was transported back to that day almost four months ago when she saw her friend fall to the darkside. Ben had not needed to thrust Rey out of his mind. Once she had heard the sentence that had been haunting him since he heard it, she had left in an instant. As if she had not been in his mind at all. He filed this away, and looked at her. He should monumentally pissed at her, but he couldn't bring himself to. She was looking at nothing. Her eyes were blank, shoulders tense, and thoughts stuck on the one thing she had heard.
"Damn it Rey," Ben groused. "Why did you do this sweetheart? Why?"
Rey came back to herself slightly as she felt the forlorness within Ben. Her throat felt thick, her tongue dry. "How...how was he able to do that?" she asked still in shock.
Ben sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. And thinking about how he might have been able to do that is even more terrifying." Ben clenched his jaw. He would not deny that he had omitted information from her. He would be honest with her always. Well, starting now at least. "Rey...please forgive me for not telling you. There's so much-"
"-He threatened you," Rey voiced softly. "He threatened to make your life hell."
Ben faltered in his words, but nodded. "That man hated me before I died. And now he has even more reason to. And that makes him dangerous."
"My God Ben, is that what you've been thinking about? What he'll do?" Rey querried. "There's no need for you to worry about that. We can train. You're a skilled warrior. You can train me so that I can-"
"-You don't get it. It isn't simply about training you. Don't you see?" Ben ground out. "That man hates me. He fell to the dark side, he is fueled by hate, and the one person he has loved traded him in for the man he wants dead. There are no rules here Rey. You told me what he said to you that night. He doesn't care about the Force, about its laws of fate. Finn will use the Force as a weapon, a tool to get what he wants. Revenge on me," Ben said in anguish, "And the best way to do that is to get me where he can truly hurt me. You."
Rey shook her head as she saw where Ben was going with this. "No! I refuse to believe that Finn can do that! We just need to talk to him. Make him understand-"
"-Make him understand what Rey?" Ben asked piercingly. "You want to know what I was meditating about? Him. What his motivation is for what may come. He was stolen as a child for pretty much slave labor. He grew up never knowing any kind of warmth from family. He met you and the Resistance. I killed most of them. I captured you. I hunted you, and him since he was with you. I killed my father in front of him. My mother died so that I could see the error of my ways. And he saw that. We fought, and in death we realized what we meant to each other. But I remained dead. Not an obstacle for him to be happy with you. He brought you back from the shell of what you were. Because of me. Then, on the eve of what should have been the happiest day of his life after all the bullshit life threw at him, I come back and stole you away. Do you really think this man is going to listen to us talk about the Force and its plan? All he'll get from that is exactly what has already been proven to him. That the Force screwed him over and awarded me," Ben said bitterly. This was deja vu for Rey because Ben was right. This is exactly what Finn already thought. He had said as much.
"For a man who lost so much after having so little...do you think morality is where his mind is? Do you think he'll exercise restraint when it comes to me? You know him better than I do, Tell me...is my assessment is off?" Ben question sincerely.
Rey felt her blood run thick in her veins. She felt heavy all of a sudden. Because while they had been hiding and enjoying themselves in their bubble for 4 months, this was moment that it burst. Reality was slapping her hard, and logic was gut checking her. Tears rolled down her cheeks but she did not sob. "No," she finally voiced with a knot in her throat, "You're not off."
Ben thinned his lips and his hands fanned out in front of him as if it say voila. Rey wiped the tears from her cheeks and walked over to her bonded. She went to hold his hand and entwined his fingers with hers. "Ben...let go of it," Rey said almost in a whisper.
"Let go of what?" he questioned.
"The guilt your feeling. You are not at fault for anything that happened to him or will happen to me. I could have walked away from you and saved myself all of this. I chose you. You are what I want. I told you already that if its the world or you, I chose you," Rey said with reverence.
"And what if it was you?!" Ben shouted. "If it came down to you or me I already know what your choice would be and it is unacceptable to me. I came back into this world for you. To be with you. And instead of making your life better, I'm fucking it up and putting you in danger!"
"Ben I'm not defenseless. I can handle myself."
"He's not all I fear Rey," Ben said closing his eyes. Rey was about to ask what else he feared, but the image of Kylo Ren popped into her mind.
"Why are you afraid of that? He's gone," Rey said with furrowed brows.
"Yes, the persona of him is dead, but the power? The skill he used to kill, weilding the darkside of the Force, the ruthlessness? That is still in me. And if Finn were to hurt you Rey, or if you died...There would be no corner of this galaxy I wouldn't burn," he saw low with eyes black and jaw twitching.
Rey felt a pulse of desire warm her cunt making her slick. This was an odd change, and she did not expect this sudden change in her emotions, but here she was. Salivating at the thought of all that power in this man, all that skill, motivated by her. She took in his wide shoulders, toned torso, thick roped arms, and long strong legs. This was a man that could radiate power, and he had. She felt it every time he thrust into her. Ben always seemed to channel this intensity into their lovemaking. He was rarely gentle when he took her. Always driving into her, either slowly and methodically, or wild with no awareness of that around him. And she loved it. She felt revered, cherished, put on some pedestal that he lived to worship. She took their entwined hands and pulled him flush against her.
Ben saw the shift in Rey, and was caught off guard. Was Rey turned on with this information? She was always altruistic and a champion of the people. She lived to be in service of others, so seeing her so hot at the mention of destroying the galaxy for her was odd...but not unwelcomed. She brought their entwined hands to wrap around her waist and she snaked her other arm around his neck.
"I wanna feel that burn Ben. I wanna feel how hot you can get because of me. And I want to feel it from-" she let go of their entwined hands and cupped him "-this cock."
Ben's free hand shot up to her hair and grabbed it to pull her back slightly. "Why are you pushing this Rey? Where is this coming from?" he ground out low.
"The thought of you killing someone in revenge of me makes me wetter than it should," Rey stated with ease.
Ben's eyes flashed at this, his cock twitched, and he took her mouth hard. He loved having this woman. He had taken his time with her body at first, learning things about it like where to suck and kiss. But there were other times like this where all he wanted was to feel her hot cunt around his cock. They had definitely explored his passions throughout these past 4 months, but his little jedi had been reserved about what she fantasized about. He was beginning to get an inkling. He felt her hands grip his shoulders as she hopped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her mouth was hot and rapacious. She was aroused and single minded in her actions. Ben was only too happy to comply. He had her back up against the nearest tree that he had seen over her shoulder. Rey meweled as she had something to push against so that she could grind against his hard dick. She loved Ben with everything she had in her, but when she had first met him he had been Kylo Ren. As dead as that persona should remain, she could no longer deny her attraction to the once dark side of her lover.
Kylo Ren was brute strength. Power both in the Force and physically. When he walked into a room he commanded it. There was no room for doubt when that man spoke. Rey had never met a man like that. Jakku didn't offer a variety of compatible life forms for her to eye fuck. No, Kylo Ren was definitely an alpha amongst men. But then again, Ben seems to have some of that left over. She wanted a taste of that. She knew she was playing with fire. Poking that sleeping dragon was not a good idea, but she wanted to hear how loud that dragon could roar. Ben was being driven mad by the assault of the petite woman on him. He was suddenly feeling the cool air on his back as he noted that she was using the Force to rip his shirt open on the back. He pulled back slightly and sent her a smirk as he removed the pieces of his shirt. Rey let her hands greedily roam over his hard muscled body and returned to kissing him. Ben let his hand go lower until he felt her pebbled nipple through her shirt. Thank the Force for desert clothing. His little jedi wore her usual Jakku garb that was meant for heat. They were thin and she also went without proper under clothing. Her breasts were as wild and free as she was. His finger began to cirle over it and flick at it. When he heard her moans and little pants he knew she was close.
Rey's eyes tightened and she exhaled as she felt his delicious thick cock enter her. She hadn't noticed or heard when he had tore her pants and lowered his own. She opened her eyes to look into his. Desire. Arousal and desire at its purest was looking back at her. Two very strong emotions and they were because of her. He desires her. She happened to to spot a branch above her and with one hand gripped it. She then angled herself so that she too, could thrust along with him. Continuing to look in his eyes, a wicked gleam came to hers. She had been practicing this skill for about a month just wanting to try it. It was the easiest thing to experiment with. The holonet could be very informative. As she started to match his thrusts she began to squeeze. Ben's eyes widened a fraction before groaning and now bucking with abandon. Rey lost focus and began to get lost in the rhythm of his hips.
His mouth found hers again as he pushed her back into the bark of the tree. Rey let go of the branch and gripped around his neck again so that she was flush against him. They felt the usual spark and thrum of the bond as their climax began to build. Its almost as if the Force orgasmed as well. With the bond wide open and so alive, Rey felt her orgasm first. Ben followed with a groan. Rey relished the feeling of his hot cum spurting into her spasming pussy. It almost intensified her orgasm. The after realizing how his cum intensified her climax, she will never let him cum anywhere but inside of her again. Their breaths began to slow, and Rey let her legs touch the floor. Ben's cock softened and he tucked it away. Rey stood before him with torn pants and cum running down her leg.
"I never knew that about you," Ben commented wryly.
"Hmm...well being with the Resistance, I couldn't very well say that I got off to Kylo Ren could I?" Rey said trying to straighten out the tatters of her pants.
"You got off to Kylo Ren?" Ben questioned raising his eyebrows.
Rey paused and allowed herself to blush. "I need new pants," she said taking off in the direction of their temporary home.
"How many times?" Ben called after her.
"You're getting quite proficient in this," came the voice of the dark side. Fin shrugged and wiped the sweat from his brow.
"We've been doing nothing but this for the past 4 months," Fin commented logically.
"Hmmm...what I can't explain is how you can shield your mind from me as if you've been doing so forever. Mental abilities come naturally to you," the dark side questioned as if with a suspicious brow.
Finn scoffed. "How do you of all things not understand? I hate you. I hate the Force. All of it, including you, is nothing but a tool."
"I feel so cheap," the dark side commented with mock offense. "However, I approve. What other thoughts are you having? All of this practice and training can't be just to spite Kylo Ren. You've been pushing me to expand your skill set," it inquired.
Finn nodded. "Kylo Ren has now become something of a goal along the way."
"To what?"
"I've been feeling a purpose grow within me. There are other Force users out there in my similar circumstances. Beings that have lived morally and been screwed in spite of that," Finn started.
"You wish to recruit apprentices?" the dark side queried with surprise.
"No, not apprentices. Merely others who can see the Force as I do, for what it truly is. Fuck the balance and whatever drivel you and the Jedi spewed. If you have the skill use it. However you want. Want to use it for more good, then do so. What to use it to hold a woman down as you fuck her against her will? Do that too. I won't be there. However these beings don't do these things out of fear. Fear of you. And you're nothing but a voice," Finn mocked.
"You truly are perverse," the dark side remarked, "My only goal is to show force users that there is power in the Force, but to use it with respect. There is a reason to fear the Force."
"There is no reason. You call me perverse, then the Force is my reflection."
"You child. The Force always balances itself. If the dark side rises, eventually a Jedi will rise as well. What you are doing is no exception! There will be another to balance you!" the dark side warned with a raspy anger.
"You must not be as omniscient as the Jedi ghosts," Finn shot back, "There already is someone to balance me. There are two some ones to balance me. And I still don't care."
Finn felt the Darkside quiet for a moment. What the bodiless voice was telling him was nothing new. He had gleaned information of the Force from Rey over the past two years. He knew the basics. But the basics were the foundation were they not? So if one wanted to outsmart or merely ignore the whole of something, you'd start with ignoring the foundation, the branches off of it. Truth of it was that even though Rey and Kylo Ren were still in his plans, they had evolved. He had suffered the injustices of the Force. It was arrogant to think that he was the only one. He was sure there were others that had also felt the brush off. He was going to find them, educate them, and tell them exactly what they needed to hear. They are gifted and instead of rebuking that gift, to use it as they see fit.
There were no rules whatsoever.
He moved his neck around and cracked it. "You are arrogant to think that you can outmaneuver the Force, but I will still aid your endevors. They are too near to the goal of power for me to turn away," came the complying voice of the darkside.
"Fantastic. Its also time I remind Ren of the promise I made him," Finn said.
"Where do you intend to start?" the darkside raspily asked.
"Somewhere that will annoy them. I don't want to over alert them. And I know just where to go."
"Alrigtht thank you for everything."
Rose walked over as she heard the frustrated voice of her husband. She lightly touched her belly as she neared her husband and touched his shoulder. "Still no news?" she asked soothingly.
Poe sighed and took her hand and gave it a kiss. "No. And I am running out of places to look Rose."
"Maybe its time we let this go. If he wanted to talk to us or if he wanted to be found he would," Rey quelled.
"He was hurt Rose. The woman he loved and was set to marry ran off with her presumeably dead boyfriend. And that by itself has its own questions," Poe groused. He turned in his chair and hugged his wife's hips. He gave her protruding belly a small kiss.
"As much as I want to see what a little us is going to look like, I didn't imagine anything like this happening. I always thought Finn would be right there next to me when we started having kids. I want my brother to get to know him," Poe said as he kissed his growing son again. Rose ran her hands through her husband's hair lovingly.
"We both did, but...now don't get mad at me Poe, but have you thought of things from not your perspective," she started carefully.
Poe pulled back and quirked a brow. "No, but I am beginning to think you have."
"Don't give me that 'I'm a traitor' tone, I'm just speculating!" Rose defended, "But have you thought about everything Rey has gone through? I know, I know Kylo Ren is the scourge of the galaxy, but love think about this: Kylo Ren did have to come from the dead to be with Rey, Rey did almost kill herself because she loves this man so- AND- and she was always honest with Finn about not being in love with him," Rose said with a 'let's think about this logically' vibe.
Poe let go of his wife and set his lips in a thin line. He could appreciate her logic, and truthfully he had thought of this whenever he saw how beautiful his wife looked pregnant. Knowing that this is what Kylo Ren felt for Rey did not make things easier. The monster had feelings. He felt his cute wife cup his face to make him look at her.
"Aaaand...if it weren't for Kylo Ren, we wouldn't be togther. He wouldn't exist," she said rubbing her belly. At this Poe completely deflated. As much as he loathed Kylo Ren, he loved this tiny cute woman even more. Falling in love with Rose was unprecedented. Poe had no problem living his bachelor life. But when he had been stuck outside the door of the Raddus it was this tiny woman who had saved his ass. After that it was seeing her doing odd jobs around the Resistance base. Then when is own ship's gun started to fail, it turns out she was the best gunner and fixer of. From there the rest was history. He had become enamored with how resilient this girl, woman, was. She did not have the Force, but she was still...special.
He stood and though he wasn't a very tall man, Rose was a tiny Asian woman. He was a good head above her. He cupped her face in return and kissed her warm lips, her belly now bumpy enough to touch his abdomen. "You do not play fair woman."
"So...do think maybe...we can let the past go? Not waste energy on that? I'm kinda making a human here that will require our full attention in a few short months," Rey asked gently.
Poe sighed and then tsked. "Forget? Maybe, but I don't know about forgiving Rose. Yes, everything you said has merit, but it doesn't change the facts. I won't hold grudges, but don't expect more out of me than that. I want to find my brother. I want him here with us," he said looking down towards his son. Rose smiled and pecked her husband's lips.
"You are so easy," she commented as she kissed him again before he could retaliate.
I hope this story is doing well. Let me know your thoughts please. Drop a review.