They almost lost the semifinals.
Why? Well, it certainly wasn't because the other team was that good. No, it was because Kiriko knew Valen was out there in the audience and the thought of him now made her stomach twist and churn nervously.
"What's with you?" Cho asked after the narrow victory. "You seemed really off your game."
"Oh, don't mind her," Anisa said with a smirk. "She's just out of sorts because I made her go out drinking and clubbing last night. And she can't admit how much fun she had."
"Aren't you two a little young for that…?" Niwen asked, eyebrow cocked.
Anisa planted a hand on her hip. "We're not that young. Anyway, we'll be legal next summer so I don't see what difference it makes."
Niwen and Cho exchanged sideways glances and Kiriko cringed. While the articles featuring both of them seemed to focus on her, Anisa's antics popped up every now and then. The general consensus was that she was kind of spoiled.
"Why don't you two go out first?" Kiriko suggested to diffuse the situation. Tension was the last thing they needed before the finals match tomorrow. Fortunately, it seemed to perk them up.
She was content to hang back and let the others have the spotlight, if only because her thoughts were full of other things. She'd barely been able to revel in the cheering crowd after their victory. It had felt amazing, of course, as it always did, but she couldn't stop wondering where Valen was. Was he looking at her?
As the night before, they met up with friends and family afterward. She surreptitiously looked for him, but he was nowhere to be found.
Why do I even care? she grumbled to herself. He's probably somewhere with Kyori. Making out or something. The thought left her with a sour aftertaste and another, more stubborn voice said, Or maybe they broke up and he's sad. You never know…
But on their way out of the stadium, she spotted them near one of the outer doors. Her stomach flopped over when her eyes landed on that smile , which was of course directed at his girlfriend.
She didn't speak at all on the ride home. Her stomach hurt and her chest burned and her head ached. She didn't even raid the fridge for a snack before bed, as was her usual habit. No appetite.
"What's the matter with you?" Anisa said as she got dressed for another clandestine outing. "You look terrible."
"I don't feel well."
"PMSing?"
"No."
"Well, sleep it off, then. I want you at your best for finals tomorrow."
"Same. You better not drink too much."
Once she was alone, Kiriko slowly undressed and stared at herself critically in the mirror. There were dark purple bags under her amber eyes and her skin was a sallow pale. Sharp eyebrows pulled down into a faint frown. How could Valen or anyone else find any of that attractive?
Below the neck was even worse. Underwear and a sports bra covered the parts of her that she couldn't bear to look at right now. The first hid a barely pubescent groin while the second was still an unnecessary piece of clothing. It had only been bought out of pity, she was sure.
From shoulders to hips to ankles, she could draw a straight line. And while all of these things had certainly bothered her for years, never before had they made her feel such deep self-loathing.
He'll never see me. Not like he sees her.
In a burst of panic and frustration, Kiriko picked up the closest thing within reach—which was a hairbrush—and chucked it at the mirror. The dull thud it made was wholly unsatisfying, though it did at least shatter the reflection into several disjointed pieces.
She quickly finished getting ready for bed, turned out the light, and curled up under the covers. A few angry tears leaked out and trying to stop them only made more come until she was in a tight ball, silently shaking.
Is this what a crush is? Is this what it feels like? Because I hate it. It's awful and I hate it. It's going to make me lose the finals match. And there's nothing I can do about it. Everything sucks.
Her world was coming to a sad end, then and there. Everything in it was wrong and there was no happiness left to be found in anything.
Some small, deep voice of rationality told her that none of that was true, but the teenage turmoil in her head drowned it out for a good hour or so until the meltdown ran its course, leaving her feeling empty and numb. Exhaustion won soon after and she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
When morning came, bright and cold, Anisa was passed out next to her. Kiriko slid out of bed, careful not to wake her, and quickly got dressed. A few deep breaths summoned heat to ripple across her skin and banish the chill. It wasn't until she was about to leave the room that her eye caught the cracked mirror.
Spirits, I'm an idiot, she complained, embarrassed now. I'm sixteen, not six.
The hairbrush was still there on the floor near the mirror's feet. When she straightened after picking it up, she was close enough to see a mostly intact reflection of her face. The soft light of morning gave it a gentle glow. Her hand came up to brush across the smooth skin and fine angle of her cheekbones.
The melancholy face that looked back at her was far from ugly, she acknowledged, knowing it was the unvarnished truth. Many had said it over the years; Raniq had tried her hardest to convince her. And last night, she'd thrown a stupid, childish tantrum. It left her feeling oddly guilty. And a little angry, too.
It's his fault. He got me all twisted up inside.
But she was determined not to let any of it affect her chances of winning the championship finals. Pro-bending was far more important than boys. She was just going to have to ignore Valen until this stupid crush went away.
"Here it is, folks: The moment you've been waiting for all season—the culmination of bitter defeats and glorious victories—the pro-bending championship finals! For the first time in over a decade, we have two undefeated teams vying for the ultimate win!"
A raucous cheer erupted from the packed stands. It felt just like the first time, but a thousand times better. From her position in the wings, Kiriko wondered if she'd ever get tired of this moment—if the rush would ever fade and become routine.
She hoped not.
"Now put your hands together and welcome everyone's favorite rookie team: the Republic City Polar Bear Dogs!"
Bright lights. Screaming fans. She swore she could hear Korra shouting in the sea of voices. Kiriko grinned and waved at her family's box, just like she had at every match. Valen's face flitted across her awareness and she shoved it away.
He doesn't deserve me, anyway. One day I'll have guys falling all over themselves to get to me and I'll have my pick. Surely at least one of them will catch my interest.
"And here are your defending champions: The Riala Island Rhinorillas!"
Because of the way the pro-bending was structured, Kiriko had never fought this team. The tournament organizers did everything in their power to keep the best teams—those likely to make it to the finals—from facing off beforehand.
Anything could happen.
DING
"Aaand they're off! The Rhinorillas aren't going to let the Polar Bear Dogs catch them unawares, that's for sure! Clearly, they've done their homework. Quick shot from Tuko and– oof, that's gotta hurt!"
Kiriko swore and rolled across the ring to defend Niwen while she caught her breath after taking a disc to the stomach.
"I'm good, I'm good," Niwen said after a few seconds on one knee.
"Looks like Kiriko won't put up with that!" the announcer called when she managed to knock Tuko back into zone three.
Unfortunately, the small victory was short-lived. The Rhinorillas unleashed a series of aggressive attacks that pushed both Niwen and Cho back into zone two. Ten seconds later, Anisa joined them.
Shit!
All four opponents were now focusing their attention on Kiriko. If they pushed her over the line, they'd win round one for sure. Before she could come up with a strategy to both hold them off and try to gain a little ground, no less than six rapid-fire discs flew at her alongside a corkscrew of water.
The only way to avoid being knocked off her feet was to conjure an enormous wall of fire to shield herself, but the impact was enough to push her backward across the line.
"And the Rhinorillas move into Polar Bear Dog territory with a truly vicious attack–"
DING
"Round one goes to the Rhinorillas!"
Kiriko put her hands up in a T; they couldn't have another round like that.
"Time out!" the ref called. "You have two minutes."
They all huddled up; it was clear now that Niwen was hurt.
"I think my rib's cracked," she said through clenched teeth when Kiriko asked. "Shit, I feel like an idiot for taking that hit."
"Anisa, can you–"
"Way ahead of you!" she said, already pulling water from a trough. "I'll do as much as I can, but two minutes isn't much."
"I think we should pull a Desni."
The others looked at her skeptically.
"I dunno…" Cho said. "What if we lose the coin toss? They'll pick air, for sure."
"Not necessarily. Their airbender is their weakest link."
"He's also not injured."
Kiriko shook her head sharply. "Look, I know it's a gamble, but I think it's our best shot to give us a breather. Anisa, can you keep healing from a distance if we do a Desni?"
"I can try… No promises. But I think this is a bad idea."
"Alright. Let's do it."
"Looks like the Polar Bear Dogs made good use of their time out with an impromptu healing session," the announcer called while they reset for the next round with Anisa hanging close to Niwen.
"Rooouund two!"
DING
"Well, look at this, folks! I do believe the Polar Bear Dogs are employing a bold strategy made famous by legendary pro-bending champion Riso Desni!"
For three minutes, none of them threw any attacks at the opposing team. They'd practiced this many times, to be used as a last resort. All they had to do was run out the clock without being knocked back. Kiriko, being the most agile, was the point woman while the others crossed back and forth behind her. The main goal was to protect Niwen and Anisa.
"The Rhinorillas are getting frustrated! They can't make contact! I don't think I've ever seen this strategy executed so seamlessly! Desni himself would be proud."
After what seemed like an eternity, the buzzer dinged to signal the end of the round. Kiriko fell to her knees, winded from the effort. Still, she had a lot of juice left for bending. All she needed was a minute or so to catch her breath…
"Round two is a tie!" the ref said. "Captains, approach for the coin toss."
For once, Anisa didn't push her way forward to have equal standing with Kiriko. Instead, she hung back to keep healing Niwen.
The coin flew through the air. Spinning. Spinning.
It landed on the back of the ref's hand and he slapped it flat.
"Blue team wins the coin toss!"
Fuck.
"Which element do you choose?"
The captain of the other team was a woman named Shazi. A firebender. She shot a smug look at Kiriko and said. "Fire."
Kiriko held her head high and tried to slough off the fatigue. I can do this. I'm better than her.
Everyone else backed up and left them alone in the center platform as it began to rise.
"This is going to be some tie-breaker, folks! We've got two firebending masters, two pro-bending captains. One veteran, one fresh-faced youth. I'm quaking in my boots here! If Shazi wins the tie-breaker, the Polar Bear Dogs will need a knockout to win the match."
The usual noise from the crowd had dropped off into almost nothing. It felt like they were all collectively holding their breaths.
Kiriko fell into a stance, mere feet away from her opponent. She'd practiced her tie-breaker move more than almost anything else, as had the rest of her team. She was ready for this.
DING
Shazi moved unpredictably and Kiriko was forced to improvise at the last second. Rather than the move she'd practiced, her muscles were diverted into another technique—not even bending. It was a self-defense move Asami had taught her years ago.
She dropped like a stone, narrowly avoiding the lightning-fast attack, and hooked her foot around Shazi's ankle. It made her opponent stumble just enough for Kiriko to roll onto her back and fire-punch Shazi off the platform.
In an instant, the crowd was on their feet, absolutely rabid.
"Kiriko! Kiriko! Kirikoooo!"
She lay there on her back for a moment and basked. The golden dome above her was just like it had been when Korra brought her and Anisa there before the season kicked off, except now the crowd was shouting her name.
Does it get any better than this?
"The Polar Bear Dogs win round two! And wow, what a tie-breaker! Looks like Kiriko's taking a little breather from that intense moment…"
She instantly flung herself onto her feet in one swift motion; the crowd seemed to love that and she grinned as she returned to her teammates.
"Man, I thought she had you," Cho said. "Looked like you pulled that out of your ass."
"Yeah, pretty much. You all good now?" Kiriko asked them as they set for the final round. "Nice and rested up?"
"Yeah, we got this!" Niwen said confidently. "I feel a lot better."
Tired as she was, Kiriko was fueled by the crowd. Her whole family was there—just about everyone she knew and loved—cheering her on. Even the thought of Valen out there somewhere didn't fill her with frustration. It just made her feel more powerful. He may be unattainable, but she liked him and that meant something.
It meant that she was moving forward. Growing up. The rest would come.
"Roooond three!"
DING
"Wo-owww! Look at them go! The Desni gamble seems to have paid off for the Polar Bear Dogs. They're fresh and rested while the Rhinorillas are running out of steam."
I'm the best. I'm the best.
No one can beat me on my turf.
The raised voices of hundreds of people were inside her now. They lifted her up and made her light as a feather. Her feet barely touched the ground.
And the fire within was now a raging storm.
Kiriko was pulling out all the stops, not holding back one iota of her full strength. The crowd no longer existed. The announcer's calls were lost to her. All she could feel were her teammates at her side and back; all she could see were the four enemies in front of her.
The fear in their eyes.
They were going to lose, and they now knew it.
"IT'S A KNOCKOUT!"
Those three words exploded in her mind like lightning and suddenly the flashes of cameras from the stands appeared in Kiriko's eyes like a million stars.
"The Polar Bear Dogs win the championship! And boy, was that a fantastic win! This is one for the history books, folks!"
His voice was nearly drowned out by the crowd's roar and by Kiriko's own voice as she and her teammates met in the center and celebrated, whooping and hugging and shaking their fists in the air.
It was surely the best night of her entire life. How could anything ever top this?
The massive party at the Sato house lasted until sunrise, though Kiriko passed out on a patio bench long before that. She woke to the feeling of being carried upstairs. It took her a minute to figure out that it was Mako.
He put her in her bed and tucked her in like she was a child. An old, old memory swirled through her sleepy mind, of an impromptu sleepover at his little apartment. She didn't remember the circumstances, other than that both of her moms had needed to go somewhere with little notice.
She and Anisa had sweet-talked him into letting them stay up late and eat junk food. It ended with him carrying her to bed with a stomachache. She had a vague memory of waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and tripping over him where he slept in a pile of blankets on the floor next to the bed.
He'd always been an uncle to her, never a parent. That was how it had been her whole life and she had rarely felt like she was missing out on anything—only a couple times, when she was young, and schoolmates had questioned her and Anisa about the situation. She didn't resent him for it. He had his place on the periphery of her life and everything was fine.
But…this was nice. For just a moment, she had three parents. Were they all there in the room? She wasn't sure. It was dark and she was so, so sleepy. But Anisa was there next to her; that much she knew. Soft voices on the edges of her awareness carried her into oblivion.
The next day was happy and lazy. There was nothing left to do—no schoolwork, no practice, no rehearsals—though that last part was bittersweet. The New Year's Gala was just around the corner and it would be the first time Kiriko would miss the dance.
Still, it was impossible not to enjoy the afterglow of her victory. Her grandparents and Kya were still in town, scheduled to leave the next morning, and everyone sat around eating, playing cards or pai sho, and watching replays of the finals match on television.
"Man, we were so awesome," she said around a mouthful of fire flakes.
"Niwen was a real trooper," Asami said, "pushing through with that injury."
"And that was some fancy healing," Korra said with an affectionate jab at Anisa's shoulder. "I was impressed."
"Spirits, I was so stressed out! I wanted to kill you for making us pull a Desni!" she added to Kiriko with a laugh. "Do you know how hard it is to heal with no direct contact and not get hit?"
"Well, it worked didn't it?"
A ripple of laughter floated around the room.
"So, what will you do with your prize money?" Tonraq asked.
A dozen reporters had asked them the same question.
"Well, Cho and Niwen will get their shares, of course," Anisa said. "I haven't fully decided what to do with mine, but definitely some shopping is in order."
Kiriko saw her moms give each other a significant glance, though they said nothing. She wasn't sure what to do with hers, either. What did she really need it for, anyway? All of her needs were seen to and she had little care for material possessions.
"The reporters who asked us seemed to think that it should go to a good cause," she said with a wry edge to her voice. And she mostly agreed with them, even if there was a small part of her that stubbornly wanted to keep it just because they'd implied that she didn't deserve it. I worked really hard and earned it, just like everyone else who's ever won it. Maybe… Maybe I could save it and use it to open a firebending gym after I graduate.
"An expensive new bag sounds like a 'good cause', to me," Anisa said. "Among other things."
The subject was changed after that, but it came up again the next afternoon once their guests had left and everything went back to a normal routine. Kiriko and Anisa were watching television when Asami walked in.
"Girls, can you come into my office, please?"
Kiriko glanced at her sister with apprehension. Why did it sound like they were in trouble? They usually only had family meetings in their mom's office when their behavior needed correcting.
They got up with a sigh and followed Asami. Four chairs were arranged to face each other; Korra was already in one.
Oh, this can't be good.
Before Asami sat down, she picked up a file folder from her desk. "There are things about being in the public eye that we've shielded you two from," she began. "One of those things is that we have contacts in the media who will let us know about anything scandalous that crops up, so that we can refute the truth of it, or at least prepare ourselves for the fallout, should the stories get published."
"Why don't you just pay them off?" Anisa asked flippantly, though Kiriko could tell she was nervous. Her attitude always came out the worst in those situations.
"Because that would be illegal. What we do is already borderline unethical, but it's necessary because most of the things that are brought to our attention aren't even true."
"However…" Korra said, taking the folder from Asami. She pulled out several pages, including a photo of Anisa and Kiriko dancing at the club; Arun and Nik were also in the frame, though the latter wasn't facing the camera. The photographer had managed to capture a moment when Kiriko's hood had fallen down.
Korra began to read from one of the papers: "'Avatar Korra's underage daughters were spotted dancing at Shay Zin nightclub after the pro-bending quarterfinals. An anonymous source revealed that a large bribe got them in the back door; another said that both girls were served alcohol. Nightclub owner Wen Ling declined to comment.' "
By that point, Kiriko was sweating. She felt sick. And that feeling only grew when both of her moms looked at her with disappointment.
"Technically, Nik bribed the bouncer," Anisa said in a weak voice.
Asami frowned at her. "That's really not the point, is it?"
"Is–" Kiriko had to stop and clear her throat. "Is it going to be published?"
Korra nodded gravely. "It is. Tomorrow. It won't be on the front page of anything, but lots of people will still see it."
"Hardly the first time I've wound up in the papers for something like this…" Anisa muttered, slumped in her seat as if she were bored.
For her part, Kiriko wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them protectively.
"If you think that makes this any better," Asami said sharply, "you're wrong. This behavior has to stop." Her gaze turned to Kiriko, who shrunk in on herself. "And now you, too? What were you thinking?"
The memory of that night poured in. It had surprisingly been a blast. Innocent fun. What had she done that was so wrong? Just one drink and a bit of dancing. Nothing scandalous or dangerous. The meek apology that would've normally come next refused to pass her lips.
"We had just won," she said defiantly instead. "All we wanted was to have a little fun to celebrate. I don't see what's so bad about it."
"Really?" Korra said. "You don't see what's wrong with sneaking out in the middle of the night when you're sixteen? You can't think of a single thing that's wrong with that scenario? With us now having to go to sleep every night, wondering if you'll both be safe in your beds come morning?"
The pain behind the anger in her words quickly eroded Kiriko's defiance and she swallowed hard. All she could think of was how much she worried whenever Korra had to go do Avatar stuff—lying in bed, unable to sleep for fear that something bad might happen.
Stubborn pride kept her from saying anything. All she could do was stare at her knees.
"In light of the fact that reporters have made a point to ask you two about the prize money," Asami said, "we've decided that it will go to charities of your choosing."
The shame from only moments ago was suddenly burned away by indignation. "That's not fair! I only went out once! Ever! Anisa went both nights and she's been doing this crap for ages! Why should we get the same punishment? I worked really hard to win that money!"
Anisa was simultaneously pleading her own case with just as much fervor, though when she realized Kiriko was throwing her under the bus, they started arguing.
"I've already been punished for those–!"
"I didn't even want to go out! I only did it because you pressured–!"
"Bullshit! I didn't make you do–!"
"Hey! HEY!" Korra shouted, forming her hands into a T. "Time out! Everyone be quiet!"
Kiriko snapped her mouth shut, both angry and abashed. There was a brief, tense silence before Korra continued in a more measured voice.
"Giving the money away is not the punishment. It's damage control. Do you really want people to think that you'll be using your prize money to bribe people into giving you whatever you want?"
That brought Kiriko up short. It hadn't even crossed her mind.
"It wasn't even–" Anisa began, but she was cut off.
"It doesn't matter who physically handed over the money. No one who reads the article is going to make that distinction. All they'll see is two spoiled rich girls who throw money around like it's nothing."
The words cut deep. Kiriko's eyes began to burn with angry, embarrassed tears. She wanted to be known for being the best pro-bender ever, not for that.
"Which brings us to the actual punishment," Korra continued soberly. "Anisa. Is it true that you went out both nights?"
"...Yes."
"Thank you for being honest. To make things fair, you'll have to do extra volunteer time. That's how you two will spend the rest of winter break, until you've completed the assigned hours."
Anisa threw her head back with an annoyed groan, but Kiriko just nodded. It could've been worse. She didn't mind volunteering, and since she wasn't dancing this year, she didn't have anything else to do.
Still, she found she was more disappointed than expected about the other consequence. "I was going to save my prize money to open a business after I graduated…" she muttered. "Teaching firebending or something like that."
"When have we ever given you the impression that we wouldn't help with business ventures?" Asami asked, her voice less sharp than before.
Kiriko shrugged, avoiding her eyes. "It's not about the money. I just feel like I worked really hard and did something awesome, and something I earned is being taken away from me, and I don't get any say."
"Yeah, exactly!" Anisa interjected. "That's what I'm saying!"
A tired sigh came from Korra and Kiriko glanced up at her to see a familiar stubborn expression.
"Have you two forgotten where that money came from? Us. It came from us. It never belonged to you, and its purpose is to be a salary for those who make pro-bending their career. It's their job. Some don't have any other income during pro-bending season, and even the sponsored teams often rely on the prize money. That's not the case with you two, and since you're minors, we're legally allowed to either put it in a trust fund, invest it, or donate it to charity in your names."
"That's a stupid law…" Anisa grumbled.
Korra continued as if she hadn't spoken. "And if you both think that the money was the most important part of your victory, then we've failed as parents."
"I don't think that," Kiriko said quickly. "Really. I would've done everything to win even if there was no prize money." She glanced over at Anisa, hoping she'd agree.
After a couple of seconds, she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, me too. It felt good to win."
"We are proud of both of you," Asami said. "That's why it hurt us so much to find out about you two sneaking out in the middle of the night. And from strangers, no less."
"But," Korra said pointedly. "We remember what it's like to be teenagers. We know you two can protect yourselves out in the world, which is why you're doing extra volunteer hours instead of being grounded. We just want to know where you are and who you're with, okay?"
"So…we can stay out late and do what we want as long as we tell you first?" Anisa said hopefully.
"I did not say that." But Korra seemed to be hiding mild amusement now. "You're still underage. That means no sneaking into nightclubs and no drinking without supervision."
The funny thing was that Kiriko felt a sudden longing for her seventeenth birthday. Could it be that she actually wanted to go out with Anisa again? It had been pretty fun… Maybe not something she wanted to do all the time, but it might be nice every now and then.
Maybe Valen will come and I can get to know him a little better, and one day he and Kyori might break up…
The thought manifested before she could stop it. Not that it was the first time he'd crossed her mind since finals night. During that time, she'd decided to just keep her head down and see if these new feelings faded away. It wasn't like he'd ever be interested in her right now anyway, even if he were single. He was a man and she… Well, she wasn't a child, but also not a woman. Some kind of awkward in-between creature.
"Uh, hellooo?"
Anisa's voice broke her out of her reverie and she had to blink a couple of times. Everyone was looking at her curiously.
"Huh? What?"
"What in the world were you daydreaming about?"
"Same thing I'm always daydreaming about," she lied. "Pro-bending."
Kiriko smashed her blaring alarm clock and rubbed her crusty eyes with a groan. While she normally looked forward to the first day of a new school year—it was always easy introductory stuff, plus she got to see her friends—today she just wasn't feeling it.
It's my last first day, she mused. But all I want to do is sleep…
With one final sigh, she pushed back the covers. Despite central heating in the whole house, her room was chilly thanks to the bitter cold outside. They were deep into winter now, thick snow coating the ground, and she was honestly kind of over it.
Spring couldn't come fast enough. It would quickly lead into summer and her seventeenth birthday, followed by a new pro-bending season. She desperately hoped that, since her team was already so good, maybe they could have fewer practices and she'd be able to dance this year, too.
She sat on the edge of her bed for a few seconds and yawned before picking up the box that had her birth control pills. While they had apparently made her a bit grouchier—according to everyone else, anyway—the benefits had proven to greatly outweigh any side effects.
Something about the sheet of tiny pills made her stop and look at it more closely. Was there one missing?
I probably just miscounted…
It was far too early for her to care or worry about doing math, so she took one and went about her day.
That first week of school was kind of a nightmare. Nik had found the article about them going dancing, made dozens of copies, and proudly taped them up everywhere. Kiriko clearly remembered the moment that had been immortalized on film: He had come over and said something to her but his voice was totally drowned out by the music. Eventually, they'd both shrugged and gone back to dancing.
She hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but apparently he was giving the story a different spin. They had several classes together and Kiriko heard half a dozen other guys congratulate him on his achievement.
"Nice one, bro. Didn't think anyone would bag that."
It wasn't until it had happened a few times that she realized what was going on.
"You're such an asshole," she seethed. "Seriously, what is wrong with you?"
"What?" he protested with a stupid grin. "It's a great picture! Look at you go! Having the time of your life! Don't lie. I know you had fun."
To the onlookers, she said, "We were out with a group and he just happened to be standing next to me. I wouldn't go on a date with him if he was the last guy on Earth!"
"Burn!" someone else said with a laugh. "Ice Queen wins again."
She turned around slowly. "What did you just call me?"
He chuckled nervously. "Er… Nothing. Actually, I just remembered I have a thing…"
"Yeah, you better run!" Kiriko turned back to Nik and grabbed him by the lapels while the other hand held a flame near his face. He had the gall to wink at her with a cocky half-smile. "Why did he call me that?" she demanded.
"I didn't start it, if that's what you're worried about. But I assume it refers to how you freeze out any guy who shows the slightest interest in you. But don't worry. I always defend you. I tell them you're probably just a lesbian like your moms."
If anyone else had said that to her, she would've hit them so hard they wouldn't have been able to walk straight for a week. But there was no sneer in his voice, no mocking tone. He was being sincere, for once. Nik was many things; while a jackass was certainly one of them, a bigot was not.
She pushed him away and let the fire die. "First of all, they're not lesbians. They're bisexual. Get it right. Second of all, it just so happens that I do like guys, and that none of you immature jerks are anywhere close to being in my league."
There was a flicker of something in his eyes that she didn't bother trying to interpret. Instead, she just stalked off and tried to ignore the pictures everywhere. While the attention from pro-bending had certainly made the guys at her school notice her more than before, this madness was on a whole other level. It was exhausting and she was over it.
The weekend finally arrived and she was grateful to get away from it all for a couple of days. Unfortunately, the drama at home proved to be far worse.
Kiriko was just about to go to bed when she noticed the square sheet of pills on the floor by her bedside table. It wasn't until she picked it up that she realized the entire thing was empty. Every single pill was gone.
"What…the fuck?"
A few seconds of complete confusion led her to the only rational explanation: Anisa must have done something with them to mess with her. What else could it be?
On the way to her sister's room, she was stopped by a disgusting retching sound coming through the bathroom. The anger turned suddenly to concern. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute but none of them made any sense.
"Anisa? Is that you? What's wrong? Are you sick?" She couldn't stop the rapid-fire questions. They and many others needed to be answered right now.
But the noise stopped and there was no response, so she turned the knob and pushed the door open, a little surprised that it wasn't locked. Anisa was on the floor with her head resting on the toilet seat, sobbing.
"What–? What's wrong?" She had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, a sense of awful foreboding. Her legs weakened without warning and she slid down the wall to the cold floor. "Did you– Did you take my birth control pills?"
Anisa just nodded and wiped her nose on her sleeve.
"Why?"
A fresh wave of tears kept her from answering right away. "M-my period's late."
Kiriko was sure her heart stopped for a second. And yet, in spite of the shock of those words, she felt like some part of her had known where this conversation was heading. "You and Arun…? You, uh… You had sex?"
"Only a few times."
Anisa took a shaky breath and reached up to flush the toilet, which was a huge relief because what was in it smelled terrible. It seemed like her meltdown was losing steam now that she'd decided to talk about the situation.
"The last time…" she muttered with her face on her forehead, "the condom broke. I took one of your pills right after, hoping it might help."
"That's stupid," Kiriko blurted. "You know there are special pills for that kind of thing. If you'd just told–"
"How could I tell them?" Anisa demanded, though quietly, as a few more tears rolled down her cheeks. "After what happened last month? They'd be so mad and disappointed. I just…keep fucking up."
"At least they would help. But you need to tell them now! It can't be safe to take two weeks' worth of birth control pills in one go."
She just shook her head and wiped her face again. "I threw them all up. I panicked as soon as I took them and made myself throw up." Another shaky breath; she looked about ready to break down again. "And now…my life is officially over."
"It's not over. But you still need to tell them." When she got no response, she added, "If you don't, I will. Because I'm really scared right now."
They just sat there in silence for a minute or so. Despite the threat, Kiriko was reluctant to actually get up and follow through. She would eventually, if it came to that, though it would take some time to work up the nerve.
But to her surprise, Anisa pushed to her feet and took a deep breath. "I'll tell them."
Kiriko took her hand and gave it a squeeze; together, they walked down the hall until they stood before the double doors of their moms' bedroom.
"Do you want me to come in with you?"
There was a moment of hesitation, followed by, "No. I think I want to go in alone."
She reached up and knocked on the door. Korra opened it a few seconds later.
"What's up– Spirits, what's wrong?"
Kiriko just looked at her, unsure of what expression was on her face. Whatever it was had clearly alarmed her mom. But before anything else could be said, Anisa lunged forward into Korra's arms and started crying again.
"What's happened?"
From across the room, Asami asked. "What in the world is going on?"
The air seemed thicker than usual. Hazy. Kiriko simply turned around and walked back to her room. The door shut behind her, muffling the sounds of crying and soft voices. It was a relief; she didn't want to hear any of it.
The walk back to her own bedroom seemed endless—an expanding corridor that grew longer with every step.
And then, quite suddenly, she was curled up in her bed. In the dark. The house was so, so quiet. Her pounding heart drowned out any small nighttime noises.
It was so wrong. All of this was so wrong. How could this be happening? They were just kids. Kids who wanted to act like adults. The world was spinning out of control. She wasn't ready for any of it.
That settles it: I'm never having sex. Never ever.
Morning came slowly. Kiriko didn't want to get out of bed and face the day. Since it was the weekend, there was no rush to get up. And so she lay there until her bladder gave her no choice. After that need was dealt with, her stomach was the next to demand immediate attention.
Anisa was sitting at the breakfast table eating cereal with her head down and shoulders slumped. A nervous ripple shot through Kiriko's gut and she wordlessly got herself a bowl before sitting down.
The tense silence in the room was unbearable.
"So, uh… How did it go?"
"Mom took me to the doctor this morning," Anisa said in a small voice. Smaller than her voice had ever been. Her eyes remained trained on her breakfast. "The test was negative… But… The doctor said it's not that accurate this early on, so she's going to do a blood test. I have to wait until later to find out."
"Well… I guess that's kind of good news…"
"I guess."
She looked so despondent. It made Kiriko almost completely lose her appetite. Anisa was a cheerful, bubbly girl with an attitude that could break even the most stubborn person. This depressed shell of a person wasn't her at all.
"Thanks for helping me last night," she murmured, still not making eye contact. "Mom got you some more pills."
"Hopefully she got you some, too," Kiriko said with a bit of snark, hoping it would lighten the mood.
But the response was just as deadpan as everything else Anisa had said. "Yeah. But I can't take them yet."
For the vast majority of Kiriko's life, she had harbored varying degrees of jealousy for her sister. There was a lot of love there, too, but it seemed like everything came easily to Anisa and she was usually ungrateful for it.
All of those feelings were gone, even if only for this moment. The despair on Anisa's face left no room for anything but pity.
"Hey," Kiriko said gently. "It's going to be okay. Whatever happens, it'll be okay, even if it doesn't feel like it right now." The words felt empty but she didn't know what else to say. "You're not alone, okay?
Finally, Anisa looked up with unshed tears in her eyes. She didn't seem encouraged at all. "I know. Thanks."
It was probably the longest day of Kiriko's life. The house was so, so quiet. No one spoke unless they had to, and even then in hushed tones. She could see the worry in her moms' eyes even though they tried to hide it.
Anisa spent most of the day alone in her room with the door locked. A couple of times, Kiriko had knocked and asked her if she needed anything, but received no response.
Finally, in the middle of the afternoon, the phone rang in the heavy silence. She rushed into the room just as Asami answered it. She could only stand there and watch. Heart racing. Palms sweating. Fully invested.
Asami's tight expression relaxed into unmasked relief. "Thank you so much for doing this on your day off," she said into the phone. "It really means a lot."
Kiriko froze, on the verge of celebrating but wanting to make a hundred percent sure first. "Well?" she demanded as soon as Asami hung up the phone. "What did she say?"
"It was negative. Why don't you go give Anisa the good–"
The rest of her sentence was drowned out by a loud WHOOP from Kiriko, who sprinted upstairs. "Anisa! Anisa! Guess what?! You're not pregnant!"
The door opened just as she reached it.
"What? The doctor called?" Anisa asked with wary skepticism.
"Yep! The test was negative! You're home free!"
Her face instantly crumpled and she covered it with her hands before leaning against the doorframe and sliding down to the floor.
Kiriko knelt down to join her, a little thrown off by the reaction. "Uh…that's a good thing, right?"
"Duh." Anisa put her hands down to reveal a tear-stained face, though that despair from earlier was gone. Her eyes now shone with renewed hope. "Fuck. I've never been so relieved in my life."
"Yeah, me neither."
Anisa scoffed, clearly back to her usual snarky self. "What are you so relieved for? It wouldn't have affected you."
"Are you kidding? Of course it would have! You're my sister. I hated seeing you like this."
"So you didn't fantasize about being the favorite golden child while I was the fuck-up?" she asked with a wry, self-deprecating twist to her mouth.
"No," Kiriko said simply, surprised by the question. "Do– Do you really think that?"
"Feels like it sometimes."
"Maybe it's because you're constantly breaking the rules and getting in trouble." She couldn't help but laugh a little. All the tension from before was screaming to be let out. "Hey, let's do something. This has been a shit day and I need to get some energy out. You wanna spar?"
Anisa sighed and started to get up. "Why do I feel like you just want an excuse to kick my ass for ruining your weekend?"
Kiriko couldn't hold it in anymore and jumped up to hug her sister as hard as she could. It wasn't as good an outlet as bending, but it helped to ease some of the pressure.
"Okay, ow, you're crushing me."
"Deal with it."
A second later, her own ribs were being squeezed and she didn't even care that it hurt.
"Love you, Sis," Anisa murmured, almost too quietly to be heard.