Two days. It had been two days.

Food was half eaten and pushed around her plate where it sat, discarded. A crown of flowers laid at her bedside table, fondly wreathed around a glass full of cosmos, bloomed and beautiful despite the ill-season.

Her short hair was haphazard as it fell in loose tendrils around her soft jaw, nothing to hold the stray strands in place. She stared out the window watching morning melt into day; the sun veiled beneath grey clouds which threatened another dusting of snow over the subdued village.

She was dressed as he remembered her; wrapped in papery white and looking so incredibly small. A needle remained taped at the crook of her elbow as it led its plastic tubing to a transparent bag of fluids above her head.

Sasuke didn't really know what it all meant, the machines, the equipment; only that there were still bruises on her skin that ordinarily would've been wiped away. And that hidden just out of sight was the mark he had left on her in very real terms. The image hadn't left him. When he saw her last, his eyes had been driven to that red stain and now he couldn't stop thinking about how it came to be there.

He had marked her. Physically harmed her. Almost killed her, again. He was no better than the filth who had dared to scar her in the first place. Sasuke curled his hand into a tight fist. But he didn't look away.

The dog on Sakura's lap hummed and lifted its head as he took a step forward, but Sasuke only had eyes for her. Harried thoughts were presenting themselves to him every second he spent studying her under red-toned eyes; some familiar, some dangerous.

He was held ransom by her in ways he couldn't really put into words – had been for years, since she first split the earth in the Fourth war and carried onwards like it was nothing. From there it had become a continuous cycle of attempting to relearn Haruno Sakura. Over and over she'd taken his perception of her and flipped his entire world on its head with no less than a sharp smile and a deadly flick of her finger. Her strength, her compassion, her fire, her grace… her beauty. And he had turned each and every aspect of her over and over in his mind, and preserved it like a precious keepsake.

Like the selfish child he was, Sasuke had taken all that Sakura had shown him and concluded somewhere along the way that it was his to covet.

Then he'd disappeared for four years and left Sakura and all her wonders on the shelf where he'd carefully, stupidly placed her. He'd been so certain that he knew her, had learnt who she was and how she fit. Sasuke had been so foolish as to bank on her unchanging position on that shelf, bank on his own certainty that he would find her there, time after time.

He hadn't seen her (hadn't searched for her) for four years, and she had been fine. She had been there.

Now, he hadn't seen her for two days, and it felt like his entire world was on the precipice of collapse.

Two days!

Two days of being told 'no', of being turned away at the door when all he needed was to keep her in his sights. To make sure that she was the same Haruno Sakura, with deadly grace and burning compassion. That he hadn't irreparably fucked everything up simply by reintroducing himself into her life.

Sasuke didn't know when the aggressive compulsion had set in – to keep her shelved and whole under his watchful guard like some prized possession – but it was probably around the same time she had woken up and refused to say a word to him.

And so here he was.

He had Naruto to thank for shouldering their way in this morning. The Senju woman had kept her promise in disallowing visitation to Sakura until a full debrief had taken place. Though he didn't know why she bothered with the pretence when she had been perfectly fine with granting that permission to the likes of others.

Sasuke bit his tongue as he thought back to the couple leaving Sakura's room in teary spirits, tightly escorted by a pair of ANBU. He had left Naruto to answer to Sakura's parents, gave the Dobe practice for when he had to deal with distraught family members on a daily basis as Hokage. The thought was dark, but Sasuke merely brushed it aside as he studied Sakura and her peaceful appearance.

Then she turned to him and he saw the surprise flutter across her apple green eyes, her hands tightening on the dog in her lap. A stray thought whispered that she should've noticed his presence much sooner, but the reality of her inability only made him bitter. He took a step closer and saw in fine detail her parted lips, the flash of uncertainty across her gaze.

Sasuke faltered, and there they existed, neither having words for the other.

Suddenly the strange burn of his need to see her evaporated into stagnant indecision and he felt himself on unsteady ground. She was here before him and yet what did it change? What did he want it to change? That dusty, half-forgotten shelf of his possessions had long become unfamiliar to him, how had he never thought to check?

She was so precious to him. But… where did they stand with one another? Did she even want him here? Did he want to be here?

She was Sakura and he was Sasuke, and once upon a time that had meant something, of course, it still did. But four years wasn't so much a gap, as a gaping chasm, and he wasn't so sure recognised the territory in which it left them.

Sasuke stared and tried to piece together the scraps and shards he'd accumulated of her; the yield offering more questions than answers.

Who had they become to one another? Had he ever really known her? What did it make him that he'd known her for over ten years and never said a word to her own parents? Did he even know their names? Had she ever talked about them? And what of himself? What had he ever given her but a shred of abstract affection and years' worth of careful distance, just so she could better measure the value of their bond?

Sasuke clenched his jaw when he couldn't answer a single one of his own spiralling questions.

It was easier when she was asleep. When words didn't need to define what had happened or where it left them. He'd never been good with words unless he wielded them as weapons, but Sakura deserved something.

All this time and he hadn't figured out what to even say to her.

It wasn't until he captured the minuscule shift of movement, the tiniest twitch of her finger, the crease of her left brow, that he realised his Sharingan had been active, searing her into his memory with fresh uncertainty. He blinked his eyes back into obsidian and noted the clear hesitation on Sakura's face.

So she didn't know what to say either. Unsurprising, given she had hardly looked at him since waking. There was a curl of dissatisfaction under his ribs, a familiar sting of anger but Sasuke knew it was entirely self-directed.

"Yo." The voice had come from the dog – Pakkun. "Long time no see, kid."

Sasuke didn't dignify the Ninken with a response, he was too busy scouring his mind for the right course of action. Apologising didn't seem like enough. She'd chewed him out for it the last time he tried. That was different, his mind objected, but still he was offered no alternatives. What room for talking was there when he was constantly making amends for the things he always said and did to hurt her in some way?

Sasuke tried to think back to their last trivial conversation, and drew up blank. What had they ever talked about? He was good at picking fights, better at winning them. And that worked fine with Naruto but… Had he ever figured out how to treat Sakura? How she wanted to be treated? Had she always been content with his silence and one-syllabic contributions, or had he just never cared to notice her disappointment?

He was unbalanced, sinking in his own incompetence when it came to all things Sakura. He didn't know what to do and it was setting his teeth on edge.

Say something. Do something! But his feet were still stone, and his words had never landed him anywhere good. Give her something.

In the end the decision was made for him, as it so usually had been with Naruto around to shove him from one moment and into the next.

"Sakura-chan!" The idiot flowed into the room like water, soothing and energising. His voice was somehow less annoying than he remembered and Sasuke realised it was because it was aimed at Sakura, who still sat silent on the bed, attempting to consciously relax herself.

Her smile was awkward at best as she glanced between them; a slight gnaw to her lip when she opened her mouth only for nothing to come out. She glanced down and continued to lightly chew her lips. Sasuke had the insane urged to physically pry her bottom lip from her teeth and force her words out.

She'd always been good at talking; good at listening, good at reading people and knowing exactly what to do or say. She was good at damn near everything he was terrible at. She couldn't be like him – awkward and silent. Because if she was, then he truly had failed. And Sasuke wouldn't be able to live with himself if Haruno Sakura had lost herself to him.

"Sakura-chan." Naruto breathed, and Sasuke jerked his head up to stare at the way the blond had closed the distance between her until he hovered calmly at her bedside. "Can… can I have a hug?"

It was a soft utterance, and inexplicably Sasuke held his breath, as though the question had been directed at him. There was a tug deep in his stomach as the scene unfolded around him; a careful spectator, always toing the line of every moment.

He saw the flicker in Sakura's eyes, the minute tremble to her bruised bottom lip, the way she tentatively opened her arms and looked up through her lashes. Sasuke stood and watched as Naruto gently swept her into a hug he was certain would be ten degrees warmer than remotely comfortable. Yet, Sakura let out a heavy breath, and slowly sank into the hold as though it was what she had been waiting for all along.

So it wasn't even words. I just had to give her something. Anything... How long would I have kept her waiting if Naruto hadn't come? Sasuke let out his own deep breath, his thoughts drifting.

He had overheard Naruto's hushed conversations with Hinata over the last few nights. The Dobe's worry that Sakura would never be the same. That he didn't know how to help her. That none of them knew what had really happened to her while she'd been with that God. That she had become afraid of facing them, for whatever reason.

Sasuke knew the reason. Or at least he thought he did. It was likely the same reason why he was finding it so damn hard to face her.

A brief brush against his shin drew him out of his thoughts and Sasuke glanced down to see Pakkun at his legs. The dog eyed him, as though he could smell his foul mood with his beastly nose. He braced himself for a scoff, but Pakkun only placed a paw atop his sandal with a flat stare. With a meaningful nod in Sakura's direction, the pug tapped his paw twice more on his foot and then swiftly disappeared out the door. Sasuke wondered for a moment at Kakashi's Ninken and the thought made something in his chest fall unevenly. But the sound of a sniffle had his head turning back, and it was with mild exasperation that he sighed at Naruto's tear-streaked face.

"Dobe." He muttered, somehow thrown out of his pent-up defences despite himself.

It wasn't until Sakura emerged from under Naruto's arm that he saw the redness to her own eyes, though her tears seemed too stubborn to fall. Always so stubborn. The notion irked him for some reason, and Sasuke abruptly questioned himself for why he wanted her to cry.

"Get your ass over here already, Teme. We're having a team moment."

He ignored Naruto and looked to Sakura for permission. Her eyes wavered briefly, but then she gave him a soft, inviting smile he felt entirely undeserving of. He almost retreated right then and there, but his feet took him forward. That need creeping back with rough hands and a strangling grip.

Within moments he had Naruto's arm hooked about his neck as he was bodily dragged into a hug, half bent over Sakura and her hospital bed. Sasuke felt the knock of her head against his chest, heard her deep inhale and then came her hesitant fingers curling cautiously around his waist.

"Hey." She said, soft as a whisper against his chest, fingers bunched in fabric.

Sasuke exhaled, closing his eyes as he slowly brought his arm around her shoulders. The nearness was splitting something inside him – how could he have ever held a claim to know her when her mere touch was still so novel?

"Hn." He hummed, letting his hand tighten around her, feeling Naruto's arm curl closer around his neck. It was uncomfortable, and yet it was the best he had felt in a long, long time.

Sasuke didn't want to sift through any more of his thoughts – not while some small sliver of rightness had begun to realign itself into their worlds. It was okay, everything was manageable in these small moments, within these woven bonds. Everything was fine, like this. Unchanged, and perfectly his, both in memory and in practice. Team Seven just as they were. He was content with that much as least.

Sakura still didn't speak much for the time that they remained, and Sasuke wasn't about to offer any verbalism of his own. It was enough that they were in the same room again. Even though it was obvious her mind was still spinning with a thousand restless thoughts since her interrogation. He couldn't really blame her.

He and Naruto had staked out her hospital room the last two days after all, crowded under her window where they stole precious seconds before ANBU drove them away. They heard brief snippets of Sakura's time in captivity. The twisted things they forced her to see and do.

They had both heard her too. Late at night when no one else was around to witness, she called out. Sometimes it was their names, in panic, in desperation. But mostly it was His. The way she would whisper for Atsuhiko in confused yearning; searching, pleading, crying.

It was in part why the Godaime was still restricting access to her. They still hadn't determined the extent of Atsuhiko's grip on her, latent as it could be. She could still be a danger. A danger to her Village, a danger to her own people. Sasuke twisted his lips at the thought.

For someone like Sakura, to be considered a potential threat to the very people she had laid her services and life down for… To have lost what had given her the power to do so in the first place… Sasuke couldn't help it. He regretted his part in her recent life… perhaps in much of it.

This one, he couldn't take back, couldn't atone. It was all he could do to simply be here, yet somehow even that felt in parts… transitory. There was something to this moment which whispered itself to be singular in its passing, and Sasuke just couldn't figure out what was keeping him slightly on edge.

He breathed out a quiet sigh, still only half listening to what Naruto had been rattling on about for the last hour. There was a small tilt of a pink head and Sasuke caught Sakura's eye as she gave it, a light awkward smile saying she knew he'd been lost in thought.

He covered his soft snort with a tight smirk, shaking his head as they both tuned back into

Naruto's ramblings, powered with enthusiasm enough to drown out the unsaid. It was...

"- but don't you worry Sakura-chan, you'll be better and back on your feet in no time! Ha! I bet you won't even need the whole nine months!"

There was a brief stunned silence, and Sasuke turned to stare properly at Naruto and his bizarre statement.

"What?" Sakura's voice sounded for the first time in what felt like days.

Sasuke was torn between memorising the sound of her soft voice and further clarifying what nonsense had just come out of their idiot's mouth.

Naruto looked at them blankly. "What?"

Sakura cleared her throat, emotions slowly animating her once painted face. "What do mean the 'whole nine months', Naruto?"

Sasuke swivelled his attention back to him, a crease marring his own brow in slow confusion.

The Dobe was turning a shade of red as he slowly brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck, his eyes darting here and there. "Well, I was supposed to wait till you were better to ask and everything. And I wanted it to be a big surprise for the both of you but… Sakura-chan, Hinata and I really want you to deliver our first baby, ya know…"

"You're pregnant?!"

Sakura all but shook the frame of her bed in her sudden urge to scramble towards Naruto. Her face was a picture of swirling emotion, and Sasuke wanted nothing more to bask in her abrupt return into vivid colour, but her words rang like a bell through his mind.

Naruto was torn between a full-blown grin and a sheepish wince. "Well, Hinata is – "

"Dobe." Sasuke shook his head, an unnamed warmth unfurling deep in his chest while a sense of weightlessness pulled at his feet. A baby. Naruto's having a baby…

There was a clatter and then Sakura was weakly launching herself at the blond, blankets caught about her waist and hospital gown half askew as she cried. "Naruto! You're going to be a father! Oh Kami, I'm so happy for you!"

Naruto caught her before she could tumble further and wrapped her back within his arms, tears already making their way down his whiskered cheeks as he muffled his happiness into the crook of Sakura's neck. And Sasuke merely stared.

He's going to be a father… He's going to have the family he always wanted. A real family. His own family.

Sasuke watched the scene unfold; the warmth gradually cooling into contemplation before settling in the pit of his stomach. The realisation hit him slowly, profoundly. He didn't know why it had taken him this long to figure it out.

All the precious tokens and treasures on his shelves – his precious people – he had forgotten they weren't his alone to covet and keep. He had forgotten that he'd given them only small trinkets of himself in return; fragments of time, pieces of his life. All of it, just sitting, waitingon damn shelves, collecting dust.

How much of Team Seven had been spent waiting on each other? And now, parts of them were moving forward, had been evolving for longer than he cared to admit.

Sasuke couldn't think straight. His vision was all blurring the longer he obsessed over every moment leading up to this… this shift.

His world had been turned upside down a second time and Sasuke had to reconcile the fact that what made his world home, was only parts of what made him whole. Just as he had grown to only be parts of their worlds…

And still the question remained: Where had he left himself to belong?

He needed to think. He needed to go.

Sasuke took one final look at Naruto's shaking frame and joy-locked face. At Sakura's fierce embrace and bright, radiant smile.

No one noticed him slip out.

There once was a time when Sakura looked forward to the evenings. The promise of a nightly routine wherein some of her favourite things were encapsulated into a daily ritual of peace and rejuvenation. Three things she heralded as both necessary and indulgent. A shower, a hot cup of tea, and her blessed, blessed sleep.

None of which had been returned to her in the same way since she came back, and yet Sakura couldn't even find energy to lament the awful change. Not the bitter lukewarm tea the hospital had on hand, not the sterile showers that were more effort than reward for her aching body. No, what held her captive and preoccupied beyond all intervention was sleep. Or, more accurately, what it brought.

She knew the statistics, could recite the studies on all things Shinobi's and PTSD. She had experience to boot. After-all, what Shinobi – what medic – participated in a war and came out the other end unscathed? This, however, was like nothing she had ever known. And Sakura feared it took a greater piece of her every time she put her head to the pillow and let oblivion consume her. But what could she do?

Sakura had gone to sleep with a stupid grin on her face and a heart full of contentment, reciting every single thing she had to be grateful for – starting and ending with Naruto, Hinata and their child. She had hoped (Kami had she hoped), that it would be more than enough to drown out the rest. But… well, what had she expected really?

She wasn't surprised to find herself awake at some ungodly hour later that night, Atsuhiko's name dying on her lips and fine beads of sweat drying at her temple. Exhaustion ringed itself around her as she shook the nightmare from her clearing mind, and forced the sultry echo down to the depths of her unreachable consciousness.

Tell me, are you fulfilled?

It had gotten worse. Since the interrogation, since having a Yamanaka digging around in her head trying to sort out her fragmented memories of a time spent captive in her own mind – well it always was going to drag up the things she had tried to forget. The things she was desperate to burry away.

She had been mostly cleared. Nothing concrete was found in her mind at least that warranted her a danger to society – Atsuhiko was far too preoccupied with the bigger picture to ever think to use his manipulation intelligently, the one silver lining to her predicament. Though it was a strange relief, she held onto the hope that Atsuhiko's lingering words were just that; words.

Yet the fact remained that it was her body that was tainted with indistinguishable corruption. Inconclusive blood work – she would be watched for a while yet. So far, her actions hadn't been hostile, not that she could achieve much in her current condition. The sardonic thought brought Sakura's attention down and that's when she felt it – that persistent itch to her side. She huffed, not wanting to deal with the throbbing injury but knowing sleep was still beyond possibility for her now, even if she wanted it.

Woman.

Sakura carefully unhooked herself from the IV, slid from the bed on weak legs and hobbled into the attached bathroom. She didn't bother with the light when the moon was casting its luminescence across the room in bright streaks, she just wanted to get it over with. As she stood before the mirror, some idle part of her mind reminded her that she had done a damn good job of not looking at this wound for the past several days. She hadn't spent much thought of the whys of it all, only that she hadn't wanted to.

Now though… Another sharp throb accompanied the insistent itch.

"Come on, Haruno. Don't be such a cry baby… It's just skin."

With a sigh Sakura pulled aside her gown and began unravelling the tight bandage across her torso into the sink. She was thankful she forwent the florescent lighting when slowly her stomach was bared to her eyes.

The wound was ugly, sharp and jagged. It stood out against her abdomen in neat stitching, threading the raw skin in place and leaving behind an inflamed scar about two inches long. It was red, raised and unbelievably tender to the touch, and Sakura knew she would be living with the pain for a while yet. Just as she would live with another angry scar, perfectly mirroring the one Sasori gave her all those years ago.

"Goodbye bikinis" She sniffed with a grim smile. "Yet another round will go to you Ino-Pig." Her chuckle was weak at best.

At once her poor humour left her in exchange for muted despondence. She still hadn't seen Ino or Sai. She hadn't even been given clearance to even leave the room.

Susceptible, she was. Weak. A potential risk to top it all off. And just so damn ashamed she could hardly dare the strength to meet the eyes of anyone who once thought to know her. The paper-thin gown crunched under her grip as at once every insecurity, every twisted regret came rushing back to the forefront of her mind.

She had almost killed Sai. She had endangered her entire team. She'd made stupid decisions, taken reckless risks. They'd had to save her. Watch her practically die, after she'd insisted on their help in killing herself.

And now… Now she was useless.

How could she ever ask their forgiveness after what she put them through?

How could she face anyone again… as who she was now?

A threat. A risk.

A shell of what she was meant to be.

Eternally less than what she once was, ever could've been.

"Pathetic." She whispered to her reflection, memorising her scar through blurry eyes.

A shadow passed over the light at her back, and Sakura had to breathe through her fright before her heart jumped any further into her mouth. She dropped her hold on her gown, and let it cover her side before she turned to meet the obscured figure at the doorway.

"…I didn't mean to startle you." He murmured gently, gingerly joining her in the too small bathroom.

Sakura blinked, not trusting herself at what she was seeing. She surreptitiously wiped her eyes and cautiously stepped in front of the red tinged bandages now gathered in the sink behind her.

"Sasuke…? I – What are you doing here?" Regular visiting hours aside, it was likely well after midnight and her ANBU babysitters weren't the lenient sort.

She had grown worried when he had disappeared earlier in the day. A small part of her nagged that something had upset him, but it was lost to everything else. Naruto's joy had always been infectious, and Sasuke had always been one to walk his own path, never needing another's permission. Those were but a few of the lessons learned as Team Seven.

Still, she didn't expect Sasuke to return to her, here and now. In fact, she was almost certain it wasn't him at all. It was a dream. Or maybe a perverse nightmare she hadn't managed to scramble herself away from yet. Her fingers moved to form kai, but fell away limply only a second later. Sakura curled her fingers until her nails bit into the skin of her palm hard enough to pierce.

The man before her only tilted his head as he frowned at her middle, completely silent and sculpted like marble under the pale moonlight filtering in through the window. Despite herself, her nerves frayed in the quiet and Sakura shook her head as though that would provide its own clarity.

"Sasuke?"

She needed confirmation that this was reality before she did something drastic like smash her fist into the mirror until the shattering awoke her or pain imbedded her into certainty.

"Your side." He acknowledged finally, though he still didn't meet her eyes. "Do you need me to get someone?"

She stiffened before she could help it, her hands falling loose. "No, it's okay. I just…"

I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Can I?"

Whatever excuse she was going to peddle swiftly evaporated at his meaningful nod to her stomach. Sakura took a sharp breath and felt the cool porcelain of the sink against her spine as she drifted back in bewilderment. She drew her hands up as though in defence, but then troubled obsidian eyes flit up to her and shock gave way to understanding.

He needs to see for himself, some voice in her mind supplied tiredly, as if even her subconscious had given up on any and all resistances. And Sakura could only spare a small ironic thought that they always ran in circles with each other; repeating the same moments until they could get them right.

Serendipitous or unhealthy. She could never quite decide.

Sakura watched as Sasuke waited for her – chin dipped, eyes strained – and supposed she could oblige his request. He deserved that much at least, for all she put him through. With a creased brow and a shallow nod, she stepped forward and gathered the hem of her hospital gown once more, scrunching it under lightly damp palms.

Sasuke remained entirely frozen, every inch the carved marble statue, and her cheeks abruptly flushed under his intent stare. Shizune had been kind enough to provide her with underwear, but that did little to alleviate the feel of exposure. Sakura bared her legs and torso to Sasuke – showed him more than she had ever voluntarily shown any man.

So enraptured she was in studying his expression, she didn't realise he had closed the distance between them until he was touching her – so soft she didn't have the mind to startle.

Sasuke's fingers brushed the edge of her scar where the skin was still pink, his eye a stormy obsidian, his touch as gentle as a whisper. Under his heated fingers and against the surrealness of the moment, Sakura accepted that this was really happening.

"I… It doesn't bother me." She found herself saying, her voice slipping in between the cracks of his silence. Some ugly part of her wailed that the scar was the perfect reminder of everything she had lost to it. But she breathed through her aching bitterness with gratitude.

"It… You saved my life, Sasuke."

It was the truth. For how could she hate any part of her which proved her survival. The thought was a jarring comfort against her hurricane of heartache. But Sakura found an anchor in her scar. It was proof she fought till the bitter end. And the survival and safety of her team was all she needed to know it was worth it.

Sasuke looked up to her, stunned and she knew what was about to happen before perhaps even he did.

Their fingers tangled as she moved her hand over his, stilling him before he could skirt away in denial. Always repeating the same damn moments. She was tired, and didn't have the energy for the chase when already she was working overtime on her own sense of self-worth.

"I gave you an impossible choice." She said. "For that, I'm sorry."

Sakura strengthened her grip on his fingers, remorse making her brave or stupid, she didn't really know. For now it was enough that the words were said, that he heard them. Sasuke's expression grew pinched and then he delicately reversed his grip on her hand, taking it and guiding it up between them. He shook his head as he brought her knuckles to his mouth, gliding his lips over them once, then twice.

Sakura stifled her gasp at his actions; somewhere caught between disorientation and curiosity. It was all simply surreal. Then Sasuke was unfolding her hand and studying her under intent dark eyes as though she were a puzzle and not some lonely girl in a hospital bathroom. They stood there like that, passing breaths before Sasuke once more brought her hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips into her cold, nail bitten palm.

"Don't apologise to me, Sakura." He begged on a murmur. "I could spend a lifetime apologising to you, if only I had enough years."

"…Sasuke?"

She hardly knew what was happening. Moonlight encased the moment, and she felt as though she were peering through glass, almost disconnected from the world around her, blissfully suspended away from everything else. A tickle of warm air against her palm had her blinking back at Sasuke. And, training his eyes on hers, Sasuke gave her hand one gentle squeeze before he slowly lowered himself to his knees before her.

Sakura gasped softly, drawing back as her fingers inexplicably tightened on his hand in confused anticipation. She gripped him, halfway frozen between hauling him upright and clutching him closer. Winged creatures erupted in her stomach as Sasuke drifted his face over their joined hands once more. Her breath caught when he guided their hands to the side, and unhurriedly turned his eyes from her to study her scar.

Sakura wanted to shy away, to push him back and wrap herself up and away from his sight. He was too close, she could feel the heat of his face hovering at her stomach and it sent something in her spiralling.

This couldn't be Sasuke. The same guy who had kept her at arms-length the entire time she'd ever known him. The same man who only tolerated her touch under practical pain of death. The same boy who first broke her heart with cruelty and distance when she was just a girl.

A latent spike of doubt struck a frisson up her spine and Sakura was just about to wrench him away when Sasuke bowed his head and closed the distance completely with a kiss.

Sakura trembled violently when his lips lightly brushed over the skin of her abdomen in a butterfly kiss, just beside her scar. She threw her head back and closed her eyes, hardly comprehending the visceral reaction to a barely-there touch; soft and seeking.

"It was you who did the saving, Sakura." He prayed reverently into her skin. "It's always been you."

This can't be happening.

Her knees abruptly weakened, and Sakura used her free hand to steady herself on Sasuke's shoulder. She felt the way his thumb brushed over her knuckles as he continued to grasp her hand between them. Belatedly, she realised that this was probably the most they had spoken to each other in likely weeks. And now his heated lips were skimming across her skin once more near the scar, and she couldn't even remember how they came to be here in the first place.

"Sakura."

His lips on her skin, hot and cold and coiling something inside her with his every foreign touch and word.

Is this really happening?

"S-Sasuke-kun."

Sakura snapped her eyes back to him in shock at her own voice, and saw his eyes were already riveted to her face; a molten red spinning back at her like unearthed rubies glinting from the depths of a cave. Her own flushed face and wild eyes reflected back in his fiery gaze. She didn't realise her chest was heaving until she heard the sound of her laboured breaths echo off the tiled room, and through it all Sakura frowned at him, like she couldn't quite comprehend a moment of it. Like he had the answers and yet refused to share them with her.

Why is this happening? Was the next logical thought and Sakura could only stare at him and all his moonlit beauty.

For his part, Sasuke's expression didn't change; unreadable as it was and Sakura found herself drowning in it. All he never said, hidden beneath dark eyes and a stoic face that had been stealing parts of her heart since she was child. But it was all about actions for Sasuke, always had been. And here and now, she couldn't make heads or tails of it. Sasuke never does anything he doesn't mean. Even if it hurts. So what did it mean?

Sakura opened her mouth, determined to wrestle the answer out of him one way or another, but he beat her to it. Rising fluidly back to his feet, Sasuke grasped her hand and held her eyes with a sincerity she was almost afraid to behold. Inexplicably, she held her breath.

"Thank you." He said and his voice wavered. "For everything, Sakura."

His words drew her back with a harsh snap; and at once her glass casing was shattered.

Sakura couldn't pinpoint why exactly it made her feel so immediately numb; a quick and painless evaporation into nothingness. She almost startled under the swift change, her cheeks losing their rosy hue and her chest abruptly falling flat in her chest. Hollowness was back on her doorstep, turning the handle to the door she hadn't bothered locking when her home was already a ransacked mess.

Her hand was being pulled and she was being led back towards her bed and ushered under the sheets. Sakura let Sasuke pull her this way and that, let his eyes travel over her in scrutiny. She let him poke her forehead with ghostly fingertips and a grim hesitant stare.

Then he was gone, obscured into midnight just as he had appeared.

Sakura sat under scratchy covers and waited for the numb to recede. She waited until practically told her to get up and reapply her bandages. Then she waited some more for that same practically to tell her what she already knew.

Sasuke had come tonight to say goodbye… And she had just let him pass her by.

Sasuke didn't return the next day, and Sakura withheld her muted devastation for proof. Practical.

She didn't have it in her to ask Naruto when he arrived bright and early with a bag full of onigiri and no Sasuke. She had to trust in his sunshine smile that Sasuke hadn't abandoned them again. She had to believe for herself that 'maybe next time' would mean something, this time.

Sakura didn't let herself wonder on what she wanted it to mean. Instead, she set it all aside. She ate onigiri she couldn't quite taste and listened as Naruto made plans for their next team dinner, she had no certainty would ever eventuate. Emerald eyes cast to the window, absently searching for silver. It was an action she found herself repeating at least twice a day ever since she had awoken. It cast a hook into her, pulling at her with tender, aching feeling.

Kakashi.

She recognised it as yearning – for forgiveness, to see his face, hear his voice. But like the rest of her scattered thoughts, she set it aside. Just another piece sent adrift to somewhere she wouldn't try reaching for it. It was where she had set 'recovery', after all. She hadn't been able to explain it, not to Tsunade, not to anyone why she wasn't quite willing to respond to the programmes they had put in place for her rehabilitation.

Sure, shame and guilt had something major to do with her reluctance to put herself back out there, not to mention the overwhelming weakness of her body. But truthfully, it was fear.

He was gone and yet he was still there. She couldn't shake him, he was under her skin, had been intertwined with her soul. Atsuhiko had scarred her down to her cells and no matter how many times she distracted herself with the present, she couldn't deny the imprint of their past.

We shall have Eternity… Wait for me…

What if… what if she hurt someone again?

What if nothing worked and she was truly rendered incapable of any capacity of chakra?

What if –

There was a comforting warmth against her hand and Sakura turned to Naruto and his worry-creased eyes.

Oh. She had done it again, had she? 'Bouts of vacancy' Ibiki had listed among her inventory of recent issues to rectify. Well, at least she knew where she stood on her progress.

Naruto was squeezing her hand and Sakura closed her eyes to breathe. She was growing tired of being the cause of concern in her friend's lives. A part of her just wanted them to forget about her for a while, until she had scraped together enough pieces to become fractionally whole.

But… there was that fear again, screaming at her that if they leave then she would be left alone. She wasn't sure when the fear of abandonment had become the master of her life again, but she hated how easily it slipped back over her skin like a well-worn glove. It was a small torture she had come to realise about herself over the past few days of interrogation – when she hadn't been able to keep any of her team in her sights and was faced with their absence. Nothing scared her more than being left behind again. More than the fear of disappointment, more than the shame; if she were to be abandoned –

Be good and wait for me.

Violently tearing herself from her thoughts, Sakura drew a smile, as reassuring as she could manage and cast it upon Naruto. No. She had to remember that she had them, they were hers just as she was theirs. She wouldn't let insecurity steal the good things in her life from her, not when she had goodness staring her right in the face just waiting for her to embrace what was hers.

Sakura grasped Naruto's hand and gently poked his cheek with the other. "So have you decided on any names yet? You should know I demand to be godmother."

His responding laugh was enough to seal her aches a little.

A day at a time, Haruno. Ibiki had said, and she wanted to hate his easy advice. But…

Her eyes flit to the cosmos still in full bloom at her bedside, the patches of dog hair across her lap, the ghostly burn of Sasuke's fingertips at her forehead, the warmth of Naruto's hand. She would be alright. She had to believe that for herself. She had people waiting for her, people she needed to reel back herself. She couldn't let herself become a victim of circumstance, no matter how easy it was to fall into her own hopelessness.

She couldn't let fear oversteer her will to recover.

Woman.

No. I won't let you control my life, Atsuhiko. I will overcome you if it's the last thing I do.

On the fifth day of waking, Sakura found a small piece of her will and gripped it with both hands.

I will overcome.

It was late afternoon when Naruto climbed the steps to his home, a steady smile pulling his cheeks after spending the entire day at Sakura's side. He'd seen it, clear as day; her progress. Slow and quiet but it was there. He saw the spark of will return to her eyes, and he simply couldn't help that his parting hug contained a few more tears than usual.

Their Sakura-chan was still there, nothing could keep her away – he knew it! Now all they needed was for Sai to wake his pasty ass up and Team Seven would be whole again. He'd already planned it; Sai and Sakura-chan's welcome home party! It would be just Team Seven and he would make sure it was perfect.

Yamato would be in charge of drinks, Naruto himself would ensure proper and delicious food and snacks. He would put Sasuke in charge of something, but he feared the Teme would rebel out of sheer aversion to being given orders. So it would just have to be a surprise for the bastard as well.

And Kakashi would be given the most important task of springing their guests of honour out of the hospital. Sage knows the man had done it enough times to be a bona-fide professional. It would be perfect! And they'd hold it at Sakura-chan's house for ease of comfort! So on second thought, maybe he would volunteer Sasuke for clean-up duty.

The bastard wouldn't be able to say no then! It was brilliant.

Stretching his face to the departing winter sun, Naruto grinned at the sky as he crunched his way up the frosted stairs to his house. He couldn't wait to tell Hinata all about his day, about Sakura-chan!

It was on his next step that Naruto looked down and paused upon seeing Hinata standing at the door, her beautiful face taut with worry. His steps faltered, and then he was racing towards her, his hands braced over the small bump to her stomach as he ran frantic eyes over her in concern.

"What is it? Are you alright? Is it the baby?"

Hinata merely hushed him with a gentle palm across his cheek and a chaste kiss to the underside of his jaw.

"I'm alright, Naruto-kun. It's not me it's…" She trailed off meaningfully and cast a glance back into the house. Then she sighed, grabbing his hand over her stomach and squeezing. "I'm going to visit Hanabi tonight. Talk with him."

She was all understanding and encouragement and Naruto swore he fell just a little more in love with her every day. He pressed a fleeting kiss to Hinata's temple offering a quick, "I love you" before making his way inside.

He stopped at the threshold of the guestroom, and despite his steps being deliberate and loud, Sasuke had remained as he was; staring out the open window with his pack waiting and ready on his made bed. Naruto willed his heart not to sink.

"What are you doing?"

Sasuke didn't turn, the mild breeze fluttering his raven hair slightly as he stared over the village. "Sakura's improving by the day. She's going to be alright… And I've stayed longer than planned."

A burst of anger had Naruto hunkering several steps into the room. "You're not serious, Teme. Please tell me this is a joke!"

Sasuke was unmoved. "There are important things that need to be done. We left too much evidence behind both at Orochimaru's base and Atsuhiko's fortress. I need to search the area, and track down the survivors before the trail goes any colder."

"What the hell are you – "

"You saw it for yourself, Naruto." Sasuke cut him off, turning to face him, expression set. "We weren't equipped enough to deal with the threat we were presented. We were complacent… I was arrogant." He amended before his eyes grew sharp. "What occurred with Sakura… I won't let it happen again."

Naruto's shoulders loosened, and he took a calculated step forward. "Sasuke. This isn't something you have to shoulder on your own. None of us knew what we were getting ourselves into. That's something we all have to come to terms with, it's not one person's accountability."

He licked his lips when Sasuke merely held his stare with disinterest. "This isn't your burden to bare alone, man. The world is big enough to share the load. It's not just Team Seven, it's not just the Leaf. We have whole nations full of people who want to protect their loved ones, just like you and me. Why are you trying so hard to take this on alone?"

A crease formed at Sasuke's brow, and he spoke as though it pained him in some way. "I fought for myself for a long time, Naruto. My actions have consequences, and my path in life will always be a crossroads. I can't…"

He trailed off, and whatever he was going to say was eclipsed by a weighted sigh. "I have the power to right what wrongs I can in the world. And what am I doing if I waste it here on trying to protect the three people who are strong enough to defend themselves."

"Sasuke…" Naruto's disbelief quickly soured into determination, and with a fierce jut of his chin, he demanded, "What about you, huh? What about Sakura?"

Sasuke shifted abruptly, anger flashing in his red spinning eye. "You saw what I did to her. For my sake, for my overconfidence, she was forced into a situation that stole her chakra, stole her independence and almost stole her life."

A surge of his own anger swelled and Naruto interrupted with a broad swing of his arm. "Sakura-chan doesn't – "

"Don't, Naruto." Sasuke warned, cold and clipped.

He held his tongue, waiting for the Teme to explain himself, watching as Sasuke regulated his breathing, sharply in through his nose before slowly meeting his gaze head on.

"I don't care if Sakura doesn't blame me." He said. "I don't care if you say it was her choice. It doesn't change the fact that I was the one who put her in harm's way. My choices have long been leaving scars on the people closest to me, and I – I… I can't keep failing her, Naruto. The only time I've ever done right by her was leaving. And without me, she thrives."

Naruto wanted to protest, wanted to point out the loneliness he saw in her eyes when she thought no one was looking. Wanted to show the bastard how hard Sakura had worked to make sure she wasn't so easily left behind again. But Sasuke was already speaking again, sounding increasing jaded and distressed the longer he went on.

"She built herself a life here, a home. She made herself into the damn strongest kunoichi I've ever seen. And then I came back and took all of that away from her in an instant. She let me do that. I benefitted fromher devotion to me as a way of manipulating her out of her perfect life. And if she just forgives me again – I… I can't take it!"

Naruto had heard enough. "Sasuke, she loves – "

"Stop." The command was firm and Naruto realised that Sasuke had stepped right up to him, eye to eye. "That's not good enough, Naruto. That's not what love should do to a person. And if I truly loved her then… Well she wouldn't be in this position in the first place."

He had no rebuttal to that. He saw in the sheen of those colourful eyes that anything he could say wouldn't change Sasuke's mind in the slightest. His heart rocked uneasily in his chest and suddenly righteous fury was there for the taking. Naruto drew both hands up and shoved him.

"Bastard! How does you leaving again solve anything?" He pushed Sasuke again for good measure, taking satisfaction in the Teme's grunt and stumble.

Sasuke righted himself quickly and wrenched Naruto's hands away when he went to push a third time. "Sakura's outgrown me, Naruto."

"How the hell would you know? You never stay put long enough to actually get to know her!" He threw a punch at his face.

Sasuke caught his fist with a glare. "She doesn't need me screwing up more of her life!" He twisted Naruto's arm and lashed out with a kick.

Naruto leapt over his leg and slipped behind him to offer a swift elbow to the back of his neck. "Yeah? Did she tell you that? Did you ask her?"

Sasuke ducked to the left. "I wouldn't – " He had to jerk back when Naruto's fist came charging at his face a second time.

Sasuke swiftly swung his arm around and caught Naruto's middle with a grunt. In the small room, he ended up throwing him bodily unto the mattress, sending pillows tumbling and the wall rattling with the rough movement. Naruto wheezed as he landed on his back, his head hitting against the wood of the headboard. He blinked up at Sasuke from where he pressed his forearm against his neck, eyes alight in red and purple.

"I wouldn't ever be able to put her first." Sasuke snarled, "…I wouldn't be able to give her a family like yours."

The admission hung in the air; weighted and broken. A harsh frown pulled at his face just as his chest fell and Naruto stared up at the way Sasuke had dipped his chin to his chest, his breathing strict and uneven.

"I can't… this isn't my home, Naruto."

And hadn't that always been the heart of it all?

Sasuke's arm relaxed against his throat and Naruto felt the fresh burn of tears in his eyes. He always knew, in the deepest corner of his heart that they'd never really return to the way things were; to before. Life had pulled them in too many different directions, down opposite paths until the road home had become unrecognisable. They'd each made their own choices in the paths they took and now they had to make peace with the fact that there was no going back, only forward.

Sasuke pushed off him suddenly, though he didn't move far. Naruto slowly sat up, his eyes trained on the cowed shoulders and clenched fist of his brother.

"I know, Sasuke." He breathed, looking away. "This hasn't been your home for a while, has it?"

"…I thought maybe…" Sasuke didn't finish but Naruto knew what he meant.

He thought maybe Sakura would be enough to change that.

It wasn't some grand shattering of a promised ideal, not the fatal rupture of a dream unrealised; it was a quiet sorrow that took hold of Naruto's heart in the early evening light. It didn't surprise him so much as hurt him in understanding. He had the sudden urge to let the tears he harboured careful back, fall. But he wouldn't. Instead, he drew up his hand until it rested firmly on Sasuke's shoulder.

"You need to talk to her."

Sasuke recoiled, and pulled slightly away. "It won't make a difference." He tried. "I've been the heart of Sakura's affections long enough to know when she's in love."

Naruto shook his head, his fingers curling back over the lost territory of Sasuke's arm. He didn't understand. "So that's it?"

Sasuke pulled completely free, reaching for his pack and readying his dark cloak. "I'm going to start with tracking down the woman and sensor Kakashi let walk free."

Naruto stood, "Sasuke – "

"I'm not soft like you and him. They will tell me everything they know and answer for their crimes."

"Come on, man – "

"I'll send updates on anything of significance I come by, however you should keep an eye on Sakura in the event – "

"Fucking listen to me!"

Naruto caught Sasuke by both shoulders and twisted him around, but he choked on his words, eyes darting between Sasuke's as he desperately searched his stare. There was a pit in his stomach, and slowly his grip became slack, his head shaking at Sasuke's tight, unrelenting gaze.

"…Is there really nothing I can say to make you stay?"

He knew the answer, but that didn't stop him from trying. Fuck if anything had stopped him from trying when it came to Sasuke.

But they were different now, older. Wisdom had come for Naruto long ago, whether he liked it or not. There was nothing to fight here. Only accept. And Naruto hated that he had already come to terms with that years ago.

He dipped his head, Sasuke now holding him up more than he was him. He wasn't ready to let go. Yet, all too soon, there was an unexpected spark of pain against his forehead and Naruto swiftly looked up to see Sasuke's fingers lingering in the air between them. The bastard had just flicked his forehead!

"Not this time, Naruto." Sasuke said, and it sounded so fond.

Naruto blinked, something thumping heavily against his ribs as things clicked in the back of his mind. By the thread of his strength he held Sasuke's gaze. "You're going to miss the birth of my first child, you bastard."

Sasuke's features softened, and in the quietness of twilight, it was breathtaking. "I'm sure I'll be able to hear their crying from nations away, Dobe."

A weak laugh stumbled out of his mouth and then they stepped apart, the coolness of the winters night quickly embracing the distance created. Naruto reached for the cloak Sasuke had dropped; his eyes catching on the small Uchiha crest Hinata had sewn into the black material only days ago.

They had to let him go. And fuck if it hurt each time they did.

He passed the cloak over, halting Sasuke when his grip remained firm. "Promise me something. Sakura deserves to hear it from you."

The reluctance on Sasuke's face was clear, but Naruto wasn't going to back down from this one. Yeah, he would fight tooth and nail for Sasuke, but he'd also fight till his damned last breath for Sakura.

Naruto stared him down, not giving an inch. "You better make it clear this time, bastard. Don't you dare make Sakura wait another minute longer than she has to for you, Sasuke."

A harsh frown pinched Sasuke's brow before a deep shudder left his body at the repetition of those words. And Sasuke could do nothing more than stare at his brother.

"I won't." he promised once more.

And this time it tasted of surrender.

Kakashi didn't know what he was doing as he sat crouched at the edge of Sakura's window, staring back at his reflection. In the end it wasn't the echoes of Tsunade's harsh pep talk that had driven him to the hospital tonight. It wasn't even his own courage or Pakkun's stern and constant threat of mutiny.

It was Gai.

Gai, who had wheeled himself into his office and did not leave until Kakashi acknowledged there was something he needed to say.

Kakashi didn't think he'd see the day where he'd be praying for the gallant shouts of a challenge to be bestowed upon his eardrums. He didn't think he'd crave the predictability, the safe grounds of trivial conversation with his longest friend until he was confronted with much the opposite. It wasn't shouts of Youth or declarations of vigour that Gai armed himself with; it was something startlingly earnest that he never even had a chance to outrun.

"Neji-kun – " Gai began, tears already crested in his eyes and Kami, Kakashi wanted to run. He didn't think he would survive this conversation; to hear vulnerability from a man who hardly even shed a tear for his own loss of legs.

Gai cleared his throat and tried once more.

"Kakashi, if I had the chance you have right now. If one of my precious people had died and was blessed with life once more, there would be nothing in this world that could keep me from them. From seeing life fill their lungs; from witnessing the gift of opportunity returned to their breast, from spending every moment I could rejoicing in their presence. Even if it hurt, even if it took a part of my soul, nothing could stop me."

Gai made hardly a sound as he wheeled closer and took Kakashi's hand in his own, his grip as strong as the passion with which he led his life. "Kakashi… I don't want to win this round. Please, don't make me win this round… Not when you still have her."

Something in his chest rose uncomfortably high, as though a part of him was trying to escape from the inside out. "Gai…"

"I know, Kakashi." He said softly, a tender smile looking so out of place against his tear streaked cheeks. "…Iknow."

Kakashi tried to reject his certainty, tried to combat Gai's acceptance with all his reasons, yet all that came out was a choked "But…? "

"You are my best friend, dearest Rival. I will always know to look underneath the underneath with you." A wry smile edged his lips then slipped into a straight, grim line. "That is why I must tell you that if you throw this away, if you spit in the face of this found love, I will never forgive you. You owe it to the both of you to try."

Gai's hand gripped around his with a strength that harboured him to the moment, despite the urgent fraying of his thoughts.

"I'm not the one she wants." He forced himself to say, because it was the truth, because her happiness would always come first.

"You cannot know a woman's heart until she gives it to you."

"Gai – "

"Please." He interrupted, firm in a way Gai never was with him. "Just this once be selfish in love. Talk to her. Give Sakura-san a reason to return your gift. Give your ghosts a reason to smile when they gaze upon you." His smile was achingly sincere when he said. "We're all rooting for you, Kakashi. You deserve good things too."

Kakashi sighed and gripped the ledge of the windowsill on which he was balanced. Beyond the glass panes lay everything he ever wanted, wrapped up in everything he always feared. He knocked his head against the window and settled his raging heartbeat, barely noticing the fogging of the glass in the cool of the winter's night.

He should leave well enough alone. He'd come this far, hadn't he? Was it really so hard to step back and let Sakura start her life with Sasuke? Give them the space they needed to have everything they ever wanted. It was simple. It was done. He'd already made his choice – given his goddamned blessing – so why, why had he let his heart drag him all the way back to her instead of keeping his distance like he promised.

"Fuck."

He wasn't good enough for her. Damn if anyone wasgood enough for Sakura. She deserved endless days of bliss and passion, a life full of wonder and contentment. She deserved a shred of decency – to be told that she was loved every day. (Oh, how she was loved.) She deserved to be told that by the man she had loved unconditionally for a decade.

But, like a bastard, Kakashi couldn't stay away.

It was killing something inside him not to see her; to run his hands through her velvet hair and poke fun at the wayward tangle of cotton pink tresses. There was a gouging wound in his chest, tearing at him the longer he forwent hearing her dry sarcasm, missing her mischievous pout, or the way she chewed her bottom lip in relentless habit.

(How he had decided somewhere along the way that if her life ended then he was certain he wouldn't be far behind.)

Yet here she was – alive when he had almost lost her and… and – !

'We aren't usually this lucky in life. Don't waste it on your fear.'

'Give your ghosts a reason to smile when they gaze upon you.'

They didn't know what they were saying. How could they be so supportive of someone like him for someone like her? Kakashi clenched his jaw.

No. He didn't want to imagine the faces of his ghosts. He spent enough time looking away from every refract of light which reminded him of Obito's eyes. Avoiding Minato's stone carved gaze, ignoring the echo of Kushina's voice in Naruto, hiding from the reflection of Rin in the purple hues of sunsets.

He didn't want to picture them like this.

Kakashi didn't want to see Minato's knowing smile, hear Kushina's teasing laugh, imagine Rin's overjoyed squeal or Obito's indignant shock at finding a woman who would put up with him.

He didn't want to picture his father's proud smile and firm hug at finding a woman he wanted to spend the rest of his days growing old with…

Concrete chipped and crumbled under his fingertips and suddenly Kakashi was breathless. He had shoved open the window and tumbled inside before he could spend another second preparing to run and never look back. The ANBU stationed at Sakura's door burst through a moment later and immediately froze at the sight of their Hokage half crouched and wheezing at the window. With a wince, Kakashi straightened and waved them off with as much dignity as he could muster, and then he was alone with Sakura, lost to her slumber.

(And how could she look so perfect, prized in all he claimed to loath?)

He walked rigidly to her side and sat stiffly on the chair – every step a betrayal of his honour, every inch closer a balm to his soul. His hands fumbled for his books, but he grasped merely air as he stared at the slim figure on the bed.

"Sakura."

He reached trembling hands towards her and almost choked when his fingertip grazed the back of her hand. His large, calloused palm was wrapped around hers before he knew what he was doing and suddenly Kakashi could do nothing but watch; counting each of her breaths as a blessing, counting every second with her as an improvement to his life.

He collapsed into himself and stared, tracing her figure over and over as he dragged his thumb along her knuckles in grateful repetition.

She was present, she was alive, she was Sakura.

His wilful, impossible, Sakura.

Kakashi felt the ghosts at his back, saw the woman of his heart and decided. In the quiet of her hospital room, with nothing but time and a pocket full of courage, Kakashi sat and rehearsed telling Haruno Sakura that she was loved.

Sai was floating.

Floating on a cloud made of flowers. Crocus crested his head, chrysanthemums coiled his limbs and wisteria wreathed him in its careful abode. It was peaceful.

The flowers smelt of home. Like Konoha in the Spring.

Like Ino.

Sai thought that if he were to open his eyes, he would see his beloved beside him. But it was a foolish and selfish thought, borne of his dying wish.

For that would mean that Ino would be here – where ever here was; suspended in sightless spring. And the last thing Sai remembered was an imprint of fear and gratitude that Ino wasn't here to see him like this…

To see him die.

So she couldn't be here. For that would mean…

Sai opened his eyes just to be sure.

Deep purple. Pale yellow. And a rainbows worth of colours assaulted his hazy vision. They blurred together before sharpening into slow, aching clarity. And this time when the tears fell, Sai knew it was not simply from the pain of his waking body, but of pure joy and relief to be home.

There was a cry to his right, then soft tulip lips pressed upon his own; and through the fog of confusion, he kissed her back.

His woman who smelt of home and tasted of honeysuckle.

Sai knew he was floating when he was wrapped in Ino's arms.

She didn't know precisely what woke her, only that she needed to go; now!

Sakura had one leg swung over the bed before she even realised there was someone holding her hand. She blinked at the gentle tug, the warm callouses and surprised twitch of fingers wrapped around her own. Then she trailed its length up to him and blinked again.

"Sakura." He whispered her name in hushed concern mingled with something else she couldn't quite define.

"Ka-kashi." She merely stared at him, sizing him up as an apparition and slowly digging her nails into her palm when her mind couldn't decide what was real.

He was here? He was alright. He was –

"You're – " his voice trailed off just as his hold loosened from where he cradled her wrist. His eyes were set in dark circles as he dipped his head and breathed her name like a broken confession. "Sakura."

Later, Sakura would catalogue the miniscule shift that had her heart rate picking up speed while her bones laxed into ease. Later, would she dissect why it felt like a slam to her gut to see his face after so long – the visceral relief and upset which he stirred in her in merely having him here. Later.

For now, any and all brain power was being rerouted to the same pressing urge which had awoken her in the first place. She couldn't explain it, but she had felt this exact feeling before and she knew what it meant.

Kakashi had begun to withdraw in concern when she latched onto his arm with both hands, conviction strengthening her in ways she didn't believe she was yet capable of again.

"Kakashi." And damn if her voice was still a bit rough. "I need your help."

For his part, he didn't ask any questions; simply sank into her stare and granted her all his soul-searching attention as though nothing else could possibly matter more.

Later she would question why the trusting action drew her chest into a tight squeeze and sent her eyes prickling.

Right now, she didn't know how much time she had.

Ino couldn't contain her blinding smile as she quietly rolled Sai across the deserted hallway in the wheelchair she had craftily nicked from the supply room. Technically Sai shouldn't be out of bed. But – after a rather tearful and sentimental reunion – the man had been adamant that he see Sakura, and she simply couldn't deny him.

Not many knew to describe Sai as stubborn, but Ino couldn't fault his purpose. They both needed to see Sakura, and if the past week had taught her anything, it was that waiting was for fools. The ANBU weren't impressed by their little late-night excursion, but Ino only had to flash her pearly whites with the air of Ibiki's prized (and cunning) apprentice and they knew better than to question her. Her clearance wasn't technically that high, but her reach sure was, and boy if they knew it.

Still, Ino made sure to keep her voice down as she artfully slipped them inside the dark room and closed the door silently behind her. With a gentle sing-song whisper, she couldn't help but anticipate the impending reunification, regardless of the late hour.

"Hey Forehead! Guess who is up and about and ready to see his favourite pink – what the hell?"

Eyes deceiving her because surely this was a figment of her ill-rested imagination, Ino flicked the light switch.

"Good evening to you both." Hatake Kakashi waved with a lazily salute, as he lounged across Sakura's vacated hospital bed, reading an instruction manual for hospital beds?

No-freaking-way.

"Kakashi-sama!" Ino sputtered, barely containing herself to a whisper. "What are you doing here? Where the hell is Sakura?"

She was already wheeling Sai further into the room as she charged forward to interrogate the soon to be Deceased Rokudaime apparently playing musical beds with her very much still recovering and yet nowhere to be seen best friend!

The infuriating man didn't even look up from where he had resumed his bored reading. "Hmm? Oh that. Not here."

"Obviously." Ino ground her molars. "The question is why?"

And more importantly, was Sakura out of her fucking mind?! She'll be lucky if she isn't sent straight to Tsunade for disobedient and reckless behaviour such as playing hooky whilst grievously wounded and on probation!

The man shrugged. "Well… She is also 'up and about'."

Unbelievable! "At this hour?!"

"Apparently so."

A perfectly manicured blonde brow ticked. "And where exactly would she be, if it's not too much to ask Hokage-sama?" She injected as much spite as she possibly could towards her ridiculous excuse for a Village Leader.

"Is she with your real body?" Sai inquired calmly from his chair, cocking his head curiously at the man in question.

That caught clone's attention, as he slowly lowered the booklet to award them with his first legitimate response since they arrived. "She's got an errand to run. I'm just holding down the fort till she gets back. But we'd best not make much more racket or ANBU will be on all our asses."

Ino blinked. "What!? And you just let her? That bloody Forehead-Girl! This is what being on a team of wild idiots does to a person. It rubs off! When I get my hands on her – "

"Come, Beautiful. Sakura should not be out of bed in the middle of the night in her condition."

And then there was the way Sai was casually rolling back towards the door without a care for his frail condition or her building headache.

Ino straightened, a frown on her lips. "Well yeah, but neither should you."

"Clone-Senpai can cover both our absences." He answered simply with a pleasant smile that did nothing to quell her late-night irritation.

Ino wasted a single second sending a dubious glare at Kakashi-sama's rapscallion clone before her stress-addled mind caught up with Sai and his 'case-in-point' Team Seven excursion.

"Well sure, but that's not the point – hey Sai! Wait up!"

Bloody Forehead-Girl.

Kakashi didn't immediately turn to face the two newcomers when they landed behind him on the rooftop he had concealed himself on. He spent another long moment with his eyes rivetted to the street below, fists hidden in the folds of his pockets.

It wasn't until he heard the soft clack of rubber against tile that Kakashi turned. "Welcome back, Sai." He didn't realise the extent of his relief to see him until he was letting out a profound sigh. "I'm glad to you see you're up. But shouldn't you be in bed?"

Sai's smile was a soft thing, framed as it was by his pallid face. He leaned heavily on Ino as she braced him one side, a crutch taking the remainder of his weight on his other. "Thank you, Senpai. But we assumed that as you let Sakura out of hers, I would similarly be justified."

There was a barb of admonishment hidden there and Kakashi had half the mind to concede the boy his displeasure at him, but then Yamanaka Ino zeroed her hard-blue eyes onto his, and he knew she would deliver in his stead. She carefully extracted herself out from under Sai's arm and helped him to lean against the brick barrier of the roof, then she was marching towards him with ferocious intent.

"I can't believe you!" She began. "Sakura is still recovering from extreme, I repeat, extreme chakra poisoning, not to mention complete chakra depletion. And! A severe infected stab wound. Her immune system is still on the verge of systematic compromise! She's hardly in a condition to walk, let alone go traipsing around in the middle of a winter's night!" She reigned her shout in at the last moment, before coolly adding. "Respectfully, Hokage-sama."

Kakashi imagined that if he wasn't the Rokudaime, the incensed blonde would've hit him a fair number of times during her triad, likely well warranted in her eyes. Still, he didn't condone her tone.

"Thank you for the lecture, Ino-san. I wasn't aware."

She bit the inside of her cheek at the veiled reprimand and folded her arms in controlled contempt, half demanding. "Why'd you let her go?"

Kakashi slid his eye to her. "Why did you let Sai?"

"Well obviously I didn't let him go…alone."

Kakashi saw the moment she deflated with realisation and turned his head back to watch over the abandoned street on which Sakura lingered. "Hm… I helped Sakura sneak out because she asked me to. She said it was important."

No sooner had the words left his mouth, did the evidence of Sakura's journey reveal themselves, emerging quietly from the shadowy path. His dark hair melded in against the indigo sky; that raven mane which seemed to absorb the very night and swallow it whole. And he was making his way towards Sakura, black cloak fluttering in the mild icy wind.

Kakashi ignored the heavy drop of his heart.

"Sasuke..." Sai murmured looking over the pair, sounding equal parts thoughtful and blank. "He is leaving?"

"I suppose that part is yet to be seen." Kakashi responded just as blankly, not tearing his eyes off the awaiting confrontation, and yet desperately wishing to turn the other way and run.

Ino glanced from the men, down to the street below and drew her hands up to her mouth, breathing softly. "Oh, Forehead."

When he saw her standing there Sasuke had only one thought.

This has always been our crossroads.

It was clear Sakura felt it too, for why else would she know to appear here on the very night he sought to slip away – without a fight, without a real goodbye. Though, judging by the set of her shoulders and stern glare, Sakura hadn't yet come to the same conclusion he had. Still, her very appearance here was upsetting for many reasons, the most pressing of all being her condition. Sasuke hid his sigh behind the high collar of his midnight cloak and gazed at her.

"What are you doing here, Sakura?" Winter had yet to ease its' grip off Konoha, and the clear starry sky gave the perfect circumstance for a terribly cold night. She shouldn't be here.

"I could ask you the same question, Sasuke." She was cagey, preened for a fight, though he was loathed to give her one.

"You should be in the hospital, resting." He frowned then. "ANBU wouldn't have let you out."

She shrugged, the action drawing his attention to the strange mix of clothes she was wearing. "Kakashi helped sneak me out."

That was somehow irksome in ways he didn't yet know how to define. Sasuke rolled his jaw and stepped forward to take Sakura by her elbow. "Come on, I'm taking you back." Before someone accused him of abducting her a second time.

She trailed after him with a reluctant tug, nothing but a flimsy hospital gown and Kakashi's oversized grey vest to shield her from the frosted night. Sasuke flexed his fingers slightly over her cooling skin – he needed to get her back – his urgency doubling when she opened her mouth to speak.

"You were going to leave again, weren't you? Just like that."

He continued forward, leading her back along the snow-dense path. "You shouldn't be out in this chill. You're supposed to be a doctor."

She pulled again, bite to her tone. "Not even a real goodbye this time? Or was I supposed to be content with that little stunt you pulled last night?"

He didn't glance back, her small weight a little harder to steer when she began digging her heels in. "You're still recovering, Sakura. Stop being stubborn."

"Enough!" She pulled harder and he let her go, though she didn't stray far. Instead, she pushed into his space and demanded his attention. "We're not doing this again. Talk to me, damnit."

She was luminescent under the half-moon; all fierce emerald eyes and glowing rose quartz hair. Mist curled past her lips as she glared up at him, though the pink flush to her cheeks and nose dulled her impressive glower.

"Help me to understand, Sasuke."

His smirk was lukewarm at best, the irony not lost on him even if it appeared it was on her. "If you knew to find me here tonight, then you already do."

Sakura jut her chin, her hands curling into fists. He wondered how they'd feel beaten upon his chest, he wondered if she truly did blame him for taking away the very strength and wonder of those small hands.

"Stop that." She said. "I'm not settling for your ambiguities tonight, Sasuke. Tell me. I want to hear it from your mouth. Why are you leaving?"

"For the same reason I can't stay." Don't make me say it, Sakura.

Her nose scrunched, a ruinous blaze to her eyes as she reared her shoulders back and all but scorned him with her beauty.

"Sasuke, I swear to Kami – "

"Would you trade Konoha for me."

There, he said it.

It wasn't a question, not in the way that he was searching for an answer. He knew it well enough, but did she? Had she ever bothered to ponder the notion he proposed to her all those weeks ago when he first stole her from Konoha?

Sakura, for her part, stuttered to a halt, her body losing its tension as she stared at him with something closer to soft confusion. "What?"

Sasuke armed himself with his genetic gift of controlled neutrality. His voice made no inflection, no sway towards any of his thoughts or feelings on the matter of his statement. Because that's what it was, a statement. Not a question. Not really.

"If I asked you right now, would you come with me and never look back. Would you, Sakura, leave everything behind for me?" He watched her, all wide eyes and parted lips. And there he made the first of many final blows. "Because I couldn't do that for you."

She recoiled as if slapped but recovered quickly enough. "I wouldn't ask you to – "

"No, you wouldn't, would you." He interrupted gently, almost mocking if she didn't read the twisted fondness behind his gaze. "Instead you'd let me take you from your home again, lead you unto paths that would part you further and further from the people that love you. And, given enough time, you'd resent me for it."

His voice trailed off into silent wisps of cold air, and Sasuke let it settle over Sakura; studying the way her face contorted from surprise, into comprehension until finally a simmering frustration was painting her lovely face. Well, he'd found his words for her. They both shouldn't have been surprised to know they would be grim and cutting.

"That's not fair." She said lowly, a curl to her shoulders as she withdrew from him.

"I've never claimed to be."

She flinched again, but Sasuke had to continue. For her sake, for his own sanity, she had to hear it. He had hoped she wouldn't come tonight – that maybe all this would be unwarranted and they could part the way they always had; with a one-sided goodbye and everything unsaid. The proof of her presence here, however, cemented all that he hoped to avoid, and everything he wished were different.

"Sakura, you love Konoha, you once loved me. But if I asked you to sacrifice your home, your life here for me, would you?" He didn't let her think to answer. "I'm selfish. I wouldn't be able to give up my past for you, so how can I ask you to give up your future for me?"

Her eyes were wide, darting over his face. She was confused, she was hurting and with a strained voice she demanded. "What are you saying?"

Sasuke took a step forward, breaching the careful distance even as she continued to glare at him; all fire and passion.

"You have a family, friends and a life here. I can't give you that. The most I could give you is my heart." He drew a breath, fighting not to look away. "But you already have that, and it's not enough, is it?"

"I… you – ?"

There was a snap.

Sakura had stepped on a twig in her startle backwards, almost tumbling straight unto the snow bitten ground. Sasuke reached for her, but instead his hand hooked unto the lose material of Kakashi's vest, catching her. A shallow frown pinched his brow even as he curled his hand and slowly pulled her back. But her eyes were unfocused, likely elsewhere along with her racing mind.

She didn't notice as he slowly slid his hand from the vest to rest at the crest of her nape, counting her thrumming heartbeats, and memorising the softness of her skin. Just as she didn't notice the growing solemnity behind his obsidian eyes, tracing her features over and over in his mind. Those absorbing, obsessing, coveting habits smoothing out into reverent remembrance.

He knew her, once. That pastel cherry blossom pink. Those bright, innocent gem eyes. A smile without hardship, skin without scars. A girl who laid her heart bare for him time and again. He knew that Sakura. But the woman before him… She was of a magnificence and complexity he could hardly dare comprehend.

Her eyes had grown a darker edge, her smile a little harder to win, her skin a map of unfamiliarity's – the things he'd missed, the distance they'd bared, the achievements that moulded her. All of it, unshared. Perhaps she had been his once, and perhaps once he had allowed himself to be hers for a time. But now…

Now, Sasuke was content just to share these moments with her; precious parts of his soul that belonged to her and yet she could never hope to hold on to. Real, transitory, and soon to reach its next conclusion.

It had long been his turn to draw his own courage and lay the most important parts of him bare. And so he did.

"This is who I am, Sakura." He breathed softly. "This is my path and I'm choosing it. You deserve more than the things I can't give you. I will never stop leaving you…"

He had realised it somewhere between returning and reconciling, that the differences they shared now outnumbered connections they harboured. It wasn't some terrible tragedy, it wasn't even a great mourning of loss. It was merely a matter of life, a fact of living; a precious token he would take where ever he went.

Sakura and Naruto meant more to him than anything else in the world; he loved them more than he could love any other. That was a bond that could never be broken, would forever remain unbent so long as he lived.

But, they were only parts of him, just as he was only parts of them. None of them would ever be enough for the other – not when their worlds had shifted and long grown beyond just Team Seven. Not when one would always have to sacrifice for the other.

This wasn't his home; wasn't where he belonged. He'd made peace with that long ago, it was high time he let those most precious to him make that same peace themselves. He wouldn't stay – not for Sakura, not for Naruto, not even for the chance at an old and dusty dream.

He knew who he was, what he wanted, and none of it fit within the green gates of Konoha. Not long enough for it to count anyway.

Sasuke gripped Sakura's shoulder and willed her to understand.

"Our paths are different, they have been for a long time. And I won't take away your future. I would rather die than take away yours and Naruto's dreams."

This was the choice he was making, the choice he had made over and over again. Only this time, it was for the right reasons.

Let me do this, Sakura. For us.

Sakura snapped her eyes up, Sasuke's words like a drum upon her ears, a hammer to her mind. Something desperate welled up inside to make it all stop – an old ugly truth – and she let it run away from her before she could hope to repress it.

"You were my dream, Sasuke-kun."

She wanted to shy away from it. But once upon a time it was all that had driven her forward, with equal parts sorrow and anger. She couldn't change the past. She wouldn't change who she'd become from it.

"Maybe once." Sasuke murmured, brows drawn together, "But we both know that your dreams are bigger than one man."

Part of her burned to be acknowledged by him in that regard, but the feat was dulled by the gentle resignation in his eyes. "That doesn't mean you aren't still part of it, Sasuke."

She pressed forward and only then did Sakura feel the heat of his palm at her nape. A moment of hesitation encompassed them as she glanced from his hand to his morphing face; the touch a foreign breach and yet a sacred tether. Sasuke tensed and went to withdraw but Sakura pounced, grabbing hold of his arm and keeping him steady where they were connected – always repeating, repeating, repeating the same moments.

"Do you love me, Sasuke-kun?" She asked because she had to. The things he had been saying made it sound as if… as though –

Again, she felt the way his body went rigid as though struck with a kunai rather than a question. His expression was heavy when he answered, "Not in the way you need."

She shook her head, his palm at the base of her neck now. "How do you know? You won't even try."

"I did." Sasuke breathed quietly. "And you fell in love… Just not with me." His fingers shifted upwards to play with the ends of her hair and suddenly his eyes were hard with a type of scorn that seemed to enfold back on itself. "But you refuse to see it. You refuse to see anyone's love for you, because I blinded you to it."

She couldn't stop shaking her head, her hands still clung stupidly over his arm. "I don't understand. Sasuke… after all this time?"

Sakura couldn't comprehend half of what he was saying; a complete jumble between everything she thought she wanted to hear, and the very last thing she ever wanted to know. It all felt wrong; mismatched pieces being jarred together in a frantic scramble to make it all make sense. She didn't understand.

Why now? Why never?

But Sasuke was speaking again, infuriatingly calm in the face of her ruin.

"You and Naruto will always be my home, Sakura. But I cannot give a home to you, to our children if we were to have them. I can't do that, because I can't promise I'll stay in a village that once took my family from me, even if that village is where my new family is; it can never be home. This isn't where I belong."

Sakura sucked in a breath even as Sasuke let his hand fall to his side. Home. Family. A future. All at once within arm's reach and yet he was taking it away without a moment's hesitation. Her side was throbbing, she needed to lie down, needed to take a swing at his perfect face.

She squeezed his hand, both of hers now wrapped around his with bruising strength. "Sasuke please, just hold on – "

"You can't love a ghost, Sakura." He said, leaning his face in as though he had to physically break the words over her skin for her to understand. "I could only love you from afar. And that is not a love worth devoting yourself to, because I can't devote myself to you anymore than I already have." His lips curled, half wistful. "It's all I have, and it's always been yours and Naruto's."

She felt lightheaded, sick to her stomach. He loved her. Loved them both. The damned jerk was confessing to her on the same street she'd laid her heart bare for him. And yet he was leaving. Always leaving. She needed to sit, but her legs had locked themselves into position the moment she stepped foot on this kami-forsaken road. How could he?

Sakura glared up at him, anger festering at him, at his shitty timing and damn justifications – always making the decisions about whatever 'them' there could ever claim to exist. How she wanted to hate him in that moment. Perhaps a part of her already did.

"Stop it." She spat. "Just, shut up."

He did not even relent that to her. "So long as I live, I will never stop disappointing you, Sakura. I don't want you to get used to it."

"Then stay."

For Naruto, for Team Seven, stay for yourself! How she wanted him to want this; them, as they are, who they've become. Konoha, home and all it entails. For she knew in her bones that the only world in which Sasuke stayed would be the world which gave him more than she or Naruto could ever give.

Her 'when' had come for her, and all her 'what ifs' were rapidly dissolving into 'if onlys'. Perhaps they had come for her long ago, when Sasuke's absence had faded to a dull ache and not some gaping loss.

He was right, she had blinded herself to it. And now she couldn't even mourn the loss of years spent loving this man… Her grief had already passed and imbedded its lesson into her heart; scarred over tissue which only truly hurt when she spent too long prodding at its hardened edges.

Well, he was wrong about one thing at least. She was beginning to get used to the foul taste of disappointment.

What the hell did it all mean?

"If you can tell me that you love me, then I'll stay."

Sakura ripped her eyes up to his; all onyx mysteries wrapped up behind a cool veneer of tempered steel. It was cruel, completely unfair. But the answer had always been the same, would be until the end of time.

"Sasuke, of course I – "

"No, Sakura." He sounded stern, a gravel to his voice as he all but stopped himself from shaking his head at her. "Not familial love. I'm asking if you're in love with me."

The world felt a little more weighted for all his talking and Sakura pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, hesitating, calculating. A stray thought whispered its betrayal up her spine. I could lie. And suddenly she felt hot and cold with the errant thought. She abruptly shut the door on the whirling complexities of her battered heart.

No, no, no. This can't be how it ends. I can't just give up. After everything - !

But then Sasuke was squeezing her hand, urging her up with a soft voice and an uncompromising grip. "Be honest with me, Sakura. Be honest with yourself. I'm making my choice. You have to make yours." He flexed his fingers. "…Come with me, or stay."

Sakura ripped her hand from his and stumbled back from the force of her actions. "That's bullshit and you know it, Sasuke." Anger was safe, anger was easy, justified even. "You can't dictate my options then demand me to choose, asshole!"

She was breathing hard, something rotten and snarling slipping in from behind that closed door – wailing at her that she was being abandoned again, forever unwanted. Yet Sasuke was as calm as midnight; a soft edge to his pressing tone, a worn fervour to his dark eyes.

"You're at a crossroads, Sakura. The same one I've left you at for years." He took a step forward. "And for years you've been waiting for someone else to make the decision for you. Well, now I'm forcing your hand. What comes first to you?"

She wanted to rip at her hair, stomp her foot, scream the way she had over ten years ago in this very spot, and she hated herself for it. She couldn't contain the ugly garble of emotions from pushing back against her feeble barricade. Everything was going wrong and life couldn't give her a fucking break to process any of it.

She took her frustration out on the nearest target, knowing he deserved at least half right now. The deflection was a weak front, but it was all she had left of the sorry mess he'd cast her into, broken pieces and all.

"Why must it even be a choice? You know what I want!"

The heat to his eyes intensified as Sasuke challenged, "Do I? Do you? What do you want Sakura?"

She faltered, off guard, off centre. "I… I – "

"Well?" Another inch closer.

Another stumble back. "Just give me a moment to – "

"Answer me."

"Sasuke – " Stop. Please.

"What do you want, Sakura?"

"I don't want this!"

The shout tumbled out of her mouth gracelessly and it was like a dam had burst.

"I don't want your ridiculous ultimatums and goddamned arrogance thinking that everything has to be about you! I don't want to be waiting off every action, every breath you take as though I still have everything to prove. I don't want silence and never knowing when your next letter might come, if ever. I don't want to spend my life standing on this road waiting to be the one you choose. I don't want to be this girl anyone. I'm not her."

Something liquid hot burned behind her eyes. She was incensed, irrefutably betrayed by Sasuke, by herself! All the things she'd never given herself the chance to realise, to say out loud. Years of pent up allowances, of pretending things didn't bother her, that the loneliness didn't gnaw on her. She had let herself become blind to it all, to get accursedly used to it.

"Hn." Sasuke hummed, maybe because he truly was the bastard Naruto always declared him to be. "Then what do you want?"

He pushed her that final inch over the edge, and with a roar Sakura screamed at him until she was hoarse.

"I want my life back! I-I want my chakra. I want my future. I want my village, my home. I want a family." Her breath caught. "I… I want a full house and a w-warm bed and children. Kami, Sasuke I want children."

Blood was rushing in her ears, a scorch to her every cell as words tumbled out of her mouth in a desperate chase into freedom. And it hurt.

"I want them to grow up with a loving family. I want to be a mother, I want to be a wife. I want to have dinners in my tiny kitchen with our team, and go on coffee dates with Ino and complain about everything and nothing. I want to visit my parents on the weekends and work weekdays at the hospital between missions."

Her eyes were growing blurry but she couldn't stop.

"I want to feel strong again. I want to help people until the day I die! And I want love dammit! I just want someone to choose me!"

Her voice broke on the last word and with it, the misshapen pieces of the puzzles became aligned – one small click away from being whole.

"Sakura."

She didn't want to hear the sympathy in his tone, nor see the soft torment in his eyes. But she held her ground just as she held her head high. Those sorry pieces were sealing their jagged edges together with the dregs of her bruised pride and self-worth to build the picture of her future. She couldn't ignore it now even if she tried.

"I want a life here, Sasuke-kun… This is my home. I waited for you for so, so long. And now…" She looked away, cursing him to the very depths of her fragmented soul. "Damn you. How dare you let me get used to the distance."

She was panting, trembling as she stood in the middle of the damn road, in a damn hospital gown with nothing but adrenaline and anger holding her upright. It was all bullshit. He was bullshit and she… she -

"You know my choice." Sasuke pressed once more, the bastard. "What is yours?"

She knew now that the tender scars of her heart had healed long ago.

Sakura took a breath, eyes still hot but never crossing the threshold into tears. She wouldn't cry over him again. She wouldn't.

"You jerk." She sniffed, chin set. "I can't keep letting everything I want slip away for someone else. I won't sacrifice my future, not when I know ours are different."

She met Sasuke head on and decided. "I choose me."

Then, for the first time that night, Sasuke's smiled; peaceful and beatific. "Good."

"Shut up, you bastard." She snarled at him even as something took flight in her chest.

She wanted to hate that ridiculous look of contented relief on his face. She had wanted him to fight for her, fight for them. But… did she really? Or was it just the latent anger of a little girl's broken heart and fanciful daydreams? Sakura never truly had let her mourn. She owed herself, Kami how she owed that little girl and her stubborn conviction for all things unreachable. She had made Sakura into the unbreakable woman she was today. And damned if she didn't live every inch of a life that little girl – she – deserved.

You're going to be okay. She promised herself. You've been okay for a long time now.

Sakura dipped her chin and breathed into the subtle scent of pine and soap lingering at her chest, burying her cold face into the heavy material. She wasn't sure how long they stood there after that, letting the frosty air trail its' fingertips over their exposed skin in gentle whirls. She simply held her ground and Sasuke simply stayed, as if knowing she hadn't yet said her entire piece.

In the end he was right.

"Would you have let me go with you…" Sakura murmured into the vest, voice slightly sore. "If I chose you?"

Sasuke inhaled deeply as if such a question had been weighing on him long before she ever thought to voice it. "I don't think either of us would've been able to live with ourselves if I did. Maybe things would've worked for a while, but… our futures are different. We'd be right back here eventually, every time. This has always been our crossroads, Sakura."

That was the first bit of right that had come to settle across her shoulders the whole night, and yet Sakura couldn't help her distaste for it. It was tiring.

"I hate this." She sniffed, the warmth of her agitation dimming until she began to feel the snow sinking through the soles of her hospital socks, the numbness of her fingers and toes. She was cold, growing dazed but she didn't want to leave. She didn't want him to leave just yet.

"Don't." Sasuke said, and it took her a moment to realise what he meant. "You have to put yourself first, Sakura. Keep putting yourself first until the day someone else can do it for you. Don't settle for anything less. For me."

"Your final selfish request?" She snarked weakly, though Sasuke only looked at her with eyes that spoke of nothing short of affection.

"It would be more selfish to stay, Sakura… Knowing it would not be for good." He closed the liminal distance between them – and how had she never noticed that soft tilt to his ruby eyes? – until their chests almost brushed. "But if you'll let me, I'd like to be selfish with you, one last time."

Sakura only vaguely knew what was happening as Sasuke lifted his hand to her cheek and stroked its curve to hold her jaw. It was everything she had once ever wanted, and Sakura gave herself into old dreams and fanciful love stories as she closed her eyes.

The first brush of Sasuke's lips were chaste; cool thin lips passing over hers once, then twice until he grew confident enough to bruise her with his goodbye. Her hands buried themselves into the black material that was swung over his shoulders, bunching into fistfuls as she met the force of his kiss. It was rough, wetter than she ever anticipated; her first real kiss, she realised slowly.

And it was everything and nothing like she expected it to be.

Sasuke snagged her bottom lip and bit into it, and a strange sound escaped her. In the next moment his tongue was parting her open lips and then it was a battle for dominance. His hand cradled her jaw, secured but so gentle and Sakura met him with tugs for closeness, pulls of desperation.

How dare he, how dare he, how dare he!

It mounted her energy, pushed her forward until she was pushing him backwards. Her hands moved to his face, cupping his perfect cheeks and gliding fingers up into his raven hair to grab and pull. But Sasuke didn't back down – damned if the bastard let anyone win him out of anything – and Sakura was rewarded with a guttural grunt, a hot sweep of tongue and a firm tug of her own cropped locks. The harsh action broke them apart, wrenching her head back and there they paused, exchanging their uneven breaths with the midnight winter's air.

Sakura memorised the wild craze to his crimson eyes, the soft glean of saliva across his rosy lips, the pinch of pure adoration across his moonlit face. Then Sasuke scratched his blunt nails against her scalp and her eyes were screwing shut of their own accord, a mewl escaping her.

And when they surged back for more, the dance had at once changed. A shift of rhythm had Sakura sinking into his hold as Sasuke held her and simply took with all the veneration he possessed. Slowly, the dregs of their passion transformed to guide them into the gentle sway of melancholy. Their kisses were slow, almost sloppy in meeting but most of all, they were bittersweet.

I'm sorry. He seemed to say.

I know. She responded.

It wasn't until her head was pressed fiercely against his neck that Sakura realised they had stopped kissing at some point. She smelt him then – ozone and the clove oil he used to wet his blade – and how had she never known his scent?

But the moment bade her to feel and so she did. The hammering of his pulse, the raggedness of his breath, the warm hard press of his body against hers. Everything she was saying goodbye to, all that had at once been hers and yet never had the chance to know. Everything she had already let go.

"Would you have ever stayed for me, for us?" She whispered her words into the heated skin of his neck, half-hoping he hadn't heard so that she'd never have to hear his answer.

But Sasuke was not so kind. He curled his hand through her short hair and pulled her head back just enough to meet his swirling red eyes. Twirling a lock, he slid his palm back over her jawline and cupped her cheek. His eyes darted back and forth as if soaking in every last detail of a face he would never again get to hold.

Then he was leaning forward, planting his lips firmly across her seal in a beautiful mockery of every precious token of affection he'd ever given her.

"Maybe next time…" He mouthed reverently into her skin before leaning back to catch her eyes. "Perhaps in another life."

It was the final blow that sealed all the pieces in place with a tender, aching touch. "Jerk." She whispered, because it was all she had for the boy of her dreams and the man of her heartache.

Sasuke caught the tear before it could fall, wiping it from the apple of her cheek with a gentle thumb. Still, his eyes were that breathtaking ruby dragging the mark of their sight over every inch of her until she was all but threaded raw under his peerless gaze.

Sakura let go first, she had to; with stubborn hands and a heart full of scars. And slowly Sasuke stepped away too, achingly extracting himself from her until their habitual distance returned.

It was happening. Their goodbye had come to its end, and this was the moment.

Their crossroads.

Despite her caught breath and kiss-bruised lips, Sakura found her voice.

"Be safe." She said. "You bastard."

For she knew now; knew what it was like to love Sasuke the way Naruto loved Sasuke. The things she'd do for him, the terrible atrocities she would put herself through, and the parts of herself she knew to keep sacred.

For the first time, in a long time, she understood. She accepted Sasuke as who he truly was, and their places in each other's lives. She loved him the way he loved her – just enough to let the other go.

Sasuke smiled then, striking as starlight, and Sakura bit her lip against the way it made her want to cry and scream at him all over again. His eyes rested fondly on her for a long moment before they flickered behind her towards the village and there his gaze remained, inscrutable.

"…Look after them, Sakura."

She didn't have to guess as to whom he meant, what he meant, and it was a strange phenomenon to be so privy to the extent of his love, scarcely said. That didn't stop it from hurting though.

"Always." She promised.

Because that was the unspoken vow they had all made to one another in the deepest trenches of Team Seven. One way or another Sakura knew she would find her strength again, even if she had to reforge herself in the Will of Fire and the blood of her knuckles. For she had promises to keep.

Then she was back under Sasuke stare, equal parts adoring and firm. This time, she was prepared for the tender touch of his forefingers against her forehead, caressing her and curling a wayward piece of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you, Sakura." He repeated on a precious mantra. "For everything."

And it felt like the cycle had found its end – the moment laid to rest in mutual parting. With a warm smile and a final flare of crimson, Sasuke turned his back and tread the familiar crossroads of their path.

And Sakura stood her ground on that road, watching the fluttering of a fan on Sasuke's back disappear into the shadows of midnight.

A hallowed repetition finally reaching its conclusion.

"Be safe." She repeated on a prayer.

She refused to cry.

Ino stood frozen as she watched the aftermath of a decade of love lose its battle to time. She stood frozen as Haruno Sakura said goodbye to Uchiha Sasuke.

There was a gentle touch along her hand and Ino snapped back to stare at Sai's thoughtful frown. He looked just as lost as she felt, a deep frown drawn into the crevasse of his fair face. Pale blue eyes then wondered over to the stiff figure of their Rokudaime, standing as still as carved stone, watching.

Ino had to look away from the grief in his slate grey eyes as he gazed upon their shattered pinkette, standing once more alone in the wake of Sasuke. But there was something else that was mixing in with the charcoal of his dark eyes, and Ino let her mind drift.

She knew that look in a man's eyes, and she was only half-surprised to see it in Kakashi's now. A piquing thought had her wondering, Does Forehead know? But one glance back to the lonely girl on the street had priorities streaking back into the forefront of her mind.

"Hokage-sama, will you help Sai back to the hospital please?"

It was instruction, an order really, and Kakashi took it with the good grace of one who understood better than he let on. With a nod, he tore himself away and shouldered Sai's weight with gentle hands.

He spared one final look before imparting, "Take care of her, Ino."

She didn't need to be told twice. When Ino nimbly landed next to Sakura into the snow-bitten street she easily mustered up all the sass of their youth into one drawling tease.

"Hey Dummy, hasn't anyone ever told you that hospital gowns are so last spring?"

Sakura's abrupt startle was more worrying than it was entertaining. "Ino-pig."

And oh those big, glistening green eyes. How Ino wanted to hunt down Sasuke herself just so she could scream at him on her own terms.

"I'm here." She said instead, reaching a hand to grab Sakura's.

That was apparently all it took.

With an unsteady heave, Sakura launched herself into Ino's arms, a dry sob wracking free of her chest. "I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry, Ino."

The shock lasted only a moment when the relief was so strong to have her best friend back within her grasp, after so long, after everything. Ino held her for a short while, hushing her with soothing sounds and gently rubbing circles across her back.

"Easy Forehead-Girl. The only thing you should be sorry about it missing our Hotsprings Extravaganza! You owe me big time." She pulled Sakura back just enough to catch her eyes with a meaningful smile. "Guess I'll just have to keep you all to myself for a little, yeah? No boys allowed."

Sakura's eyes were a touch hazy as she smiled with a wobbling chin. "That sounds nice…" A shudder escaped her then, and Sakura fell a little further into her embrace. "Ino…C-can you take me home?"

The blonde drew a hand down her back consolingly. "Soon, Sak. In the meantime, I've got a fine piece of hunk waiting for me back at the hospital. What say we spruce up his room with a few smokin' hotties?"

Sakura froze, asking in the smallest voice she'd ever heard. "Sai's awake?"

"And asking for you. The nerve of that man asking for another woman when he's got me right beside him." She flicked her hair over her shoulder and watched the way Sakura's eyes went in and out of focus before straying up to meet hers.

Sakura smiled then, a fragile, beautiful thing. "Well, he is still learning."

Ino tucked a stray piece of cotton pink hair behind her head and hummed. "Hmm. I suppose if he's going to be obsessed with another woman, you're a pretty alright pick." She leaned forward until their noses brushed. "I mean, how can I fault his choice when I picked you as mine first."

Wrapped in her arms, Sakura quaked. "Ino..."

"Alright, lets save the love fest for someplace where we aren't freezing our butts off." She glanced at the direction of the hospital before settling Sakura with a triumphant smirk. "Now, you have the choice between the princess carry or a piggyback."

The look of pure embarrassment on Sakura's face was simply priceless. "Uh, n-no… Ino-pig, I can walk."

Like you'd get off that easy, Forehead! Pah!

"Hmm you're right. Can't have your ass hanging out in the piggyback…" She pondered mildly, a finger planted daintily across her bottom lip. "Then I'd have to be fighting off half of Konoha just to see you." With a decisive nod, Ino grinned. "Princess carry it is. And I'll be sure to tell all the Princes' that this Princess has been claimed for the foreseeable future."

With a yelp and flurry of crunchy fabric, Sakura was crested in her arms and Ino was inordinately pleased with herself. She was halfway back to the hospital when a whisper sounded against her shoulder.

"You're ridiculous, Pig."

Ino shook her head, fondness embracing them both. "How do you think we became best friends, Forehead."

They had chosen to wait in Sakura's room, both of them sitting side-by-side on the uncomfortable plastic chairs which never strayed far from her bed. Not that either of us have spent much time here, Kakashi thought with a regretful sigh. For as many times that night, Kakashi glanced carefully over Sai in concealed worry and relief. Sai, for his part, merely let him have his eccentricities, perfectly fine to allow himself be scrutinised time again.

"I am fine, Kakashi-senpai." He said again, and Kakashi again hummed and turned away.

It wasn't long until two more figures joined them, emerging soundlessly from the open window. Kakashi rose to meet them, his eyes strained on Sakura's unconscious figure in Ino's arms.

Sai cocked his head from his seat, watching. "Beautiful. Why are you carrying Sakura like that?"

Ino let a coy smile colour her face as she carefully stepped up to Sakura's bed and arranged the sleeping girl back under the sheets. "Sometimes it's up to the Princess to save the other Princesses."

"I'm afraid I am unfamiliar with that particular fairy tale trope." Sai had leaned forward taking the edge of the blanket and easing it up to Sakura's chin.

Kakashi hesitated at the window, closing it but not venturing any further in. "Is she…?"

Ino spared him a glance. "She's alright. She passed out pretty much immediately after I got to her. How the hell did she make it all the way out there on her own the first time around?"

"She had a purpose." He whispered back, eyes trained on pink hair and ivory skin.

The blonde sighed then, her hands resting on the swell of her hips as she craned her neck side to side. "Well, she's reached her limit for tonight and she needs rest. Come on Sai, we'll be back to see Sakura first thing in the morning."

"I would very much like that." The man assented, allowing Ino to help him back to standing and fetch his crutch.

With a moments' consideration, Ino cast a glance back to the bed and then gently leaned over to press a kiss to Sakura's cheek. "Sleep well, Forehead-Girl."

Both men watched the tender moment unfold in the quietness of the room. But then Sai was shuffling forward to repeat Ino's action with the same tender grace. He pressed his lips to Sakura's cheek and when he pulled back he only paused for a moment, before murmuring.

"Goodnight, Sister."

The room remained silent except for Ino's soft coo as she swiftly retook her place under Sai's arm, nosing his cheek with the bridge of her nose.

"You may be unconventional Sai, but I couldn't have asked for a more Charming Prince."

Kakashi felt oddly like a voyeur, and with a good sense of respect, he kept his eyes firmly on Sakura, allowing the couple their brief privacy as Sai reciprocated her actions with a quiet hum.

"Come." He whispered, just loud enough. "Let's go to bed, Beautiful."

There was a brief strangled sound before Ino loudly cleared her throat. "Ah, excuse us Hokage-sama." She said with a fake smile, so similar to that of Sai's Kakashi could almost find it all rather amusing.

He merely waved them off as Ino shuffled them both towards the door, chastising. "Not that I don't appreciate the bold proposition in front of our Hokage, but you and I both know you are not cleared for that kind of romance mister!"

The door closed with a quiet click and then it was just Kakashi and Sakura. Fate's favourite reprise of abandoned fools. Kakashi cleared the distance between and sank fruitlessly back into the chair, a large sigh escaping him.

"I'm sorry I can't offer you Princes and a fairy tale love… I wouldn't know where to begin." His fingers curled over the plastic chair as he stared at the back of her pink head, his words speaking themselves before he could hope to think better of them. "All I have to offer you is my heart, old and battered as it is. But then again, it's hard to give you that which you already have."

Silence met him and Kakashi abruptly leaned back to run a hand over his face, dragging down his mask to wince of the roof.

"Fuck, what am I saying…? Copy Nin Bakashi, can't even confess to a girl right." His eyes lost focus, the lime plaster of the ceiling becoming blurred. "Obito must be laughing at me right now. Rin would be shaking her head. They've both always known better than me." He dropped his head back to gaze at her "…They would've loved you."

He swallowed roughly, fingers flexing restlessly the longer he bared his heart to her sleeping form.

"Obito would've pissed himself laughing seeing you continuously put me in my place in your various ways – I'm sure he could've convinced you to gang up on me quite easily. And Rin would've been thrilled to have a woman as smart and strong as you to talk with endlessly – you two would've been thick as thieves, I can see it."

He drew a shaky breath. "…I know I've never spoken about my father to you, but…"

Kakashi shook his head. He couldn't go down that road a second time tonight. Instead he thought of the road that had been tread tonight. The one which left them at the doorstep of these very same moments time and again – a boy gone and a girl unconscious.

"I'm sorry you couldn't make him stay." He found himself saying, dipping his chin to his chest before casting his gaze back to her soft pink head. "But I'm more sorry that you have terrible taste in men. And the irony in that is, if you didn't have such terrible taste in men, you would likely never look my way… So here I am, just waiting for you to choose me as your next terrible choice."

He licked his lips, heart racing as he moved to gather one of her hands and warm her cold fingers between his.

"I can't give you much. I'd be sentencing you to shuriken sheet covers, endless dog hair and years' worth of chronically bad habits. But I'd let you win most arguments, I'd kiss you every day, cook you all the saury you could ever want and never stop telling you how much I adore your messy hair. It's stupid how cute you look with mussed hair and that damn pout, Sakura. Honest to Kami, stupid."

His soft laugh dissolved into their shared silence, and with a careful stroke of his thumb over the back of her hand, Kakashi laid the last of himself bare.

"But more than all that, I can swear to you that I would spend the rest of my days making myself a man worthy of your choosing. Your terrible, terrible choosing. And I guess the first step would be to work up the courage to say all of this to you when you're actually conscious…"

He shook his head, his sorry crooked smile witnessed by no one but the last streams of midnight.

"…But like I said, I'm terrible."

Kakashi hung his head, though he never let go of her soft hand. Drawing his fingers over her skin in tender repetition, he entirely missed the steady stream of tears slipping down Sakura's cheek and disappearing into her pillow.

When Kakashi dragged himself back to his office hours later, he was met with a singular piece of parchment on his desk.

Under rising sun and with a sickening twist of deva vu, he thumbed the crisp edges and read its familiar script.

She decided for us.

Look after her.

And against all conceivable odds, he felt a sense of grave, infuriating loss.

Rubbing a hand down his face, Kakashi cast his gaze to the frosted village beyond, the note half crumped between his fingers.

"You damned idiot…. Take care of yourself, Sasuke."

A/N:

When I first started writing this story, it was almost completely different. I can't explain it, but this story truly took on its own form over the course of the years writing it (between work, and life), and I can honestly say that for the longest time I agonised over ships. Both in personal preference and reader preference. (It is a little intimidating to be a writer sometimes, especially in something as controversial as beloved fiction).

But in the end, as this piece evolved and grew I had to do what was right by our characters as they are in this story.

I know I probably don't need to justify my own story, but I just wanted to reiterate how much I truly appreciate every reader who has made it this far - reading and sharing their comments - and to those who respectfully tuned out when they knew this wasn't for them. Therefore, I wrote this little spiel to express both my condolences and gratitude. Whatever way you took the eventuation of 'ships', I promise I've tormented myself over it already haha.

Maybe one day I'll write that happy ending for SasuSaku. But it simply wouldn't be right for this story. Thanks again if you read this.

But the story is not over yet.

So much love team. 3