Previously on 'Between My Captain & Commander': Mikasa figures out that Armin is sleeping with Levi, but does not know about the triad. She believes Levi is cheating on Erwin with Armin, and is shocked her best friend would get involved in such an affair.

Armin asks Levi and Erwin for permission to tell Eren and Mikasa the truth about their relationship. After an argument, the men reluctantly refuse. Unable to keep lying to his best friends, Armin decides to take a break from the triad.

Meanwhile, Armin is busy preparing for the upcoming library event. He's being helped by Floch, his former bully, who he's on better terms with lately. But Floch's past mistreatment of him is a wound that never fully healed, even though Armin wants to move on…

Chapter 27: With or Without You

Armin

After counting the bottles of wine in each case, Armin straightened up with a wince.

"We're missing twelve bottles. Is this all that was delivered?"

"Yeah," Floch said.

"Didn't you check the order when it came in?"

"No, I just assumed it was right." Defensiveness edged into his tone.

Armin rubbed his palms over his face. This was the last thing he needed today.

"Great. Now I'll have to go into town to get the order corrected, and god knows how long that'll take-"

"There's no need to be dramatic, I didn't do it on purpose!" Floch clenched and unclenched his fist. "Look, I'll go into town myself and get it sorted."

As the man headed out of the kitchen, guilt tugged at Armin for snapping. The last minute preparations were definitely getting to him. This event had originally been a small celebration, to mark the new foreign books the library was putting into circulation. But now a whole delegation from Hizuru were attending, led by Lady Azumabito. This necessitated a whole lot more work for such important guests.

It seemed that Armin wasn't the only one on edge. Floch had been acting strange ever since he got back from visiting his family in Mitras. He'd returned from the trip with a large bruise on his cheek. When Armin asked about it, Floch brushed off his concern and said he'd simply hurt himself in a fall. But he'd been in a solemn mood all week, showing little of his usual enthusiasm for their regular chats about books. Which was a pity, because Armin could do with a distraction.

He pulled his to-do list out of his pocket. Thankfully, they'd tackled most of the cleaning over the last few days. Levi had offered to help, and roped his squad into it too. Now the library's windows gleamed, the wooden floor was polished, and this morning Armin had helped Emilia arrange an assortment of potted plants and vases of winter flowers around the spacious foyer where the event would be held.

The rest of today's focus was on organising the tables and seating, and overseeing the delivery of food and drink into storage in the kitchen.

Putting his list away with a sigh, Armin returned to the library.

The Head Librarian was in the process of moving a heavy chair across the room.

"I told you to wait until I got back to do that," Armin chided her. "What's the point having a soldier working here if you can't make me do all the physical labour?"

"I might not be young or a soldier, but I'm not completely useless!" Emilia straightened up, voice ringing with mock-offence.

"Alright, let's lift them together," Armin compromised.

They headed to the stacks of chairs lining the wall and got to work. Chatting to the bubbly Head Librarian eased some of his tension. They speculated about tomorrow's event – including how Lady Azumabito would react to the news that Mikasa was engaged.

"You missed Erwin by the way," Emilia said. "He came in earlier to check how we were getting along with the preparations, and to thank us for our hard work."

"That was nice." Armin kept his tone neutral.

But a turmoil of emotions raged inside him. Had he made the wrong choice in taking a break from his relationship with Levi and Erwin? Was he being unfair to insist that he couldn't continue with the triad, unless he could tell Eren and Mikasa about it?

He'd met up with the men once since their big argument. And they still hadn't been able to come to a decision about anything. Armin hated to give them this ultimatum. But the pressure of keeping the relationship a secret from his best friends was unbearable.

Their argument also highlighted new complexities of a triad relationship. Even though Armin had been the source of the conflict, Levi had been angry at Erwin too, simply for being supportive of Armin. They'd put the Commander in a very difficult position, caught between his two partners' conflicting needs.

How many more arguments like this will we face? How can we compromise the needs of three people? It feels like someone will always have to lose.

On his date with Erwin before the argument, Armin had asked him directly if his presence was having a negative impact on Levi and Erwin's relationship. Erwin hadn't denied the challenges of the triad. But he'd told Armin he was 'worth it'.

Armin wasn't so sure. What if this triad tore their own relationship apart? What if nobody ended up happy at the end of it all?

Maybe… maybe it's best if I just pretend I'm not interested in it anymore. Surely that's the kindest thing I can do for them?

Whatever happens, I need to get this event over and done with first. Then I'll figure out what I'll do next…

Just as Armin and Emilia were finishing up with arranging the furniture, Floch returned.

"That's all sorted." His breath was heavy, like he'd ran all the way in and out of town. "The wine shop apologised for the oversight, and they've just delivered the extra bottles. I stored them away in the kitchen with the others."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," Armin said. "Sorry I lashed out at you earlier."

Floch shrugged. "You were right, it was my mistake. Do you need help with anything else?"

An hour later, Armin, Floch and Emilia finally finished up for the day. They stood in wide foyer of the library and admired the results of everybody's hard work. The Head Librarian beamed fondly around the room.

"When I took this post fifteen years ago, I never imagined all the changes we'd see. But now we've got books from all over the world, and foreign dignitaries coming to visit!" She shook her head. "Anyway, we should get some rest before tomorrow."

"Oh I forgot," Floch said quickly, "the wine shop gave us an extra bottle of wine to apologise for the mix up. Since there's plenty for the event, I was thinking maybe you should take it?"

"That's sweet of you dear, but I'm not fond of alcohol." Emilia looked between both men. "Why don't the two of you enjoy it instead? You've both worked every bit as hard as I have with the preparations."

Floch's face went bright red, the bruise standing out purple on his cheek.

Is he blushing at her praise, or just uncomfortable at her suggestion?

Before Armin could figure out how he himself felt about it, Emilia ushered them out so she could lock the place up for the night. When they entered the hallway outside, Floch turned to him.

"You should take the wine. Share it with your friends. It's a bottle of Anuren Dark, I left it in the kitchen with the rest."

Armin's stomach churned. Who exactly would he share it with?

While he was still friends with Levi and Erwin, drinking with them didn't feel like the best idea while they were on a relationship break. And things were awkward with Mikasa since she found out he was sleeping with Levi. He could meet up with Eren, but he'd picked up on the tension between his fiancé and his best friend. Armin couldn't face any more questions right now.

But I could really do with unwinding before tomorrow, these last few days have been hell.

Floch looked just as tired as him – with dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept properly, and stubble covering his cheeks.

Maybe he could do with relaxing too…

"Why don't we share it, like Emilia said?" Armin asked.

"What? You mean… right now?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"I don't know if…" Floch stared down at his boots, brows furrowed. Then his expression shifted. "You know what? You're right. I could do with a drink. But do you mind if we go somewhere quiet?"

Floch poured a generous amount of wine into two glasses, and handed one to Armin. Glass in hand, he wandered around Armin's quarters – examining everything from the wildlife sketches hung on the wall (drawn by Eren), to the various trinkets and books displayed on a set of shelves.

"You've got a lot of stuff in here," Floch commented, picking up a large seashell. "What's this?"

"Mikasa found that on the beach during our last visit to the sea." Armin sat down on his bed, trying a sip of wine. The sweet aftertaste contrasted with the bitterness he felt at not being able to share it with Eren and Mikasa. Or Erwin and Levi…

"So are all these things gifts from your friends?"

"Not all, but mostly."

Floch moved away. "You're running out of space. You'll need a new shelf soon." He perched on the chair by the desk and drained half his wineglass in one go.

"Hey, I think you're supposed to sip that."

Floch snorted. "I grew up in one of the wealthiest families in Mitras. Don't you think I know about social etiquette?" He took another long swig, before refilling his glass. "It's been such a long, shitty week that I couldn't care less."

He seemed to relax under the influence of the alcohol, and soon was doing most of the talking. For some reason, he was very intent on finding out everything Armin knew about Emilia – whether she was married, if she had children, and what she enjoyed doing outside of the library.

"I know she lives with her sister in town. But she's never mentioned a partner, or children."

"So she's single?" Floch asked hopefully.

Now it was Armin's turn to snort out a laugh. "What, are you thinking of asking her on a date?"

Floch's gaze tilted down into his glass. An echo of a scowl crossed his features.

Crap. Maybe he actually does like her!

"I mean, I'm just surprised. She's a good bit older than you." By twenty-five years, to be precise.

The red-haired man sighed. "Yeah. It's stupid, right? It's just she's been so nice to me these last few months. She's uh… she's kind of the reason I started going to the library in the first place. I was never a big reader before that. But I went there one day when I was bored, and she came over and started recommending things to read."

Apart from some of their previous discussions about books, this was the chattiest Armin had ever seen Floch. And while he was certain Emilia didn't have any romantic interest in him, he could see why the man had become besotted with her. Showing him kindness at a time when he was isolated from his peers obviously had a powerful effect.

"I know it won't go anywhere though. She just sees me as a kid." Floch stared resignedly down at his glass again, before taking another gulp. "What about you? Are you dating anyone?"

This was not the direction Armin wanted the conversation to go in.

"Not since Jean." He shrugged, fingers toying with his bedspread, thinking of Levi and Erwin. "Maybe it's best that I stay single for now. It's less complicated."

Floch swept his gaze around the room, fixing on Eren's sketches on the wall, and the shelves full of presents.

"At least you've got your friends. You're lucky to have them."

A wave of understanding swept over Armin. So this explained Floch's fascination with the items in his room. To someone with no friends, it must be strange to see all these signs of friendship displayed so prominently in a private space.

Don't feel too sorry for him. It's his own fault he doesn't have any friends! During our cadet years, he always acted as if coming from a wealthy family made him better than everyone else.

And then there's the way he treated me…

But Floch had been like a different person these last few months. Had the isolation from his peers finally gotten to him? While he'd never apologised to Armin for what happened on the night of their graduation, it was clear he was trying to make amends in some way.

Why should it be my responsibility to help him move on? It's one thing to be civil with him while we're working in the library together. But that doesn't make us friends.

Still… it was hard for Armin to ignore someone in pain. It was why he'd engaged in animated discussions with the man about books they both enjoyed, and the reason he'd offered Floch the chance to help out with the library event. Not to mention why he suggest sharing the bottle of wine tonight.

Armin wanted to move on from their past too. Maybe with time, the humiliation and shame the man had put him through would dissolve into a distant memory.

He tilted the wineglass between his lips, taking a large gulp. Stop thinking about the past. Focus on the present.

"Are you looking forward to the event tomorrow?"

Floch shrugged. "I don't know if I'll go."

"Wait, what?"

"I'll still help you and Emilia out in the morning," he added hurriedly. "Just… I wasn't planning on going to the actual event."

"You've put hours of your time into preparing for it. Do you really not want to go?"

Floch shifted in his seat, angling his face towards the bookcase so Armin couldn't see it. He picked a thick book off the shelf and began flicking through it.

"Where did you get this, can I borrow it?"

It was the astrological book Levi and Erwin had gifted Armin for his recent birthday. But Armin refused to be distracted.

"Floch. Why aren't you going to the event?"

The man exhaled loudly, closing the book and clutching it between his hands.

"It's not like anyone wants me there."

They were edging dangerously close to a topic Armin wasn't sure he was ready to discuss. He tried to stay calm, despite his hammering heart.

"That's not true. Emilia and I want you there."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Floch returned the book to the shelf with a thud. "I can understand Emilia's kindness. But you… Armin, you should hate me! After everything I did, why are you even talking to me?"

"You just seem so lonely."

"I don't need your pity!" Floch's voice wavered. "Everything is my own fault."

Armin was at a loss for how to respond. He couldn't bring himself to protest that he didn't pity Floch – because that wasn't entirely true. Pity had indeed spurred his tolerance for the man lately.

"You have no idea what a piece of scum I am." Floch snatched his wineglass back up, knuckles taut. "Last weekend, I was so stupidly happy when my father invited me to Mitras. He's barely spoken to me since I failed to get into the Military Police last year. But I should have known he wanted something."

His words spewed out like water from a broken dam, as if he could no longer hold them back.

"My father asked me to spy on Erwin. To find any incriminating evidence that could be used against him to ruin his reputation. He said… he said if I was successful, then he'd use his contacts to help get me a place in the Military Police."

Armin couldn't believe what he was hearing. But then again, maybe it wasn't so surprising. Floch's father was Alastair Forster – leader of the traditionalist faction, and very vocal about his dislike of liberal figures like Erwin who were encouraging bonds with foreign countries. While it was never confirmed, Armin heard rumours that it was Alastair who had initiated the investigation into Erwin a few weeks ago.

And now he was using his own son in his despicable schemes.

If Floch's been spying on Erwin, has he discovered my relationship with him and Levi?

The crimson liquid in Armin's wineglass sloshed in his trembling hands. Would his involvement with Levi and Erwin come to nothing but shame, scandal and regrets? He'd been selfish to agree to the triad, putting his silly romantic dreams ahead of what was rational.

"Did you – did you agree to your father's request?" Armin asked in a rough whisper, the soft fabric of his bedspread bunching under his fist.

"No."

The surge of relief that crashed over Armin left him light-headed. And there was something else too – indignation on Floch's behalf, for being put in such a terrible position by a person who should know better.

"You did the right thing, it must have been hard to stand up to him."

"You don't understand, I actually considered it!" Floch rubbed his hand over his sleep-deprived eyes, leaving them even redder. "All I wanted since I was a cadet was to join the Military Police. The chance to finally get in, and also win my father's respect at the same time… it was so tempting.

"But then I thought about everything Erwin's done for the Survey Corps, and his support of international ties to help our country move forward. Whereas my father… he wants Paradis to stay the same. He hates outsiders coming in and 'manipulating us'. But I think he's just afraid of losing his power. So I told him I wouldn't do it – that Erwin is more of a man than he ever was."

"What happened?"

Floch's fingers traced the dark bruise on his cheek, almost hidden by a layer of stubble.

"I've never seen him so furious. He – he hit me. And then he called me a pathetic, worthless waste of space who'll achieve nothing in his life."

The words scratched the surface of Armin's memory of Floch's attack. The insults he'd thrown at him that night:

… You're a pathetic weakling that everyone pities. Your friends despise you for being so fucking useless all the time. And you'll never change, you'll always be worthless and a burden on everyone else. I might not have made it into the Military Police, but you're the one with no future…

Armin didn't believe it was a coincidence.

"That's more or less what you told me. The night of the graduation party."

"Yeah." Floch stared down at his hands, the wineglass shaking. "It's not the first time my father said that to me. He wrote it in a letter, after he found out I didn't make it into the MPs."

"You were trying to push your pain onto me that night." The pieces were slotting into place like a jigsaw puzzle in Armin's mind. "Is that why you used to mock me for being a weak and useless soldier? Because it made you feel better about yourself?"

"It never made me feel better-" Floch protested.

A coiled snake hissed to life inside Armin, spreading venom through him. "Then why did you keep doing it? How could you put someone else through what your father was doing to you?"

Tears leaked from the man's eyes. "I - I never understood why I was doing it at the time! I just… I used to be glad there was someone physically weaker than me, someone to pull attention away from my average abilities." He dragged his sleeve across his wet face, breath hitching. "I thought the military was my chance to prove myself, to show my family I was worthwhile, that they'd all been wrong about me. But all I did was prove them right – I'm nothing but a useless, pathetic piece of shit."

An uneasy familiarity tugged at Armin. This moment echoed the night Floch had attacked him. Only this time, Floch was the one crying, while Armin held the power. But there was no satisfaction in this role reversal. Simply a numb understanding of Floch's treatment of him.

When he failed to reach his family's expectations, he forced his own insecurities onto someone else.

He made me a victim. Just like himself.

Floch's body hunched inward, like he wanted nothing more than to disappear. "You were the only soldier to talk to me that night of the graduation party," he said hoarsely. "Everyone else was thrilled I didn't make it into the Military Police like I wanted. But you tried to console me. And look at how I treated you…" A strangled sob tore from his mouth. "Armin, I'm so sorry."

Here it was – the apology Armin craved for so long. While it thawed the jagged edges of shame that had stung him for so long, it wasn't the perfect resolution he'd hope for.

And yet, Floch's actions over the last few months had already repaired some of the damage he'd caused. Armin realised he'd simply needed the man to admit his wrongdoing before fully moving on.

I don't know if I'll ever forget the pain and humiliation he caused me. But if he's willing to change, then I think I can move past it.

Armin pulled a box of tissues out of a drawer and handed it to Floch, who accepted it gratefully.

"You seem to be making an effort to be a better person lately. That counts for something."

Floch wiped his shining face. 'Thank you. You're the only person from our Cadet Corps who talks to me anymore. And you let me help out in the library, even though I didn't deserve your kindness."

"You know, there's something you can do to make it up to me," Armin said, deciding to wield the power he held over the man in this moment.

Floch blew his nose into a tissue. "What?"

"Come to the event tomorrow."

All their preparations for the event paid off in the end.

Armin was satisfied with how well the library looked – the intensive cleaning had truly freshened the place up, with the new wooden shelves proudly displayed the foreign books they'd put out yesterday.

After everyone was gathered, Erwin stood at the front of the room and thanked their guests for coming. When he finished, Lady Azumabito moved to stand beside him, smiling around at the crowd. Her dark blue kimono glinted with threads of gold.

"Thank you for that gracious welcome, Erwin. The importance of sharing knowledge has always been a foundation of Hizuru culture, and so it is an honour to be invited to this celebration. As a token of our friendship, we'd like to present you with this gift for your library. May it remind you of Paradis' place in the world as a valued and respected nation."

Two other Hizuru diplomats came forward, a young woman and an older man. Clutching what appeared to be a large scroll of parchment between them, they unfurled it by stepping away from each other. This revealed a colourful and intricately decorated map of the world.

The Survey Corps soldiers clapped in appreciation. The two diplomats rolled the map back up, and handed it to the delighted Head Librarian.

"It's absolutely breathtaking, thank you!" Emilia held the map with reverence. "We have a gift for you too, but it's a humble one in comparison to yours."

Armin took his cue to step forward with an ornamental box in front of Lady Azumabito, which he held while she opened it and examined the contents – a collection of Paradis books.

"Such a thoughtful gift!" Lady Azumabito's features crinkled with genuine gratitude.

The Hizuru diplomats clapped, and the young woman came forward again, this time to accept the box from Armin. The woman stared avidly at the contents, as if hungry to devour them. She shot Armin a smile before moving back to the group of diplomats.

Armin returned to his seat beside Eren, Mikasa, and his other friends.

Lady Azumabito spoke some more about strengthening the ties between their countries. Armin's eyes drifted to Erwin, who stood not far away. Butterflies whirled in his stomach. Dressed in a dark blue suit, the man looked ridiculously handsome, radiating confidence and charm.

He's always the image of a perfect leader in public, Armin thought with a fond pang. I'm one of the few people who gets to see him with his guard down.

Or at least, that had been the case before he broke up with Erwin and Levi last week.

He spotted Levi in the crowd with a group of other veterans. He too was formally dressed, his crisp shirt and cravat as white as fresh snow. Their eyes met for a moment, before Armin tore his own away.

The impending choice ahead of Armin made his stomach churn. It was ironic how he could really do with Eren and Mikasa's advice for this, and yet his very need to confide in them was the reason for his disagreement with the two men.

It's like I'm being forced to choose between my friendship with Eren and Mikasa, and my relationship with Levi and Erwin. How did it come to this?

Lady Azumabito finished her speech, and the crowd clapped once more. With the official part of the event over, Erwin invited everyone to head to the function room in the Recreation Building for refreshments.

There was a commotion of footsteps and chatter as people slowly trickled out of the room.

"Great, I'm starving!" Sasha said.

"Just so you know, there's no meat," Armin warned her. "The Hizuru people are mostly vegetarian, so we ordered food without it."

"What?" Sasha and Connie exclaimed in unison. Grumbling, they followed Jean and Marco towards the door.

Floch hovered a few steps away, looking uncertain whether to follow the group or not.

"Are you coming with us to get some food?" Armin asked.

"Um…" Floch glanced at Mikasa and Eren.

Armin had spoken with his best friends earlier, explaining about Floch's apology to him. They'd begrudgingly agreed to be civil to him at Armin's request.

But Mikasa's face was impassive, as if the prospect of socialising with Floch was too much for her.

Or maybe she's still pissed off at me for my 'affair' with Levi. She's been aloof with me ever since…

She flicked her gaze at Armin before addressing Floch.

"If you wait too long, Sasha and Connie will have eaten everything." Her voice was flat, an indication of the effort this invitation took her.

Taking his cue from his fiancé, Eren added, "Yeah come on!"

Floch stepped hesitantly forward, just as someone called out behind them.

"Armin, Floch. Could you come over?" Emilia's voice drifted over the noisy chatter and footsteps. Armin searched around, and spotted her beside a petite Hizuru woman – the same one who'd presented and accepted the gifts earlier.

"You two go ahead. We'll catch up with you later," Armin told his friends.

He and Floch approached the Head Librarian and the Hizuru woman. Despite her small stature, Armin guessed she might be a few years older than him. She was wearing a kimono with a pink and white floral pattern. While the other female diplomats wore their long hair tied up into neat arrangements, this woman's was short and barely brushed her shoulders. A pair of delicate spectacles perched on her nose.

"This is Tali Isayama-san," Emilia said. "She's an apprentice to Lady Azumabito, and works in their city's public library."

The woman inclined her head politely. "Please, just call me Tali."

Armin bowed his head in return. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Tali. My name's Armin, and this is Floch. We both work in the library here."

"I need to talk to Lady Azumabito," Emilia said. "Will you gentlemen escort Tali to the function room? And maybe introduce her to your friends."

"Of course."

As Emilia left, Armin offered the young woman his arm. But she didn't notice. Her eyes were gazing longingly at the bookshelves behind them.

"Would you like a tour of the library?" Armin asked, feeling an irresistible connection to this woman despite all their differences.

Tali's dark eyes shone. "Oh yes please! But are you sure I'm not putting you to any trouble?"

He chuckled. "You came all this way to a library event. It would be a shame for you not to get a proper look around."

For the next fifteen minutes, Armin and Floch showed their guest around the library, both the public section, and the backrooms where they repaired damaged books and stored extra materials. Armin and Tali dominated most of the discussion, with Floch seemingly a little awed by this vibrant, intelligent woman.

Armin led her into an inconspicuous empty room. "This was where we used to store the books we received from foreign nations. The room was almost full of them! But now they're all out on display on the new shelving." He smiled. "Most of them were generously gifted from Hizuru."

"I'm so glad they were appreciated! Lady Azumabito put me in charge of the selection of books that we sent to Paradis' establishments." Tali smiled brightly at both of them. "I'm looking forward to reading more books from your country, I already bought some during my stay in Mitras. Are you both avid readers too?" Her attention fixed on Floch, as if to draw him into the conversation.

"I – y-yes," Floch stammered. "But I'm sorry to say I haven't read many Hizuru books. Although Armin lent me a book on Hizuru poetry a few months ago that I greatly enjoyed."

Armin smirked, before hiding it by covering his mouth for a fake cough. He distinctly recalled Floch complaining to him about that book being boring.

Tali's hands fluttered, sending her wide sleeves flapping like wings. "It's such a joy to find others who value these things! I can recommend more poetry books if you like?"

"Have you read the Shadow and Storm books?" Floch blurted the question out like an excitable five-year-old begging for sweets.

Tali drew in a sharp breath. "Yes! Have you finished the whole trilogy? Can you believe that ending?"

This led to the trio gushing over the epic fantasy series, sharing their delight at the plot's many twists and turns.

It's no wonder Emilia introduced us to her – we're all book-crazy! Many other people would be bored to death by this conversation.

Floch's bright-eyed enthusiasm was matched by Tali's animated ramblings and wild hand gestures. It was like she was bursting with energy and couldn't contain it. Armin noticed how her eyes lingered on Floch, possibly because red hair was rare in countries outside of Paradis.

Or possibly for another reason entirely…

Sensing the current of chemistry, Armin pulled back from the conversation to allow them some space. Was he forever doomed to be the spare third person in every trio – first with Eren and Mikasa, then Levi and Erwin, and now Floch and Tali?

After the library tour, they headed to the Recreation Building, and into the large function room where everyone else was gathered. The Hizuru delegates were scattered around the room, their bright clothes standing out like tropical birds amongst the darker colours of the soldiers.

"Would you like to eat with us and our friends?" Armin asked their guest.

Tali agreed, and the trio picked out food from the self-service buffet (thankfully Connie and Sasha hadn't eaten everything). Despite the lack of meat, there was plenty to choose from, including some traditional Hizuru dishes – colourful salads, flavoured rice, and spiced vegetable mixes.

Armin led the other two over to a table where his friends sat. Although Eren and Mikasa were notably absent.

He opened his mouth to introduce Tali, but Floch got there first.

"Everyone, this is Tali. She's Lady Azumabito's apprentice."

"It's an honour to meet you all." She inclined her head, eyes flickering over the group.

"Come sit next to me!" Sasha patted the empty chair beside her, perhaps sensing the woman's unease in the presence of so many male soldiers.

Tali spent the next few minutes answering questions about her trip to Paradis so far, and sharing a little about her life in Hizuru. It turned out that Lady Azumabito had adopted Tali from an orphanage, and given her a full education. This was something the woman had done for many other children too. Since Tali had shown a passion for learning and gaining knowledge, Lady Azumabito arranged for her to get a position at their city's public library.

Armin's envy rose to hear of the vast collection of books that Tali managed, some dating back over 1000 years. She described the library as a sprawling labyrinth of interconnected rooms shaped in a rectangle, with an outdoor courtyard garden in the centre of it all.

He longed to visit Hizuru to behold sights such as these. But he was bound by his duty to the military. Unless his role demanded it, he might never have the freedom to travel abroad.

"Why don't you eat meat?" Sasha blurted out.

As Tali launched into an explanation of her culture's respect for animals, Armin leaned over to Jean.

"Where's Eren & Mikasa?" he asked.

Jean gestured vaguely towards the far side of the crowded room. "They were talking to Lady Azumabito over there earlier."

Tali overheard the exchange and looked curiously at Armin.

"Do you know Lady Mikasa?"

"Yeah, she's one of my best friends," he said.

"Really? Could you introduce me?!"

"Sure. You stay here and I'll go find her."

Armin searched the room for Eren and Mikasa, squeezing between clusters of chattering soldiers and diplomats. His heart did a flip at the sight of Erwin and Levi sitting together at a table, along with some other veterans and a few Hizuru diplomats. He hurried on before either of his ex-partners could meet his eye.

But he'd only gone a few steps before spotting the back of Eren and Mikasa's tall forms, with Lady Azumabito in front of them. She glanced past the couple and spotted him.

"Armin! It's lovely to meet you again."

He hadn't planned on interrupting the conversation, but now he had no choice. Pinning a smile on his face, he walked over.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Lady Azumabito."

She waved a hand dismissively at the title. "Call me Kiyomi, my dear." She beamed at Eren and Mikasa. "I'm sorry to leave, but I must speak with Erwin now. I'll let you two share the good news with your friend."

Only after she left, did Armin register the peculiar expressions on Eren and Mikasa's faces. They almost seemed in a daze.

"What's she talking about, what have you got to tell me?" he asked.

Gripping Armin's arm, Eren guided him to the nearby corner of the room where it was slightly quieter. Mikasa followed.

"Kiyomi – well, she just offered us an early wedding present."

"That's wonderful! I knew she'd be happy about your engagement. So what's the present?"

Armin swivelled his gaze between his two friends, waiting for one of them to answer.

"She offered us a trip to Hizuru." Mikasa's blank expression didn't betray any emotion. "Where she wants to hold a celebration, and introduce us to other members of my clan."

"And that's not even the best part – she said she'll arrange for us to visit other countries too!" Eren's voice shook with barely controlled excitement.

Visiting the outside world… Our dream since we were all children.

And now his best friends had the opportunity to turn it into a reality.

Without him.

Mikasa watched Armin intently, as if trying to read his mind. Was she concerned about hurting his feelings by accepting this generous gift?

There's no way I'll let them pass up a chance like this! I won't be the one to hold them back from living their lives.

He reached out to take both of their hands. Eren offered his up without complaint, while Mikasa hesitated before allowing him to wrap her cool fingers in his.

"Wow, this is incredible! I'm going to miss you, but you'll have so much to tell me when you get back."

Eren's brimming grin faltered. "Wait… Armin, I think you misunderstand. You're coming too."

"What?"

"Kiyomi knows how close we are to you, so she offered us the choice of bringing you along too." Eren threw his arms around his best friend, squeezing him tight. "Can you believe it? We're finally going to see the outside world together!"

The noisy room faded into the background as Armin grappled with this revelation.

"Don't be crazy, this is your wedding gift! You can't drag me along too."

Eren pulled back from the hug, ruffling his friend's hair. "Mikasa and I have already agreed on it."

Armin cast his gaze over to Mikasa. He thought of her frosty attitude towards him ever since she discovered that he was involved with Levi.

Is she really ok with this, or does she feel pressured into it?

"There's no hard feelings if I don't go," he told her earnestly.

"Armin." Mikasa fixed him with a deadly stare. "Stop being honourable. I will literally throw you over my shoulder and bring you along if I have too."

Her face broke into a smile, moisture glittering in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Eren rejoined the hug, so that Armin was encased in both his friends' warm embrace.

"It wouldn't the same without you! Besides, Mika and I love each other, but we'll go mad if we've only got each other for company."

Armin struggled to process the enormity of the situation. With a jolt, he realised he'd be able to visit Tali's library after all. As well as many other places he'd read about in books – prosperous cities and breathtaking landscapes…

But something niggled at his mind, like a stubborn thorn stuck in his skin.

"How long will the trip take?" he asked.

Eren glanced at Mikasa. "Kiyomi said maybe five or six months."

Five or six months?!

"I'm not sure we'll get permission for that long," Armin warned them.

"We told her that already," Mikasa said. "But given my special ties with Hizuru and the Azumabito clan, she's certain we can make it work. It could be treated as a diplomatic visit, to show Paradis' ties with other nations. She's speaking with Erwin now to grant the three of us special leave from our military service."

It was the opportunity of a life time. Armin's childhood dream, no less. There was no possible way he could turn this down.

And yet, a weight plummeted down into his stomach at what he would be leaving behind. He turned back towards the room, his eyes falling on Erwin through the crowd. Both he and Levi were listening to Lady Azumabito with sober expressions.

As the woman's hand gestured towards them, the two men followed the direction and met Armin's gaze.

His prickling of unease turned into a knife, carving out a part of his insides. What if following this dream lead to the end of his relationship with Levi and Erwin? How could their damaged triad survive at this tenuous stage, if he left for months on end?

Or perhaps I should take this as a sign – that it's time to move on with my life.

Without them.

Notes:

Sorry (not sorry) for the dramatic cliffhanger XD

So what did you think – of Armin's resolution with Floch, the library event finally happening, and Armin's chance to see the outside world with Eren and Mikasa? What do you think this means for his relationship with Levi and Erwin?

Thank you so much to anyone still reading and enjoying this story. I'd love to hear your thoughts!