The next day, with the castle in uproar over the missing Defence professor, Draco Malfoy looked at the note that had been slipped into his bag with something close to astonishment.

"Alright there mate?" Theo murmured, his eyes darting to ensure no one was listening.

"Pany's girlfriend is insane," he hissed.

Theo's eyebrows shot up but he took the parchment that was handed to him. Draco watched with fascination as they went higher as he read their summons. "What do you think she wants?"

"I don't know!"

"Well…safety in numbers." Thow muttered, "Let's warn the rest. If nothing else I imagine Pans wouldn't be happy if they murdered us all and Granger at least, has a vested interest in keeping the witch happy "

The Slytherins, minus Pansy as requested, sidled into the Room of Requirement cautiously, their eyes blowing wide at the sight that greeted them. "Is this an ambush?" Theo asked, his attempt at a joke falling flat as his eyes darted nervously around the room,

"Don't be absurd, Nott! Sit down," Hermione sighed impatiently.

"Why are we here risking disownment, torture or death at the hands of our families?" Daphne asked as she sat down primly on an eye-wateringly orange sofa. None of them needed to be told that the Weasley twins were responsible for the room's decor as the orange clashed with fluorescent pink, purple and blinding yellow.

"Because we had an idea," Hermione smirked, placing Umbridge's house on the table in front of her. The witch was sulking today, which was rather amusing. She'd spent half an hour in the morning trying to lift things to throw. Watching them bounce back into place, and the resulting tantrum had been immensely pleasing to watch. She really was the most entertaining pet. "I gather I have you to thank for helping Pansy procure my present?" she glanced up looking around the assembled Slytherins with a smile.

Blaise immediately looked terrified. "We don't want to join her Granger!" he blurted, stumbling to his feet, his wand out in front of him despite his shaking hand.

Hermione frowned, looking at him in shock. "What? Why would I do that? Pansy's rather fond of you all for reasons I don't yet understand but I've decided to trust her judgement."

"You're not going to threaten to put us in a jar..or a box or any other sort of unbreakable house that means we can't escape?" he checked.

"Not today," Hermione allowed as she watched him slump into the nearest seat.

"Can we raise that to a not ever?" Theo hedged.

She sighed dramatically, as Fred and George choked on a laugh. "If we must," she agreed eventually, before she paused, her head tilting as she eyed a nervous Theo intently. He fought the urge to squirm, letting out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding when she looked away, continuing thoughtfully. "Of course, that's on the condition that you don't do something to deserve it."

"Such as?" Draco asked lightly, almost dreading her answer.

"I mean torture and murder should probably be considered the line."

"Right I promise not to torture and murder," Blaise agreed quickly.

"Wonderful. Glad we got that covered." Hermione replied with exaggerated enthusiasm as she eyed him slightly worriedly, apparently not sure he was entirely well. "Now. Pansy unfortunately appears to have started a…budding trend. Or a trend some people would like to see started."

The Slytherin's stared back at her in confusion, making her huff and roll her eyes. "We want more. We're willing to help procure and make them their little houses, of course, and should you wish your own we'd obviously help with that too."

"You want to make more?" Blaise's voice squeaked.

"Anyone?" Millicent demanded over the top of him, "You'd help us with anyone?"

"I mean within reason," Hermione agreed.

Millie looked thoughtful. "Interesting." There were nods around the room.

"NO! Blaise shouted, "Not interesting! Illegal. And terrifying!"

"I'll put you down as a maybe then," Luna smiled serenely.

Blaise whined, not able to formulate a response as Daphne patted his shoulder placatingly. "What's your plan then Granger?" Draco demanded, leaning forward. This meeting was turning out to be far more interesting than he'd anticipated.

"Well I imagine we'll need someone with some intel to help us get in and out…or bring us people. We'll need to work together on boxes and I had wondered….will she age normally?"

"Umbridge?" he checked

"Yes."

"Well I imagine so."

Hermione hummed, "I see. Sad really, for the family pet to die."

The Slytherins blinked back at her for several beats. Hearing her describe Umbridge as a pet was slightly jarring, even if a small vicious part within all of them wanted to laugh. Technically she was sort of. "I ah…maybe?" he hedged. He wasn't entirely sure it would be sad if she happened to die.

"I had wondered if we could put them in a…stasis of sorts. An everlasting pet. Of course, they'd die if they left the box." She spoke pointedly down at Umbridge who mustered a half-hearted glare.

"You're insane," Blaise breathed, "Absolutely fucking insane."

"I love it!" Theo crowed. "It'll be the gift that keeps on giving!"

"Wonderful." Hermione beamed, ignoring Blaise who was now hyperventilating. "Then shall we make a list? After that, I think I'll go and see Snape."

It was a sign of how strange the day had already been that no one argued.