Secrets Kept
I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for over a year now. It was one of the first that I drafted when I started feeling the inspiration to finish this story, and it ended up shaping a bunch of the rest of the plot. I'm really happy to finally be posting this chapter. There's a scene in here that really kicked my ass, even though it had been loosely drafted for that whole time. There's some parts of this chapter that I wish were a little better, but I'm done looking at it! And it's almost 14k words! The longest chapter yet, though I'm sure 35 and 36 will both end up even longer (those are the next two chapters I'm looking forward to writing).
Also… No more shark mentions after this because that storyline is wrapped now! If I could do this story again, it would be all pokemon and not real animals, but here we are.
That said, this is the chapter that makes the whole story deviate from the original plot! After this chapter, this is officially no longer a prequel to Secrets Told! You'll see why ; ) There's also a spot that gets a little heavy, but it's short and has a happy ending.
Pokemaster101 - Umbreon would probably headbutt him if he tried coming out to her, lol. She's known longer than he has! We'll see Gary get to the point where he can be casual about it, just not for a little while longer ; ) Thanks as always!
Chapter Thirty-One
Life in Pallet always seemed to slow to a crawl in winter, but especially around the holidays. There was less to do in the lab with most pokemon spending their nights in their pokeballs to keep warm. Many of the pokemon slowed down during the winter and some even hibernated, cutting down the amount of time spent caring for them a considerable amount. Even with Tracey being home at Sunburst for the holidays, and the time he spent working on data analysis for Birch and Ivy, Gary found himself with a surprising amount of free time. He spent some of it drawing, reading, or hanging out with friends, but still found himself with time to spare - he hadn't realized just how much time he and Tracey had been spending together until Tracey wasn't there.
One evening Gary found himself staring up at the ceiling as he waited on Tracey's reply to his most recent text. His desk lamp was the only light in the room and, with the dark walls and ceiling, it felt almost cave-like. He had liked that cozy darkness when his grandfather first let him paint the walls, but something was missing these days. He had regretted painting over the stars on the ceiling after doing it, though he hadn't quite realized just how much their absence altered the feeling of the room. He used to look up when the light was low and feel as though he were outside, but now he felt claustrophobic and as though he had erased part of himself when painting over them.
The need to replace them came on suddenly and while he knew that was a task that would have to wait until the next afternoon, he also knew that he still had the plans for them drawn out somewhere. After digging through his bookshelf and desk to no avail, he turned to his closet and quickly realized that this would be a much larger task than he had thought. Between the training and field gear, clothes that didn't fit, old video game systems, and boxes of childhood toys, the closet was in desperate need of cleaning and organizing. Gary gazed around with a frustrated sigh. A lot of the stuff he had was useful - his training and field gear especially - but it looked as though a younger version of himself still lived in this room.
How could he possibly become comfortable enough with himself to come out in a room that reflected some odd combination between an angsty teenager, a preteen pokemon trainer, and a pokemon-obsessed child?
It was definitely time for a change.
Maybe it had something to do with the number of little breakthroughs he'd had in Hoenn. Maybe it had something to do with feeling like himself for the first time in what felt like forever. Either way, he worked well into the night to clean and go through every dust-covered thing in the closet. He awoke the next morning groggy and facing the worst headache he'd had in months. Fortunately his grandfather took pity on him and sent him back to bed with some sinus medication and a cup of tea. A long nap later and he was back to work, determined to make the room feel more like his, even if he ended up feeling worse for it the next morning.
With Wyatt and Darren helping out in the lab and Tracey being away, Gary was able to focus on the work without distraction - save for the times that May appeared in the doorway with a fresh cup of tea and more medication. She spent some time helping at every appearance, leaving with a kiss on the forehead and a reminder not to overdo it each time. Thanks to her help, the closet was finished and he was able to move on to the original task. He had found the original plans for the stars the night before and wasted no time in fetching a step ladder to start sketching out the stars with some chalk he had found in a box of old art supplies (now neatly organized, thanks to May).
Gary had only just started repainting the stars and constellations when a voice came from the open door.
"Pretty sure that's not what your grandfather meant when he said to rest."
Gary rolled his eyes. "Pretty sure he knew I wouldn't stay in bed all day," he retorted. He finished the particular set of stars he had been painting and climbed off the ladder, only to move it a few feet over and start painting another set.
Wyatt snorted from his position in the doorway "Y'know, you could've saved yourself the trouble if you hadn't painted over them."
Gary knew that was true but… "I wasn't exactly thinking straight at the time."
"Obviously. Why'd you do it?"
"Dunno..." Though that wasn't entirely true and Gary knew it; but he couldn't exactly tell his friend that his behavior had pushed him over the edge that day and that he'd been suddenly unable to think about the past without feeling the overwhelming need for it to just not exist in that moment. "I was pissed off and sick of everyone's drama, I guess," he settled on.
"Details," Wyatt prompted, gesturing for him to elaborate.
Gary hesitated briefly. It felt a little selfish to focus on his problems while acting as though his friend hadn't also been struggling with some heavy personal issues. "Every time I turned around there was more shit and it was like no one cared that I was dealing with my own issues… It was like no one noticed."
"Oh, we noticed," Wyatt assured him, grinning. "You were a dick, remember?"
Gary laughed, once more stepping off the ladder and moving it to a new spot. "You weren't much better you know."
"Yeah…" Wyatt's voice trailed off as he peered around the room. "Darren was really worried when he saw it," he said after a minute.
Gary sighed, feeling a flash of guilt. He had seen his friend's worry and had irritably brushed it off and ignored it at the time. "I know. It's just, that's not as helpful after the fact, you know?"
Wyatt took on a surprisingly somber expression as he replied. "Yeah, I get that… Believe me, I get that."
Gary frowned as he peered quizzically at his friend. "What's up?"
"Nah, I'll tell you another time." Wyatt shrugged his shoulders and flashed him a grin that only slightly soothed Gary's concern. "What do you need help with?"
Gary knew better than to push for a more specific answer. He glanced around the room, his eyes quickly settling on the game systems on the floor next to his desk. "I still need to figure out the video games."
Wyatt jumped at the task and it was only when he knelt down to pick up one of the game consoles that Gary noticed something.
"No crutches?"
"They're in the hallway. Physical therapist says I need to practice walking without them more if I want to get back on a board soon." He looked up at Gary, his grin taking on a mischievous edge. "Speaking of - what was the deal with the water, man? Took you long enough to get in."
Gary had a feeling he should have seen that question coming, but that didn't stop him from staring at his friend for a moment. "How high are you?" he asked incredulously. Wyatt couldn't possibly be serious right now. He knew why Gary had been nervous, he had to. He wasn't that stupid, despite evidence to the contrary.
"I'm not," Wyatt huffed, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, you're the badass of the group. You've been through worse. What gives?"
"Do you have any idea how close you came to dying?" Gary asked pointedly.
"Better than you do."
"Really? Because you were unconscious for a lot of it."
"I was in and out," Wyatt replied flippantly, waving it off. "And I read the surgery notes."
Gary shook his head. "So you know you almost bled out on the beach and you're still wondering why I had a hard time jumping in the water with sharks? And you're not stoned?"
"Is it that hard to believe?"
"Yes."
Wyatt laughed openly at the blunt reply. "C'mon, you deal with dangerous pokemon all the time!"
Gary rolled his eyes and shook his head again. It wasn't worth arguing over and he had a feeling Wyatt was just trying to annoy him at this point.
"Anyway," Wyatt went on after Gary's lack of reply. "Dad's getting me a new board for Christmas and I know you're getting one for that marsh thing." His gaze dropped away, focusing far more intently on separating some tangled controller cables than was entirely necessary. "I was kinda hoping you'd go with me the first time I bring it out."
For a moment Gary didn't have a response but he found his voice soon enough. "Me? Not Chase?" Chase was a much more avid surfer than Gary, and he and Wyatt went surfing together most days before the attack happened.
Wyatt's gaze flicked back up to Gary and he pulled a face. "I mentioned you diving with a shark the other day and he just about started hyperventilating. I need to not be worried about the person with me having a panic attack."
Though a little surprised by this detail, Gary didn't need to think to know the answer. "I'll go with you," he agreed.
It wasn't a difficult promise to make. The thought of surfing again still brought up a tiny bit of nerves, but there was also a sort of excitement that he hadn't felt in some time. It wasn't just the thought of a new board, but also the realization of just what his friend was asking of him. Wyatt was trusting him to do exactly what he had trusted Ivy and Birch with down in Hoenn. This wasn't just some small thing, it was actually kind of a big deal.
It was just another thing that made him look all the more forward to the coming year.
First they needed to finish this. Fortunately Darren wandered in a few minutes later and wasted little time in jumping in to help out. While he and Wyatt found a good spot for the video game systems and went about setting them up, Gary wrapped up the painting. He had barely stepped off of the ladder when he heard Darren's voice speak up from across the room.
"Woah! You've been drawing again? These look awesome!" He was holding the sketchbook Gary had picked up in Hoenn, which was open to a page of sharpedo practice drawings.
"Why do you think he hangs out with Tracey so much?" Wyatt asked before Gary could say anything.
"There's plenty of reasons he hangs out with Tracey," Darren replied offhandedly.
Overcome with the sudden need to do something else, Gary set the paint supplies on his desk and turned to the bookshelf and pulled out a random book. He paused, feeling one of his friends' gazes on him from across the room - probably Darren, considering Wyatt was too busy muttering something about tangled wires to comment. Determined not to look over and give them any sort of indication that something was going on with Tracey, he pulled another few books off the bookshelf. Reorganizing it hadn't been in the plans for today, but it was now.
Gary heard the sound of turning pages across the room and breathed a small sigh of relief. It wasn't that he was necessarily worried about Darren finding out, he just wasn't quite ready to go there yet. Even if he wanted to tell them why he spent so much time with Tracey, he could already tell that it wouldn't happen. His throat had tightened the way it always did and he knew that any words that came to mind would die on his tongue.
It didn't bother him as much as it had in the past and, with a few deep breaths, the tightness in his throat and the worry in the back of his mind began to dissipate. There was still some frustration but Gary focused on reorganizing the bookshelf while Darren chattered about the drawings and the pokemon in them. Wyatt chimed in enough to make up for Gary's lack of meaningful reply, but Gary knew that it wasn't going unnoticed. Fortunately they were around him in the lab enough to know how he could be when he was focused on something - he just hoped that's how they were interpreting his quietness.
After some time the frustration passed and, bored with the bookshelf, Gary turned to join his friends. Before he could make it across the room, May appeared in the doorway with a small bin in her arms.
"I found some things you might find a use for," she said, walking in and setting it on the bed. "And while you're looking at that, Wyatt's coming with me to pick up some food."
Curious, Gary peeked in to find an assortment of string lights, glow in the dark stars, a set of pokemon shaped clips she once used to hang pictures on her wall, and few other odds and ends. In the corner of the bin was a bookend cut from a geode that he had always liked as a child and had sat atop May's dresser for the last several years. She had always passed along little things to him - usually pokemon-themed things that she had outgrown - but this felt special.
He shot her a grateful smile, which she returned with a playful hair ruffle before she turned to Wyatt. "C'mon, you know you're supposed to walk every hour."
Wyatt grumbled under his breath but got up to join May regardless. Next to Gary, Darren nudged his shoulder with a smile, saying nothing. Gary shot him a glare, though there was no heat behind it - but Darren only laughed and did it again.
"What?"
Darren shook his head, entirely nonplussed. "Nothing," he replied brightly. His smile was a little more knowing than Gary was entirely comfortable with, but he dug into the bin without that smile wavering. "These would look cool on the ceiling," he mused, pulling out one of the several strings of small fairy lights, "like actual stars when it's dark."
It sounded cool, but Gary knew that wouldn't be the easiest thing to do. "Gonna help me do it?"
"As long as I get to pick the next album we listen to," he agreed easily.
Whatever that knowing smile meant, whatever Darren was onto, clearly it didn't make any difference to him. He was the same friend he'd always been, if that easy agreement was anything to go by.
Gary felt something somewhere click into place. Something that Tracey had told him that night they had kissed in the kitchen - Darren wasn't going anywhere.. Maybe he hadn't been able to say the words today, but whenever the words finally came… Gary was certain he could tell him and that it would be perfectly fine.
"Thanks, Dare," he said quietly.
Darren glanced up, meeting Gary's eyes with the briefest bit of surprise before smiling and nodding. He gave Gary's shoulder another playful nudge. "C'mon, let's get this done before they get back."
… … …
Pallet was colder than Tracey expected upon his return, but he wasn't especially surprised by this fact. Winter could be unpredictable, often dreary and cold, but sometimes mild and sunny or frigid and blustery. It wasn't frigid this evening, but it was certainly blustery, which made him look all the more forward to getting back to the house and warming up by the fireplace before he and Gary ended up retreating to one of their bedrooms.
Except Gary wasn't there when the ferry pulled up to the dock: instead, May was waiting at the dock, bundled up in her thick jacket and boots.
Disappointing - and a little worrying, considering how quiet his boyfriend had been for the last few hours - but Tracey gave her a warm smile and a big hug regardless. She was all but a third sister to him and he was happy to see her. He was just looking more forward to seeing her brother than her.
May returned the hug with her usual cheerful greeting, giving him an extra squeeze for good measure. "The pond pump broke again," she explained, not bothering to wait for him to ask. "Grandpa wouldn't let him leave without warming up properly."
Tracey laughed nervously. "Oh no… How bad was it?"
"Oh, it needs to be replaced," she said breezily, leading him to her car, "but I think he's trying to put that off until -"
"Well, that I know… I meant Gary."
May laughed a bit as she opened the trunk of her car, which was, thankfully, parked as close to the dock as she could get. "He'll be fine." She paused briefly, a thoughtful look crossing her face. "He pushed the limits responsibly," she determined. "His pokemon helped and he took breaks. Nothing some time by the fire can't fix."
Tracey gave a small sigh of relief as she started the car and pulled out of the parking spot. It wasn't just that he was out of the cold - he was heading to his second home and, even better, it seemed unlikely that Gary had given himself pneumonia for the new year.
The drive back to the house was pleasant, even without Gary's company and with a detour downtown to pick up some take-out for dinner. As soon as they were back at the house, May took the bags of food and gave Tracey a knowing smile.
"Go bring your bag upstairs, Gary's in the living room… At least, that's where he's supposed to be."
Chuckling a bit at the way May rolled her eyes, Tracey quickly dropped his belongings off in his room and released Marill and Venonat from their pokeballs before hurrying back downstairs. He found Gary sitting on the floor in the living room, wrapped up in a warm blanket and leaning back against Arcanine with a book near the fireplace. Tracey wanted nothing more than to sit next to him, with the two of them cuddled together beneath the blanket until Gary inevitably fell asleep on him - but they couldn't do that in the living room. He would just have to settle for sitting in the armchair nearest to Gary and hope that his smile showed his boyfriend just how happy he was to see him again. Gary returned it with a grin, his face lighting up at the sight of him. He restrained himself from jumping up to greet him, though Tracey could see how much he wanted to do just that.
"Hey, Trace!" He chirped, immediately putting down his book.
It was a far more cheerful greeting than Tracey was used to from him and he had to grin. "Hi, Gary," he replied, thrilled to see him in such a good mood.
His sketchbook was on the coffee table - the nice, new one - Tracey noted. Gary's gaze followed Tracey's and he smiled. "Did anyone give you a Yule gift?" he asked curiously.
Tracey couldn't help but grin. "Yeah, actually! Tara's teaching me how to surf." He wasn't exactly surprised by Gary remembering the details and asking, but knowing that his family's traditions were being viewed with genuine curiosity rather than indifference or any sort of negativity meant the world to him
"Really?"
"Yeah," Tracey laughed, amused by Gary's surprise. "She says we need more in common than being obsessed with pokemon."
"And drawing," Gary was quick to add.
"And drawing," Tracey agreed. "You have pictures to show me, don't you?"
"More than that - wait 'til you see my room."
Tracey started to ask about that but was interrupted by May calling them from the kitchen. Gary rolled his eyes at the interruption but Tracey laughed it off as he stood and offered his hand to his boyfriend. As he helped Gary to his feet, he noticed his hands were still cold from being out in the cold so much this afternoon. Tracey glanced towards the doorway to check that they were alone before bringing Gary's hands up to his face, warming them gently with his breath and rubbing them between his own hands.
"I'm fine, Trace," Gary assured him. His cheeks were far more pink than they had been just a moment ago.
Tracey smiled at the sight of that blush and pressed a light kiss to Gary's knuckles. "I never said you weren't," he replied with a smile. He released Gary's hands and nodded towards the kitchen, gently steering him in that direction with a hand on his lower back.
Dinner was a quiet affair. Conversation flowed easily with May and the professor asking about Tracey's time home and Tracey happily sharing the details. His time at Sunburst had been filled with games and food and time by the fire pit outside with his family. It was always like that, but any holiday meant even more of those things than usual. It sounded as though it had been a quiet holiday in Pallet - save for the amusing story of Arcanine accidentally setting a low branch of the Christmas tree on fire with a sneeze. Fortunately Gary had been next to the tree when it happened and was able to put out the ember before anything else happened. Tracey had already heard the story from Gary but May's giggle-filled retelling of it was the undoubtable highlight of dinner.
Seeing May and Gary laughing over the retelling of the story brought a smile to Tracey's face and filled him with warmth. It was so nice to see them laughing together, and Gary being in such a good mood was wonderfully refreshing.
By the time dinner was over, Tracey's cheeks hurt from smiling and he couldn't wait to have some alone time with his boyfriend. He was sorely tempted to pepper Gary's face in little kisses just to pull more laughter from him and to see more of that smile.
But when Gary led him upstairs to his room, Tracey found himself stopping quite suddenly in the doorway. "Holy shit," he blurted, surprised by just how different the room looked.
Gary laughed at the surprised curse and sat on the edge of his bed, smiling expectantly at Tracey, who quickly joined him. "It's a big change, huh?"
"You never mentioned it," Tracey pointed out, though he had a feeling he would have still been surprised even if Gary had said something. "You did this all yourself?"
It wasn't just that the stars were repainted: the bookshelf was in a different spot and had been reorganized, now with shells and rocks and fossils lining the shelves in front of the books; there were string lights along the top of the walls, comfortably illuminating the room; drawings were hung on the walls with pokemon-shaped clips that Tracey could have sworn came from May's bedroom. The bed and the dresser were the same, but the desk had been replaced with what looked to be May's old one, which was larger and held Gary's computer, field notebooks, and drawing supplies without being overcrowded. It looked like a different room entirely and it felt so much more like Gary's space than it had before.
"May helped with the closet - not like that," he added hastily when Tracey raised his eyebrows. They shared a small laugh before Gary went on. "Wyatt and Darren helped a lot."
He spent the next several minutes explaining everything: the impulse he'd felt to change the room and how he'd messed up his sinuses cleaning the closet until three in the morning, the conversation he'd had with Wyatt about surfing when it warmed up, the way Darren had come up with idea for the string lights, how the professor had paid for pizza and junk food so that he could spend time with his friends. Apparently Adrian had joined them and helped move the bookshelf and desk, but, despite all the work they did, they still spent the night watching horror movies, listening to music, and playing video games. There was no mention of alcohol or fighting or anything even remotely negative - just a group of friends spending time together.
Tracey felt himself smiling the whole way through, relieved and pleased to hear that, just like his last visit home, Gary'd had a good time with his friends. Something about the way Gary spoke about the time spent with his friends was different, Tracey noticed. He was more at ease, less tense and irritable, and just seemed happier. It could have just been him feeling more like himself, but this was even more relaxed than he had been before starting to deal with being gay.
Tracey couldn't help but wonder… "Did you tell them?" he asked before he could help it.
Gary shook his head. "Not yet. I'm going to soon, though."
That was a surprise. "Yeah?" Tracey asked. Gary nodded, still very much at ease, though Tracey could see the tiniest bit of anxiety in the way he fidgeted slightly. "Any specific plans, or…?"
"Whenever a chance comes up and the words actually come out," Gary replied with a shrug. "But until then, I'm not as worried about them finding out." He fidgeted a bit more, his gaze dropping away. "Is that okay?"
That was more than okay with Tracey, but Tracey wasn't the one in the closet. "Gary, you're the one coming out," he reminded him gently. "What's more important is you being comfortable enough around your friends to actually do that."
Gary took a breath. "About that…"
He was nervous about something - Tracey didn't need to rely on his pokemon watching skills to tell that. "What is it?" he asked, resting a hand on Gary's back. Whatever it was, it had crept up out of nowhere.
Gary let out his breath in a sigh and turned to face Tracey properly. "There's something Professor Ivy said I should do."
He was hesitating again. "And what's that?" Tracey prompted after a moment.
Gary stayed quiet another minute, eyes darting over the folds of the extra blankets piled upon his bed. "She said I should practice telling you that…" He paused again and took a deep breath, finally looking up to meet Tracey's eyes as he said, "I'm gay."
A smile spread across Tracey's face as pride filled him. Gary had struggled to say even that little bit for so long, and now he could. It seemed so small, but Tracey knew better: this was a step forward, and a big one at that.
He squeezed Gary's hand and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "That's great," he said, leaning in further to whisper in Gary's ear, "because I really like you."
Gary gave a dramatic gasp, pulling away from Tracey to stare at him with wide eyes. "Really?"
Tracey nodded, biting his lip to keep from laughing. "Really."
"That's really gay."
Tracey laughed, unable to hold it in anymore and threaded his fingers through Gary's hair, pulling him in for a quick peck. "Dork," he said affectionately. He absolutely adored this silly side of his boyfriend and couldn't help but pepper his cheeks with several more kisses for good measure. "I'm happy for you," he said, pulling back from a final soft kiss on the lips.
He saw a flash of emotion in Gary's eyes and rested his forehead against his boyfriend's, closing his eyes to give him a moment of privacy. To his surprise, Gary gave a small, watery laugh that bordered on a sob.
"I didn't know it would feel that good saying it," he admitted quietly. Tracey's arms were around him in an instant, holding him close and Gary melted into the embrace, winding his arms around Tracey in return and burying his face against his shoulder. "Thank you," he breathed after a moment.
Tracey pulled away just enough to press a kiss to his temple before pulling him close again. "Any time," he murmured, meaning it with every bit of his being.
If there was anything he would always be happy to help with, it was helping his boyfriend - his best friend- be more comfortable in his own skin. As much as he looked forward to a time when it wouldn't be so necessary, helping Gary always seemed to bring them closer. It strengthened their bond every time while also putting Gary in a better headspace where he felt comfortable being himself and taking risks, and it warmed Tracey's heart to see him grow. Knowing that Gary was working on this and that he was listening to advice from Professor Ivy brought even more warmth and, more importantly, a sense that they were doing the right thing being together - even with it being a secret - and that everything would work out fine in the end.
… … …
Time seemed to move faster as the winter wore on. Everything in the lab had a steady rhythm with Gary and Tracey sharing chores and Wyatt continuing to help out. The extra winter downtime was often filled with Gary and Tracey drawing together or Gary helping Wyatt study for his classes. Then February hit and, before Gary knew it, he was back at the harbor, this time getting picked up by Jared in the little Sayda Lab boat. The few weeks there sped by, which was almost disappointing given how much he enjoyed seeing Aerodactyl and working with the new omanyte and kabuto that now called the island home. It was quiet with Crystal training in Hoenn but working in a lab other than his grandfather's was refreshing. Even so, it was over before he knew it, and he was headed off to Johto only a few weeks after that.
Gary enjoyed it thoroughly. Getting to travel again, even in this limited way, was a welcome change, and being able to continue working with rare or dangerous pokemon was nothing short of exhilarating. Not only that, but he and Tracey were closer than ever, even when they were apart. They were constantly talking, always sharing drawings and photos, and whenever Gary returned from a trip, they would spend time catching up and going through sketchbooks to share what hadn't been texted. They had fallen into a routine of drawing together most nights, and there were still stolen moments around the reserve in between chores and caring for the pokemon.
Come late March, Gary still hadn't told anyone else about their relationship but he was still growing more happy and open with each passing week, even if it was still a secret. He was getting there. He'd almost told Darren a few times but they had been interrupted every time… And sometimes Darren gave him one of those knowing smiles that made him feel like his friend already knew. How exactly, Gary had no idea, but if his friend somehow knew and was acting the same, then he supposed he really didn't have anything to worry about.
Late March brought the start of spring and with it came a sort of warmth that had nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with the way the relationship had fallen into place. It had grown so organically that everything felt perfectly natural.
Gary had just returned from his research trip in Johto the afternoon before, and had initially woken up to the alarm on Tracey's phone and the feeling of Tracey moving out from beneath him. Apparently he had fallen asleep with his head on his boyfriend's shoulder only a few minutes into the movie they had been watching in his room the night before, just as Tracey had predicted he would. Tracey pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, murmuring for him to go back to sleep - not that Gary needed to be told. The first day back home was always spent catching up on sleep.
Tracey checked on him a few hours later, when Gary was awake and working on unpacking and sorting out his field gear. He gave him his usual warm smile but Gary could tell something was off. He seemed a little down, but had brushed off Gary's concern, assuring him that he was fine. Gary didn't believe that but didn't pry - he knew Scyther's health was declining and figured Tracey was likely stressed about his pokemon. There wasn't anything either of them could really do about that… but when he next peeked at his phone, the date caught his eye.
There was something significant about it, but he couldn't quite think of what. It wasn't a birthday, Gary knew that much. Stumped, he typed the date into the search bar on his phone and the answer immediately came to him. It was the first day of spring: the equinox.
Tracey had chosen to stay in Pallet for one of his family's holidays, and Gary was certain it had to do with the short amount of time he would be home before heading off to Sinnoh in a few short weeks.
The realization struck Gary rather hard and he felt a bit conflicted about it. He was flattered that Tracey wanted to spend the time with him, and he knew that Tracey didn't go home for every holiday, but still… Tracey's family was important to him and to give up that time with them just to be with him was special. As warm as that realization felt, Gary hated that Tracey was apparently feeling homesick over it.
He had to do something to remedy that.
He didn't have the faintest idea of what Tracey's family usually did for this particular holiday, but he had noticed a pattern in Tracey's descriptions of other holidays at home in the Orange Islands. His family spent a lot of time outside together, usually with a fire, though Gary knew he couldn't do that part without too many questions being asked. There was always a lot of food too, apparently usually prepared together, with plenty of fresh food from the garden. He couldn't do anything about some of those details, but he could definitely handle figuring out something with food.
It took the better part of an hour, but Gary managed to put together a large lunch for them to share. Nice sandwiches from the deli downtown, a bag of chips, a box of sweets from the bakery, and some sodas wasn't quite as nice as what Gary would have liked to do for Tracey, but it was the best he could throw together at last minute.
Once back at the lab, Gary brought the food to one of the more secluded parts of the reserve: a scenic little alcove in the trees overlooking the pond furthest from the lab. It was one of Tracey's favorite spots. After leaving Nidoking to keep any smaller pokemon from stealing their food, Gary set out to find his boyfriend. It didn't take too much time with Arcanine's help, and he soon enough found Tracey wrapping up with the normal type physicals.
"Hey, Trace!" he called, grinning when he saw him. It had only been a few hours, but he was always happy to see him.
His boyfriend jumped at the sound of his voice but returned his grin and held out a hand to pull Gary in for a quick hug when he reached him. "What are you doing out here?" he asked curiously.
"Are you almost done here?"
Tracey nodded, holding up his clipboard to show the recorded data. "Just finished. Why?"
"I have a surprise."
Tracey frowned, his expression turning confused. "A surprise?" he echoed.
Gary gave a good natured laugh - Tracey was cute when he was confused, he decided. It wasn't often that he saw that expression: dark eyes alit with curiosity, nose scrunched as he tried to work out what was going on. "Don't look so wary, Trace. Don't you trust me?" Gary teased.
Tracey chuckled and leaned in to press a quick kiss to Gary's lips. "Of course I trust you. Let me get cleaned up, okay?"
Gary nodded. "Yeah. Meet me at that spot by pond seven when you're done."
"Okay," Tracey still sounded a little unsure but he gave Gary a smile anyway. "I'll be there in a few minutes."
Pleased, Gary hurried back to Nidoking and the food. He sent his pokemon on his way with a pat on the head and a few berries as a thank you and settled under one of the trees to wait for his boyfriend.
It was a nice day, feeling a little warmer than just the first day of spring. The sun was pleasantly warm where it filtered through the tree branches and gentle breeze rustled the leaves above ever so slightly. It was relaxing enough that Gary found himself struggling to stay awake. He managed for a short while but leaning back against the tree had been a mistake and he felt his eyes closing soon enough.
"Is my surprise an afternoon nap?" Tracey's amused voice came after what felt like no time at all.
Gary's eyes snapped open to find Tracey smiling down at him. "It can be, if you want," he yawned, gesturing for him to sit down next to him.
Tracey joined him beneath the tree and peered curiously over the bags of food. "What's all this?"
"A picnic," Gary replied simply, shrugging his shoulders as though it were nothing. He hesitated briefly before taking a breath and continuing, a bit quieter than usual. "I thought you seemed kinda down earlier and I realized it was the equinox, so I figured… if you can't be home for one of your family's holidays, then we should at least do something together."
A peculiar look came over Tracey's face, grateful and beyond surprised. "Gary… I - you didn't have to do this," he stammered out, peering over the bags of food.
"I wanted to."
The surprise in Tracey's eyes faded into something soft and warm, something that made Gary squirm just a little. That tender of a look felt so intimate that it was hard to look at for too long. Gary bit his lip, wanting to say more but having no idea what to say.
Fortunately words weren't necessary. Tracey reached out and pulled Gary close to him in a warm hug that Gary melted into.
"That's really sweet of you, Gary."
"I… -"
"You don't have to say anything," Tracey saved him from sputtering any further.
Gary shot him a relieved smile and reached out to cup his cheek in one hand, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. He pulled away and tried to ignore the fluttering in his stomach. Very much aware of the blush heating up his face, he busied himself with pushing a bag of food at Tracey.
"Here. Food."
Tracey laughed softly and took the bag, only to set it down on his other side. He caught Gary's hand with his free one and held it. "Hey," he said softly, catching his boyfriend's eye. "This really means a lot to me." He gave the hand in his a gentle squeeze and leaned in to press one more kiss to Gary's cheek.
"It's not much -"
"It is, Gary. You could be sleeping and instead you went and did all of this… It's not one of the big holidays, but you're right. I miss my family, but you're also important to me, and this? This is really thoughtful, Gary."
Instead of trying to brush it off this time, Gary simply nodded. "I'm glad you like it."
"I'm glad I decided to date you," Tracey countered as he reached into the bag Gary had handed him. He grinned when he saw that Gary had splurged on his favorite - they usually got sandwiches at the bakery, going to the deli downtown was a splurge. "I'm really glad I decided to date you."
Gary laughed and passed him one of the sodas he had picked out. "They say the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach."
Shaking his head fondly, Tracey laughed as well. "Oh, I think you went straight for my heart with this one."
"Straight isn't the word I would use," Gary replied airily, pulling his own sandwich out of another bag.
Tracey took a bite of his lunch and chewed thoughtfully before swallowing and giving Gary a playful grin. "I guess setting up a picnic for your boyfriend is pretty gay, isn't it?"
Gary nodded again, his eyes holding a touch of mischief. "Well, I am pretty gay, so…"
Tracey laughed and leaned over to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "I like that about you." He fought down another laugh at the blush that crept over Gary's cheeks at that.
Gary was quiet for a moment, fiddling with the paper wrapper around his sandwich. "Me too," he admitted quietly.
"I'm glad." Tracey's smile was warm and tinged with pride, making the butterfrees in Gary's stomach start fluttering all over again.
They couldn't spend as much time on their little date as they would have preferred, but they savored it regardless. When it was time for Tracey to get back to work, Gary tagged along, helping out with the ponyta and rapidash until Tracey pressed a kiss to his forehead and gently pushed him in the direction of the house. Still tired from the trip, he reluctantly followed Tracey's instruction to get some more rest.
As he snuggled back into the comfortable nest pillows and blankets that was his bed, Gary found himself thinking of how much easier days like today would be once other people knew. The thoughts of being able to spend more time together and of Tracey sleeping in with him, of cuddles and whispered conversations and soft kisses, all filled him with such warmth and longing that it almost hurt.
Gary closed his eyes and let out a sigh.
Soon. Maybe not soon enough, but he was almost there.
… … …
April couldn't come quick enough for Gary. It was going to be a particularly busy month between his birthday and heading to Sinnoh, but there was another plan that had him excited. It was just barely warm enough to surf, and he and Wyatt had finally made plans to go to the beach one afternoon before he left for Sinnoh.
When the day came, his grandfather tried to keep him occupied in the lab but every chore and little project he sent Gary's way was completed in record time. Finally the professor relented and let him leave early with a firm warning to wear his wetsuit. As much as Gary disliked wetsuits, he knew Pallet's waters were far too cold to do without one, especially this early in spring. His wetsuit was already waiting in his car, along with towels and snacks, and his board was already strapped to the roof and ready to go. After the dives in Hoenn and the recent work with wild gyarados in Johto, Gary was more than ready to be back on a surfboard - especially now that he had a brand new one.
When he pulled up to his friend's house, Wyatt was pacing back and forth across the porch, looking pale and stressed. Still, he grinned as he tossed his stuff in the Jeep and strapped his board to the roof. Gary saw how forced the grin was but decided not to comment on it. He had fully anticipated his friend being at least a little nervous and had planned ahead for this months earlier. He had brought Blastoise and Gyarados along with him, remembering how Blastoise's presence had helped him in Hoenn. Gyarados wasn't entirely necessary but he hadn't brought her to the beach in ages and he figured her presence would scare away any critters that might worsen any nerves.
The drive to the beach was quiet enough that Gary made no move to get out of the car once he parked. He let the engine idle, turned the music down, and waited..
"I don't know if I can do this," Wyatt blurted suddenly.
This was the part Gary had been most worried about. He wasn't worried about getting in the water or paddling out on the boards, especially not with his pokemon, but getting his friend from the car to the water…
Gary wasn't entirely sure what to do, but he immediately thought of Tracey and how he had reassured him before going to Hoenn.
"You've got this, Wyatt. You've been working on it for months." he pointed out.
"Yeah, but it's all been in pools. This is the ocean. This is…"
"This is where it happened," Gary finished quietly when Wyatt's voice trailed off.
Wyatt stayed quiet and stared out the window at the waves that were breaking. The water was calm today, the waves small enough that it would have been disappointing were it not their first time in months.
Gary could see his eyes darting over the sandy stretch of beach and was reminded of the way his own stomach had twisted and churned just sitting at the harbor. "Remembering it?"
"Yeah…"
He nodded, trying to think of what to say. This sort of thing came so easily to Tracey, but Gary already felt like he was floundering. "Being at the harbor the first time, seeing the beach again… it really kind of fucked with me," he admitted after a moment.
Wyatt huffed out a small, strained laugh. "Nice to know I'm not alone in that."
Still not sure what to say, Gary gestured to the center console and the two pokeballs nestled in the cup holder. "Anything out there has to get past Blastoise and Gyarados. Trust me, Gyarados will scare away any sharks before they get even close to us." Hopefully that was at least a little reassuring.
Wyatt gave an amused snort. "Your gyarados could scare Satan." His voice was still tighter than usual, but the amusement sounded genuine.
Gary grinned and rubbed his thumb over her ball. "She's a sweetheart compared to the ones in Johto."
"Only you, Gary," Wyatt sighed, shaking his head. "Alright, let's get this shit over with." He grabbed his wetsuit and opened the door, climbing out before Gary could say anything.
Gary wasn't sure if this was going to end up being easier or harder than anticipated. He opened his door as well, carefully balancing on the ledge below the door to rest his arms on the board strapped to the roof. Wyatt was doing the same on the opposite side of the car, undoing the straps holding his board there.
"What's the plan, Wyatt?"
Wyatt gave a small shrug as one of the straps came loose. "Gotta get in the water to surf. Let's just get that part over with and go from there."
Gary nodded and reached for the straps on his own board, quickly undoing them. He tugged his board down from the roof and hopped down to the ground as Wyatt did the same and they headed towards the wooden stairs leading down the dunes and to the water. After the time in Hoenn, walking to the water wasn't an issue for Gary so he led the way, letting his friend follow at his own pace. Having a feeling that it would be a while before they actually got in the water, he set his board down in the sand and tossed his towel and wetsuit on top of it while he waited on Wyatt, who was trudging through the sand far slower than Gary had.
"Fuck, I hate sand," Wyatt muttered when he reached Gary. He dropped his board in the sand next to Gary's and stared out at the water.
"How're you feeling about water?" Gary asked, walking the few remaining feet to where the waves were gently lapping at the shore.
"Nervous." But he followed Gary to the edge of the water and watched as Gary took a few steps in.
Gary bit back a gasp at just how cold the water was - it would be okay for wading, but he was grateful to have a wetsuit for whenever they actually got in the water. He tossed out the two pokeballs he had brought with him and watched as Blastoise and Gyarados materialized in the water. Gyarados voiced her approval of their surroundings with a roar that would have terrified most trainers but Gary only grinned as she dove into the waves and began swimming. Blastoise dove in as well but remained closer to Gary, periodically surfacing to peer curiously at Wyatt.
While Gary was wading through the shallow water he kept an eye on Wyatt. The other boy's eyes darted back and forth over the water and the sand constantly - Gary had a feeling he knew what he was thinking about but didn't say anything. He'd had to suck it up and talk to his boyfriend and his mentors, and Wyatt was going to have to do the same. It would happen eventually, but for now Gary was content to wade in the shallows and watch his pokemon while his friend took however long he needed.
He was distracted by Gyarados swimming at the surface a little further out. Her scales glimmered in the afternoon sunlight, mesmerizing even from a distance. For a brief moment, Gary felt a sense of serenity: the ocean was calm, the sky was clear, and one his most beautiful, powerful, and difficult pokemon was enjoying herself. His attention was pulled away from the serpentine pokemon when Blastoise surfaced nearby. His starter gave a small growl and looked pointedly at the shore. When Gary turned back to the beach, he saw that Wyatt had moved back to the spot where their boards were resting in the sand and was sitting with his head resting against his drawn up knees.
That probably wasn't good. Gary glanced back at Gyarados one last time before leaving the water and walking over to his friend, kneeling in the sand next to him when he reached him. "What's up?" he asked.
"I can't stop thinking about it…"
That didn't surprise Gary. He remembered saying something very similar to Tracey the night of the attack, out by the pool. It had been true for weeks afterwards too, though he hadn't said anything to anyone at the time.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, a bit awkwardly.
Wyatt only shook his head, but Gary had figured that would be his response. Of all the things he had learned over the last year and a half, the benefit of talking to someone when something was bothering him was at the top of the list. Tracey and the professors hadn't let him off the hook so easily, and he wasn't about to let his friend off the hook either.
"Do you need to talk about it?" he asked instead.
Wyatt sighed and was quiet for another moment. "Probably," he said finally, lifting his head and looking back out at the water.
"Then talk about it," Gary prompted.
"It's not that easy."
"How do you think I felt in Hoenn?" Gary asked quietly. Wyatt looked at him curiously and he continued. "I wanted to get in the water the whole time, but I kept thinking about that day. It's okay to be scared or nervous or whatever. It took me almost two weeks to get in the water, remember?"
Wyatt shook his head. "There's more than just that."
Considering how much of an impact the attack had, Gary wasn't surprised to hear this. Anything with a big impact would have layers and complications, and Gary knew that from experience. At least he'd had Tracey and the professors to talk to when he was working through this. Right now, Wyatt only had him and Gary could only hope his floundering attempts to help his friend would actually help.
At least neither of them had lost their patience yet - that had to count for something.
"Like what?" Gary asked.
Wyatt heaved a sigh, his eyes narrowing even as they stayed trained on the waves. "This shit's been real hard," he finally said after another moment.
"No kidding." Wyatt gave him one of the harshest glares he'd ever given him but Gary laughed softly. "Wyatt, we were there," he reminded him. "It was scary for all of us, but you're the one that had to go through eight hours of surgery and seven months of physical therapy. No one's gonna blame you for having a hard time."
"That's not what I mean. It wasn't just getting bit: it was my parents, it was school, there was shit with you and Darren. My whole life got turned upside down. And then I was on meds that made me feel awful and I couldn't do any of the stuff that I would normally do… I couldn't take it." The last part was quiet, but not like an afterthought. It sounded more like a confession.
An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Gary's stomach. He remembered all too well how it felt to have everything in life seemingly going wrong, how hard it was to drag himself through the day only to have to get up and do it again the next day, how much it hurt to have disappointment and disapproval coming at him from so many different sides… But it felt like something was being unsaid.
"What are you getting at?" he asked quietly. Considering some of the comments Wyatt had made and the fact that he had been taken off pain medications, Gary had a feeling it was something he wouldn't exactly want to hear.
There was a tense pause where Wyatt stared out at the water before he took a deep breath and rested his head against his drawn up knees. "I tried to kill myself. That's why I can't have pain meds."
Gary's breath left him entirely. He floundered for a reply but none came to him. The thought of losing his friend that way ripped through him, hurting so much more than the thought of losing him to a freak shark attack had. His own depression hadn't reached that point, but he remembered all too well just how terrible he had felt then. To feel even worse than that - bad enough to try to end it all…
He couldn't imagine how terrible that must have been.
"I'm sorry we weren't there for you," he managed to choke out.
He had been busy at the time - distracted by trying to get out of going to school and what had happened with Amanda at that one party, overwhelmed by the rift he had put between him and Tracey at the time. He hadn't even known his friend was struggling that badly.
Wyatt shook his head. "You're the last person who should be fucking apologizing. You visited me in the hospital more than my own mother did."
"Yeah, but -"
Don't apologize," Wyatt cut him off, shaking his head. "It's done. Can't change the past. I'm better now anyway." He was quiet for a moment as he looked over at Gary. "So now you know the shit I was dealing with. I feel like school wasn't the only thing making you so miserable."
"No, it wasn't," Gary admitted quietly. It once again felt selfish to him to turn the conversation to his issues when Wyatt had just told him this. But Wyatt was the one who had asked, so he pushed that thought away.
This was it, he supposed. Wyatt had told him a heavy secret and it was only fair for Gary to do the same. His throat was tightening, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been in the past. He could do this, he told himself - he had been saying it to Tracey for months now, to the point that it had become a sort of game between them.
He could definitely do this.
Gary took a deep breath and pushed forward. "I was struggling because -" he had to pause to unstick his throat and take another breath. "Not long after I came home, I realized that… I'm gay."
Wyatt was utterly silent and Gary didn't dare look over at him. He saw from the corner of his eye how quickly his friend's head had snapped towards him and hoped beyond all hope that his friend's surprise wouldn't turn to something far worse.
"Please say something," Gary blurted after a moment of pure anxiety.
"I…" Wyatt took an audibly deep breath and sputtered a bit. "I'm so sorry," he finally said, his voice small.
What did that mean? It was definitely not the response Gary had expected. "What the hell are you apologizing for?" he asked incredulously, unsure if he should be insulted or not.
"Because I know I said some stupid shit that probably made things even harder for you," he replied, his voice pained. "Plus the bullshit that comes out of Mike and Brandon's mouths. No wonder you were so miserable."
Gary rolled his eyes at the mention of the other boys. "Maybe don't go telling them?"
"It's your business to tell," Wyatt replied immediately, "not mine. As long as you don't tell anyone about… y'know."
"You know I won't," Gary promised.
Another quiet fell between them, a little awkward after each having shared a secret they had been keeping, but not uncomfortable. If anything, the quiet was lighter than any of the other quiet moments had been today. There was an incredible sense of relief, for Gary at least, and he was certain it was similar for Wyatt as well.
It was Wyatt who broke the quiet after a few moments passed with them simply sitting and watching the waves.
"Is that why you and Tracey are so close?" Gary froze at the question and Wyatt obviously noticed, if his sudden wide grin was anything to go by. "You two are fucking, aren't you?"
"Not exactly."
"Dating?" Wyatt pressed, still grinning.
"Yeah…"
This didn't seem to bother Wyatt in the slightest. "Cool," he said easily, nodding as though Gary had just told him an interesting detail about a pokemon.
Gary had expected more of a response than that. "That's it?" he asked warily.
"What do you mean 'that's it'? You're into guys and you're dating one that's right up your fucking alley, man. It's not like you just told me you get off on slitting throats or some shit."
Gary couldn't help but laugh at that but it faded after a moment. "Thanks, Wyatt."
His friend shrugged it off as though it were nothing. "You kinda kept me from bleeding out on the beach, the least I can do is not be a dick about who you wanna date." Another easy quiet fell between them, broken by Wyatt after a minute or so. "If we're not getting in the water, wanna get some food?"
Gary rolled his eyes, a bit amused by how easily distracted his friend was, but agreed anyway. The food stands at the boardwalk wouldn't open for another month, but the bait shop would have snacks and drinks.
They left their boards in the sand, leaning up against the boardwalk like they always did in summer with their friends. There weren't many options in the way of food but several minutes later found them on the boardwalk watching the waves, each with a small bag of chips and a soda. They chatted as they ate, avoiding any of the topics they had already spent so long on, instead talking about the Sinnoh trip Gary had coming up.
For a few minutes, everything was utterly normal, as though there had never been an attack, as though they hadn't both spent the better part of a year miserable and at each other's throats. It was as though a storm had finally blown over and they had found a new normal. Gary was tempted to comment on it but had no idea what to say. How could he possibly put words to this feeling of absolute relief?
Wyatt crumpled his chip bag noisily and tossed it into the nearby trash can. "I feel better now," he announced rather suddenly.
"Just needed food?"
"No." Wyatt paused with a thoughtful look. "I mean, that helped, but no. Talking about it all. It just feels better, y'know?"
Gary nodded, tossing his own empty bag in the trash. "Turns out talking about shit helps. Who knew?"
Wyatt ignored the comment. "I think I'm ready to try the water now."
Gary looked back at the water and nodded his agreement. The waves were still small and calm, and his pokemon were still swimming and enjoying themselves, but it was starting to get a little later in the afternoon. If they wanted to actually get around to catching a few waves, they needed to get out on the water soon. "Let's go."
It wasn't a quick process. Wyatt was still nervous and hesitant, and so he lingered at the edge of the water after they had pulled on their wetsuits. Gary, on the other hand, had walked straight into the water with his board, wading out a short distance before sitting on the side of his board facing his friend. Determined to at least get Wyatt into the water with his board, Gary decided to distract him with conversation, this time talking about the kayaking and paddleboarding he had done in Hoenn with Professor Ivy. Before too long, Wyatt had stepped into the water and waded out to ankle-deep water. Gary kept talking, occasionally moving a little further out into the water until his friend was finally in waist-deep water.
He grinned and repositioned himself on his board, ready to paddle out. "Well? Gonna get on your board any time soon?" he teased.
Wyatt nodded and took a deep breath but still hesitated. Gary took the chance to turn his board out towards the ocean and waited for his friend's board to pull up next to him. They shared a smile - and then promptly nearly jumped out of their skin when Blastoise surfaced between them. The boys immediately dissolved into laughter when they realized it was just Blastoise.
"Fuck," Wyatt gasped between laughs. He wiped tears of mirth from his eyes as Gary reached out and splashed an armful of water at him.
"You jumped too," Gary pointed out, still laughing as well.
"Yeah, but it wasn't as funny as you getting scared by your own pokemon," Wyatt snickered, splashing him back.
A small splash fight ensued, with both boys laughing like children until an approaching wave made them pause. They were too close to shore to even consider attempting to catch the wave and the only options were to either let it break on top of them or to push through it on their boards. Gary didn't hesitate and immediately paddled forward, the movement purely instinctual after spending so many summers surfing with the other boys in Pallet. He emerged on the other side of the wave dripping wet but excited to finally be back out like this… Except he wasn't alone, he remembered.
He looked back at his friend, who hadn't reacted quite fast enough to avoid the wave hitting him. Fortunately Wyatt was fine and laughed it off, wiping water from his face.
"Jeez, you're off your board for a few months and you've already forgotten how to go through a wave?" Gary teased, shooting him a grin. "C'mon, I thought you knew what you were doing."
"Oh, blow me," Wyatt shot back, rolling his eyes. He was still laughing a bit so Gary only laughed again.
"Is that an invitation?"
Wyatt barked out a surprised laugh at that. "Wow, I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did," Gary replied. His laughter tapered off and he gave his friend a pointed look. "Although, since you're on your board, in the water, you should be paddling out, instead of walking into dick jokes."
Wyatt rolled his eyes but repositioned on his board anyway. "Alright, boss," he agreed with only a touch of reluctance in his voice as he started to paddle towards Gary.
Finally they were able to paddle out to deeper water. Blastoise stayed close by and Gyarados swam around them, giving them a wide berth while still providing them with a sort of perimeter of protection. It kept them comfortable enough to stay out on their boards without either boy getting too nervous, even if they were still a little jumpy with every shadow they saw in the water. After some time - and a lot of laughter and teasing between the two - the jumpiness calmed down.
Several waves came and went, passing gently beneath their boards. Even though he was ready to ride one in, Gary waited for Wyatt to go for one first. After the first few waves, he could see his friend preparing to paddle in to catch each following wave, but Wyatt stopped himself every time. It was encouraging to see, but frustrating as well, because he knew his friend could do it. Gary had to wonder if this was how Tracey felt every time he had come close to coming out only to not.
After a while of this, Gary finally lost his patience. "Go!" he insisted, splashing Wyatt when he saw the next decent wave approaching.
Apparently that was the only push he needed. Wyatt sent him the briefest glare for the splash but quickly began to paddle in to catch it. Gary let the wave pass beneath him and watched his friend paddle in and finally stand on the board, riding it all the way to shore as though no time had passed. Blastoise followed along behind him and Gary couldn't help but laugh when he heard Wyatt whoop triumphantly when he reached the shore, immediately turning back and swiftly paddling back out.
Gary shook his head. "Told you you could do it," he muttered, amused. He held his hand out when Wyatt returned and the other boy slapped his palm against it.
"Your turn!" Wyatt crowed, nodding towards the next building wave. "Let's see if you remember how to stand on your board!"
Gary laughed again and quickly began paddling in. Even though it had been months and it was his first time on a brand new board, the movements came back automatically and he soon enough felt that incredible adrenaline rushing through his veins. It was as easy as it had ever been, except it was even better now. It wasn't just that he had a properly sized board for the first time in a long while - he was happier now and genuinely more at ease with himself. It felt as though it was easier to breathe, like a weight had been lifted.
They fell right back into their usual rhythm of riding waves in and paddling back out with teasing and banter and laughter in between. It was already late afternoon but they stayed out until the sun was low in the sky. They paddled in one last time and Gary recalled his pokemon - Gyarados was especially displeased with this, but was easily appeased when Wyatt promised her that she could come with them the next, and Gary found himself agreeing to another afternoon of surfing without hesitation.
As they returned to the Jeep and attached their boards to the roof, Gary found himself growing excited all over again. He was eager to tell May that it had gone well, and was pleased that he would be able to tell his grandfather that the board he had bought him was absolutely perfect.
But he was most excited to tell Tracey that he had actually done it this time.
As they settled in the car and dug into the snacks that Gary had brought along, Wyatt brought the subject back up.
"So. You and Tracey." It was almost like he had noticed that Gary's thoughts had turned towards his boyfriend.
Gary hoped it wasn't that obvious."Yeah?"
"When'd you guys start dating?" he asked curiously.
"October."
"That got anything to do with you disappearing during that party?"
"Maybe," Gary hedged, not entirely wanting to share those particular details. He wasn't embarrassed - it was just that disappearing from a party to make out with a guy and immediately fall asleep after was definitely not as exciting as whatever Wyatt clearly thought happened.
"Aw, c'mon!" Wyatt nudged Gary in the ribs and laughed when Gary shoved his shoulder in retaliation.
"What?"
"C'mon, man," Wyatt prompted, grinning. "Spill."
"I - nothing happened!"
"Bullshit. You're blushing so hard."
"I am not!"
"Yeah, you are," Wyatt laughed. "Oh, this is fantastic." Gary shoved him again but Wyatt only laughed harder. "Nothing happened, huh?"
Gary rolled his eyes and threw a granola bar wrapper at him. "Fuck off." There wasn't any heat behind it but Wyatt's laughter tapered off.
"Oh man, I didn't know you'd be so fun to fuck with," Wyatt said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
After all of the emotions and anxieties of the day, they probably both needed this , but still… "Shut up."
"Alright, alright," Wyatt said, obviously biting back another laugh as he held his hands up placatingly.
Gary was quiet for a moment. "We made out, went to sleep, and then started dating the next morning," he admitted finally.
Wyatt burst into renewed laughter. "You're so lame, why am I even surprised?"
But it was said in good fun and Gary laughed as well. That was the response he had expected. "I mean, did you really expect anything else from me?" he asked.
"No," Wyatt replied bluntly. "I just don't get how you can do so much cool shit and still be so boring." He was grinning still so Gary only rolled his eyes. "I'm happy for you though. For real."
"Thanks, Wyatt."
Wyatt shrugged it off. "Who else have you told?" he asked curiously after a moment.
"No one."
"Seriously?"
"Well, Tracey's family and Professor Ivy know, but you and Trace are the only ones I've told."
The surprise was obvious enough that Gary had to fight not to laugh. "Shit. You told me before your grandfather or Darren? That's… wow."
Gary shrugged his shoulders, not entirely sure what to say. He was surprised as well. If someone had told him when he was first struggling with coming to terms with his sexuality that Wyatt would be the first person that he actually told, he would have laughed.
But here they were.
"That's just how things worked out," he said quietly.
"Well…" Wyatt began a bit awkwardly, shifting his weight on the bench. "Thanks for trusting me or whatever people say."
Gary shot him a grin. "You're welcome, or whatever."
"Oh, fuck off."
"Fuck you."
"Nah, I'm not into that."
Fully unprepared for that reply, Gary couldn't help but burst into laughter that Wyatt quickly joined. Gary felt lighter, more at ease than he could remember feeling in a very long time.
Finally, someone else knew.
He had told one of his friends - not just any friend, but one of the ones he had been most worried about telling - and the response had been overwhelmingly good! Sure, Wyatt had laughed and joked, but he'd accepted it without question, without hesitation, and had even recognized how he had made things more difficult and apologized for it. He had even taken the news of him and Tracey dating with casual curiosity and easy acceptance without any of the crap he usually gave the other guys for their girlfriends!
That last part stuck with Gary. His friend had not only accepted, but apparently approved of his relationship with Tracey. That had to say something about the relationship and that meant… that everything was okay.
It wasn't just that everything was going to be okay: everything was okay.
… … …
Spring evenings in Pallet were uniquely beautiful and tonight was no different. The sunset had been a spectacular display of pinks and oranges and Tracey hoped Gary had enjoyed it as much as he had. Settled into the window seat in the living room with his sketchbook in his lap, Tracey felt utterly peaceful and at ease - and that wasn't specific to this particular moment. It was true in general. Tracey was comfortable and happy with where his life was at: he had a job he enjoyed, two families that he loved, and a boyfriend that he absolutely adored.
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway pulled Tracey's attention away from his sketchbook. Gary had been quiet the last several hours, which was unsurprising but still felt strange. He knew that Gary usually left his phone in his car when he was at the beach with his friends, but Tracey hadn't been able to help feeling a little worried over the extended period of silence from his boyfriend. He looked out the living room window in time to see Gary climb out of the Jeep and start undoing the straps holding his board to the roof.
It was relief enough to see him back, but then Tracey caught sight of his smile. With how much he had been looking forward to surfing again, a smile wasn't the slightest bit surprising… But this wasn't his usual smile.
Something had happened.
Curious and eager to talk to his boyfriend, Tracey set his sketchbook down on the coffee table and hurried to greet him outside. Gary was around the side of the house, rinsing off his surfboard and wetsuit with the garden hose when Tracey emerged from the garage. It was fully dark out with only a sliver of a moon in the sky, but Tracey could see just enough to tell that Gary was indeed in a good mood… an exceptionally good mood.
"How'd it go?" Tracey called as he rounded the corner of the house.
Gary jumped at the sound of his voice but grinned at the sight of him. "It was great!" he replied, sounding as happy as he looked.
Good. Tracey had been a little worried that this outing wouldn't go as planned, but it seemed that everything was just fine. "Wyatt was able to surf without any issues?"
"Eventually." Gary moved to return the garden hose to its spot on the side of the house, tugging Tracey's hand to get him to follow.
It was a little more secluded in this spot. Though visible to the lab, the darkness and the shade of a large tree near the house provided plenty of cover. Getting caught wasn't a concern right now. After turning off the water and stowing the hose, Gary tugged Tracey closer and kissed him deeply.
Tracey couldn't help but feel elated - Gary had never kissed him within view of the lab like this. Whether they were likely to get caught didn't matter: this was a big deal. Eager to deepen the kiss even further, Tracey allowed his hands to trail up Gary's sides, pulling him even closer as a blissful sigh escaped him. But Gary pulled away after a moment, breathless and panting a little from the intensity.
"Wait," he whispered, closing his eyes briefly.
Tracey backed off a bit and took one of Gary's hands, giving it a gentle squeeze. When Gary opened his eyes, he flashed Tracey what must have been the brightest smile Tracey had ever seen from him. His heart fluttered - Gary hadn't said anything about plans other than surfing, but that smile…
He had a feeling he knew what that meant, but couldn't quite believe it. He didn't dare get his hopes up.
"I told him," Gary whispered.
Tracey froze, his brain short-circuiting momentarily with the surprise. He recovered quickly and pulled Gary against him in a tight bear hug, drawing a surprised squeak from his boyfriend. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered back.
He heard Gary take a sharp breath and felt the tremble running through him - unsurprising with how enormous of a step this was. Tracey held him close and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, gently running a soothing hand up and down Gary's back. That smile had been enough to soothe any worries Tracey might have had over his boyfriend's tears, but he had to ask regardless. He pulled away just enough to meet Gary's eyes and cupped his face in his hands, gently thumbing away the tears.
"Are these happy tears?"
Gary nodded and flung his arms around Tracey, burying his face against his shoulder. "Relieved," he choked out.
As much as Tracey hated to see him in tears, Tracey couldn't help but smile, relieved as well. He threaded his fingers through Gary's hair and wrapped his other arm around his waist, pressing another kiss to his temple. "I'm so happy for you," he murmured, taking the chance to just hold him and savor his warmth in the rapidly cooling evening air.
It didn't take long for Gary to calm down. The trembles running through him settled and his breath returned to normal soon enough, but Tracey was in no rush to let him go. Still, he let Gary go when he inevitably pulled back.
"Feel better?"
Gary nodded, wiping his face with his hand. "Sorry, I just-"
"Gary," Tracey laughed gently, "there's nothing to apologize for." He removed the arm from around Gary's waist and took one of his hands instead. "I mean it - I really am proud of you," he said softly, cupping Gary's cheek with his other hand. He doubted Gary realized just how happy today's news made him, but it was absolutely true.
Gary bit his lip, his gaze dropping to the ground. "You're gonna make me cry again," he complained.
Tracey shot him an apologetic smile, his eyes soft and fond. "Well, think of the day you just had," he reasoned. "You went surfing for the first time since Wyatt got bit, and you helped him with his first time back in the water. That can't have been easy."
Gary shook his head and Tracey gave his hand another little squeeze.
"And you came out to one of your best friends… and dealt with whatever conversation led to that," he added as an afterthought. "That's a lot, Gary." His words were meant to be comforting, but Gary winced ever so slightly at the mention of the conversation with Wyatt. Baffled by that, Tracey frowned. "Did something else happen?"
"No," Gary shook his head again. "It was just… not an easy conversation," he sighed.
Tracey wasn't sure what to think about that, but he pulled Gary close once more. "You've really had a busy day, huh?" he asked, feeling his boyfriend melt against him.
Gary huffed out a small laugh. "Yeah, you could say that."
As much as he had missed their evening drawing session, Tracey thought it sounded like a quiet night was in order. "Well, how about you take a shower and have some food? We could watch a movie after," he suggested.
"You know I'm gonna fall asleep again."
Tracey laughed at that: Gary rarely made it more than twenty minutes into a movie with him. He suspected it was mostly due to how warm and comfortable it was with them cuddled together on Gary's bed with their pokemon, and he couldn't find it in him to mind when it meant that he could spend the night with his boyfriend in his arms. "I'm counting on it," he said honestly, musing Gary's hair.
Gary gave him a smile, not as radiant as the one he had given before telling Tracey that he had told Wyatt, but certainly brighter than anything in the last few minutes. "That eager to sleep with me?" he teased.
"Your bedroom is very comfortable for sleeping." It was dark and cozy, and the string lights along the ceiling gave just enough light to be comfortable while watching a movie.
"Even more when I get to use you as a pillow."
Tracey couldn't help but grin - that was his favorite part. "That sounds very gay," he teased.
To his surprise, Gary pulled him in for a passionate kiss that was over far too soon. When it was over, he brought his mouth to Tracey's ear, giving the lobe a quick nip. "I am," he replied.
"And now someone else knows," Tracey said, attempting to suppress the shudder that move had sent through him. Gary's mischievous little grin told him that he had definitely noticed. As tempted as he was to pull Gary back against him, to kiss him absolutely senseless, there were other things to do. He tugged Gary's hand and tilted his head toward the house. "I didn't expect this, but I have a surprise for you."
The way Gary's eyes lit up with curiosity brought another smile to Tracey's face. He waited as Gary gathered up his surfboard and wetsuit, and led him into the garage. The wetsuit was hung up to dry and the board was propped up in the corner to wait for the next outing, which Tracey was sure would be in a matter of days. He released Gary's hand as they entered the kitchen and headed to the freezer with a grin, opening it to reveal the tub of ice cream he had picked up this afternoon. Before Gary could say anything, he closed it again and nodded to the bag from the bakery sitting on the counter. He'd known today would be on the more difficult side for Gary and had thought brownie sundaes sounded like the perfect treat, but now that Gary was back home, Tracey was all the more happy that he had prepared this little surprise.
They had a reason to celebrate tonight.
Tracey gave Gary another smile and walked him towards the hallway. "Go take a shower," he suggested. "This'll be ready when you are."
Even though they were just outside the living room, where May was in the middle of an evening yoga session, Gary pressed a quick kiss to Tracey's cheek. "You're the best, Trace."
He shrugged it off with a smile and gently pushed Gary towards the stairs. He didn't get to spoil his boyfriend often and was all too eager to jump at the opportunity. "Go take your shower," he repeated.
As he watched Gary head up the stairs, Tracey couldn't help but think that perhaps what he felt towards his boyfriend was a little more than adoration. Tracey felt a little more at ease now that Gary had taken this step, but even if it was a year before Gary told another person, he would still be proud of him for what he had done and would still be eagerly waiting to help him take the next step - whatever it was.
… … …