"GIR! Where are you? You have work to do."

Nope. Not gonna open my eyes. No workie today. Sleep day.

"GIR! NOW!"

Naaaaaaaaah. Don't wanna.

"GIR! If you don't obey RIGHT NOW–"

Suddenly, Zim's voice cuts off, to be replaced by the chirping of birds. I open my eyes in surprise. I lie in lush grass, surrounded by flowers and butterflies.

Meh. Boring. Wait… How did I get here? Who cares! At least it's quiet.

But then I notice something waaaaay better than boring plants and bugs

There is bacon floating in the breeze.

I smile.

Everywhere I look, bacon flutters earthward, slowly majestically. I think I've found paradise.

A strip comes to rest on my head. I gobble it down. Ecstasy…

I snatch two more strips out of the air. Nom nom.

Anywhere the bacon reaches the ground, it transforms into fallen leaves.

I must save the bacon!

I leap to my feet, rushing about, grabbing and gobbling as fast as I can. I cannot let this beautiful bacon be wasted!

A bit carried away, I slip on some leaves and fall flat on my back.

Then, through the delightful madness of my typical perception of reality… I come to a tragic discovery.

This isn't real.

It can't be.

It's just too perfect and beautiful.

I'm dreaming.

I lie in the grass, weeping uncontrollably, realizing that I simply fell asleep when Zim was giving me orders. "Just a dream! Just a dream! Meanie dream! Lying to GIR! Tricking GIR!"

Suddenly, the ground beneath me shifts. I open my eyes.

I'm now lying in the middle of a city street, although there's no traffic. To either side, high rise apartment buildings block most of my view.

Big cute fluffy things are leaping and dancing on the rooftops. I access my databanks, and determine these are capybaras. Yay! They're basically giant guinea pigs! I can pet them and love them and–

Wait… nope. This has gotta still be a dream.

So sad.

Then the capybaras start jumping off the buildings.

Whuuuuuuut?

They spring across the gap, covering the whole width of the street, pinballing from one building to the other on the way down. Hundreds of them rebound off balconies, ladders and walls.

This is a pretty fun dream.

But then some start missing their jumps, and they splat on the street.

Not fun.

And when others start surviving the fall, it gets REALLY not fun.

Because these are not nice, gentle, plant-eating capybaras.

These are crazy ninja nightmare capybaras.

They bare their enormous rodent teeth, howl light banshees, and charge toward me.

Uh oh.

The first dream must have gotten very angry with me for being so ungrateful as to call it out and discover it wasn't real.

So now it's gonna kill me.

"Not AGAIN!"

I leap to my feet, blitzing through the city, screaming and wailing and begging for help. I have an arsenal of advanced weaponry, but…

"Too cute to shoot too cute to shoot too cute to shoot!"

I really should have pretended the first dream was real. Never be rude to your dreams. They can get very nasty.

Author's Note:

I didn't consciously make this story up. It was a dream I had last night. This was not the first time I discovered I was dreaming, and the dream turned angry and nasty in response. It's like, when I start to go lucid, the dream takes extreme offense, with a "Ya think this is fake? While I'll show YOU!" attitude. The first time this happened, I was facing off with a hideous little monster. I told it, "You can't hurt me. This is just a dream." It immediately proved my first statement wrong by savaging me mercilessly.

For a lot of people, realizing that they're dreaming gives them godlike powers, able to reshape the dream however they want, giving themselves superpowers and having a ton of fun.

Sounds nice. But that is not how it works for me. My dreams are proud actors that want me to buy into the fiction. And when I break the fourth wall, the dream breaks me in revenge.