Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Slavi and her sister belong to Spidey Viewer, and Jinx, Parasoleil, and Asagi and all related children to kivathedcwizard. Anything else original is mine.
Giff compared the picture on his phone to the building before him. Yes, this did indeed seem to be Moraboshi Elementary School. He could hear children playing and listening – or rather, pretending to listen – to their teachers inside. Plus, the air was heavy with the pure, unadulterated malevolence only children seemed capable of generating. He didn't understand why so many humans seemed to believe their offspring were innocent; the sorts of unthinking cruelties they casually inflicted on each other or on helpless animals for their own amusement could sometimes far outstrip what adults were capable of. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism, to deny the things they had suffered or done to others to keep from admitting that their childhoods had been nowhere near as idyllic or pure as they chose to remember?
Well, that was a question for another time. Of greater concern to him was why there was so much malice in the air, far more than he had expected. It was as if a vortex of absolute, unspeakable evil rivaling even the Ark was centered on the school, which he was fairly sure your average elementary school wasn't supposed to have, unless all the children were budding sociopaths or serial killers, which he didn't think was the case. After all, if it were, then Lovekov wouldn't go here, right? None of her classmates seemed to fit the description, anyway…
Well, whatever the source of this extra-concentrated evil was, he was certain he was going to feed well today – and on a coincidental note, it was just about lunchtime anyway.
Tuning out the unusually high levels of malice, he could sense a number of rather surprising presences inside. Almost all of the children and staff were human, but he could detect quite a lot of other species represented as well. There was Lovekov, of course, but he also could taste the auras of numerous extraterrestrials, magical creatures, artificial life forms…
And…
No, surely those couldn't be what he thought they were, were they? What would they be doing here, at a school of all places? Surely he must be mistaken.
Regardless, he had heard his great-granddaughter attended a very special class full of other people who didn't quite fit in with the rest of humanity, and it seemed that was not far from the truth.
Of much greater concern to him, however, was the fact that right outside the front gates, leashed to a pole, was a child sized creature wearing a plastic cone around her head, vigorously trying to scratch at it with a hind leg. It had red skin, black hair, broken horns, tiny bat wings, a spiked collar, hooves for feet, and a pointy tail. Giff immediately identified her as a demon – not one of his, of course – and was understandably perplexed she was out here instead of inside with the other children.
"Hello, small demon," Geoff said. "Why are you out here instead of inside with the other children?"
"I'm not a student here, pets aren't allowed so I have to wait outside," the imp grunted, scratching even harder. "What's it to you-"
She glanced up at Giff, paled, and immediately prostrated herself before him. "Oh no! I'm sorry, Your Wickedness, I didn't recognize you! Please, please don't hurt me or my mistresses! We've done nothing to anger a mighty demon lord such as yourself!"
"You have nothing to worry about," Giff said quickly. "I'm not a demon lord, though I am related to one. I am Giffrey Igarashi, a member of the Igarashi family, descendants of the great demon king Giff and future rulers of the Earth."
"Oh! Sorry, I must've mistaken you for Giff," the imp remarked in surprise. "You look a lot like him. Strong family resemblance."
"Yes, I've been told as much," Giff agreed, pleased that she'd fallen for his cunning ruse. And his subordinates seemed to think he was terrible at disguising himself! "So you are a pet?"
The imp nodded rapidly. "Yes, my mistress is the beautiful and powerful fallen angel Lilim, and my other mistress is her little sister Cherubi. I'm going to be her fuck toy when she grows up!"
"It's good to have a goal in life," Giff said in approval. "Wait, Lilim… Would she by any chance happen to be related to an angel named Serafina, who has a demoness named Eden as a lover?"
The imp's eyes lit up. "Yes, that's her! Your ancestor helped them get together in heaven! They owe him a great deal!"
"I was happy to help. I mean, he was," Giff corrected himself quickly. "I'm assuming, then, that Cherubi attends this school, and Lilim is here for Family Day, much like me?" He'd thought he heard Lovekov mentioning she had an angel for a classmate once, but he hadn't realized she meant it literally.
The imp nodded rapidly. "Uh-huh! Lady Serafina was busy helping Lady Eden get settled in heaven, and her mother Lady Ofanina has a chariot race, so Lilim came instead and brought me because her boyfriend threatened to skin me, turn me inside out, and torture and rape me to death if he had to watch me one more time. I only defecated on his bed like a dozen times! And only half of those were on purpose."
Giff stared at her. "Do… You also need help getting to heaven?"
The imp made a face. "We all know that Mistress needs to get out of there, but she is still in denial. Don't worry, though! She protects me!… As much as she can…"
"… I see. Well, if you ever do need help, I'm sure that I – I mean, my great and powerful ancestor – can help," Giff promised. "By the way, I don't believe I got your name?"
"Oh, I'm Courtney!" the imp said cheerfully, pointing to a tag on her collar. "It says so right here! At least I think it does, I can't read."
Giff examined the tag. It did indeed say COURTNEY.
"I will remember that name," he promised. "Now, if you excuse me, I should go in-"
"Wait, before you go, can you please take the stupid cone off?" Courtney pleaded.
"Why are you wearing it in the first place?" Giff inquired.
"It's supposed to keep me from scratching at the stitches they used to close up the wound I got when Mistress's boyfriend tried to sever my jugular when I tried to stop him from beating Mistress when she whispered too loudly while he had a hangover," Courtney said matter-of-factly.
Giff stared at her. "I really do think you both need to get out of hell."
Courtney sighed and started scratching again. "You and me both, pal."
Giff frowned. "On another note, would you happen to know why there is an unusually high level of evil inside the school?"
"Oh, you sense it too?" Courtney asked. "Yeah, no, I have no idea what it is. It's not demonic in nature, that's for sure. I had nothing to do with it, and neither did Mistress. Whatever it is it scares the shit out of me. Uh, literally, I'm not exactly potty-trained. Why would you shit where you drink, right? Anyway, be careful."
"I will be," Giff promised.
"So, about the cone…" she asked hopefully, giving him surprisingly adorable eyes.
Unfortunately for her, Lovekov was far cuter. "No."
"Awww."
"Oh, so you must be the Lord Giff – I mean, Cousin Giffrey I've heard so much about!"
Lovekov's teacher, a woman named Nana Takayama, greeted Giff as he entered Lovekov's classroom. The man at the front desk had told him to head there as soon as he entered the building. He was a little disappointed to see that the classroom was empty, but all the kids were at lunch now, and he supposed it would be more of a fun surprise if she didn't know he was coming.
"All good things, I hope?" he asked, examining the classrooms. It was your standard elementary school classroom – or at least, what he'd gathered was a standard elementary school classroom, since this was the first time he had ever set foot in one – with several rows of desks with bookbags neatly left in the seats, covered with stickers and scribbles which personalized them and made it clear who sat where. It didn't take long for Giff to identify Lovekov's desk, seeing as how it was the one covered in the most hearts and flowers and doodles of her family. Cozy little cubbies had their personal belongings carefully placed in them. Posters and dioramas of the periodic table, the solar system, the multiple extinction events which wiped out the dinosaurs, and famous heroes who were also academics lined the wall along with numerous watercolors and crayon drawings of impressive quality, all of which were fully colored inside the lines, something even Giff had difficulty with. Behind the teacher's desk was a large whiteboard with a complex quantum physics equation written on it, and Giff was pleased to see that it had been solved correctly. Truly these children received proper education.
Nana nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, indeed! She has had nothing but glowing remarks to say of every member of her family, except for her uncle Daiji."
"Yes, we are all rather worried about him," Giff said sympathetically. "She has spoken highly of you as well, Ms. Takayama, though she never mentioned you were a…" He frowned, looking at her carefully. "I'm very sorry, I don't need to be rude, but I don't believe I'm familiar with your species. Are you an Inves?"
"No, but some of their DNA was used in the creation of my species," Nana exclaimed, nodding her bulbous white head which vaguely resembled a pawn chess piece. "I'm a Jyamato. My kind was created to serve as an antagonistic force in a reality show called the Desire Grand Prix which the players would have to overcome to make their greatest desires come true."
"I don't believe I've heard of this reality show, where can I watch it?" A curious Giff asked.
"I'm sorry, but it's only for a very exclusive audience, you wouldn't be able to see it," Nana said apologetically.
Was that so? Well, he didn't intend to let that deter him for long. He made a mental note to ask Akaishi what he knew about this show later. "If you're supposed to be in this game, why are you here at this school?" He inquired.
"Well, for my kind, 'you are what you eat' has a bit more of literal meaning," Nana explained. "The fertilizer used to grow me came from a teacher, and I inherited a lot more of her memories than the rest of my batch, enough so that I decided that I would rather teach the next generation of children rather than participate in a violent, insipid reality show."
"Perfectly understandable."
"Of course, management wasn't happy about that, and I would've been… Shall we say, 'canceled,' but thankfully the Gardener fought for me, and a sizable portion of the audience found my story inspiring, so they agreed to give me a spin off," Nana said, nodding at a large floating eye-shaped device hovering in a corner of the ceiling. "Which is why there's a camera."
"I was wondering about that," Giff remarked.
"IGNORE US," dozens of voices shouted from the camera.
"So long as I keep entertaining the viewers and engaging with my students on a meaningful level, my continued existence is assured," Nana continued. "It's… Not ideal, I'll admit, having the sword of Damocles constantly over my head, but at least I'm able to fulfill my dream of teaching and inspiring so many wonderful children to believe in themselves and seize their futures. And it's certainly a better deal than most of my kind get, though the Gardener's trying to change that."
"A noble goal," Giff said approvingly. "Is your principal aware of all this? He has no problem with so many mysterious, unseen viewers spying on your students?"
"Thanks to a very sizable grant from the Kurama Conglomerate, he's perfectly happy to look the other way," Nana said, a hint of disgust in her voice. "I suppose I should be more upset about that, but considering this means I have the final say in how I run my classroom, every resource I could possibly want to give my students the best education I can is available to me, and the teachers in the school get paid a decent salary, I guess I can't complain. And… It's not, it's not like they're voyeurs," she insisted a little desperately. "There are no cameras outside the school, and none in any of the bathrooms."
"Well, that's good to know," Giff said genuinely.
"In any event, I'm going to need you to sign an NDA now that you know about me and the DGP," Nana said, opening her hand and causing a holographic projection to appear in the air displaying a complex document covered in tightly written text. "I'm not supposed to exist, and the general public isn't supposed to know about me or the DGP, so…"
"I understand," Giff assured her, carefully reading the contract. "But can't you disguise yourself as a human? Many nonhuman species can."
"I can," Nana agreed. "But I refuse to. One of the virtues I try to instill in my students is that they should never have to conform to fit in with the rest of society, especially if it means denying who they really are. Most of them can't pass for human without using some sort of disguise or transformation, and having to pretend to be something, someone else your entire life can be stifling and cause irreparable psychological harm. It is my policy that none of my students should have to wear a disguise in class or in school. They deserve to be proud of their true nature, and even if society or their fellow students or – Gardener forgive, their parents – demand they must wear a mask or put on a different face, they should be strong enough to stand up and say 'No, this is who I am, I refuse to change to fulfill your expectations. I'm proud to be myself, and I will never be anything else.'"
Giff hesitated, feeling a moment of guilt. Wasn't he doing the exact opposite right now? What sort of example was he setting? "That is… A good lesson," he said finally, finishing his perusal of the contract. It was fairly airtight, but he already saw a loophole.
Extending a digit, he wrote "Giffrey Igarashi" on the bottom line and stamped it with his personal stamp. Cousin Giffrey might have to hold his tongue about what he saw here today, but the demon king Giff certainly didn't!
"Thank you very much, Mr. Igarashi," Nana said as the hologram went out. "Now, we're still on break, so if it's all right with you I'd like to put you in the lounge where the rest of the family members are waiting. This will give you a chance to mingle and get to know each other to pass the time until class resumes, and we can bring you all in. I believe you already know one of them, Mrs. Izu Hiden?"
Giff nodded. "Yes, I'm her daughter's godfather. It's always good to catch up with her, we've both done a lot for each other's families."
"So I've heard," Nana said.
"By the way," Giff asked as she led him out of the classroom. "Would you happen to know why there is an unusually high concentration of evil energy permeating the school?"
Nana winced at this as they headed down the hall. "Ah. Yes. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you managed to sense it. There is a very reasonable explanation, and he's not here to cause any harm, so just… Keep an open mind, okay?"
"Why do I need to-" Giff started to ask, only to be interrupted when Nana stopped at a door and opened it, revealing a surprisingly luxurious teachers' lounge with carpeted floors, soft couches, up-to-date computers, a top-of-the-line kitchenette set up, and a coffee machine that looked as if it could double for a rocket engine. Nearly a dozen individuals, some of whom could pass for humans, had been seated around a coffee table having a conversation and glanced up as they entered.
"Everyone, there's been a slight change of plans," Nana announced. "None of the other members of the Igarashi family were available – family crisis, nothing to worry yourselves about – so instead today we will be hosting Cousin Giffrey, who is absolutely not Lord Giff. Everybody, please say hello to Giffrey."
"Hello, Giffrey," almost everyone in the room said, looks on their faces.
Giffrey didn't care about that. He didn't even notice the others, barely even Izu, so focused was he on a sinister figure slouching in a vibrating recliner.
A member of the Blood Tribe.
Oh, he thought faintly. That would explain all the evil I sensed.
He would have to play this very carefully. The Blood, after all, were among the most powerful and feared species in the universe and would be a difficult challenge even for him. A battle between the two of them would almost certainly destroy the school and kill everyone in it, and he did not want Lovekov – and to a lesser extent, Izu – to be harmed. This would take every last ounce of his restraint and wit.
"You! Blood! What are you doing here?!" Giff demanded, pointing dramatically at the cosmic horror.
"I might as well ask the same thing of you… Lord Giff," the Blood sneered.
Giff recoiled in horror. The Blood had seen through his disguise?! Well, he supposed he shouldn't be surprised, the powers and abilities possessed by the Blood Tribe were numerous and horrifying, uncanny perception was no doubt one of them.
This was bad, he'd outed him before the entire room! Now he would have to kill everyone here to protect his secret identity. He would blame it on the Blood, so Lovekov wouldn't get upset at him for killing the family of her classmates-
Wait, shit, Izu was here as well, and he couldn't possibly kill her. Well, technically he could, but not only was he hesitant to do so, he'd never get away with it, every HumaGear in the world would know the instant he killed her, which would get him kicked out of their pantheon, earn him the unending fury of Zea – and worse, Aruto – and if that weren't bad enough, his new goddaughter would never forgive him.
He would have to think of something else, and quickly-
"Evolt," a beautiful young woman with red skin and long dark hair wearing red, white, and gold robes covered in alien script and a gold bangle on her wrist with a horrifyingly familiar mark on it grumbled as she sat up from the couch she'd been lying on, removing a sleeping mask to reveal bloodshot green eyes. "Are you trying to cause trouble?"
"No," the Blood said a little too quickly. "Just having a little fun."
"That's very good," the woman, who sounded exhausted and on the brink of violence, said plainly. "Because if you were going to cause trouble, I would have to get my mother involved, and none of us want that, now do we?"
"I'll be good…" The Blood grumbled unhappily, snarling when some of the other people in the room smirked and laughed at him.
"Wonderful," the woman said, before turning her gaze on Giff, who tensed up. Those eyes… No, it couldn't be… But the robes, the markings, the energy he'd been sensing… "And will you be giving us any trouble, Giff?"
"No," Giff said quickly, seeing no point in protesting his identity. "You… Are you who I think you are?"
"Yes and no," the woman said, yawning and rubbing some sleep out of her eyes. "The name's Misora, adopted daughter of Vernage, Queen of Mars, and heir to the Crimson Throne."
Shit.
"And has your mother… Told you anything about me?" He asked anxiously.
"She says you're still banned from setting foot on the red planet," Misora said bluntly.
"Oh come on, she can't still be angry about that!" Giff protested. "It was an accident!"
"You nearly destroyed an entire hemisphere!"
"Which was instantly fixed! Nothing and nobody were permanently killed," Giff whined.
Evolt burst into laughter. "So you're in the Red Queen's bad books too? Ha! Join the club! Maybe we should be friends."
"Absolutely not!" Giff retorted seriously. "You and I have nothing in common!"
"We've both destroyed countless planets and civilizations," Evolt pointed out.
"Fewer than you," Giff protested lamely, admitting to himself it wasn't that good a defense. "Why are you even here anyway? Shouldn't you be off in space devouring a galaxy or two?"
"I've got nothing going on this weekend, I'll probably do it then," Evolt said breezily. "I'm here for my goddaughter since none of her parents could make it. Emergency in the Game World. They might actually get full membership in the Super Smash Brothers this time!"
Giff was taken back at this. "Your goddaughter?"
"Yes, Pico," Izu spoke up. "The daughter of Emu Hojo and Poppy Pipopapo? My daughter's intended?"
"He's her godfather?!" Giff asked in astonishment.
"You're Hazu's," Izu pointed out, and Giff unhappily realized he had nothing to say about that. Curses, he and Evolt really did have more in common than he thought.
"Hey, since my goddaughter is going to marry your goddaughter someday, that makes us practically family!" Evolt jeered, spreading his arms. "Give your Godbrother in law a hug!"
"I will do no such thing," Giff said sternly.
One of the other creatures in the room gasped. "You can't leave a guy hanging like that!" She cried in disbelief. The woman, a very beautiful pink Pythonian with a pink T-shirt, black jacket, skirt, pink thigh-high socks, and boots proceeded to wrap herself around Evolt, hugging him tightly.
"Wait, no, I didn't actually want a hug-" he protested.
"Too late!" the serpent sang. "Also, hi, I'm Slavi!" The Pythonian introduced herself to Giff. "I'm here for my little sister Hislava. Also, I'm super happy to meet you, my girlfriend won't stop talking about how you saved her soul from the Ark! Thanks for that!"
"Your girlfriend… Oh! Your Azu's girlfriend, correct?" Giff realized. "I've heard about you!"
Slavi nodded rapidly. "Yes! I love my love butter very much, so thank you so much for saving her soul! Otherwise, I don't think we would have ever met, and wouldn't that be a shame?"
It would indeed. "Well, since I suppose I can't kill you all and blame it on Evolt-"
"I'm sorry what-" a woman in a lab coat stammered.
"I must respectfully ask you to please not tell anyone outside this room my true identity," Giff pleaded, going into dogeza stance. "I have grown very fond of being Cousin Giffrey, and do not wish to lose him."
"You… Wait, are you seriously telling me you think anyone actually falls for your disguise-" a man wearing a soldier's outfit protested.
"Don't worry! Your secret is safe with us!" Said a bat-themed monster with neutral brown fur, lighter brown fur around the chest, muzzle, stomach and stomach. She had a round face with a small heart-shaped nose hidden behind a Groucho Marx nose and glasses. Her mouth was full of fangs with a single fang sticking out as a sort of kitty tooth. Her amber eyes seemed to twinkle with mischief and joy, and curly/frizzled hair in pastel colors like lime green, cyan and bubblegum pink exploded out from her head.
She was wearing black and red clothing consisting of long gloves without fingers, a top that showed cleavage and her stomach, a cute shirt and long boots. She had a short pointy tail and a pair of black wings on her back. She was wearing a light yellow/beige scarf and she had a small safe located in between her mammaries which was only visible around the right angle, which, unfortunately (?) for Giff, he was presently in.
"After all," she said, dramatically taking off her glasses. "You're not the only one who has to hide who they really are sometimes!"
Giff gasped in disbelief. "You are a Gangler! Incredible! I had no idea."
"You had no… Are you fucking kidding me," Evolt said incredulously.
"Did you just… Not notice the safe between her boots?" A woman radiating demonic energy asked in disbelief.
"I have no idea what people today find fashionable, I assumed it was some sort of accessory," Giff confessed.
"Hi, my name is Jinxerbat Desmodia!" The Gangler said cheerfully, extending a hand. "But everyone calls me Jinx! Want to rub your face in my boobies?"
"No thank you," he said politely, much to her disappointment. "Which child is yours?"
"Nom-Nom!" Jinx said cheerfully, immediately bouncing back from his rejection. "She's our perfect little carnivorous man-eating Angel! One of my wives tried to create a perfect child incorporating all of our DNA in her lab, but then my other wife accidentally poured the solution into a potted plant and we got Nom Nom instead, and decided she was perfect as she was."
"Not as perfect as my own daughter, of course," bragged an imposing being resembling a mosquito, with blood red stained glass wings, upside down cherub heads on his shoulders and knees, a pair of false arms crossed over his chest, which was also covered in red stained glass, a red and black waist cape, fingers resembling glass syringes, and a head resembling a plague doctor's mask with a very long nose, stained glass compound eyes, upside down Angel wings framing his head, and what looked like a bishop's miter growing from the top of his cranium. "Although I will fully admit I may be biased in that statement."
The woman in the lab coat nodded. She was quite beautiful, with an athletic figure in a very form hugging red and black leotard laced with circuit patterns beneath a flowing red and black spotted lab coat with a pin resembling a ladybug, another one for Heavenly Saint Stargel, and a third in stripes Giff had been informed signified lesbianism. She had lustrous blue-black hair in two pigtails down to her waist, headphones resembling ladybugs, a transparent high-tech red visor over her eyes, and two forelocks resembling antenna. "Like all good parents, we each believe our own child is the best." She smirked. "Of course, I'm the only one that's right."
"And your child is…?" Giff inquired.
"Mugu. My wife and I adopted her, but we couldn't adore her any more than if she were our own flesh and blood," the woman said happily. She extended her hand. "Professor Nushi Cheng, by the way. Nobel award-winning entomologist, geneticist, cyberneticist, and several other -ists. Also lucky enough to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and I'm totally not biased when I say that."
There were a few grumbles from the others, though the soldier defensively said, "My Kari is pretty beautiful…"
"Mugu… Oh! The young warrior woman!" Giff realized, shaking Nushi's hand.
Nushi gave him a confused look. "Warrior woman?"
"Yes, Lovekov told me she's a… What are they called again, they have a delivery service in the rain forest now… Amazons! Yes, that's right!" Giff exclaimed.
Everyone stared at him. Evolt burst into laughter for some reason.
"That's… Mugu is a Squirrel Amazon," Nushi tried to explain.
"Oh, they let squirrels in now? How progressive," Giff remarked.
"No, she's… She's an Amazon, as in the species of man eating formally human creatures," Nushi explained, looking a little exasperated. "Not that she does that, of course, she's vegetarian."
"Oh. So… She is not a warrior woman in training?" Giff asked in disappointment.
"Well, we'll teach her how to fight at some point, but no," Nushi informed him.
"Is she at least from the jungle?" Giff pleaded.
"She was grown in a lab."
"In the jungle?"
"No, in the city."
"Oh." Giff pouted. "And not by a delivery company?"
"Also no."
Drat.
"My daughter, on the other hand," the mosquito man said proudly. "Is a member of the Fangire peerage! My beloved Sunlight Reflecting Off of a Babbling Brook After the Rainbow, though she goes by Neycombe among commoners. You may call me Gunshot the Darkness Before the Dawn the Mad Monk in a Spaghetti Toupee and a Right Foot Sandal Paired With a Sock Stuff With a Mushroom and Thrown Into the Zoo River at the Wedding of the Bloody Chastity Belt and the Porcelain Transgender Garden Gnome."
Giff stared at him.
The mosquito sighed. "Though you may also call me the Bishop Fangire if you wish, as that is my rank in the Checkmate Four, the governing body of the Fangires."
"Okay."
"Neycombe is not only incredibly popular among the mortals and has discovered a way to feed off their life force using social media, but has also graciously invited a wastrel of a Worm she discovered digging through our trash into our home and made her her best friend/girlfriend/live in servant in an incredibly generous display of noblesse oblige," the Bishop bragged.
"Well my daughter has been more than fine with sharing her room with the crown princess of the Hive who got stranded on our world by accident and needs to stay with us until her mother can come pick her up," Nushi shot back. "And she hasn't made her into a servant!"
"You have made contact with the Hive?" Giff asked in astonishment. Even he had never made it to Hive space and was lucky enough to run into a few outposts and colonies over the years.
"I visited one of their galaxies once. Those bugs fried real good," Evolt cackled. Slavi frowned at him and unwound herself from him. "Hey, where are you going?"
"I thought you said you didn't want a hug," she said curtly.
"I do!" Jinx exclaimed. "Also can I rub my face in your boobies?"
"Sure!" Slavi said readily enough, spreading her arms. Jinx tackled her hard enough to nearly knock her over and did indeed start motorboating her.
"Should…we let something like this happen inside a school?" the disturbed and as-yet unnamed soldier asked.
Evolt burst into laughter. "Please, I can guarantee way worse has been done in this lounge."
"Unfortunately, he is correct," Nana wearily confirmed.
Nushi nodded. "During an accident with an Einstein-Rosen bridge, Princess Philia was transported here from her home on Hive Prime. Her mother is already on her way to bring her back, but since the Hive is on the other side of the universe from us, it's going to be a while before they get here, even traveling at top speed."
"That is unfortunate," Giff said sympathetically.
"You know, I know a way I could get her home faster-" Evolt said innocently.
"Evolt, if you think we're letting you anywhere near the Pandora Box again, you're as dumb as Ryuga," Misora said harshly.
"Hey, I'm the only one who can call my idiot son a moron!" Evolt complained.
"At least she's enjoying herself, and learning about magic from my wife," Nushi said optimistically. "And apparently her older sister has also been notified, and she might be closer to us? I know she can't stay here but it's nice having her for however long we can shelter her."
"It is rather nice having Veila around," the Bishop admitted wistfully. "She is perhaps my daughter's first true friend."
"It was quite noble of your daughter to take her under her wings. My own beloved children, Kyuko and Nyaria, did the same for darling Usa during our...unfortunately long separation," commented possibly the most beautiful woman in the room, a drop-dead gorgeous fox woman clad in an exquisite kimono depicting the famous "Kitsune no Yomeiri-zu" by Hokusai Katsuhika which did nothing to hide her generous curves or sizable chest. She had gold and white fur covered in red ornate markings with very long hair split into nine tails fanning out around her, with nine actual tails glowing with supernatural power swishing behind her. Taking a sip from a cup of tea, she offered Giff a nod of acknowledgement. "Kyuubi no Okami. I am a Youkai goddess with millennia of wealth and experience who secretly controls a good portion of the world, including a certain rather...controversial news network in America. I'm sure you can figure out which one."
"CNN?" Giff asked.
For some reason she burst into laughter at this.
"Well, if we're bragging about kids, then I think I'm the winner, seeing as how I have four," the soldier boasted.
"By another metric, that actually makes you the loser," Evolt jeered. "And if I remember right, aren't only three of them yours?"
"Mira is my daughter in every way that matters!" The soldier snapped.
"Well said. And you are…?" Giff asked, extending a hand.
The man didn't take it. He wore a dark blue military outfit with white gloves, gold epaulets, a red tie, and several badges over his left breast. He looked at Giff with cold hostility. "Captain Goro Aori of the JSDF, head of the elite Katsutoshi Squad, with a 100% mission success rate."
"My, that's impressive!" An amazed Giff remarked. He waggled his hand. "So, are you going to shake, or…?"
"I don't shake hands with the enemy," Goro said coldly.
"Enemy? I'm not the enemy. I'm here to help! Also, I have ceased my more aggressive measures for the time being," Giff pointed out.
"When you first arrived, you killed hundreds of people, many of which were my friends, and the minions in the following weeks hurt even more," Goro said angrily. "The only reason I'm leader of Katsutoshi instead of second-in-command is because the former Captain, my mentor, is still in the hospital after he got wounded by one of your Gifftarians while trying to protect a family of refugees."
"Oh," Giff said awkwardly. "I am… Sorry? I'm trying not to do that anymore?"
"That's not going to cut it," Goro said, glaring at him. "It never does."
He brushed past Giff, shoving him as he headed for the door. "Mr. Aori, wait-" Nana protested.
"Don't worry, I'll be back in time for class," Goro said curtly. "I just can't be in the same room as him right now. It's bad enough I have to be in the same place as Evolt, I can't deal with Giff as well."
"Hey, what did I do?" Evolt protested. Then he laughed. "Ha, just kidding, whatever it was I don't regret it and would totally do it again."
Goro left. Giff stared after him forlornly, hand still extended.
And then, to his surprise, Izu took it. "Please forgive Mr. Aori. He has a great many reasons to be angry with you."
"Most of them accurate," Giff said glumly.
Izu nodded. "Yes, but at least you are trying to make amends in your own way. And even if he never forgives you – nor is he obligated to, of course – I, for one, will always welcome you here."
"I mean, we tolerate this asshole, I suppose you're not as bad in comparison," Nushi joked, nodding at Evolt.
"Yes! Still the worst!" Evolt cheered, pumping his arm.
"Would you like a hug?" Slavi asked kindly.
"Yes, I think I rather would," Giff admitted.
Slavi hugged him.
She was very warm.
"And hey, don't feel too bad about all the shit you've done in the past. We are all guilty of something, right?" Commented an incredibly beautiful woman with a sinful figure wearing a black leather jacket studded with spikes, very tight pants, hard spiked boots made for stomping, and a very low-cut T-shirt of a death metal band. She had black feathery wings and a white pointed tail, and her hair was short, black, and choppy.
"You are… Lilim, yes? The fallen angel?" Giff immediately identified her.
She nodded. "Yep. Guess you met Courtney outside?"
"I did. She is quite worried about you, and from what she said your current living situation is untenable-" Giff started.
"That's none of your business," Lilim snapped, eyes darkening. "And it's not her place to go blabbing about it either. Everything is fine."
"Really? Because it doesn't sound fine-" Giff said skeptically.
"You're not even from here, you don't have any idea how things work for demons on this planet," Lilim insisted. "Everything's fine. This is how things are supposed to be. Barbatos and I are very happy together, and I don't need you or my mom or my sisters constantly poking their noses where they don't belong and telling me the last several thousand years of my life have been a complete mistake!"
"I… Didn't say anything about any of that," Giff said, confused. "But from what Courtney said, it doesn't sound like your current lifestyle is safe for either of you. As a pet owner, aren't you responsible for the safety and well-being of your imp, meaning you should consider whether your actions and the actions of those around you are in either of your best interests?"
Lilim glared at him hatefully. "You know, when my sister talked about you, she never said you were the sort of asshole who sticks his nose into things he doesn't understand because he thinks he knows so much better than everyone else."
"If I hadn't stuck my nose into things I wasn't involved with, your sister's paramour might still be trapped in the Pythonian Quarter or worse, Azu might still be imprisoned deep beneath Hiden Intelligence or once again a slave of the Ark, and Slavi might not have a girlfriend," Giff pointed out.
"The worst fate of all!" Jinx exclaimed, Slavi nodding vigorously.
"My oldest grandson has been called on more than one occasion the biggest busybody in Japan. If he got it from me, I can only be flattered, since it is another thing I have in common with my family," Giff said proudly. "Is denial something that runs in yours?"
Lilim clenched a fist, the temperature in the room rising exponentially…
"… Fuck you. I'm out," she spat, storming past him, shoving into him much harder than Goro had, leaving flaming footsteps in her wake.
"Lilim, wait-" Nana protested.
"I'll be back in time for class!" Lilim shouted as she went to the hall. "If you excuse me, I've got a pet to discipline for not knowing when to shut her big fat mouth."
Kyuubi sighed and shook her head in disappointment. "That poor girl..."
"Did I say something wrong?" Giff asked in concern. "I was only trying to help."
"Which is admirable, but this is a very complicated situation," Izu said sympathetically.
"We've all tried to talk to her about this at one point or another," the Bishop admitted.
"I can understand where she's coming from. I had a bad boyfriend a while back, and I also was in denial about how awful he was," Nushi confessed. "I eventually realized for myself just how bad the situation was, and it was nearly too late at that point. At this point, all we can do is hope she realizes the truth before something happens that can't be taken back."
"I had to rescue my own wife from a similar situation once," Kyuubi said darkly. "And they call us monsters?"
"Hope Courtney doesn't get killed," Evolt said. Everyone stood him in astonishment. "What? She's got the kind of ingrained bloodlust and love of killing things I can respect. Even if she did try humping my leg multiple times."
"Which is the most he's gotten in eons," Misora joked.
"Not true! I slept with both of my son's parents on several occasions before I murdered them," Evolt declared proudly. "Also did it after I killed them because I'm a sick, twisted monster and proud of it."
Everyone made disgusted noises at this.
Nana sighed. "I don't suppose anyone else wants to take a breather before class resumes?"
"No, I think I'm comfortable here."
"Me too."
Giff immediately zeroed in on the last two parents in the room, who so far had been content to remain in the background. One was a Rainian woman with a dome-shaped capsule over her head, very short ears, and two eyes. Her wings/cloak were folded around her reminiscent of an umbrella, in purple and orange stripes which hid most of her body. The other was a strange creature whose entire body was colored multiple shades of blue who looked like she was wearing an organic ball gown, a vaguely jellyfish-eqsue floor-length skirt open at the front to expose her shapely legs, clad in natural high heels which almost looked like they were made from sparkling blue glass. She had an hourglass figure with a notable bust framed by little tendrils, sphere-shaped shoulders with similar tendrils wrapping around her arms, hanging down to form the equivalent of long fabric sleeves. A beautiful silver sapphire necklace hung around her neck, and clear blue wings which looked like they were a cross between a mayfly and an angel grew from her back. A blue heart-shaped Buckle was set on her waist. She had no nose or mouth, but her features were vaguely angelic, with lovely almond-shaped glowing blue eyes and a blue gem set into her forehead. She was also holding what looked an awful lot like a magic wand with a blue star at the tip.
Like most of the other mothers in the room, they were both, as the modern generation called them, "MILFs." "And you are…?"
"Rainian Parasoleil, or Soleil for short," the Rainian introduced herself. "I renounced crime and came to Earth to raise my child Rayco with the earthling I love. I run a business repairing mecha – legal mecha – and selling spare parts. Also, Rayco's pronouns are they/them."
"I'll be sure to remember that," Giff promised.
"And I am-" the blue creature started.
"Mamataros!" Jinx and Slavi shouted.
"ASAGI! My name is Asagi!" The blue girl snapped.
"Your son calls you Mamataros," an amused Bishop pointed out.
"That's because he's a stupid idiot child who doesn't know better. And he's not my son, he's just some dumb brat who tricked me into granting his wish for a new mother, which is why I look like this," Asagi grumbled, gesturing at her body.
"You don't like looking with that?" Giff asked in confusion.
"No, I do," Asagi admitted.
"Then where's the problem?" He queried, still not getting it.
"There is no problem, she's still in denial about how much she adores Masaki," Parasoleil explained.
"And his father," Izu added.
Almost everyone in the room went "OOOOOH!" At that, while Asagi turned purple.
"Shut up! That's not true!" She protested.
"Then you didn't cry when Masaki gave you that picture of you and his father holding hands with him?" Nushi asked.
"Of course I cried! Because it was so awful!" Asagi protested, obviously lying. "And I had sand in my eyes! Because I'm an Imagin, and we're made of it!"
"I do not like sand," the Bishop sniffed. "It's course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
"Huh, I wouldn't have thought you'd seen that movie," Slavi exclaimed in surprise.
"Movie?" He asked in confusion.
Kyuubi tutted and took another sip. "Asagi, you should be honest about your feelings towards your son. You never know how much time you really have with the ones you love...I was lucky to get mine back, but not everyone is so fortunate."
"What happened to them?" Giff asked, curious.
"Long story. Not one I care to think about," the kitsune muttered.
"So! Giff! You're some sort of space demon, right?" Asagi asked, desperate to change the subject.
"That is one way of looking at it, yes," he confirmed.
"Which means you must have seen a lot of things out there in space! Got any interesting stories?" She pleaded.
Nushi's eyes lit up. "Ooh, yes! I'd love to hear about the places you've been and the things you've done!"
"Hey, I've seen and done tons of things in space too! Why hasn't anyone asked me about it?" Evolt complained.
"Because everywhere you've ever been, you've destroyed," Misora pointed out.
"And I'd do it again!" He bragged.
"You… Wish to learn from me?" Giff asked, surprised.
Most of the people in the room nodded, either out of curiosity or genuine interest, aside from an annoyed Evolt, Misora, who had fallen asleep again, and Jinx and Slavi, who were stripping off their clothes and were about to do it on the kitchenette floor, which he was fairly certain wasn't a very sanitary surface.
Nana took one look at them, grunted, and stepped over their writhing bodies to use the coffee machine.
He glanced at Izu, who gave him an encouraging nod.
Emboldened, he cleared his throat. "Well, who wants to hear the true nature of Jupiter's Red Spot, and why we must never, ever go there?"
"Okay, everyone," George's voice echoed through the hold over the plane's PA. "Good news! We've just about reached Area 666!"
A ragged cheer rang up from the passengers. George was not a very good pilot, and they soon realized that Tamaki, who was still asleep, might've had the right idea after all.
"Bad news: there is an omega level disintegration field covering the space directly above Area 666."
Everyone stopped cheering.
Tamaki kept snoring.
"Worse news: they're shooting at us."
The plane started rocking violently as explosions went off just outside the vehicle.
Everyone screamed.
Tamaki kept snoring.
"We need to bail immediately!" The terrified Ryu cried.
"Oh yeah, by the way, I'm the only one who has a parachute," George added.
Everyone stared at the cockpit.
"WHY?!" They all shouted.
Tamaki kept snoring.
"Because I had a really really cool idea for a big entrance! Which… We can still carry out!" George insisted. "From the readings I'm getting, this is the same kind of force field that was protecting the Black Satan base Sakura and the Tackle Brigade attacked, meaning we can disable it the same way!"
Sakura's eyes widened in horror. "Wait… He can't mean-"
"Which is why I recommend all of you get to the back of the plane immediately, open the cargo bay door, and be ready to jump when I give the signal," George said.
Everyone exchanged very dismayed looks.
"So… Is anyone else in favor of beating up George and stealing his parachute?" Vice suggested.
"That would only save one or two of us, what about everyone else?" Ikki protested.
"Survival of the fittest," Vail said dismissively, Vice eagerly nodding in agreement.
"I can fly," Astarte reminded them, buzzing her wings.
"So can I," Hana added.
"I will allow one of you to take the parachute instead, I'm more expendable than you all," Hiromi insisted.
"No! None of us are going to sacrifice themselves-" Ikki insisted.
"What are you all doing?!" George, wearing a parachute and flight goggles, demanded as he emerged from the cockpit. "I told you get to the back of the plane, we're about to hit-"
The plane slammed into the side of the force field and exploded. The energy shield flickered a few times and dissipated, conveniently just before a flock of geese were about to crash into it and die horribly.
Fortunately, everyone on the plane survived.
Unfortunately, they were all now plummeting to their deaths.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They all screamed.
Tamaki kept snoring.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Vice screamed, clinging to Ikki.
"Boys, transform!" Genta shouted, falling next to them. "Our suits can take the impact!"
"Yes, that was my plan the whole time!" George, falling on their other side, shouted. "Also it would look hella dope!"
"Well, he's got us there," Hana admitted.
Ampaz bit Tamaki, causing him to wake up with a shout. "AAAHH! Are we there yet?"
Then he looked down at the ruined compound below them.
He screamed, threw up, and screamed again.
"Tamaki! Transform!" His girlfriend shouted at him. "Otherwise we'll both die!"
"R-right! I guess it's time to try out my new form," he said, producing a Vistamp.
Everyone quickly primed their Drivers. "I think we can do this!" Ikki shouted.
"HENSHIN!" The Igarashi family – and associates – shouted.
COME ON! ULTIMATE UP! OVERFLOWING HOT PASSION! WHAT IN THE DEVIL? THE TWO OF US ARE EQUAL! THE UNIVERSE'S POWER IS ETERNAL! KAMEN RIDER! REVI! VICE! LET'S GO! COME ON! GIFFA! GIFFA! GIFFARD REX!
DECIDE UP! DEEP. DROP. DANGER. KAMEN. RIDER. DEMONS!
LIBERAL UP! AH~ GOING MY WAY! KAMEN RIDER JA-JA-JA-JEANNE!
SUBJUGATE UP! OOOOOHHHH! BELIEVE IN HER! KAMEN RIDER! K-K-K-K-KILLER QUEEN! AH! AH! AGUILERA!
DELETE UP! UNKNOWN. UNREST. UNLIMITED. KAMEN RIDER GET OVER DEMONS!
SPIRIT UP! SLASH! STING! SPIRAL! STRONG! KAMEN RIDER DESTREAM!
BLACKOUT! CRIMSON UP! CRIMSON VAIL!
SCRAMBLE! KING CRAB! CROCODILE! KAMEN RIDER CHIMERA! CHIMERA!
"So cool," George gasped in awe, making sure to film everything on his phone.
"Aren't you going to transform as well?" Astarte asked, hovering beside him. "Your father gave you a Driver, didn't he?"
George hesitated. "He… Did, yes."
"Then why haven't you used it?" She inquired.
"Selfish pride, I suppose," he admitted. "I don't want to admit that, despite everything, I still need my daddy. That I… Want to need him."
"For all his flaws, George, your father does love you," Astarte pointed out. "Is refusing to transform out of spite worth risking your life, powerless, in the battles to come? Do you truly wish to be no more than a protectorate, rather than a fighter in your own right? I always thought that you wanted to be a Kamen Rider yourself. Was I mistaken?"
"… No. You weren't," George grudgingly admitted. "Damn. I guess I really am going to have to talk to my daddy when this is over…" He grumbled, strapping on the device his father had given him, which resembled the Chimera Driver except it had a triangular generator set into a gold plate on the right side.
JUUGA DRIVER!
George produced a black and gold Vistamp covered in animals. "Guess we're doing this… Come on, daddy! HENSHIN!"
JUUGA! SCRAMBLE! TEN GENOMES IN TOW WITH ONE COCKY AMBITION! BURST OUT! HOWL UP! TRANSCEND ABOVE! KAMEN RIDER JUUGA! GO OVER.
Moments later, the Igarashi family (and associates) impacted in the center of Area 666, creating craters shaped like their Genomic Stampers in the ground, causing the surrounding buildings, already hanging on by a thread, to give up the ghost and collapse completely.
As the dust settled, the Kamen Riders – and Ampaz and Astarte – dramatically rose to their feet.
Ultimate Revi and Ultimate Vice.
Demons.
Jeanne.
Queen Aguilera.
Get Over Demons.
Destream.
Crimson Vail. (Okay, I guess he's not actually a Rider.)
Chimera.
And now introducing… Juuga!
"This…is the greatest day of my life," George said in disbelief, examining his black and gold suit covered in animal motifs. He felt powerful. "GODDAMN!" Thanks, Daddy.
"Whoa! Looking good, Kari-Chan!" Vice whistled.
"I wouldn't mind going out for parfaits with him sometime," Hiromi murmured a little louder than he intended.
"Ha! He's finally a Rider! And he actually looks kind of good. Not as good as you, of course, babe," Hana was quick to assure Sakura.
"Awww, you're sweet!" Sakura cooed.
"You look perfect to me," Ampaz told Tamaki.
"Thank you, but we both know he's still cooler than I am," Tamaki said humbly.
"Pythonian, why are you even here?" An annoyed Vail asked Ampaz. "You are not a member of any of your species' warrior castes. You're just a jeweler."
"That's right, I am a jeweler," Ampaz agreed, putting on several rings and slipping on a necklace. "Which means I specialize in all jewels, including…"
She crossed her arms and clenched her fists, and all the jewels set into her rings began to glow. "Magic ones."
"…Heh. Good enough, then," Vail chuckled in amusement.
"Dad, what's with this place? Something about it feels… Wrong," Ikki said nervously.
Vice nodded, cowering behind his partner. "Yeah, I'm getting the heebie-jeebies!"
"A lot of bad shit went down here, boys," Genta said, crouching down to touch the soil. It crumbled beneath his fingers.
"And not all of it by us," Vail added grimly.
"The land remembers. And not all this place's ghosts have been laid to rest," Astarte said solemnly.
"Heh. Guess we'll have to finish what daddy started and clean this place up once and for all," George decided. "Not a bad start for my first real mission as a Kamen Rider, huh?"
"I'd honestly rather something a bit less high-stakes?" Ryu said nervously. "Or at least not haunted?"
Hana shuddered. "Oh great, now I'm remembering the Daybreak Ruins we visited back in Hiden Land."
Sakura grimaced. "Oh Zea, thanks for reminding me about that. I'm glad grandpa Giff-"
"You mean you're glad that it mysteriously burned to the ground and it was nobody's fault whatsoever," Genta emphasized.
"Right, that."
"Huh? When did that happen?" Asked a confused Ikki.
Sakura frowned. "What are you talking about, Ikki? It happened during our recent trip to Hiden Land, remember?"
"Uhhh…"
"Of course he remembers!" Vice shouted loudly, getting his partner in a headlock. "It was just so traumatizing Ikki completely blocked out the memory! Isn't that right, Ikki?"
"R-right! Yeah!" He laughed nervously.
Sakura frowned for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah, that checks out."
Vice sighed in relief… And frowned. "Wait. Does anyone else feel that?" He asked nervously.
"You noticed? Good, maybe you're not a sorry excuse for a demon after all. We are surrounded," Vail said calmly.
"Chic's goons? Or… The locals?" Genta asked worriedly.
"I'm not entirely sure. A bit of both, I think," Vail admitted with a hint of uncertainty. "It's a little hard to tell in a place like this."
"… We can take them," a key he said. "We have to. For mom."
"For mom/Yukimi/Mrs. Igarashi!" Everyone agreed.
And so their first battle in Area 666 began, the first of many.
"Now where did I… Ah, here it is," Akaishi said triumphantly, pulling open a seemingly innocuous panel on the side of the massive metal walls encircling Area 666 to reveal a keypad.
"What is this?" Azuma asked.
"When the government sealed off Area 666 and pretended NOAH never existed, I made sure to install a backdoor that would allow me to get inside and retrieve any materials or samples I thought might be useful unnoticed," Akaishi explained, beginning to enter a sequence.
"Did you ever use it?" Daiji asked, glancing around to make sure no one had followed them.
Akaishi hesitated, a haunted look in his eyes. "Once. That was… More than enough."
He pressed the final key…
And got an error message.
"What?" He murmured, startled. "But that… That's not right, that's the passcode, I know it is-"
"It was the passcode. I changed it."
"Mr. Karizaki?" Daiji asked, startled, as George's father approached.
Akaishi gave the middle Igarashi sibling an annoyed look. "You didn't notice a dying old man in a getup like that following us? Really?"
Daiji flushed in embarrassment.
"Masumi… So this is what's become of you?" Akaishi murmured, dismayed.
"Don't pretend you care. We were never friends before, and even if we are not currently fighting, that doesn't mean we aren't enemies either," Masumi said coldly, entering a sequence into the keypad.
With a metallic grown like the howls of the damned – which might be appropriate, considering what this place was – a door slid open in front of them, a great deal of dust and rust falling off of it, causing Akaishi, Daichi, and Azuma to break into a coughing fit. "How-"
"I involved myself in the construction of this barrier from day one, to make sure the evil within, the evils we both helped create, never escaped to the outside world," Masumi said gravely. "I was well aware of the back door you installed, and after the absolute fiasco of your first and only expedition back, I changed the passcode to make sure you could never return if you had a change of heart." He then turned to Akaishi. "And so it seems you have… Though not perhaps for the reason I first imagined. Why are you here?"
"To help everyone save my mother," Daiji insisted.
Azuma nodded. "On our master's orders."
"But that is not the only reason you're here, is it?" Masumi intuited.
Akaishi shook his head. "No. I want to see this place destroyed for good this time. That's why you're here as well, isn't it?"
Masumi nodded. "It is. Even if somehow this fragile peace the Igarashi family has forged lasts, so long as this lasting remnant of our sins remains, we will never be free of the demons – both figurative and literal – of our past. For the future of the world and our children, we must bury this place once and for all."
Akaishi managed a faint smile. "I quite agree. Lead on, then."
The four of them filed into the passageway, entering darkness beyond measure.