Hi all! I am so sorry for the delay in updates; there have been multiple medical issues in our household.

This is part 1 of this chapter; with more to come soon.

TRIGGER WARNING/SPOILERS
TALK OF WOMEN'S REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH COMPLICATIONS, CANCER.

Note: This was inspired by both my own health struggles and struggles of my family members.

Barba's ears continued to ring as he felt himself sitting in the waiting room. 'We're losing her!' was on loop in his head and no matter how much he tried to drown the words out they just seemed to get louder. It felt like thirty minutes or hours had passed but he knew the truth that it had been maybe five. The scurrying of footsteps drew Rafael's attention; his eyes focused on the three people standing before him. Amanda was the first to make her way to Barba, sitting next to him and resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Any word?" she asked, her voice soft with concern.

Barba shook his head and shrugged, gesturing to the closed doors of the Emergency Room. "Last I heard she was still in there being worked on… it didn't sound good."

"Y'know, I don't get this." Kat interjected, sitting opposite Barba. "She was fine this morning; smiling, making jokes, running after a perp…" she sighed heavily. "Did they give any indication what it could- "

"Olivia Benson?" Kara called, keeping her eyes focused on the group that accompanied Rafael. She approached him first. "Mr. Barba, can you come with me please?" she asked, knowing that privacy was needed.

"Is she dead?" Rafael asked bluntly, his fist going to his mouth. "Just…be honest with me." Kara sat on the right of him, her hands resting on her knees. "She's gone, isn't she?"

"No, no!" Kara reassured. "Olivia is still with us, but we are faced with a dilemma. Do you know Olivia's blood type?"

Barba almost blinked at the question. "A Positive." He blinked again. "What is happening?" He almost demanded, fighting every urge in himself to not throw his hands up and begin to pace.

"Mr. Barba…" Kara's voice was firm. His eyes became focused. "The reason I ask is because there was quite a lot of blood loss that Olivia experienced, and we need to replace it."

Rafael thought he was in a tornado his head was spinning that much. "Bleeding?" He stood now, his hands on his hips. "There were no wounds on her!" He began to pace; Kara taking this opportunity to grab Barba's arm and lead him to an empty treatment room.

"Mr. Barba." Kara was firm again as the door swung shut. "Olivia was hemorrhaging from internal blood loss. That explains why her abdomen was tender. But my biggest concern is taming the bleeding and replenishing her blood before she goes into surgery."

"S-Surgery?!" he demanded, almost choking on his saliva. "Why does she need surgery?!" He felt like he was talking to a brick wall. Ironically enough, Kara felt the same about the man standing before her. Both were well educated, but not in the same field. But they were both as stubborn as each other and nowhere was that more evident than now when trying to have a simple conversation.

"Sir," Kara kept a hand of Rafael's arm. "This is why I would have preferred to talk to you alone. I am aware of your relationship with Olivia…" She took a breath in before continuing. "The ultrasound done on Olivia showed that she had a large cyst on her Right Ovary, the size of a football from what we can approximate on the ultrasound and the reason for the bleeding is because it has unfortunately burst." Barba's knees became weak. "We were able to get her stabilized but from what we could see there was a secondary cyst on the ovary that was still fully formed but due to the second one bursting, we are booking her in for surgery right now to get it removed as well as clean the remains of the cyst that has burst." As Kara spoke, Rafael felt his vision begin to cloud. "No wonder she was in so much pain… I can only imagine what she would be feeling. Wait, why is Kara still talking?" "When the second cyst is removed it will be biopsied to ensure that it is not malignant. She will be kept in hospital until we know the type of tumor it is, but also to recover from the surgery."

There was only one word in that sentence that he did not understand and that is the word that stuck out the most. "Malignant?" Barbra repeated. "What does that mean?" Wait, Malignant… I've heard that word before. He blinked again. "M-Malign…" He felt his bottom lip begin to quiver. "Malignant; that means cancer, doesn't it?" Kara nodded silently. "Oh, lord…" Barba's hands went to his face. "How…how long will it take for the Biopsy results to come back?"

"It's difficult to say," Kara was honest. "Olivia is being listed as a priority one for treatment once she has been stabilized so we should- "

"Kara, I'm sorry interrupt…," Eve looked to Barba and felt her heart go out to the man before her as she took in his red rimmed eyes. "Miss Benson is stable and the O.R is ready for us." Kara nodded to her coworker and stood silently. Eve placed one hand on the handle of the treatment room and kept the other at her side and looked towards Barba. "We will do everything in our power, Mr. Barba. But from what we saw in there just now, your wife is a fighter."

Barba found his heart in his throat and nodded silently. "Alright, let's go." Kara prompted, following Eve and Barba out the door. As he followed the two nurses down the hall, Barba found his head begin to spin as he truly processed the last two hours. From walking into his wife's squad room looking for an update on a case, and maybe sneakily giving Olivia a cuddle behind the interrogation room door and possibly discuss a dinner date. But now? Now he had to wonder what was even happening and whether his wife had cancer or not.

"Can…" Barba's voice was almost a squeak. "Can I see her before she goes in?" He was almost pleading. If he thought it would make the situation better, he would have been on his knees blubbering like a baby.

Kara's smile was soft. "Yes." She looked to her watch. "Only a few minutes, then we have to move her." Nodding silently, Barba wrung his hands together and followed Kara to the trauma room Olivia was in. Opening the door, Kara's voice was kind. "Look who I found in the hallways…." Leading him in, she let the door close behind him as she walked away. Clearing his throat, Rafael headed to Olivia's side and rested his hand on her hair, stroking it softly as he did. Her eyes fluttered open, a tired smile on her pale face.

"Raffa…" she croaked, her voice hoarse. She cleared her throat and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"Why are you sorry?" His voice was soft as he took her hand. "We weren't to know this is how the day would end." Giving it a squeeze, he ran his thumb over her hand, taking the step to avoid the IV already inserted in it. "They're going to take you up in a minute, but I'll be there when you wake up."

"Noah?" Olivia breathed, closing her eyes as she felt her abdomen cramp. It felt like a thousand knives twisting their way into her insides. "I need to call Lucy- "

"Already sorted, my love." Barba reassured, squeezing her hand, and giving her forehead a kiss. "I'll see you when you wake up." Almost on cue, Kara and another nurse entered and stood at Olivia's head. "Looks like they're ready for you." He tried to muster a smile.

"Looks like it…" Olivia's voice was still soft, but she still looked into Barba's eyes. With a watery smile, she shook Barba's hand and squeezed it at the same time.

"I love you," Barba kissed her hairline as he stood up. The grip on Olivia's hand remained tight as the bed was wheeled out of the room and down the hall. As they reached the doors to the elevator, Kara pressed the button and kept a hand on Barba's shoulder.

"This is as far as you go for now." She advised. She stepped in front of him into the elevator and pressed 'up'. "we'll call you as soon as she is out of recovery." Before Barba could say anything else, the doors closed; leaving Barba almost frozen in place.