Izuku had days left, and Katsuki could barely speak without losing it. Whether that meant breaking down into a sobbing mess or an explosive temper tantrum varied from hour to hour. It had been four days since he'd begged Izuku for a miracle, and it didn't look like a miracle was going to come.
He tried to stay positive. All Might hadn't given up on finding the villain, because All Might never gave up when there was hope. That was the declaration he'd built his life on, and he'd milk it for all it was worth now. And if there was hope that the nerd was going to wake up, that meant that Katsuki had to be on top of his studies so that he could kick the little shit back into shape (right after he kicked his ass for making him feel like the entire goddamn world was ending).
But it was hard to stay positive. So here he was at 10 pm with his friends scattered around his room in individual study piles—trying to perfectly transpose his notes into detailed study guides— when unbidden, he wondered what kind of flowers Auntie Inko would be ordering for the funeral.
He snapped his pencil. Before his first sob even had an opportunity to break free, Mina and Jirou had pulled him away from his desk to bundle him on the bed. Apparently, Jirou was the one on coddling duty, because she pulled him back on the bed and cocooned herself in his arms—pulling his head into her neck so that she could reach her arms up to thread her fingers into his hair and stroke there gently, humming softly as he cried.
He thought he recognized 'All the Pretty Little Horses'.
Part of him hated all of this; that he'd become so weak and needy in the span of two months. That he broke down every few hours and could barely concentrate without thinking about what Deku would think of the new quirk theory lesson or how Deku would approach a training exercise. That he needed to be coddled like this in order to get through the day.
The other part of him was grateful that despite how abrasive and caustic he could be, he'd somehow found a group of friends that were willing to put in that work. That there was someone other than Deku who could see all of his ugly and want him anyways. It would never be the same as Deku's brand of affection—the all-encompassing, in-depth knowledge of and love for Katsuki's every bitchy molecule that Deku possessed—but it still felt good when everything else felt decidedly bad.
They were on borrowed time now. Soon, the person who knew and loved him best would be gone. Every extra day was a loan that he didn't know how to pay back.
He held it together a little better the next evening. He'd gone to see Deku and he'd had dinner with his parents. He'd gone to the gym with Eijirou, and now he was studying with Momo, Mina, Hanta, and Koda. Well, Momo was tutoring Mina, Hanta, and himself, and Koda was reviewing his math notes and homework.
"Katsuki!" Denki slammed through the door, throwing it open with such force that it slammed off the wall and left a dent. The study group startled violently—Mina even fell off her seat, landing hard on her ass.
"Denks, what the fuck," Mina scolded him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I think we found him," Denki gasped. He was sweating. Had he been running? His room was only
one floor away, where the hell could he have been running from? "Found who?" Momo asked, eyeing him like he'd lost the plot.
"The villain!" Denki cried, still panting. Katsuki froze, eyes abandoning his friend's disheveled state to snap to his wild, excited eyes. "Hitoshi and I were looking through social footage and cross- referencing with facial recognition and the quirk registry. Hitoshi has access because of his work- study with Aizawa. We were combing footage within a mile radius of the incident, focusing on anyone who was avoiding the more visible cameras." Katsuki stood slowly, heart racing and palms sweating, eyes lasered in on Denki as he spoke. "We found some footage on Instagram that a tourist posted in one of the CCTV dead zones, and then found the guy in a couple of other places, always angled away from buildings and pole mounts but visible in the background of influencer pics at some of the tourist and restaurant hotspots in the area. We ran face-rec and cross-referenced with the registry and—" he took a deep breath—still panting from his sprint and running out of breath from talking so fast. "I think we fucking found him."
"You found him?" Katsuki's voice cracked. "Why the hell are you telling me?" he asked, a little lost and not quite computing what was happening.
"Hitoshi's telling Aizawa," Denki told him hurriedly. "He went to go look for him as soon as we found out but I—" he shook his head. "Of course I needed to tell you as soon as I could. You needed to know first, dude."
Katsuki trembled, eyes still locked on Denki. Everyone in the room could see the exact moment that Katuski understood what was happening. He gave a ragged gasp, and his face twisted. Then came the ragged sob, and the drop of his shoulders. He stumbled forward, grasping Denki by the arm and pulling him in; throwing his arms around his shoulders—pushing his face into the crook of his neck as he sobbed. Denki's arms came up around his back—holding him up and comforting him in turn as Katsuki cried into his neck.
"Thank you thank you thank you thank you—" he whispered praise into Denki's skin, desperate tears of utter relief making the whole experience gross but neither of them gave a single fuck. Denki clutched him a little tighter.
"Kat, let's go see Aizawa," Mina urged. "We might know who he is, but we still need to catch the motherfucker. Let's go see what we can do."
Katsuki nodded, giving Denki another squeeze (Denki gave a strangled huff) before straightening. "Denki—"
"No need, dude," he insisted, grin wide and electric. "Let's find this asshole."
The villain's name was Hiroki Takeda, and he was a small-time robber who knocked over small businesses and corner stores. It had been shockingly easy to capture him—it turns out that the reason he opted for stealth was that he was really not physically active. As soon as he was surrounded, he pretty much knew that he had to surrender.
Unfortunately, he also knew that he'd poisoned a hero hopeful because that same hero hopeful, whose face had been splayed across every TV in the country during the sports festival, had stumbled across him right before he'd attempted to rob a tiny bakery. He'd attacked Izuku before Izuku had been able to attack him, and he'd made it the most cowardly sneak attack he could possibly manage—imparting as much damage as he could in as little time as possible.
"Is Midoriya still alive?" he'd chuckled, looking too calm and amused for someone being apprehended as he watched Aizawa's face darken. "Well if you want him to stay that way, I want to make a deal. I don't imagine he has much time left."
Katsuki stared at Takeda from behind a two-way mirror as Aizawa and Tsukauchi discussed an interrogation plan. He was shaking with barely restrained anger. Denki and Hitoshi were on either side of him.
This fucker may have been easy to track down and apprehend, but pinning down the minutiae of his quirk was not. When his quirk had been registered at the tender age of five, it had been registered as a mild paralytic toxin that was secreted from under his fingernails. That mild paralytic toxin wore off on its own within five hours. Since then, his quirk had matured into a completely different beast, and he hadn't made any updates to his registry record. They were flying completely blind.
"We can figure out what happened later, Naomasa," Aizawa insisted. "The priority needs to be getting an antidote for Midoriya."
"He won't give one up until he's granted some level of immunity. We can't give him that until we know the scope of his illegal activity." Tsukauchi argued. Katsuki gritted his teeth.
"It's like I'm fucking invisible," Hitoshi grumbled after the adults' bickering had gone on for a touch longer than he wanted. "Hey!" he barked. They turned to him, alarmed. "What about me?"
Tsukauchi squinted at him. "What about you?" Hitoshi rolled his eyes in response, before giving Aizawa a pointed look.
Aizawa hesitated. "We'd need to get authorization from the Hero Commission," Aizawa replied. "Use of a mental quirk in an interrogation setting has a full set of moral implications and legal roadblocks."
"But most of those roadblocks fuck off when there's human life in imminent danger," Katsuki snapped. He enjoyed studying quirk legislation, okay? It was fucking cool.
"That's true. That doesn't mitigate the need for authorization."
"Then fucking get it!" Katsuki snarled. "Deku is currently overdue for his meeting with the goddamn grim reaper, so can we pick up the fucking pace?"
"Toshinori is probably still there. I'll call him," Tsukauchi agreed, pulling out his phone and stepping out of the room. Aizawa turned to his students, face softening.
"Hey, we're gonna get the antidote. Getting this asshole here was the hardest part," Aizawa insisted. Katsuki gave a jerky nod, not meeting his eyes. He closed his hand down over his student's shoulder, noting the shaking. "Hey, look at me." Reluctantly, Katsuki complied. "I know you're scared. You've been amazing over the past two months. So now I'm gonna make you a promise." Their teacher's eyes darkened noticeably. "If Midoriya is living on borrowed time, then so is he. Either he's going to give us that antidote in time to save him, or he's going to meet his maker right by Midoriya's side."
Their eyes widened. "Just to be clear," Denki began nervously. "You're saying that if Midoriya doesn't make it, you're going to murder a detainee?"
"Without remorse," Aizawa agreed coolly. "Your class has been through too much, you and Midoriya especially." He looked back into Katsuki's eyes. "You are my kids, and while you're under my care I will meet anyone who hurts you with equal retribution. If Midoriya dies, I will make sure he follows." He glanced seriously between his students. "However, I have no intention of becoming a murderer, so that should tell you how sure I am that we'll succeed."
Aizawa's words in the hospital echoed through his head. If you die, I will never forgive the world for taking you so young. Katsuki wished he felt alarmed by Aizawa's declaration, but he felt astonishingly reassured. He went slack in his hold and nodded. "I'll take your word for it."
"Good." Aizawa squeezed his shoulder again. "Now, if I might make a suggestion—go wait at the hospital with Midoriya. Being here will only agitate you." Katsuki opened his mouth to argue, but Aizawa cut him off. "That guy is gunning to get a rise out of us, and you've been on edge for over a month. Any misconduct here will increase the chance that he'll get his sentence reduced, so clear out. Take Denki, and go threaten the hospital staff into keeping him alive until we get there."
"You're making a lot of really unethical recommendations today, sir," Denki pointed out. "Don't get me wrong, I'm kinda jazzed about it, but fair warning that I might bring it up later when you're mad at me in the future."
Aizawa smirked. "You'll get three free passes to throw this in my face. After that, I'll just up your training quotas."
Denki grimaced. "Noooooooo thank you. Okay, Blasty, let's bounce and go keep your broccoli boyfriend company."
Katsuki spluttered. "Do not call him that!" Katsuki demanded as Denki pulled him out of the room, too flustered to notice the kiss that Denki blew to Hitoshi over his shoulder.
"I'll call him whatever I want! He'd need to wake up to stop me!"
With All Might breathing down the Commission's neck, Hitoshi's authorization came through in
record time.
He followed Aizawa into the room docilely. "Have you finally decided to talk to me? I've had plenty of time to come up with a list of demands while you've had me waiting here." Takeda sneered.
"Oh?" Hitoshi smirked. "And what would those be?"
"I don't answer to children—" Takeda's eyes glazed over.
"You do now," Hitoshi smirked. "Answer our questions honestly and thoroughly. Don't leave
anything out."
"How do we produce an antidote to your quirk?" Aizawa asked, voice deadly.
"Are you serious? You have to inject Deku with his saliva? That's fuckin' gross." Katsuki grimaced.
"Less gross than becoming worm food, Boomer." Hitoshi drawled over speakerphone so that both Denki and Katsuki could hear him. The hospital room was empty. Technically, visiting hours were over, but when they explained that there was an antidote incoming with authorization from Eraserhead and Detective Tsukauchi, they were ushered into Izuku's room by an overjoyed nursing staff who had become very fond of Katsuki.
"We have Recovery Girl coming to collect his saliva samples so that she can synthesize a more concentrated serum. Apparently, the way his quirk works is that he releases microscopic quills into the bloodstream that essentially hijack your cells so that your own body starts to attack itself. He basically poisons you with an autoimmune disorder. As his quirk developed, the length of time that it took for those quills to be destroyed by your immune system increased way past human survivability. At this rate, we'd need to pump him with like—I dunno, half his blood volume's worth of saliva. Instead, they're gonna isolate whatever will neutralize those quills and introduce it to his IV," Hitoshi continued to explain.
"Eyebags. I don't care how. Tell me when," Katsuki barked. Deku was no longer breathing on his own, and a doctor with a minor tissue reconstruction quirk was currently the only reason that his heart and stomach were still intact.
"Recovery Girl will be here in half an hour. I anticipate she'll have an antidote ready by the morning," Aizawa relayed, a little farther from the phone than Hitoshi, but still clearly part of the conversation. "If you'd like to stay the night in the hospital, you may. You're both excused from classes tomorrow. All Might will join you during visiting hours, and I'll inform you as soon as the antidote is prepared. I'll leave the honor of informing Mrs. Midoriya to you, Bakugou."
Deku just needed to make it through one more night. Katsuki's veins burned with elation. He could already see the look on Auntie's face.
"Katsuki? Denki?" Inko blinked at the boys in surprise as she entered the room. It wasn't terribly early visiting hours had started a few hours ago. Katsuki was glad she'd taken the time to sleep in. All Might shifted on the other side of the room, drawing her eye. "Toshinori!"
"Morning, Auntie. We were given the day off, so Pikachu and I wanted to come to keep him company. All Might drove us," he fibbed. He didn't like dishonesty, but he didn't want to get her hopes up until Recovery Girl was on her way with the antidote.
"That's so sweet of you, boys," she smiled at them. Katsuki took in the tired set of her shoulders and the dark circles under her red-rimmed eyes. The only thing that excited him more than seeing Inko genuinely happy was the prospect of seeing Deku's freakishly big viridian eyes and hearing his neverending muttering. He was practically vibrating with anticipation.
"You want some coffee, Mrs. M?" Denki asked, standing and tugging on Katsuki's sleeve so that he'd stand, too.
"She drinks tea, Pikachu."
"Dangit, just when you'd started calling me Denki regularly?"
"Nicknames are how he shows affection, dear," Inko's smile was tired, but there were flecks of mischief in her expression that Katsuki scowled at. "If he doesn't care, I believe he'd be calling you an extra."
"Auntie."
"He used to call me Auntie Moss-Head. He used to call his father Spiky Potato," she chuckled.
"Auntie!" Katsuki protested, flushing. Denki was cackling.
"I'm pretty sure he only stopped because they were mouthfuls."
"We're getting you tea. C'mon lightning dolt," Katsuki pouted, dragging Denki from the room as he wheezed with laughter.
They returned twenty minutes later, caffeinated beverages in hand. Katsuki was jittery again, leg bouncing and eyes flicking from Izuku to Inko, then to his phone and back again. "Sweetheart, are you sure you should be drinking more caffeine?" Inko asked hesitantly. "You seem jumpy."
"Yeah, I'm good. Waiting for this dumbass to finish his milk with a dash of coffee so that we can read our hero analysis essays to Deku," he replied, leg still bouncing.
"Language, Katsuki," she sighed.
They got halfway through Denki's analysis essay (which All Might gave notes on as he read it aloud) before Katsuki's phone lit up with Aizawa's text.
Recovery Girl on her way. ETA 30 minutes.
Katsuki sobbed in relief, drawing Inko's eyes immediately—expression sharp with alarm. "Katsuki?"
"They made the antidote—" he rasped, letting out a crazy little laugh as he doubled over in his chair. Inko went rigid. It felt like someone had punched the air out of his lungs. "I didn't tell you earlier, Auntie, I'm so sorry—I didn't want to get your hopes up," he choked on a shuddering sob. All Might was grinning next to Inko's frozen form. "I didn't want to tell y-you just in case he didn't make it before it w-was ready. Denki and E-eyebags found the villain last night, and now Recovery G-girl is on her way here with the a-antidote. I didn't want to tell you until we knew for s-sure—" he hiccuped his way through his explanation, trying to explain himself.
But Inko was already out of her seat and launching herself at the sobbing boy, winding her arms around his neck and soaking him in tears of relief. Midoriyas and their tear ducts. He'd gladly drown in them as long as it meant that Deku was going to wake up.
Then she threw her arms around Denki, pressing an enthusiastic kiss to his forehead before squeezing him tighter than Katsuki had the night before.
"You're all so amazing," she blubbered into Denki's shoulder. He looked a little alarmed at the violent display of affection but hugged her back. "I knew that if there was a way to save him that one of you would find it. My baby couldn't have been in better hands."
Katsuki had dropped his face into his hands, now edging towards outright bawling, body shuddering and spasming from the sheer weight of his utter relief.
Recovery Girl demanded that the boys return to the dorm to rest as she introduced the antidote to Deku's IV. "He's not going to wake up for a few days at least, so you should try to catch up on your rest before he wakes up," she insisted. "You'll be of more use to him that way, dears."
They complied, but only when Inko promised to text Katsuki a play-by-play. As the antidote began to work its magic, Izuku's doctors went to work repairing the damage that the poison had done. All Might had called in multiple favors with regeneration specialists to speed his progress.
When they returned to the dorm, Hitoshi was held captive under a dogpile of affection and admiration. Denki was dragged in immediately after. Apparently, Mina and Momo had told everyone what Denki and Hitoshi had accomplished as soon as they'd left the dorms, and now they were throwing them an impromptu party.
"How are you doing, bro?" Eijirou asked, throwing himself onto the couch beside him while everyone else was distracted.
Katsuki grinned at him helplessly. "Fuckin' awesome."
Mina snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her chin on his head. "He's gonna be okay, Kat." She breathed. Katsuki could feel her airy laugh vibrating across his back. He matched it with his own incredulous chuckle. He felt his entire body unclenching after weeks of constant tension. "I can barely believe it."
"Neither can I, Pinky," he agreed, grasping her arms tight. "But fuck it feels good."
Within two days, Izuku's organs had largely been healed or re-formed. On the third morning, he
was weaned off his ventilator.
Katsuki spent every spare minute that he was allowed to be in the hospital adhered to Izuku's bedside, waiting for him to wake up. So did Inko. So did All Might.
Three days after the ventilator was removed, Katsuki made his way to the hospital after attending classes and changing out of his uniform, accepting the bento that Sato passed to him on his way out of the dorm.
He sat at Deku's bedside, opened his 'Ethics of Heroics' textbook, and began reading aloud.
"There are many ways to act pro-socially without taking risk but when one reaches the threshold that separates altruism from heroism, danger plays a crucial role—" Katsuki scoffed. "Well, that's bullshit. How old is this dumb book?" He grumbled, flipping to the publication info, still talking to himself. "For fucks sake, if altruism mattered to modern heroism, we wouldn't have flaming shitbags like Endeavor—"
He was interrupted by a gentle huff of laughter, and his eyes snapped to the body in the bed.
It was 5:47 pm, and Izuku's eyes were open; beautiful, amused and so alive. The amusement was rapidly replaced with extreme concern when his oldest, surliest friend dropped his textbook on his foot and started weeping. "K-" he rasped, too parched to talk, but reaching out for Katsuki.
Katsuki batted his hand away, slamming his fist on the nurse call button before practically climbing on top of Izuku in a desperate attempt to hug him. "Jesus fuck you're awake—"
He felt Izuku tap his leg three times—the universal sign for tapping out—and realized that he was essentially suffocating the bedridden nerd and hastily scrambled off of him. He whipped his phone
out, gaze fixing on Izuku's alarmed emerald eyes as he called Inko, still crying. "He's awake," he croaked into the phone as soon as she picked up. He heard something crash on the other end, and assumed she'd dropped something.
"I'm on my way, I'll be there in fifteen minutes—" she hung up as she undoubtedly flew out the door to break several traffic laws in her attempt to get to the hospital.
The nurse was here now, checking on him and coaching him through tiny sips of water, testing his reflexes and whatever the fuck else they tested for after a coma.
He'd gotten some of his shit together by the time Auntie Inko arrived. She burst through the door, already sobbing. "Izuku, sweetheart, thank god!" She cried.
"Hey, mom," he rasped. Katsuki bit back more tears. God, even that croaky-ass death rattle sounded beautiful.
"I'm gonna go. I need to tell Aizawa and All Might that he's awake, and then I need to tell the rest of the class," Katsuki sniffed. He knew he was putting a wall up, but goddammit, he had been an anthropomorphized open wound for two goddamn months. He needed some recovery time.
Inko frowned, though. "Are you sure, Katsuki?" she asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, auntie. I'll come back as soon as I can. I'll tell my parents to come meet you here, though," he promised, already packing his bag to beat a hasty retreat.
Inko knew him well, though. "Alright, sweetheart. Get some rest tonight. I'll see you soon."
Of course she would see him soon. He might need some distance, but Deku needed him. He'd almost lost that shitty little nerd, and he had pretty much committed to never let him down again. "I'll be back right after classes tomorrow," he promised before practically fleeing.
"What was that about?" Izuku croaked once he'd gained a little more control over his voice. He'd been awake for about fifteen minutes, but the world felt a little weird—from Katsuki's outburst to his weakened limbs.
"What do you mean, baby?" Inko asked, clutching his hand as though he might disappear if he let go.
"When I woke up, Kacchan started crying. Then he hugged me. Then he ran away," he explained. "Like...kinda felt like he was trying to chew his arm off."
"He's not the most emotionally literate, dear," she reminded him, voice going soft but incredibly serious. "You've been in a coma for two months. Until two days ago, we all genuinely thought you were going to die. Your classmates all came through to say their goodbyes, just in case we couldn't find an antidote for you."
His eyes widened, looking impossibly large in his now sunken face. She'd have to get Katsuki and that sweet Sato boy to put extra effort into feeding him. "Two months?" he asked, horrified. "What happened?"
"Aizawa and your friends Hitoshi and Denki will be able to answer that better," she told him gently. "The point is, Katsuki spent those two months certain that he was going to lose you, but hoping that you wouldn't. He was here for your first seizure and the first time you—" she took a shuddering breath. "The first time you choked on blood. It was really hard on him, but he took it all
on. I don't think I could have done it without him and his parents. He's been a rock. But he still thought he was going to lose you. I'd imagine that he had to escape just now because he was overwhelmed. He's been more emotionally distressed in the last two months than he has in the last ten years." She brushed his hair out of his eyes. He needed a haircut. "It was scary for him. You've had your troubles, but you're still so important to him."
"I didn't mean to worry him. Or you. I'm sorry," he sniffed.
"It wasn't your fault, baby. This time, you were just walking back to campus after visiting me and stumbled across a villain," she hung her head. "I still don't really know the details. They only caught him four days ago, and I've been preoccupied with the fact that you were going to survive. I didn't even ask when Aizawa came to visit."
They talked about the time he'd spent in his coma—his mother detailing how much Katsuki had done to help them; from bringing her dinners to cleaning their apartment to keeping her company in the hospital—how he'd organized the Class A hospital visits after breaking the news to them and offered them emotional support when they broke down.
She told him how much his friends had missed him and how scared they'd been. He cried when he thought about how profoundly he must have scared his friends. How much strain his condition had put on Katsuki and his mom and the Bakugous. How he nearly died and almost took One For All with him.
When he'd settled down a little, he was struck with a realization. "Oh crap. I'm going to be so behind in school and training—" he fretted.
Inko smiled softly. "Don't worry sweetheart," she squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Katsuki took care of that, too."
He arrived back at the dorm in a daze. It was earlier than he'd expected to return, so no one was actively waiting for him. He entered the common room stealthily, scanning the room to take stock of who was present.
Most of the class. Grape-sack was missing, and so was Hanta. Usually, that meant that Hanta was wrapping the perv in a tape cocoon and sticking him somewhere out of reach of the majority of the class. Not all heroes wear capes, or whatever.
But Hanta needed to be here, so he texted him to meet him in the common room. He arrived within a minute. "You're back early, Blasty!" he called from across the room. Seventeen pairs of eyes turned to look at him. Well, maybe sixteen. He couldn't see Hagakure's eyes.
"Yeah," he agreed, stepping further into the room. He took in their faces as he stepped forward, watching as each individual classmate realized that he had an announcement to make. He couldn't hold back his wild smile and his heart was in his throat. "Deku's awake."
A screaming cheer made its way through the common room and before he knew it, he was being tackled from all directions with full-bodied hugs and violent thumps on his back. His ears were assaulted by their whoops of joy and he grinned even wider. Eijirou picked him up and spun him around.
He could hear someone asking when they could see him and honestly, he didn't know. He'd just woken up for fuck's sake—he probably needed time to recuperate or something. Upon investigation, it was someone who wasn't allowed in the hospital anyways, so he just ignored it and
let himself revel in the fact that Izuku was awake as his classmates celebrated around him. Suddenly he was hoisted up onto Eijirou and Hanta's shoulders. "What the hell? Put me down,
dumbasses!"
But they ignored him, opting to march out of the dorms with him perched on their shoulders, the class following behind them as they bellowed an elated chant into the darkening campus: "HE'S AWAKE! HE'S AWAKE! HE'S AWAKE!"
When they passed by Class 2-B's dorm, Kendo stuck her head out of the door to see what the commotion was. When she realized what was happening, she yelled back into their dorm. Before long, Class 2-B had joined them, then the 1st years, then the 3rd years, until the entire hero course was in the Heights Alliance courtyard screaming: "HE'S AWAKE! HE'S AWAKE! HE'S AWAKE!"
Katsuki enjoyed the show from his perch on his friends' shoulders, and he couldn't have stopped grinning if he tried.
When Katsuki returned the next day, he had kind of expected a buffer in the form of their parents. Apparently, he was shit out of luck.
"Hi, Kacchan," Izuku greeted him softly, smiling at him like he was something precious.
"Hey, Deku," he replied, relieved but uncomfortable—completely out of his depth under Izuku's scrutiny. He shuffled into the room, strongly considering running away again. But he wasn't a little bitch, so fuck that. "Where's your mom?"
"She was here all day. I asked her to give me a couple of hours alone with you, though." Izuku's eyes were warm but determined, and that urge to run the fuck away from whatever he wanted to say was strong as hell.
But the past two months had kinda proven that running away from Deku and his never-ending fountain of emotions would only lead to insurmountable levels of regret and pain. So, he donned his emotional jock-strap like a big boy and moved to the chair at Izuku's bedside. "Why'd ya do that, nerd?"
Izuku raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, and Katsuki repressed the instinctual need to flip him off in response. "So that I could thank you, stupid."
"Don't push your luck, asshole," Katsuki growled half-heartedly. "I'm still pissed at you for nearly dying on me. Pull that shit again and I'll set your appointment with God myself."
Izuku rolled his eyes. "Something gives me the impression that you're full of shit," he replied dryly. "Something like how you took care of my mom and your parents and our friends, destroyed the school gym when I had a seizure, and cried at my bedside."
Katsuki glared at him, and Izuku smirked back. "Makin' it real fuckin' hard to remember why, fucker."
"Liar," Izuku replied, fond. "It would have been the same for me, if it were you, you know."
Katsuki swallowed. Whatever bravado was left in his sails seemed to leave him all at once. "Yeah, I know. Probably would have handled it better, though."
Izuku scoffed incredulously. "I would have flooded the dorms with the sheer magnitude of my
tears." Katsuki snorted.
"Yeah, maybe. But you were always better with the emotional shit," he shrugged. "Way better at supporting people and making them feel better. I was just—" he exhaled shakily. "I was a mess. And kind of an asshole for the first few weeks."
"That's not what mom said," Izuku disagreed. "I'm more inclined to believe her. You're always too hard on yourself. She said you were incredible. You took care of everything so that she could focus on me. And you were there for me, too. Took care of my friends and spent time with me while I was out. You try to hide it, but you're always there for me. I don't think I thank you enough for that, Kacchan."
"You're the same, Deku," Katsuki reminded him. "Even when I didn't want it, you were always right there offering to help me up when I'm on the ground." He looked straight up at the ceiling, willing gravity to push the oncoming tears back into his eyeballs.
"I'm sorry," Izuku murmured. Katsuki's eyes snapped back to him. "For worrying you so much. I'm sorry you spent two months thinking that I was going to die."
Katsuki considered his options carefully. He could brush it off. Tell him that it was nothing, but that wasn't really the direction he wanted to go. This was an opportunity that he shouldn't pass up, no matter how hard the conversation would be. "It's not the first time I've thought you were going to die," Katsuki replied. Izuku's eyes widened. "It was just the first time I thought you were going to die and I couldn't be mad at you for it."
"What are you talking about?"
"This was the first time that you've been in the hospital for something that was completely out of your control. I've been terrified for you in the past. It's why I was so fucking angry with you all those years. You have that big ass nerd brain, and you go running into danger with only two active brain cells and it scares the shit out of me. All the time. This time was different and so much scarier because you were fucking ambushed when you were minding your own business so the only thing I could do was be terrified that you were going to die, right when you were finally becoming what you wanted to be. Right before we were ready to fix our issues," he paused, looking back up at the ceiling. "I spent so much time wondering how to get you to consider yourself before pulling some kamikaze bullshit because I was so fucking sure that was what was gonna kill you. I was completely unprepared to see you waste away quietly in a fucking hospital without a fight."
Izuku stared at him, mouth parted in surprise. "That's why you were mad at me?"
Katsuki looked back at him and gave him a wry smile, eyes suspiciously wet. "For years, I was sure you were going to get yourself hurt doing something reckless. I was terrified that I'd end up depending on you, and you'd fucking die on me. So I tried to push you away, but you kept on pushing yourself closer. But you still kept pulling reckless shit right in front of me. I wasn't just mad, Izuku," he replied. Izuku jolted at the use of his actual name. "I was furious. And then it actually happened. You finally managed to get closer to me again, and I started to depend on you. And then this happened, and I nearly broke."
Izuku was crying now. Not his usual quirk-level waterworks, but a steady stream that was quiet and pained. "I'm so sorry, Katsuki." He understood why Izuku had jolted when he'd said his name. It felt like a livewire. "I'm sorry for putting you through that. I promise you, I'll work on my recklessness. I know I overdo it, I've known that for a long time. I don't really know how to switch it off, but I promise you I'll try."
"That's literally all I want," Katsuki replied, relieved.
"Can I get something in return?" he asked. "It's by no means a condition for me to take care of myself, but—"
"Spit it out, Deku."
Izuku swallowed thickly. "This is the first time you've told me how you felt. The first time you've really told me where I went wrong. I've been fighting to stand beside you my entire life, and it feels like you want that too, now. But when something's bothering you, I need you to tell me. I need you to communicate. Not exactly your strong suit, I know—"
"Fuck you!"
"But we need it. Don't you think we've wasted enough time on miscommunication? You're too
important to me to lose over a misunderstanding, Kacchan."
Katsuki rubbed his palms over his face. "I can try. I can definitely try," he agreed. "The next time one of us is in this shit, I don't want either of us to have regrets."
Izuku reached over to squeeze his hand. "Me neither." There was a beat of silence, where they both reveled in the fact that they'd just had an emotional and honest talk that didn't end in shouting or black eyes. Progress.
"Hey, Deku?" Katsuki gripped his hand a little tighter. "I uh...I asked you for a miracle. When you were still out, I mean. I asked you to pull one of your crazy miracles out of your ass again and
just come back. And you did, so—" he swallowed thickly. "So thanks for listening."
Izuku chuckled. "I'm not sure I had anything to do with it, but uh—" he glanced at Katsuki out of the corner of his eye. "If you're gonna give me credit for that, I think I know how you can pay me back for it. Mom mentioned something about study guides?"