Sasuke felt unusually self conscious. He didn't like what he saw in the mirror as he brushed his teeth and attempted to comb his hair. He didn't like how tight his uniform's collar felt around his neck. Even with the top button open, it felt like it was suffocating. For the first time in awhile, Sasuke felt his anxiety melt into every conceivable thought that was running through his brain.
He didn't look happy. He felt it, but he was concerned she would think otherwise. Feeling the heat get to his ears, he splashed his face with some cold water before patting his face to dry.
We can meet there? He could hear the words coming from her as he read the quick text. Yes, he would meet her at school. He didn't get up early enough to catch her on the walk to campus. He quickly sent a thumbs up reaction and slid his phone back into his pocket.
Sasuke didn't know why he felt so nervous to see her. Maybe it was because it was at school? It was a different environment when they were alone from the scrutiny of hundreds of students he didn't facilitate with, leaving him with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. For the first time, Sasuke felt that maybe it was time for him to address these physical pains he often (internally) struggled with.
Not even Hinata knew the extent of his anxiety. He wasn't proud having such a weakness which was the entire point of his indifferent demeanor - to somehow convince someone that he was fine even when he could feel the sweat reach his knees. It was, frankly, an embarrassing issue.
The teenager quickly rinsed his mouth and left for campus by foot, ignoring his mother's insistence on using their driver. Hell, he could drive himself, but he felt that the breeze would do best for his lungs.
Whatever he was still battling lost in a train of thoughts halted the moment he could hear Naruto's yell. Stopping, he allowed the blond to catch up to him. "Thanks for waiting teme!" Sasuke grunted an acknowledgement before resuming his even pace. The remainder of the walk was filled with Naruto's erratic conversations, making it easier for Sasuke to relax. He would never admit to his friend that his idiotic talks usually did calm him now. Whatever he felt in his stomach certainly felt suppressed.
"Anyway, do you think you and Hinata would want to go?"
That interrupted his silence. "Go where?"
"I knew you weren't listening." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, dobe. What were you saying before?"
Naruto wasn't convinced, but didn't want to grill his friend if he was going to be uncomfortable with it. "Our homeroom class wants to go to Konoha Lake for the weekend. Would you and Hinata be down to go?"
"I guess so." He shrugged. "I'm sure she'd want to."
"But would you?" Naruto pressed. "I haven't seen you both together in a bit so I figured something was up."
Sasuke shook his head. "I'll ask her and let you know. But just put us as a yes."
Naruto returned back to his giddy self. "Hell yes! I'll tell everyone!" As they approached the steps to the school, Naruto parted ways, leaving Sasuke to meet the gaze of his shy girlfriend.
"Hey," He says as he approaches her. He notices her hair is in a loose low bun, with thick strands framing her face. She's chewing on her lower lip but smiling at him. She turns to follow his lead as they walk into the building. Her right hand found its way automatically into his, and he felt relief that she didn't react or flinch at how clammy his palm was.
"So, Konoha Lake. Would you want to go with everyone this weekend?" He felt awkward asking, but it was hard not to when so many bodies in the halls were staring at them.
"Neji and Kiba are going." She mumbles. She's still smiling, as if to convince him to go in spite of that. "If you're okay with that…then yes."
He tries to hide how tense he feels and scoffs. "Yeah. Why would I care?"
She laughs and squeezes his hand. "It's okay if you do. I just didn't want you to be surprised when you see them."
He appreciates how considerate she is and forgets he was ever mildly stressed to begin with. "Yeah. I can live with that."
"I guess we will need some supplies for our first public sleepover." She says, wiggling her brows. She's teasing him and he knows this, but it still sends a jolt that tickles his knees. In spite of how much time he spends with her, she still somehow gets under his skin.
"As if, pervert." It relaxes him to know they can just tease each other.
Even as they enter their homeroom to the loud murmurs of his classmates, he suddenly feels free. Whatever he was feeling earlier evaporates the minute she looks at him with her soft smile. He knows he needs to tell her how nervous he is. He can't keep her out of his problems forever. But it can wait. At least, until the trip was over.
"Alright, here's the plan." Shikamaru is sitting on the edge of the cafeteria table with Ino, Chouji, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, Temari, Lee, Kiba, Shino, and Gaara huddled around him. "We meet at 7 on Friday at Ino's lake house. Guys to two rooms, and I think the girls can share one but Ino can correct me on that. Neji and TenTen will get the booze, and we each chip in $30 for groceries. Since the lake is far from the nearest town, we'll have to share cooking shifts. As for any other drugs, you're on your own."
"Everyone needs their swimsuits, hiking boots, and to coordinate carpools. It's almost two hours to get there. Not worth driving yourself!" Ino beamed. "I'm so excited!"
For as long as he's been friends with everyone at the table - well, "friends" is a stretch considering he never really put effort to any relationship, but still - he's never really spent that much time with them before. Maybe it would be easier for him to deal with Hinata's cousin and to try to be civil around Kiba. Not that he cared about them, but he certainly didn't want Hinata to feel as uncomfortable as he usually did.
He felt her hand land on his knee and she squeezed. Maybe she sensed him lost in thought again, but then he put his own hand over hers.
Between the laughs and conversations happening at the table, Hinata turned and whispered in his ear "I'm excited to do this with you."
He felt his heart twitch. He just nods. But his ears burn, and he's happy again.
"Man, Uchiha. Your car is too small for this shit." Kiba scoffs as he throws his bags into the trunk. Sure, Sasuke offered to drive as one of the carpools, but he certainly didn't think he would be riding there with the men (and dog) he was hoping to avoid until later. No, he had to do this. Hinata was so excited, and she left already with the girls to get there first. Something about a surprise. He wanted to show her that in spite of his own feelings with her cousin and friends, that he could be cool. He had to be.
Sasuke grounded himself as he gripped the steering wheel as he let Kiba's complaints tune out.
"I agree with the dog." Neji grumbles, taking it upon himself to sit in the passenger seat.
"Funny. I guess all long haired Hyugas love sitting there. Was hoping it wouldn't be you, though." Sasuke grins, successfully striking a nerve with his girlfriend's annoyed cousin.
Neji rolled his eyes. "Real mature of you, Uchiha. Please, show this side of you more around my little cousin so she can finally open her eyes."
The car did feel cramped, because it was. With Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino in the back, it was a completely packed. Not even Naruto could cut the tension in the black sedan that he felt. Sasuke mentally reminded himself that this ironic form of hell was temporary and that he would gladly leave these idiots on their own to get back. Well, maybe not Akamaru. It's not the dog's fault his owner's a shithead.
Shino was silent during the ride and didn't say much, and the only vendetta Sasuke had was that he was close with Kiba. Aside from that association, he really had no issues with the bug fanatic. Akamaru barked constantly, drooled over his seats, and Kiba hogged the aux to play his obnoxious music while Neji put his headphones on and drowned out the heavy metal disturbance.
Sasuke felt his headache pounding but was grateful that the conversations were at least at a minimum. He wished he brought earplugs. The combined smells from Kiba and his dog, Neji's strong cologne, and Shino's ill-prepared jacket (it was at least 70 degrees out. Why was he wearing one?!" were driving him insane.
"Would it be possible for you to turn this shit down?" Sasuke asked. Kiba ignored him much to Neji's satisfaction, but it wasn't until Sasuke pulled over abruptly on the empty road that he turned the music completely down.
Sasuke parked the car, put his hazards on, and ran into the field to throw up. All the nausea he was holding in just came out, an instant release to the stress he was suppressing. As much as he wanted to play coy, the constant bitterness he was receiving (and even throwing back) was weighing on him.
"Dude, are you okay?" Kiba approached. To his right, the silent Hyuga simply handed the Uchiha a cold water bottle.
Sasuke nodded his appreciation and chugged the water. It felt cool as he fell down his throat. He didn't realize how thirsty he was, but he pinched his nose to allow the nausea wave to pass by.
"I'm fine." Sasuke finally says. He's embarrassed this had to happen the way it did, but it was better to do it before they got to the lake house than when was in Hinata's company.
"Bullshit." Neji states. "I'll drive us the rest of the way back. Just take a minute before you come back in the car."
Neji turns to walk back and Kiba just stands there, not really convinced Sasuke should be left alone.
"I just wanted the music lower." He mumbles.
"There's no way that's the only reason you vomited." Kiba says. "Look, you better be honest about what's wrong before we pull up at Ino's. Hinata can't be solely responsible for your bullshit."
After a brief silence, Sasuke says "She doesn't know this happens."
"Then, she outta. Are you dying or something?"
He shakes his head. "Sorry to disappoint, but no."
"Okay. Let's just start over. Hi, I'm Kiba. You're dating my friend. Why did you just vomit?"
Sasuke couldn't even stop the innate laughter that came from his throat. It was heavy, so much so that he had to quickly take another sip of his water to calm himself down. "Forget it, Inuzuka. I'm fine."
"Just take it easy, man." Having given up on trying to make the situation better, Kiba walked back to the car and rolled down all the windows.
After Sasuke felt himself catch his bearings, he slowly made his way back to his car and sat in the passenger seat. The music was low and it was silent.
"Thanks." He finally says after Neji pulls back into the road. The silence wasn't suffocating anymore.
A/N: I haven't updated this story in almost...8 years?! I'm 27 now so I'm trying to finish this story (I still get request to update and finally gave in :') ) in a least cringey way. I don't know. I'd like to just focus on first live jitters still, that concept's still so important to me. I guess I just love writing Sasuke as this lovestruck, anxious kid that wasn't allowed to feel the way he did. I hope this makes up for the wait. I want the next chapter to be longer so take this as a hint that I will come back. Let me know your thoughts!