Chapter LVIII

A Well Deserved Week

TW: Food Disorder

Patience is the mother of all virtues, it goes very well with healing.

As ordered, I rested the days that followed; to this, I still had the task of filing reports regarding Naruto. I share a little more, but I make sure to keep the compromising elements to myself. Despite my recovery, I cleaned up a bit, especially my disgusting bed, stained with blood, venom, bodily fluids and drool. With the rumours swarming in the village, the catastrophic episode of this full-moon night, I didn't leave my apartment at all, not even to get some fresh air. I'm not ready to face this unpredictable and inevitable tornado, which awaits me in order to swallow me in its violence.

Since I can't be hospitalized because of Naruto, Sakura had to come every day; Sakura is the only one that Naruto trusts after all. The obligation to nourish Naruto with my chakra prolongs my rather difficult recovery. All in all, I'm getting treatment for my bites instead of living with these unsightly and painful wounds on my skin. Like a hypocrite, I roughly bandage the bites when the kunoichi visits me.

Also, my fairly pervasive eating disorder is sabotaging my recovery. I reassure Sakura that I'm fine and that I manage to eat. But that's a lie. Hunger is absent and I force myself to fill my grumpy and useless stomach; I barely eat breakfast and I skip meals. Sometimes, I wake up with intense food cravings during which I devour double or triple my depleted amount until I make myself sick. I turn green and I have to fight the urge to throw up—something that has worried Naruto more than once. This binge eating disorder out of nowhere worries me a little…

The next day, Sakura told me about the test results. Other than a fairly large blood loss that would require a transfusion, nothing to report for me. As for Naruto, we have the answers to his saliva. The latter acts as an analgesic which deadens the signals of the nerves and in a rather deep way; that explains why I barely felt his fangs penetrate my flesh all their length.

The substance taken from his tongue does indeed accentuate the effects, besides making them immediate. However, it doesn't act on the surface. The bizarre spikes can pierce the skin into which the strange enzyme is poured; once administered into the epidermis, it promotes better absorption. In fact, it doesn't only accentuate Naruto's drool, it's compatible with other substances of all kinds, such as medicinal ointments. In a murderous logic, it could even allow a venom, a poison, a drug or a toxic liquid to enter through the pores of the skin.

However, synthesizing the saliva or the other substance is impossible. The mutant tongue is essential to administer it at the right depth. As for the drool, it's not effective enough on its own and takes too long to come into action, especially since it must be in large quantities to find similar effects on my neck and my hand; one doesn't go without the other, in short. That said, Naruto's weird tongue paired with his filthy drool can come in handy.

Without realizing it, I embarked on the nocturnal clock of Naruto. Since I have to rest and I'm cloistered at home, it didn't bother me, although Sakura is forced to visit me in the evening. Knocked out by his venom, I fall into a deep slumber from which it's impossible to wake up, and this, all day long. Naruto devours my chakra at dusk and poisons me at dawn, biting me twice a day. Naruto pinches himself during his meals to maintain his lucidity, but he's able to dose his venom. To say that I'm reassured would be a euphemism. I was afraid of sleeping twenty-four hours or plunging into an artificial coma.

With an intrusive and clinging Naruto, hugging me tightly with all his limbs when he goes to bed at the same time as me, I now close my curtains to protect my privacy and chase away the luminous influx of the sun. Thanks to his poison, I don't experience any discomfort with his sickly proximity; I sink into Morpheus's arms in a few minutes, if not immediately.

My slumber is going smoothly, and I sleep ten to twelve hours a day. However, the only times I was woke up were when Naruto was having nightmares. He electrocuted me with his lightning, giving me a brutal, particularly unpleasant awakening.

Unconsciously, I embraced the darkness. I shower in the penumbra, I cook in the obscurity and I bask in the shadows; besides a dim light to allow me to read, my apartment is mainly in the dark. My eye grumbles when subjected to a too bright and sudden glow, especially when Sakura comes to see me. She turns on the lights that I hasten to close as she leaves.

She asked me about my new … nocturnal life. Unconcerned, I shrugged and Naruto loves the darkness that soothes his daytime terrors. My irregular routine is temporary and not bothersome right now. However, if I get too used to it, I will have a really bad time when I get back to my daytime cycle.

Voluntarily submitted to his nocturnal creature clock, I had to accept his atypical and inevitable activities such as scratching. Since it seems to be a need for him, such as that of hydrating himself, devouring chakra, taking care of his hygiene or relieving his bladder, I don't stop him from doing so, although the odious scratching of his murderous fingernails and him destroying my apartment makes my hair stand on end.

Naruto mainly attacks the underside of the bed or the bed base… I mean, that's what I thought. Once, coming out of the shower, I saw him slashing the underside of my table and the inside of my kitchen counters. I lectured him bluntly, clearly explaining to him which areas were authorized or not; I wanted to limit the damage … but the damage is already done. After a thorough inspection, all places beyond visual reach are ravaged, even the drawers in my bathroom have suffered…

To believe that I have a werewolf in my home…

Twice, I surprised Naruto licking and covering his hands or arms with saliva and then rubbing them in his thick hair for dubious reasons… Of course, I hastened to put him in the shower, leaving him no possibility to continue no matter what he started. I don't want a Naruto covered in drool who thinks it's good to wash himself with it…

I read most of the time, but Naruto bothers me and prevents me from fully diving into the story. He's gentle with me, but he brutalizes me with his strength or his fingernails despite himself. He requests too much affectionate attention from me like hugs or caresses. It exhausts me more than anything and I feel compelled to give them to him. Sometimes, he hums incomprehensible sounds while playing in my hair when I stubbornly ignore him … until he sniffs them and tries to lick or chew them for some obscure reason… Needless to say, that made me very uncomfortable. More than once, I locked myself in the bathroom to read in peace and breathe.

The only moments of respite I get are when Naruto gazes up at the black sky, takes a shower, or stares at me for long, painful minutes with his big blue eyes contrasting in the darkness. His gaze is … physical, and I feel it crawl over my skin like a wandering, unwanted hand.

Like a hyperactive child, he wants to play with me, to the point that he prevents me from reading by covering my eyelids or my book that he snatches from my hands. I can refuse, ask him to leave me alone, but he ignores all my verbal orders by jumping on me and capturing me in his embrace… I find myself playing stupid games of all kinds like that of the snapping of the hands…

I try to keep him busy with playful puzzles, but he quickly finishes them all and waits for me to congratulate him. Naruto is gifted and despite what they believed about him for a good part of his life, he's very intelligent. The hypothesis I'm thinking of is that he has an attention deficit disorder or something that prevents him from focusing, especially during more … calm and mental activity.

I taught him to play a card game, and he quickly took a liking to it. He now asks me for play sessions every night, which aren't boring; it also helps me pass the time. I offered him suitable reading for him, but he refuses, grumbling. Either way, I don't intend to give him my favourite novels.

In addition to her visits to inquire about my physical condition, Sakura did some errands for me. Also, she started bringing me flowers—something she always does when a friend is recovering in the hospital. This would be my case if it weren't for the unstable creature that I shelter in my home.

These floral offerings once meant to me are soon to be for Naruto, especially after his heightened enthusiasm for the first one. The blond seems to enjoy sweet scents and perfumes now; seeing him smell these, staying for long minutes in front of them several times a night, that's understood. From this, we were capable of discovering the reason why he has a nasty habit of intensely sniffing Sakura.

He's only interested in her smell when she wears perfume. Otherwise, he doesn't sniff her. The day he pinned the flower in my hair, that's irrefutable. To be sure, I put on some perfume and got the same nasty treatment of having a Naruto sniffing at me long and deep … and way, way too close. Sakura ditched her cosmetics to avoid awkward moments with the feral boy who hasn't done it again since.

After nearly a week, no sooner had she entered than Naruto was already stretching out his hands to welcome the next flower offered. Seeing that Sakura didn't have one this time, he started to sulk while isolating himself in my room; he hid under my sheets and emitted loud complaints, while noisily beating his tail. His behaviour as an unbearable spoiled brat drew a sigh of exasperation from us. To make him stop, I had to scold him and tell him to shut up.

Naruto has a tendency to cling to recurring things and habits he knows. He experiences frustration when there's change, especially the more sudden ones. I have to be careful that he doesn't lock himself into a routine from which he can no longer extricate himself without mental distress. This forces me to vary his daily life.

I'm still a bit weak, but this week of rest was necessary.

My head recovered as did my body, although it isn't perfect.

I'm ready to face the hurricane impatient to pick me in its violence.

- XxX -

Guilt is a stubborn poison whose only antidote is acceptance.

Since that confusing night during which only abstract and blind bridles persisted, Naruto could not help but fret, although he hid it from Kakashi, so as not to worry him. He knew the terrible harm he had done when his body and mind had ceased to be his; at that, the pungent smell of Kakashi's crimson liquid had ingrained itself in his nostrils forever.

Kakashi's overly white skin betrayed the wounds inflicted, Kakashi's wobbly gait reflected the consequences of his fangs in the delicate skin, and Kakashi's incessant tremors expressed the weakness and illness that enslaved Kakashi's body. By his fault, Kakashi was suffering. Unable to accept the suffering caused by this darkness that was hiding in him, Naruto released tears under the artificial rain, which carried them away in its unexplained disappearance.

Sleep and warm proximity to the precious human in his eyes allowed him to forget his devastating torments most of the time.

Naruto was careful and gentle with Kakashi, since Kakashi was very weak. Unfortunately, the excitement and joy, especially during playtime, made him forget the feverish state in which Kakashi was; he always realized too late that his brute strength or sharp claws were damaging Kakashi's sturdy body, which took time to recover given that he devoured his chakra at dawn.

Fortunately, the human creator of miracles who answered to the name of Sakura came every day to treat the ugly wounds. Her flowery and delicate scent aroused curiosity in the teenager, but when it disappeared, confusion invaded his mind. However, this confusion did not last. She brought floral entities with bewitching aromas that Naruto adored and allowed him to dive into an abstract universe, in which fear and suffering did not exist; only the image, smell, and voice of Kakashi could sneak in.

He had been in a wrath when she had come empty-handed. He could not understand why she had suddenly stopped her offerings of sweet fragrances he loved. His bouquet had begun to die, the scents faded with the death of these flowers unjustly uprooted from the earth.

Naruto wondered if death was similar to those of these plants unable to persist in this watery matter and empty of nutrients essential to their survival. Would he too wither like those flowers when his time came? Not being able to know it unless old age marked his ever-young skin, he had forgotten these existential and useless questions and he did not care.

Only Kakashi's life mattered to him.

Kakashi finally shared his nocturnal routine and there were no words, no sound to describe the joy that devoured the blond plunged into an unspeakable euphoria. Finally, he was enjoying every second of his daily life, of his time with Kakashi. He was awake and not half-sleepwalking due to his body responding to the call of slumber with the presence of this luminous ball in the blue sky.

Naruto was patiently waiting for Kakashi's recovery to visit and discover this distant world beside him. In his most inconceivable abstract dreams, he wished to leave this urban environment invaded by humans in the company of Kakashi. Where would he and Kakashi go? He did not know, but far, far away from this place in which these humans he hated were, although he managed to tolerate them thanks to Kakashi very close to him. The only void from such a departure would be Shikamaru who by the way, he missed a bit towards the end of many nights.

Shikamaru was nice to him and did not stare at him like the others. He was the one who had found his precious necklace which no longer left his neck. His territory pleased him a lot and the tranquility made him feel at ease. But nothing came close to the one he lived in with Kakashi, though he wished their den was more like Shikamaru's than a stifling prison. Apart from that strangely familiar green plant in the precious nest, the absent greenery left a void in him.

The nocturnal loneliness that was finally a thing of the past, his sleepy moments were preciously shared with Kakashi. Kakashi had started covering the window with fabrics; it blocked the light from penetrating the darkened room that chased away his daytime terrors. Tightly embracing Kakashi out of fear that Kakashi would disappear, Naruto wasted no time in sinking soon after the effects of his venom poured into Kakashi's body, enough to keep him sleeping through the day, allowing him to recover faster.

During the brief periods of the day when he was awake, the feral boy drank water… However, not knowing the difference, he drank from the nearest source when thirst tore at him. Sometimes he quenched his thirst with that of the toilet when it was not soiled with his urine. Then he observed Kakashi and watched over Kakashi; sometimes squatting on the edge of the bed, sometimes sitting on him. After fighting the urge to free Kakashi's face of that frustrating cloth, as a show of tenderness and affection, Naruto offered him a kiss on his forehead—rather, he licked it gently.

This lick was a kiss for the sapphire-eyed boy; a show of love that only Kakashi was worthy of receiving, although Kakashi was sleeping and unable to return it.

Patient, he knew that one day or another Kakashi would return this mark of affection.

The blond then stuck to Kakashi to find Morpheus's arms. Since he always woke up before him, he waited patiently for Kakashi to open his eyes to embrace him with all his limbs. Sadly, the only times the awakening was shared were the horrifying nightmares of a nameless terror that unconsciously spawned lightning bolts, inadvertently electrocuting the precious human in his eyes.

Shaken by this mental abuse and the wounds offered to Kakashi, Naruto could only cry. He let himself be lulled by the gentle embrace of Kakashi, who forgave him his artificial storms that his body of lightning could generate against his will. At his touch, Kakashi's hands in his blond mane, his voice… All this was enough to make these mischievous dreams disappear, banish them in his Pandora's box that he intended to keep sealed forever.

Because with Kakashi, there was no pain or fear.

Because with Kakashi, the dark lights disappeared.

Because Kakashi was his world of luminous darkness.