It had been a long day. Most of the days recently had been. With Dutch and the others lost after the bank robbery in Saint Denis you, Sadie and Charles had been rounding up the other members of the gang and helping keep them safe and alive. It had been tough, but you and Sadie had managed, Sadie had taken to leadership well and you couldn't help but admire her strength and resilience.

"It's a little late," you said as you stood outside the general store in Valentine. The light blue of the sky had crept away and fallen into night without you or Sadie realising and the store was shut for the evening.

"Yeah, guess it is" Sadie fiddled with her blue necktie for a second "Let's get rooms at the hotel, c'mon." Sadie began to walk in the direction of the Valentine hotel.

You grinned "We do deserve a treat after today I must say."

"That we do." Sadie looked back, and she smiled. It was the most you had seen Sadie smile in weeks, you couldn't help but stare at the way the blood covering her cheeks crinkled and the way her eyes twinkled in the low light.

You caught up to her quickly and walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.

It really had been a day.

You had been heading into Valentine to find any information you could on Pinkerton movement, or if the other gang members had gotten into contact. It was supposed to be an easy, quiet, day. And it had been on the ride from Lemoyne, all lush green grass and blue sky. It had been lovely to get out of the stifling swamp for once, and you had been looking forward to spending time with Sadie too.

The sun had been high in the sky when 3 men rode toward you. Guns raised and venom in the voices they had attempted to rob you.

Attempted.

With one small look to Sadie you had both grabbed your pistols and killed the men before they could even blink. They had been so close that you had felt the blood splatter from their deaths catch on your skin and clothes. Sadie got the brunt of it though and the freckled skin of her face now sported bright red splotches of blood.

Sadie decided that you would simply keep riding, and trying to ignore the adrenaline rushing through your veins, and the way your hands had begun to shake, you had agreed. It felt like the last week or so had been constant gun fights, constant death, and constant worry.

Hosea, Lenny… you stopped yourself before the thoughts got too devastating. You and Sadie had a job to do.

You were both still covered in blood as you approached the small hotel. A warm bath and a cosy bed after a day of riding and bloodshed was just what you needed.

Sadie walked ahead of you and opened the door, holding it for you as you entered.

"We'd like two rooms," Sadie stated plainly to the receptionist.

"I'm sorry ladies" the man looked at your attire, and the blood marking both your faces for a second and raised his eyebrows "We-we only have one room available tonight. If you would be okay with sharin-"

You and Sadie shared a look, yes, you shared a bed roll next to each other nearly every night. But sharing a bed? A room? That was something else entirely.

"We can share" She took a breath "I suppose."

Your heart caught in your throat. You nodded; it would be fine. It was just a night.

The receptionist handed you a key and the two of you headed up the stairs.

You'd been riding with the Van Der Linde gang for years now, killing and robbing and yet as you turned the key in the door you felt the most nervous you had perhaps ever felt. Some big bad outlaw you were.

It was no secret that you and Sadie were close, after she'd joined the gang you had been there for her, helped her adjust, and you had been one of the first people she'd been out robbing with after she had swapped cooking for a gun. You were friends, good friends, but you could never quite help, or understand the way your stomach flipped when you were around her.

The way she would lift a cigarette to her lips when you were sat around the campfire, the way her hands flexed when she would sharpen her knife and the way she casually leaned against the walls at Shady Belle while keeping her eyes on you. It would make your skin flush warm and red every time.

You had no clue what to do with those feelings, so would bury them deep and focus on your work. But now, as you entered the room, your walls started to come crashing down.

You both removed your hats and placed them down, Sadie walked to the chest of draws at the side of the room immediately.

"Good to finally wash this off," Sadie muttered and moved to a basin of warm water that was placed on the chest of draws. She grabbed a cloth and started to scrub at her skin.

Without thinking and without hesitation your hand was on hers. Sadie's eyes went wide and her lips parted slightly.

"I-here let me." You all but whispered.

To your surprise her gaze softened and she let go of the cloth and handed it to you. You dipped it into the water and wrung it out, attempting, and failing, to calm yourself.

Hardly breathing you stepped closer and raised the cloth to her face, you were so close to her now that you could feel her warm breath on your hand. You began to move the cloth over the blood on her face, keeping your eyes on your work. Her freckled, tan, skin began to reveal itself under your touch.

You could feel her eyes burning into you, your skin grew warm, and you knew even without looking at yourself in the nearby mirror that a blush had crept across your cheeks.

You wiped away the blood on her cheeks, taking care to be as tender and thorough as you could. It was soon time to clean the blood from her forehead.

You raised your eyes to catch hers, fighting desperately to keep them there. Her eyes, all warm and brown, were glowing in the candlelight. You let out a precarious breath as you stared. You struggled to swallow for a second and flicked your eyes to her forehead. It was then you realised you would need to move her hair. Hesitantly you raised a hand and moved her sandy hair out of the way. Her hair was just as soft as it looked.

You couldn't help but take her in for a moment, the way her lips were slightly pulled into a smirk and her eyebrows were raised just a little.

You continued best you could, and before long you were done.

You began to step away, embarrassment flooding your senses, when you felt her hand wrap around your wrist.

She held it near her face, the cloth still clenched in your hand.

"C'mere, you've got a little on you too." Sadie reached for the cloth and you let her take it.

The sound of water dripping back into the basin filled the silence and she moved closer to you, closer than you had been to her just moments ago.

One of her hands shifted to hold your chin still between her fingers and you felt the warmth of the water move across your skin.

Your eyes flickered away and took this as the opportune time to take in the room you were stood in. It was a good size, a few plush furnishings on the bed and floor. There were a few lamps and candles on the surfaces that created a golden, homely light to the room. The bed itself you saw was small, the man at the desk certainly hadn't mentioned that. You heard your heartbeat swell in your ears, which were almost certainly redder than the blood you had spilled earlier that day.

"All done," she whispered and moved the cloth away from you, the cloth brushed against your lips as she did. You pulled your eyes from the room and looked back to her as she spoke. Her eyes fell to your lips for a second before she traced them back to your eyes.

You couldn't tell in the low light of the room, but you could swear her skin looked flushed.

"I-." Her nose crinkled a little, she had pulled the cloth away, but had stayed just as close as she had been, you could feel the heat of her body radiating against yours

You stayed like that for a moment, finding yourself look to her lips as she looked at yours.

Oh.

Oh.

In a split second you had both moved away from each other. You shuffled on your feet and regarded her. Sadie's jaw clenched, and she looked away, walking towards the windows to close the curtains. She sat on the edge of the bed and you swallowed.

She started to let her hair out from its braid. You stood there like an idiot watching her fingers work for far too long. She looked up to you as she separated her hair and you realised how odd you must look. You hastily walked to the chest of draws and placed the cloth back in the basin. You looked to the mirror before you faced Sadie again, you had been right about your blush, it had spread across your cheeks and ears, and your pupils were wide and blown out. You silently told yourself that it was just dark and hot in here, that was all.

Turning around you saw that Sadie had finished with her hair and was removing her gun belt. You couldn't help but watch her do it as you removed yours in turn. Neither of you spoke as you removed any extraneous clothing, her scarf and boots came off. You let your jacket and boots fall to the ground.

It was then that your remembered how small the bed was, watching Sadie look at it too. There was no way you would both fit on it without practically cradling each other. The image of being laid next to Sadie in her chemise and draws filled your head and you felt sweat begin to gather on your back.

"Listen, I can take the floor, just hand me a pillow," you let out a small laugh, hoping she didn't notice the glow of your skin.

"No. No, I'll take the floor, here," Sadie got up and grabbed a pillow, she then patted the bed and motioned for you to take her place.

You shook your head, "Sadie no-"

"Honey, you take the bed, I ain't taking no for an answer."

Honey. Your throat went dry.

"Sadie, you've done so much for us all recently, you deserve the damn bed." You walked over to her as she stood clutching a pillow in her hands.

"Christ girl would you just get in the damn bed, don't act like you haven't been working harder than any of us." Sadie chided.

You couldn't stand to see her sleep on the floor, god you had both done it a million times, but it felt so wrong. You wanted her to be comfortable, to be able to let go of some of the responsibility she had been carrying for these past weeks.

So you steeled yourself and grabbed the pillow from her arms, throwing it back on the bed. "Let's just both sleep in the bed," You mentally kicked yourself, "It won't be too cramped-I think."

Sadie nodded, you noticed that her pupils were dilated too, and there almost certainly was a pale pink spattering of colour on her cheeks.

"Sure." She shook her head and walked towards the bed.

You sat on the side of the bed, she lowered herself beside you. She began to unbutton her shirt, you couldn't move. As she pulled it from her shoulders she peered back to you.

"You know. I have seen you in just your chemise before."

Scrambling to undo the buttons of your shirt you laughed, trying to hide your embarrassment, and trying not to stare at her exposed skin. It was then that you realised your hands were shaking. You fiddled with the same button for what felt like an eternity.

She snorted, before she glanced down at your hands and noticed the trembling.

Her hands were on yours in seconds, you looked in her eyes, once again captivated by her. You didn't look away this time, apart from to flick your eyes to her lips. She began to unbutton your shirt with skilled hands.

As she pulled at one of the top buttons a finger accidentally brushed against the exposed skin of your chest. A shiver ran up your spine. She made quick work of the other buttons.

You knew Sadie still mourned her husband. You knew you should not feel this way about another woman. You had no idea if she even felt the same way. But you couldn't deny that you wanted, needed, to put your lips to hers.

As you pulled your shirt from your chest you could not help but keep your eyes on her. She had not moved away yet, and you were nearly touching once again.

A moment passed in silence before you shifted your body slightly and pressed you lips to hers. It was a split second of contact and it ended as quickly as it began.

Your eyes went wide. "I'm sorry," you managed to mumble and fighting the embarrassment coursing through you, you got up to leave.

Sadie grabbed you your arm as you stood and you came face to face with the woman. Your breathing was coming in ragged and heavy, but even in your state of shame you noticed hers was too.

Slowly, tortuously slowly, she leaned in and placed her lips back to yours.

The softness of her lips, the smell of her, the warmth of her body was all that filled your thoughts. You moved a hand to her hair, intertwining your fingers in the smooth locks as the kiss became deeper. She kissed you back with the passion you had admired from afar for so long, her fingers were placed gently on your cheek.

She dragged herself away, her eyes remained shut for a second, "I don't know if I can give you what you need."

She rested her forehead to yours, "But…I'd like to try."

Nodding, your eyelashes fluttering lightly, you tangled your hand with the hand on your cheek and brought it to your lips.

A/N- cross posted to AO3