It was close to midnight on a Thursday, and ordinarily, Nagano Nights Arcade would be closing its doors and shooing out the remaining patrons. But this night, the establishment was still open, with every patron crowded around a corner in the back, where the Belzerg Battle Bots console was erected.
The game itself was a new one, supposedly an import from overseas, though where had not been specified. It was a custom game, with a full rig that read the player's motions, as well as a VR headset that simulated the sights and sounds of the battlefield of the future. Near the hatch to the game was a life size poster of a woman with blue hair and a weird hair ornament, dressed in a blue plugsuit. A speech bubble declared that whoever was able to beat the game would become an ace pilot, and "win a trip to space!"
The game had been set up for three months, but no one had managed to beat it yet. A few patrons had gotten to the final level, but none of them had been able to beat the Space Demon Lord's final form and claim the grand prize. There had been a nearly successful run earlier in the evening by Lia, but now one of the local hotshots, a college dropout named Kazuma Sato was on the final level, and it looked like he might just take home the prize.
"Come on, Kazuma, you can do it! I have ¥ 500 riding on you!" one of the patrons shouted, raising a fist.
"He's cheating! Kazuma always cheats! He's figured out an exploit!" another one of the regulars declared.
The owner just stood there, watching as Kazuma's rig bucked and shuddered, taking damage. "He's finished."
"No, I can do it!" Kazuma declared, sweat pouring down his forehead. He had spent nearly his entire earnings from his job at Lawsons on the mech, money he was supposed to be saving up to get his own place. His parents kept threatening to cut him off and kick him out, but Kazuma insisted on continuing his NEET lifestyle after he'd dropped out of college. He'd had the scores to get into a good school, but he'd gone with a local one instead. Now, though, all his endless practice on Belzerg Battle Bots was paying off, he could feel it.
He was on the final form of the Devil King, who had gone through three previous forms. It was a bit cliche, as the Space Devil King looked like a pallet swap of Frieza with his second and third forms switched. Still, on the last form, he had incredible speed and HP, and most players had a hard time keeping up.
Kazuma had chosen what was seen as the weakest mech for this run: a small, agile craft that could take a lot of specialized gear and support items, but lacked firepower or durability. It relied instead on powerful combinations of gear, but was prone to running out of ammunition and energy if you didn't get lucky on power ups and drops.
Kazuma, however, had gotten very lucky, as he always did. He grinned as a lucky critical hit was rewarded with an energy powerup, restoring his shields and special abilities. He fired off a gravity beam to slow down the Devil King, then used a combo move with a Matter Hammer to deal bonus damage.
"Just a little more…" Kazuma gasped, his hands trembling. He'd been in the cockpit for hours now, and was running on caffeine and a waning adrenaline high.
Even with his skills and gear, Kazuma was wearing down, and the Devil King had half a life bar left. One more hit would finish him, and he was also nearing the time out limit, after which the Space Devil King would unleash his ultimate move and destroy the moon of Axel, ending Kazuma's run.
Just as the timer was ticking down the final seconds, a rare power up appeared. The crowd gasped: it was the Golden Eris Gun, a special weapon that massively increased your critical rate and made every hit super effective. Kazuma gleefully grabbed it, then went to town on the boss, chewing through the remaining hit points. He raced against the ticking clock, and his plummeting energy meter.
"TEN!" someone shouted as the countdown began. The others took it up.
"NINE!"
Kazuma got off another combo move, barely dodging a bullet hell attack.
"EIGHT!"
He raced forward, willing himself to deal that last little bit of damage before his powerup ended.
"SEVEN!"
The Devil King began another attack animation, one that would deal a short ranged but powerful burst of damage.
"SIX!"
Gritting his teeth, Kazuma dove in, striking furiously.
"FIVE!"
The last bit of health vanished, just as the Devil King unleashed the attack that would end Kazuma.
"FOUR! HE'S DEAD!"
At first, the crowd wasn't sure if it was Kazuma or the Devil Kin who had been vanquished, as the screens on the outside went to black, and the mechanical rig stiffened, then began to power down.
"Better luck next time!" a heckler laughed.
Then, a weird song began to play, and fireworks went off. The blue haired girl from the poster appeared, floating amidst the blackness of space, before a sea of stars sprang forth.
"Congratulations! You are truly a gifted and talented mecha pilot! I, Aqua, the Goddess of Belzerg, thank you for saving the system!"
Everyone, even the doubters, roared with pleasure, and began to chant, "KA-ZU-MA! KA-ZU-MA!"
Pumping his fist, Kazuma hit the release bar. Nothing happened, but he smiled and waved, reaching up to take off his VR headset.
But then, there was a click, and new straps sprang out of the headset, locking it onto Kazuma's head. New bars sprang out, trapping him more firmly in the rig.
"Woah, what's happening?!" Kazuma demanded.
"Please, for your safety, step back. Clear the mecha. Takeoff procedures have been initiated," the blue haired woman said.
Kazuma struggled, trying to free himself, but bonds tightened around his arms and legs, locking him in place. "Wait, what?!"
Hidden panels opened up, and plates began to attach to the mecha rig, until it resembled nothing so much as a small rocket ship. Some people stepped forward to bang on it, until small thrusters popped out of the bottom, and the whole thing began to shudder.
"Hero, you have proven yourself capable of defeating the Devil King!" Aqua cheered. "Now, get ready, for you are the savior that the Belzerg needs!"
"WHAT?! ARE YOU NUTS?!" Kazuma demanded, shaking wildly as the thrusters below him began to whine.
"Oh, poor thing," Aqua said sweetly, shaking her head. "You did read the terms and conditions, didn't you? You agreed to this."
"I DID NO SUCH THING!" Kazuma wailed. "NO ONE READS THE EULA!"
The rockets ignited, and Kazuma shrieked as he blasted through the roof of the arcade, then up through the stratosphere. He never stopped screaming even as he left Earth's orbit, and the craft began to spin.
"Hyperdrive, activating," Aqua said. "See you soon!"
"I WANT TO GO HOME!" Kazuma wailed, as a wormhole opened, and his little craft was sucked into the void. As a wave of power and gravity washed over Kazuma, he wet himself, then passed out.
An indeterminate amount of time later, Kazuma awoke with a start as his craft shuddered, then began to rapidly decelerate. He nearly blacked out from the G forces, but instead just felt drowsy and befuddled. Before he could regain his senses, his impromptu space craft clicked, then began to open.
"Welcome, Brave Hero, to the Belzerg system!" an all too familiar chipper voice declared as Kazuma blinked in the sudden bright artificial light. "You have been selected to- Oh wow, you stink!"
Kazuma's vision focused on the blue haired woman from the poster who had called herself Aqua. She was pinching her nose and glaring at him as the straps and restraints lifted from his arms. He was rather numb from the hours of confinement, so when the last one was released, he fell out of the mecha rig with a squawk and landed flat on his face.
"Ugh, I thought heroes would smell better. And look better," Aqua grumbled. "Did you…you pooped your pants!?"
"Hey, lady, YOU try being kidnapped, blasted off into a rocket ship, and then arriving only God knows where!" Kazuma complained, getting up on shaking legs. His throat felt like sandpaper, and his head was woozy. "How long was I even in that thing?"
"Um…" Aqua blushed and tapped her fingers together… "A day and a half…"
"And was there any food or water inside to keep me alive?!" Kazuma growled, stomping up to her.
"Um, I, er, didn't think of that…"
"Well you're lucky I'm alive then! What the hell is this about, anyway!? I beat the game so you kidnapped me?!"
"No! It said what would happen right on the poster! You beat the game, and you win the grand prize: a trip to space!" Aqua explained. Then she frowned at Kazuma. "...but let's get you cleaned off before I explain that."
Aqua pulled Kazuma over to a closet, which had strange glyphs on it. She shoved him inside, and the door slid shut behind him. An alien voice warbled at him in a weird language, and Kazuma let out a yell as he was sprayed with weird smelling liquid. His clothes immediately began to dissolve, the only bits that survived the metal in his buttons or zipper.
"HEY! Anti-Clothes beams are supposed to be for hot chicks, not me!" Kazuma compained, pounding on the door. He kept his eyes closed and tried not to swallow anything, not wanting that stuff inside his body. More sprays and liquids followed, and then Kazuma was blasted with warm air. The entire process lasted only a minute, then the door popped open and he fell out onto the floor mat outside.
"There! The decontamination chamber has you all cleaned up!" Aqua said happily. She dumped a bundle of clothes on Kazuma's head. "Put these on."
"Don't look at me! I'm naked!" Kazuma complained, trying to hide his embarrassment. As much as he was irritated at Aqua at the moment, she was still a beautiful…alien? Or something.
"Pff, nothing I haven't seen before. Just get dressed," Aqua said dismissively.
Hastily Kazuma scrambled into the clothes, which turned out to be a green colored jumpsuit in a futuristic style, with a black stripe down the sides. It actually looked a bit like the tracksuit that had just turned into goop, and was nearly as comfortable. The fabric though was strange, but it breathed well and was smooth against his skin so Kazuma didn't complain overly much.
"Alright lady," Kazuma croaked. "First: Food and water. Then, talk."
"Ugh, fine, here, you can have my bento," Aqua grumbled, handing Kazuma a plastic looking container and a flask of some sort.
Kazuma took a long pull of the flask, then coughed and wheezed as alcohol burned down his throat and fizz nearly came out his nose. "What is this, champagne?!"
"Maybe, I just call it bubbly," Aqua said with a shrug. "You're lucky I'm sharing with you."
Kazuma opened the container next, which turned out to have a rather familiar meal inside: Tuna and Rice with Mayo. It wasn't bad, far from it, but…Kazuma had expected something a little more exotic. Still, the booze was pretty good, and the food hit the spot, so once he polished it off, Kazuma stood and nodded.
"Alright, explain."
"You won the game, so you've proven you have what it takes to be a top class Mecha pilot!" Aqua said happily. "I sent those games to several planets, but yours has been the most productive by far! Indeed, Japan is the country that's harvested the most worthy recruits out of any! You guys must be as good at piloting mecha as your TV shows claim! You're like the great hero Kamina, or perhaps the American Coop!"
"Kamina? Like…from Gurren Lagann?" Kazuma asked, puzzled. "Who the hell is Coop?"
"He's the pilot of Megas XLR, a great hero who defeated many foes," Aqua said.
"You…you do realize…" Kazuma looked into Aqua's eyes, and saw the back of her head. No. No she did not realize those were fake. "Er, yes. Kamina's a…real inspiration to us all."
"Great! Well, since you have proven yourself, I'm presenting you to the Galactic Federation as one of my chosen champions! You'll be given an Ace Custom, and sent to the Belzerg system to help save it from the Space Devil King," Aqua said, in a tone that indicated this should be painfully obvious.
Kazuma processed this for a moment, slowed down by the copious amount of alcohol he'd just ingested. "So…so you're saying…I'm basically an anime protagonist, like from Gundam or Getter Robo?"
"No, not like Gundam. Those make me too sad! I like the happy ones better," Aqua told him.
Holy shit, I've just been isekai'd, Kazuma thought to himself. And I didn't even have to get acquainted with Truck-Kun first.
"At your service, my lady," Kazuma said, saluting seriously.
"Well, I'm glad you understand the gravity of the situation. Come on! I'm sure to get a promotion for this, I've found way more ace pilots than anyone else recently! Once I save Belzerg, I'm totally going to be ranked up to Sector Commander from Senior Commander! Then I'll be rolling in the dough!"
Kazuma glared at the back of Aqua's head as she led him out of the small hanger bay they were in. So she was just exploiting him for cheap labor? He was just her meal ticket? What a bitch!
"I've helped save dozens of star systems by recruiting heroes," Aqua bragged. "I've been Employee of the Month for a year and a half straight!"
She pointed to a wall that had pictures of various attractive women, some of them alien, but most of them rather human looking. Kazuma couldn't read the script there, but the most recent pictures were all of Aqua, standing with what looked like a progression of various Japanese teenagers and college students, smiling in each of them. Her uniform DID get fancier as time went on, and she had several medals on her jumpsuit now that seemed to indicate she'd been doing well.
"Yep! There's no one better at saving systems than me! Why, I've personally liberated more than anyone but the most senior GFs."
Kazuma snickered at that. "How much is a GF? Ten thousand GP?"
"Huh? What do you mean?" Aqua asked, pausing and frowning at him.
"Oh come on, you can't tell me you've never heard anyone saying 'Buying GF, 10k," Kazuma said.
"You know, the real NEETs from Japan, the total losers who can't save a system, they say stuff like that," Aqua said suspiciously. "You're not a loser NEET, right? You're actually a talented mecha pilot? I've been making the game harder so that I only get people who can actually earn me a promotion."
"Hey! I beat the game, didn't I?" Kazuma demanded. He puffed out his chest. "I'll have you know, my guild is one of the top rated in MechWarrior Online, and I've personally led hundreds of raids deep into enemy territory to seize their bases!"
"Oh, well, that's OK then! Sorry for doubting you. It's just that you really sounded like a Virgin NEET when you complained earlier, especially about me seeing you naked. A real man would want to show off for a beautiful woman like me. Though with what you have, I understand why you'd be embarrassed," Aqua said dismissively. She'd turned around, so she missed the look of murderous rage on Kazuma's face.
"I'm a grower, not a shower," Kazuma muttered under his breath.
"They all say that. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find someone someday who doesn't mind," Aqua told him, not turning around.
Kazuma decided right then and there he was going to get Aqua back, one way or another. Even if she had made his greatest dream (aside from getting laid) come true and isekai'd him, that was a dirty thing to say.
Aqua led Kazuma through gleaming blue steel halls with plush red carpet. There were a few viewports, and Kazuma caught glimpses of various ships, as well as the vast size of the ship he was on. In the distance, he could see a gas giant with several orbiting moons.
"Wow, are we on a space station, or a carrier?" Kazuma asked, peeking out as Aqua slowed her stride slightly.
"We're on the GF flagship, the Hyperion. It's a huge carrier that houses thousands of mecha and a million GF personnel! It travels through space, going wherever it is needed most to defend freedom and life throughout the galaxy! We're the greatest force opposing the Space Devil King."
"Yeah, about that. He's not just a Freiza recolor, is he?" Kazuma asked.
"Don't be silly. There's no such thing as Ki energy, or magic. It's all science, obviously," Aqua said hastily, and blushed for some reason that escaped Kazuma. Was she embarrassed he'd caught her in ripping off her game's antagonist?
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic," Kazuma quoted.
"Right! Yes! I keep telling people that. So, obviously, I don't do magic, I'm just super smart and great at the science stuff! It's, um, nanomachines! Clearly," Aqua told him.
"Er, sure. Whatever you say. So, like, no newtypes or espers?" Kazuma asked.
"No," Aqua told him quickly. "That's, um, all a fairy tale. Stop asking dumb questions!"
"Sure…Where are we going, anyway?" Kazuma asked. They'd been walking for several minutes, and he was rather winded. He rarely walked any farther than he had to. The convenience store he was a part timer at was a block from his house, and the arcade was only a few hundred feet beyond that. He avoided anything that resembled strenuous activity at all costs. Well, except playing games.
"Right there! It's the evaluation room, where you'll be tested, then you will be matched up with a mecha and ship that suits you, before being sent to the Belzerg system to stop the Space Devil King," Aqua said.
"Question: If there's a 'Space' Devil King, is there like…a regular Devil King?" Kazuma asked as Aqua led him into a small room that had several monitors, and a setup similar to the Belzerg Battle Bots game in one corner.
"No! Clearly not, just the various Space ones," Aqua told him. "Now, let's get you hooked up!"
"Do you have to? Doesn't me beating the game count? Can't you like…input the data from that or something so we can skip it?" Kazuma asked, frowning at the idea of having to undergo a test. He hated tests, or any sort of actual work. He spent most of his time at Lawsons reading manga, since he always asked for the graveyard shift with the fewest customers.
"Hmmm…yeah, let's do that! The testing is super boring for me anyway, I usually just nap," Aqua said. "I'll just approximate your values from the test…" her fingers flew across the strangely marked keyboard, characters Kazuma didn't recognize flashing across the screen.
"Hey, what language is that? How do you speak Japanese, but this is all some alien tongue?" Kazuma asked.
Aqua let out a squeak and jumped up. "I DON'T HAVE SPEAK IN TONGUES! I TOLD YOU, IT'S NANOMACHINES!"
"Super. Can I like…get some so I can speak the lingo and stuff?" Kazuma asked, nonplussed.
Aqua hesitated, then glanced at the computer, then up at a small device that was probably a camera of some sort. "Er, I don't normally share my…nanomachines…but I forgot to do this earlier since you reeked, so, um…here…"
Aqua put her hand on Kazuma's chest and muttered something under her breath. A blue glow suffused him, and his mind went blank for a moment. Then he cried out in pain as information flooded it, clutching his head. After a period of time he couldn't quite grasp, he blinked, and looked around the room. Suddenly, he could read all the signs, and understand the characters on the keyboard as if it were his native tongue.
"Oh, wow, that's really cool!" he said, though not in Japanese, but in a strange language.
"Yeah, don't worry, you'll get used to speaking Galactic Standard. Just don't think about it too hard and you'll match whatever everyone else is speaking," Aqua told him.
"Wow, those must be some nanomachines! The Galactic Federation's tech is really advanced," Kazuma commented.
"Um, yes. Definitely. Now, let's finish getting you your mech and ship and get you on your way!" Aqua told him.
Kazuma sat down as Aqua pecked away at the keyboard. Apparently, that was the best way for even a very advanced civilization to input information…though hunt and peck was probably not nearly as efficient as touch typing. He smirked at Aqua's back. Amateur.
"OK! First off, let's choose your ship and equipment! You can select anything here, or put in a custom order! That might take a little longer, but I'm super amazing at fulfilling them! They call me the Goddess of Customs! Not that I'm actually a goddess! That would be silly," Aqua said, laughing nervously.
"Er, right. Sure," Kazuma said, and started browsing through the mecha.
As he did, Aqua leaned back in her chair, and took out a device that seemed a lot like a smartphone. Her thumbs started tapping away, and Kazuma saw she was alternating between texting and playing some sort of mindless game.
He went back to looking through options on mecha and ships, but was distracted when Aqua started talking.
"Hey Eris! I'm nearly done with this latest 'hero.' Yeah, it's another Japanese Earthling. They're just so easy to recruit! Even if some of them fail, it's not percentages, but total numbers the higher ups care about! You want to grab some food after? I'm starving! This jerk ate my bento."
"Because you nearly starved me to death!" Kazuma snapped.
Aqua made a shooing motion as another voice spoke out of her phone. "Aqua, you know that you're going to end up getting more of those poor people killed if you keep this up…even if management doesn't care, you should."
"Oh, they don't stay dead for long," Aqua said dismissively. "I just bring them back, or you do. Um, with our nanotech! Obviously. I er…injected Kazuma! He'll totally be OK even if he gets vaporized like that last one. We have the backups."
Vaporized? Last one? Was Kazuma just a schmuck being sent to die?!
"Hey, what do I get if I beat the Devil King? Do you send me back to Earth?" Kazuma asked.
"Only if you're super boring," Aqua said without looking up. "Most of you would rather stay with the people you help liberate. Don't worry, I make sure to send all my heroes to a species you're sexually compatable with. I checked your internet history while you were on your way. You're a bit of a furry, and somewhat a lolicon. You'll like the CDC and the beastkin on Belzerg, but it's mostly humans."
"YOU CHECKED MY BROWSER HISTORY!?" Kazuma demanded, hand going to his pocket. That's when he realized his phone was gone. "Where's my phone!?"
"Melted by now. It was in the decon chamber, which acts like you're irradiated and destroys everything in your pockets," Aqua told him.
Pure murder filled Kazuma's mind, but he took a deep breath and looked back. Murder AFTER he got a super awesome ace custom mecha.
"So, what about dinner, Eris? I was thinking we could go down to the Officer's Club and get some bubbly and sushi!" Aqua chatted.
"Yeah, sure. I just put in for my vacation time, what about you?" Eris asked.
"Yep! I'm on leave as soon as I'm done with this loser. It's been soooo long. I think we should go to a beach planet and just relax! I want to be pampered like the goddess…um, that I wish I was!"
"Really? Don't you want to…you know…do something more exciting? Like, sure, we're helping more people now…but don't you get bored just doing what amounts to office work?" Eris's voice asked.
"We'll make sure the planet has a casino or something, you'll have fun," Aqua promised. "And no way am I going back in the field. That's how people like us actually die!"
So Aqua was sending Kazuma off to die like a sucker without risking anything herself. She'd be on vacation, for crying out loud!
"So, you said I could ask for anything…does it have to be a mecha?" Kazuma asked.
"Those are the most effective combat units, but I guess you could ask, for, I dunno, a tank or fighter or something," Aqua told him.
"What about… a person?" Kazuma mused aloud.
"I mean, I guess? But no person can hope to match a mecha. Unless they're gonna build you one, but no one you could ask for could build one better than me," Aqua told him.
"Hmm hmm. And a ship?" Kazuma prompted, tabbing over to the "custom" screen while Aqua chatted with Eris and played on her phone.
"Ugh, stop bothering me! Eris and I are planning our relaxation time!" Aqua complained.
"And the ship?" Kazuma prompted.
"Yes, you can ask for a custom one! You don't HAVE to get a ship, but if you don't have a base that can fly around a system you'll have a hard time deploying your mecha unless you get FTL wings and atmo wings and stuff and that's totally too much effort. Plus, a ship can harvest resources and help you make money and stuff to buy supplies," Aqua told him.
"I see, I see…and do YOU have a ship?"
"Yep! My very own baby! I built her myself! She's called the Axis Queen!"
Kazuma quickly typed that in and found the ship, selecting it as his choice. "Says you have to approve it…"
"Ugh, just let me type that in," Aqua keyed in her approval code without looking up from her game. This was too perfect.
"And what's your serial number?" Kazuma asked innocently. "There's a survey, and they want me to rate my satisfaction with your performance as a recruiter."
Aqua rattled off a number, and Kazuma put that in under his "equipment" selection.
He submitted his request, and Aqua stood, stretching. "Great! They'll be contacting you in a few hours to approve things, and-"
The screen suddenly flashed, and a stern looking woman with green hair in a very fancy uniform appeared.
"Senior Commander Aqua, we have received your request," the woman said, her tone brisk and professional.
Aqua immediately straightened to attention and saluted. "Yes, Supreme Admiral CC?"
Blinking, Kazuma slowly stood up. "Wait, CC? Like, CC from-"
"I have approved your request. I must say, Commander Aqua, you show a great deal of initiative, and do the Galactic Federation Proud," Admiral CC said. Ok, that was totally the same witch. What the hell was going-
"Thank you, Commander. I think my skills have shown my worth, and this is a suitable reward!" Aqua declared, puffing out her chest.
"I agree. The others will be a bit jealous, and I wouldn't normally approve this much time, but…well. You've shown yourself capable. And someone else would like to earn Commander of the Month for once."
"Well, I'd be happy to take extra time, just so long as they know the title is mine when I get back! I bet Kazuma will help me earn another one!" Aqua laughed.
"Indeed. I'll be dispatching you both to Belzerg immediately. CC out." The screen went blank, and Aqua smiled, turning toward the door.
"Yep, have fun saving the Belzerg system, Kazuma I- wait. Hold on."
Aqua went back to the screen and pressed some buttons as Kazuma stretched and grinned. "...well, that's weird. Why are you coming on my ship for my vacation?"
"Maybe they want me to be your valet. The Admiral seemed really impressed with you," Kazuma suggested innocently.
"Huh. Well, you really should go save Belzerg…eh, someone else will handle it! I'd like having a servant! Don't worry, I'll treat you nice, and tip you and stuff. I'm great to work for!" Aqua bragged.
"I'm sure you are," Kazuma said, grinning smugly.
Aqua led him through various hallways and down several elevators. They passed a number of very attractive women in similar uniforms, and Kazuma began to assume that GF really DID stand for "Girl Friend."
"Good luck Aqua, enjoy your trip!" several said.
"Thanks, I will!" Aqua said, waving happily.
"I'm so jealous. What an assignment! You really are something else," another commander said.
"Yep! I'm the best!" Aqua agreed.
"I hope you get killed, you brownnosing suck up," someone else snarled.
"Screw you, Echidna! You're just jealous!" Aqua said, making a rude gesture to the pale haired woman, who flipped Aqua off with both fingers.
Aqua led Kazuma to a docking bay, and out the window he saw a great ship, one that looked more like a luxury yacht than the sleek warships around it. It gleamed with gold and blue paint, and had long wings like a swan, the metal of its underbelly rippling like water.
"Wow. Now that's a ship," Kazuma said, nodding to the Axis Queen.
"Yep! Come on! I'm sure you're disappointed you didn't get to go save a system right away, but this will be super fun. I love vacations!" Aqua sighed.
At the docking bay, they were met by a boy with silver hair, dressed in a jumpsuit and with dark goggles on, carrying several bags. His face was obscured by a hood he had pulled down, but Kazuma could see a few wisps of silver hair peeking out.
"Ensign Chris Fortuna, reporting for duty, ma'am," the boy said, saluting. He had a high falsetto voice, almost like a girl's.
"Oh wow, are you Eris's valet? Kazuma's mine," Aqua bragged.
"Er, I'm your…uh, pilot, ma'am," Chris coughed, blushing slightly.
"Oh, OK! Normally, Eris flies, but I guess she really wants to take things easy. You can help with the bags, Kazuma," Aqua told him.
Kazuma frowned at the bags, then glanced at Aqua, who was tapping her foot impatiently. "Er, sure."
A bit of work now to sucker Aqua into this would totally be worth it. He was definitely going to torpedo her vacation plans, at least part of them. By the time they figured this out, and she went back, he'd have wasted days, or even weeks! Maybe even months! Then they'd give him a real mecha and he'd save Belzerg. Or get some other sucker to do it.
Kazuma hauled the bags aboard the ship with Chris. It was huge and spacious, with decadent furnishings and lavishly appointed rooms. Aqua declared she would take the state room for herself, but Kazuma figured he'd kick her out later and claim it for his own.
"I'm going to take a nap, tell Eris she can come on in when she gets aboard," Aqua said, and closed the door in Kazuma's face.
He turned to Chris. "Eris isn't coming, is she?"
"Everyone who's going is already aboard," Chris replied, shrugging.
"Super. Take off before she wakes up, OK?" Kazuma followed Chris up to the bridge, strapping himself into what he assumed was the commander's chair.
"All systems ready. Axis Queen to Hyperion, ready for departure. Prepare the wormhole," Chris said, pressing several buttons.
"Wormhole is hot, Queen. Good luck. Tell Commander Aqua we're proud of her," the command ship replied.
"Will do. Axis Queen…ugh…launching!" Chris declared, and stabbed a button.
The ship bucked, then snapped away from the docking tube that was already retracting. They drifted a bit, then maneuvering thrusters kicked in, and the ship gracefully pirouetted. A moment later, a great hole in reality opened up before them, and the Axis Queen was sucked in.
"So, how long will the Wormhole transit be?" Kazuma asked as the ship was fully consumed.
"Oh, two or three days, sir. The Axis Queen wasn't really built for speed. Bit of an odd choice, taking her into a combat zone," Chris said, his face contorting slightly. He sneezed twice, then smiled. "But I'm sure our Ace Pilot and Commander Aqua know what they're doing."
"Oh, I know what I'm doing," Kazuma said smugly. "Well, when Aqua wakes up from her nap, I'll tell her she's not going on vacation."
"Well, some might see it as a vacation! Away from a desk job, anyway. Plus, cut off from all contact and orders until the mission is complete…it'll be years before we hear from the GF again," Chris said, his tone…was that glee in it? Or smug satisfaction? Or was the kid just nervous and full of bravado?
"Uh huh…wait…years? What do you mean?" Kazuma asked, ice forming in the pit of his stomach.
"Oh, well, once you're launched on a mission, there's no way back. A ship this small doesn't have a wormhole generator, and with just FTL drive, you'd basically be stranded. Plus, the Belzerg system is really remote and underdeveloped. They don't have the fuel or generators for a jump that long. Yep, we'll be on our own until the GF sends a probe to check on us. Shouldn't be more than, oh, two or three years," Chris said, leaning back in his chair and putting his arms behind his head as he kicked his feet up on his console.
"Wait…we're stranded for years!? With the forces of the Space Devil King!?" Kazuma demanded.
"Yep! But you're an ace pilot, and I'm sure you and Commander Aqua will get us through," Chris said blithely. "I'm a pretty good pilot myself, maybe I can-"
"AQUA!" Kazuma screamed as he scrambled for the passenger cabins. "AQUA, WAKE UP! WE'VE GOT TO TURN THIS THING AROUND!"
"No breaks or brakes on a worm hole till the end," Chris chuckled, and pulled out a can of beer from their pack. "Here's to a fun vacation!" they toasted, and happily drained the whole thing when the other two occupants of the luxury yacht panicked.
