Sirius flung his body toward the staircase when he caught sight of the first step in the moonlight, his left foot slipping and sliding as he waved his arms around in an attempt to remain on one foot. Once balanced again, he darted up to the top of the Astronomy Tower.
He should have known, he should've read the signs, they were clear, right in front of him.
Sometimes, in my sleep . . . I' Jade fell silent, her blue eyes on the Charms book in front of her, unfocused, hands trembling with a quill between her fingers.
Sirius looked up from a confusing SA he was writing on the properties of unicorn blood, that he was positive they had done before, his brows drawn together in concern. 'What was it?' He asked her, fearing the answer. Jade always seemed to have nightmares just about every night, about the Sourting, or being pressured into getting the Dark Mark with the rest of her class mates, or her family rejecting her, or— well, he rather not think about that nasty little Ravenclaw from Hogsmeade.
She shook her head, 'just the Mark.'
She had seemed different, distracted more so than usual, not communicating much even with expression. He knew he should have been concerned the moment she had shaken her head and pulled his SA over, offering to write for him in peace, she usually made him do his own work then would review it. But no, distraction.
Sirius hadn't looked for her at breakfast in the Great Hall, no one knew about them, he thought. These days he didn't pay attention when passing the table of sneering, snarling, snakes, but when James had scoffed saying something about Everest thinking she was better than the lot of them he had looked. Lunch had been as dull as breakfast, if not more, and Sirius couldn't put his finger on the nagging feeling he had had all day.
She was missing.
Celeste.
His Celeste.
His aggravating, obnoxious Jade Celeste.
Sirius had forced the strange feeling in a little box, stumbling off to the library to look for her. Nothing.
She wasn't in their corner.
She wasn't hiding in the Restricted Section.
She wasn't in the abandoned classroom on the fourth floor he sometimes found her in staring out over the grounds.
And when he broke in the Prefect Bathroom she wasn't there, crying on the floor.
Sirius finally remembered the Map. The feeling had gotten worse, breaking free from the box he had buried it in, beginning to eat at him. He made his way up to Gryffindor Tower, hoping with fingers crossed that the Map was still in Remus' trunk. Clambering in through the portrait hole and almost falling on his face, Sirius had been relieved to find the common room empty so he could run up to his dorm without being questioned and hurriedly checked the Marauders Map.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," which wasn't entirely true, trust teenagers with anything, you'll get a kick.
Sirius exhaled slowly, watching as tiny dots began moving across the Map's surface, some moving from place to place and others staying put.
Some students were beginning to head to dinner, while James was sneaking off to the kitchens.
Remus and Lilly were still studying in the library.
Severus Snape, for some reason, was heading toward the seventh floor.
Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall were in Professor Dumbledore's office, the latter pacing in circles.
And Marlene McKinnon was running straight for Gryffindor Tower.
Sirius cursed under his breath, sweeping his eyes over the map again, the panic he felt growing a head. With one motion, the map was tucked away and Sirius was running from the dormitory, heart pounding in his ears. He scrambled out through the portrait of the Fat Lady, letting it slam behind him.
"By Merlin boy. Calm down!"
Sirius ignored her.
He should've thought of it, her, where . . . no-no-no-no-no. The way she had been acting, how she. . . she-she never ate, slept. Merlin, it was clear, but would she be up there? He didn't look on the map. Sirius forced himself not to turn back, not to go make sure, he needed to trust—
"Sirius! I am talking to you."
Sirius spun, hand shooting for his wand, annoyed that he had been so rudely interrupted. "What McKinnon? Make it quick," he snapped, not noticing the blondes glare.
She stepped toward him, pointing a finger at his chest. "I know about y— it's Jade, I found a book on the Dark Arts, removing scars and imprints of dark magic from the flesh. Didn't work," she grabbed his arm, "blood, an open book, a knife, one wand. It didn't work. The Astronomy tower, now."
Sirius had torn his arm from her and ran.
"You're the only one she might listen to," Marlene had told him.
Sirius watched how the shadows fell creating interwoven patterns with the silvery moon.
But his gaze traveled along the trail of moon and shadow, streaks of blood dotted here and there, until he found her. There, standing in front of the railing, with her back turned to him, hands gripping the railing tightly with a white knuckle hold, and slight tremors running through her body was the girl he was searching for, Jade. The moonlight cast a soft golden glow on her brunette waves, sending the rest of her small figure in dark shadows.
Sirius stood there, trying to think how to approach her. It was clear why she was there, he didn't want to believe it, didn't want her to go, he— Sirius took a deep breath, inhaling sharply through his nose. He could approach quietly, but then, he would risk startling her and possibly escalate the situation on hand.
No, he couldn't have that.
Sirius approached, coming from behind, not masking the sound of his footsteps. "Jade?" He whispered. Merlin, the blood, the tears.
Her left arm was a mangled mess, Marlene hadn't been lying. There was a long burn mark surrounded by several small yellowing blisters, three gashes crisscrossed over one another. Sirius felt sick watching the sluggish ooze of blood mixed with infection.
"D-did you do t-this?" He managed to push past his lips.
Jade didn't look at him, not once. She slowly nodded.
Sirius turned, so his back was against the rail, so he could better see her face.
Jade shifted from one foot to the other.
Tear tracks ran down her sickly pale cheeks, red flecks streaking through and around her blue eyes, her bottom lip swollen and bleeding from biting down on it. Sirius reached out, pulling the abused flesh from her teeth. Jade jerked away violently making him drop his arm back to his side.
Jade refused to meet his eyes, as small tremors ran through her body. And Sirius knew it wasn't from the cold.
"Why did you do it?" He finally asked, deciding not to start with what a beautiful night, that might result in a slap to the face, but then he might have felt better. She looked small, vulnerable to anything, or anyone, as though one wrong action would break her forever, sending her shattering into oblivion.
Jade inhaled sharply, and from Sirius' point of view, it looked painful, a rattling gasp. "I just want it gone, the taint-th-the— I d-don't want t-this th-thing," she waved the bloodied arm in the air, spraying them both with blood.
Sirius flinched back.
"You can't see it, you don't want to see it. How can I believe anything you say about second chances if you can't even look at it? How do you expect to have a serious relationship if you can't look at it? Shouldn't you accept my wrongs, my mistakes? I mean, come on, Sirius? What are we doing? This," she snatched at her arm, spraying more blood on her front, "this thing, apparently, has to.
Jade waved her other hand, "no, shut up, I'm talking right now."
Sirius shut his mouth with a click.
"This thing, apparently, has to go. Well," she gave a bitter laugh, that sounded broken and forced, "I can't find a way to cut or curse it from my arm . . . I do suppose I could use glamour charms, but that's beside the point. Why should I hide a part of myself? Even in the privacy of my studies?" She gave him a desperate look, "You're going to have to deal with plenty of," she gestured at her mangled arm, "you know?" She refused to say its name, "when you're an Auror. Am I n-not."
Sirius stepped toward her, Jade had looked away, her shoulders beginning to shake. "I'm . . . I-I'm sorry," he managed to choke out, his pride threatening to strangle him.
"Is that all?"
Sirius had to lean in to hear her, her voice was small and timid.
"I . . . I'm not good at this," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "you're right, about everything. If-if we're serious I should accept all of you, even the mistakes, the things you felt pressured into by the Sourting. What matters is that you recognize them and want to rectify them, not embrace them farther. I never— Jade, this miserable little world needs you . . . because um, you make it not so miserable," he stepped closer, grabbing the hand that wasn't covered in blood.
"You think you're oh so charming. Who sent you?"
Sirius couldn't help himself. "What do you mean?" He asked.
Jade looked up at him, her eyes still void of any light. "That night in the library?" She rolled her eyes, "no, up here, after me?"
"Marlene."
"Oh, she knows?"
"She's not exactly stupid."
"We're potion partners."
"Oh?"
"We talk about you, a lot."
Sirius stared at her.
Jade shook her head, "honestly, I thought your ego would get bigger."
"What?" Sirius looked flabbergasted.
"Maybe it's already too big," she said thoughtfully.
Sirius cleared his throat. "Okay, great, my ex girlfriend and current girlfriend talk about me. Don't try changing the topic. Jade, I'm worried about you. I know why you came up here," he said the last part more quietly.
Jade looked away, but didn't pull her hand from his grasp like he expected her to. "I know you are," she whispered.
Sirius finally closed the gap between them, placing one arm behind her back and the other around her waist and pressing her body against his.
Jade gasped, letting her head drop and buried her face in his robes.
Sirius clutched her close to him, thinking that he would never leave this tower alone, without her, with him.
Jade finally looked up at him.
He brushed hair back from her face, wiping the tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
"We never need to say much, do we?" She asked, her eyes had gone round in wonder, staring at him, her head slightly quirked to the side.
Sirius shook his head, gathering her closer. "No," he murmured before kissing her. The taste of tears and blood were what greeted him, but he pushed past it and discovered the sweet taste of the witch he appreciated more every day.
Finally, it was Everest who broke away. "Sirius, I don't feel good," she leaned her head against his chest, eyes fluttering closed.
Sirius leaned back, peering at Jade's left forearm, the infection had worsened, yellow blisters oozing green pus, and burned coloured scabbing flaking in with blood. "You have a serious infection," he felt her forehead, almost jumping back and wondering how he didn't notice the temperature when kissing her, "you seem to be running a high fever."
Jade nodded, drawing nearer for warmth, "I'm sorry."
Sirius kept his arm tight about her shoulders, "we need to go to the Hospital Wing."
And they headed down the stairs, to see friends, and to never go up there alone again. For this would be a night that would haunt the mind of the witch beside him for years to come.
