This is a missing scene from the first flashback in The Return: Sunday, Sunday.
It was written for the Fandom Diversity Fest on r/FanfictionExchange. The prompts were vision and light.
Words are a funny thing.
Said too frequently and they become meaningless.
Said too little or not at all can create wounds that are difficult to heal.
Audrey let go of his knee. She held up her hand, palm facing him with her index finger, pinkie, and thumb extended and the middle two fingers tucked down.
Shawn smiled at the sign language. He mirrored her sign.
"I love you, too."
-Autumn in Philadelphia: Stolen Souls Part 1
"You do?"
The "you" was directed solely at Jon. It was one thing to hear "I love you" from Audrey; she loved easily and did not have an issue saying so. But he and Jon were cut from the same fabric in this regard. Love did not come easily to them and admitting it was even harder.
"Yeah, I do, Shawn." He looked down at Audrey who mouthed "he needs to hear it from you". He froze for a moment. She was asking him to say words he did not say to anyone.
At the look on Shawn's face a deep feeling of affection and worry overtook him, and he heard himself say,
"I do love you, kid."
Shawn buried his face in Audrey's shoulder again, but this time he reached behind her to grab a hold of his teacher.
"I love you, too," he said through gasping sniffles. "Both of you."
-Christmas to Last a Lifetime: Believe
"I love Audrey, Mel. She's the one."
Shawn stared at Jon. Waves of tremendous relief washed over him. To hear him say aloud that he loved Audrey was the reassurance that he desperately needed. They were safe and so was he. So was their family.
-The Return: Sunday, Sunday
Shawn Hunter hunkered down on the couch, staring at a blank television screen while waiting for his people to come home.
Melancholy consumed him.
His father had called with stories of how tirelessly he was chasing his wife.
He resented Chet for thinking he would believe that when he could clearly hear women's laughter and loud music in the background. Chet was living like a man without a runaway wife and a son waiting for him to come home.
As far as his mother was concerned, she was living like a woman without a husband or son.
Shawn shrugged violently trying to rid himself of the depression that overwhelmed him.
A moment later, the apartment door slammed open, and Audrey stumbled in with her arms full of groceries.
"Shawn!" Jon yelled from down the hall. "Help Aud out. Then come help me with the rest of this stuff."
Hot relief shot through him now that they were home. He jumped up and over the couch.
"Hey, Mama!" he greeted her without thinking.
The affection that filled her eyes at the name made him smile.
The smile faded. He couldn't remember the last time Virna looked at him like that.
"Mama, you want me to do anything?"
"No, sweetheart," she said kissing his cheek. "But Jon needs help. We have a few cases of soda to bring up."
"Elevator broken again?"
They looked at each other in amusement before simultaneously saying, "Of course it is!"
Audrey chuckled and put her palms against his cheeks. "I love you, Shawn."
The words hit him hard.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd heard Virna say them. But Audrey, who was not even related, told him she loved him for no reason he could understand.
But that was typical Audrey.
Her first "I love you" came in Jon's truck after a night of celebrating. In the middle of daydreaming about Jon and Audrey adopting him, Audrey signed "I love you" to him. Verbal words followed the next day and every day after.
He couldn't recall one day she'd missed.
The impulsive desire to hold on to her forever seized him. He hugged her tightly, knocking her back slightly.
The door slammed open again causing them both to jump. Irritably, Jon braced himself against the door, barely holding onto the three cases of Pepsi in his arms.
"You can hug her anytime," he groused as he almost dropped one case. "How about helpin' me for a minute?"
Shawn looked over Audrey's shoulder at his guardian with annoyance.
Audrey released him and went to the kitchen. He trudged to the door and took a case of soda.
His teacher arched an eyebrow. "She gets a hug and 'I love you' and I get a dirty look for askin' you to help carry the soda you wanted?"
Shawn wrinkled his nose at him, testing his mood.
"Yeah, I love you too, kid." Jon rolled his eyes, kicked the door closed, and headed to the kitchen.
Shawn stood by the couch hugging the soda.
He couldn't remember the last time his father told him he loved him, even in jest.
And then there was Jon, who didn't say "I love you" to anyone.
Except that he did.
To him.
It was Christmas Eve, and he was walking home from Cory's when memories of a drunken Chet overcame him. He ran to the safety of Jon's apartment and Audrey's arms. She told him they loved him, but he didn't quite believe her; Jon didn't do love.
"I do love you, kid."
Those four words changed everything and that month they became a proper family, and he had what Cory had: people who loved him and wanted him. Later, Jon promised they would make it legal after Audrey graduated. But there was something markedly missing in that promise to them- those words to her. It wasn't until his former fiancée showed up hoping for a second chance that things changed.
Something suddenly irritated his eyes and caused them to water as he watched Jon wrap his arms around Audrey, kiss the crook of her neck, and tell her he loved her. She returned his affection, then started dinner with Jon helping.
Shawn stood by the kitchen island staring at them when his teacher looked up and arched that brow again clearly expecting him in the kitchen to help.
"Can you handle the mashed potatoes on your own?" Audrey asked as she opened the cupboards.
He nodded and jumped to gather what he needed.
This was the mundane family life he wanted so badly. He should have been happy, but guilt over wanting to trade his parents in for new ones plagued him.
As he washed and peeled the potatoes, he watched Jon and Audrey out of the corner of his eye.
He wanted them.
They wanted him.
But will it ever happen?
As she released the refrigerator door, Audrey felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around her from behind and the spice of Hugo Boss tickled her nose. She grinned in delight, blushing as Jon pressed a lingering kiss into the crook of her neck. She tilted her head back slightly to see the glint of admiration in his eyes.
"I love you, babe," he grinned mischievously before letting her go to prepare the salads for dinner.
"I love you, too." Audrey flitted through the tiny kitchen feeling as though she was in a dream.
I love you, babe.
Those were the four most thrilling words she'd ever heard. Admittedly, the thrill was heightened because they should not be together at all while she was his student teacher.
But they were.
And Jon had sworn he'd never say those words to any woman, ever.
But he had.
To her.
From Jon, these words showed more commitment than a sparkly ring and were more binding than a marriage license.
At a time when her own family was nearing its end, she'd somehow gained another one. That Jon was a part of it and such an important person to her family made it all that more surreal.
As she gathered the ingredients for fried chicken batter, her thoughts turned to her father. She fully believed he was holding on to see that she was not alone. When Jon and Shawn entered the picture, that concern disappeared. Now she was certain once she graduated with her secondary education degree in English like her mother, he would let go of his hold on life.
And she would be an orphan.
Was that even possible at twenty?
Audrey was distracted from her dreary thoughts when she saw the look Jon gave Shawn. She turned her attention to the teen she couldn't help but think of as her own even if he was only five years younger.
"Can you handle the mashed potatoes on your own?"
Shawn nodded and rushed to grab too many potatoes for the three of them.
He was a lot like Jon when it came to matters of the heart. Both had a skewed definition of love that came from parents whose actions did not match the words that were rarely spoken and struggled to express emotions that weren't negative.
The first time Shawn told her that he loved her was in Jon's pickup on the way home from a rare night out together. These words came in response to her signing "I love you" to him.
To hear them verbalized was a pleasant surprise.
And she did love him.
Every bit as much as Jon.
Truth be told, she loved him first.
As they moved around each other to put dinner together, euphoric thoughts of the future played in her head. But as she handed the chicken batter to Jon, foreboding doubt overtook them.
She had a family just like this once before, with a home full of love and parents who fostered that environment.
All that ended when she was thirteen.
As she watched Shawn playfully harass Jon, a wave of illogical fear swept over her.
What if my parents' story repeats itself in mine?
Jon watched Shawn peel the potatoes with a critical eye. The kid had way too many for three people.
Audrey saw this and said nothing, so neither did he. He did, however, say something about Shawn's behavior in Eli's media arts class.
"How am I supposed to know who Walter Kronky is?" the teen asked with a squint as he splashed water over his pot of potatoes before moving them to the stove.
"Cronkite. And not knowin' who the guy is doesn't mean you get to run your mouth about…" He considered his words carefully, "anything."
Shawn made a face and moved to poke a hot potato with his finger. Before he could form the words to call out a warning, Audrey's small, quick hand popped the teen's.
Jon leaned against the kitchen island and listened to their rapid, affectionate banter.
He marveled at how significantly his life had changed since these two walked into his apartment and made themselves at home.
And how much he loved it.
Once shades of gray and gloom, color and light now filled his world.
"Dad called," Shawn said abruptly, surprising them.
He told them about the call as he took the ricer to mash the potatoes. Each mash became more violent as he recounted the conversation.
One that did not end with "I love you".
"He loves you, Shawn," Audrey whispered. Jon caught the uncertainty in her voice. "As much as he can, anyway."
"It's not enough."
It surprised all three to hear these words come out of his mouth.
Shawn glared murderously at the broken vegetables.
"Aw, honey." Audrey stopped what she was doing and wrapped her arms around him, reiterating how much she loved him.
Jon found it remarkable how easily she was able to say this from the beginning. It was in stark contrast to his own ability to say the right thing.
"You're right, Shawn," he confirmed. "It's not enough. Not from either of them."
The teen's stare bore through him.
He wasn't exempt from this one either.
Jon locked eyes with him for a moment, then instinctively reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I love you. You know that, right?"
Shawn squinted at him, then his expression softened, and he nodded. "That's the second time you've said it tonight. I get it."
Second time?
It was the third time- once to Audrey.
That was new.
Given the cold opulence he was raised in where false promises and manipulations were packaged in "I love you" those words once meant nothing to him.
But now?
Audrey's gentle nudging encouraged him to say those words on Christmas Eve to Shawn, who surprised him by saying them in return. When he confessed his love for Audrey, the words were easy to say...
To someone else.
Of course, she was quick to forgive and return the affection whole-heartedly.
Jon withdrew his hand and went back to preparing the green beans.
The change made him uncomfortable because these small words demanded actions to back them; actions he didn't know if he could follow through on.
Having two lives depend on him for stability and support was terrifying.
As was a future without them.
What if the number grew?
Audrey wanted more kids. Several.
Shawn wanted a sister. He was already talking names.
What if I fail them?
Dinner that night was not the chatty event it usually was. Their conversation was slower than normal. Everyone seemed lost in their thoughts.
Dumping a heaping spoonful of mashed potatoes on his plate, Shawn realized he used too many potatoes for the three of them. He created a crater in the vegetables with the back of the spoon then dumped corn in it. He looked up to see Jon staring at him with curiosity mixed with minor disgust.
Shawn put his spoon down and stared back.
"You told Audrey you love her, so what're you gonna do about it," he said so bluntly his teacher dropped his fork and sat back.
Jon glanced at Audrey, who slowly lowered her own utensil. Looking down at the table, he inhaled a slow breath to stall, but Shawn had that impatient glare in his eyes.
"What I said I'd do."
The teen's eyes narrowed. "You said you'd make things legal. What does that mean?"
"You know what 'make it legal' means."
Shawn folded his arms over his chest. "You said I love you to both of us. Why can't you say the other two words?"
Jon glanced at Audrey, who was regarding him as seriously as Shawn.
He sighed, then answered honestly, "If we can get Feeny outta the way, I wanna marry Aud."
Audrey stared incredulously at him. Jon always danced around what legal meant where they were concerned.
Shawn wanted to be happy to hear this, but he had more pressing questions he needed answered.
"Feeny can't stop you."
"He can right now."
"You two can jump a plane to Vegas and get married tonight. Feeny can't touch you."
Jon caught the look of fear and uncertainty on the teen's face as he furrowed his brow and picked at the skin around his thumb anxiously.
Shawn's voice was incredibly quiet. "What about me?"
Jon paused. Chet was a bigger issue than Feeny.
"Chet's a roadblock, but he did finally send the legal guardian paperwork." He paused as Shawn's expression crumpled. Quickly he added, "It's not adoption, but it is a step towards it."
Shawn looked up sharply. "You serious about that?"
"As a heart attack," Jon answered without sarcasm. "If everythin' goes as planned, Aud and I get married and start the adoption process immediately."
"You've talked about it to… him?" Suddenly Shawn couldn't bring himself to call Chet "dad".
"As much as anyone can."
Shawn was so conflicted he was nauseated. He wanted Jon and Audrey legally forever, but that meant letting go of the two people he called Mom and Dad for fifteen years.
It meant accepting they didn't want him.
Audrey leaned over and took his hand. "Shawn, Jon and I can't get married yet. But the guardianship is something real and legal that can be done now." She gave him a small smile. "Right now, you're ahead of me."
Shawn blinked as it occurred to him he had always come first. They said "I love you" to him before they said it to each other. A strange, content feeling like sticky sweet honey melted over him.
They really did want him.
Suddenly a mischievous fire tickled his side. He gave his teacher a wicked grin, "What's stoppin' a secret proposal?"
Jon gave an embarrassed laugh that ignited Shawn's sarcastic streak. Before long, laughter filled apartment No. 8.
After the dishes were done, a movie played. The trio fell asleep huddled together on the couch as visions of a bright future danced in their heads even though "I love you" had changed everything and nothing at all.
