Dimitri's POV

It was clear as day that Rose's last eight years had been very different from my own. Sure, had the punching bag been a person, they would have taken a few painful hits, but that was only due to the fact that she was going at it with reckless abandon and none of the technique I had taught her so long ago. Eventually, she would get tired, and if this had been a life-or-death situation, her opponent would have had the upper hand in a matter of minutes. Luckily, her opponent was neither alive nor undead but rather a bag filled with sand.

She still hadn't noticed my presence, which was odd enough, but I supposed her anger would have clouded her instincts. And she was angry, I could tell as much without seeing her face. Any time I'd seen her fight like this, it had been because someone had pissed her off. More often than not, that someone had been her mother. I had no doubt in my mind who it was this time.

I should have left, I knew I should have, but she'd been looking for me ever since Friday morning. Stan had told me she had stormed into the guardians' lounge shortly after the end of her shift and asked for me. I'd made sure to stay as far away from her as possible ever since. But here I was, and so was she, and it was as good a time as any to clear the air. I wasn't going to give her any information about what she wanted to know, but I knew she wouldn't be able to resist a fight. Maybe it would be good for her to get it out of her system.

Hell, maybe I needed to do the same. I wasn't angry exactly, but her presence here was the last thing I needed. Or her charge's presence, for that matter. It had been stupid of her to bring the Dragomir heir here, and it had been even dumber to come here herself. I had my own mission to focus on, and she would only stand in my way.

Unless you tell her, a little voice said in my mind.

No. Absolutely not. I couldn't drag her into this. I still had no idea just what it was that I was looking for, but it was undoubtedly going to become dangerous sooner rather than later. Rose had to stay far, far away from that. More importantly, I was terrified of what she would think of me once she found out. I could live with her hating me, but I couldn't have her think less of me. I couldn't have her be disappointed in me. Not her. This had to end here.

"Very bad form," I taunted and I could see her tense up. "I taught you better than that."

She spun around in an instant and, God help me, she was far more enraged than I had suspected. The decision that had seemed smart a moment ago now appeared to be a lot less so. Could I still turn around and run? Not likely.

"Oh, yeah?" she asked, her head held high in an attempt to appear more confident than she was. "Wanna put that to the test?"

No. But what choice did I have? I immediately adopted a defensive stance, unsure whether she would play fair or not. With Rose, it was always better to be prepared. "Depends. Are you going to tell me why you're so angry?"

"I sure am," she said and her hand flew towards my face.

Definitely not fair, then. I blocked the hit, but she was already preparing for another one. "Let's hear it, then. Still mad about your schedule?"

"Yes," she said, attempting another attack. I dodged it just in time. "But I'm more mad about Sunshine."

That was unexpected enough to catch me off guard, and she managed to kick my shin. It hurt, but at least the pain shocked me back into the fight. "What about Sunshine?"

"Don't play dumb." She was looking for an opening to get me again but found none. "I know you took her phone."

Ah. That. Well, the moment I realised Rose had had to have some means of contacting the child, I knew I had to take care of that. I understood the need to be able to keep an eye on her, of course, but it had been stupid. Sunshine was safe here only as long as nobody found out who she was, but any connection to Rose would endanger the child unnecessarily. What if someone had found that phone and decided to call the only number in it? "I had my reasons."

"You have no business getting involved in this. She's not your child," she spat and I could hear she was starting to get out of breath. This would end soon, and maybe she would realise that she had no business being here.

"Nor is she yours," I said, immediately regretting my words. There was hurt in her eyes, and then she doubled her efforts in fighting me. I hadn't expected it, but she had me backed against the wall in a matter of seconds with not much room for me to move around or attack.

"Watch it. I raised her. I took care of her. I'm not her mother, but I might as well be," she hissed.

I'd definitely hit a sore spot there, and I could have used it. Whether it would lead me to victory or send me to the infirmary was not clear, though, so I let it go. "You shouldn't have gone to see her."

"I can do whatever I want in my time off," she insisted.

"You're endangering her," I said, knowing Rose had to know that, too. Or did she?

She slowed for a second and I used the opening to turn our positions around. She was the one against the wall now, and she narrowed her eyes at me. "It's none of your goddamn business."

"It doesn't matter. I'm willing to bet you made a promise to Lissa and—"

"At least I'm keeping mine!" she yelled, and the accusation hurt more than any physical attack could have.

I ceased my own efforts and took a step back. Then another one. My voice was quiet when I spoke again. "No, I told you. I kept… I… he's alive and—"

"But he isn't here," Rose said with a certainty I hadn't expected. What did she know? "You abandoned him. God knows what happened to him, but if you try to tell me again that he's fine, I swear I'll rip your head off."

I swallowed hard. Rose was advancing, and I kept walking backwards. Soon enough, we would be in the same position as we'd been merely moments before. Unless you tell her.

Could I? I had trusted her once, and there was no reason that should have changed. No reason other than the fact that I would never be able to look her in the eyes if she ever learnt of my failure.

"I'm sorry, Rose," I told her. "There's nothing else I can tell you."

And then she was on me again, fighting more ferociously even than before. Despite her lack of technique, it was impossible for me to subdue her for the first few moments. As I'd predicted, though, she was getting tired.

Eventually, I managed to grab her and pin her to the ground. I was panting heavily, almost as out of breath as she was.

"Well," she said with little amusement. "Looks like you were right about my poor form."

I looked down at her, and the strangest sense of nostalgia came over me. We'd been here before, in this very same position, but that felt like it had been a lifetime ago. My growing feelings for Roza had been the biggest issue in my personal life back then, and it seemed almost ridiculous now that I had ever worried about something so trivial.

"That's not the only thing I was right about, and you know it."

That earned me another burst of anger from her, but no matter how much she struggled against me, she was unable to free herself. She gave up when she came to the same conclusion. "What the hell is your problem, anyway?"

"My problem?" I asked incredulously. "You're the one who came here and started throwing accusations at me!"

Rose looked up at me with wide eyes, then shook her head. "Let me go."

"What?"

She scowled at me. "I'm not having this conversation with you on top of me, as much as I might have liked that a few years ago."

A few years ago, but not now. I may have beaten her in physical combat, but twice now she'd managed to hurt me more than I had her. Still, I complied, and rolled off her. Once I was standing again, I held out my hand to her, but she didn't take it.

"What conversation would that be?" I chanced. Not one I wanted to have, that much was clear.

She sighed, rubbing her elbows, then looked at me again. "The one where you realise we both want the same goddamn thing, Dimitri."

"I doubt that," I said almost automatically. She had just made it abundantly clear that she very much did not want the same thing I did, but that wasn't what she was talking about.

Rose crossed her arms in front of her. "We do. Why can't you see that?"

"You were fighting me just now so forgive me for having a hard time believing that," I told her.

"Because you're being an idiot, and you took away the one safety measure I could allow Sunshine to have," she returned angrily. Then she took a deep breath. "Dimitri, I'm not here because of Sunshine, I'm her despite her. I know this is dangerous, and stupid, but I came here because I heard you were here."

At least she acknowledged her stupidity, but I was hung up on that last part. What did that mean? "I don't understand. Why?"

She rolled her eyes at me, and I had half a mind to scold her for it. "Ignoring the fact that, for the last eight and a half years, I had no idea if you were even alive? I wondered what the fuck had happened to you and Christian! I thought maybe you were assigned here and Christian was left defenceless. Then I heard you asked to be transferred, and I knew something must be going on."

Rose regarded me questioningly, waiting for me to say something. I didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I can't—"

Suddenly, she charged at me again, and I wasn't standing firmly enough to stay in place. She pushed me all the way until my back was against the wall again, holding both of my hands to the wall on either side of my body. I could have probably escaped her grip, but my traitorous body had no inclination do so. She was close – closer even than she had been when I'd pinned her to the ground – and I could hardly think straight. Her hair smelled the same way it always had, and the intoxicating effect it had on me had lost none of its potency over the years.

"I'm so tired of this," she said, barely restraining her anger. "When did we become enemies?"

"We're not enemies," I said, but it rang hollow in my ears.

"Then why are you acting like it?"

Her lips were close. So very close. "I need… to protect Christian."

"But not from me, Dimitri," she said quietly. There was hurt, and confusion, and I hated seeing her this way. "We're on the same side."

She was right, but I couldn't admit it. Not now. Not until Christian was better, not until I've figured out a way to keep her away from the discovery I'd made two months ago. "It's not that simple."

"Yes, it is," she insisted.

Her breath was hot on my skin, and there was less than an inch between our faces. I couldn't take it anymore, and if it helped in distracting her, that was just an added bonus. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers for the first time in nearly a decade.

She was shocked, but it didn't take her body long to remember. She kissed me back feverishly, clearly needing this as much as I did, and pressed her body closer to mine. My arms wrapped around her, trying to pull her ever closer. My Roza. I finally had my Roza back with me.

Until about ten seconds later, when she suddenly freed herself from my embrace, and I had no time to evade the slap that came down on my cheek. I half expected her to start fighting again, but she didn't. She looked at me with disappointment in her eyes, then turned her back and walked out without another word.

It took me a few more moments to compose myself before I felt like I could face the world again. And even then, I didn't dare leave this room yet. I reached into my back pocket to retrieve my phone… but it was no longer there.

You should have just told her, that nagging voice in my head said. I knew it was right.

It would have been one thing if I'd been the one to tell her. She might have hated me, been disappointed in me, but perhaps she would have forgiven me in time. Now? She would find out my deepest darkest secret, and she would do so knowing I would have never told her. The chances of forgiveness had been slim to none already, but they were in the negative numbers now.