Arriving at the door to Goren's room, Eames stood still for a long moment, not daring to enter for fear of what she was about to discover.
She still remembered what she had seen with Goren during their investigations, and what damage a bullet from a pistol could do.
Hence the terrible fear that ran through her.
In addition, was she going to have the courage to bear the sight of Goren in a hospital bed.
He was always a passionate person.
My God...
No.
Eames had no courage left.
Eames couldn't see Goren in a hospital bed.
It was too much to ask of him.
Her heart couldn't survive it.
She felt fingers on her shoulder, bringing her out of her thoughts.
- Courage Eames... Deakins was there, right by her side. If you need anything...
So Deakins had come to support her.
How could she thank him for this initiative.
But it was up to her, to take it upon herself, and above all to find the strength to go back into the room.
Bobby needed her, and she couldn't leave him alone.
She took a deep breath, opened the door, stepped inside with a heavy heart, and closed the door behind her, leaving Deakins looking at her, shaking his head.
She moved forward with her hands over her heart, which she clutched nervously, but stopped short at the vision of Goren lying in that hospital bed.
My God...
This vision of the man she loved on that hospital bed, with all his wires connected to the monitor, and that respirator, whose mask was positioned over his mouth, helping him to breathe, as well as the feeding tube, which was at the level of his nasal passages, feeding him, made Eames ache.
The vision crushed his heart.
How could a man as spirited as Goren be lying so motionless in this hospital bed?
Eames felt she was running out of oxygen.
That someone had taken her heart and was crushing it, preventing her from breathing.
It was a nightmare.
She'd wake up.
And Goren would call her a kid, as he often did, to the point of annoyance.
But today, Eames would have given anything for Goren to call her that.
What was happening, wasn't fair.
Just when she was beginning to believe in him, in his honesty, that he hadn't cowardly abandoned her, this happened.
Fate was cruel.
There was no other word for it.
Eames tried to pull herself together, to regain her composure and, above all, her courage.
She must not weaken.
She had to be strong.
Because Bobby was going to need her strength.
Determined and resolute, Eames strode towards Goren, and when she reached him, she lost all courage, her despair taking over, tears welling up in her eyes, obscuring her vision, and cascading down her cheeks.
- Oh Bobby... She brought her hand to her ebony curls, stroking them with infinite gentleness. What happened to us...
She lowered her face to his, brought her lips to his forehead, brushed against him.
- I should never have doubted you. Eames couldn't stop her tears, which rolled down her cheeks, a few drops falling on Goren's face. Can you ever forgive me?
At his words, the monitor made a noise, as if Goren heard him crying, and replied.
- Bobby... I need you... Eames climbed onto the bed, lay down next to Goren, put his head and hands against his chest. Don't leave me.
She burst into tears, screamed, and cried out in despair, clutching her blouse, letting all her grief out.
- Oh Bobby... I still love you so much…
My God...
What an awful nightmare she was having.
Goren in a hospital bed, because he'd been shot.
It could only be an awful nightmare, and not the truth.
At least, that's what Eames hoped from the bottom of her heart.
That she was having a nightmare, and that when she woke up, Goren would be alive and well, right next to her.
Because the body next to hers, the warmth radiating from it, she could recognize in a thousand ways, belonged to Goren.
But unlike the other times, Goren wasn't hugging her.
And Eames felt her anguish redouble.
Worried, she opened her eyelids, and her heart stopped dead, clenching, and the tears rose to her eyes again, veiling her vision, and cascading down her cheeks.
No.
It wasn't just a nightmare.
This was reality.
And the most awful thing she'd ever experienced in her life.
Goren was right there, lying in that hospital bed, with all those medical things on his body, keeping him alive.
My God...
No.
Eames couldn't bear the sight of the man she loved.
It was far too harsh.
Desperate, and so unhappy, she clutched at his blouse, and buried her face against his chest, and wept every tear from her body.
- How am I going to get by without you... And Lucy...
At her last words, Eames' eyes widened in shock, and his heart froze with fright.
My God...
Lucy.
Eames had forgotten her daughter.
What was she going to tell her daughter.
Who didn't even know the truth about Goren.
That Goren was her father.
Eames had to tell Lucy the truth about Goren's paternity, and fast.
Hopefully not too late.
If she had known...
If she'd trusted what her heart was telling her.
But most of all, if she'd trusted Goren, none of this would have happened.
And Lucy would have known he was her father.
Besides, Eames should never have told Goren to keep his paternity a secret.
She'd asked too much of him.
And today, Eames was paying the price.
If Goren died...
She would lose the man she had always loved.
But she would also lose her daughter, who would resent her for not telling her the truth about her father.
And so, Eames absolutely had to make amends for what she'd done, before it was too late.
But also, she would have to talk to her father, and hold him to account.
And above all, ask him why he'd lied about the man she loved.
Telling her that Goren had cowardly abandoned her, when he hadn't. And that he'd never, ever left her.
And that he'd never done that.
Her father had ruined their chance of happiness.
And to have a normal family life.
And that, Eames didn't know if she could forgive him.
Reluctantly, and with a heavy heart, Eames pulled her little fingers away from Goren's blouse, wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, and rose from the bed.
She leaned over Goren's face one last time, lowered her face to his, brought her lips to his forehead, brushed against him.
- I'll be back soon... She reluctantly stepped aside, and headed for the door, but stopped one last time to look at him. I'm going to undo all the harm that's been done.
With her last words, and her grief about to resurface, she left the room.
