My Beautiful Doll

Warning: Nothing. Just more poor life choices from the resident overworked agent.

A/N: Hey! I'm very sleepy but I also wanted to get this chapter out so here it is. Sorry it took a bit long, I had homework and work up in the wazoo. I also practically died on Thursday because I overworked myself the previous day which was so not fun. Anyways, have fun with this chapter and have a nice day!


Don had to admit it, but leaving out details on when he first got kidnapped was purely selfish on his part. He had already shared the truth with Gary and had already sent the official report, so he figured it wouldn't hurt the investigation too much if he left out a few things. Plus, judging by the looks everyone sent his way, his ordeal was already harrowing enough without the addition of those first events.

"Don…" Charlie said softly, "I mean this with love. But what in the absolute fuck?"

Don was somewhat taken back by the strong use of language. Charlie wasn't the type to swear, so when he does, it's usually on special occasions. Seems like this is one of them he mused.

"What Charlie means to say is, how are you?" Megan translated, as if Don didn't already know it.

He was about to answer before Ian cut in, "If you say you're fine, I swear to God I will shoot you with a sleeping dart".

Don closed his mouth again, feeling sheepish. "I'm uh…somewhat decent?". That earned another round of cursing from everyone, especially Coop and Ian who looked like they were both going to toss him out the nearest window.

"We shouldn't have expected anything less" David replied, looking like he was both annoyed and amused at the same time.

"Look guys" Don said, pushing between Ian and Coop in order to get to the boards, "As much as I appreciate you caring about me, if you can't tell, there's no time!" he gestured to the chaos around them. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling more tired by the second. Then he reached out to one of the filled coffee cups and chugged its entire contents in one go. Once that was done, he grabbed a marker and turned to face the board, "I know there's something in here that can help me, I can feel it" he said as he banged his head against the board, frustrated.

A gentle hand placed themselves on his shoulder, "Maybe what you need is a break" Megan suggested.

Don shook his head, "No, I can't," he insisted, holding tightly onto the marker as if it was the only thing keeping him in the world. "I can't risk it. Gary is already in the hospital because of me. I don't want another one to follow".

"Don," David said, his voice calm, "Gary would be the first person to say this, but what happened to him wasn't your fault."

Megan gave him a sympathetic smile, "Isn't that what you said to me last time when that operation blew up? You said that I couldn't account for everything and that I did the best I could. Now it's time for you to believe that yourself".

"But at the time, we knew that they weren't specifically targeting you" Don protested, "This time I knew he was after me and that he was capable of going after anyone he sees fit".

"Exactly!" Charlie exclaimed, "He sees everyone as a threat, no matter if they're actually one or not. It doesn't matter, they're all the same to him. So you can't solely blame yourself, the only one you can blame is him."

"Look at yourself Don" Ian said, "You're running yourself to the ground. You're frustrated, tired, and injured. There is a possibility that you've been missing something this entire time because you're not on top of your game. The only way you can protect us and save everyone else is if you let us help you, that way we can find something that will quickly put this man into jail".

"C'mon Donnie, do you really want this man to terrorize the streets for another day?" Billy asked, giving him one of his intense stares.

"They're right" Colby replied, "We're all well-rested. Maybe we can see something that you missed. They do say two heads are better than one, so that means six heads should be a breeze".

Don clenched his jaw, not willing to give up just yet. This case was about him goddamnit, there was no way in hell they would find a way to get him out of it. Then Charlie spoke up again. "We told Dad about you" he said, his tone smug.

"What?!"

"Yep. And he told us that if you weren't back at the house in an hour, he would come here and drag you back home in front of everyone kicking and screaming".

He whirled around to stare at his team, "He's kidding, right?"

They all shook their heads in unison. "Nope!" Megan says cheerfully. Don winced. If his father actually said that, then he was as good as dead. Alan Eppes is a lot of things, but being the type to back out of his own threat isn't one of them.

Charlie leaned closer, his grin growing wider "C'mon Don…do you really want to test Dad?"

Don let out an annoyed sigh. Goddamnit…He turned around to face them, tossing his hands in the air. "Fine! I'll take a break alright!"

Billy wrapped an arm around his shoulder and poked him on the cheek. "C'mon Donnie, that wasn't so hard was it?" he teased.

Ian wrapped an arm around his waist and lightly ruffled his hair with the other hand. "Don't know Coop. I think that admitting defeat permanently ruined his ego" Ian grinned.

Don glared. "Tease me again and both of you will be sleeping on the couch tonight".

Both men paled as they looked at him in apprehension, both of them letting him go. "You wouldn't…" Billy said.

Don scoffed, "I've survived for months without you two, what's another few going to do?"

Both Megan and Colby let out low whistles of amusement while David winced. "Ouch! Low blow."

Charlie scrunched his nose in disgust. "Anyways, putting that aside, I think we should lay some ground rules."

"What do you mean ground rules?! I'm an adult, I don't need that."

"Don, you're literally one of the craftiest son of a bitch I've ever met next to myself" Ian replied. "You will find a loophole out of everything if we're not careful."

Don tried to argue, but the look in Ian's eye told him that if he even tried to refute it, the man would bring up stories from Don's Quantico days both as an instructor and a student. And those stories are ones that he never wants anyone to know about…ever. So he decided to keep his mouth shut for the sake of his own sanity and reputation. "Fine!"

Everyone gave him surprised looks, most likely expecting him to fight back more. But with the possible threat of his shenanigans during those times getting exposed, he'd rather not test that. "Alright then" Megan said, clapping her hands. "I think that maybe ten hours away from the office would be a good start."

"TEN HOURS?!"

Megan gave him a look, "Of course! You need those eight hours of sleep plus two hours of doing nothing at all. I personally think that it should be more, but since I know you, I'm being conservative".

Don twitched, "That doesn't sound conservative…"

"Don, most people would be happy they're allowed to take a break from work" Colby snickered.

"I'm in the middle of a case!"

"Correction, dear brother of mine. You were in the middle of a case. Not anymore."

"What do you mean? I haven't agreed to the terms yet" Don tried to argue. But both Ian and Billy grabbed him by the arms and dragged him to the elevators.

"Too late Eppes, we already asked the AD for permission to ban you from setting foot into the office. We have a written note of consent from him" Ian said, brandishing a piece of paper.

Don grabbed it and started reading, "I ban one Special Agent Don Eppes from entering the LA FBI Field office for ten hours after he first sets into his house. I will allow any use of force necessary to keep him from going back on the case which includes hitting him with a SLEEPING DART?! IAN! I didn't think you'd mean it literally!" Don shouted.

"What are you talking about? I'm always serious about my sleeping darts".

"This isn't even official paperwork. This isn't a legal agreement" Don tried to protest.

"But that is the AD's official signature" Billy grinned, pointing at the familiar scrawl on the bottom of the paper. "And we never said anything about it being legal. We just said we had his permission and that's it."

"Now I suggest you should quit your whining and fighting or else I will carry you out of this office for everyone to see" Ian threatened.

"You wouldn't…"

"Test me Eppes" the man grinned, his smile sharp.

"I swear none of you ever play fair" he grumbled, but he let himself get manhandled.

"As your brother said earlier, there's no such thing as playing fair when it comes to you. There's only opportunities" Billy quoted.

"You know I'm starting to regret ever knowing both of you".

Both men grinned before giving him a soft kiss on each side of his head. "We love you too" they both said simultaneously. Looking up, Don could see both of their faces brimming with affection, one that he had missed dearly during this entire debacle.

Don instantly covered his face, feeling the rush of heat burning his cheeks. "Bastards…" he mumbled, looking down.

"Awww…the pretty boy is embarrassed" Ian teased.

"Who knew the notorious flirt can't handle a simple kiss?" Billy grinned.

"My threat of both of you sleeping on the couch still stands, you know."

"Promises, promises" Ian replied, waving a hand lazily around.

Don was about to retort before he saw a familiar man standing a few feet in front of him. "Agent Baker!" he called out.

The agent in question turned around, a bright smile on his face. "Agent Eppes, I see you've dealt with your earlier situation? I'm sorry I left but it seemed like the best course of action at the moment".

"It's no problem" Don shrugged, "Anyone trying to get in between everyone mother henning me is practically asking for a death wish anyways". Then he turned around and gestured at the people beside him. "Oh by the way, this is Special Agent Ian Edgerton and Special Agent Billy Cooper. They're here as one of my stand-ins for the case" he introduced.

"Ah, hello" Baker said simply, looking them over with a calculating gaze. "Stand-ins you say? Are you not working on the case anymore?"

Don bobbed his head left and right, "Ehhh…yes and no. I'm being put on forced leave for ten hours so I can take a break. Because of that, I'm giving the case over to them and my team. But once those ten hours are up, I will be back to pick the case up again."

"I see," the man smiled kindly, "It would be a shame for a talented agent like you to be kicked out of the case. But if it's for your own health, then I think that justice can wait a few hours."

Don let out a small laugh. "Don't worry Agent Baker, the case is in good hands".

"Well if you think so, then I will be confident in their abilities as well".

Don pointed towards the war room. "Everyone is in there, so if you could get in and give them a briefing about everything, that would be great".

"I'll do it this instant then" Baker replied. "I hope you get well soon Agent Eppes. I'm looking forward to seeing you later" he said, his tone warm and caring. Then he nodded at Ian and Coop, "And you too", then he walked off into the direction of the room.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Billy spoke up, "I'm looking forward to seeing you later Agent Eppes~" he batted his eyes obnoxiously, his tone was overly flirtatious and mocking.

"It would be a shame for a talented agent like you to be kicked out of the case~" Ian followed suit, his voice even more ridiculous than Billy's.

"What the hell are you on about?"

Billy let out a long suffering sigh, "I swear for a man who flirts with almost everyone and has that many exes, I'm still shocked at how clueless you are."

"I'm honestly still surprised we managed to bag him considering how dense he is," Ian said.

"What are you talking about?" Don was extremely confused.

Billy rolled his eyes as they shoved him into the empty elevator. "He wants to get in your pants, Donnie" he said simply.

"No he doesn't"

Ian shook his head, amused. "Don, he was really nice to you but cold to us. He kept complimenting you. He was warm to you. Hell! He even gave you the look."

"What look?"

"The 'I-want-to-get-in-your-pants' look"

"You're kidding me" Don felt perplexed.

Billy shook his head, "Nope! Spent half of my partnership with you batting people off who gave you the same look. Trust me when I say that I know it too well."

"Same here" Ian replied.

Now Don gave them both a glare, "Is that why a lot of people avoid me when I was with either of you?"

Billy wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "We were keeping the annoying ones away".

Don pinched the bridge of his nose, "What am I going to do with you two?"

Ian grinned, "Nothing, because you love that about us".

Don let out a long sigh, not willing to admit to that fact. But it seems like he didn't have to if the twin smiles were any indication. You really suck at lying Eppes, he thought to himself.

"No, not really. You're just predictable to us" Ian said, seemingly reading his thoughts. Don didn't even bother to answer that. He just let out a long suffering groan as the elevator doors opened.

"Right! Time to deliver you home Donnie" Billy exclaimed, holding up the keys to his truck.

Ian eyed the keys warily, "You do know that we need to be alive to deliver him home right?"

Billy gave Ian the middle finger, "Fuck you"

"Real mature" Ian replied, "You must've used all of your brainpower for that reply".

"Oh is that how you wanna play it asshole? Because I will beat the life out of you right here, right now" Billy threatened.

"Oh I'm pretty sure taking you down would be easier than shooting a still target point blank in the head" Ian said.

"Guys I swear to God if you decide to have a fist fight in the middle of the parking lot I will go back to the office and handcuff myself to the desk so that you can't make me leave" Don threatened, not willing to deal with their fights right now.

They both glared at each other, "Fine!"

Don shook his head in both amusement and annoyance, "I think we should take my car" he said, "Ian can drive it".

Ian grinned triumphantly, Billy looked annoyed. "When you pick me up, then Coop can drive". Now it was time for Billy to grin and for Ian to look sour. All three of them piled into the SUV and drove out of the parking lot. Without meaning to, Don felt the lull of sleep pull at his senses. It wasn't long before he was fast asleep.


"-nnie? Donnie? Wake up Sleeping Beauty" a familiar voice teased him. Don slowly opened his eyes, somewhat disoriented.

"Huh? Where am I?"

Ian gave him a soft smile from the driver's seat, "We drove you home remember? Looks like you took a nap along the way."

Don sat up, the memories starting to come back to him. "I'm surprised you two didn't accidentally kill us on the road."

"Nah" Billy said, shaking his head. "We had some precious cargo after all".

Don felt his face go red again, "Nice to know you care about me enough to be civil for one second" he replied.

"Everything for you Pretty Boy" Ian grinned. Don rolled his eyes at that. Then he took his seatbelt off and opened the car doors before getting out of the car. As soon as he stepped foot on the floor, he stumbled, his legs suddenly giving out.

"Holy-" he shouted before a strong pair of arms caught him.

"Looks like I bagged myself a damsel in distress" Billy's voice was amused, but his eyes were filled with concern.

"Call me that and I'll really show you distress" Don replied, annoyed that his legs now feel like jello. It seems like after that small nap, his body was really starting to catch up to the damage that had been done to it.

"We got you Don" Ian said, supporting Don's other side. Together they both slowly made it to the steps of the Craftsman.

"DONALD ALAN EPPES" A voice bellowed from the house as the doors were thrown open.

"OW" he winced for the second time that day, rubbing his ear in annoyance. "I can hear you just fine Dad" he said exasperatedly, completely ignoring the snickering from the traitors holding him up.

"Oh really?" Alan asked sarcastically once he emerged, "I thought you'd already gone deaf from all the gunshots you hear on a daily basis. After all, that's the only reason why you decided to ignore orders to take a break" he emphasized those last few lines, giving him the patented 'Dad' look while doing so.

"Alright! I get it!" he replied, putting his hands up, "I admit, it wasn't the best idea I've ever had…"

"Understatement of the century" Ian snorted.

"Shut up" Don glared at his boyfriend. Then he looked at his father again "But I just couldn't give the case up."

Alan let out a long-suffering sigh. "I know Donnie, I know," he said affectionately, ruffling his hair. "I might not know the details of the case, but I know you. And I know that you'll never back down from someone who needs you". Shaking his head in amusement, he continued, "You're lucky that Billy called me and said that they were coming back with you because I would've gone there myself and dragged you out".

Don paled, "So they weren't joking?"

Alan gave him an exasperated 'dad' look, "Why would I joke about something like that? Do I seem like the type?"

"Told ya" Billy snickered.

"Anyways, you can deposit him on the bed boys" Alan said, "I cleaned your room for you, put out some clothes, and I even made dinner if you're hungry."

"That sounds nice dad, but I think I might take up Megan's offer and sleep first."

"Good idea"

Both Billy and Ian helped him upstairs. "Do you need help with your shower?" Ian asked.

Don shook his head, "Nah. Knowing you two, it would probably end in something much different" he snorted, "Plus, my legs are starting to come back so I'd like to use them as soon as I can."

"Alright then" Billy said, "Looks like we'll leave you to the capable hands of your dad".

"Far too capable hands I'm afraid…" Don muttered. "But thanks anyways". Then he grabbed his clothes and walked towards the bathroom. "You tell me if there is any new information okay?"

"We'll brief you once your ten hours are up, Eppes" Ian replied, "Nothing else before that."

"Fine"

"Also, we sent a few squad cars to patrol around the area just in case" Billy continued.

Don didn't even have the energy to be angry at that anymore, he was just shocked they didn't put him under full protection sooner. At least he knew that his family would be safe. "Okay".

"Remember Donnie, if you're in the office before your ten hours are up, I am allowed to shoot you with a sleeping dart, do I make myself clear?"

Don winced. "Yes! I won't come to the office before my ten hours are up!"

"Good" Ian sounded satisfied, "See you later then".

"Don't try to kill each other on the way back".

"We'll try" they both said in unison. Ian then stepped closer and gently shoved him to the wall, kissing him ferociously. But there was also a tender emotion to it, one that Don could detect beneath the surface. "Be careful, okay? I love you too much to lose you" his eyes were filled with the sort of vulnerable affection that one wouldn't really see on the usually calm sniper.

"Don't worry Donnie, we'll catch whoever is doing this to you. We're not giving you up without a fight" Billy promised, taking Ian's place and kissing him with as much passion and love as Ian did. "I love you too much to let you go, especially to this psychopath".

Don swallowed, not used to this much tenderness from both men at the same time. But he also understood. This incident almost certainly shook them to their core as much as it did to him. "I understand" he grinned, "I love you guys too".

"Alright then, looks like it's time for us to go. See you soon" Ian said. Then they both gave him one last soft kiss before they left, taking his SUV with them.

Don looked at the bathroom, feeling the pull of exhaustion starting to surface again. He ran a hand through his hair, somewhat amused despite the unwarranted intervention. "I guess I should take my peace where I can get it".

Hopefully this time, he'll have his break undisturbed. It was for ten hours anyways. What kind of thing can happen in such a short amount of time in a small suburban area that's now protected by cops?


A/N: You know I just love to make Don tempt fate. And by fate, I mean me. Also, I did make Ian and Billy sweeter in this and I don't care. If I want these two to be fluffy aggressive romantics who just happen to hate each other and love the same guy, then by God I will make them that. Also, finally I get to give Don a break for a chapter! (The next chapter won't be in his POV so he'll have some down time before well...things happen).