This chapter is full of feels!


I wanted to say that announcing our expecting child was well received, but some people voiced their displeasure. There were a lot of people who were happy for us, and Tasha posted about how happy she was, and the label, but it didn't stop the hate from sounding louder.

Some people thought I was faking it, some people demanded to know why I lied about not being able to have a baby, and some people were just downright nasty. I ended up logging out of my social media accounts and tried not to fume at the hate.

At least I didn't have to see Greta spewing anything.

I know that Dimitri fought with Sonya shortly after we told his mother and sisters. I wasn't sure what was said, but I just knew there were raised voices.

And things between me and Dimitri were still different. I wasn't sure where exactly we stood. We were friends still, obviously, and I knew what I felt for him. I knew what he felt for me, but I knew that some of his obligation to make things work was because of the baby. But a part of me hoped that he wanted things to work because of me. Because of his love for me.

When I walked into my apartment, I could tell that someone had been here. The dishes had been collected from the coffee table and the throw blanket was straightened on the back of the couch. I walked into the kitchen and noticed that all the dishes had been washed and the mess I made this morning was gone too.

I pursed my lips as I walked through the house. I didn't think that Mildred would be coming by, but it was possible. But when I walked into my bedroom, I stopped and smiled softly to myself. Folded over the end of my bed was the quilt from Dimitri's place. There was an odd-shaped pillow on the bed too, almost like a long U-shape. There was a soft square-looking thing on the bed too and a little box on top of it.

I set my bag on the floor and ran my fingers over the quilt, spotting a small piece of paper near my pillow.

I think that you need it more than I do. -Comrade.

I smiled and ran my fingers of the box, finding it a sheet set of specialty sheets for body temperature regulation. I picked up the small box and cracked the lid. Inside was a gold plate necklace. I lifted it up towards me so the light from the window would catch it. There was an etching on it. As I looked at it, it slowly dawned on me what I was and my eyes watered, tears rolling down my cheeks as I sniffed.

It was the sound of the baby's heartbeat.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and called Dimitri.

"Hello?"

"Where did you get this?" I asked, but it came out more as a blubber. It truly touched my heart.

"It's a secret," he said, "But you like it?"

"I love it. And thank you for the quilt. I promise to return it," I said.

"I know. I figured when we do the last leg of the tour we could bring your pillow and the quilt to make you more comfortable," he said "Or even if there are dates you want to cancel coming to, we can work that out. I don't want to put too much stress on you or your body."

I smiled and ran my fingers over the pillow, moving to lie down. I had seen something similar at Mia's house, but now that I was laying on it with it between my legs, I could see why Mason hated it. It was so comfortable.

"I really love this pillow," I said with a laugh.

"I figured you would," he said, "I hope you don't mind that I tided up. I know that you've been tried."

"I appreciate it. I was dreading it when I walked in the door," I chuckled, "What are you up to today?"

"Not a whole lot. Just that interview later today. Might work a bit more on that piece I've got hanging around."

I smiled. "That's not bad," I mused. We talked a bit about the first show that was next week, how he wanted to change up the setlist. After a bit I was starting to nod off, making Dimitri laugh at how effective the pillow was.


Six Years Ago

I sighed and rubbed my face as I walked down the stairs, the bottom step squeaking the slightest bit as I stepped off it.

I yawned as I rounded the corner, stopping short when I saw the kitchen.

"Morning," I said slowly, my eyes flicking over the three people sitting at the table. It wasn't necessarily the fact that they were all at the table, but it was the matter of what was on the table.

"Morning, dove," Barry said as he set a plate of bacon on the table, coming towards me and cupping my head before kissing the top of it. I looked at him and then at Andrew, raising my brow at him. I sat down at my chair at the table, looking at the feast before me. It had bacon, sausage, waffles, eggs, and fruit.

"What's this for?" I asked as I rubbed my eyes. There wasn't a holiday or anyone's birthday.

"We can't have breakfast as a family?" Mildred asked, but her voice was raised just enough to make me know that she was lying. She and Andrew had the same tell. I shrugged, filling up my plate, pouring syrup onto my waffles and scooping the fruit onto it, noticing the subtle look on Mildred's face.

They let me eat a few bites before whatever they were keeping was too close to the brim.

"So, you've been here for almost a year," Barry said with a smile, resting his hand on Mildred's. I chewed and nodded.

"Mmhmm?"

"And you're going to be eighteen soon," Mildred said and I started to feel my heart sink a bit. I had heard bad stories about people being kicked out the minute they turned eighteen, but I didn't think that Mildred and Barry were those kinds of people.

Andrew must have noticed the change in my face and squeezed my shoulder, smiling at me.

"It's not what you think," he said with a grin.

"While we know that you're going to be eighteen in a few months, we wanted to know if you wanted to become a part of our family," Mildred said and looked at Barry with a smile, "Officially."

"Officially?"

"They want to know if you'd be okay if they adopted you," Andrew said. I looked between the three of them, the words swirling around my head. I was with the Dragomir family for four years and the conversation never came up, but after nine months, they brought it up.

"You…want to adopt me?" I asked slowly, setting my fork and knife down on the table.

Barry and Mildred both nodded their heads enthusiastically. I looked at Andrew and blinked at him.

"And you're okay with that? Sharing your parents?" I asked quietly.

"I already share them with you. Besides, it'd be nice to officially call you my sister instead of my foster sister," Andrew said with a smile. I nodded and looked at all three of them again, swallowing the thick lump that formed in my throat. My chest felt tight and I bit my lip, trying to keep the swell of emotion at bay.

But I couldn't. The overwhelming emotions were too much and I broke into tears, not able to keep them back anymore. I wasn't sure what they thought, but I nodded my head as I cried, trying to wipe my tears as fast as they fell. It took Mildred a moment but then she stood up, coming up and wrapping her arms around me.

I don't think any of them knew what this meant, to be wanted like this. Even at the age of seventeen, someone wanted to keep me. They didn't want me for the money, or the applause of taking in a stray, they wanted me.

Barry got up too and wrapped his arms around both of us, and I wrapped my arms around his forearms, pressing my face into Mildred's shoulder.

"You want me?" I asked through my tears.

"Of course, we do," Mildred said softly, kissing my head tenderly. Andrew had a few tears in his eyes too, taking one of my hands when I let go of Mildred. I sucked in a deep breath and licked my lips. I cleared my throat and sat up straighter, reaching for my orange juice. Mildred and Barry both sat back down, both teary-eyed as they smiled at each other.

"When did you guys think about this?" I asked, a small hiccup escaping my lips.

"About three months ago," Barry said, "We thought that you needed to know what a stable home felt like, and it didn't matter to us that you were almost grown. We wanted you to know that you always had a family to come home to. Even after you've grown and made a life of your own, you can always come back here. This is your home, always.

I smiled and wiped at a few more tears that spilled over my cheeks.

"I don't think any of you know what that means to me," I whispered.

"We don't, but we know that it means more than you can explain," Barry said softly, spearing a piece of bacon off the plate.


DPOV

I was trying to focus on the keys in front of me, but my phone was buzzing madly against the table. I sighed quietly and picked it up, furrowing my brows at it.

"Millie?" I asked when I answered the call, setting my pencil down on the table.

"Hi Dimitri," Mildred whispered, and I could tell from the sound of her voice that something was wrong.

"Is everything okay?"

She was quiet for a minute and took a deep breath. "I know that things between you and Rose are strained, but I need a favour."

Saying things were strained wasn't an understatement, but she was still pregnant with my child. She was the woman I loved even if I had truly messed things up.

"What is it?"

"I need you to be a rock for Rose," she said, "I haven't told her yet."

"Told her what?" I asked quietly.

"Rose pushed me to go to the doctor a few days ago because I've been having stomach pains, she used the whole 'need to be healthy for the grandbaby' card. But when I got there, they said they needed to remove my gallbladder. But when they went to remove it, they found cancer instead. My pancreas," she explained. I sighed and rubbed my hand over my face, closing my eyes and I shook my head.

"Was it an early catch?"

"Somewhat," she whispered, "They gave me a year or two. Maybe more, if I choose to do treatment and surgical resection. They won't know more until they do more testing."

"And Rose doesn't know?"

"No. Nobody knows, but I need you to be there when I tell them. I need you to be there for Rose because she's losing another mother," Mildred said, her voice breaking as she spoke. I got choked up as she spoke, not wanting to fathom how she was going to react. How Andrew was going to react.

"Of course, whatever I can do," I said quietly, looking up when Ivan let himself into my apartment. I gestured for him to be quiet.

"When are you going to tell them?"

"I'm hoping to tell them later today, before I lose my nerve," Mildred said.

"Just let me know the time, and I'll be there," I said.

"Thank you, Dimitri. This means a lot."

I nodded to myself and hung up, setting my phone down on the table and put my head in my hands. Ivan set a coffee down on the table beside my phone.

"Are you okay?"

"No," I said and pulled my head out of my hands, "I need to cancel the rest of my day."

"You have an interview at three-"

"I need to cancel my day. Tell them that it's due to a family emergency," I said and stood up, walking to the bedroom to change. I knew that it wouldn't do much, but I wanted to be comfortable. I pulled on a knitted sweater that I knew Rose liked, always mentioning how soft it was. It was frivolous, but if she needed to be hugged, I wanted something soft for her to rub against. I came out of my room, picked up my phone took a drink of my coffee and shook my head at Ivan.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"Mildred's sick, and she asked me to be there when she tells her family. It's cancer," I said quietly, moving to put my shoes on. Ivan frowned and rubbed the back of his neck.

"That sucks, I'm sorry," he said sympathetically and picked up his phone, calling someone. I wasn't paying attention to what he said, but he must have been talking to someone about postponing my interview. Once he hung up, he gave me thumbs-up and a tight smile.

"Let me know if either of you need anything," he said. I nodded and followed him out, locking the door behind me.

The drive to Mildred's felt like ages, the minutes dragging on as I hit every red light on my way. When I pulled into the driveway, I saw Andrew's car already in the driveway. I got out and knocked on the door, running my hand through my hair as I waited. Andrew opened the door first, but I could tell by the look on his face, he knew something.

"Dimitri? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Your mother asked me to come by, something about the piano," I said, not wanting to tip him off. Asking me to come by to look at the piano wasn't completely off-brand. He nodded and let me in, leading me into the living room.

Mildred was sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her legs, her cat pressed against her hip. Rose had always called the brown tabby 'fat bastard' because was overweight and always hissed at her. But I liked him well enough. He always rubbed against my legs and wanted attention from me. She was working on a crochet project, a blanket that it looked like. She looked up when I walked in, a tired smile on her face. I had seen her when Rose was in the hospital, but now, I could see it. The slight tinge of yellow to her eyes, how thin she was.

"Hi Millie," I said as I came in, leaning down and kissing her cheek. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. Again, not something out of the norm, but it felt emotional to hug her. I knew that she was sick.

"Hi, honey. I hope I didn't pull you away from anything important," she said as she patted my shoulder. I stood up straight and shook my head.

"No. I always have time for you," I said softly. She smiled and nodded her head, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. The door had multiple knocks over the next half hour, the family I'd met at Christmas slowly arriving. I was anxiously waiting for Rose to arrive and busied myself helping Andrew make coffee.

Andrew leaned against the counter; his arms crossed as he looked at the coffee brewing. His glasses were carefully perched on the bridge of his nose, his hair a mess as it usually was.

"You know something, don't you?" he whispered, looking up at me over the rim of his glasses. I licked my bottom lip and pursed my lips.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because Rose told me that you two were working things out. And Mom just had her piano tuned a few weeks ago," he said and his lip trembled a little, "Do you know something? Because the only person I can think of that she'd tell, if it weren't her kids, is you. Because she loves you and knows that you can handle anything."

I sighed. "Andrew, it's best that Millie tells you. I'm just here for support."

Andrew nodded and swallowed thickly. I couldn't imagine what this was like for him. He lost his father almost two years ago, and now, deep down, he knew he might be losing his mother. He took a minute, blowing out a deep breath and shook his head, clearing his throat as he pulled mugs out of the cupboard.

"Does Rose have any idea?"

"I don't think so. All she knows is that Millie hasn't been feeling well," I said as I helped put things on the tray. Andrew nodded and tried to get a grip on himself, but I could see the walls cracking. I stepped away to close the door between the kitchen and the hall and gestured for him to follow me into the backyard.

Once we were outside, he braced himself against his knees, breathing raggedly.

"I knew something was wrong, and I didn't push her enough to go to the doctor. I know what jaundice looks like," he said and stood up straight, "She's sick. Isn't she?"

I nodded. "Yes."

Andrew let out a small sob, but cut it off, folding his arms over the top of his head and taking a few deep breaths. He closed his eyes and held his breath, letting it out slowly. When he opened his eyes, he looked at me.

"I'm okay," he whispered, rubbing his hand under his glasses. I waited for him to be ready to go back in. He nodded and whispered that he was ready. We walked back inside and took the coffee and tray into the living room. Rose was sitting on the couch next to Mildred, smiling at her as she rubbed her hand over Rose's stomach. You could see a distinctive bump now, and it made me smile to see her glow in her pregnancy. Even a few days ago, it wasn't as pronounced as it was now.

When Rose spotted me, her brows furrowed the slightest bit. Her lips pinched in the corner as I handed everyone their coffee. Mildred and Rose were the only ones who didn't have coffee.

"Can I get you anything? Tea, water?" I asked Mildred and Rose. Rose shook her head and Mildred smiled.

"No, thank you," Mildred whispered. There was a spot open next to Rose on the couch and I sat down, smiling softly at her.

"You're glowing," I whispered to her.

She rolled her eyes. "Is that a polite phrase for sweating like a rapist in a line-up?" she asked with a slight scoff.

"No," I said with a smile, but I knew it didn't meet my eyes. "How are you doing?"

Rose nodded. "I'm okay. I had a really good nap. What are you doing here?"

"I asked him to come," Mildred said, "I asked all of you to come for a reason."

Rose looked at Mildred and then glanced at me, her eyes flicking around the room. I could see it in her eyes, she knew something was wrong. Her family never got together unless it was a holiday. Having all of them in the room sent up red flags for her.

Mildred set her crocheting down and smoothed her hands over the blanket. She opened her mouth a few times before she started, explaining why she asked for everyone to come. As she explained, Rose's body sank further into me and the couch.

She explained the options that she was given, and as she spoke, I could see the walls starting to fall in Rose's eyes. I reached for one of her hands that was wrapped around her stomach. Her hand was limp in mine, but she didn't pull away.

Many people in the room had tear-filled eyes, but I didn't see any in Rose's eyes. It was almost like she wasn't there, instead, a shell was sitting next to me. When Mildred stopped talking, a few people started asking questions, but Rose stood up silently and walked out of the room towards the hall. I glanced at Mildred and Andrew, but got up, following Rose.

I didn't think that she should be alone, but it could go one of two ways; tears or fists. I was prepared for both. I heard Rose's footsteps on the floor upstairs and I went up the stairs, going to the room at the end on the left. I knew that once upon a time, this was her room. I remembered Rose telling me about the awful colour she had picked, simply because she was allowed to pick any colour. Mildred had left everything the way that it was, aside from Rose's personal items being removed when she moved out.

The door was ajar and I looked through the crack before I pushed it open gently, the hinge squeaking quietly. Rose sat on the bed facing the window, her hands on either side of her on the blanket. She turned her head slightly, glancing over her shoulder before looking back out the window.

"What?" she whispered.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay," I said as I walked into the room, sitting beside her slowly. She nodded her head mutely and licked her lips with a sigh. She shook her head after a moment.

"I feel like I'm cursed," she whispered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because every mother I've had has died," she said as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Mildred is still here," I soothed but she shook her head.

"People don't survive pancreatic cancer," she whispered. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her against me, resting my head on her head.

"You heard what she said, depending on her treatment, she may still have a few years."

"Or only a few months," Rose returned and sat up straight. I let my arm drop and I rubbed her lower back gently, waiting for her to be ready to speak. After a few minutes, she sniffed again, her tears rolling silently down her cheeks. I knew not to coddle her, but I wanted her to know I was there.

I watched the emotions flicker over her, it was as if she went through all the stages of grief in five minutes. Anger was one I expected, and when she punched my shoulder, I wasn't completely surprised. I had seen her use a punching bag to deal with her emotions before.

"Did that make you feel better?" I asked.

She nodded her head before shaking it, her sobs coming out harder and she turned into me, wrapping her arms around me. I held her tightly and rubbed my hand over her back, kissing her head as I rocked her gently.

"I hate this," she sobbed. I nodded against her head.

"I know, Roza. I know," I whispered.

She pulled up and sniffed, excusing herself. I watched her walk into the bathroom and stood up, heading back down the stairs.


RPOV

I splashed my face with cold water and dabbed it dry, looking at how red my eyes were. This was not what I was expecting when I came over. I knew that everyone was hurting downstairs, but I felt like I was being smothered in everyone else's grief.

Dimitri wasn't in the bedroom anymore and I walked down the stairs, rubbing at my stomach so I wouldn't scratch it. My skin had become itchy over the last few days, and I noticed that my skin looked stretched too thin. Anywhere that I had scratched, left angry red marks for hours.

When I made it to the bottom of the stairs, I could hear Dimitri speaking to someone in the kitchen. I stopped outside the door and tilted my head, seeing him and Mildred.

"You have to tell her that you love her. Because she doesn't hear that enough for any of us," Mildred said.

"I know."

"And you have to be there for her, even if she's angry with you. You need to be her family. You have a child together, you have to be her rock, even if she isn't with you. Because while she'll still have Andy, you need to be there. Promise me that you'll take care of her."

I felt my eyes water all over again at her words.

"I promise," Dimitri pleaded quietly, "I always will. She means everything to me."

I licked my lips and moved back into the living room before they came out, taking my spot on the couch again. When Mildred and Dimitri came back out, Dimitri offered me a mug with steam floating from the top. I took it with a quiet thank you, already knowing that it was lemon tea. He still knew what I needed. He knew that when I was sad, I gravitated towards lemon tea or hot chocolate, but hot chocolate didn't agree with me lately.

He moved to sit on the chair, but I stopped him, pulling his hand gently to sit next to me. I wasn't sure where we stood right now, but I wanted him here. And I was thankful that Mildred asked him to be here.

I pursed my lips as Hersey moved across the couch, rubbing his hand against my stomach. I raised my brows at him and looked at Andrew.

"There's something wrong with him," I stated.

"You're pregnant. Cats like to be near pregnant people. They can smell the hormone change," he laughed.

I made a face and scratched Hersey's head, listening to the obnoxious loud purr as he tilted his head towards me. Everyone else was calmer now, everyone talking amongst themselves. As I sat there and petted Hersey, he climbed into my lap and curled up, his big green eyes looking up at me.

"Okay, maybe you aren't so bad. I do miss you sometimes," I mused to myself. He would come and sleep at the end of my bed when I was recovering. It was strange because I had never been a fan of cats, and after I was able to be moved into a real bed, he was always there in the night. Sometimes, he'd lay on the pillow beside me and I'd wake up with a face full of fur.

Dimitri chuckled quietly beside me and asked Millie what she was working on with her crochet project.

"It's a blanket for the baby," she said with a smile, holding it up for us to see. She had a good chunk of it down. It was a beautiful white blanket, and I could tell from here that it was soft.

"It's beautiful," I whispered.

Millie beamed at me. "Since you aren't finding out what you're having, I thought white would be nice," she said.