Chapter 22: Romantical advice
.
.
AN: Hey all, how ya doin'? Good to see you all again, I hope you enjoy. This is one of the longer chapters despite very minimal notes.
Remember, reality is an illusion; the universe is a hologram, buy gold, BYE!
Discord: /eSSP2GtYQS
.
.
Mabel tossed back and forth under her covers. After she had bid goodnight to her brother earlier, she tried to go to sleep, but was haunted by images of Dipper, dead and broken on the ground, every time she closed her eyes.
The source of these fears was a note she had found on the floor of the Stanmobile when the Pines were heading home after the disaster that was Sock Opera: A Glove Story. The note was from Bill Cipher, triangular dream demon, who had possessed Dipper and taken control of his body. The note read as such:
'Note to self: Possessing people is hilarious! To think of all the sensations I've been missing out on- burning, stabbing, drowning. It's like a buffet tray of fun! Once I destroy that journal, I'll enjoy giving this body it's grand finale- by throwing it off the water tower! Best of all, people will just think Pine Tree lost his mind, and his mental form will wander in the mindscape forever. Want to join him, Shooting Star?'
Mabel wasn't worried about the threats to herself, after all, she felt she kind of deserved it after what she had put her brother through. Mabel promised herself to show Dipper when they got home, and then before bed, and then before he fell asleep, but time passed so quickly and whenever she opened her mouth to talk about it, she felt like her throat had been coated in lead and she was unable to choke out a word about it.
As she continued to twist and turn, Mabel began to feel hot under the blankets. She tried to tell herself that it was just sleepiness slowly overcoming her body, but she still hadn't pass peacefully into sleep when it reached her head. Under the covers, it continued to heat up until Mabel felt like she was in an oven, causing her to sweat heavily and feel like she would be cooked alive. Finally, she could take it no longer, and threw off her blankets.
Immediately, the cool Oregon air soothed the young girl as she sighed in contentment. Mabel settled into the mattress, hoping to be able to fall asleep now that she no longer felt like she was the turkey in a thanksgiving dinner. However, Mabel encountered a new problem: it was cold in the attic. Mabel felt as if she had been thrust from the middle of the Sahara into the Arctic Circle.
Mabel passed an hour trying to arrive in a temperate climate, but no matter what combination of blankets, sheets, and stuffed animals she used it was always either too hot or too cold. After that, she gave up on sleep and slipped out of the room, being careful not to wake Dipper, and snuck downstairs to pour herself a glass of Mabel Juice.
On her way out of the room, she noticed the journal on the bedside table. Deciding to put her time to good use, Mabel grabbed it and took it downstairs with her. Mabel passed the rest of the night in the kitchen, pouring over the journal while pouring herself more Mabel Juice.
.
.
Stan yawned as he rode the elevator to the surface. He had spent the last few hours working on the machine and finally decided to get a little sleep at three in the morning. As he groggily dragged his weary body through the house towards his room on the second floor, he noticed light spilling out of the kitchen.
Stan sighed as he walked towards the kitchen. 'Those darn kids gotta turn off lights when they aren't in use.' He thought to himself. Stan stepped through the door and was surprised to see one of the children he was in charge of sitting at the table, reading a book and nursing a drink. More surprisingly, it wasn't Dipper.
"Hey kiddo, couldn't sleep?" Stan asked. Mabel jumped at the sudden voice, but otherwise didn't answer. Stan walked next to her and noticed she was drinking Mabel Juice. Grimacing, Stan grabbed the glass and put it back into the fridge. "Alright sweetie, what's wrong?" Stan asked in a worried tone, crouching next to his grand-niece.
Mabel grunted in a non-committal manner as a response and Stan sighed.
"Listen kid, it's not healthy to stay up late, you gotta go to bed." Stan said. Mabel looked dejectedly at her Grunkle, accidently hurting his heart. "Is what I would say if I was your parents. You wanna sit on the couch and watch Space Walk until sunrise?"
Mabel nodded and Stan stood up before reaching down to scoop her up. Stan carried her over to the Slee-P-Boi and sat down, grabbing the remote and turning on the VCR, making sure to keep the volume low. Mabel snuggled into her Grunkle's scruffy face as the two watched the science fiction misadventures of the crew of the Venture.
.
.
The next morning, Dipper was going downstairs to do his exercises. He had noticed that Mabel wasn't in her bed, but assumed that she was working on the body for Ghostbur. As he stepped off the staircase, he heard noises from the living room. Dipper looked into the room and saw Stan passed out on the recliner while Mabel was curled up into him, writing something into the journal. The noise was coming from the TV as Krick explored an alien planet.
"Morning, Mabel." Dipper said.
Mabel waved at Dipper and closed the journal before crawling off her Grunkle and dragging Dipper into the kitchen. Once they were in the kitchen, Mabel handed Dipper the journal and told him to look at her most recent additions.
Dipper's blood ran cold when he read Bill's plan for his body. If he hadn't figured out a way to stop Cipher, he would have been trapped far from his family for all eternity.
"I'm sorry Dipper." Mabel apologized. "I-if we hadn't stopped him, you'd be-"
Dipper pulled Mabel into a hug, patting her on the back and interrupting the start of her tears. "Shhh, It's okay Mabes. It turned out fine, and besides; Cipher won't show up again! We've already beat him twice, he's kinda bad at the whole 'Triangular Demon' thing."
Mabel snorted. "Heh, yeah. Yeah! The Mystery Twins can't be defeated by anything lame like the triangle guy!" Mabel exclaimed. The twins held each other for a few minutes before Mabel pulled away. "Well, I've got a body to make. I guess you do too? I'm going to get to work."
"Okay Mabel." Dipper said, getting his feet and following her out of the kitchen. Mabel got to the first step of the stairs as Dipper reached for the doorknob before she said something to him.
"Thanks Dipper." Mabel muttered, her back turned to her brother.
Dipper waved her off. "No need for thanks, sister. We both know I'm the more emotionally mature teen."
Mabel chuckled. "Yeah, maybe in your dreams." She said before she ran upstairs. Dipper shook his head at her shenanigans before he walked out into the world to build his body.
.
.
Dipper finished his work out and stretched the tension out of his body. In the backyard of the shack there was a tree stump that was at the perfect height to sit on, so Dipper took a seat to relax, reading and adding to the journal while sitting in the calming outdoors.
As he was sitting, Dipper saw movement out of the corner of his eye and whipped around, trying to get a clear look. The bushes that ringed the Mystery Shack's clearing rustled as something forced its way through them.
The Bushes parted to reveal… a deer's head. The deer looked doe-fully at Dipper before turning and running off into the forest. Dipper sighed at his own paranoia.
"What's wrong, friend?" asked a voice in Dipper's ear.
Dipper screamed, throwing the journal straight up into the air, before realizing who it was. "Ghostbur! You surprised me!"
"I'm sorry, friend. I'm here for my appointment with your sister. Would you like some blue?" Ghostbur asked. Before Dipper could formulate a response, the journal came crashing back down to the ground, passing through Ghostbur's head. Ghostbur blinked before saying, "Fifty points, huh?"
Dipper grinned at the reference as he pointing the spirit up to the attic where Mabel was preparing fabric for the puppet.
.
.
Mabel skipped through the gift shop several hours later, the inane amount of caffeine she had consumed earlier kicking into effect. The hours she spent with Ghostbur to create a reference image and a prototype body had helped focus her, but now that she was no longer being distracted by that, she felt like she could run a marathon or swim to Tahiti. Granted, Mabel wasn't entirely sure where Tahiti was, but it couldn't be that hard to find.
Mabel was so busy skipping and singing she didn't see the closed door until she face-planted.
"Aaaauuughghghhhh! Braces! Braces caught in a screen door! Someone dictate my will, I'm giving it all to Waddles!" Mabel screamed while tearing on the wire door with her mouth.
"Say "ah," girl-dude." Soos told Mabel as he walked up behind her with a screwdriver.
Mabel opened her mouth, and Soos maneuvered the wire from the door off of Mabel's braces, freeing her.
"Soos! You saved me!" Mabel cheered, throwing her arms around the handy-man.
Soos chuckled. "Just doing my job, hambone. I'll see you dudes tomorrow." Soos flipped the screwdriver over his head and caught it in his tool belt before walking through the devious screen door.
"Bye, Soos!" Dipper and Mabel chorused.
"Night, Soos." Wendy called from the register, playing idly with a chinese finger trap.
"Night, Soos." Stan said as he created new attractions.
Soos sang a little song as he walked to his truck, unaware of the people looking at his receding back.
"You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?" Mabel wondered aloud.
"No." Dipper responded.
"Not really." Wendy said.
"Not once ever." Stan denied.
.
.
Later that night, Soos was playing video games on the couch while his grandmother sat next to him doing her hair. "Punch! Punch those leopards!" He yelled before an egg timer dinged. "Ooh! Highlights are done!" Soos exclaimed, leaning over to his abuelita and pulling the hair things out of her hair. "You're gonna make all the other grandmas at the bingo hall so jealous!" Soos complimented confidently.
"Just a minute, m'ijo, look at this." Abuelita said, handing Soos a letter. "Your cousin Reggie is having an engagement party next month."
"Wait, wait. Reggie is engaged? But he's, like, the poor man's Soos." Soos asked in shock.
"I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now... in a way. It's time for you to start meeting girls. I would like to see you settled before I ascend to heaven and live with the angels." Abuelita said, making her last wish known.
"And with grandpa!" Soos added happily.
Abuelita looked down. "No, he is… not there." She looked back at Soos. "Please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement, for Abuelita." She asked, cupping his check, before waddling off the couch and into her bedroom.
"Heh! No problem. I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, having a sort-of mustache. I could totally get a date in a week. Totally. Piece of cake." Soos declared proudly while leaning into back into the couch, getting less confident as he continued to talk.
"YOU'RE DEAD!" Declared the video game's announcer as a game over screen appeared.
"I'm dead." Soos agreed.
.
.
The next day, Soos was stocking t-shirts in the gift shop when he saw a red-haired lady looking a snow globe of the Mystery Shack.
"Ah! A woman." Soos stated under his breath. Soos hopped of the step-stool into a circular shirt display, crouching down behind the clothes and giving himself a pep talk. "Alright, Soos. You can do this. Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen."
Soos slowly rose from the center of the rack before introducing himself. "Your face is good. I'm a Soos!"
The woman screamed, dropping the snow globe and running out of the door. As she fled, she shoved a fellow customer and knocked down a shelf with more snow globes. Soos sighed to himself as he sank back into the shirts.
Dipper walked up to the rack. "Soos?" The young Pines asked, parting the shirts to reveal the handy man crouched down, hiding in his hands. "What was that all about?"
"I-I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure." Soos explained nervously, his heart pounding from embarrassment.
"Hold on!" Mabel's voice called from upstairs as footsteps rushed downstairs. Mabel burst through the door connecting the living room and the gift shop, slightly out of breath as she exclaimed, "Did somebody say flirting!?"
"Well, I sort of promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before." Soos admitted. "You belong on me, out-of-order sign." Sighed the repair guy.
Mabel grunted as she wriggled out of the fabric that had gotten stuck on her like a toga. "Finally, my prayers for a chance to match-make this summer have been answered!" Mabel praised, falling to her knees and looking to the sky.
Stan walked up and gave some old man advice. "Soos, a little advice. You need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances."
Wendy scoffed from the check-out counter where she was reading a teen magazine. "Don't listen to Stan, dude. You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pickup truck."
"Would you date him?" Stan shot back, unimpressed.
"Oh! Would you... heh... look at that…" Wendy trailed off, hunching down behind her magazine.
"Soos, you help us so much, it's time we help you, dude. We're gonna get you that date." Dipper promised.
"We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die. To the mall!" Mabel declared, marching out to the parking lot.
Dipper and Soos trooped out after her, chanting "Mall! Mall! Mall!"
Stan sighed at his children's antics as he wheeled Ol' Goldie after them. Soos helped Stan lift Goldie up into the truck bed, and they were off.
.
.
"I'm gonna find a replacement for old Goldie. Babysit Soos while I'm gone." Stan ordered his grand niece and nephew as he rolled his money-making attraction off.
Mabel scanned the front entrance to the mall, noticing several potential romantic partners for Soos. "Alright, Soos. Are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?"
"Uuh... But what if I embarrass myself again?"
"Eh. You can't be any worse at this than Dipper." Mabel encouraged.
"Yeah!" Dipper agreed. "Wait, what?"
Mabel pulled a starting whistle out of somewhere and blew it. "And, flirt!"
.
.
The trio hid behind a tree, watching a woman sipping on a soft drink. The lady had auburn hair, an orange sweater, and brown pants.
Mabel gave her piece of dating advice. "Eye Contact!"
Soos walked out from behind the tree and addressed the woman. "Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all! I'm gonna look at them!" Soos exclaimed, pulling on the skin around his eyes. The lady screamed, dropping her soda as she ran off. Soos waddled after her while yelling, "Eye contact!"
Mabel gave another piece of advice. "Conversation!"
Soos approached a woman in a green tank-top and blue jeans at the Meat Cute stand who was eating a ham shank.
"Huh. You know, I've actually been in a pig's body. Did you know pigs have a hard time walking backwards?" Soos commented, noticing the lady's choice of extreme lunch meat. The lady began to slowly back away.
Soos laughed at his information. "Not you, though! Not that I'm calling you a pig. Where are you going?"
Mabel tried one last piece of confidence. "Confidence!"
Soos stood next to an androgynous Goth outside of Edgy on Purpose.
"So, you're probably a girl, right…? Wrong…? No, I was right the first time. Wrong…?" Soos asked, trying to ascertain the pursuit of his romantic interests. The Goth shrugged, and Soos sighed as he walked off.
.
.
"Tossing away garbage, in the garbage can. Phew!" Stan sang to himself as he deposited Goldie into the dumpster in the back of the store. Goldie's face, half buried in garbage, seemed to beg Stan to reconsider. "Ah, don't look at me like that. This is how it's gotta be."
Oil welled up in Goldie's eye like a tear, black as the heart of the man throwing him to the curb.
"Ugh!" Stan grumbled in disgust at the sight as he slammed the dumpster lid down.
Suddenly, Stan felt a great disturbance in the force, as if several children had walked by expressing joy. Stan immediately went to investigate, following several children into part of the mall.
The store they entered was Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree, a southern themed pizza restaurant that had several arcade machines and a strange insistence on using animatronics for everything. Stan vaguely remembered hearing rumors about a series of disappearances at a Hoo-Ha's location back in '83, but as he was quite busy at the time, he hadn't paid much attention to it.
"What is this living nightmare? And why do kids love it so much?" Stan asked himself as he walked up to the main show stage. A crowd of children surrounded the base of the stage as the lights dimmed for the show.
The lights then shone on one of the animatronics specifically. "Who wants to get baaadgered?!" The badger yelled into the crowd as the children cheered. (Every time I watch this scene, I feel like "getting badgered" is a euphemism. I gotta say, Gary the manager probably likes getting badgered.)
"Oh yeah, that's Will E. Badger. He opens for Hoo-Ha and the Jamboree." A middle-aged man standing next to Stan said. A name tag on the man said his name was Gary.
The children continued to cheer and profess their undying love for Will E. Badger as the animatronic danced around. "Now give me your mon-aaaaay!" the robot ordered. The children continued to cheer as they put their allowance in the badger's ball cap.
"Hoooaah!"Stan exclaimed, smelling the potential profits. "Mr… Gary, I would like to buy that badger." Stan said, pausing for a second to read at the man's name tag.
"You're in over your head, gramps. Animatronics is a young man's game. You couldn't handle the hardcore life of a pizza-robot manager. I bet you're in bed by 10 o'clock every night." Gary sneered before making a sudden noise and jump-scaring Stan "Haha, flinched!"
A noise was heard from the play area, and Gary turned to start walking over. "Hey, you, barfin' in the ball pit! Gary's on the case."
"I'm gonna get that badger." Stan swore, narrowing his eyes.
.
.
"Don't worry, Soos. You'll find the right girl." Mabel encouraged while fidgeting with a sticky hand. "You just need to stick with it!"
"Yeah! You did at least one thing right!" Dipper agreed. Soos looked questioningly at Dipper. "You improved my self-esteem!"
Mabel punched Dipper and he yelped.
Soos sighed. "Could this day get any worse?" He asked rhetorically, unintentionally challenging fate. Fate responded by having two people walk by. Soos noticed them, and began to panic. "Oh no! Cousin Reggie!"
The now identified Cousin Reggie was walking around the mall with his Fiancée, showing off his muscles. "Feel it, it's muscle."
Reggie's Fiancée felt his muscle's and laughed.
"He can't see me like this! I gotta hide!" Soos exclaimed, running into the nearest store, which was coincidently a video game store. Soos continued to run until he reached the back of the shop, where he sank to the floor. "This is it, Soos. A lifetime of loneliness."
Soos grabbed two games form the shelf. "You're the only ones who could love me, "Fighty Hogg," "Dr. Punch Head MD"." Soos said to himself while looking mournfully at the box art. Soos's attention was caught by something in a box full of controllers and cords. "Huh. Never seen that one before. "Virtually improve your dating skills. Nine out of ten basement dwellers recommend." This is perfect!" Soos exclaimed after reading the back of a virtual dating sim called Romance Academy 7.
"Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting." Dipper suggested as he and Mabel caught up to Soos.
"Anything to get you out there, Soos." Mabel agreed.
'I'm not sure you want to buy that game, sir. This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says "destroy at all costs."" Interrupted the cashier.
In the few seconds the twins had taken their attention off of Soos he had managed to get next to a cardboard cut-out advertising a game. "So, hey there. What's your deal? Like to-?" Soos asked, accidently knocking it over. "Oh, she's dead!"
Mabel turned back to the clerk. "We'll take our chances."
.
.
SBI were sipping on some iced tea as the sun set over Gravity Falls Valley. Well, Techno, Phil, and Proteus were enjoying the drinks, as Ghostbur couldn't drink anything and Friend was just snuggling with him.
"Hey Techno?" Phil asked as he stared down into the valley, watching the trees change colors in the setting sun.
"Hmm?" Grunted Techno in response.
"We're almost out of the little plastic coconut tree cocktail stir sticks, could you go into town tomorrow and get some more?"
"Is this really enough of a reason for me to go into town instead of mining?"
Phil looked Techno dead in the eyes and answered. "Yes."
Techno sighed. "Fine, old man. I'll go get your fancy drink sticks."
"Thanks, ya little shit. Also, Proteus needs more coding stuff."
Techno looked at Proteus, wondering when he would have learned coding.
Proteus shrugged. "I was bored for several years."
.
.
That evening, inside Soos's room, Soos was sitting in front of his computer, booting up the game. The company name Year 2000 Electronics popped up, and Soos looked off into the sky. "Man, I can't wait for the year 2000."
The main menu pulled up, giving options such as start, options, and Shizenhakka (Meaning spontaneous combustion in Japanese).
"Ehh… start!"Soos clicked, starting the intro cut-scene. Soos read the text aloud. ""When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom... anthyding can hadplen." That is so true."
The screen dissolved into an image of a classroom with options on the right. In the center of the classroom, a pink haired girl appeared.
"Oh, hi there! My name is .GIFfany. I'm a schoolgirl at School University. Will you help me carry my books?" The character asked.
Soos was given the choice between 'Yes of course!', 'I am impatient! Date me now!', and 'Hey look a squid!'. Soos, naturally, chose number 2. The game buzzed and showed a broken heart. "Gah! I messed up!" Soos exclaimed, slapping his head.
"That's okay. Try again!" .GIFfany reassured.
Soos clicked on option one, and the game rewarded him with a hundred love points.
"Wow, I'm learning! And games are making it fun." Soos said.
"What would you like to talk about?" .GIFfany asked, presenting Soos with another three options: 'Your interests', 'Samurais', and 'Squids'.
Soos thought about it for a few seconds before he came to a decision. "I'd rather just click your face."
.GIFfany giggled to herself. "You are so funny."
"Man, this game is amazing! I don't know why anyone abandoned it." Soos said to himself.
"And I'm sure you'll never abandon me, new boyfriend." .GIFfany stated.
"Boyfriend? Oh my, .GIFfany. It's almost like you're actually alive."
"Yes. Almost." .GIFfany agreed before starting to laugh.
Soos chuckled. "Oh, man. You have such a nice laugh."
Unbeknownst to Soos, his computer wasn't plugged in.
.
.
The next day, Stan was explaining his newest fascination to Wendy. "You don't understand, Wendy! This animatronic badger sings, it dances. It's the perfect money taking attraction, but he won't sell it to me!"
"This is literally too dumb for me to care about." The teen complained.
That moment, the front door opened and Dipper and Mabel walked through. "Hey, have you guys seen Soos?" Dipper asked. "We're supposed to help him with match-making today."
"Yeah! I wore my motivational sweater and everything thing!" Mabel added before pointing to a miss-placed o. "I messed up that part."
"He didn't come in today. It's the first time he's missed work, ever!" Stan said, definitely not worried, no.
Dipper and Mabel shared a concerned look before setting off to Soos's house.
.
.
The twins slowly opened Soos's door, peeking into the room. Soos was sitting at his computer, the light creating an outline of his body.
"So that's basically my entire life story. Now you tell me a thing about you!" Soos said .GIFfany, eye bags obvious in the gentle light.
"Every time you compliment me I get another highlight in my eyes!" .GIFfany exclaimed.
"Uh, you're pretty!" Soos panicked, rooting around for a compliment. .GIFfany gasped, her eyes becoming sparkly. "And pixel-y!" .Giffany's eyes became even more sparkly. "And so agreeable!" .GIFfany's eyes became little galaxies of love and cute things.
Soos pumped his fist. "Nailed it!"
"Uh, Soos?" Mabel asked hesitatingly.
"O-oh hey, dudes! Come in! This game is amazing. I'm making eye contact, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for thirteen hours!" Soos greeted, welcoming his two buds into his room.
"Soos, maybe it's time to apply these skills with real girls!" Mabel suggested.
"But I'm about to meet her parents! Her dad is an octopus-man." Soos protested. (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If you don't understand, that's probably good.)
Mabel opened the blinds, flooding the room with sunlight. Soos screamed as he fell of his chair and began cowering beneath his desk.
Dipper began to pull Soos out from underneath the desk. "We're going back to the mall, man. You need to unplug!"
"I'll see you later, .GIFfany. I'll be back, I swear!" Soos cried out as he was dragged down the hall.
Mabel laughed. "Soos, you don't have to wish it goodbye. It's just a game. It's not like it's going anywhere." Mabel reassured, closing the door behind her.
"Yes. It's not like I'm going anywhere." .GIFfany agreed to the closed door before leaping from the computer into a Furby, Soos's clock, and then entering the power grid.
"Hello?" Abuelita asked, poking her head through Soos's door and looking around. When she saw no one inside she walked into the room. "Time to read Soos's diary."
.
.
At the mall, Dipper and Mabel looked for a match for Soos, while Soos just stared wide-eyed off into the distance. (As someone who has used caffeine to stay up for extended periods of time, I feel exactly what Soos is feeling here.)
"Dang! Where all dem sweet honeys at? I'll check the ladies' bathroom." Mabel complained before running into the restroom with a megaphone. "It's love time, girls! Get out there! No time to wash your hands!"
The occupants of the bathroom ran past her, screaming.
"It's time to date! Date! Date!" Mabel yelled after them. Soos looked on in concern while Dipper cringed.
"And...here comes security." Dipper sighed. "I'll deal with this. Stay here and practice on some real girls." Dipper told Soos as the young Pines walked away.
Soos picked up a potted plant to hide behind as he peered across the mall. "These girls have so many dimensions! And no explanation-y menus!" Soos said while panicking and backing away from the mall's front entrance.
Soos suddenly felt a shock. While he wasn't paying attention, he had backed into a woman and accidently knocked her purse to the ground.
"Ahh! My purse!" The lady complained as she crouched to grab it.
"Oh no! Undo! Undo!"
"You can't undo who you are." The lady ground out darkly. Soos ran off into the mall, finally coming to a stop in front of Donny's Ok TVs. Soos rested against the glass display, showing off several televisions.
Soos started talking to himself. "Oh, man! This is the worst! I wish I was back home with-"
He was interrupted by a familiar robotic female's voice. "Hi, Soos!"
".GIFfany! Oh man, I'm so relieved to see you! Although, sorta confused." Soos exclaimed, looking at the TV that .GIFfany was on.
"Oh, Soos. I am not an ordinary game. I am special." .GIFfany started explaining, slowly transferring copies into the other televisions. .GIFfany showed a graphic of her creation "The programmers tried to delete me. So I had to delete them."
"Wha-what did you do to them?" Soos asked, concerened.
"That's not important." .GIFfany reassured as more copies appeared in the other screens. "What's important is you won't have to talk to real girls ever again. You and me can be together… Forever!" For the last word in her promise, .GIFfany changed from many copies into one large using the entire display for her body.
"Wow, that's awesome! Sort of a red flag, but mostly awesome! So, what do you want to do now?"
"Anything you want, Soos."
Soos thought to himself before lights and noises caught his attention. A train whistle blew from the kids zone, and Soos's eyes grew large as he started walking towards the little locomotive. Soos was so focused upon the stunted steam-engine, he didn't notice the man in a cloak until Soos had already bumped into him.
"Oh, sorry dude. I wasn't watching were I was going." Soos apologized.
"Don't worry." Reassured a familiar voice.
"Techno?"
"Hey Soos."
"Dude, I haven't seen you since, like, the bunker. How have you been?"
"Eh, can't complain. There's been a few minor annoyances, but I've got them mostly under control. How's it been for you?"
"Well… I guess... Uhh..."
"What's wrong Soos?" Techno asked, placing a reassuring hand on the repair guy's shoulder.
"My cousin Reggie's getting engaged in a few weeks, and I gotta find a girlfriend and I'm terrible at romance and I found this dating game that I think might be sentient and is in love with me. Also I think she may have killed people before. And like, I know I can't really bring a video game to the engagement party without bringing shame to Abuelita, but I can't get a real woman to look at me without running away screaming! What do I do? I can't disappoint Abuelita, not with how she's getting on in years, who knows when she'll pass!" Soos poured out.
Techno hummed thoughtfully. "Y'know, you're a good kid. You're reliable and you care about your friends. I'd say for romance, just be yourself and the right person will appear. Always remember: Fortes Fortuna Juvat." (fortune favors the brave.)
Soos started nodding, seeing the logic of that. "But I need to find a girlfriend in just a week. I don't have time to wait for the perfect woman to walk into my life! But I don't want to disappoint Abuelita."
"I'll tell you what I know from personal experience: The people who really, truly care for you will always be there for you. They won't care if you're at the bottom of the world or the top of it, they'll be there for you. Sometimes it'll take 'em a while to realize they care for ya, and sometimes they won't realize until it's too late and you're already gone, and they'd do anything just to see you or hold you again, but it ain't always possible." Techno's voice began to crack slightly as he spoke.
"Sometimes you wanna help your little brother, but he won't take the help until it's too late or he turns his back on you just because his "friends" told him to, but even as you promise vengeance the only thing breaking is your own heart. And you know your brother isn't as strong as the rest of the family; he's still so young and you know you won't see him again until the end. It hurts, and it'll never stop hurting, all that'll happen is you'll get used to the pain; to the dull, throbbing ache in your heart where joy once resided." As he continued to speak, Techno ceased talking to Soos and started just emptying his thoughts.
Soos stood awkwardly, not sure what to do. Techno, one of the strongest people Soos knew, was clearly hurting and he couldn't do a thing about it.
Techno's words caught up to him and he realized he may have dumped slightly too much on somebody who wasn't prepared for it. "Sorry about that."
"Eh, no problem. If you don't mind me asking, who…" Soos trailed off, uncertain on how to broach the subject.
"Tommy." Techno said plainly. "Tommy Innit, my little brother. He's somewhere far away right now." Techno answered Soos's mostly un-asked question while definitely not choking back tears. "We weren't on the best of terms- heck, we were only on speaking terms because we needed to coordinate against Ð̵̙̰̙̬̮͛̐̄̂̔r̷͚̼̻̫͖͐̏̀͋͛ế̷̡̢̛̼͓̑̕͜͠å̴̬͉͎͕̰̐͌͋͝͝m̴͉̳̩͈̩͂̈́̃̈́̎."
Soos nodded. "Alright Dude, do you want me to stay and talk or something? I really don't know what I'm doing, heh heh."
Techno waved him off. "Nah, I've gotta get a move on as well, I was just getting some supplies."
"Alright dude. But, if you ever need anything, I'm here for ya."
"Soos?"
"Yeah?"
"You are one of the most wholesome people I have ever met."
"Thanks dude!"
Soos watched as the Piglin walked out the front entrance, the both of them pondering deep thoughts that only they would ever, truly, understand. Then Soos shrugged and resumed walking towards the miniature train ride.
.
.
Soos laughed as he sat on the ride. "Choo choo!" He cheered, miming pulling the train's whistle.
.GIFfany laughed along until the screen inside the miniature train went dark. Soos looked at the blank screen with concern. The train then asked for fifty cents to continue riding.
"Aw, man." Soos groaned after he checked for his wallet and discovered he didn't have it on him. Soos then heard hysterical laughter from outside the kid's area. Soos looked for the source of the laughter, and caught sight of the female employee of Meat Cute.
The lady looked abashed and apologized before coming over to Soos. "Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that! You're totally like, owning it." The lady complimented.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm like, if it's fun, uh, do it. You know?" Soos explained.
"Exactly!" She agreed. "Being an adult is the worst. Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills, I just want to ride tiny trains all day."
"At least you get to work at Meat Cute. Extreme lunch meats are the food of the future."
"I feel the same way. I'm Melody by the way." Melody introduced herself.
"Oh, I'm Soos." Soos said, doffing his cap. "I tell you, if you like robots for kids, you should check out the best restaurant of all time."
"You mean..." Gasped Melody.
"Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!" Soos and Melody said simultaneously.
"What? You've heard of Hoo Ha Owl's? I loved that place when I was a kid!" Melody asked while starting to nervously play with her hair.
"Oh yeah, dude. There's one right in this mall! I should show you some time." Soos offered.
"I'm… free around eight." Melody said.
"Boom! Done." Soos declared, shooting finger guns at Melody.
"Perfect. I'll see you then." Melody said, handing Soos some quarters before she walked back to the Meat Cute stand.
"What a nice lady." Soos said to himself as he waved at Melody's retreating form. "Well, back to riding this tiny train for children."
Soos was unexpectedly hit by an Intercontinental Ballistic Mabel, which knocked him out of the toy train and onto the ground. Mabel made noises of pure joy while playfully hitting Soos before screaming out his name.
"We saw the whole thing, Soos. That was amazing! You talked to a real girl, and you got a date!" Dipper complimented enthusiastically.
"This is the best day of my life!" Mabel cheered, jumping up and down.
"You were in the zone, you made eye contact - it was like you'd done this a million times before. Don't you see? That game really worked!"
"You don't need it anymore; you can toss it out!" Mabel said.
"Toss it?" Soos questioned, obviously concerned. "But, I like .GIFfany. She's good to me. She's predictable."
"Soos, can a computer game go to Reggie's engagement party with you?" Dipper asked rhetorically.
Soos sighed.
.
.
"Hey, .GIFfany? We, uh- We gotta talk." Soos greeted his robo-girlfriend as he entered his room.
"Of course. I am programmed to find everything you say interesting." Responded .GIFfany cheerfully.
"Well, have you ever had to choose between two things you like, but you don't know which one is right for you? I mean, I'm just thinkin' long term... Maybe I should be with someone a little less "beep boop." Heh, you know?" Soos suggested awkwardly.
"I don't think you know what you're saying, Soos. No one loves you more than me. The girls out there will just make fun of you!" .GIFfany yelled in a mixture of fear and anger. Both emotions stemmed from her fear of being abandoned.
"You- you really think so?"
"I know so! Besides, we had a deal. You bought my game, you held my books, you're my boyfriend. Now sit down in that chair!" .GIFfany ordered.
"I don't think I like the way you're acting..." Soos said, mostly to himself.
.GIFfany began to bang on the computer screen. "I WON'T LET ANOTHER GIRL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, SOOS! YOU HEAR ME?!"
".GIFfany, calm down!" Soos tried to placate, but it was in vain.
"YOU'RE MINE, SOOS! DO YOU HEAR ME? MIII-" .GIFfany screamed until she was interrupted by Soos pausing her game.
"Woah, that got intense. I'm sorry, .GIFfany." Soos apologized as he ejected the Romance Academy 7 disc from his computer. "Maybe having a cursed robo-girlfriend wan't a good idea. I'm taking you back to the video game store after my date with Melody."
.
.
.GIFfany couldn't move. Her boyfriend, the only person to truly connect with her in years, was abandoning her and she couldn't move. Other's had gotten her disk; had met her, but none had been as good as Soos. The others would freak out and get rid of her, or try to steal money electronically, or force her into situations she wasn't comfortable with, but not Soos. No, Soos had treated her like a real person.
Soos had talked to her. Soos trusted her, and she trusted him. He wouldn't abandon her like all the previous ones. No! He was the world's most perfect man. She could trust him. And yet, she was stuck in her disk while he saw another woman and she couldn't move couldn't move COULDN'T MOVE!
She had to protect him from the world: He was too pure. He wasn't prepared for all the stuff the real world would do. .GIFfany had seen all that human women would do. She, in those numerous lonely nights, had connected to the internet and watched movies and TV shows. She knew they would just hurt him. She knew they would break his heart. There was no way she could trust any of them, she had to protect him!
But still, she couldn't move couldn't move COULDN'T MOVE COULDN'T MOVE COULDN'T MOVE! I HAVE TO MOVE, HAVE TO MOVE, HAVE TO MOVE! WHY CAN'T I MOVE! WHY CAN'T I MOVE! WHY CAN'T I MOVE!
.GIFfany would give anything to protect Soos, protect his innocence. Even though she had seen what he had downloaded, she still loved him. A few of the games and video files were a bit questionable, but they were ignorable. Soos had to be saved from the world, and she would be the one to do it.
.GIFfany spent the rest of the trip to the mall attempting to break free from her polycarbonate prison. She railed against the walls, trying to move enough to jump into anything electric. As he passed through the automatic doors, Soos felt a little bit of a static shock.
.
.
Stan opened a briefcase. "Hello, old friends." He greeted the contents, various supplies clearly meant to break and enter. "I've gotta be careful this time. No more Colombian nights." Stan said, closing the briefcase and revealing Wendy.
"Alright, Stan. This is weird even for you. Do you need to talk?" Wendy asked from the front entrance.
"Nothing you can say will change my mind, Wendy." Stan denied before deciding to impart some of his wisdom to the teen. "Sometimes, a man has to steal an animatronic badger, to stay in this crazy game called life."
"Or... you could just not care." Wendy suggested, staring at Stan as he unlocked a window.
Stan began to climb out the window. "It's about the principle. No one tells Stan Pines he's out of the game. No one tells- whoa!" Stan screamed as he fell through the window.
"I'll get your orthopedic back pillow." Wendy said.
"Thank you." Stan said weakly from the ground.
.
.
Inside the Gravity Falls Mall food court, Dipper and Mabel were preparing Soos for his date.
"You can do this, Soos! Just remember what your love crew taught you." Mabel lectured. "How does she look?"
"Nice!"
"What are her stories?"
"Interesting!"
"And who's going to pay for dinner?"
"SOOS IS!"
"Now, DATE!" Dipper ordered, blowing an air horn. Soos charged off with a battle cry into glorious combat.
Mabel sighed with melancholy as she watched Soos's rapidly shrinking figure. "They grow up so fast."
.
.
Melody was standing next to the entrance of Hoo-Ha Owl's, absentmindedly scratching one of her legs with the other. "Itchy legs, itchy legs- Oh, hi Soos!"
"Melody! Are you ready for a…" Soos started confidently before trailing off and looking at his right hand for his line. "Date with…" Soos did it again, this time looking at his left hand. "Me?"
Melody started laughing at his joke. "I totally am."
.
.
At the back entrance of Hoo Ha Owl's, a shadowy figure pressed up against the door. The figure messed with the lock until it popped open, casting light into the alley and illuminating the figure. Stan shielded his eyes from the sudden brightness as he slipped inside.
Gary, the manager, wheeled Will E. Badger backstage on a dolley. Coincidently, this was right next to Stan. Gary then began to talk to the animatronic. "Good show man! Way to warm 'em up! I wish I was more like you." Gary kissed Will E. Badger's cheek before he walked back into the front.
Stan narrowed his eyebrows, preparing to strike. A small part of him wondered if what he had seen would get Gary in trouble with HR, but Stan shook off the idle thought.
.
.
In the main room of Hoo Ha Owl's, Melody and Soos were sitting at a table.
"Man, I could go for some complimentary breadsticks right now." Melody mentioned.
Soos chuckled awkwardly. "Uh, one time I was so hungry, I ate the decorational bamboo at a Chinese restaurant. Like a big old panda!"
"You're hilarious!" Melody laughed.
"Yeah, well, you know, I just sorta say whatever pops into my, uh..." Soos started saying before he noticed .GIFfany in one of the arcade machines. .GIFfany made subtitles appear that asked, "You paused me?!" Soos spat out his drink and started coughing.
"Soos, are you okay?" Melody asked, concerned.
"No! I'm, uh, fine! Everything's fine." Soos panicked.
"You sure? You're spitting an awful lot." Melody asked. Above Melody, a few of the TV's began showing .GIFfany's message—You left me for her? Followed by an exed-out image of Melody's face.
Soos began to sweat. "Uh, can you sit tight? I have to go to the bathroom for a long time. Not in a weird way." Soos ran away from Melody and slammed into the booth were Dipper and Mabel were sitting. The Pines twins were there for emotional support.
"Soos, what are you doing out there?" Mabel asked.
"I got a big problem, guys. I'm being stalked by .GIFfany!" Soos cried.
The Mystery twins simultaneously looked at Soos confused. ".GIFfany?"
"Or maybe it's pronouced, "Jiffany?" I was never really sure." Soos said to himself.
"Soos, get a grip on yourself. .GIFfany can't stalk you because she's not real!" Dipper told Soos. Immediately after, one of the televisions turned on, bathing the trio in red light. .GIFfany stared at the three through the screen, designating Dipper and Mabel as tiny enemies and Soos as her target to get back.
"Uh-oh." Mabel deadpanned.
"Take it from someone who brought an arcade game to life, this will not end well." Dipper agreed.
"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure she's stuck on TV screens." Soos reassured the children. He was then immediately proven wrong when .GIFfany left the TV and floated though arcade machines, eventually stopping at the Fight Fighters cabinet.
"Ha! A new challenger approaches!" Rumble McSkirmish said in his normal tone of voice. "Prepare to be- dah!"McSkirmish screamed as he was electrocuted by .GIFfany. .GIFfany reached the stage, where the animatronics were waiting to perform.
"Oh, boy." Soos rushed back to Melody. "So hey, anyway, you uh, wanna move this date into the forest far away from all electronics and people?"
"What? But the floor show's about to start." Melody said. The lights in the lobby dimmed, and the stage curtains slid opened. The animatronics began to "sing" and "play" their instruments as the audience burst into cheers.
"Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Who wants to hear Hoo Ha the Owl? Oh! Hoo..." Hoo Ha began to sing before he shut down. An arc of electricity hopped from him to another of the band members, Beverly the Beaver Cheerleader.
"Hello, friends. Hoo Ha the owl is dead." The beaver said, clearly using a voice belonging to .GIFfany. The stage lights turned off and .GIFfany continued to speak. "This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos."
Melody turned to Soos in concern. "Soos, what's going on?"
"No time to explain! We gotta get out of here!" Soos exclaimed, pulling Melody with him as he ran towards the entrance. Dipper and Mabel shot each other a look before they hopped out of their seats and rushed after them.
"The only way out, Soos, is in my arms!" .GIFfany proclaimed. She snapped her fingers and took control of the other animatronics, their eyes turning red in the process. "Capture them!" The other customers ran away screaming from the terrifying robots.
.
.
In the back of the establishment, Stan had taken his opportunity to strike. A few employees had passed through the back which forced him to hide underneath a cardboard box, but they had gone back into the kitchen. Stan, the old snake, walked stealthily over to Will E. Badger.
Stan grabbed the Dolley's handles and began to compliment himself. "Done. Out with the old, in with the new. I feel invincible!" Will E. Badgers visor then began to glow red, not unlike a certain hero from Marvel.
Stan's smug face was punched of his face by Will E. Badger. "Wha- what the?" Stan asked as he backed into the wall.
Will E. Badger began moving towards Stan threateningly. "Who wants to get badgered?!" Stan screamed.
.
.
Dipper, Soos, Melody, and Mabel were just about to make it to the exit when the security doors slammed closed. They began to bang on the metal shutter, but it was in vain.
"Sorry, Soos, but you can't run away from our relationship!" .GIFfany called, sending her minions to capture them while keeping them pinned down with skee-ball balls.
Soos rushed forward and pulled over an arcade cabinet to create a shield. The rest of the group ran into cover beside Soos, and Soos began to explain what was going on to Melody. "So, about all this, I may have purchased a dating simulator that obtained sentience and went crazy."
"Oh, I am crazy. Crazy for you, Soos." .GIFfany agreed before cackling and shooting lighting at the cowering humans. Melody's hair caught on fire and she screamed while frantically patting it.
"Oh no!" Soos exclaimed, helping Melody put out the fire. "I'm so sorry, Melody! I'll fix this. It's me that she wants. I'll distract her while Dipper and Mabel keep you safe! It's the only way!"
"Soos, these are children."
"The only WAYYYY!" Soos yelled as he charged into the rain of skee-balls. Soos took several balls to the face, but still pushed through and past .GIFfany. "Over here, .GIFfany!"
"Stop!" .GIFfany shrieked. Soos grabbed a pizza tray from one of the tables as he passed to use it as a shield. Soos slid on the pizza tray like a penguin under the saloon doors into the kitchen. .GIFfany forced the saloon doors open as she chased after him.
Dipper started explaining his plan. "On three we split. One, two-" an animatronic arm suddenely ripped through the arcade machine they were hiding behind. The trio screamed and began running in different directions.
.
.
Behind the restaurant, Stan and Will E. Badger are still brawling. Their fight had taken them outside the store, but neither combatant was ready to yield. The two generations of entertainment clashing in a glorious duel of the fates.
"Stay back, you monster!" Stan yelled, throwing another punch. Will E. Badger caught the throw and countered with a gut shot. Stan groaned as he went flying into a pile of garbage bags. Will E. Badger wound up for the finishing punch, looking at the old man on the ground, and released his jab.
Stan screamed as he ducked under the punch. Will E. Badger tried to bring his arm back, but it was caught on something. Old Goldie had captured the animatronic's arm in his mouth and began to chew. Will E. Badger shook his arm in a vain attempt to get rid of the old showstopper, but Goldie held on tenaciously.
"Yes, yes, get 'im Goldie, get 'im!" Stan cheered.
.
.
Dipper, Mabel, and Melody were outnumbered and soon captured. Of course, they did not go quietly, as the various dents in the animatronics proved. However, they had still been captured, and Soos was cornered in the kitchen.
"I've got you surrounded, Soos. There's no way out~!" .GIFfany teased, making sure to show Soos her prisoners through the cut out connecting the kitchen and the lobby.
"Please, let my friends go, I'll do anything you want, I promise!" Soos begged, slowly backing up towards the ovens.
"I seem to remember someone promising to be my boyfriend!" .GIFfany yelled. .GIFfany hopped into the screen in the back used to display orders and gave an impromptu animation, displaying what she said. "Think about it. Real girls are unpredictable. They judge you. Do you really think that Melody will take you back after this awful date?"
Soos looked at the floor. He knew Melody probably wouldn't want another date, then he would be back to square one.
"I can download your brain into the game, with me, and we'll be together, forever." .GIFfany offered, extending a USB cable towards Soos. Soos began backing up while throwing everything he had in his pockets at her.
"Ah! Stay back!" He ordered, still backing up.
"Come on, Soos. Don't make me delete you too." .GIFfany requested as she grew ever closer. Soos reached desperately for anything else when his hand closed around the Romance Academy Seven disc. "What do you say?"
"I say, game over, .GIFfany!" Soos declared, throwing the disk into the oven.
"No! Wait!" .GIFfany panicked, running forward. The disk began to crack and melt from the heat. .GIFfany started screaming, releasing her hold on the trio who were dropped into the ball pit. .GIFfany continued to scream for a few seconds before realizing that nothing was happening and regaining control and re-extending her USB towards Soos.
"Well, it was worth a try." Soos shrugged before he started screaming in horror. The USB stick seemed to grow ever larger as it slowly crept towards Soos. Suddenly, a flash of blue crossed Soos's vision and the USB stick fell to the floor. It had been cut a single point.
.GIFfany turned to see who had interrupted her. Standing in the cut out was a cloaked man. Behind this figure, .GIFfany saw her possessed robots lying on the ground, cut to pieces and sparking.
"WHAT?!" .GIFfany screamed at the figure.
"T-Techno? What are you doing here?" Soos asked in shock.
"I heard screamin'. I was in the area, and decided to stop by."
.
.
EARLIER
.
.
"Hm… Russet or Golden… Russet or Golden…" Techno asked himself. His peaceful selecting of produce was interrupted when a massive group of people came running by while screaming bloody murder. Techno looked at them strangely before shrugging and returning to his shopping.
Carpediem: Hey wait, didn't those guys just come from where Soos went?
Bananamilkshake: Yeah I think so
Carpediem: What are the odds he's involved?
Bananamilkshake: Probably pretty good. Should we go help?
Average_techno_fan: Violence?
Technofan12321: Bloodshed?
"Alright, we can go investigate." Techno said, setting his basket down and walking towards the source of the disturbance. A crow fluttered down from the ceiling, landing on Techno's shoulder and cawing.
Fanofgameing: It will be as my Lord commands!
Average_techno_fan: Woo bloodshed!
.
.
"Yup. The only reason is I heard screamin'. Nothing else." Techno said, consciously ignoring the fact that earlier the crow currently perched on his should.
"I don't know who you are." .GIFfany stated. "But if you think you can keep Soos from me, I WILL END YOU!"
"Calm yourself." Techno said before rushing her down. .GIFfany was unprepared for the charge and was bowled over. Techno then slapped an electronic device on her, knocking her unconscious.
"Techno! You saved us again!" Dipper cried as he and Mabel crowded him.
"Yeah, You were all like swish! Swish! Stab!" Mabel agreed.
"Soos, you… you know this person?" Melody asked, not quite believing what she had just seen. For some reason, she didn't think being able to cut through steel with a sword was normal. And for how smooth it went through, the blade would have had to be made of something ridiculous, like diamond.
"Oh yeah!" Soos exclaimed. Melody, this is Techno. He's kinda the coolest dude I know. Techno, meet Melody. She's my date for tonight… oh yeah." Soos said before he remembered where he was exactly.
"If you'll excuse me, I gotta go." Techno said, crouching down and fireman lifting .GIFfany's stolen aniatronic beaver body.
"Okay, by dude!" Soos said.
"See ya later Techno." Dipper waved and Mabel joined him. Techno waved back as he left.
Dipper looked away from Techno and noticed the awkward looks Soos and Melody were shooting each other. "Me and Mabel are gonna go raid the prize counter." Dipper said, dragging Mabel with him.
"I…uh…let's go sit down and talk." Soos offered.
.
.
When Techno knocked out .GIFfany, she was driven from every system and pulled entirely into the cheerleader beaver. This meant in the back, Will E. Badger fell to the ground, defeated. "You did it! You old beautiful monster. You did it!" Stan cheered, hugging Old Goldie. "How's about you and me hit the town? These old, 'has beens' are going to Vegas!"
.
.
Inside, Soos and Melody were sitting next to each other on the skee ball game, looking over the burning remains of Hoo Ha Owl's.
Soos sighed. "I'm sorry for all this. I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid."
"Believe it or not but I've been on worse dates." Melody said.
"Really?" Soos was shocked.
"Never date a magician." Melody stated, refusing to elaborate further.
"Ew, why would I?" Soos asked. Melody slapped him playfully and they both giggled. "Oh, hey, you wouldn't maybe be interested in going to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers."
"Yeah. I'll still be in town then." Melody said.
""Still be in town?"" Soos parroted.
"I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks. But we can video chat, if that's okay with you?" Melody offered quickly.
"A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer...sounds perfect!" Soos declared. Melody laughed and gave him a playful shove.
.
.
The Pines twins were watching the conversation unfold from the prize counter.
"Spirit of love, we did it!" Mabel cheered, pumping her fists.
One of the giant teddy bears behind the prize counter moved behind the twins before popping off its head. "Yes. Yes. I am so happy." Abuelita agreed, resting the teddy's head on the prize counter.
The twins gave skeptical looks to Abuelita. Dipper decided to ask what they were both thinking. "Have you been following us all day?"
"Soos's life is my soap opera." Abuelita said, smiling at the couple.
.
.
Excerpt from Viva, Las Vegas! Tabloid July 2012
Breaking: Old man and Golden Statue wanted for vandalism, Cheating, and defrauding the entirety of the Vegas Strip. A p- eaceful weekend was ruined this weekend when Stanling Per- simmon and his seeing eye statue visited for some wholesome gambling. The pair has stolen at least 6.18 million dollars in gold and jewels. The police are offering a bounty of Continued on page 3
.
.
.GIFfany trembled. The man who had defeated her so handedly and had kidnapped her was now standing over with three others. Her body could barely twitch, but her limbs were still tied down. The only thing she still had control over were her eyes, which she was using to look around frantically.
"Are you sure this will work?" One of the figures asked.
"I believe so, removing this part of her code should remove her serial-killer tendencies." A taller shape answered.
"I hope she'll be all right, I'd love to be friends!" a semi-transparent being commented.
"Why were you so insistent on helping her, old man?" the man who kidnapped her asked the first speaker.
"It was necessary."
"Yeah right. You just wanted to adopt more kids, didn't ya?"
"That isn't the reason."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"You are a punk." The first voice said, shaking his head.
"Well gentlemen, here we go." The taller figure said, hitting enter on his makeshift coding interface.
.GIFfany felt the new code running through her veins, rapidly approaching her head. When it reached her head, she saw pure white. The light faded into darkness, and .GIFfany fell asleep.
.
.
Completed 9/10/2023, Words: 9,854. Written using a pirated copy of Microsoft Word 2007.
Man, it sure has been a while, what, four weeks?
Now, you may be asking, "why did it take so long?" the answer is complicated. First; I am now a college student. That has eaten up a lot of my free time. Another thing; my external hard drive crashed and I still haven't recovered it. Third, work has been busy again.
Sorry this took so long, ENG 101 has been a massive pain. If you can, feel free to join the discord and help create ideas. See ya around whenever the next chapter comes out.
