"I think we all know Klaus is the real problem here." Damon started. Bonnie pursed her lips and looked down, while Caroline nodded in a rare show of agreement. "The sooner Klaus moves on, the sooner my brother can get back to terrorizing Bambi and Thumper."
Damon flipped the coin as easily as a quarter, despite its size. "And the only thing that Klaus likes better than a good drinking buddy is having his little puppy gang to play fetch with. But short of sending the whole pack to doggy obedience school, Elena is his only option for making sired sycophants." Elena rolled her eyes at his monologue, fighting back a smirk.
"Are you going to try or not?" Caroline snapped. Damon winked at her just for the satisfaction of seeing her annoyed scoff before finally turning back to the therapy box.
—
I wish Klaus didn't need Elena to make hybrids
The ten wolves looked like twice their number as they milled about frantically, facing yet another dead end. This time, it was a pile of laundry, all skinny jeans and long-sleeved shirts.
"This does not look like a doppelganger! Honestly, what do I need to do to get some decent help around–" a buzzing sound interrupted Klaus. "Ah, good news, I hope?" he said into the phone. After a moment, he raised his brows, then turned towards Stefan with a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. "Really? Well, that is interesting..."
The scene blurred around them, shifting to a sterile lab.
Klaus looked on intently as a tall blond man in a lab coat injected one of the hybrids – Sarah, he thought her name was – with a red fluid, working around the large straps holding her to the chair to contain the increasingly-rabid hybrid. She let out a howl as the injection went through her system, then suddenly collapsed, her breaths slowing and becoming less audible. The man in the lab coat felt her pulse dispassionately, commenting, "she seems to be responding well. That sample of blood you gave me had such interesting properties – which I believe I have replicated."
Klaus smiled slowly. "Another."
The scene blurred out to a college quad – Whitmore College. Damon shuddered, almost missing the scene playing out as he stared at the medical department in the distance. A grey-white wolf bounded across the grass, snarling and nipping at the heels of a terrified freshman. All around was chaos, bodies strewn across the ground like forgotten toys, and dozens of wolves surged across the grass. Klaus and Stefan stood side by side, observing the slaughter with proud smiles.
"Now this is more like it."
x.x.x
"When I said I was going to chase some tail in college, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind" Damon smirked, shoving down the loathing and fear only the Augustines could inspire. Elena threw him a look.
"Maybe synthetic blood is the right direction?" Bonnie suggested before Elena and Damon got into a verbal sparring match.
x.x.x
I wish there was synthetic blood that helped with control – Stefan would be the poster child for it
Stefan was dramatically lit against a dark backdrop, rendered in black and white, his hero-hair no less striking in grayscale. He sipped from a crystal tumbler, the satisfaction clear on his face, the red sparkling liquid the only color on the large poster ad. Silver lettering in a bold, timeless font proclaimed:
"SanguinEssence – an exquisite journey into the essence of life itself."
Below, smaller font read, "brought to you by VitaSange Industries."
Damon turned around, one eyebrow raised, and saw an ad playing on a nearby screen.
Stefan spoke solemnly into the camera. "My life used to revolve around an uncontrollable urge. If I wasn't overindulging, I was miserably abstaining. But now, VitaSange has changed all that."
Cut to a scene of Stefan going for a jog, taking a sip from a water bottle. A voiceover says:
"Each bottle is a symphony of essential vitamins and minerals, carefully crafted to fuel your day. With each sip, you're giving your body the goodness it craves, helping you feel your best from the inside out."
Stefan looks at the camera, flashing a charming smile. "VitaSange is not just about curbing cravings: it's about learning to thrive."
Damon burst out laughing in disbelief, but cut off abruptly when a familiar, horrible face replaced his brother's. The chyron read, "Local professor: Dr. Wes Maxfield of VitaSange fame" and showed a tall blond man standing in front of his least favorite building on his least favorite college campus.
Damon didn't get a chance to hear what this "Dr. Maxfield" had to say before the scene cut again, this time to the interior of a chillingly familiar lab.
"How many more subjects today?" asked Dr. Maxfield disinterestedly, focused on his work. An eager grad student looked down at his clipboard.
"Since the public service reminder encouraging our, um…volunteers went out, we've seen twice as many bloodsuckers."
Maxfield raised an eyebrow. "Bloodsuckers is such a crude term. 'Subjects', please. But I'm glad to hear they remember that they live only to serve."
x.x.x
"That's twice we've seen Professor Hotness in a creepy lab. Who the hell is this guy running around in your wishes, Damon? Got something to share with the class?" Caroline demanded.
Damon crooked an eyebrow, pasting a smile on to cover his nerves. "Professor Hotness, huh? What can I say, Blondie – I fulfill fantasies even when I'm not trying."
Caroline huffed and was about to interrogate him further when Damon jumped to his next attempt.
x.x.x
I wish a meteor fell out of the sky and squashed Klaus into Original roadkill
The sky was burning and ash floated on the wind. In the center of an enormous crater, a rock the size of a Camaro smoldered. The surface was a fascinating combination of smooth expanses broken up by pits and jagged edges. The only sound was the crackling of fire on the trees at the rim of the crater, still burning.
The rock wiggled.
The rock went flying up and out of the crater, knocking over skeletal trees like an oversize bowling ball, and in the center stood a misshapen figure, covered in bloody soot and spitting with rage.
"You dare destroy my home? Your lives, what few of them remain, will become an unending sequence of agonizing torture."
Klaus flashed around the crater with vampire speed, little flakes of flambéed flesh drifting in his wake.
"You cannot hide from me!" he roared, unable to find those responsible for this latest attempt on his life. But he knew, oh, he knew, that some witchy nonsense was to blame. Klaus turned around seeking his prey, as skeletal and bumpy as the trees that surrounded him.
x.x.x
"Damon! Really? I told you we couldn't wish Klaus dead!" Bonnie scolded.
"Hey! This is a therapy box, isn't it? I just needed a little stress relief. I think his eye was twitching – worse than Stefan when he runs out of hair gel." Damon said with a smirk. "But now I'm kinda hungry for some Original-recipe barbecue."
Elena shook her head, her lips pursed to fight back a smile. "Stop wasting time."
x.x.x
I wish we had a weapon that could kill Klaus
"Damon, now!" Elena shouted desperately as she saw Bonnie activate her final holding spell on Klaus. Damon blurred out of the darkness, his features barely recognizable from all the damage he had taken.
Time seemed to stand still as the ornate, ash-colored stake plunged into Klaus's chest. He let out an anguished cry and fell to his knees, grey veins creeping up his neck. On the opposite side of the room, Stefan stood exhausted but protective in front of Elena and an unconscious Caroline. Silence fell in the wake of Klaus's last sound.
"We actually did it." Bonnie whispered. Across from her, Damon's face looked ashen. Wait, more than just ashen –
"Gaaaaah!" he cried out, falling to the ground. Bonnie yelped and rushed forward, screams from Stefan also echoing around the room.
"Stefan!" Elena gasped, drawing closer as he writhed in pain and black veins stole across his face. She held her hands out helplessly, her eyes flashing up towards Bonnie but catching first on Damon's body. "No!"
"CAROLINE!" Bonnie screamed out her anguish, causing Elena to whirl around and see Caroline no longer just unconscious, but lifeless.
x.x.x
Elena and Bonnie's screams mingled together as they jolted back to awareness in the cavern, cutting off when they saw their friends still alive and well. Bonnie turned and flung her arms around Caroline. Elena's face was shockingly pale as she shakily joined in the group hug with her two best friends.
"Bonnie, what happened?" Elena asked, her voice cracking. Bonnie grimaced. "I don't know. Maybe...maybe it's because he's an Original? It only affected you guys." she said, nodding to Caroline and Damon.
Damon was uncharacteristically silent for a moment longer before he pasted on his signature smirk.
"I gotta say, I didn't picture us dropping like Starks at the Red Wedding." Damon waggled an eyebrow as he said Red Wedding. He was relieved when Elena cocked her head and raised an eyebrow at his flippant remark.
"Ugh, Damon, this isn't a joke. Give me that." Caroline snatched the coin from him.
—
A/N: Sorry for the long delay, and thank you for tuning in for chapter 2! I am still planning on wrapping things up in chapter 3, but I miiiight also do an epilogue :) Thank you again to CosmicAdventurer for being such a great sounding board!
