Steve heard the door slide shut with a whoosh as he stepped out of Gianna's room in the medical wing.
"I guess you didn't feel the need to tell her the whole story?" Tony's voice called out from where he was leaning against the wall.
Steve scowled. "I didn't think it was necessary."
"Well, you said Barnes tracked them down and hand-delivered them to the FBI. You didn't say he beat each and every person involved within an inch of their life."
"Like I said, I didn't think it was necessary."
Tony shrugged. "Hey, I'm not the morality police. I just thought she'd want to know chivalry isn't dead."
Giving a half chuckle, Steve ran his hand along his jawline. "Any idea where he went?"
"Aren't you the guy's best friend?" Tony joked. "FRIDAY, what's the 411 on RoboCop?"
"Sergeant Barnes is in the training wing, in Sparring Room 3."
Steve nodded and made a beeline for the elevators.
The sound of fists hitting the punching bag was the first thing Steve heard when the elevator doors opened. As he stepped through the threshold of the training room, he turned to the corner where the bag hung from the ceiling.
Bucky stood in a defensive posture with his back to Steve, his bare knuckles colliding with the rough material of the punching bag at a speed only possible for a super soldier. Even from the doorway, Steve could see the bloody prints left on the tan material from Bucky's raw fists.
"Bucky…" Steve called.
He neither reacted nor slowed down.
"Hey, Buck, give it a rest."
Walking towards him, Steve reached out his hand and rested it on Bucky's shoulder. Shrugging it off, Bucky swung harder, sweat dripping from his dark hair.
"Hey! Bucky!" In a swift move, Steve slipped in between the super soldier and the training back, ducking a blow from his left and catching Bucky's flesh right fist in his palm.
Their eyes met, and it was like Bucky came back to reality. He was panting, chest heaving from all the effort. Steve released his fist and felt the warmth of blood in his palm, and he grimaced, knowing it wasn't his.
Bucky took a step back and sat on the bench to their right, dropping his head into his hands.
"She's awake."
"I know."
"How? Dr. Cho just sent word -"
"I was there. When she started to stir. I…I wasn't ready." He took a labored breath. "I couldn't look at her, look in her eyes, and explain to her that I didn't - I couldn't protect her."
Steve watched him with sad eyes, knowing the feeling of guilt all too well.
Bucky continued. "I heard her start to wake up and I bolted. Let the doc know and came straight here. I don't know, I just needed to clear my head."
"You know you're supposed to wear gloves."
Giving a half-hearted smile, Bucky looked up and examined the raw knuckles on his right hand. "Yeah. Guess there's a reason for that."
"If only they were both metal, right?" Sam joked, walking through the door. "Hope you didn't pay full price for this half-assed job."
Both super soldiers rolled their eyes and Bucky chuckled despite himself. Sam dropped down on the bench next to him.
"Listen man, I won't lie to you. This feeling isn't gonna go away anytime soon. You're gonna feel like shit, and you're gonna feel responsible. I know you. We've all got this thing in common, we're soldiers, protectors. When we don't win, or we can't make the save that one time…it feels bigger than every other time when you did your job." Sam leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees so he and Bucky were on the same level. "I used to work with vets, this guilt you feel, it's common. Nobody comes home and feels the warm fuzzies about all the people they saved. All you remember is the look on someone's face the one time you didn't get there in time."
There was silence as all three men processed the gravity of his words, each of them able to recall a missed save on their own watch. Steve felt a pang in his chest as he got a decades old flashback of Bucky falling to his 'death' out of a train car, and the years' he spent haunted by guilt afterwards.
"The thing is, you gotta know you did all you could. We're all human, I mean, some of us more than others." Sam elbowed Bucky in the ribs. "We can only do the best we can with the information we have. You were set up, you were specifically targeted, and I think you're overlooking the part where you got blasted to oblivion and hopped right back up like it was nothin' - that's hero shit, man."
Sam put a hand on Bucky's shoulder reassuringly. Glancing at Steve, he nodded and left the room.
"She was asking for you."
Bucky looked up at him, eyes hopeful and fearful all at once.
"She doesn't blame you, Buck. No one does. But she's in a strange place, alone, confused…she needs you. You didn't let her down, but if you aren't there for her now…you will."
Bucky paused, then drew his eyes up to meet Steve's.
"Thank you. For checking on her."
Steve nodded reassuringly and turned toward the door.
"Steve, wait," Bucky called after him. As Steve turned, Bucky grinned. "Sorry I almost got you blown up."
"Hey, what kind of wingman would I be if I wasn't willing to risk an explosion to help my best friend get his girl?" Steve winked and stepped into the elevator.
author's note: hiiiii, i'm so excited this got some love and traction! it's been on tumblr and wattpad, but i just decided to upload here too because i honestly read this more than wattpad. if you're liking it so far, PLEASE leave me a review or tell me your thoughts! i'd love to chat with any readers at all because - omg someone is reading my work! thank you so much! xo
