Summary: Gwen was a mess when a friend appeared during her confessional. How will she deal with her feelings?
Ship: Gwen x Courtney
Gwen had a recurring nightmare since Newfoundland: Courtney and she met Duncan again, he got back into the game, and she returned to being the bitch she was when they were dating.
The issue wasn't precisely Duncan but the fact that, excluding Courtney and Cody, Gwen had no friends or allies: Bridgette, Leshawna, DJ, and (oh my god) Lindsay had been kicked out in the last weeks; Owen didn't count because he was friends with everyone and easily manipulated.
The newcomers were still unknown to her, as Alejandro was friendly but sensed something rotten in him, and Sierra was... well, Sierra.
With no friends or allies, she was an easy target for Heather in their first post-merger test, perhaps even a team challenge they lost.
The nightmare became real when they won the London challenge by kidnapping Duncan. The euphoria of seeing him again turned to anxiety as she realized what that entailed.
Remember what Leshawna taught you, take a deep breath, take a deep breath...she told herself as she went to the confessional to have a place alone. She could have chosen the cargo area, but it was too far, and she wanted to avoid meeting Duncan in economy class.
She was never very religious. Her family was agnostic, although she knew more or less how Catholic rites worked. The camera pointed at her face as she sat on the toilet, which was far from the same as a church confession, but it was enough.
"Hi," Gwen stared aimlessly as she smoothed her hands through her hair. It was six in the morning, and she hadn't been able to sleep yet for fear of intrusive thoughts.
"I thought the Jack the Ripper challenge would be my favourite, but now I hate it with all my might. If I could go back in time, I would have jumped in Noah's place." She blurted out, still not knowing what to focus on.
"It's been days...I mean, weeks. Weeks! That I have recurring nightmares about a person. I thought it would pass, but it didn't. And every day, every challenge increased until today." She would love a cigarette now; damn the rules Chris imposes!
She tried to open her mouth to continue, but her mouth trembled with anticipation. She looked out the window and then at the camera. Suddenly, she knocked on the cabin door with fury, shame and guilt.
"I'm a coward! I can't even talk to a fucking camera! What the fuck am I doing here!" Tears appeared in the corners of her eyes, first one, then ten, until they ran down her face.
The violence was so great that the door soon gave way, with the hinge breaking. The sound was loud enough for someone to hear, but Gwen didn't care anymore.
"I don't know how everybody else can sleep. Especially Courtney." She continued, wiping her tears and smudged makeup on toilet paper.
"I'm still fuzzy, like I drank too much coffee, you know? Because we won, and Duncan's back, and he missed...us." Her voice cracked as she uttered the last word.
What the hell are you doing?
Gwen quickly turned around, seeing an annoyed Courtney at the noise. In her hand was a bucket of guano that they used to treat the goth's sunburn.
"You're lucky that I was the one who heard that bang, not the queen bitch." The CIT spoke, more joking than angry.
"S-Sorry! Anyway, I've already finished here. If you want, you can use it." Gwen tried to escape as quickly as possible but was stopped by her friend, who took her burned hand.
"Look at your hand! You need to pay attention to the treatment. If we don't cure it soon, there is a risk of infection or blisters." Courtney said as she took some bird poop and applied it to her partner's hand. The smell was nauseating, but after a few days of applying it, they got used to it.
Unknown to her, Gwen felt like an animal that had fallen into a bear trap. She could struggle, and she would only waste more energy. The anxiety grew increasingly more.
The two remained silent for a few minutes until Courtney decided to question.
"Care to explain the part of Duncan missing both of us?" They were both fixated on the burned hand, but Gwen knew that Courtney spoke as cold as ice.
"I-I..." Gwen stuttered, trying to come up with something.
"Look at me Gwen. We're friends. Damn, I think you're the only one here I trust besides Duncan. That's why I want you to be honest with me without beating around the bush." Using her other hand, Courtney grabbed Gwen's cheek, making her look into her eyes.
Those brown eyes.
Those fucking brown eyes.
Gwen hated them every moment she saw them because she couldn't stop looking at them as if it were a trance or a spell.
Tears began to flow again on Gwen's face as she placed her lips against the other girl's.
It was a desperate kiss, something Courtney had never experienced. It wasn't the desperation of longing but of anxiety, of fear, as if the other was going to die in her arms.
She let the guano bucket fall to the floor (luckily, it didn't spill anywhere) and ended the kiss, holding Gwen's shoulders with both hands.
"WHAT THE HELL GWEN?" She shrieked, more out of surprise than anything else.
"I LIKE DUNCAN. I'VE LIKED HIM SINCE THE SECOND SEASON." Gwen spoke without realizing she was screaming at the top of her lungs.
The goth continued before the brown girl could reason about what the pale one had said.
"I WAS RELIEVED THAT HE HAD QUIT IN EGYPT, SERIOUSLY! Knowing that you were together, I wouldn't have to bear being around him anymore. And then we became friends." Gwen gave a weak smile, coughing before continuing.
"I...really like being your friend. But then I started to feel strange things when I looked at you. I was frustrated when we showered. I was distracted looking into your eyes. I fell asleep thinking about kissing you!" Gwen's mouth spewed information without any prior processing. Courtney was silent, paralyzed.
"I started having sleepless nights to not think about you. Since Newfoundland, I've had nightmares where Duncan returned, and you abandoned me for him. In others, I was the one who Duncan chose. Today, my nightmare became a reality." The goth stared at her; her eyes didn't blink. The world seemed frozen in time.
"I had promised myself that if we won this challenge I would tell you how I felt. We won, but he came back. I still like Duncan and now I like you. I'm scared and I don't know what to do!" Gwen's entire body was shaking. By now, her face was red and swollen from crying.
Gwen was panting after venting out everything she felt. She closed her eyes, waiting for the hurricane of wrath that Courtney would unleash on her.
And despite everything, nothing happened. Not a punch, not a curse.
The loner teen slowly opened eyes and saw Courtney looking at her enigmatically.
"...It's true? Is everything you say true?" The bossy girl asked as she glared at her. Gwen weakly nodded, not brave enough to look her in the eyes.
Well then...
A hug.
Gwen didn't feel a punch but rather a hug. But the pain she felt was the same.
"I'm sorry for making you feel this way. I was unwise to go to Whitechapel. You shouldn't feel guilty about liking someone." Courtney spoke softly, acting very different than she usually did.
"I still like you, Gwen, as a friend. I've never been attracted to girls, and I can't say I like you romantically. But I want to continue our friendship, with or without Duncan." She squeezed Gwen even tighter, feeling tears form, too.
I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you.
Those words were enough to make Gwen sob and cry even louder. She could feel her friend's hand stroking her hair. "I DON'T DESERVE YOU", Gwen was a hoarse mess already.
"Yes, you deserve. Let it out, let it out..." For a moment, Courtney remembered the days when she would come home from school crying, and her mother would pick her up and hug her. From the songs she heard her mother sing to her until she fell asleep crying.
She tried to remember some of the music, but only bits and pieces came to her mind. But that was already enough to calm Gwen.
"Alright, who died? We're only going to arrive at our next destination tomorrow. Stop disrupting everyone's trip!" Chris woke up after hearing a commotion coming near first class. If these kids think they can ruin his beauty sleep, they can't wait to get screwed.
He turned his head and found Gwen sleeping with her head in Courtney's lap in front of a destroyed confessional. They were both dishevelled, and their makeup was smeared. The goth's hand was in the bucket of guano.
The host blinked a few times, thinking he was in a dream. For some reason, he felt it was good to touch the guano and give it a lick.
When Gwen and Courtney woke up, they were both in the infirmary (who would have thought this flying trash would have an infirmary!?). The goth was still groggy, trying to remember what happened earlier.
Hey, Court...
Hmmm
Where are we?
Go back to sleep. You've had a long night.
When turning to the other side, the perfectionist girl sees an intubated Chris McLean, breathing with the help of machines. Beside her, Chef was adjusting the device, dressed as a nurse.
"What happened with him?" She asked the black man.
"Guano," he replied tersely, "Just...guano."
Courtney always thought Gwen might be a boyfriend stealer. But after that confessional, she vowed to make her friend happy no matter what.
Even if it means eliminating Duncan again.
#GwenBiDisaster
We're done with the romantic triangle. Now, let's see the other ships!
Next chapter: Despite having the upper hand, Heather is not satisfied with not being able to break Alejandro's esteem even once. Maybe someone can help her...
