Hey yo, author here! Gonna try and commit to updating this every Sunday, with the new schedule I'm on. Been a long time coming but finally getting to the idea that made want to start this in the first place. Once again, longest chapter yet so hope ya'll enjoy! Thanks for all reviews/favs/follows, means the world!
As always, much love - Seadavid41
I don't own Teen Titans, if I did, Raven would have actually used the name Garfield at least once.
Ch. 16 Hope
Smoke. Raven could detect the trademark scent of fire before she had even opened her eyes. When her eyelids did flutter open, she couldn't help but be confused by what she saw. The last thing she remembered, she had been fighting Johnny Rancid in Jump City and yet, the sky she was looking didn't feature the Jump City skyline. In fact, it didn't feature any buildings at all. From what she could see, the only towering landmarks around her, were trees, and plenty of them. These weren't normal trees either, like those in Jump City Park. These behemoths towered over her, and although she aware that it was mid-December, she didn't remember Jumpy City having this much snow.
Raven slowly pushed herself up, so that she was sat on the ground, with her hands supporting her weight behind her. She glanced around her new environment. She was in a forest clearing that had clearly been made into a makeshift campsite. A few logs had been pushed together around a campfire that was burning brightly in the centre of them. A small shelter had been made out of branches and mud that may have served as protection from the harsher elements. To the left of the logs, a deer carcass hung upside down from a branch suspended by two handmade spikes in the ground. For the first time, Raven realized that despite being sat on a snowy floor, with no protection for her bare legs, she couldn't feel the cold…in fact, she couldn't feel anything.
Raven rose to her feet, a small part of her being thankful for the lack of feeling, as she was acutely aware of the knife wound she had received from Johnny Rancid. She cautiously approached the campsite, looking out for anything that would give her a clue as to where she was. The fire was burning with intensity and Raven noticed the fresh logs in the centre. Someone had been tending to this recently. She was partially tempted to just sit and wait for whoever had been here to return, but decided to scope the entirety of her surroundings first.
Raven made her way over to the humble lodgings at the back of the campsite. Despite its outer appearance, the limited indoor space was in good condition. Something that could serve as a bed sat in the centre, and the other space was used for what Raven assumed where someone's personal possessions. Raven had just begun to browse the contents when she froze. In a neat bundle, right at the foot of makeshift bed, the tattered remains of a uniform she recognized lay in a pile, and atop it, a purple communicator, similar in size to the one the Titans used, but the unmistakable "DP" on the front had already told her everything she needed too know. Raven was in Beast Boy's camp…wherever it was.
Then, without warning, it all came flooding back. Raven remembered the feeling of when she realized Beast Boy was in trouble…she remembered watching him defy Deathstroke and think of all the things he could have done…she remembered Deathstroke blasting him…
Raven sprinted back to the centre of the campsite. How was she here? It had been dark when she had watched the scene unfold before her, but now the sun was high in the sky. She knew she wasn't dreaming. Years of experience dealing with dreams and visions had allowed her to be able to distinguish between the two. No, she was here for a reason. With a surge of adrenaline, Raven began calling out. Maybe Beast Boy had used their connection and was signaling her for help, or even just letting her know he was okay.
"Beast Boy!?…Gar!?"
"I'm afraid you won't be getting an answer from him anytime soon."
Raven recognized the voice instantly. It's distinct smoothness, like every word spoken had been barrel-aged for many years to produce the most mellow, yet sinister of tones. She knew the owner of the voice and that was all the information she needed, as she wheeled around, her hands in the air to summon her powers, only to be left confused when nothing happened.
Deathstroke sat on one of the logs that had been empty before, his sly grin there for the world to see through his cracked mask. Raven recognised Deathstroke's appearance as how he looked after his fight with the Beast and realized, that she'd been brought here by Deathstroke, much like how he had come to her when he was working for her father the first time.
"Oh your powers won't work at the moment…after all, you're not really here. I simply thought I would extend the courtesy of receiving a message this time directly from the source rather than through a medium."
Raven dropped her arms in frustration, before turning away. "Well, if I'm not really here, then I have no obligation to listen to your message, so why don't you just-"
Raven gasped as she felt a searing pain in her left wrist, with a glance down confirming that Deathstroke had closed the distance between the two of them faster than she thought possible, one hand now gripping her forearm, his fingers ablaze as his grip tightened.
"Oh no Raven…that's not how this works…and I believe you should come and have a seat by the fire…I think you'd be intrigued to hear what I have to say."
Raven stared up at Deathstroke in defiance, before relenting and moving towards the logs, taking a seat on a log opposite him when he finally released her from his grip. Sitting opposite him for a few seconds in silence, it slowly dawned on her who she was about to converse with. A man who had tormented her little family on Earth for years…who had sided against the entire planet to save his own life…who was potentially the murderer of Garfield Logan. She was brought out of her thoughts by Deathstroke's quiet musings.
"Alaska…this whole time, Beast Boy wasn't even that far away…you can't have searched that hard for him, now could you?"
Raven could feel tears starting to well up, which she desperately tried to keep from making an appearance. She wasn't sure if it was from the pain in her wrist, or from remembering Beast Boy. It was probably a combination of the two. Unfortunately, Deathstroke had a keen eye.
"Why so sad dear Raven? You stopped one of my lackeys today, albeit one I was not particularly invested in…a little too simple-minded for my taste, but a taste for destruction that seemed appropriate…is this about my plans?...or about how I recently put down the Titans little house pet?"
Raven jolted from her seat, as if she was going to close the gap between the two of them, just to have a swing at his smug face, but Deathstroke simply let out a small burst of fire, eliciting a yelp of pain from the empath and knocking her back into her seat. "Ah ah ah…I'd like to keep this conversation civil if you wouldn't mind."
Raven seethed at the man before her. "And I'd like to see you dead, but we can't all get what we want, can we?"
Deathstroke looked at her with mock disappointment, "Now Raven, Titans don't kill, remember? What would your teammates think if they heard you talking like that?"
"You killed one of our own, I don't think there would be the same hesitation there was before."
"Oh but Raven…he was so much more than that to you wasn't he?"
Raven froze, not reaching Deathstroke's gaze for a split second…and that was all Deathstroke needed.
"Amazing to think…affection…it comes in such mysterious ways…between humans all over the world…between heroes and civilians…and now…between a demon and a beast…or sorry…I suppose that is more a what could have been scenario now…"
Raven couldn't help it this time, as she felt a tear fall down her cheek. "Why? If you were always after me…why target him in the first place? Why go about it the way that you did? You must have had a reason."
Deathstroke sat back and looked up at the tree line. "It's funny Raven…I had intentions to study him…find out more about his little beast and disease. I saw potential in it for future plans of mine…but simply extracting him…why keep it that simple. For the plans I had, I needed the Titans weak…shattered…and what better way to do that than by having you annihilate one of your own…so did I have a reason? Yes…but the way I executed it…was to break you…and just maybe…cause it was more fun for me this way…hmmm…yes, is it quite funny."
Deathstroke did it because he could. The mere concept of that reverberated around Raven's head like a scream echoing around a cave. Deathstroke looked to her for a response or sign of distress and was slightly surprised to see her appearance turn stoic. Raven looked up from the spot she had focused on in front of her, straight into Deathstroke's eye.
"Know this then, Deathstroke…when you come for me…I'll have relayed our little conversation to the Titans…and the honorary Titans…and we will show no mercy…you are not my father and I am not afraid of you."
Deathstroke didn't like Raven's new tone. He was here to inspire fear and enjoy the pain he had caused and this new direction wasn't giving him the same enjoyment. Deathstroke rose to his feet and gripped her arm again. This time, instead of the searing pain in her wrist, Raven could only watch as symbols started to appear up her arm…the Mark of Skath.
"If you don't fear me…you should. I have a message to deliver. In two days, I will arrive in Jump City. Bring in as many titans as you can find…I will orchestrate the massacre of every single one. I will take you to where you became the portal before and your death will bring me the power that I so rightfully deserve."
Raven didn't break her stare at Deathstroke. This wasn't like the first time. Trigon had been all-powerful, an entity beyond comprehension that was supposed to use her to signal the end of the world…and she had sent him back to outer perdition where he belonged. Deathstroke was not Trigon. Deathstroke was familiar. Deathstroke was mortal. Deathstroke was beatable. "You'll never get the chance."
Deathstroke let out a deep, genuine laugh. "How ironic…that's what Garfield Logan said when I told him the same thing…and you know how well that worked for him."
Before Raven could retort, she became aware of the environment around her beginning to fade. Deathstroke grabbed both her wrists and pulled her close. "See you in a few days Raven."
Deathstroke then launched her backwards and Raven felt like she was moving at a hundred miles an hour, as the trees around her became a blur and after a moment, everything went black once again.
Raven shot up bolt-right in her bed in Titans Med Bay with a scream, scaring the life out of Starfire, who had been sat at her bedside, with her hand on the empaths. Once the poor Tamaranean collected herself, she was quick to grab Raven by the shoulders, in an attempt to still the shocked empath.
"Raven, it is me, your friend, Starfire! You're safe! You're in the Tower!"
Raven, who had been looking wildly left and right, locked eyes with Starfire and immediately the fight flew out of her. She fell back onto the bed with a thump, a bed which had been pulled upwards so she was sitting upright. With the realization that she was back in Jump City, she also became aware of how tired she was and how much her outburst had taken out of her. She turned her head towards Starfire. "…how long was I out?"
Starfire looked at Raven, relief evident in her eyes that her friend had come to her senses. "You've been unconscious for over a day…when we brought you back to the Tower, Cyborg could not figure out what was wrong with you. You had no physical wounds…but your body was reacting as if it was in shock or had some kind of fatal injury…we…we didn't know what to do…"
Raven could see the tears welling up in Starfire's eyes and gave Starfire's hand a squeeze. "Hey, I'm here, aren't I? There's no reason too-"
Starfire looked at Raven, eyes still watering, "the others did not want me to tell you this so soon but…Raven…for a few seconds…we lost you…we were so scared…I…I…"
Starfire couldn't even finish her sentence, instead choosing to launch herself at the empath, engulfing the shorter woman in a hug. While Starfire's hugs were usually bone-crushing, this one was gentle and loving, like she was still trying to be careful and that Raven might break. Raven took the news in her stride, and without question, returned Starfire's embrace.
"Starfire…what did you say before…we are here in the now? Well look at us, hugging in the middle of Titans Tower."
Starfire stifled a laugh and wiped her eyes. "I suppose you are right…but please Raven…do not do that again…"
Raven smiled. "I'll do my best."
Raven tried to sit up again, but gasped as she felt a sharp pain in her wrist. Looking down, she saw the outline of burn on her forearm and Raven immediately felt her blood run cold. Her vision with Deathstroke…his plans…Beast Boy…
"Raven?...What is wrong?"
Raven was startled out of her thoughts by Starfire's question, only realizing that she had started crying when she brought a hand to her cheek and found it to be wet. She looked to Starfire and her mouth opened, but no words came out. How was she supposed to tell her, or any of the Titans for that matter? Raven was temporarily saved from Starfire's question when the Med Bay door slid open, signaling the arrival of Cyborg and Nightwing. Both Titans looked exhausted, but the relief on their faces was clear as day. Cyborg raised his wrist into the air, pointing at panel on his inner forearm.
"Been monitoring your vitals since we brought you back and got the ping immediately when you woke up. Good to you see awake Raven."
Raven gave Cyborg a half-smile, but her mind was a million miles away…something that Nightwing seemed to notice. He approached the bed and sat at the foot of it, a look of sympathy on his face.
"Raven…you have no idea how relieved we all are to see you awake…there were times were we weren't su-"
"Starfire told me, you don't have to beat around the bush."
Cyborg and Nightwing each exchanged a quick look before both turning to Starfire, who turned her nose up at them. "She had a right to know…and things are going to be quite busy in the future, so this was as good a time as any to share that information."
Raven looked at Starfire, puzzlement evident on her face at her statement. She turned back to Nightwing who had just finished shaking his head. "I wish we had more time to just let you recover but…time isn't on our side…I don't know if you remember everything from our encounter with Rancid but-".
Raven raised a hand to cut Nightwing off, who stopped talking, an expectant look on his face. Raven, internally, took a deep breath. They had to know…they had a right to know. She did her best to put on a stoic visage, but she had a feeling her façade was going to crack during her tale.
"I remember everything from our encounter with Rancid…and my actions afterwards…Rancid spoke the truth…Deathstroke was fighting Beast Boy as we fought him…Deathstroke won…I saw it clear as day, and even though I tried, at the end…I couldn't feel him…it wasn't like Beast Boy was blocking me out…it was like he was simply…gone."
The news hung in the air, dense and heavy, threatening to suffocate the occupants of the room. Raven hadn't said the word that they had all been waiting for, but she didn't need too. It was the unspoken message that was as clear as day. Raven didn't want the silence linger, because she knew she would break, so she continued. "While I was unconscious, I had a vision of Deathstroke, much like I did the first time he came for me, as Trigon's lackey."
Nightwing stopped staring at his hands in his lap and his head whipped up at that. "You spoke with Deathstroke?"
Raven maintained her calm outer exterior, despite her emotions raging inside of her. "Yes…he was in Alaska...turns out that's where Beast Boy has been…it seemed his primary reason for summoning me was to deliver a message...and to gloat."
Raven was briefly interrupted from her story by the sounding of bending metal. She looked up from her hands to Cyborg, who had just snapped a medicinal tray he was holding in half, spilling it's contents onto the floor.
"Has he not done enough?…has he not TAKEN enough from us!? What possible need could he have for-"
Cyborg stopped as a hand slipped into his. He looked down at Starfire's slender fingers intertwined with his large metal ones. "Please friend…we will have the chance to get justice…but don't let your anger get the best of you now…it's not what Beast Boy would have wanted."
There it was. The first Titan to refer to Beast Boy in the past tense. The simple statement seemed to drain all the fight out of Cyborg, who seemed to sag in his stance. He gave Starfire's hand a squeeze and looked at her with a half-smile before turning back to Raven. "Sorry…got carried away."
Raven looked at the metal titan, a look of understanding on her face. "It's okay…it's also not the only thing Deathstroke told me…like the first time…he delivered a message. In two days from when we spoke, he plans to arrive at the here at the Tower. He promised to annihilate any Titan that stood in his way…and to kill me where I became the portal."
The room feel silent again for a moment, before Nightwing abruptly stood up from his position at the end of the bed, taking in the three other Titans before him. "That's all the information we need. Raven, we had started laying down plans based on Rancid and Phobia's information while you were unconscious. We don't know exactly when your conversation with him took place, so we could have anywhere from twenty-four to forty-eight hours from now. We won't be facing Deathstroke's forces alone this time. We have allies now and we intend to use them."
Raven looked at Nightwing in confusion, seeking clarification, before Cyborg interjected. "When we set up the communicators for the honorary Titans, we installed an emergency protocol: Calling All Titans. If your communicator is off, damaged, underwater, off-planet…it doesn't matter…you're getting this S.O.S. We've already sent out the call. Bumblebee is currently upstairs dealing with Titans who have already arrived and even more are on the way."
Raven nodded at the explanation, relieved to know that her being unconscious hadn't delayed the opportunity for the Titans to gather reinforcements. The last time the Tower faced such an onslaught, she'd thought Trigon was unstoppable…she had no hope left. But Deathstroke…he was human…he was flawed…and the Titans would take him down. Raven swung her legs over the side of the bed, waving off concerns from Cyborg and Starfire.
"I'm fine…we're in this together and I don't have to sit around and do nothing…I'm awake now, so I'm going to start helping now."
Nightwing nodded at the ferocity in Raven's voice. "You're the expert on what to expect from villains that have been imbued with Trigon's powers and a lot of Titans are going to be fighting this kind of foe for the first time…they'll need all the information they can get."
"Then I'll teach them how to approach a fight with such an enemy"
Nightwing glanced over his team…his best friends…his family at this stage. Here they were, on the verge of another battle that could decide the fate of the world…and this time they would be a Titan down. It took a lot for Nightwing to get emotional in a fight but…this was personal and everyone in the room knew it.
"We won't know what's coming…we can't know what's coming…but we look out for each other. We have each other's backs. I'd risk my life for every single one of you knowing that you would do the same. We do this for the world…but more importantly, we do this for each other."
The other Titans nodded in silent affirmation. There was a mutual understanding between them all. No one knew what to expect and more so than any situation before, the danger of losing one of them was higher than ever. The only way to minimize that possibility was too trust each other with their lives, to an extent they never had before.
With that Nightwing made for the door. "Come on so…we have work to do." Cyborg and Starfire made to follow Nightwing, but Raven hesitated on the side of the bed, something Cyborg noticed.
"You still need a minute?"
Raven looked up at Cyborg, wishing that he had just kept walking. "Yea… I think I'm going to need to meditate for a while…I need to…to…"
Raven was distracted by a sagging in the bed beside her as Cyborg had come back to sit beside her on the bed. Silently, he reached over and embraced the shocked empath.
"It's not fair that we have to move so quickly…but it's okay to be sad about Beast Boy…you can let it out Rae…you SHOULD let it out."
Raven did. Cyborg's quiet words caused the floodgates to burst and Raven sank into the metal titans arms, tears rolling silently down her face. After all their searching, all the time they had spent trying to bring him home…trying to fix their mistake…he was gone…just like that. It shouldn't be that simple...no...it COULDN'T be hat simple. Raven wasn't lying, she really did need to meditate and pay a visit to Nevermore, but just for this moment, it could wait. For in this moment, there was a calm simplicity in two friends sharing an embrace, taking the time to just…be sad…to be human.
Starfire flew a feet behind Nightwing, a question on the tip of her tongue that she wasn't quite sure how to phrase. She had been observant enough to notice that Raven was holding her emotions back in the Med Bay and she was secretly glad that Cyborg had stayed behind with the empath. However, she was slightly perturbed by her boyfriends speed in getting on with things. She knew that part of his new mind set was staying strong as the leader, but they had just found out that Beast Boy was…she shuddered. It still hadn't quite hit her, maybe because he had been missing for so long. Starfire was a being of emotion and she knew…when she had a moment to herself to think on it…she blinked back tears. Now wasn't the time for breaking down. But that didn't mean she was going to let Nightwing off the hook.
"Nightw-…Richard…can I ask you something?"
Nightwing stopped in his tracks at the mention of his real name and turned to face Starfire, a worried look on his face. "Of course Star…did I do something to upset you?"
Starfire held up her hands, "Oh no, not all, but…I was just wondering…you seemed to take the news about Beast Boy…relatively well…as in, you don't seem emotional about the situation at all. I guess I am just worrying about you but…how are you so…detached from what has happened? I hope that doesn't offend, I am just not quite sure how to phrase it."
Nightwing held up a hand, waving off her worries, before taking in a deep breath. He moved from the middle of the hallway to lean against the wall, eventually sliding down until he was sat down. Starfire hovered over and sat down beside him. Nightwing opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if he was struggling to find the right words and Starfire responded by giving his arm a squeeze, warranting a look of affection from the leader of the Titans.
"I guess…when it comes to Slade…Deathstroke…whatever you want to call him…I'm always looking for another motive…a ploy…a tactic. When it comes to him, it's never been straightforward. I guess part of me right just doesn't believe that he would really straight up kill Beast Boy…why not use him as a bargaining tool with us for Raven? Why not extract information from him? It just doesn't seem his style…although, I will admit, he certainly seems to have changed with his new powers."
Starfire looked at Nightwing with curiosity and the slightest amount of hopefulness. "Richard…do you believe Beast Boy is still alive?"
Nightwing leaned his head back until it hit the wall behind him with a dull thud. "I don't know…Raven's obviously not lying, but we don't know how her connection works, let alone one that was forged with someone so far away…she said she couldn't feel him…but when he first went missing, Raven couldn't find him then either. I'm not going to question her on it now because –"
"You don't want to give out false hope."
Robin nodded. "I guess in my head, I just don't think it can be this simple…so for the moment, while I haven't seen a body, or any other proof. I am going to stay calm, get our forces in place…and remain quietly hopeful that I'm right."
Starfire looked up at Nightwing, her eyes watering up slightly, before a smile crept onto her face and she buried her head into his shoulder, catching the him by surprise.
"That's the leader we want you to be…and the boyfriend I'm glad I have."
Nightwing smiled down at Starfire, running his hand gently through her hair. "It took me a while, but I think I'm finally getting better at it." The young couple stayed like that for a few minutes, taking a moment for themselves. Raven and Cyborg were going to be a few minutes themselves and Bumblebee was covering for them for the moment up in Main Ops. They could be afforded this time before once again, someone tried to destroy the world. But, like most good things, it had to come to an end, and far too quickly for either of their liking.
Nightwing was the one to reluctantly get to his feet, holding out his hand for the Tamaranean, which she accepted with a smile. "C'mon Star…we've got most likely before Deathstroke arrives…and I could really use a hand."
Starfire blushed at his phrasing before wrapping him in a hug, which Nightwing returned without hesitation. "Thank you Richard…I was worried that you had distanced yourself from the situation…instead it's obvious that you hold onto hope…and I will do that same."
Nightwing smiled, before placing a gentle kiss on Starfire's lips, cupping her cheek as he did so.
"Hey…tomorrow's gonna be a new day…anything is possible…right?
Raven sat on her bed, twirling her mirror in her hands, staring straight at the wall ahead of her, an activity she had been engaging in for over half an hour at this stage. After her moment with Cyborg, she had left the metal Titan, who was bound for main ops so that she could go meditate. She knew that her teammates would give her as much time as they feasibly could, and she knew that time was a precious commodity based on her vision of Deathstroke…so why couldn't she bring herself to enter Nevermore?
Raven let out a huff of frustration, slamming the mirror down onto her bed. This shouldn't be this hard. She needed to control her emotions, especially if there was a battle with Deathstroke on the horizon. The Titans would need her at her best and she wouldn't give them anything less. She could feel her emotions in turmoil and to fix that, she needed to visit Nevermore…and yet she couldn't bring herself too. She knew why her emotions were in disarray and she'd just finished confronting that reason with Cyborg…she was in no rush to do it again, even if it was only with different aspects of herself.
Raven sighed and picked up her mirror again, for once just staring into it without entering her mindscape. This visit wasn't entirely about controlling her emotions and Raven knew it. There was one other thing she wanted to check…and she was entirely able to admit she was petrified of what she'd find out. Raven closed her eyes tight, her knuckles going white with how tightly they gripped the mirror, before a large black hand reached out, pulling the empath into Nevermore, the mirror falling to the bed with a gentle thud.
Raven allowed herself to freefall for a few seconds before gradually slowing her speed, coming to complete stop in mid-air, as she wanted to assess the condition of her mindscape. Interestingly, it didn't seem to be in as bad a condition as her last visit. She scanned the horizon, making out the outline of Timid's maze, which appeared to be it's normal size. Raven, genuinely puzzled by the apparent calm, had allowed herself to begin floating to the ground, when she spotted two familiar emoticlones beneath her. They were both staring up at her and upon seeing that she had noticed them, one of them gave a gentle wave.
Raven glided down, landing just in front of Bravery and Affection, the two of them seemingly finishing up their conversation upon Raven's arrival. Usually when Raven confronted an emoticlone, they were quick to point out her reason for coming or strike up a conversation, as they already knew why she had visited. After all, they were all simply a part of who she was. But, as Raven stood before the two emoticlones before her, it seemed that the pair of them were a little lost for words.
Raven raised an eyebrow, "What? No speech about having a pity party? No big greetings?"
Affection gave her a sympathetic smile. "Sorry…we are a bit out of sorts at the moment…we're not quite sure how to act."
Raven's eyebrow raised even higher. "Not sure how to act? I don't understand. How can you be-".
Bravery cut across Raven, a frustrated look on her face, "Because you haven't chosen how to approach what happened with Beast Boy yet!"
Raven took a step back at Bravery's apparent frustration. "Haven't chosen? What is there to choose?"
"Gah!"
Bravery threw her arms into the air and started walking away, leaving a genuinely perplexed Raven with Affection, who took a gentle hold of her hand. "We should follow her…it's to do with the aspect of you that you're afraid to see right now."
Raven allowed herself to bed led by Affection, in a slightly stunned silence, following a few feet behind Bravery, who was still muttering to herself.
"She doesn't know how to act…I mean she knows to be brave, she hasn't forgotten…it's more about how she…or you…is going to be brave."
Raven glanced at Affection, her mind whirling. "You're taking me to see Knowledge, right?"
Affection looked back at her with a sad smile. Raven's hood was up, but Affection's hood was fully down. Her eyes were watering ever so slightly and there was a slight quiver to her lip. "Yes…she will be able to help you…choose how to proceed."
"What do you mean? I don't understand what the cho-"
"Raven…we are all an aspect of you…so every one of us knows your secondary motive for coming here…say it…say it out loud."
Raven didn't like being on the end of her own monotone. Even though she was hearing this from Affection, possibly the most gentle of all of her aspects, the deadpan way she described Raven's inner thoughts left her unnerved.
"…I came to speak with Knowledge…about whether we can conclude that Beast Boy is truly…gone."
Affection nodded, letting out a deep breath as if a massive weight had just come off of her shoulders.
"Good…you see Raven, you haven't realised it, but calming your emotions and coming up with an answer for that question…they're intertwined. You cannot find any form of control without having the answer to that question to inform yourself. Knowledge will explain it better than I can. For something that is so abstract…her analytical approach to problem solving may actually explain it more succinctly."
Raven simply nodded numbly, allowing the conversation to die off, so that the only sound was Bravery, who was still grumbling to herself. Eventually, Raven noticed that the route they were taking had at some point taken the form of a well-defined path. Raven knew exactly where they were headed. She wouldn't ever say it out loud (her emoticlones knew anyway), but they were headed for Raven's favorite location in Nevermore.
The path began to rise out of the ground, slowly becoming a ramp upwards that led towards a bridge, with mountains visible in the distance. Raven could see it looming on the horizon now. Beyond the meandering bridge in front of them, lined with flaming braziers., Knowledge's library became clear in the distance. The building itself appeared to be etched out of the rock face it was built on, with large jutting towers rising directly out of the stone, connected together by the tunnels of the library that lay deep within the mountain side. The ornate library entrance was made of cast metal, the doors open to all. Above the threshold, engraved into the bronze, was a quote in Latin.
"scientia, aere perennius."
"Knowledge, more lasting than bronze." Raven gave a small, but genuine small at the symbolism. This library could crumble, it's structures give way and be lost to time. But Raven would carry the knowledge gained with her always. In this way, the library would live on in a new form. She turned her attention back to the entrance, where Bravery had already disappeared inside. She felt a squeeze on her hand, and turned to Affection, who was giving her an encouraging look. Raven took a deep breath and stepped across the threshold in the dimly lit halls of the library.
Raven would never get tired of seeing the inner workings of the library unfold before her. In some ways, considering it was within her own mind, she was impressed with herself for coming up with something so stunning. The hallways, even now, were lined with books, ranging from books on spells and potions to memories and random thoughts of hers. The hallways all led upwards, leading to a massive open space that opened up to a domed ceiling like the Pantheon in Rome. Books lined the walls the entire way up, not falling out despite the angle some faced the floor at. Along the rim of the room, spaced out evenly were multiple ladders on wheels that reached right to the top of the ceiling. No book was out of reach.
At the centre of the room, sat a massive tree, which itself generated a gentle, orange glow, casting a a warm light across the entire room, almost like it was the largest lamp for bedside reading ever made. At the base of the tree, a classic style, but hand-carved librarian's desk stood and Raven could already see a yellow emoticlone sat at it, vigorously going through papers and books, as Bravery seemed to be giving out to her about something. Raven and Affection continued to walk forwards until they were standing directly in front of the Knowledge's desk. It took Knowledge a few seconds to realize that there was more than one shadow being cast across her books, prompting her to look up and let out a gasp, jumping back slightly in her chain. She shot Bravery an annoyed look.
"You could have mentioned that they had arrived WITH you!"
"It slipped my mind, but now that Raven's here, can you PLEASE explain the situation to her so we can all stop feeling so…messed up?"
Knowledge adjusted her glasses and stood up from her desk, walking around to join Raven and the other two emoticlones. "Bravery, Affection…I think it would be best if I spoke to Raven alone…I have some things I want to show her."
The two emoticlones nodded and Knowledge beckoned Raven forward. "Come for a walk with me Raven, we have much to discuss."
Raven nodded and two left the other emoticlones at the librarian's desk and headed for the curved shelves on the edge of the room. Knowledge gently traced over the spines of the books as they walked.
"It's been an…eventful few days for us…we've learned a lot."
Raven couldn't help but snort. "You could say that."
Knowledge wasn't disturbed by Raven's tone, or if she was, she didn't let it show. "I've been desperately trying to keep track of everything, but even for me, this is difficult. Between Johnny Rancid, the vision of Deathstroke, Phobia, who is still within the tower lest we forget, it's been difficult to retain everything we normally do…and that is without mentioning the main target of our attentions."
Raven cast her gaze downwards, not wanting to meet the eyes of her most logical thinking and clinical emotion. "I know he's…gone…but it doesn't feel real."
"Do you know he's gone?"
Raven's eyes shot up to meet Knowledge's, who was looking at her in the same way a lab technician looked at a petri dish. "Raven, I am you…if you knew he was gone, you would not be so hesitant to say he was dead…and yet…you haven't yet. Why is that?"
Raven's eyes turned from shocked to furious. "Maybe I just don't want to say that out loud right now! Maybe I'm not ready t-"
SMACK!
Raven raised a hand to her cheek, where the sensation from Knowledge's hand was still stinging, a look of complete shock over taking her expression. Knowledge looked at her sternly, without any kin of remorse. "Don't. Lie. To. Me. You know the reason you won't say it, and I know the reason you won't say it, but you must, it is essential."
Raven stepped towards Knwoledge, tears pn the verge breaking out, when she spoke, there was a desperate tone to her voice. "Because I don't believe he's dead! Because he can't be dead! And I won't say it until I have proof!"
Raven closed her eyes, expecting Knowledge to call her naïve, or plainly tell her that she was wrong…but nothing came. Raven opened her eyes to see Knowledge looking at her approvingly. "There it is…now that is an interesting thought…and one that I have been putting quite a lot of time into…so let's look at what we know together…shall we?"
Raven only became aware of her mouth hanging open after a few seconds before promptly snapping it shut. She steeled herself, and looked at Knowledge head on, giving her a confident nod. Knowledge scanned her approvingly. "That's better…now then, if you look here…"
The pair came to a stop and Knowledge reached out to a shelf, withdrawing an ornate, leather-bound book. There were symbols and carvings on the outside and a crest sat on the front, which featured two hands reaching out to grab each other. Knowledge held the book in front of Raven.
"This contains every ounce of information you know about forming bonds and connections with people, both from your studies and from your practical experience. It also contains the two bonds you have formed, information on the people you formed the with and any other relevant information. Raven…I had to review this several times, to make sure we weren't wrong but…it seems the type of bond you formed with Beast Boy…is a far more serious connection. For your bond to Robin, you went searching for him using your soul-self, but for Beast Boy…you established it through shared experience…you tracked him down though the human connection you essentially had already formed…that is…well remarkable in all honesty."
Raven's interest had been peaked. "So the bond I formed with Beast Boy was different to the one I formed with Nightwing?"
Knowledge nodded. "Yes, you're bond with, at the time, Robin, was a situation of him granting you permission. In Beast Boy's case, based on what information we have…whether he meant to do it or not…but it seems he subconsciously wanted you to find him…a connection like this wouldn't have a chance if it didn't go both ways...you may have been searching for him, but he was a flashing like a beacon for you."
Raven was reeling with this new information, but she still hadn't made the link. "I don't understand though, what's the importance of the difference for Beast Boy now?"
Knowledge placed the book back on the shelf. "The bond you have with Robin, or that type of bond, you share a connection, but you can block out each other's thoughts, and essentially forget it exists. The type of bond you have with Beast Boy is so much more…you can his feel emotions from hundreds of miles away…you can feel…even share his pain…"
The gears were turning in Raven's head at a hundred miles an hour when suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks and she had to physically put a hand on Knowledge's shoulder to keep herself steady. Knowledge, for her part, looked like she had been expecting such a moment. Raven adjusted herself so she was meeting Knowledge's eyeline.
"So I did take some of Beast Boy's pain from his fight with Deathstroke and that's why Cyborg couldn't figure out what war wrong with me…and I technically died for a small amount of time…"
"But here you are, alive and well."
"So you're saying there is an actual logical conclusion that could be made…that Beast Boy went through the same thing I did? And that he's alive as well?"
Knowledge nodded, but her expression turned cautious. "This is what is causing the disruption to your emotions…based on the knowledge you have…there is a chance that Beast Boy is alive…but this type of connection…we are not as well-versed in, and we don't have time to source that information before Deathstroke's arrival. Your emotions want to act, but they themselves are torn. Affection doesn't know whether to mourn or allow hope to seep in. Bravery doesn't know whether her focus should be on putting on a brave face in spite of Beast Boy's demise or in preparing for Deathstroke, because she can believe Beast Boy is alive…you are on the fence about what to think…because hope…that is dangerous."
Raven was a little speechless, but not because of the dilemma that Knowledge thought she had, but because for all her need for controlling her emotions and acting logically…this was the easiest decision she'd ever make.
"Hope may be a dangerous emotion…but by Azar is the most necessary one. Robin once told me that I was the most hopeful person he knew and at the time, I didn't believe him…but I think I understand it now…my entire life, I've had to go against the odds…and despite how hard it's been…I will continue to do so. So you know what, I don't care if hope is dangerous…I'm never losing it."
Raven stared at Knowledge defiantly, but there was no need, as Knowledge was beaming at her. "Well then Raven…let's dare to hope."
Raven didn't get a chance to respond, as she was tackled from behind by an overjoyed green emoticlone, who was being closely followed by Affection, her light-blue cloak billowing behind her as she ran to catch up, Bravery released Raven and gave her two thumbs-up.
"Alight! Finally, you made your mind up! Okay, we got a two days minimum before Deathstroke shows up with his little army and we've got recruits for the fight sitting in your living room. We got people to train and we gotta step up!"
Raven nodded approvingly at her emoticlone's enthusiasm, before noting the gentle touch on her arm of Affection. "Thank you Raven…I know if our hope turns out to be unfounded…it will hurt more but…what was that book you read…we will carry the fire? Or do you still think that the author was naïve?"
Affection couldn't help but let out a giggle at Raven's expression of disbelief. "I'm sorry I couldn't resist. For now, you need to get going back. The other Titans are going to need you…if we believe Beast Boy is still out there…well, we do this for him…and for the rest of the Titans!"
Raven gripped Affection's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry…I'll keep a little fire burning…however small…however hidden."
With that, Raven made for the exit, flanked by Bravery and Affection, their destination set for the forbidden door. Knowledge watched them leave with pride. The other emoticlones would be able to return to normal, now that Raven had her priorities in order. With that, Knowledge sat down at her desk, and moved her books to the side, instead, opting for a book she had kept within the main drawer. She looked at the cover, an innocuous thing, with no real noticeable features…and yet she now understood the depth of meaning that lay within the pages. With that, Knowledge flipped to the first page.
"Carrying the fire indeed…"
The non-stop poking was the first thing he became aware of. It was the first thing that made him realize that he was conscious. His eyes moving lazily beneath his closed eye-lids and the twitching of his fingers was the first sign that whatever was poking him had risen him from his state of comatose. An expression of annoyance came across his face as the persistent poking would simply not stop. Almost as if his patience had finally been broken, the green teen sat bolt right upwards, eyes wide, letting out a gasp as if he hadn't taken a breath for several days, only to come face to face with a surprised and annoyed looking herring gull, who attempted one more peck at his face, before taking flight.
It took Beast Boy a few seconds of deep breathing before he began to wonder why his hands were wet. He looked down, noticing for the first time that he was sitting in about two inches of water, on the edge of a river bank. Ahead of him, the water supplying the river was crashing down from a massive set of cascading waterfalls, which took up an entire cliff face. Beast Boy rubbed his head, trying to remember how he'd ended up here. He knew he was still in Alaska. He recognised the scent of the forest but how had he…
His fight with Deathstroke flooded back into his head with such force that the Changeling had to put an arm behind his back to steady himself. He had spoken with Deathstroke. He had tried to lure him into being his apprentice and when he turned him down, he had revealed his plans for the Titans. They'd fought…he was the Beast…then he'd taken over again…and then…
Beast Boy hit his head in frustration. He couldn't remember anything after that. He knew the Beast had come out again but he had no idea of what happened after that. Just a very foggy memory of a warm…almost comforting feeling in the back of his mind…he couldn't even place what it was from. But then the realisation hit him. Deathstroke was headed for Jump City. The Tower. The Titans…Raven..
Beast Boy attempted to shoot to his feet, and immediately regretted it when his body screamed at him in protest. He looked down at himself to assess his wounds. Based on how he'd woken up, he could only assume that the Beast had lost and he couldn't imagine that Deathstroke would have had mercy on him. So he couldn't help but be surprised to find…anything. He had no visible markings, scratches, cuts…aside from his scarred eye from his last time in Titans Tower, he seemed to be in perfect health, excluding his body's stiffness. "How? How could I be just…fine?"
Beast Boy didn't take to much time to dwell on this. He would have time to think about that later. Right now, he didn't know how long he'd been unconscious or how much of a head start Deathstroke had on him. Beast Boy paused, becoming aware of a faint vibration coming from his jumpsuit pocket Reaching in, he pulled out his Titans communicator, a device he hadn't turned on in months. He looked at the screen, which instead of showing the black screen that indicated it was off, was showing a flashing yellow and red message "Calling All Titans S.O.S: Titans Tower". Beast Boy's blood ran cold. Deathstroke's assault could have already begun.
Beast Boy was about to shift into a bird and take to the sky, when a thought silently creeped into his mind. If the Beast had lost to Deathstroke, and considering its strength of "personality"…how was it after losing? Beast Boy steadied himself and took a deep breath, and readied himself to transform…and then opened his eyes when nothing happened. Beast Boy's brow furrowed. He closed his eyes tight, thinking off all the emotional triggers he had used before…and nothing.
While Beast Boy didn't transform he could feel the Beast's presence. It sat in the back of his mind, watching and evaluating his every move. "Maybe this is what it feels like to it when I can't control my actions but I can watch through its eyes." He didn't know what to do. The Beast clearly didn't want to come out, but he would need it for the fight ahead. Beast Boy let out a cry of frustration. "Oh come on! You always want to have a fight and just because you've been beaten once, you're gonna sulk!?" A flash of pain in Beast Boy's head was his only response, causing him to stumble and steady himself against a tree. He pushed his fingers against his forehead and took in a breath. "Okay…shouting is not the call…got it."
Beast Boy tried to remember his fight with Deathstroke, specifically when the Beast had been caught in the air. The Beast had been doing the damage on the ground, but once it was out of it's element, it was only because the Beast had given Beast Boy back control that he'd been able to save them. Beast Boy slid down to take a seat at the base of the tree, closing his eyes. "You know…for the longest time…I was terrified of you…"
It was a bizarre feeling, but Beast Boy could swear he felt the Beast's "gaze" sharpen on him in his head. "I was terrified of what you could do…what I could do if I lost control…who I could hurt…but that was wrong of me…that's now what you are…you and I have the same priorities…the same goals…"
The Beast's presence seemed to mellow slightly, like it was slightly less enraged by Beast Boy's shouting earlier. Beast Boy took this is a sign to continue projecting his thoughts to the creature. "You did everything you could to protect the ones I care about…but now…Deathstroke…we have an enemy that neither of us can beat alone…during our last fight…when we worked together…we had him, and you know it. We're going to have to do it again…you have the power…I have the know-how…we can be so much more."
He could feel the Beast inside him, just beneath the surface, unsure of how to respond to such a proposition. Beast Boy was surprised that he had managed to open up a line of dialogue at all and he wasn't going to waste. "Deathstroke threatened the Titans…he threatened Raven…we both want to take him down…so let's do it together."
Beast Boy didn't know what to expect from this. After all, this inadvertent conversation had only happened because he couldn't assume the form of the Beast. He knew the Beast had understood what he had proposed. It was an aspect of who he was, just beneath the surface…and then he felt it. Understanding…consideration…approval. Beast Boy felt the Beast's presence disappear before his entire body convulsed against the tree, pushing him away from his resting spot to the middle of the ground, where his back arched against the ground. He felt like the entire animal kingdom was moving inside him. He felt their raw power flowing through him, every fibre of his being.
As suddenly as it started, it stopped. Beast Boy lay on the ground panting. He felt good…he felt better than good…he felt fantastic…he felt wild. Beast Boy got to his feet. Even with only one eye, he immediately noticed, everything seemed clearer. The scents of the forest were just that bit more distinct. His ears were picking up sounds he'd never noticed before. Beast Boy flexed his arms…something felt different about his body…or more specifically his muscles. Beast Boy looked to the tree behind him that he had been sitting against. A curious thought crossed his mind and without hesitation, Beast Boy swung a punch at the tree and couldn't hide his surprise when his fist, instead of bouncing off, took a solid chunk of the wood out of the trunk, sending bark flying in different directions. The Beast had agreed to work together…and it looked like that meant in both forms. Beast Boy smiled.
"Oh hell yea."
Beast Boy then turned away again and close his eyes. This time, the transformation came quick and swift and the Beast stood where Beast Boy had been not seconds before. It looked the same as always, bar two noticeable changes; a prominent scar on it's abdomen and the presence of pupils in it's eyes. If it didn't move for several seconds until it jumped in the air in surprise. The Beast looked down at its claws, watching it's finger flex as it opened and closed it's fists. It raised its arms above its head and back down. Beast boy was in control of the Beast. He could still feel it's presence, just as he did before, in the back of his mind, ready to fight for control if it thought necessary, but Beast Boy was now the one in the driving seat. The Beast Boy crouched down low, getting into a defensive stance, before exhibiting a tidy sequence of martial arts move, ending with a flip and landing back on his feet.
Beast Boy internally was grinning like a madman and went to change back but was surprised when he didn't. He was in control, so why couldn't he change back? He felt the Beast's presence flare up and he immediately clocked the reason and internally face palmed. "Really?" He could have sworn he felt the Beast laughing in his head, but he brushed it off and focused his thoughts. "Blue is still my favourite colour…"
The familiar shape of the changeling reappeared on the river bank. Beast Boy couldn't be too annoyed. He wasn't controlling the Beast, but that's never what it should have been about. They were working together…a unit…one single being. If Beast Boy was in control, but the Beast wanted to keep the same method for changing back…that seemed a fair trade.
Beast Boy turned his attention to the task at hand. He didn't know how long it had been since his fight with Deathstroke. For all he knew, he was already back assaulting Titans Tower. There was no time to waste. Beast Boy took out his Titans communicator, watching the "Calling All Titans" message flashing on the screen. He grimaced and put it back in his pocket. He didn't know if he would still call himself a Titan…but there was no way he was leaving them to Deathstroke. He would have to return to his campsite to get his stuff first and then he could work everything out from there on the fly. When did his plans ever work anyway?
Beast Boy was about to take the form of a falcon to go back to his campsite, but then stopped. "Might as well take the new form for a test-drive." In a second, the Beast was back, letting out a howl as it jumped across the river to the cliff face and began scaling the side back up to where it could detect the scent of it's belongings. After collecting the few items he needed, Beast Boy was gunning for Deathstroke…which meant he was heading for Jump City…Beast Boy was heading for home.
