Chapter 2: Home
Reviews:
killertyger26: What happened to Lynn Jr will be explained in this chapter and Dr. Lopez is no longer Clyde's therapist which will also be explained in chapter 3.
The Keeper of Worlds: You'll find out soon!
U. N. Owen: Thank you, What happened to Lynn Jr. will be explained in this chapter and Lincoln will have to deal with a whole lot of new things while also trying to live the life he wants.
A/N:
Since Lynn Jr. won't be appearing for a bit, know that I will simply be referring to Lynn Sr. as just Lynn until Lynn Jr. enters the story.
Despite Nikki playing a major part in the story, Ronnie and Sid won't be appearing just yet as this part of the story is going to be Lincoln both trying to adjust to the changes around him while also trying to live his "Ideal Life" as well as dealing with the consequences of trying to live said life.
I should also mention that the sister's personalities will be different from how they usually are and why they act the way they do now will be explained as the story progresses and Lincoln interacts with them more. So that when you see one of the sisters do something out of Character, there's a reason for it.
Edit:
One thing I want to add about this story is that it's helping a lot with some of the... existentialism I've been having for quite some time.
"Chainsmoking your love" was a story I wrote that helped deal with my depression, (if it wasn't obvious), and to be honest, I don't know if I like it as much as I used to.
Now I'm not going to get rid of it as it is one of my most popular stories but when I look back and read it, I notice that there are problems with it, such as the handling of characters and not diving deep into Lincoln's depression itself.
But I feel like this story can and hopefully will surpass "Chainsmoking Your Love" because I have a plan for this and because during the time I was gone, I have been questioning my place in this world and been asking the same thing Lincoln has of what kind of life I want to Live.
Now I wouldn't say I'm back to being depressed, but I have this dark filling in my body where I ask myself of...
What kind of life do I want to live?
Do I keep living my life for the sake of others to feel some sense of accomplishment and pride but hate myself in the future because I don't have a sense of what I want, or do I want to live the life that I want to, where I live for myself and what I want, but in turn, kind of ruin bonds and relationships I have formed with people who mean the world to me?
And I think I have found an answer for myself, which I why I made this story.
But I'm not going to answer, after all, that just ruins the ending of the story, so why not read on and see if Lincoln comes to the same conclusion?
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy tonight's chapter!
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Lincoln saw in the back of what his dad dubbed "Vanzilla 2.0", Vanzilla 2.0 was a sky-blue Kia Sedona, and it was just as spacious as the old Vanzilla, but Lincoln wondered what had happened to the old Vanzilla. Lincoln even asked his parents how he got this, Lynn explained that they had help from their new resident, which Lincoln was confused about, wondering who was now living at the house and if it was someone he knew or a total stranger he was about to meet.
Eventually, the three were finally home and Lincoln noticed another car in the driveway. The car was a black mercury marauder, and Lincoln had no idea who that would belong to as he knew the cars of his friends, well, he did 4 years ago.
They got out of the van and Rita smiled as she placed her hand on his shoulder, "Welcome home," She said, her voice not trying to break.
Despite it being the house he grew up in, Lincoln couldn't help but feel that he was entering a whole different place, but he powered through the feeling, and with his parents, he walked up to the house, opened the door, and walked in. Once he was inside the house, his eyes drifted to the living room, and in the living room, he saw two blonde girls on the couch.
One girl was a blonde, and one of her bangs covered her eyes and seemed to be rather tall and appeared to either be around his or Lynn's age. She had a dark blue bucket hat on her head with a few pins on it, She wore a light blue jacket over a white tank top, a pair of jean short-shorts, calf-high socks, and a pair of pink and white high tops.
The other girl was much younger and appeared to be around the age he remembered Lana and Lola to be at before he entered into a coma. She had blonde hair that was tied back into a small ponytail. She wore a lavender vest over a black shirt with a lavender skirt, knee-high white socks, and black Mary Jane shoes.
Both girls looked away from the TV when they heard Lincoln enter and when the older blonde looked at him, a smirk grew on her face as she got up and looked at him.
"Welcome home, Snow White," She teased.
Lincoln looked at her with a raised brow, "Uh... do I know you?" he asked.
The girl smiled and walked toward him, standing in front of him and Lincoln saw just how tall she was, She was standing at what Lincoln could assume was 5'11 and if he remembered correctly, he was only 5'7 when the Doctors took his height.
The girl looked down at him, "Not surprised you don't remember me, cotton-top, but to refresh ya memory, I'm Nikki Conners, Me and Santiago used to hang out back in the day," She told Lincoln.
Hearing this, he did remember Nikki, of course, she looked different than she did four years ago, but Lincoln smiled at her. "No, I do remember you," Lincoln told her, "You just... well you look different than I remember," He told her.
"Well, you have been knocked out for 4 years," she told him.
Lincoln nodded, "Yeah... a lot has changed," He said. "But what are you doing here?" he asked her with a raised brow.
Nikki smiled at him, "I live here now," she told him.
Lincoln looked at her with wide eyes, "Really?" He asked.
She nodded, "Yeah, me and my aunt are renting out the basement," she told him.
Lincoln was surprised to hear that, "The basement?" He asked. He then looked over to his parents, "You cleaned that out?" He asked.
Rita nodded, "Yeah, and we decided to rent it out, That's when we met Nikki and her Aunt, they rented it and we slowly refurbished it over time to make it more hospitable for them," She replied.
Lincoln smiled, "That's pretty cool," he said. However, another question came to his mind. "Why'd you move out of the city?" He asked.
Hearing the question, Rita and Lynn had realized all too late that Lincoln was unaware of what had happened to the girl.
"Ah, Lincoln, I don't think-" Lynn began
But Nikki stopped him with a shake of her head, "It's all good Mr. L," she said. She looked back at Lincoln, "My Aunt and I moved here after my parents died," she told him.
Hearing that, Lincoln couldn't help but feel like a jerk for asking such an insensitive question. "I-I'm sorry! I-"
Nikki just shook her head, "Relax Linc, you didn't know," She told him, "Besides I've mostly come around to it, and I'm handling it better than before," she told him.
"Still, I'm sorry for you're loss," he told her.
Nikkin smiled at him, "Thanks," She said. Nikki then saw the youngest loud sibling sitting on the couch, looking around with an uncomfortable expression and Nikki realized that Lincoln had someone more important to meet.
"Anyway, I think there's someone else you gotta meet," Nikki told him, gesturing to the other blond on the couch.
Lincoln turned to look at the blonde girl who looked at him with a bit of an awkward smile and gave him a small wave.
"H-Hi, Lincoln..." She said.
Lincoln looked at the girl with a raised brow before it struck him as to who it was and his eyes widened with shock. "L-Lily...?" He asked.
Lily Loud, the youngest loud child, now at the age of 6, nodded.
Lincoln was in complete shock, and all he could do was hug her and he felt Lily freeze up and felt like he had made the wrong move and was about to pull away until he felt Lily's arms wrap around her and hug him back.
Eventually, the hug broke and Lincoln could see that Lily still looked a bit awkward about the whole thing and Lincoln knew why.
He was a stranger to her.
She was too young to remember him before he fell into a Coma, and that hurt him, Lily was one of his biggest responsibilities as an older brother, he took care of her, and did everything for her the most, and the thought that Lily had no idea who he was, only knowing him as her brother in a coma, never really knowing him or possibly about him...
That hurt him, that hurt him.
Nikki looked to Rita, "Forgot to say, but I told the others about Lincoln and they're coming here, They want to throw him a party," Nikki said. "Well... not all of them of course,"
Hearing that, Lincoln was taken out of his depressing thoughts and looked at his parents, "What does she mean not all of them?" He asked.
Nikki's eyes widened with surprise as she realized that Rita and Lynn hadn't told him about Lynn Jr. "Oh, I didn't mean to-"
Lynn stopped her, "No, It's alright Nikki," He told her, "We should've told Lincoln before he came home," He said.
Lincoln looked at his dad with a raised brow, "Tell me about what?" He asked.
Rita let out a heavy sigh, and then she looked at him and took a deep breath before letting it out. "A month before you woke up, Lynn... she..."
"Junior was drunk driving," Lynn Sr told his son. His voice was strong but Lincoln could tell it was hard for his father to say. "Now, she wasn't hurt too badly, nor was anyone else, but since she was under the influence and did wreck the Van and the other vehicle, she went to court and then Jail,"
Lincoln's eyes widened with horror, "For how long!?" He asked.
"Just a year, so not that long really but she... Junior... she hasn't been the same since you're Coma," Lynn told his son.
Hearing that his sister was in jail sent a wave of shock and disbelief in the only male loud child. He couldn't believe that one of his sisters, more importantly, Lynn herself, would be drunk driving.
"Can I see her?" Lincoln asked with a raised brow.
Rita nodded, "Of course, we'll try to make a day where you can go see her, but we've got a lot on our plate as of right now," Rita said, "Gotta get you to see a therapist, get you into School, new clothes, and apparently, a party," Rita said.
Lincoln slowly nodded, still feeling a little down.
Everyone noticed this and Nikki quickly changed the subject.
"I'll also call Clyde, Stella, and Liam, over, I'm sure they want to see you after all this time," Nikki said as she turned to Lincoln.
That got Lincoln to smile and he was once again taken out of his mind. With that, Rita and Lynn left to go get things for the party, leaving the three in the House alone, until Lincoln's other sisters arrived from their jobs and School.
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"So, How have you been?" Lincoln asked.
Sitting next to him and watching TV, was Lily, and Lincoln was trying his best to reconnect with her but she could see the uneasiness on her face, and while it hurt him, he couldn't blame her.
"I-I've been fine..." She replied.
Lincoln nodded, "That's good," He replied
Lily nodded slowly, "Yeah..." She replied.
"How's school been?" He asked.
"It's good," Lily replied.
Lincoln smiled, "What have you learned?" He asked.
Lily shrugged, "You know, the usual," She replied.
"Right," Lincoln said with an awkward smile. "How's everyone else been?" He asked.
Lily smiled a little, "They've been okay, I guess," she replied, "Nothing out of the usual," She said.
Lincoln chuckled, "So, they haven't changed in four years, huh?" He asked.
Lily slowly nodded, "I guess,"
After her reply, there was a moment of silence and all Lincoln could feel was extreme awkwardness for some reason. He felt terrible for continuing to ask questions when Lily was uncomfortable.
The white-haired boy let out a sigh, "I-I'm sorry Lily, I know this has to be pretty weird for you," He said.
Lily looked at him with a frantic look, as if realizing she had done something wrong. "No! No! No! I-I didn't mean to... Ugh... I'm doing it again!" She groaned.
Lincoln looked at her with a raised brow.
"I don't mean to come off as rude I just never know what to say to people who..." Lily began, trailing off.
"Who you just met?" Lincoln asked.
Lily nodded, looking slightly ashamed.
Lincoln smiled at her softly, "Don't feel bad, I know that I'm technically a stranger to you," He said, "You only ever saw me in my coma, and I don't think the girls ever really talked about me, so I can't really blame you about feeling awkward around me... I'm just a stranger," He told her.
Lily looked at her older brother and she could see just how much pain was in his eyes. It was a trait she picked up from Lucy and Lisa, Lily could read people really well, and she could see the pain in her brother but there was something else, something she couldn't quite place... until she did.
"Is it weird?" Lily asked with a raised brow.
Lincoln looked at her and knew what she was referring to, and while he was a little surprised she was able to read him, she simply shrugged it off and gave her a nod. "It's like waking up in a different world, I feel the same, but I can see that everything has changed..." he began, "It's scary because a part of me knows that this is real, but a much bigger part of me wonders if this is all real? Am I stuck in a dream? Am I... Still in a coma?" He asked.
Lily couldn't help but shudder at those words, she was 6 but thanks to her sisters, she understood a lot at her age and she could see and tell that Lincoln wasn't taking waking up from the coma well, feeling out of place and scared because of everything that has changed for him in what seems like an instant.
Lily then pinched his arm and Lincoln winced but smiled at her with a raised brow.
"What you do that for?" He asked.
Lily smiled, "You felt that, and if this was a dream, you couldn't feel it," she said, "So, you're awake, right?" She asked.
Lincoln couldn't help but smile and nod slowly. "Thanks, Lily," He said.
Lily smiled, happy that she was able to ease her brother, "Don't mention it," he said, "And... I promise to try and not be so awkward, I... I want to get to know my brother," Lily told him.
Lincoln's smile quivered and he could feel a tear beginning to form in his eyes, and he hugged the girl and she hugged back. Lincoln felt a lot better and he excused himself to the bathroom to wipe away his tears, leaving Lily to watch TV by herself.
Upstares he wiped his tears away and sniffled a bit but recomposed himself. He looked at the mirror in the bathroom and couldn't help but feel ashamed of himself. He didn't know why, but every time he felt emotion, it felt like they were cranked up to ten, and he could only assume that this was due to his hormones.
After composing himself, he left the bathroom and his eyes glanced to the other end of the hall where he saw the door to his room, and he stopped. He stood at the bathroom doorway, staring at the door that led to his room... or what may have once been his room.
He didn't know what made him do it, but he felt a pull to the room, so, he walked to the other end of the hallway, With each step, he felt like he was being pulled by a rope toward the door.
In a way, it was like some invisible force was pulling him to the room, but in reality, it was him, wanting to see if the one place in this house, his room, the place where he always felt safe when things got rough.
He wanted to see if the last thing he held dear, the last place he may have been able to feel normal... was gone.
Eventually and finally, he stood in front of the door, and he could feel every fiber of his being wanted to see the room, to see if everything inside was gone, but he was scared if it was gone. However, that all disappeared when he saw the door open. He didn't even realize that he had opened it but he did, and when he looked inside... he saw that everything remained the same.
He blinked once, then twice, then three times, only to realize that his vision hadn't failed him. Everything in his room remained the same, everything was exactly as it was, and not a thing looked out of place and that... that scared him a lot more.
He expected some things to be gone, to be misplaced, or even for some things to be stacked up in his room, kept for storage place, but there wasn't even that.
Everything stayed the same.
A sense of dread filled up inside of the young boy, because everything around him seemed to be... enshrined.
"They kept it like this for a long time,"
Lincoln turned around and jumped, and standing at his doorway was Nikki, who entered the room and then sat on his bed, looking around with a bit of a sad look on her face.
"They waited for the day you woke up, wanting everything to be the same..." Nikki said.
Lincoln had no idea why she had a sad look on her face, but he also didn't like the idea that his family had enshrined his room. "They should have just used it for storage," He said.
Nikkin nodded, "They should have but... people deal with things in different ways," She said. "I think they didn't want to do anything to the room because they didn't want to feel like they were letting you go, to them, piling up this room with junk or removing everything from it was like pulling the plug," Nikki said.
Lincoln nodded and he sat on the bed next to her, Oddly enough, it was clean, he had expected a large cloud of dust to shoot up when he sat down.
"How often did they clean the room?" He asked, looking at her.
Nikki looked at him, "Once every month," she said.
Lincoln sighed, and guilt rose inside of him.
"Stop beating yourself up," Nikki said.
Lincoln looked at her, surprised he was able to read him.
"Surprised?" She asked. "Don't be, The only reason I know you've been blaming yourself and feeling guilty is because I did the same when my parents died," She told him.
"But how can I not blame myself?" He asked, "It's because of me-"
"It's not because of you," She said, "I heard you might not remember how you ended up in a coma, and I'm not gonna tell you either because it'll just bum you out, but all I'm gonna say is that it was an accident, an accident that everyone here is blaming themselves for," Nikki told him.
Lincoln looked at her, he wasn't completely put at ease by her words but it did make him feel slightly better, but that guilt was still inside of him.
Nikki yawned and then stretched before he fell back onto Lincoln's bed and groaned, "Ugh... I'm so freaking tired," she said.
Lincoln looked at her and for some reason, when he did, his eyes wandered over her figure, he noticed how curvy she was and how alluring she was. He felt his body heat up a bit, but he quickly turned around and looked away, trying to take his mind off of Nikki's curves and the many other images that were entering his head... and the only thing that did the trick was a question.
"What kind of Life do you want to Live?"
For some reason, that took him out of his thoughts of Nikki. That single question made everything else inside of him disappear, the guilt, the sadness, the arousal, it all disappeared and was replaced by one thing...
Existential Reflection.
"What kind of Life do you want to Live?"
"Huh?"
Lincoln turned to Nikki with a raised brow, "What?" He asked.
Nikki sat up and looked at him with a confused expression, "You just asked me "What kind of life do you want to live", Where did that come from?" She asked.
Lincoln realized that he must have spoken out loud by accident and smiled awkwardly, "Ah, Sorry, I just... I was thinking to myself," He replied.
Nikki just lay back down, "Pretty deep stuff you were thinking about, Cottontop," She told him.
Lincoln nodded, "I guess so..." He replied. "But What kind of Life would you want to live? A selfless one or a selfish one?"
"What brought this up?" Nikki asked as she looked at the ceiling.
"It's a question that's been burning in my mind for a while, Heck, for some reason it was even burning a hole in my mind when I was in a coma," Lincoln replied. "I've been wondering what kind of life I want to lead... eleven years of my life were spent helping my sisters and parents and while I don't feel bad about it, I felt like it was a waste and... and another 4 years were spent in a coma which I can't remember how I ended up in, so I've been asking myself if I want to really go back to how I was or... live selfishly?" Lincoln replied.
Hearing that, Nikki still looked at the ceiling, but she remembered something Clyde had told her about Lincoln's life and his perspective, he even told her about a certain event that he felt changed the family. She remembered hearing how much pain Lincoln had gone through and how he still cared for his family despite them being the ones who hurt him.
She remembers how angry and disgusted she was at the Louds, she remembered how one day she asked Rita about it and she didn't deny what happened, and while she was apologetic and regretted the event, she said something that she knew would hurt the older woman.
Nikki apologized for those hurtful words but Rita said she didn't need to apologize as she deserved it, but that just made Nikki feel worse.
But Rita said that if Lincoln ever woke up, She'd let him live the life he wanted, and she would support him, no matter what.
Nikki had to agree, and still agreed, that Lincoln should live whatever kind of life he wanted after she learned about everything he sacrificed and just how much he loved his family despite how they treated him in certain instances.
"Live selfishly," Nikki told him.
Lincoln looked back at her, appearing to be surprised by her answer.
Nikki didn't look away from the ceiling, "You've done enough for them in the past, I'd say live selfishly," She told him.
Lincoln didn't know why but he was both happy and sad to hear Nikki's response. He felt glad that someone had told him to live selfishly, but... There was just this other feeling that felt unsatisfied, felt that something was wrong with her answer.
"Thanks, Nikki," he said with a small smile.
Nikki just smiled softly, "Don't sweat it, bunny boy," she replied.
Suddenly, they both heard the front door open and quickly shut before loud running coming up the stairs and Lincoln and Nikki looked down the hallway only to see a familiar figure.
It was Luna, and despite how long it's been, Lincoln still recognized her, even if some features were very different.
Luna's hair was still short but not as much as before, she had silver ball earrings and she wore a dark purple jean vest, Under that was a black shirt that still had a skull on it and under the sleeves appeared to be fishnet sleeves. She also wore a pair of dark purple jeans that were slightly ripped in certain places, and black boots with light purple laces. She had some rings on her fingers each different shapes and sizes, and also had some small spiked bracelets around her wrist.
In some weird way inside Lincoln's head, Luna had changed that much, she was older, taller, and more decked out than before but it was still familiar to him.
Luna looked down to her brother's room only to see him and Nikki standing at the entrance and for a brief moment, she thought she was dreaming, She thought that this was just another part of her mind trying to make her feel better but that all that was dashed away when Lincoln Spoke.
"Luna...?" She heard Lincoln ask with a smile.
Luna's lip quivered and she ran to her brother and pulled him into a tight and almost soul-crushing hug and Lincoln hugged her back just as hard.
"It's... It's good to see you again, bro," Luna said, her voice shaky.
Lincoln nodded in the hug, "It's good to see you too," He said.
Nikki smiled at the sight and moved around the two, "I'll leave you guys be for now," She said before walking downstairs, but as she did, she looked at Lincoln and smiled, glad to see that he was happy at that moment and his mind was off of what was putting him down.
The hug eventually broke and the two looked at each other with smiles. The two had always been close, what with Luna being one of the few sisters Lincoln could really talk to about things that bothered him.
As for Luna, she always loved her little brother, sure, there were fights but they always made up for it, and she never forgave herself for the NSL incident, she couldn't believe she was dumb enough and fell for it and believed both Lynn and him, she couldn't even blame him for going along with the lie, it wasn't like he got privacy around the house.
But she tried to make up for it, and when he fell into a coma, she was devastated, She was his older sister, and she was supposed to protect him, but because of what happened... she felt utterly crushed, and while she didn't take it as hard as Lori and most of all Lynn, she was in pain for a long time.
But she didn't want to think about the bad times right now. Her brother was awake and she had so much to tell him about.
"Look at you... All grown up, huh?" Luna asked.
Lincoln shrugged, "Guess so," he said. "Still taking it in that now near the age you were before I... ya know..." He said.
Luna nodded, knowing that this had to be hard for her brother. "How you been holding up?" She asked.
Lincoln turned around and sat on his bed as Luna followed behind him. "So far, I'm doing okay, still wrapping my head around everything, but I think I'm fine," He replied.
Luna nodded with a smile as she took a seat next to her brother, "That's good," She told him. Luna then decided to ask about the hard questions. "Did the 'rents tell you about Lynn?" She asked.
Lincoln slowly nodded, "Yeah," He said, "A part of me still can't believe it, you know, I never would have thought she... Ugh..." he said.
Luna nodded slowly, her face a bit saddened, "I know dude, but don't worry, you'll visit her soon, and in a year, she'll be out and I'm sure everything will kind of go back to normal," Luna said.
'Normal?' Lincoln thought.
Could things really go back to Normal? Back to the way they were before everything happened? Before his coma?
"Anyway, I'm glad everyone else is coming here for the party bruv," Luna said in her British voice, "Been a long time since the whole family has been together," She said.
Lincoln nodded, however, the question came back to him. The burning question that had been poking the back of his brain came back. He looked to Luna, a part of him wondered if he could ask her the question and she would give him an answer without judgment, and another part of him wanted to ask her because she was his sister, she was one of the sisters he could trust the most.
"Luna?"
Luna looked at her brother with a raised brow and a small smile, "Yeah dude?"
"What kind of life would you want to live?" Lincoln asked, "A selfish one or a selfless one?" He asked.
Luna looked at him and while she still smiled, she thought back to how many times her brother had helped her and the rest of their sisters, how much he had sacrificed for them... how much they hurt him, how much she hurt him by throwing him out of the house. She then thought about the four years of his life that were taken from him, he didn't get to live the same life that normal teens did.
'You can make this up to him,' She thought 'You can make sure he lives the life he wants to live,'
With that thought, she looked at her brother and smiled before pulling him in by her arm, which seemed to annoy her brother a little but he smiled.
"I'd say live a selfish one, Linc," She told him, "Everyone deserves to be selfish once in a while," She told him.
Lincoln smiled at his sister's response and he was glad he got his answer from Luna, and yet... a part of him still felt... dissatisfied for some reason.
However, he brushed the feeling aside and believed that finally, he had his answer and that after the party, he was going to start to live for himself.
At this moment, Lincoln Loud believed himself to be free...
But he was wrong.
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"What is Freedom?" Alice asked the Red Queen
The Red Queen looked at Alice with a raised brow, "What do you think Freedom is?" She asked.
Alice looked at the ground, trying to find her answer but she couldn't find it. Alice shrugged, "I don't know..." she replied.
The Red Queen smiled at her, "That's fine," She replied, "Do you want me to tell you what Freedom is?" The Red Queen asked.
Alice nodded.
"Alice... true freedom is wild and savage, it's feral and smells feral, in exchange for the freedom of being able to do whatever you desire most, you are free to become burdened with the consequences of those choices," The Red Queen told Alice. "So all the terrible and awful things that happen or can happen to you, Happen because you are free,"
Alice looked at the Red Queen with a raised brow, "So if I wasn't free, would I be free from making those choices and not being burdened by their consequences?" Alice asked.
The Red Queen looked at Alice, "That depends, Alice... What kind of Life do you want to live?"
"What kind of life... I want to live?" Alice asked with a raised brow.
The Red Queen nodded, "Indeed, "What kind of life do you want?" She asked Alice once more, "Do you want to live a life where you make others happy but you are miserable? Or do you want to live a life where you are free from the expectations of others and are not shackled by bonds or emotions, only living for yourself and your pleasures?" The Red Queen asked
Alice thought about it, and she didn't like either option, she didn't want to break bonds with those she loved, but she didn't want to be a slave to making others happy while she was not.
"Is there a way to live with both options?" Alice asked.
The Queen smiled at the young girl before she hugged her tightly. "I don't know Alice," The Queen said softly, "But maybe... Maybe you can try," The Queen told Alice.
