Movie Stars
Gimme Gimme Chapter five, with a decreasingly relevant line from Abba's 'Man after midnight.'
Harry got to work and eyed the paperwork on his desk. He definitely needed to follow up on that dread beast, cursed rabbit thing. Carefully, because it put him in St Mungo's last time, of course.
Not that Harry Potter was ever reckless, or anything.
And it'll make the brand of bagged salad Greengrass buys safer. I couldn't live with myself if she got eaten just for wanting to have some salad with … whatever she eats for dinner.
Harry looked at the blood-spattered notes he had from the last encounter.
Pearson's Salad Greens, Aberswynneth, Wales.
Harry frowned. He had no idea where Aberswynneth was. And maybe he should get his blood off the notebook.
Harry used the departmental Apparation atlas to look for Aberswynneth, to no avail.
Which meant a time-consuming trip home to change, and a trip to the Islington public library. Their atlas of the United Kingdom did list Aberswynneth. Harry looked under G, just out of interest. Godric's Hollow was in there too. Harry checked under 'l' and Little Whinging, and Little Hangleton were both there. Quite comprehensive then, he thought to himself.
He flicked back to 'A', found Aberswynneth , and traced across the page to the grid-coordinates.
Ten minutes of squinting at the maps of Wales later, he found Aberswynneth. But this wasn't an Apparation Atlas, so he looked around for a larger, or more memorable town. Oddly enough, Godric's Hollow was only eighty miles away. And he already knew where that was. He made notes, and eyeballed the direction from Godric's hollow. Diagonally left down the page, so about south-west. Harry made notes in his notebook. Including the relative position of the nearest three large hills. He couldn't read the names of the hills, so he'd have to guess a bit.
By the time he was done, he had a bad copy of the tiny section of the map he was interested in on one page, and notes of directions and distances on two other pages. He closed the atlas, and hoped it would be good enough. And resolved, once this mess was over, to go to a really big book-store and buy an equally detailed atlas to keep in his desk at work.
And then Harry had to go back to work in Muggle clothes, taking some ribbing for being 'out of uniform' from his fellow Aurors, and spent an hour with the Apparation atlas working out some apparation coordinates that might work… with Godric's Hollow and apparating to hilltops as a backup plan.
Then he got lunch in the ministry Cafe – he was famished, and set off to find a Salad farm.
It took an hour to get to Aberswynneth, starting from Godric's Hollow, and apparating to hilltops. The coordinates he'd worked out didn't work at all… which wasn't surprising, he had no idea who apparation coordinates really worked.
The actual place was a tiny town, smaller than Godric's Hollow with a corner shop. Harry had an idea – the shop was the only thing open, and went in. A dark haired middle-aged woman stood behind a counter. It reminded Harry a bit of the Godric's Hollow grocer's shop, only less crassly commercial.
"Hello" said Harry "I'm Harry – Harry Potter. I'm um, from Godric's Hollow, which is ah.. about eighty miles north-east of here."
"Are you then. You don't sound at all Welsh" said the woman.
"Raised by my mother's family in … England" said Harry.
"Oh," said the woman, "Bethany jjones. What will you be having?"
"Actually," said Harry awkwardly "I'm after some directions. I had a hard time finding Aberswynneth, and I don't know where to go next."
"Oh yes but of course Aberswynneth is the English name" said the woman at the little corner shop. "It's Lllamly-y-llylam-clewyn in Welsh." Harry didn't bother getting his notebook out – he had no idea at all how to write that down.
"Right" said Harry, nodding "I'm looking for Pearson's farm? They do bagged salad." he added.
"Oh" said the woman lifting her nose "One of them, are you."
Harry waited.
"They're not even local. They bought the farm from poor Emily jjones after that business with her family."
"That business?"
"It all started in the sixties, of course. Before your time." said Mrs jjones. She paused significantly.
Harry wondered if this had to do with… well Death Eaters. That would put a different complexion on the disappearing dread beast of Caerbannog.
"In the sixties, you say?" he said.
"Adford, – Emily's father was a strange one" said Mrs jjones. "Are you sure you don't want to buy something?"
Harry eyed the shelves behind Mrs jjones, and settled on a packet of hard mints. Which cost over three pounds – his solitary fiver went away.
Mrs Jones have Harry change he was fairly sure he'd lose before he ever used, grudgingly slid the packet of mints over the counter, and said "So. It all began, as I said, in the nineteen-sixties."
Harry nodded.
"It was all because Adforth went away to School of course" said Mrs jjones. Harry stiffened. Oh really?
"It was so far of course – he had to take a train to get there" she added.
Harry's ears burned. He hoped, and dreaded what she'd say next.
"And such a silly name,"
Harry' felt like his heart was stopping.
"Llandaff Technical College" she said. "He came back with a transistor and those hippy records."
Harry took a deep, shuddering breath. Not Hogwarts then.
"And once his poor sainted mother died, he started a cult." said Mrs jjones.
Harry choked.
"It was all free love and… strong drugs and strange cigarettes… if you know what I mean" said Mrs jjones.
Harry sighed "I suppose so" he said.
"And then there was poor Emily born, and called Moonbeam. Her mother was one of those lot, called herself Sagewood." said Mrs jjones. "None of it lasted … Sagewood and Emily were the last there, of course… Emily came in one day with a tea-towel tied round her hair, crying. Her mother had passed, doubtless all the drugs, and there she was, without a penny to her name, and being called Moonbeam. The vicar organised a whip-round, and we got her a deep-poll form to change her name. She rented paddocks to jjones up the valley for years, till the house got too much for her, and she sold it to those strangers."
"Strangers"
"They're English. With their foreign car, and their foreign tractor. And then they built greenhouses – as if Wales isn't the perfect place to grow vegetables." said Mrs jjones indignantly.
Harry nodded and referred to his notebook "So. I need to go see these strangers – Pearsons's" he looked up.
"Well" said Mrs jjones.
Harry waited.
"They're ten miles on the road to Pent-y-crymu" said Mrs jjones. "Where's your car?"
"I parked outside town" said Harry, and in a fit on inspiration said "It's all a bit bustling compared to Godric's Hollow."
"It's those jjones boys" said Mrs jjones. "They're all up to no good. Driving around the town at all hours with their loud stereo."
Harry sighed. "yes" he said. "Which one's the road to Pent-y-crymu? My road atlas is rubbish."
"Well, you go out the door, across the crossroad, round past jjones's house – he's got the whitewash on his walls. Turn right before the sign for the big road, but wahtever you od don't take the little track between the houses – that just goes up the hill to jjones's place, and ye'll never turn around on his driveway, and have to reverse all the way back down."
Harry made notes, then read them aloud. "Across the crossroad, past jjones's whitewashed house, and turn right before the sign for the big road" repeated Harry.
"Exactly." said Mrs jjones proudly. "What do you do, Harry Potter?"
"I'm a policeman" said Harry, and Mrs jjones dropped something in shock.
"You're not in uniform, you can't fool me, Harry Potter" said Mrs jjones.
"Detective," said Harry tiredly. He picked up the bag on mints.
"So?" said Mrs jjones, "Is Pearson in trouble then?" she asked, and didn't bother hiding her obvious pleasure.
"No" said Harry "But we found something unexpected in his salad, and are following up."
"Surely that's for… the food standards people?" asked Mrs jjones.
"It was … a dangerous animal" said Harry "But I think it's a one-off."
"A dangerous animal in… bagged salad. See that's why decent, god-fearing people don't go near that sort of frippery" said Mrs jjones. She frowned "It would have to be a small dangerous animal? What was it then?"
"I'm not at liberty to say" said Harry.
"Oh, like that" said Mrs jjones excitedly. Harry left as quickly as he could and not look like a coward.
He followed the instructions and ended up finding 'the sign for the big road' was for the B4350. He back-tracked, and found himself looking at the only road on that side – a track between two buildings that sounded a lot like… the road to jjones's house. Harry huffed in annoyance, and turned around – and opposite, on the wrong side of the road was an unmarked road that didn't go off up the hill. Harry set off, skirting the muddy puddles, and shoving the near-useless direction into his pocket.
A few minutes later, he sighted the next hill along the line of the road, and checking the way was clear, apparated to the hilltop. A cold wind cut at him and he wished he'd brought a warm coat. But from here, he could see in the distance a glinting curve that if he used his imagination, might be an industrial greenhouse.
Harry apparated to the next hilltop he could see… and the cold wind really cut into his bones. The rocky hilltop had lichen on the rocks and brown tufty grasses bent sideways. He soon sighted not one but three greenhouses. He eyed a fragment of road nearby, and apparated closer. He landed on a badly used rock and mud road, with three huge greenhouses and a large galvanised shed, and to one side, a stone farmhouse with a slate roof. Harry set off, quickly casting a spell to check for magic nearby – and nothing registered, though that was not unusual. Hominum revelio told him there were four people in the shed.
A sign on the shed, freshly painted read 'Pearson's Salad'
Harry walked over and knocked on the person-sized door.
Some time later, a man in a white PVC apron and wellingtons opened the door.
"We don't do door sales" said the man.
"I'm looking for the owner" said Harry.
"You found him. What is it?"
"We found something unusual in a bag of salad from Pearson's." said Harry.
"We?"
"The department" said Harry.
"The occasional bit of detritus could conceivably get in if it flaoted like leaves and weighed the same" said probably Pearson.
"Actually" said Harry, taking out his wand "Confundo" "Tell me, have heard of Caerbannog?"
"No" said Pearson. "Why ask me?"
"Could an animal get into the bags?" asked Harry.
"We run a tight ship" said Pearson. "There are insect zappers, rat and mouse traps, and the shed was built vermin-proof. We had a bit of trouble with something burrowing into the greenhouses to start with, but once we'd had exterminators in for moles and rabbits, we had no further problems."
Harry concentrated on his confundus charm, "I'm a lost tourist. And I'd like to look the bits of your farm that aren't greenhouses. Is that okay?"
"Well, freedom to roam" said Pearson, checking his watch "The truck from Cardiff's arriving in an hour. Do be careful not to be on the roads when the artic comes."
"Right" said Harry, putting his wand away "I'll just… go ramble then."
Pearson waved.
Harry wondered briefly if he might have overdone the confounding, and hurried off down their big driveway– the light wouldn't last forever.
The sloping, disused fields were overgrown with brambles and tall grass, but Harry finally found a boundary fence a followed it on a hunch – getting wet feet in the process.
Right at the bottom of the farm, where it abutted a wooded area, he found a wrought iron gate in the fence that might have been painted black once, but was now mostly rust. A chain and padlock held it shut, and a battered metal sheet was wired to the gate. And Harry made out the impression of the words 'Keep out.'
'Bingo' thought Harry. He eyed the bottom of the gate. A small animal could easily squeeze under. He apparated across the gate, and landed slightly unsteadily. There was a very overgrown path down into the wooded area.
And the path led down to a small river, wending across the valley, though the path just paralleled the river. Harry drew his wand and gave some overgrowing brambles a quick seeing-to. And went to cast a muggle-repelling charm… only to find one already there.
'Curious,' he thought to himself, and wand ready, followed the trail, cutting back brambles and weeds till he got to a rope bridge over the river. It looked, to Harry's professional inspection, like a perfectly serviceable 'Having an adventure bridge.'
Next to the bridge, a wooden sign covered in lichen teetered on a short wooden post. Harry cast a cleaning charm on the sign, which now read 'Danger.'
'I'm bloody good at this,' thought Harry smugly.
He charmed the bridge unbreakable – he wasn't some amateur twelve-year-old anymore, and crossed the bridge, which swayed a little.
He stopped at the far side of the bridge before he stopped off onto the path, and charmed himself with the stone-skin charm, and charmed his clothes impervious.
The path led through trees to a hillside, then turned round the edge of the hill to stop at a rocky cliff. A rocky cliff with a scree slope below it, sloping backwards into what was clearly a cave.
Harry eyed the scree slope carefully and realised some of the rocks were in fact… bones. He cast a supersensory charm in himself, and saw deeper into the dark of the cave, and more clearly. Strike that. A lot of the rocks on the scree slope were, in fact bones. Not just the bones of small animals either. He was pretty sure some of those were cow bones, and that looked suspiciously like a human skull, resting against the edge of the stone wall and the slope.
Harry stood still and let his magically assisted senses investigate, hardly breathing. And there, at the back of the (quite shallow cave actually) was a white rabbit.
He frowned. Last time he got bitten. Well… lost fingers. This time...he wasn't underestimating the dread beast of Caerbannog.
All he had to do now was stun it, and get it into a cage.
Harry slid down the scree slope, wand out, and when he felt he was in range, he fired his first stunner.
The rabbit leapt towards him, like it was fired from a cannon, its teeth bared.
Harry battled manfully. Well, it nearly dislocated his fingers. The stone-skin spell was keeping his fingers attached.
But the rabbit somehow got enough leverage in mid-air to fling Harry into the cave wall – he was nearly stunned. As it was his unbreakable glasses and stone-charmed skin nearly broke his nose.
He counter-attacked with a knock-back jinx, and for his trouble, ended up being held head-down in the river by its counter-hop and kick. He struggled not to drown for ages, his hands scrabbling on the river -bank, but the rabbit had unnatural leverage. As he started to lose consciousness, a surge of possibly magically assisted energy let Harry roll over, and hold the bunny underwater till it went limp. He got it out of the water and held it by the back legs. Water drained from its little mouth, and it started to twitch. Harry stunned it.
He put the stunned rabbit into a cage transfigured from the cow ribcage. Then guiltily cast a drying charm on it – and dried off, it looked rather cute and fluffy.
He check the time – it was well into evening shift, so he was off work now. And he ached.
Harry took the cage to Greengrass's flat to show her he could actually do Auror-ing without anything weird happening.
He stopped out of the floo and said "Oy Greengrass!"
Daphne Greengrass came into her kitchen, reading a magazine. Harry tried to read the title of the magazine, which might have been 'Charms for the perfectionist.'
"I got it!" said Harry.
She fully-body-bound him. "You idiot!" she exclaimed. And looked annoyed.
"Are you hurt?" she asked the rabbit, which gnawed on the metal cage.
"I'll take that as a no" she said.
"What the fuck?" asked Harry.
Daphne Greengrass sighed and stood up "My… my little sister suffers under a horrendous curse."
"What, she's a were-rabbit?" asked Harry snidely.
"Don't be ridiculous. The women of my family are, well it's a bit of a lottery, every generation or so, are cursed with being the dread beast of Caerbannog." said Daphne, matter-of-factly.
"I've seen your sister" said Harry. "She's a human being."
"Until the curse strikes, then she's the dread beast of Caerbannog till she's sated the bloodlust" said Daphne.
Harry looked down at the white rabbit trying to bite through the metal bars of the cage.
"Sate the bloodlust?"
"Until… she kills, she stays the dread beast of Caerbannog" said Daphne.
"Kills, like… a toad or something?" asked Harry.
Daphne put her hands on her hips "It has to be a mammal, honestly! A toad. As if."
"Just to clarify here" said Harry "It's not, for example, totally hypothetically, the case that she has to kill a human being to make it back to human form?"
"No. Don't be ridiculous" said Daphne. But something in the way she avoided looking at Harry told him something. He sniffed his armpit – he didn't reek.
"But if she kills, say, a hamster, while she does get to be human again… there's some problem, isn't there?"
"Well, where would you get all the hamsters" said Daphne deadpan.
"I um, have worked out you're an Unspeakable, by the way" said Harry.
The dread beast of Caerbannog stopped angrily chewing on steel bars, to thump the bottom of the cage with one big, fluffy back foot, over and over again. Thump Thump-Thump-Thump. It was like someone hitting a toaster with a padded mallet, thought Harry.
"Oh shut up!" said Daphne to the rabbit. The rabbit launched itself at the bars, jolting the cage to one side, then the other and chewed ferociously.
"There is," said Daphne hesitantly, "a … superstition in our family that if whoever has the curse doesn't kill a human, the curse will start to consume the victim of the curse… and given that many of our ancestresses have died in their twenties, it may have some basis in fact."
"So… is your family house just above the cave or something?" asked Harry.
"No, we're from Norfolk." said Daphne "The curse is to be the dread beast of Caerbannog, not to just be a psychopathic, carnivorous white fluffy bunny."
"What?" asked Harry.
"The curse transports her back to Caerbannog every time it strikes" said Daphne.
"And it strikes …?"
"More often if small animals are the victims." said Daphne.
Harry considered the psycho rabbit trying to get out of the cage and kill him, and/or Daphne. "Please don't have been concealing a long history of letting the dread beat of Caerbannog kill people." said Harry. "I am an Auror, and that would be … really bad."
Daphne Greengrass lifted one eyebrow "As if I'd be stupid enough to confess some long family tradition of being serial killers to the first handsome Auror that came along."
Harry closed his eyes and took a couple of breaths, tried to empty his mind, and at least ignore the sound of a rabbit trying to bite its way out of a steel cage.
He opened his eyes "Miss Greengrass" he said "I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you and… the bunny to come with me for questioning."
"I have a perfectly comfortable sofa, Potter" she said.
"How'd she get out of DRCMC?" asked Harry.
"How do you think. I had to go in disillusioned and get her out" said Daphne. "I could hardly let them murder my sister."
"Who is currently a psycho white bunny." said Harry.
"Only till she kills" said Daphne. "Then the curse will leave her, and she will return to wherever she was when the curse struck."
Harry thought about that for a second "And has she killed a human?" asked Harry.
"You can't ask her. She can't remember being it. Nobody in my family ever has" said Daphne.
"Really" said Harry.
"And we don't know where caerbannog is" she admitted.
"Don't.. know?" asked Harry.
"My great-great aunt was the keeper of the vigil but she um. Went missing" admitted Daphne.
"There was a skull" said Harry bluntly.
"Bugger" said Daphne.
"What?"
"Well, that's the 'eating a human' theory of a cure shot down like a cornish pixie" said Daphne.
"What … about something bigger?"
"Well, we could try a cow, I suppose."
"Been done – the cage is transfigured cow ribs" said Harry.
Daphne sighed, and threw a stale biscuit from a plate on the end table into the cage, which the rabbit devoured.
"I wonder" said Harry "What about a giant squid?"
"Has to be a mammal."
"Well, a whale?" asked Harry.
"Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's accio-ing a whale" said Daphne.
"No, but whales get stranded sometimes" said Harry "We keep her in the cage, give her salad and carrots."
"The vegetarian option leads to the victims death in about five years" said Daphne. "My family, oddly, in the last several centuries, have tried many things."
"Lets ignore the murder implicit in that," said Harry, "Did you know rabbits live about about five years normally?"
Daphne frowned "So… the curse killing them is…"
"It's not a bit like lycanthropy no," said Harry "where the transformations are what kill them eventually. It's being a short-lived animal."
"But… it might be years before a whale strands in Britain!" said Daphne "You can't keep my sister in a cage till then!"
"Actually" said Harry "totally can – the word is prison, and believe it to not – by listening to the right kind of muggle news, we could find out about any whale stranding, anywhere."
"You're really committed to the whale idea?" asked Daphne.
"Well, the biggest animal bones at the cave are cow" said Harry "And whales are the biggest mammals."
"How could you possibly read all those newspapers?" asked Daphne.
"There's radio four - sort of the muggle version of the wireless. Biggest problem will be getting a portkey on short notice."
Daphne Greengrass lifted her nose "That" she said proudly "Is not a problem. My father's import-export business makes , well Daddy does really, makes international portkeys."
"Well, all we need to is go ask Andromeda tonks to keep an ear out, and we'll know soon enough."
Andromeda Tonks had a different idea.
Harry sat on the broom, floating over the Japanese 'scientific research ship,' disillusioned. In more ways than one.
A buffalo-sized fluffy white bunny covered in blood was rampaging around the ship – chasing terrified crew and, Harry grimaced… ripping their throats out.
He'd dropped it on the whale they were chopping up and it had eaten it's way into the whale, to emerge, buffalo sized, bloody and clearly still lusting for blood.
"Aren't you going to do something, you're an Auror" asked Daphne.
"Not my jurisdiction" said Harry. "And we can definitely write off whale as a solution."
"It just made her bigger," said Daphne, sitting side-saddle on her broom.
The crew, well, some of them got a fair way from the ship in life-boats.
Their big knives on poles, flare guns and chainsaws hadn't really helped much.
And then the dread beast of Caerbannog slid down the ramp on the back of the ship and started to paddle.
"Oh bugger" said Harry "It can swim."
"Tell me when it's over" asked Daphne, with her eyes shut.
Harry winced as the gigantic rabbit overturned lifeboat after boat, cracking the orange fibreglass shells and … well not leaving a great deal for the sharks.
Once there weren't any humans obviously in the water, the rabbit dragged itself back up the tail ramp into the ship and squeezed into the superstructure.
"You can open your eyes" said Harry "She's gone back into the ship."
Daphne surveyed the sinking lifeboats. "But... the survivors?"
"Well, there weren't any" said Harry. [AN: Not exactly.]
"Surely, with all the erm, deaths, she should have gone back to normal?" asked Daphne.
"I suspect the curse has gone wonky from the whale," said Harry.
She fired a curse at him which he dodged, "Hey, not my fault!" he exclaimed.
"My sister is stuck being a giant, carnivorous rabbit!" said Daphne indignantly. "I should never have let you talk me into this. What if she…"
The ship shuddered. There was shrieking groan of stretching steel.
"That's unusual" said Harry.
The ship tore in half, a massive white rabbit shuddering and slowly expanding as the ship fell away and sank. The rabbit was breathing was floating… as it expanded slowly to be bigger than the first whale it had eaten.
"I think" said Daphne uncertainly "She got into the cargo hold and ate the whales they'd already packed."
The rabbit expanded a little more, bobbing like a ship-sized fluffy white fishing-float.
"Well, this is going to be hard to cover up" said Harry.
And then, the rabbit started to inflate, becoming more and more spherical.
"Oh no!" exclaimed Daphne. "Rabbit skin's not that firmly attached, you know."
And with a bang like a bomb going off, the rabbit exploded. Harry braced to be hit by well, gross bits of hyper-giant rabbit, but there was nothing left. Not even blood.
Daphne shrieked.
Harry looked over, and she was hanging, upside-down by one calf from her broomstick.
Harry sped over, zoomed down, and picked her up, holding her in his arms. "Something magical happened" said Harry.
Daphne narrowed her eyes. "My sister exploded, you idiot!" she said. And started crying.
Harry decided enough was enough, and rummaged in his pocket, recovering the return portkey. He cracked it, and with a sickly tugging and spinning sensation, they vanished, to reappear over a well manicured green lawn, at one end, a two-story house shaped like, well a large block, and around the other edges, gardens.
She looked down "Oh. Home" she said.
Harry swooped down to the front doors –which burst open, and a tall brown haired woman in robes dashed out, pulling frantically at her socks, and carrying shoes.
Daphne somehow had an arm around Harry's neck and it tensed like a vice "ASTORIA!" she screamed, and Harry wished she'd said that quieter. He landed them next to Astoria, who was hopping on the gravel pulling on socks, and then struggling into shoes.
"You're all right!" said Daphne.
"No I'm not!" said Astoria petulantly, "I'm ten days late for my healer's appointment! You should have owled!"
The arm trying to break Harry's neck let go, and Daphne leapt off the broom, to grab Astoria and hug her. "You were … the thing again" said Daphne "And I was so worried you'd died!"
"In front of the boyfriend?" said Astoria, who'd stopped trying to get her left shoe on.
"He knows where Caerbannog is" said Daphne, still holding her sister in an enveloping hug.
"Oh" said Astoria.
"We tried an idea to cure you" said Daphne.
"Well, it didn't kill me" said Astoria quietly "Not… cannibalism?"
"That was tried ages ago – by accident" said Harry "There's an old skull in the cave."
"Harry?" asked Daphne "Lets not say."
"Well yes" said Harry "Lets say nothing, and we were never there."
"I will be seeking medical obliviation" said Daphne.
"Can you do a decent memory charm?" asked Harry.
"What why?" asked Daphne.
"Well, memory charm me to not remember that… incident in detail, then get your medical obliviation…. Hypothetically at work. " said Harry.
"The sheer boredom of my sister's job in records will do that" said Astoria.
"Yes" said Daphne. "Course it will. That's me… mad Daphne, always forgetting things."
"Now lemme go" said Astoria "I need to go see Healer Greise and re-book."
Daphne let Astoria go, and drew her wand "Let me just cast a few charms to tidy you up" said Daphne.
"Sure. Hair-straightener at least" said Astoria.
Daphne instead cast something really long with wand movements Harry'd never seen, and a silvery wave blew out of Daphne's wand, and slid over and past Astoria without being effected.
"Strange?" said Daphne "That normally goes black when it hits the curse."
"Don't stuff around with that" said Astoria. Daphne stunned her, and with a back-flick of her wand, levitated Astoria slowly down onto the ground, and cast another long spell, muttering in something not Latin.
And nothing happened when she cut the back of Astoria's hand except the usual slight drip of blood – which she episkey'ed up, cast a charm that un-tangled her sister's hair, another that smoothed out her cheeks with pale foundation, and then, she stopped, sighed, rolled her eyes, and cast what had to be an eyeliner charm – twice till Astoria had very dark lines round both eyes, then rennervated her, and with a speed that had Harry wincing, confounded her sister, who wandered back into the house.
Daphne turned to Harry, her wand down, her eyes watering.
"She's cured" said Daphne, and she licked her lips "There's a family tradition that whoever finally lifts the curse can… well have anything they like?"
"Um… date Friday night?" asked Harry, checking his watch – he had to go to the office and take himself off leave, no point using it all up.
"A date?" asked Daphne "You want a date?"
"Well" said Harry "When inferi or cursed monsters aren't trying to kill us, I do find you good company."
Daphne crossed her arms over her chest. "And by 'date' you mean… "
"Um. Dunno. Know any good restaurants?" asked Harry.
"Followed by a night of filthy ill-treatment" said Daphne.
"Steady girl!" said Harry, "I'm not that sort of bloke. I'm not into … well whatever that is… so you know… curb your expectations."
Daphne Greengrass's arms dropped to her sides, and she stared at Harry blankly, gaping.
Harry wondered for a second if he'd accidentally obliviated her somehow, but then she said.
"So, given the chance to demand anything of my family or I, you ask for a date?" she asked.
"Well yeah" said Harry "I kinda think Ginny might have taken the whole 'saved me, you're my hero' thing a bit too much to heart. I've got lots of baggage there. Just be yourself. Well… hopefully we won't get attacked by some exotic dark creature at dinner."
"You're an absolute idiot. You know that?" asked Daphne, with a slight frown.
"You say that, but your sister's not cursed" said Harry smiling.
Daphne frowned "You had one idea and fluked it." she said sharply.
Harry nodded "That's about typical really." he said and smiled again "see you Friday?"
"Certainly." said Daphne "I'll just go talk to my family."
"I expect they'll want to get professionals to check" said Harry. "Can I apparate from here?"
"No, you have to walk to the boundary" said Daphne , but Harry just jumped onto his broom and flew off.
"Do look out for the boundary, your broom will conk out!" shouted Daphne, and she sighed. "He's an idiot" she said, shook her head, turned and entered her family home.
Harry shot over the boundary and apprated in flight to the Ministry Atrium. He never noticed the broom stuttering.
-==0==-
Much later, in the Atlantic ocean, a solitary survivor was picked up by a container ship, in a survival suit, clinging to a broken chunk of orange lifeboat. He was shivering in terror.
Their bravest rigger had descended on a rope and sling-lifted the wretch from the water.
When they rolled him over on the lowest open deck of the container ship he just shivered "USAGI!" he cried, his eyes staring.
"Usagi!"
It transpired that he did, in fact not want a plush rabbit – his eyes glazed over and he fainted.
The doctors in the hospital tried feeding him some rabbit they'd procured with great difficulty.
He ran to the bathroom and vomited noisily.
"Usagi man," could only say 'Usagi' and spent most of his days shivering in a ball, hiding under his bed.
With sufficient tranquillisers, he slept in the bed, but was so tranquillised he wasn't really conscious.
His mother was very upset- Ashuro had been a talkative, if not very clever boy, and now all he did was shiver, or lie, drugged out. The first draft of The Institute of Cetacean Research's investigation concluded that Gojira did it. The less jokey second draft, that Sea Shepherds had attacked with some sort of hallucinogenic weapon. And trained attack Usagi. Or more probably, bottles of hallucinogen in plush usagi, launched from an air-cannon.
Sea Shepherds denied any involvement. And given that their only vessel was in dock with engine trouble the entire time, it seemed a plausible denial.
Some wag at The Institute of Cetacean Research laser-printed a sign 'Beware Attack Usagi' with a picture of a white fluffy bunny, and stuck it on some of the bathroom doors. They were caught using a review of surveillance video, reprimanded, and forced to wear a public relations whale costume, handing out flyers in Tokyo for a week.
None of that went unnoticed by the darker forces of the world… deep in the bowels of the CIA, the first draft blueprint for 'System USAGI' was created, and sent on by diplomatic bag to a CIA funded research lab in an allied country. Bullet points were: an Air cannon, a bottle of hallucinogen, and a reinforced plush Usagi to contain the broken glass.
