Fighting Back
Skye's eyes popped open, her body awake. Although she felt sluggish and heavy from all her crying before she fell asleep, she knew she was awake for good. Since there wasn't a way to tell time in the cell (no clock, no window with natural light), she had to rely on her body's natural biorhythms. She'd been waking up at 5:30 am consistently, so much so that she generally no longer needed an alarm. It's probably early. No one's coming for a while.
Skye lay in bed going over her options. For the first time, she admitted to herself that Vault D truly frightened her. She had no idea of the time, no clue when they would feed her, no way to let someone know when she needed to use the bathroom, no contact with the outside world, no idea of how often the cell was cleaned, and no control over anything. She also didn't have anything to do.
Once again, she felt grateful that Grant was no longer a prisoner here. It was truly a terrible place. Coulson's trying to break me down but it's not going to work. With that settled, Skye got out of bed and started doing exercises. Short of thinking (and she'd done enough of that), there wasn't anything else to do.
After she went through what she guessed was an hour's worth of body weight exercises, Skye decided to meditate. Given her racing thoughts, this was often difficult for her to achieve under the best of circumstances, so it presented a much-needed challenge. She'd only been at it for a little while when the cell's barrier was lowered.
Skye smiled grimly, pleased that Coulson and May seemed impatient that their attempt to punish her wasn't working. They don't know that it is; I'm barely hanging on. She got up off the bed, surprised that it was Hunter who let down the barrier. Skye hesitantly walked towards him, not sure what to expect.
Hunter's expression was impossible to read. "You've got everyone in a right tizzy," he told her. "Coulson wants you in his office."
Skye nodded, then carefully walked up the stairs in front of him. She briefly glanced around at what she'd come to think of as a torture chamber, hoping never to see the inside of it again. There was nothing but bad memories here. But she wasn't sure what was going to happen. It was entirely possible she'd be back in Vault D after her conversation with Coulson.
Once she was out of the dark space, she took a deep breath. Although logic told her the air in the hallway was the same as the air in Vault D, it just felt fresher. Maybe it's the air of freedom. Skye smiled at the thought, waited for Hunter to close and lock the door, then fell into step beside him.
Most unusually, Hunter didn't seem inclined to talk but Skye didn't let that stop her. "I get that you're mad at me for telling on Bobbi. I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. Everyone needed to know what she did," she told him.
Hunter didn't even break stride but Skye knew him well enough to see the hurt he was trying to hide. "Was that your revenge for Grant Ward then?"
"No, it was my revenge for Kara Palamas. What Bobbi did wasn't OK."
He scoffed. "She made a hard call while undercover. People around here do that all the time."
"I wasn't talking about giving up the location of the safe house. That was understandable. I was talking about Bobbi not telling anyone. SHIELD could've helped Kara earlier if we'd known what happened to her. But we didn't because Bobbi chose not to report it. How many times did Kara suffer because we didn't know she needed our help? What if one of us had killed Kara while she was brainwashed?"
Hunter didn't answer, plodding silently along beside Skye until they reached Coulson's door. She knew he didn't have a good response and didn't need him to give her one. Hunter would have to make his own peace with the situation. Skye knew from experience how hard that was.
She touched his shoulder lightly so he'd meet her eyes. "Thanks for being my friend." Hunter's lips quirked up and he nodded before walking down the hall. He nodded to Mack as he passed him.
Mack locked eyes with Skye. "Glad to see you out and about, Superstar."
She smiled. "Thanks, Mack." Before he could say anything else, she opened the door to Coulson's office and went in, shutting it gently behind her.
Coulson was in his usual position, leaning against the desk. Skye wondered why she'd never seen him sitting behind it doing paperwork. Perhaps that was too dull for an underling to see. She suspected Coulson always wanted to look like he was in charge, to project an image of engaged leadership. Skye used to believe in his carefully cultivated image too but now, it was shattered. There was no going back.
He gestured to her to take a seat. "We looked at the camera footage of the base from the time you heard about SHIELD giving Ward to his brother to after his escape. Other than a brief interaction with Ward when you were under guard, you had no opportunity to help him escape." He sighed. "I'm not saying we completely believe you didn't help Ward but there's no evidence you did. You won't have to return to Vault D."
Skye was relieved but worked hard to mask that. She needed to be cocky (a specialist's secret skill), so she snorted. "If you'd believed me when I told you that the first couple of times, it would've saved everyone a lot of time and effort."
Coulson nodded. "I thought you'd say that. But you know why we didn't."
His calm expression infuriated her. During her time in Vault D, she imagined that Coulson would be sorry for her suffering. But he wasn't. Skye firmly grasped the arms of the chair, breathing deeply to control her rage. I'm not out of here yet. I can't lose it. "I understand you had to investigate, but looking at the camera footage would've taken an hour at most. You kept me in that hellhole for a whole lot longer than you needed to in order to punish me. Just like you did to Grant and to who knows how many others."
"Skye…"
"And now that I think about it, I was in Vault D! Are there Vaults A through C too? Just how many people do we torture on a regular basis?"
Coulson crossed his arms. "We don't torture anyone. Those are holding cells for people we've captured. Prisoners stay there for a short time while we figure out where they need to go on a more permanent basis."
"And Grant? He was in there for a lot longer than a short time. I didn't even need to be put in there! You could've confined me to quarters while you carried out your investigation. But you didn't. Was I to be punished because of my feelings for Grant or for publicly disagreeing with you?"
Now it was Coulson's turn to breathe deeply. He uncrossed his arms and leaned back on his desk, using his hands to hold on to the ledge. It looked casual. If Skye hadn't been watching him so closely, she might've missed that he was gripping the desk so hard his knuckles turned white. She suddenly felt better. Coulson wasn't as unaffected as he seemed. Good!
"Neither. You were put in Vault D because I wanted to give some time to consider your position and your future with SHIELD. Having a lot of distractions around you might have inhibited that."
Skye smiled mirthlessly at Coulson's lie. Maybe he even believed that. But she knew he threw her in there because he was angry about her feelings for Grant, she'd made him look bad in front of the team, and because Grant had escaped. She wanted to call him out and rage at him for all the poor decisions he'd made since taking over SHIELD. But she couldn't. If I want to get out of here, I need AC to believe I'm on his side.
"OK. Position carefully considered. What now?" It was all she could do not to smirk when she saw Coulson's body relax. He bought it.
"We need to talk about your interrogation." He smiled slightly. "It was really something watching you get the best of May. That almost never happens."
Skye nodded. Instead of smiling back, she looked at the floor, her anger transforming into sadness. She hadn't wanted to hurt May or any of the people she'd come to view as family. She looked back up, searching Coulson's face, trying to remember what she'd felt the first time she'd seen him. Memories of his kindness and sense of humor, his confidence in her, and all the ways he'd turned a ragtag group of misfits into a family flashed before her eyes. For a while, it'd been glorious to belong.
Coulson looked startled at the tears in her eyes. "That was supposed to be a compliment."
Her lips twitched upwards into a brief semblance of a smile. "I know. I didn't want to upset May but I had to make her understand."
"Understand what?"
"Why I have to leave."
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Skye, you don't have to choose between SHIELD and Ward. What you do in your down time – and who you do it with – is your own business. We're not going to interfere with that. Things got tough when Ward was on base but that's not going to happen again. We turned him over to his brother and Ward escaped from his brother's custody. He's no longer our concern."
Skye kept her face expressionless even though her feelings rapidly switched back to anger. The sudden mood swings were almost making her dizzy. She didn't believe for a moment that Coulson and May, even most of the team, would ever be OK with her relationship with Grant. They might not obviously interfere but they'd find ways to keep her on base or on missions so that the two of them wouldn't have time to be together. But he'd never admit it. Maybe he'll see the light on other topics.
"It's about way more than Grant, AC. Hydra's attack on SHIELD was terrible but it exposed weaknesses that were already there. We're spies – lies and secrets are our business – but we can't handle it when people deceive us. Did it ever occur to you that maybe some Hydra agents had their reasons? But instead of stopping to ask why people we worked with turned on us, we treated them like trash! Apparently, we stand for justice only when it's convenient."
Coulson stared at her, his expression darkening. "You weren't with SHIELD for long enough to understand the depths of betrayal, so it's easier for you to get over it. But it isn't that simple, Skye! Hydra agents killed countless SHIELD agents, destroyed decades of work, and, oddly enough, never once stopped to ask how we felt about it."
"I'd never expect them to because they're the bad guys. We expect bad behavior from them. Isn't SHIELD supposed to be better than that?"
"We are better than that!"
"Are we? Because, if I remember correctly, the helicarriers for Project Insight were designed to kill people before they'd even done anything. That project may have been led by a Hydra agent but plenty of SHIELD agents went along with it too!"
"There's a fine line between freedom and safety. A lot of SHIELD leaders weren't happy with Insight but we have to stay one step ahead of terrorists and extremists! You're idealistic – that's one of the best things about you – but we don't live in a perfect world. Sometimes we have to make the tough call."
Skye snorted. "Hasn't anyone watched Minority Report? We're supposed to wait to punish people until after they've committed the crime, not before! And if we're especially good, maybe we can prevent crime by showing people a different way!"
Coulson crossed his arms. "Please, enlighten me. What should we be doing differently?"
"We could try to learn from our mistakes instead of just being angry and resentful. One thing SHIELD did wrong was not backing up our agents when they needed us. Agent Hand left Fitz and Grant to die. They would have had we not gone to get them!"
"Hand admitted that she didn't order an exfiltration team for that position because she knew we'd go after them ourselves."
Skye rolled her eyes. "That was pretty convenient of her to say after we got them out safely. Why didn't she just order us to retrieve them to begin with? Please don't tell me it never crossed your mind that she was covering her ass when she said she expected us to help them. Hand was too by the book to be OK with us disregarding orders."
"You didn't know Victoria Hand very well. She always had a method to her madness."
"OK, agree to disagree. But it wasn't just that mission; apparently, there were a lot of times when SHIELD agents were left to die. John Garrett turned to Hydra after SHIELD refused to come get him after a mission went south. Even though he was an asshole whose death was totally justified, not even Garrett deserved to be left behind! Why should anyone be loyal to SHIELD if SHIELD isn't loyal to us?"
"In a perfect world, we wouldn't leave anyone to die but some threats we face are so extreme that going back for people just isn't possible. Specialists like Garrett and Ward accept those risks when they join SHIELD."
"But that's another problem. You can't just send people out on mission after mission where they get beat up and kill people, then expect them not to have problems! I may have called Grant a Robot and T1000 but he's not! None of us are! Look at May. She's amazing but let's not pretend that she isn't damaged from her work with SHIELD. Bobbi was so focused on damaging Hydra that she let Kara get kidnapped and tortured without even trying to help! People are so hurt by this work that they can't have normal relationships. That isn't right, AC!"
He sighed. "Being a specialist is incredibly difficult; that's why there aren't very many. Sometimes people have to sacrifice for the greater good."
"Shouldn't we at least try to find a different way? Maybe if we didn't train people to be emotionless automatons, they wouldn't respond so badly to difficult situations. I get that having Grant at the Playground was hard on everyone. He hurt people, killed SHIELD agents, and betrayed us by siding with Garrett. Maybe some people won't ever forgive him and that's OK. But when he was here, people seemed to lose their minds. Everywhere I looked, there was anger and hate. Even you and May were obsessed with revenge."
"You mistake revenge for doing what was needed for the sake of SHIELD," Coulson said coldly.
"You put a severely ill person in a torture chamber! You sold an abuse victim to his abuser!"
"I don't expect you to understand the reasons behind every decision. What we did with Ward was necessary for SHIELD's survival."
Skye huffed. Does he really believe that? "I guess you have to tell yourself that but you're wrong. What you did to Ward didn't help SHIELD. It hurt us because it made us look like Hydra and that can't be good for recruitment. If you truly want to do what's best for SHIELD, don't piss off the Avengers or throw away skilled agents. Save Vault D for true enemies and not just people you're mad at!"
"SHIELD relies on order and discipline. Vault D is there to give people consequences for disobeying orders."
"Find another consequence! That one's cruel and it isn't who we are." She sighed. "AC, I've spent my whole life running from groups that thought they were doing the right thing even when they weren't. I never thought SHIELD would be one of them."
Coulson started to respond, then looked away from Skye, gazing at the wall, his face alive with feeling. Fascinated, Skye watched the various emotions battle for supremacy across Coulson's face. She saw vengeance warring against tenderness for a valued protégé. After a long minute, love seemed to win.
He nodded to her. "You're right. SHIELD needs to heal and we haven't done that. But that's where we need you. Clearly, our team has some blind spots that you, and Andrew if he's willing, could help identify."
Skye smiled sadly. "I hope you find a way to make things better, I really do, but I can't stay."
"SHIELD needs you, Skye."
She stood up and smiled sadly at Coulson. "SHIELD may need me but I don't need SHIELD."
"At least stay here until you figure everything out. How are you even going to get off base?"
He has me there. I have no plans. Skye had no idea how she was going to get off base or what she was going to do once she left but she'd figure it out. The girl who'd lived in her van and won a computer in a bet was resourceful. She'd be fine.
"That's why I'm here."
Skye whirled to face the speaker. Her mouth dropped open as she gazed at Nick Fury standing in the open doorway. Instead of his usual black leather duster, Fury was dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie. Sunglasses covered his eyes.
Fury smiled slightly at Skye's surprise. "I thought you might need an escort off the base, so here I am." He glanced at Coulson, the smile replaced by a stern look. "Phil, sounds like you and I need to have a conversation real soon."
Coulson's frown deepened. "Of course, sir."
Fury tilted his head toward Skye. "You ready?" he asked her.
She nodded, walking quickly towards the door, willing herself not to look back at the man who'd been the closest thing she'd ever had to a father. As she turned to enter the hallway, she couldn't leave without saying anything. "Bye, AC. I'll be in touch!" Then she left the room before she did anything embarrassing like cry.
Skye hurried down the long hallway toward her room, Fury trailing silently behind. She hadn't wanted to tip her hand about leaving and hadn't even known if she'd be allowed to take anything if she did, so she hadn't packed. However, her things were organized for a quick getaway and it took less than 10 minutes for her to pack. Fury remained silent but Skye didn't let that bother her. She figured he was a man of few words much of the time anyway and his silence didn't mean anything bad. I just want to get out of here.
She walked quickly down the hall towards the hangar bay (Fury hadn't said how they were leaving but she figured he'd flown), her steps faltering when she saw Trip leaning against the doorway to his room, his expression unreadable.
"You leaving?"
Skye nodded, her eyes full of tears. "I'm sorry, Trip. I hope you're not disappointed in me."
He pulled Skye into a hug, then stepped out of it to look into her eyes. "Girl, you could never disappoint me. SHIELD isn't for everyone. I was born into it but other people? They can pick and choose when it's good for them and when it isn't. You do you."
"Thanks," she said after taking a shuddering breath. "You know I love you."
"Of course. How could you not?" He grinned at her shaky smile. "You'd better stay in touch though or we're going to have an issue." He gave Fury a nod, then went into his room and closed the door.
Skye surreptitiously wiped her eyes, then continued down the hall pulling her suitcases. Mack popped out of the lounge at her approach, grabbed her in a bone-crushing hug whispering, "Take care of yourself, Superstar!" then leaving almost as fast as he came. Out of the corner of her eye, Skye saw Fury shake his head.
She was grateful she didn't see anyone else on her way out because she didn't know if she could handle one more goodbye. Fury led walked ahead of Skye once they entered the hangar bay, gesturing towards a neat quinjet and she followed him on it, trying desperately not to break down. She didn't think the almighty Nick Fury would appreciate tears, no matter how well-earned.
Once they were in the air and she'd gotten a better handle on herself, Skye turned to Fury. "How did you know I needed you?"
He smiled slowly. "Grant Ward sent me."
