Disclaimer: I don't own Urusei Yatsura.
"Woohoo! I'm getting married!"
Artaru could barely contain his excitement as he stood at the alter of the church. The young man was the most cheerful he'd ever felt, which was only natural as this was to be the happiest day of his life.
The sacred building he was inside was filled with lots of people. They had come to witness him taking a beautiful girl to spend the rest of his life with. It was something hardly anyone could believe they were about to see.
Nobody in the church was able to grasp they were about to watch Ataru getting married.
Ataru couldn't tell who his bride was to be. He had no idea whatsoever he was getting married to. He wasn't the slightest bit worried about what he was himself getting into. He didn't mind who he was about to take to be his wife just as long as she was pretty.
Swinging around where he was standing, Ateru directed the smug sneer on his face towards the boys he'd grown up with in high school. They were all seated together in one pew, unable to mask their jealous towards their old classmate.
"In your faces, suckers!" Ataru jeered. "I always knew I'd get married way before any of you!"
The boys glared and frowned. In the time had had passed since they had all left school, Ataru was the same cocky, arrogant person they'd been in class with.
"Damn that Moroboshi!" Mendō sulked, folding his arms. "How did someone like him get married before me, the heir to the Mendō family's corporation? It's outrageous!"
At that moment, the doors of the church swung slowly open.
All eyes turned to see who had just arrived. The atmosphere was filled with awed, astonished gasps - with the loudest one of all coming from Ataru.
The bride had arrived.
She entered the building and started to walk down the aisle. Her white dress stood out in the atmosphere of the church with her train following behind her. She was holding in front of her a large bouquet of colourful flowers - which completely hid her face from view.
As he watched his bride approach, Ataru grinned broadly. He was eagerly looking forward to spending the rest of his days with this young lady - whoever she was. It was only then that he began to wonder who he was about to take to be his wife. It had hardly crossed his mind in the build up to his wedding, but now that they were seconds away from getting bound together for eternity, he was beginning take interest in who he was to share his life with.
The bride reached the alter and stopped alongside Ataru. She turned towards him as she lowered her bouquet down to reveal her face was concealed by the translucent veil of her wedding dress.
Ataru's heart hammered inside his chest. He had to find out who his bride was. Could it be anyone he knew? Shinobu? Ran? Sakura? Ryuunosuke? Benten? Ryouko? He had to see for himself which of the ladies in his life he was getting married to.
"Hey, Babe!" Ataru grinned as he took hold of the veil covering his future wife's face. "You all ready to become my Mrs Moroboshi?!"
Throwing the veil hastily up over the bride's head, Ataru set his gaze upon hear - and his jaw dropped upon finding out who he was about to marry.
"LUM?!"
"Hey, Darling!" Lum smiled lovingly at her future husband as she stood beside him in her white wedding dress. "I'm so happy our marriage is about to become official at last
"Our m-m-marriage?! O-Offical?!" Ataru stammered, outraged to see who his bride had turned out to be. "What are you talking about, Lum?!"
"Well I am your wife, silly!" Lum giggled, throwing her arms around her staggered groom. "It's about time we actually had a wedding, isn't it? Better late than never, Darling!"
Ataru was beside himself with shock. Of all the cute girls in his life, he couldn't believe he was getting wedded to the alien who had become obsessed with him since invading Earth. He had tried endlessly to make it clear to Lum that he wasn't interested in being with her. She had always refused to take the hint, determined to stay by his side forever.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage between Ataru and Lum."
The whole church went silent as the preacher began the ceremony. Lum let go of her groom to face the one who was about to bind them for eternity. She linked her arm with Ataru's, looking forward to having everyone seated behind them witness her become his wife.
Ataru slowly turned his stunned gaze towards the figure before him and Lum. He was still in shock over discovering who his bride had turned out to be - and his horror increased upon discovering who the preacher that was to marry the pair of them was.
"Cherry?!"
"If anyone in this room can think of any reason why these two should not be married…" The short, bald-headed monk peered up from the holy book in his hands. "Speak now or forever hold your peace!"
Ataru peered over his shoulder at the seated guests behind him. He could see they were made up of plenty of people he knew from his old classmates to even his parents. None of them were making any sounds to object the idea of him getting married to Lum.
Come on! Ataru thought desperately. Somebody! Anybody! Get me out of this!
Nobody said anything, but Mendō did start to raise his hand. A feeling of relief swept through Ataru, as he knew his rival had always had feelings for Lum. Mendō was just taking a breath to protest against the marriage - only to be silenced as Shinobu clamped a hand over his mouth from behind, dashing the groom's hopes.
"Nobody objects?" Cheery smiled. "I didn't think so. Let's get these two hitched together as they should be!"
Ataru turned back to Cherry, unable to hide how outraged he was. His whole life had gone downhill ever since this irritating little nuisance figure had entered. It was shortly after first encountering Cherry when Ataru had met Lum - and had been unable to shake her off ever since.
"Do you, Lum, take Ataru," Cherry began, "do be your lawfully-wedded husband?"
"Of course I do!" Lum giggled as she clung tighter onto Ataru's arms. "My Darling will never see a single day without me as his loving wife!"
Ataru clenched his teeth at Lum's declaration. A sweatshop ran down the side of his head. He couldn't let such an idea become a reality. He wouldn't let his life be dominated by this stubborn, clingy alien.
"Do you, Ataru, take Lum," Cherry continued, "to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"No!"
The church instantly filled with loud cries and horrified gasps. Everyone was astonished to see the groom reject the bride at the alter. No one was more shocked than Lum, whose aghast expression quickly changed to one of anger as she glared intensely at Ataru.
"I don't! Hell no I don't!" Ataru began to race down the aisle, leaving the bride behind instead of having her by his side as he attempted to escape his own wedding. "I'm not marrying Lum! Not now! Not ever!"
"Darliiiiiing!"
With her irritated tone filling the whole church, Lum jumped up from the alter to fly after Ataru. She quickly caught up with the runaway groom, lunging into the back of him to pin him to the church floor.
"No!" Mendō cried, leaping up from his seat. "Let Moroboshi go, Miss Lum! Marry me instead! I'll be the best husband you could ever ask for!"
"You're saying you don't wanna marry me, Mendō?!" Shinobu exploded. "I see how it is!"
"Please could you calm yourselves down?" Cherry asked the hollering youngsters. "We are in a sacred building after all."
"I don't care if this is a church!" Shinobu stormed up to the church organ to pick it up and throw it in her anger. "Men be damned!"
As he remained pinned down on the floor, Ataru looked up in terror towards Lum. She was smirking at him in a scary manner. Her golden eyes seemed to be sparking in madness with her determination to keep him to herself. The thought of spending the rest of his life with this crazy alien terrified Ataru.
Seeing that this wedding was getting more than a little crazy, Cherry flipped through the pages of his book. He decided he'd better deliver to the part everyone had gathered to hear before the tempers which were flying brought down the entire church.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife!"
"Yay!" Lum threw her arms around Ataru. "Did ya hear that, Darling?! You and I are officially married - forever!"
Ataru wailed in defeat in anguish.
"You may kiss the bride," Cherry urged.
Ataru squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips firmly together. He was completely unwilling to kiss the girl he had not wanted to marry. It was no use, however, as Lum pressed her own lips against his. He heard the guests in the church cheering loudly as he was kissed by his wife - before she proceeded to brutally shock his body with her powers of electricity.
With a horrified scream escaping him, Ataru sat abruptly upright as his eyes shot open - to find himself in his bed, much to his surprise.
He glanced around with his surprised gaze. He was no longer in the church, but in his bedroom. It was late in the night with only the moonlight creeping through the window to provide some illumination. None of the wedding guests were anywhere to be seen. Nobody had gathered to witness the young man getting wedded to a bride he didn't want to marry.
"Phew!" Ataru wiped his brow with relief. "That was a shocking dream!"
"Really, Darling?"
Ataru's eyes widened. He had just heard speaking to him from his side had been a voice he knew all too well. He turned to face the one who it belonged to, frowning upon discovering he was not quite as alone as he had thought.
"What was so awful about your dream?" Lum asked, laying in the moonlight alongside her 'husband' on his bed. "You wanna talk about it?"
Ataru narrowed his eyes. The person who was trying to comfort him about his nightmare had been the whole reason why it had been such a bad dream in the first place.
"What are you doing, Lum?" he asked irritably.
Lum smiled. "Why I'm just watching my Darling sleep."
"You were watching me sleep?!" Ataru frowned. "Really?!"
"Uh huh! That's just what a good wife should do for her husband!" Lum beamed as she threw her arms around Ataru. "I will always be by your side, Darling! I will be with you every single day - as your beautiful beloved wife!"
Ataru but his bottom lip. The terrible dream he'd had wasn't too different from what his real life was like with this clingy alien. He winced as the tight embrace Lum held him in filled his body with pain - which only increased as he cried from the shockwaves she delivered to him out of her undying love for her Darling.
THE END
