A radiant energy shimmers throughout the air as a young man casually strolls down the street, hands buried deep into his pockets as the light illuminates the golden "WM" on his belt. This man, named Wiggles McGee, walks past a Trader Joe's as he continues his stroll, but then stops and looks back as something catches his eye through the window of the shop. Wiggles McGee walks up to the building and knocks on the door, which draws the attention of the store's owner, named M'arc Jacobs.

"You here to buy my health food? If you ain't, then geddoutta here." says M'arc Jacobs, eyeing Wiggles McGee cautiously.

"Hey man, I just came here because I noticed you have a bag of Scandinavian Swimmers in there. I've been looking all over for those and can't find any." Wiggles responds, pointing at a shelf behind M'arc Jacobs. M'arc Jacobs seems to tense up momentarily, before responding in a harsh tone.

"Them's are off sale, forever. None shall eat them, but I'd be glad to let you try something else. Come on in and look around." M'arc opens the door, and immediately steps in between Wiggles and the direction of the Scandinavian Swimmers. Wiggles slips on in and starts to pretend to look around. After some fake searching, Wiggles picks up a box from the frozen meats section and turns to M'arc Jacobs.

"Not So Sloppy Joes, huh? I haven't had these since like, two frat parties ago!" Wiggles exclaims with a chuckle, which causes a twinkle to appear in M'arc's eyes. M'arc begins to go off on a long-winded explanation of why so many people prefer Not So Sloppy Joes to their less-healthy counterpart, during which Wiggles is able to swap out the Scandinavian Swimmers with a nearly identical bag of Swedish Fish. "So, how much for the 'Joes?" Wiggles asks, returning to the spot where he was when M'arc started his monologue.

"10." M'arc responds, and Wiggles fishes into his pockets and hands M'arc the money before heading out the door. "Alright, have a nice day, don't smell bad unless you do, come back if you ever want more healthy foods, and don't open the bag of fish!" M'arc calls out, while Wiggles enters the parking lot and hops onto his 1989 Subaru skateboard. M'arc soon notices that his Scandinavian Swimmers have been replaced, and rushes out on foot to chase after Wiggles, who has already gained quite a bit of distance. Wiggles McGee soon reaches his boss's office, which is in fact his office because he works for himself. Wiggles sees M'arc rushing towards him, and puts up a sign that says "do not disturb" to prevent M'arc from entering his office.

"Hey, let me in! Those Swimmers harbor eeeevilll forces that this world isn't ready to handle!" M'arc warns, standing just outside of Wiggles' office.

"Boy, watchu sayin? These things are less evil than a clock in a cyclone!" chuckles Wiggles, making a gesture as though he intends to open the bag.

"Don't do it, young man, I'm warning you right now! I said so, and so did you!" M'arc points right at Wiggles, which seems to confuse him greatly. While he's distracted, Wiggles fails to notice a metallic figure sneak up behind him, before smacking him over the head with the force of five entire ratchets combined. This ratchet-based being grabs the bag of Swimmers and then slips back out through the mail slot, far out of reach of M'arc's scolding words. M'arc tries to find some way to get around the sign, but he hears the thief's footsteps getting farther and farther away, to the point where M'arc is forced to tactically retreat for the time being, making sure not to forget about this.

After some running, the thief stumbles upon a strange horde of chinly men, who all approach at the same time.

"Fum is Chum,.,.,." declares one of the men, named ChumFum, which distracts the thief for long enough that another man, named Yeeboi, can use his sharp chin to slice open the bag of Scandinavian Swimmers. The fish-like candies tumble to the ground and meld together, forming a scarecrow-like being known only by the dark and dreaded name of EBE.

"Ugh, not everybody is a child molester like your dad, you know." says EBE, much to the confusion of everybody in the area. EBE then gets into a foot shaped car and drives off into the horizon, prepared to drive until his fritters are ready to eat.

Meanwhile, a dinosaur named Bappy Bop slides into the Realm by means of worm hole, and announces that she is seeking presents. This announcement immediately causes a red and green flash of light to appear behind her, before a booming voice echoes out.

"Presents? That sounds great! HO HO HO IT'S SANTA CLAUSE!" yells the unnervingly jolly man, holding an unattended child in his iron grip.

"Ah, I see, that delicious child must be my gift, one that I can consume for sustenance." says Bappy Bop, licking her reptilian lips.

"Yes, this is for you for being a good girl all month!" chuckles Santa, before tossing the helpless child right into Bappy Bop's awaiting jaws. Bappy Bop chows down on this delectable feast, burping up a tuft of hair afterwards and thanking Santa Clause for the gift. Santa Clause then disappears, as he has successfully delivered his gift of the hour. Bappy Bop begins stalking around the area looking for more gifts, passing by a deer-like creature with shades named John Doe in the process, though John Doe doesn't acknowledge her at all. Nearby, the thief from earlier arrives in the area, revealing herself as none other than Ratchelina, a being made of five large ratchets taped together. Ratchelina accidentally unscrews a doorknob by turning it too fast, which draws the attention of a dancing man named Cheeky Jeeky.

"Heythereyoumetalthing" says Cheeky Jeeky, talking so fast that Ratchelina can barely understand him.

"BITCH THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU TALKIN' TO?! YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW!" responds Ratchelina angrily, spinning around angrily to "face" Jeeky. Bappy Bop notices this, and asks if Ratchelina has any flesh that can be used to summon more presents, but Ratchelina seems to be too heated to notice the question. However, the Overseer of Bad Twisting did seem to notice the doorknob being unscrewed, and walks over to see to it that the problem is resolved in a quick and efficient manner.