[S]ong of the Ancients
A fragmented soul
Fragment of a soul
Drifting
Advancing
Madness
Rationality
Obsession
Love
Restriction
Freedom
A blessing, and a curse
Prologue – Silence
I feel somewhat relieved.
I wonder, am I dead?
It's over now.
The world has been saved…
… A world that I thought did not matter to me.
Even so, perhaps I was 'happy' during the time I spent with my companion.
That is why I could fight till the end.
The sensation of floating on air
So this is what it feels like to not have a body.
I cannot sense anything anymore, no more pain either.
I am finally at peace.
The man opened his eyes.
There was nothing there.
No one.
What is this place…?
Is this death?
Where is this!?
As death had kissed the man, it would only be natural that his pact be over.
And yet, he could still not speak.
Ah, now I understand… This is Hell.
This is my punishment for having enjoyed war to the point of madness, all to quell my anger and grief for losing all I held dear.
I had given into my murderous impulses, that I should have kept suppressed for my whole life.
I guess that even dying to save the world wasn't enough to atone for my actions…
… Though my intention was not atonement anyway.
I merely wanted to protect the world where I lived with my companion.
I know I am a selfish person.
The man noticed something shining in the space beneath him. He approached the light and looked down. Looking beyond the light, he instinctively realized that the place beyond was the strange world that he and his companion had fallen into during their last battle. Yet, the view had changed drastically. It was too far away to see clearly, but he could assume that much time had passed; hundreds, perhaps even thousands of years. He tried to approach the light, but something like a backwash prevented him from getting any closer.
The man next looked upward. Further away, he could again see a pale source of light. His instincts told him that beyond that light lay the world he originally came from. Again, he tried to approach the light, but was prevented by the mysterious flow surrounding him.
He then realized that his efforts were futile, and silently laughed. His companion was dead. He did not wish to exist in that cruel world without his companion. On top of that, he was dead, so didn't even have a body.
He looked away, further into the depths ahead of him. He could see that there were other 'worlds' around him. He could assume that this place was somewhere in between the worlds; he had probably gotten trapped when his soul floated upwards after his death.
He laughed, even though he could not use his voice.
'Eternal solitude' – that was his punishment. He had wanted to go to the afterlife, where his family and companions were. Or, he had wanted to just disappear altogether; he wanted to forget everything. Life had only given him suffering.
Even now, I am suffering. Existence itself is suffering.
In endless silence, the broken man closed his eyes. He had no strength anymore.
Let me disappear.
Let me sleep.
Until the day I disappear, let me sleep.
Alone, in the dark…
Silence
Silence
Silence
Silence
Silence
Silence
Chapter 1: Punishment
"Caim!"
Someone was crying.
"Caim…"
'Caim'? Who is that…? I feel like I have heard of the name…
What is this suffocating sensation? The feeling of being trapped in something, of being combined with something that isn't me…
… 'Sensation'? Why am I feeling something like that?
I guess it is a dream. Let me return to nothingness.
"No… Please…"
Who are you?
"Who are you?!"
The man opened his eyes. There was a stranger before him – a young woman. Magic was flowing from her hands towards the man's body; it was healing magic.
Looking around, he could see that he was in an unfamiliar forest. He tried to get up and restrain the woman, but he felt immense pain, and could not move anymore.
"Ugh…"
Wait… I can use my voice?
"Are you… Alive…?" The woman asked him, a look of disbelief on her face.
He looked down; he could see that he had a fatal wound on his abdomen, but the wound was starting to heal before his very eyes. The woman was staring at his wound, her eyes wide open in surprise.
Caim – yes, that was his name – unsheathed the sword attached to the belt on his body and checked his reflection in the blade. It was his own face, alright; and yet, the sword wasn't his. He checked his tongue, and could see that his pact mark was gone, too.
"What is going on here…?"
"Caim… Are your memories gone…?" the woman asked him, a look of worry on her face.
… She's suspicious.
He instantly pointed his sword at her.
"Who are you!?"
"…Me? I, I am…"
She seemed surprised, and yet, there was no guardedness in her eyes, even though she could be killed any moment.
"I don't know you. How do you know my name?"
"Caim… It's me, Angelique… We've been traveling together, ever since we ran away from Elisseah, don't you remember…?"
He could not understand at all what she was saying.
Is this woman crazy? But wait… Everything is strange. I'm supposed to be dead. I was trapped in some unknown dimension between worlds. And what is this body? Looks like it's mine, but somehow it feels like it's not mine…
"I have no memories of you," Caim said.
The woman stared at Caim, a look of shock on her face.
"Where am I?" Caim asked.
"We are in a forest near the boundaries of Aiochae."
'Elisseah.' 'Aiochae.' It was true that Caim's memories from before his death were very dim, but he was sure that he had never heard of these place names. The situation was strange, too. This body he was in, he was sure that it had been fatally wounded; that was why the woman called Angelique had been crying. And yet, even taking account that healing magic was being casted on the wound, the speed of recovery had been impossibly fast.
What is happening here?
Caim then realized that he was still pointing his sword at Angelique's throat.
It would be troublesome to have her follow me around; maybe I should just kill her?
Their eyes met. Caim's hand trembled for an instant, and the blade cut slightly into Angelique's skin. A drop of blood trickled down, and yet, her eyes were still full of trust.
What is that look in her eyes?
It could be assumed that her expression was one being shown toward the former inhabitant of this body.
'Former inhabitant…' Yes, that is what it feels like. This body looks like my own, but I still feel like I'm in someone else's body. I feel weird existing here right now, although I can't explain this sensation well.
But to look at such a despicable person with such trusting eyes... I don't know why, but I can't… I can't kill her.
He felt like he had seen the look in her eyes before, sometime far in the past.
He put down his sword.
"I'm supposed to be dead," he muttered.
"What…?"
"I feel like I've entered someone else's body. Well, this body does look like mine, but…"
"You're probably in a state of confusion because you almost died once…"
"It's not something like that!" Caim said in a frustrated voice.
"… Why are you speaking in the Ancient Tongue…?"
"… The Ancient Tongue…?"
"Ever since you woke up… That's why I'm speaking to you in it, too, but…"
"…"
Angelique seemed to be holding back tears, but she quietly started packing her belongings.
"…Don't mind. Let's hurry, before they catch up with us again…"
"'Catch up' with us…?"
"It seems that you really don't remember anything, so I'll explain the situation on the way. Anyways, let's hurry."
Caim knew there was not much he could do in the current situation; all he could do was to follow her for now.
"… Alright."
These were times of war. Three powerful nations – Aiochae, Ciandra, and Neyende, were constantly at war over the rich mines at the center of the continent.
Angelique was formerly the princess of a small kingdom called Elisseah. She was a 'Draconian' – a rare descendant of a human who had used magic to create offspring with a dragon. The person called 'Caim' that she knew was a childhood friend, who had won a royal tournament to choose a warrior to guard Angelique from other countries, as her magic was especially strong even among her kind. He and Angelique had escaped together when Ciandra destroyed Elisseah, and they had been running away ever since, from the nations that were trying to use her powers against her will. Although the two had somehow managed to escape from Ciandra and enter Aiochae, they had been attacked by Ciandran soldiers again; that was when Caim had been fatally wounded.
"I want to escape from this continent somehow… I don't want to be used as a magical weapon…" Angelique explained.
"Can't you just do something about those people chasing you with your magic?"
"If I used High Magic, it would be possible, but such powerful magic would get detected by other countries' mages."
"High Magic…?"
Angelique explained to him what High Magic was, but he couldn't understand. He wondered whether the principles of magic had changed. Or perhaps it was simply that research had uncovered new knowledge of the subject. Or perhaps this was not his former world in the first place.
"I see," Caim answered.
Silence filled their surroundings.
Man's history repeats itself, huh. Well, I knew that.
He took a deep breath.
"Everything you just told me about this world… I have never heard of any of it."
He wondered whether he had really been transported to some other world.
"I… See…" Angelique murmured.
Caim explained to her what had happened in his life, to the best of his memory.
"… You're talking about the Mythical Age…"
"Mythical Age…?"
"I really think you're just confused because you almost died once…" Angelique told him.
However, Caim knew that that was most likely not the case. This era was probably the distant future of the world where he had lived.
He wondered how many years he had spent asleep in the space between the worlds.
I never expected that Hell of a world would last this long… How curious.
"… It's getting dark. Let's take a rest here," Caim suggested.
"You're right… Let's do so."
The two made preparations to sleep for a short while.
"… You're a wonder," his thoughts spilled out in a whisper.
"Did you just say something?" Angelique asked.
"… No, it's nothing."
Just like himself, Angelique had lost her family, her country, and now she had to run away. Yet, unlike himself, he could not feel any raging anger or madness from her; she did look sorrowful from time to time, but that was it.
His memories from before his death were extremely dim, but he could still remember clearly the pain he felt when he lost his family and country. He would never be able to forget that level of pain, however many millenia pass by.
Wait… How exactly did I die? I can't remember clearly…
He remembered that at first he had been trying to protect his sister and get revenge against the Empire, and also that eventually, he had given into his own madness on the battlefield. Yet, he could not remember well what had happened afterwards. Furthermore, he did not have a clue about how he had gotten transported back to his own world.
How much more pain am I supposed to suffer? I've had enough.
… I didn't want to live anymore…
Chapter 2: Pain
It was a dark night. Caim woke to the sound of footsteps.
"Angelique, wake up. Someone's coming."
Angelique hurriedly got up, and the two of them quietly started running away.
A few minutes later, Caim stopped in his tracks.
"… We're surrounded," he muttered.
"What should we do…?" Angelique murmured, her voice trembling slightly.
"I'll take care of it. Wait here. I'll be back in an instant."
How long has it been since his last battle? A thousand years? Ten thousand?
Caim's ice blue eyes glinted with excitement.
The battle began immediately.
Angelique could not hide her shock upon looking at Caim; he was laughing.
"Caim…?"
She could not believe the sight before her. This was not the Caim she knew. Caim - no, a stranger - was slaughtering a soldier still in his teens, laughing. This couldn't possibly be the Caim she knew - a kind person who almost died because he was merciful to a young soldier.
The stench of blood made her feel nauseous.
What should I do…?
"It's over. Let's go," Caim said to Angelique.
"…"
"What's the matter, can't you stand up?"
He stooped down in front of Angelique and looked at her face.
"Are you hurt?" he asked.
She slowly shook her head.
At that moment, their eyes met. For the first time since they had met, she was looking up at Caim with her eyes full of fear. For some reason, he felt uneasy. He had enjoyed the battle, and yet he did not feel relieved.
"… Looks like you're alright. Let's hurry."
He grasped Angelique's arm and helped her stand up.
"You're really… Not the Caim I know," she murmured.
"Looks like you finally believe what I told you," he answered.
Caim, on the other hand, still could not bring himself to believe everything Angelique had told him.
There was no response from Angelique, but Caim knew they had to hurry. He began to walk ahead, supporting Angelique's body.
Ever since she saw Caim in battle, Angelique stopped calling him by his name. For several days, they barely even spoke to each other.
As they continued to travel, Angelique, who had been looking at a map, stopped in her tracks.
"We'll be able to get out of the woods by tomorrow," she told Caim.
"I see."
"It's getting dark, let's take a break here."
"Alright."
They made preparations to sleep for a while.
Caim closed his eyes.
When he had looked at Angelique's map, he had noticed that even the geographical features of the continent had changed slightly.
Exactly how long was I trapped in between the worlds?
He wished he could just never wake up again. He did not want to think anymore, nor feel anymore.
I want to disappear.
A while later, Caim woke up, feeling something was off.
"Angelique…?"
She was gone.
Caim got up in an instant. His surroundings were still dark; not much time could have passed. He felt his heartbeat speed up in nervousness. He could assume that Angelique would have gone in the direction that would lead out of the forest.
He started running as fast as could.
I have to catch up with her, before someone else finds her…
But why? She's a complete stranger… And yet, something inside me is telling me I can't leave her alone.
Run.
Run.
Run.
RUN!
Caim wondered how long he had been running. He heard voices and stopped in his tracks. Being careful so as to not get noticed, he slowly approached the spot where the voices were coming from.
"Ngh…"
"Hey, you're going too far. We're supposed to keep her alive you know?"
"She tried to use magic! I had no choice. Get the ropes, hurry!"
From behind a tree trunk, Caim looked towards the direction the voices were coming from. He saw Angelique lying on the ground, surrounded by soldiers. One of the soldiers had stabbed her shoulder with his sword. He could not comprehend what the soldiers were saying, but instantly understood what was going on.
He felt raging anger burning inside himself. But… Why?
"Who the hell are y- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
Yes, it's this feeling.
… Die.
Die.
Die.
Die.
Die.
Die.
DIE.
"Stop! He's already dead…!"
Angelique's voice brought Caim back to his senses. He looked down to see what seemed like the leader of the soldiers lying dead at his feet. He wondered how many times he had stabbed the man; he had not been counting.
Why am I killing in the first place? … Before I died, it was at first to protect my sister, and for revenge… Then, it was to quell the anger and sorrow inside of me.
He remembered, albeit faintly, that as he repetitively killed on the battlefield, he had eventually given into the mad cravings for murder he had inside of him.
But was that all…? Was there nothing else in my life until I died?
Something was missing, but he could not remember.
He wiped the blood off his blade and turned towards Angelique. She was still looking at him with a look of fear on her face. Perhaps it was because of the look in her eyes, but for some reason, he felt uneasy. He realized that he wanted to 'win back' the look full of trust that he saw in her eyes when he first met her, even though he knew that her trust was in someone else.
"… Keep still. The bleeding will get worse," Caim told her.
He pulled out bandages and some ointment from one of the soldiers' bags and did his best to stop her bleeding.
"… There. I hope this will be okay," he said.
As he moved slightly away, their eyes met again.
I feel… Hurt? But… Why?
He did not know the reason, but the next moment, he was pulling Angelique into his arms. He could feel her trembling slightly, but she did not pull away.
"… In any case, I'm relieved that you're alright…"
He realized that he wished he could stop her trembling, but he knew that he did not have the means. He pulled away slightly and helped Angelique stand up.
"… Why did you decide to go alone without a word to me?" Caim asked.
"You're not the Caim I know… I can't be with you anymore…"
"… Fair enough, but it's too dangerous. Just think of me as a mercenary or something and let me go with you… At least until your wound is healed," he said.
"But we're complete strangers… And I don't have much money on me right now," Angelique said.
"… I won't ask for money. I just won't feel at ease if you were to be caught and used as a magical weapon… That's why," he explained.
"… Alright," Angelique replied.
She seemed reluctant.
Can't blame her.
A few days later, Caim and Angelique managed to exit Aiochae and enter Neyende.
"So this is Neyende…" Caim murmured.
The two decided to spend the night at an inn at a small nearby village.
The moment they entered their room, Angelique sank weakly to the floor.
"Are you alright!?" Caim asked, an unusual hint of alarm in his voice.
"I'm just tired…"
"… How's your shoulder…?"
"I've been regularly using healing magic to heal it, so I think that's made me tired…"
"I think you should rest on the bed," Caim told her.
"… Sorry, I can't stand up right now. I'll go to the bed after I rest a bit here…" she said in a weak voice.
What should I do…?
She still wouldn't make eye contact with him, but he awkwardly put an arm around her. He felt her freeze for a moment, but still, he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. She seemed surprised, but still wouldn't make eye contact with him.
"For now... you should get some sleep," he suggested.
"I guess so…" she replied.
Caim left the bedroom and closed the door.
Why am I feeling so uneasy?
Chapter 3: Escape
For several days after they had entered Neyende, Caim took care of Angelique, who could barely move. Angelique wondered how a man who was so merciless in battle could also be so kind. The gentleness she felt from him when he touched her was just like that of the Caim she knew.
"… I'm okay now," she told him.
"Have you recovered fully?" he asked.
"Yes, probably… Thank you."
For the first time in days, their eyes met. Angelique noticed that he seemed surprised.
"… Is something wrong…?"
Maybe he didn't expect me to thank him…
"… No, nothing. I'm done packing, so let's leave soon."
Caim and Angelique continued their journey, towards the west side of Neyende. They did not talk to each other much, but Caim could feel that Angelique was no longer as guarded towards him as before.
"We're near the capital now," Angelique told him.
"We must be careful then," Caim said.
Angelique nodded and showed Caim the map.
"Once we cross that bridge over there, we'll be able to get on a road with fewer people. We would look more suspicious if we take the overland route, but if we get on a ship to Lyaseh from the port at the end of the road-"
Caim felt they were being followed, and hurriedly put his hand over her mouth.
"Did you feel that?" he said quietly.
Angelique nodded.
"Let's hurry," he said.
At that very moment, Caim realized that they were surrounded by soldiers.
"What should we do…?" Angelique whispered. It seemed that she had noticed, too.
"If there are sorcerers, block their magic. Other than that, I'll take care of everything. Don't get left behind," he told her.
Without waiting for her response, he unsheathed his sword. His heartbeat fastened with excitement at the imminent battle; but for some reason, the pleasure seemed duller than before.
There was no more time to think. They had to escape from this huge army, just the two of them.
But can we really do it?
Caim wondered how much time had passed.
"Is this… All…? Angelique, are you okay?"
"Yes… Somehow… Let's run," she said.
Angelique's eyes suddenly grew wide. However, before Caim could realize the reason, she threw herself behind him.
"Angelique!?"
The captain of the troops, who was just barely still alive, had tried to attack Caim. Angelique had protected him - and had gotten stabbed in his place. Caim instantly killed the man, checked that he was dead, and immediately turned towards Angelique.
Blood was flowing constantly from her wound.
I must do something, or else… She'll…
He tore his own clothes and wrapped them around her body to try and stop the bleeding.
"Why… Why did you… Why…"
"Because… I still feel the Caim I knew… From you," she told him.
"You said you can't be with me anymore…! Are you stupid!?" Caim said.
However, she did not reply to him; she merely smiled slightly and lost consciousness.
Caim ran like a madman, carrying Angelique on his back. He could see the port ahead; just a bit further, and they would be able to get on the ship.
I'll have to say she passed out because she's sick if someone asks… Or else others will get suspicious of us.
Please, don't die…
Caim managed to get on the ship headed for the neighboring country. He laid Angelique down on one of the bunker beds, and tried to get some sleep on the floor. At that moment, an old man on the bed next to them started talking to Caim.
"I am a healer, may I take a look at that young lady?"
Caim glared at him.
"What are you trying to do?" he asked the man in this world's current language. Angelique had taught him some basic expressions, but he still wasn't used to it.
"Ho ho, don't glare so much. It seems you have reasons to stay hidden… Worry not, I'll keep my mouth shut. But more importantly, that girl is going to die before we get to Lyaseh if you don't do something," the man said.
'Die'…? No, I don't want her to die…
"Why do you try to help us? We don't have much money," Caim said.
"I am a healer. Obviously, I would help someone in need when I have the resources," the man replied.
He's telling me to believe that people have that kind of goodness in them?
"Why do you promise us to keep your mouth shut…?" Caim asked.
"Hmm… I wonder why. You don't look like you are trying to do something bad. Also… Your purposes have nothing to do with me," the man answered.
The man took a look at Angelique's wound, made her drink some medicine, then used healing magic on her.
"She'll live now," the man said.
"… Thank you," Caim said awkwardly.
"Well, I'll get some sleep now. You get some rest too," the man told Caim.
"… Alright," he replied.
With one look at Angelique, who seemed to be in somewhat less pain now, he lay down on the floor and closed his eyes.
… If only it were all a dream…
Caim woke up a few hours later.
I never had to feel myself waking up when I was trapped in between the worlds…
He looked at Angelique.
She slowly opened her eyes.
I feel relieved for some reason…
"You're awake… I'm glad…" he said.
"Where are we…?"
"We're in a ship headed for Lyaseh," he told her.
"You… Brought me here…?"
Caim nodded.
"… Thanks," she said.
"Never do something like that again," Caim told her.
"… What?"
"Don't throw your life away!"
"… I just wanted to save you," she told him.
"Don't care about me, you were about to die! If that healer over there didn't save you, you would have…" Caim told her in a low voice, gesturing at the man who had helped them.
"I see… I must thank him…"
"I've thanked him already. Don't get up, you need your rest," he told her.
"I guess so…" Angelique murmured.
She tugged weakly at the hem of Caim's clothes.
"… May I… See your memories…? From before you, er, died…"
"You have that kind of power?"
"Yes… Since I was a child. Although in my case, I have to touch the other person…"
"Why do you want to see my memories?"
"I feel the Caim I know… From you… So I want to… Know you better," she explained.
"… Don't. Nothing good will come from doing something like that," Caim said.
"Why do you think so…?"
"You'll get scared. I can't protect you if you run away," he replied curtly.
"You aren't obliged to protect me," Angelique said.
"… I wouldn't feel good just abandoning you like that. That's why. I'm probably someone who lived in what you called the 'Mythical Age' in the first place… Too much time has passed, and I only have parts of my memory intact. I really can't recall what happened right before I died, for instance," Caim told her.
"Well… I have the ability to awaken lost memories within you, too."
"… I don't want to know. I was most likely a piece of scum," he muttered.
"How can you be so sure?"
"… I don't know."
A moment of silence filled the space between them.
"… I won't run, so please… Show me. I won't blame or judge you," she told him.
Won't blame or judge me? … No way.
Yet, he felt strange feelings within him; he wanted to be both despised and understood at the same time… Although he was sure she would despise him.
"… What should I do?"
"Keep still," Angelique told him.
She placed her hands on Caim's cheeks and pulled his head towards hers. Their foreheads came into contact, and for a moment he could feel her magic. His heartbeat grew faster, but it felt different from when he was fighting in battle. He closed his eyes.
I feel weird…
Chapter 4: Memories
He was kind
He had a beloved family and friends
A small kingdom he loved dearly
Everything was being taken away
Everyone was being killed
No
Please, no
Everything was being broken down
Broken down
Broken down
He himself, was breaking down
What to do with this sadness, this rage?
His heart is overcome with madness
Revenge is his only goal
The only goal of his life
He entered the Union
A difficult life
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts
But no matter how much pain he felt, he had to rise in the ranks
Higher, higher, even higher
Even if it drives him mad
He was breaking down, but he cared not
He had nothing else left
He would not let anyone take away the last of his family
I will never be happy
There was no hope in the first place
Then, I shall curse this world that cursed me and my loved ones
I will get revenge, I will kill them all
Now I can only feel pleasure on the battlefield
I will not let anyone kill my sister
The Empire is coming
Kill. Kill. Kill.
They are coming for the last of my family!
I will get revenge
This is what you get for killing my family, my people
Kill.
KILL.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS FEELS SO GOOD!
He wanted to protect the last of his family
Even if she had to be sacrificed to save the world
It's not like he wanted to protect the world
He wanted his sister to live even if it's just a bit longer
He killed the Empire's soldiers coming to kill her
He enjoyed it
Yes, he enjoyed it
With even his life on the line
On the borderline between life and death
He made a pact with one of his enemies to stay alive
He lost his voice
I hated the Empire's dragons more than anything, and yet…
He rallied comrades to protect his sister, to protect the world
Every single one of them was crazy
But perhaps that is only natural, as the world itself is crazy
One of those he met was a young child
He had enjoyed killing even soldiers younger than himself on the battlefield
Why is he now using his sword to save someone?
The words of his pact partner, whom he used to hate, were echoing constantly in his head
Telling him to learn to wield his sword to save
His pact partner, once his foe, was now his companion
Their time together seemed to heal something broken within him
Just a tiny bit
His companion asked how it felt to save someone
It felt… Strange
Am I feeling… Good…?
Alas, it was all for nothing.
The betrayal of a trusted friend
His sister, dead
The world was dying
The cause of everything was a crazy, laughing girl
He fought to stop the world from ending
His comrades were falling
They had been haunted by their own ugly desires
And yet, now they were dying for the sake of the world
In a world where his sister was dead
A world where the Empire and the Union were no longer relevant
What was he fighting for?
If it were only to enjoy the battle, only to quell his pain,
He would not have been so desperate.
What am I fighting for now?
He then remembered - he wanted to live
That's why he made a pact with his partner
He had tasted happiness at least when he was with her
It was a bond so sane, in the midst of a world gone mad
Perhaps that was why he was now willing to protect this Hell
Perhaps that was why he could now fight for the sake of others, not his own madness
He wondered if he had returned to his old self, just a little
Yet he could not remember much anymore
It felt like a thousand years ago
I will not let the lives of my comrades go to waste
I will not leave the boy I once saved to die
I'm not like that girl who only sought to destroy the world
I'm not like that girl who could do nothing but curse fate till the end
No, I won't be like her
He took off with his partner
They were now in an unknown world
He killed a mad deity
A big bird flew toward them
A moment of pain
Wait
I'm dead
My partner is dead too
Wait
Am I crying?
Ahaha
It's over
The world is saved
Thank you for being with me to the end
Thank you so much
A few minutes later, Angelique took her hands off Caim. Caim slowly opened his eyes and looked at her, but her expression was not one of fear or contempt, but that of deep sadness.
"It must have been so hard for you… I know you shouldn't have broken down, but I understand so well why you did…" she told him.
She placed her hands on his shoulders and pulled him towards herself. Caim could not understand what was happening, but the next moment, her slim arms were holding him in a soft embrace.
For some reason, tears welled up in his eyes.
"I wish I could do something to calm your sorrow and anger… Even if it's just a little," she murmured.
Tears trickled down his face.
"… Sorry for making you worry," Caim said. He pulled slightly away and wiped his tears away.
"Are you crying…?"
"…"
"It's okay to cry… It's a natural thing," she told him.
"… It's nothing like that, I just don't know why I'm crying," he said.
"I see…"
However, what he had told her was a lie. The truth was that he felt immense pain from getting all his memories back. He could not believe he had forgotten so much. He had remembered how he had lost everything he had held dear, and how he had given into his murderous impulses on the battlefield - delusions he had kept completely suppressed throughout childhood. Yet, he had forgotten how a person like himself had saved a boy, had learned to wield his sword to save someone, and had eventually saved the world and died with his pact partner.
I'm sorry… So Sorry. So much time has passed, but still, I can't believe I could possibly have forgotten you… Even though our bond was what drove me to wish to save that mad hell of a world…
Angelus…
"Eugh…"
Angelique's voice brought him back to his senses.
"What's wrong, are you in pain…!?"
"I'm alright…"
Caim sighed. He wondered why he was so worried about this person.
"I know you're not alright. Get some sleep," he told her.
"You're right… I will."
Chapter 5: A Curse
A few days after Caim and Angelique's departure, the ship got attacked.
"Angelique, get up, we must flee."
Caim held her by the wrist and went to the back side of the ship.
"It looks like they're after me… What should we do?"
"They've brought dragons too, we must hurry… Ugh…!"
"Caim…?"
The enemy's arrow had pierced his back. However, he did not flinch; he threw a dagger to kill the archer, forcefully pulled Angelique into his arms, and jumped into the sea.
… Why do I feel so happy to have had her finally call me by my name…?
The waves were high and fierce, but it was convenient for them, as once they were out of sight, the enemy would probably think they were dead… At least for now.
"Relax," Caim told Angelique.
"Caim, I need to heal you… You're bleeding too much…"
She tried to use magic, but Caim gripped her arm to stop her.
"You shouldn't use magic near them! If they find us, we'll both be killed."
A gigantic wave fell on them. Saltwater entered his throat, and he couldn't stop coughing.
"Caim…"
The shore wasn't too far away, but if they took the shortest route, the enemy might find them.
"Let's go that way," Caim told Angelique.
They swam towards the seashore, holding tight to each other in the dark. They never stopped moving forward. They almost got separated several times, but managed to keep going.
They were supposed to be heading toward the shore, but the distance did not seem to be getting any shorter.
This feeling of being in the void, and of not being able to go against the current… This is just like when I was trapped in between the worlds.
But… I'm not alone now. I never knew that not being alone was such a happy thing.
Wait… That's not right, I had just forgotten, but I wasn't alone before I died, either. That's why I was able to fight until the end. That's why I could save this world.
Ever since I had lost my nation and my family, I could never truly trust anyone, so I had always fought by just believing in myself… But I had met someone who taught me the value of a bond between hearts… Someone so precious to me…
I must have lost too much blood…
His field of view grew darker and darker.
"I can't take it anymore… I'm going to stop your bleeding…!" Angelique told him.
"No… Stop…"
She refused to listen and used healing magic on him. He could then feel her movement as she frantically swam towards the beach, pulling on Caim who was on the verge of fainting.
"Don't die… Caim…"
"You're… Calling me by my name…"
"…"
Have we arrived on the beach now…?
Caim couldn't see much as he was about to pass out, but he could feel Angelique somehow stepping forward while supporting his body with all the strength she had.
"Angelique…"
"Don't talk. I can see the ruins of a cottage over there… If we can get there-"
"Leave me… Run away…" Caim told her.
"I don't want to," Angelique said adamantly.
"Why…? The enemy's still nearby… I'd rather… You survive alone… Than have both of us die…"
"Because… I love you," she confessed.
Caim couldn't believe his ears.
His consciousness was fading away.
I don't want to die…
Wait, did I just think that I don't want to die…?
I can't believe it…
I can't…
There's no way…
No way…
Why…?
Why?
…
Caim had a dream. There was another 'Caim' in front of him - the one Angelique knew. He could see his memories. He wondered, if he had lived in peace, could he have been so pure? Could he have been like the other 'Caim,' who had ran away with Angelique to protect her, and almost lost his life protecting her because of his hesitation to kill a young soldier…? Like his innocent other self, who kept his ugly delusions under control for his whole life…?
Wait… What is this déjà vu? He's like... 'Me'... Before everything was taken from me…
… I see.
He finally realized what had happened. His soul had lost a fragment a long time ago. He had subconsciously cut a piece of himself off so as to not believe in others, and that dead fragment had been reincarnating by itself the whole time.
That piece of kindness and reason, which regretted its weakness on the verge of death, had called the rest of his soul back from the space in between worlds, to obtain the life force to avoid death… Seeking life force, like a magnet.
If it hadn't been the power of attraction between parts that were originally one, the attractive force would most likely not have been enough to open a hole in the space between the worlds.
"Now I know… I am you. You are me. We are… One," Caim said.
His other self smiled faintly, then approached Caim and melted into his heart.
Caim felt like he might be crushed to death from the guilt he felt. His conscience, which had become dulled as he fought for years while fueled by negative emotions, seemed to be back to how it had been a long, long time ago.
It's so painful to exist as a whole person… I did know, but now that my soul is back to how it was before it lost a piece, I don't feel like I can live anymore…
He hadn't wanted to be conscious of this.
He hadn't wanted to feel all this.
He hadn't wanted to think about it.
It was just that, the only thing that saved him, the only thing that could quell his pain after he had broken down, was killing on the battlefield. However, it was wrong. He knew it all along; that by cursing the world that had cursed him, he had also become a curse.
Caim woke up.
He was in an unknown room.
"Where is this…?"
"Caim…!"
Angelique's voice…
"Angelique…?"
His vision gradually became clearer, and he could see her face. Her smile recalled memories of the 'Caim' of this era.
She shed tears as she held Caim's hand.
"I'm so glad you're awake…"
"I… I see."
He honestly couldn't rejoice. He wished he could have just died, without ever waking up.
But wait… Didn't I think for a moment before I passed out that I don't want to die…? Why would I think so…?
"Caim…? Are you alright?"
"… I'm fine. You've been using healing magic on me, right…? Aren't you tired?"
"I'm alright," Angelique assured him.
No you're not, your face is pale…
"Where are we?"
"We're in a small village near the coast. I told the villagers that we'd been attacked by pirates, and with their help, I managed to get you here," she explained to him.
"I see… Thank you," Caim said.
He wondered why she would take care of a monster like himself.
He turned his gaze towards the window. It was dark outside.
"It looks like it's quite late… Get some rest," Caim told Angelique.
"… Thanks… I will."
She lay down on the couch by the window and closed her eyes. Caim, also, slowly closed his eyes.
… Existing is so painful. I wish this were all just a dream…
Chapter 6: A Blessing
It was well after midnight when Caim woke up. He looked outside and saw that it was raining heavily. Angelique seemed to still be asleep.
… I must go.
He started to pack his belongings.
"… Caim...?"
Oh no… I woke her up.
"Where are you going?"
"You were right. I shouldn't be with you."
Angelique got up and came next to him.
"What's wrong with you...? This is so sudden," she asked.
"I'm not the Caim you know. You said the same thing before, too," Caim told her.
Silence filled the room.
"...What's going on with you?"
"…"
He turned to leave, but Angelique grabbed him by the wrist. He turned around in an instant and tried to grab her neck, at the moment the tip of his fingers touched her skin, their eyes met.
The look in her eyes was the one he had longed for - the eyes that seemed to say, 'I believe in you.'
He lowered his hand.
"I'm leaving. If you try to follow me...I'll kill you," he threatened her.
I deserve to be hated. I know, now that my soul is back to whole.
However, Angelique was not intimidated at all; she stood in front of Caim to stop him from leaving.
"You're acting weird. What's wrong? Did you have a strange dream or something?" she asked.
Caim sighed and sat down on a nearby chair.
"Actually…"
He explained to her everything that had happened in his dream.
"… Ever since the 'Caim' you know merged with me, I feel like I might just die from the weight of my sins," he told her.
He looked at Angelique's face, and could see she was holding back tears.
"When I saw your memories, I felt that life must have been really hard for you... I could have been like you, too, if I had taken a single wrong step. ... Everyone has times they want to hurt someone else; it is a matter of degree," she told him.
Caim shook his head.
"But you didn't become like me. You're different..."
"I'm not. I've also felt strong hatred and despair, many many times," she told him.
"But still...!"
Angelique continued, despite Caim's efforts to deny her words.
"… And, you saved the world after all that, didn't you? This world we are in now. That is proof that you can wield your sword to save others. My childhood friend's parents named him after you because 'Caim' is the name of a hero who saved the world."
"Wield my sword...to save..."
Something a precious being once told him…
"I'm trying to say… You can start over. Anyone can. So… If you want to live like me, you can. Now that your missing soul has been healed, I am positive," she assured him.
She was right.
She is right, but...
"... You're not wrong... but I still can't believe in myself. I must stay away from you. I told you earlier that I'll kill you, don't you remember?"
"I know you didn't mean it. You wanted me to hate you, didn't you?"
He had not expected her to be able to read his intentions to that extent.
"How can you trust me like that!? I'm a monster. I could go mad again at any moment," he said in a frustrated voice.
Angelique wrapped her hands around his.
"… I can believe that you will be able to not do so anymore. And... I don't think you will, now that you are whole…"
"Still... I'm afraid of... Of hurting you."
"..."
"Besides... You shouldn't be with such a horrible piece of scum. Someone so beautiful like you... You who are running away so desperately because you don't want to be used as a weapon in war... It's absurd for me to be with you," he said.
"I don't think so…"
Caim looked away from her.
"Kill me. I deserve to die," he said.
"Are you telling me that if someone has sinned, they should die!?" Angelique said in a raised voice.
For the first time ever, he saw her angry.
"… I…" he murmured.
"In the first place, you're already dead in your original era! If you're afraid of the possibility of doing the same thing again, then just don't do it. If you're scared of your delusions, you merely need to suppress them as you used to do. If you're still worried, then I can use healing spells on your mind on a regular basis. It works, though gradually…"
"I never knew such magic existed…"
That's a tremendous development…
Faded memories came up in his mind; his old companions. They were miserable people who had been tormented by unending wars and their own madness. If today's magical techniques had been available back then, perhaps they would have been able to get some comfort…
"Caim…? Are you listening?"
"… Sorry, I was lost in thought," he answered.
"I… I see."
"I know you're not wrong, and… I feel somewhat glad that you're saying these things to me. Even so… I don't feel like I can live with… That much guilt on my shoulders," Caim said slowly.
He looked up, and their eyes met. There was no more anger on Angelique's face; only deep sadness.
"You're dead in your original era, and on top of that, this world still exists thanks to you. You did all you can do back then. But… If you still wish to live while bearing the weight of your life back then, then I will bear it with you. I know it's a very, very difficult thing to do… Still, I want to be with you, even if it is mere selfishness on my part. Because… I love you," she told him.
Now I remember… That time, when I thought for a moment that I don't want to die, it was because she told me she loves me.
"… The 'Caim' you know is now one with me, too, for sure… But… He was a reincarnation of a fragment of my soul that I had subconsciously rejected from myself. That piece has now been merged with the rest of 'me,' that was so hopelessly broken, and yet… You still say that you love me…?"
Angelique nodded slowly.
"Yes… As rationality and emotion, and even the mad delusions all people have within… All of that combined makes one person," she told him.
Caim stared at her with a look of disbelief on his face; he was so amazed that he could not say anything.
What is this nostalgic feeling I get from her? … Is this what love is?
... An emotion that I felt in the distant past.
Angelique sank to the floor in front of Caim, as if her legs had lost their strength. As she quietly shed tears, Caim frantically thought about how he could comfort her.
Once upon a time, a being so dear to him had told him to warm her up.
Now I see… The 'love' I felt in the distant past, it must have been…
Yes, I'm sure…
Caim crouched down and wiped Angelique's tears away.
"… Stop crying," he murmured.
He pulled her into his arms as she continued to cry. She was so slender and seemed so fragile; it was a wonder how she had such a strong heart.
I can't leave her and die…
"… You told me that you don't want to be used as a magical weapon, right…?" Caim asked.
Angelique nodded.
"Well… Then, if I can protect you, maybe that could be atonement for me," he told her.
She immediately smiled upon hearing his words.
"So… You will stay with me…?"
"Yes… As long as you want me to," Caim replied.
Angelique put her arms around him.
"Thank you… I know it's hard for you… But still, I'm so happy," she said.
Caim smiled for the first time in a very, very long time.
"You're a wonder… I still don't get why you like me," he said.
"Because… You're 'Caim,'" she said.
"I… I see."
He pulled away slightly and locked eyes with her.
"I don't know since when, but… I… I love you too," he confessed.
"Caim…"
He looked into her eyes - eyes that seemed to silently burn and yet held a gentle light. He kissed her softly.
"Do you… Feel good when I do this to you?" he asked.
Angelique looked at him with a look of surprise on her face.
"… Do you?" he asked again.
She averted her gaze and nodded slowly.
"… I see."
Caim realized that he had subconsciously been holding himself back, thinking that he, with so many sins, should not defile such a beautiful person… While in truth, he desired her so much.
But… If she desires me too, I won't hold back anymore. Even if my hands are tainted, I will use them for Angelique's sake.
Caim kissed her passionately. He then pushed her down to the floor, but she didn't resist.
"Don't you… Feel scared?"
"… I trust you," she told him.
He looked down at her as she looked up to him shyly, her face slightly flushed.
"I see…" he whispered.
The look in her eyes was the very look he had seen on the day they first met; a look that only had trust in them. The look that Caim had longed for.
He kissed her again, this time just gently, so that their lips touched each other.
"Don't regret having fallen for me… I won't let you go," he told her.
"I won't…" she responded.
Caim sat up and pulled her close to him. He kissed her softly on the forehead and hugged her tight.
"I love you…" he said.
"Me too."
Chapter 7: Atonement and Salvation
Caim and Angelique continued their journey.
"We should be able to reach the neighboring continent if we take a ship from the port town beyond this mountain road," Angelique told Caim.
"I see," he replied.
"It's still morning… It would be better if we could get beyond the mountains before it gets too dark."
"I agree. Let's hurry."
As Caim had expected, the mountain road was an arduous one.
He supported Angelique, who had almost tripped over.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes, I just misstepped," she answered.
He held her hand and tried to keep moving forward; but then, he heard a strange sound.
"Wait a moment…"
"Is something wrong?"
"Can you hear that…?"
Footsteps… Of a large group of people.
"Do you think they followed us here all the way from the capital...?" Angelique asked.
"Who knows… In any case, let's get out of here."
It was already getting dark, faster than they had expected. They kept running forward, but all the while, the footsteps came closer and closer. They could even hear the sound of a dragon flying up above.
"Wait, it's a dead end...?"
Caim stopped in his tracks upon hearing Angelique's voice. Ahead of them, there was a precipice with no bottom to be seen. He peered down, but still could see nothing but fog.
He heard a sound from above and looked to the sky to see an enemy dragon flying around.
"Caim... I'm sorry," Angelique murmured.
She pulled out a dagger and tried to stab herself in the heart. Caim immediately grabbed her wrist and seized her weapon.
"What the hell are you doing!?"
"They've even brought dragons with them, and there's nothing we can do now…! I don't want to be used as a weapon…!"
Oh no, they've caught up with us…
Caim drew his sword and cut down the soldiers who came near them.
"You told me to make up for all I've done, and yet you say such things!? Even if you're caught, I'll rescue you and we can make amends together… So live!" he told her.
He fought nonstop.
A dragon's claw dug into his shoulder.
A soldier's arrow pierced his leg.
Still, he kept fighting.
He no longer felt much pleasure from killing, and although he still carried great despair about the world, he was no longer controlled much by it anymore. Even so, he fought mercilessly, just for Angelique. He was wielding his sword to save - only to protect her.
"Caim! Please, stop! You'll die…!"
"No! I want to make you happy… That is the only thing I wish for myself in this life, after having made so many mistakes before my death! So I will do whatever it takes to protect you… Even if I'm told I shouldn't wish for such a thing!"
At that moment, Angelique suddenly pulled him back and hugged him.
"What are you doing!?"
Without a word, Angelique jumped off the cliff, holding him tightly in her arms.
In the mist
The two of them fall
A prince with no kingdom
A princess with no kingdom
The man who bore his sins and saved the world
And the woman who chose to share his destiny
They fall
Together
They fall
Together
"Angelique…"
So this is where I die…
Caim closed his eyes. He had wanted to die so much, so why did he feel so sad now?
I wanted to live with her… That's all.
"I'm sorry… I couldn't protect y-"
At that moment, the sensation of falling suddenly disappeared; yet, he felt no pain.
Am I dead…?
He slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't see much around himself because of the thick fog, but he could see that they were floating in the air.
Looking behind Angelique, his eyes grew wide.
She had dragon wings on her back… Red, red, dragon wings.
"You… Are…"
Angelique gently lowered Caim to the ground. Once she landed too, her wings shone brightly and disappeared.
So this is one of the powers of the Draconians…
Angelique stooped down in front of Caim and tried to use healing magic on him.
"I'm sorry, you must have been scared," she apologized, "I usually don't use this power because it's too noticeable… But I couldn't think of any other way. I hope they'll think we're dead now, or at least lose track of us…"
Caim knew that he had to get treatment as soon as possible, but he couldn't control himself. The next moment, he was holding her in a tight embrace.
"Caim…? Are you okay?"
"… Sorry, it's nothing… I know, you don't remember…"
"… What? I don't know what you're talking about… But first, let me heal you," she said.
Angelique gently stroked his head once, then pulled away a little and began to heal him.
Tears trickled down Caim's face as he looked at her.
I never imagined you would be with me in this life, too…
No matter what the future holds, I shall not fear.
I will fight to the end… With you.
Epilogue: Song of the Ancients
Plains full of blooming wildflowers went on as far as the eye could see.
"We managed to make it alive to the western continent," Caim remarked.
"Yes... I hope we can live quietly for some while," Angelique said.
"I hope so too. We've come so far, I think we'll be alright," he assured her.
He turned towards Angelique; she seemed exhausted.
I can't blame her…
He held her hand and stepped forward.
"Don't worry. I'll be by your side no matter what happens… Always," he promised.
Angelique smiled brightly upon hearing his words.
"Thanks… Let's be together… Forever."
"Yes… Let's do so," Caim answered.
Once upon a time, there was a sad soul
A soul shattered by suffering
The fragmented soul met a lonely soul
They learned to love
One learned to fight to save
The other learned the meaning of hope
They saved the world
They were together until the end
The fragmented soul sank into silence
While its missing fragment gained life
The lonely soul was reborn,
And met the fragment that gained life
The fragment called for the rest of its self
So as to stay alive
The sad soul, now whole,
Desires for the lonely soul once more
To fight on together again
A soul no longer sad
And a soul no longer lonely
"I thank you"
Ancient legend becomes song
The concept of existence, ever unchanging
Reason and emotion, despair and hope
The ancient song goes on forever
"Love" that seeks the existence of the beloved
The light of salvation, everlasting in the darkest of nights
