Trigger Warning: Please note that this story depicts the happenings of 9/11
Picture Prompt #47: A man clinging to the phone "Just come home safe. Please…Just come home safe."
and
Quote Prompt #18: "If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?" — Stephen Levine
What Are You Waiting For
~oOo~
"El? You up yet? Listen. Something's going on at the Trade Center. I was jogging when I saw this explosion. I'm heading down to check things out. See if they need help. Doesn't your buddy work security there?"
The message got cut off. Elliot had enjoyed a rare morning to sleep in after they'd worked a rough case for four days without really getting a break. It had been made even rarer by having the house to himself. He played the message again while scrambling for his cellphone to call Olivia.
Elliot called his buddy after Olivia failed to answer. He gave up after a third attempt at both numbers. He turned the news on and was immediately bombarded by breaking news of an attack. "Holy fucking shit."
One tower had collapsed. The second was smouldering. And his partner had been heading down there.
Fuck.
After checking in with Kathy, who was already making the rounds for their kids, Elliot decided to head into the precinct. It was obviously going to be an all hands on deck day. Olivia still hadn't responded to his calls.
Phone lines were spotty at best. Elliot hadn't been able to reach Cragen either. He figured his best bet was to head to the precinct first.
It was chaos trying to get into Manhattan, even with his badge. They'd shut the bridges to all non-emergency traffic. He'd finally managed to make his way to the 1-6.
The precinct was emptier than it should've been during the mid-morning. Elliot found Cragen shouting on the phone with Munch standing nearby. No one else was in the squadroom.
"What's going on?"
"We're missing my partner and yours." Munch pulled him further away from Cragen, who continued yelling into his phone. "Half the precinct has headed down to help. Have you tried to reach Olivia?"
"She left me a message earlier. She'd seen one of the towers get hit and was heading down to help. Nothing since. I've tried calling her several times." Elliot tried not to think the worst. He spun around when someone shouted from across the room. "What's going on?"
It became clear after a moment that the second tower had fallen. Elliot couldn't keep standing around doing nothing. He started out of the squadroom, only for Cragen to call him back.
"I managed to get a hold of Fin. He saw Liv briefly. She was working with a group of firefighters to help injured victims away from the towers." Cragen grabbed his phone when it rang again. "It's chaos down there right now. If she was in one of the buildings…"
"Come on." Munch grabbed Elliot's arm. "We'll head down. Maybe check in at a few hospitals. Have any friends who are firefighters? Maybe they'll have heard something."
Nodding absently, Elliot followed Munch out of the squadroom. They left Cragen to the phone and trying to coordinate things. He tried to stay hopeful, but his mind kept going to watching the tower collapse live on the news.
How could anyone survive?
Munch grabbed him by the shoulder as they waited for the elevator. "She's going to be fine, Elliot."
"We don't know that." Elliot had no doubts today was going to be one of great loss. There were so many people in those buildings. "We don't know that."
It was eerie, being at the center of the chaos. A choking grey dust covered absolutely everything. The sound of piercing alarms filled the air; it was like the siren call of fallen firefighters.
Elliot closed his eyes for a second, trying not to gag on the dust in the air. "We're not going to find her here."
"Elliot."
"I'm going to check the hospitals. I have to do something." Elliot opened his eyes to stare at the massive debris field where the towers had once stood. "No one's coming out of there alive."
"We'll split up. It'll be faster. Clinics and hospitals. I imagine they're taking survivors anywhere they can fit them in."
At the third hospital, Elliot found himself standing in a bustling corridor with a growing sense of desperation. There were no signs of Olivia. Cell Phones were still not working. He had no idea if Munch had located her.
Elliot cursed his phone when the battery died. He pushed his way through the throngs of people looking for their relatives, hunting for a payphone. He finally found one and fished out change from his pocket. She didn't answer her cell phone, so he tried her home number and wound up leaving a message on her answering machine. "Liv? I need you to call me back. We're getting worried. I'm…worried. Just...call me. Please? I need to know you're safe."
Slamming the phone back on the receiver, Elliot ignored the glares he received from the people around him. He resisted the urge to punch the nearest wall. His mind kept going back to the burning rubble where hundreds, if not thousands, of people had likely lost their lives. Was Olivia one of them?
After running out of hospitals, Elliot decided to head back to the precinct. He had to check in with the captain. He knew if she'd been in the towers, he wasn't going to be able to find her by picking through the rubble. Miracles like that only happened in the movies.
Elliot sat at his desk. It was four in the morning. He was giving Cragen a break. They were running short-handed since so many had gone to ground zero. Where the hell are you, Liv?
Somewhere in the middle of his fourth round of calling Olivia's cell and home phones, hospitals, and Munch, Elliot had fallen asleep at his desk. He'd kept making calls despite having annoyed just about everyone who answered. No one had seen or heard from his partner.
Acrid smoke woke him up. Elliot jolted out of his chair, spinning around in search of Olivia and the fire. It took him a minute to realize it had been a dream.
It was a nightmare.
"You okay, El?"
"I'm fine." Elliot froze in the process of picking up his chair. He pulled himself up, turning to find Olivia standing by the door. "Oh my god."
"El? You okay?" She took a step closer.
In the dim lighting of the squad room, Elliot could see the tears in her clothing. Dried blood mixed with soot and dirt. He didn't see any visible injuries, but she looked like she'd been through war.
Maybe she had.
"Oh my god." Elliot scrambled for his chair when his legs refused to hold him up. He dropped into it like a marionette whose strings had been cut. "Oh my god."
"El? You're starting to scare me."
"I got your message this morning." Elliot leaned forward, covering his face with his hands. He didn't want her to see the tears in his eyes. "I thought…"
"You thought?"
"I thought I'd lost you." Elliot had worked so hard to suppress his feelings for his partner. He heard her footsteps come closer until she'd crouched down in front of him. She reached out to grab him by the wrists and ease his hands away from his face. "I spent all fucking day at hospitals, weaving my way through grieving families. I didn't want to be one of them."
"I'm fine. I got trapped in the back of an ambulance for a little while. But I'm fine. I'm lucky. So many first responders aren't going home tonight." Olivia glanced down at her watch. "Or this morning."
Elliot moved his hands, so he was holding hers. "All I could see was you buried in the rubble. And I couldn't get to you. I couldn't find you."
"It's okay, El. I found you." She got to her feet, letting him continue to hold her hands. "Have you eaten?"
"Nah."
"Let me buy you an early breakfast." Olivia hadn't tried to pull her hand away. She stood in front of him, staring down at him. "El?"
"Life's too short to be fucking miserable."
"It is." Olivia nodded, but she seemed confused.
"It's too short to be miserable." Elliot had spent a lot of time thinking while he'd been racing from one hospital to the next. He surged up out of his chair, sliding his hands up her arms to rest on her shoulders. "It's too short to not be with the woman I love."
"Elliot." Olivia inhaled sharply. She grabbed his forearms. "We can't."
"We aren't. Not yet." He leaned in, wanting desperately to kiss her but knowing he should wait. "But we will."
"Okay." Olivia leaned into his touch when he brought his hand up to brush the hair out of her face. "There was so much loss. I just…wanted someone to hold onto. I just wanted to feel less alone."
Elliot drew her into a hug. He rested his hand on the back of her neck, holding her tightly. "You're not alone. You found your way home. And maybe don't listen to your answering machine. I might've been a little worried."
"A little?"
"I may have filled your answering machine."
"El?"
"I thought I lost you." Elliot was content to stand in the middle of the squadroom with her in his arms for as long as possible. "I might've been vocal about how I didn't want to lose you."
Olivia leaned back. Her brown eyes searched his for a moment. She reached up to cover his hand with hers. "Are we really going to do this?"
"Yep. We're going to do it right. And it's going to be fucking amazing."
The author of this SVU - Quills & Shutters story will be revealed in October
