John
I whip the Rover into a parking space at the station, shutting it off and hopping down as I trot toward the entrance. Despite setting an early alarm, I'm still running a little late.
Sure was worth it, though.
The last couple of days have been a wild ride, to say the least. Realizing that I'm falling hard for Neil is scary, thrilling, exhilarating. Knowing that Neil feels the same for me is utterly mind-blowing. I've fallen hard for people in the past, but it's been mostly one-sided.
I don't know what to do with all of this, but I guess I'll figure it out.
There is still the problem of Roy. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do if he never comes to accept this. Of course, given my history, maybe he's right to be skeptical. Hell, this whole thing could fall apart tomorrow, and then what? I've blown up our friendship and partnership for nothing.
"Morning." Roy's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Good weekend?"
"Yeah, yeah." I answer as I get changed into uniform, not sure how much detail I want to get into. "Got some fishing in yesterday."
"Oh, great." Roy nods. "Catch anything?"
"Nah." I reply. "Got to catch up with Roger, though. Been a while since we've been able to."
"That's good." Roy closes his locker, pausing with his hand on the door. "I talked to Joanne. She wants to meet Neil."
I'm confused. "She knows who he is, right?"
"Right." Roy answers. "I told her. Kids are going to be with her mom next weekend, so she suggested you guys come over then."
I study Roy carefully as I finish changing. "And you agreed to this."
Roy's expression changes slightly, and he shrugs. "Yeah, I did. I don't get what's happening with you two. Not sure Joanne does either. But I guess if you're as serious about him as you say you are…maybe I need to change my thinking a little."
I close my own locker, and we start toward the day room. "You know me. It could all fall apart tomorrow, and then you won't have to worry about it."
"Until the next one."
That gives me pause. "Implying that there might be a next one."
Roy sighs heavily. "I've given up trying to understand you. But I suppose if it could happen with one, it could happen with another."
At least Roy's not completely hostile to the idea now. A small victory, but I'll take it.
We enter the day room for our briefing with the other paramedic team and line up for our briefing with Cap. Chet slides in next to me and Roy. "You guys still fighting?" He asks in a low whisper.
I glance at Roy before turning back to Chet. "I don't think so."
"Thank God." Chet mutters. "Was getting tense there for a minute."
I'm not sure things won't get tense again, especially should I actually bring Neil over to Roy's. What if Joanne doesn't like Neil? What if Neil doesn't like Roy or Joanne?
This could be a complete disaster. Maybe I should just forget it.
Before I can get too far into that line of thinking, the tones go off, and we're off and running. We start out with a couple of minor calls, but finally we catch one that requires follow up at Rampart. Roy rides in with the patient while I take the squad in.
I back in, shutting off the squad and going inside, waving a quick hello to Dixie as I head toward the supply station and pick up a clipboard to start filling it out. Neil spots me and hits me with that little smile I've come to love so much.
"Slow day?" He asks.
"Not really." I answer as I hand him the completed form. "Just nothing that needed follow up until now."
He takes my form with a nod and looks it over, frowning slightly. "Then I suppose you haven't heard about the new restrictions from the board."
Neil had warned me that this was a possibility, but I had hoped the board wouldn't actually follow through. "No, guess I missed that."
"For the record, I tried to argue against them." Neil tells me. "It didn't do any good."
He fills the box with significantly fewer items than I requested, and I'm irritated beyond all reason. "This is stupid. We're just going to end up making more trips in here to resupply."
"Well, start tracking it." Neil replies. "You know how the board loves data. Maybe if they see how much more time it takes out of your shift, they'll change their minds."
"Not counting on it." I grumble, taking the box and tucking it under my arm.
He leans on the half-door. "On the upside, it does mean I get to see more of you."
I can't help smiling at that. "As if you haven't seen enough of me."
He looks me up and down. "I'm not sure I could see enough of you."
Is it possible for someone's whole body to blush? Because I'm pretty sure that's exactly what's happening. "See you later."
I meet up with Roy as he's on his way out of one of the treatment rooms, and he glances at the box under my arm. "Did you get a chance to talk to Neil?"
I mentally kick myself. "No, we got to talking about other stuff and forgot. Did you know they put restrictions on supplies?"
Roy sighs a little. "I'd heard they were talking about it. Didn't know they followed through."
"Well, they have." I tell him as we climb back into the squad. "It's stupid. We're just gonna end up making twice as many trips to Rampart. It's a big fat waste of time. I can't believe they're so fucking dumb."
Roy gives me a sideways glance. "You're really whipped up about this."
"Well, yeah." I continue. "Aren't you?"
"I agree, it's ridiculous." Roy nods. "I suppose we'll have to start keeping track of all the times we have to run into Rampart to resupply."
That causes me to stop for a moment. "That's what Neil said, too. See? You guys agree on something."
Roy merely rolls his eyes as he backs the squad into the bay. "It's not that I have anything against the guy. He seems perfectly nice."
I shift so that I'm facing Roy. "So, what's the problem?"
Roy looks thoughtful, frowning slightly. "It's the whole idea, I guess. Can't wrap my head around it."
I want to tell Roy how it felt for me at first, realizing that my attractions weren't limited to women. But I'm not sure he wants to know, and I don't know how to explain it in a way that won't freak him out more than he already is. "You know, it's not like I chose to be like this. I just am."
"But you could quit, you know, being with men if you wanted to."
"I could, probably." I answer carefully. "But I wouldn't do it just to, you know, make people happy."
Roy nods at that, and I can tell he's thinking hard about it. What conclusion he might reach is a mystery to me. Finally, he shakes his head. "I still don't know how I'd explain it to the kids."
I huff and shift in my seat again. "It's not that hard, Roy. Uncle Johnny had a girlfriend, now he has a boyfriend."
Roy visibly winces at that. "I don't know that I would put it quite that way."
"Well, how the hell else are you gonna put it?" I challenge him.
"Johnny, I don't know." Roy answers with an exasperated tone. "Can we please stop talking about this?"
Well, that victory was short-lived. "Sure, Roy."
The tones go off before we can get out of the squad, and we're off again, and this time we're back at Rampart. I grab a clipboard and start filling it out. "That's twice already today, Neil."
"Noted." He responds with a brief laugh. "Are you keeping track, too?"
"You bet your ass I am." I tell him as I hand him the form. "You thought I was a thorn in your side? Believe me, I'll be an even bigger thorn in the board's."
"You and everyone else." He replies. "Everyone's complaining."
"Good." I nod in response. "Maybe if enough of us do, the board will back off."
"There is power in numbers." Neil responds. "And believe me, I've been telling all the guys to keep track of their supply runs. I'm on your side in this. I'll do whatever I can to help. It's just that my hands are tied, too."
"I know." I lean on the half-door while Neil fills the box. "Hey, guess what?"
"What?"
"Joanne wants to meet you."
"Who?"
"Roy's wife." I explain. "So, I guess we're invited over the next weekend we have off, if you're up for it."
Neil frowns a little as he sets the box down. "I thought he didn't want you around the kids?"
"Kids aren't going to be there." I tell him. "Baby steps, I guess."
"Indeed." Neil nods as he sets down the box. "Okay, I think I'll be off, so let me know and I'll be there."
Neil's hands are still on the box, and I reach for it, covering his hands with my own. "You're sure."
"Yes, I'm sure." Neil smiles a little. "It'll be fine. I'll be my most charming self and she won't be able to resist me."
I have little doubt of that. He's already charmed the hell out of me.
"Johnny." Roy's voice catches my attention. "Got another call."
"See you later." I tell Neil as I pick up the box and hurry to catch up with Roy.
He gives me a sideways glance. "So?"
"He's coming." I answer. "Actually seems to be looking forward to it."
"Good." Roy looks a little unsure. "I'll let Joanne know."
"Great." I'm suddenly a little unsure myself, those worries from earlier cropping up again.
Maybe I'm freaking out for nothing. I hope so.
Neil
I hear the door open just as I finish getting ready, and I hear John muttering to himself. He's been on edge ever since he invited me to meet his partner's wife, far more so than I've been.
I'm used to not being accepted by people. John, on the other hand, seems deeply invested in how this turns out, and despite my repeated assurances, can't seem to stop worrying about it.
Now that the day has actually arrived, I have to admit I'm a little worried myself. Not so much about how meeting Roy and Joanne will go, but how John will act the whole time.
I settle myself before heading out to the living room, and I spot John pacing the floor, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He jumps when I approach from behind and squeeze his shoulders.
"Jesus." He huffs. "Hi."
"Hi." I can't help but laugh a little. "Ready?"
He takes in a deep breath and exhales forcefully. "I guess."
I tilt my chin up to kiss him lightly, taking his hands in mine. "Would you please relax? You're more worried about this than I am."
"I just want them to like you." John responds. "And I want you to like them. That's all."
"And I want you to not freak out the entire time." I tell him firmly. "Just let things be, okay? It'll be fine."
John looks unconvinced. "Okay."
It's a somewhat long drive, and the closer we get, the more agitated John seems. That nervous energy is evident once again as he pulls into the driveway of a simple ranch-style house, shutting off the vehicle and turning toward me. "It's not too late to back out."
"Yes, it is." I answer with a laugh as I lean in to give him a quick kiss. "Don't be silly. Everything's going to be fine."
John seems to settle down ever so slightly, though his expression is still serious. "You mind doing that one more time? Gonna be a while before you can again."
"I don't mind at all." I reply quietly, leaning in and kissing him a little longer this time.
I hear John sigh softly, and I can almost feel some of that nervous energy leave him. We break apart and he finally has a hint of a smile on his face as he strokes my cheek with his thumb. "Okay. Whenever you're ready."
We climb down and approach the front door, and John turns the handle, pushing it open. "Hello?"
"Johnny!" A dark-haired woman greets us, hugging John tightly before turning to me. "And you must be Neil."
"Yes." I nod and extend a hand. "It's very nice to meet you."
She takes my hand and covers it with hers, giving me a warm smile. "It's nice to meet you, too. Come on in. Roy's out back."
John gives me a little sideways glance and a slight smile as we follow Joanne through the house out to the back yard. He seems relieved now that we're over the first hurdle.
"Roy." Joanne calls out. "Look who's here."
Roy turns from his place at the grill, greeting us both with a nod and a slight smile. "Johnny, good to see you. Hi, Neil."
"Hello, Roy." Things do feel a bit awkward, I must admit. "Lovely place you have here."
Roy chuckles at that. "Most of this is Joanne's doing."
"I just have the ideas." Joanne counters. "Roy and Johnny do most of the work."
"Neil's actually renovating his house." Johnny breaks in.
"I certainly don't envy you." Joanne laughs. "When we bought this house, we did nothing but work on it for the first, what, two or three years we were here?"
"Feels like longer." Roy replies dryly.
Joanne merely scoffs, lightly swatting Roy on the arm. "Neil, why don't you tell me all about it while we get some drinks together? We'll leave these two to do whatever it is they do."
I'm grateful for the reprieve from trying to make small talk with Roy and follow Joanne to the kitchen as she busies herself. "So, tell me about this house of yours."
"Well, I bought this little Arts and Crafts style house a few months ago, not long before I started at Rampart." I begin. "The previous owners had let it go for some time, and it needed a lot of work. But I enjoy that sort of thing, so it's been a nice little project."
I leave out the part about how I threw myself into it after a bad break up. I figure Joanne isn't quite ready for that.
"Oh, that sounds lovely." Joanne tells me. "You see, Roy and I got married not long after he got out of the service. Before we knew it, our first child was on the way, and we needed something in a bit of a hurry. Roy didn't want our first child to grow up in an apartment."
"It's a beautiful house." I respond.
"Oh, thank you." She replies. "But it just doesn't have that same sense of character, does it?"
"Character just means 'needs a ton of work'." I laugh. "I've been there for six months and was living in renovation hell for the first four months. John and I just now got the painting finished."
Joanne regards me curiously, as if she has a question she isn't sure how to ask. She seems to decide against asking, nodding instead. "Johnny does love to do that sort of thing. If he ever gives up that apartment and buys a house, he'll have no problem keeping it up."
She hands me a pair of drinks. "That is, unless you two decide to…oh, never mind. I'm being silly."
"Not at all." I'm pleasantly surprised at her attitude.
Joanne and I start back outside, where Johnny is talking Roy's ear off while Roy nods along. I approach him and lightly touch his arm with the cold bottle, startling him.
He recovers with a quick half-smile as I hand him the drink. "Oh, hey. Thanks. Me and Roy were just talking about your house and all the stuff you've been doing to it."
"It's been quite a project." I admit.
Roy looks amused as he takes the burgers off the grill and places them on a waiting plate. "I can imagine. We didn't need to do much renovation here, but it sure needed a lot of repairs. Explains how we got it for so cheap."
"The neighborhood is wonderful, though." Joanne breaks in as we move toward the table on the patio. "Couldn't choose a better one to raise a family."
John's talked about both of Roy's kids. "So not just the one child, then?" I ask.
"Two." Roy replies. "A boy and a girl."
"They would have been here, but my mother took them for the weekend." Joanne explains. "Perhaps you can come over some time when they're here."
John looks as if he's about to say something, while Roy gives Joanne a sideways glance. I quell John with a hand on his knee under the table. "Well, if such a time comes, I'd be delighted to meet them."
An awkward silence falls over the table as we dish up and start eating, only broken when Joanne once again starts asking me about the house. I'm more than happy to make conversation about that, and we end up trading tips with each other.
John, for his part, has finally seemed to relax a little, resting his arm along the back of my chair while we talk. Roy looks vaguely uncomfortable but doesn't say anything.
I almost wish he would, but I don't have any desire for a confrontation, not when things seem to be going relatively well.
Eventually, Joanne rises and starts to clear the table, and I rise along with her. "Would you like a hand?"
"Oh, you don't have to." Joanne assures me. "You're our guest."
"I don't mind." I assure her in return.
"Well, if you insist." Joanne tells me. "I'd love to continue our conversation. I have so much to ask you about."
John looks mildly horrified, and Joanne just laughs. "I meant about his house. Honestly, Johnny."
I pick up some of the dishes and follow Joanne back to the kitchen, and we start working to put away leftovers and start dish water. "I'm terribly sorry." She tells me. "I didn't mean to make assumptions."
"Assumptions about what?"
"You and Johnny." Joanne replies. "Roy was a bit vague when he was talking about having you over."
"Oh." I feel my face heat up a bit as I start washing. "Well, we are…spending a good deal of time together."
My words are met with silence until Joanne breaks it. "You know, we've met more than a few of Johnny's girlfriends. He's always so enamored with them."
I concentrate on the dishes in the sink, scrubbing each one in turn before setting them in the rinse sink. Suddenly I feel Joanne nudge me. "If you don't mind me saying so, he seems just as enamored with you as he has with any girlfriend he's had."
I breathe a little sigh of relief. "Well, I suppose I'm quite enamored with him as well."
Joanne smiles broadly at that. "It shows."
I turn that over in my mind for a moment. "Is this going to be a problem? I don't want to cause any problems for him and Roy."
Joanne scoffs. "Roy will get used to it in time. Please don't let that come between you and Johnny. Besides, I think you're lovely, so you'd better just keep coming over here with him."
I can't help laughing at that. If nothing else comes out of today, I believe I've made a new friend in Joanne.
The rest of the afternoon passes most enjoyably, and even Roy seems to relax by the time John and I are ready to leave. Joanne hugs us both, while Roy extends a hand, and I extend mine in return. "It was good to get to know you a little outside of that supply room, Neil."
"Indeed." I answer.
"And if I ever need more decorating advice, I know exactly who to ask." Joanne tells me. "It was wonderful to meet you."
"I enjoyed it, thank you so much." I respond.
Joanne turns and hugs Johnny, saying something to him that makes him smile and blush a little before he nods to Roy, and we're soon back in Johnny's Rover heading back to my house.
He pulls into my driveway and shuts off the Rover, letting out a sigh. "Well, that went a lot better than I thought it would."
I reach over and take his hand. "I told you, didn't I?"
John smiles at that, his fingers curling around my hand, his thumb stroking my knuckles. "Yeah, you did. Should have believed you."
"It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me." John tells me quietly. "Didn't know what I was gonna do if they didn't like you. Not that I would have given you up for them but—"
I lean over, cutting him off with a kiss. "I'm not going to give you up for anyone, either."
John seems surprised. "You mean that?"
"Yes." I tell him firmly.
"What about your friends?" John asks, that note of concern in his voice.
"They will learn to deal with it." I reply. "Because, well, it seems I'm falling in love with you, too."
John's face slowly changes to that lopsided smile. "You don't say."
"I do say." I respond with a laugh.
"Huh." That smile never leaves John's face, his thumb still stroking the back of my hand. "Don't think anyone's said that to me before."
I find that hard to believe, but I set that thought aside. "I suggest you get used to hearing it."
"Hmm. Might have to hear it a few more times before I believe it." He tells me casually.
I release his hand and lean in to kiss him hard, and before I know it, we're practically making out in the Rover. "We'd better take this inside. No telling how nosy the neighbors might be."
John makes a little 'hmph' noise, but pulls back, and we both climb down from the Rover to go inside. As soon as I close the door behind me, we're all over each other, finding our way to the bedroom and tangling up with each other. It isn't merely physical now, but an expression of our feelings for each other, and it makes it all the better.
Afterward, John moves closer, wrapping an arm around me and throwing one leg over mine with a contented sigh. "I could get used to this." He tells me.
"Mm-hmm." I respond, resting my hand on his arm. "Me too."
Falling for this man was the last thing I expected when he had first driven me so crazy in those early days. But one thing I have learned from spending time with John is to let go of anything resembling expectations.
So far, it seems to be working out. And who knows? Maybe it will continue to do so, despite all the forces against us.
I'm willing to keep going and find out. From the sounds of it, John is, too. And as long as we've got each other, I suppose everything else will work itself out.
