Jennie

Oh. My. God. What is that noise? WHAT IS THAT NOISE??

It feels like someone is screaming in my ear with a bullhorn. I let out a groan, roll over, and pull the covers up over my head in an effort to stop it from exploding.

Sweet Jesus what did I do last night?

"JENNIE! For fuck's sake shut your alarm clock off!"

The yelling from Doyeon on the other side of my door makes me cringe. I pull the covers down just far enough so I can squint at my alarm clock.

Sure enough, the sound that's threatening to make my ears bleed is coming from that little bastard on our dresser across the room.

The repetitive flash of the time, its bright red numbers, and the staccato beeping on that thing makes me think its judging me. I can hear it— tequila, shots, vodka, karaoke, you're an idiot.

"Lisa," I mumble.

Jesus, my voice sounds like I swallowed a bucket full of gravel. It feels that way too.

"Lisa," I groan again. "Shut off the alarm clock."

With my squinty eye, I turn my head as slowly as possible and see the spot next to me in bed is empty.

"Shit."

I stick my arm out from under my cocoon and grab the first thing my fingers touch on my nightstand—a vibrator with a leash on it. It's a sad, sad day when something like this doesn't faze me. I whip it across the room and watch the giant pink rubber penis and its diamond-studded leash crash into the alarm clock and effectively shut it up.

Small bursts of memories from last night flash through my addled brain and make me wish I can have a lobotomy.

Did I sing "Like a Virgin" at a winery? And why am I not wearing any underwear?

With my eyes squeezed shut so the bright rays of sun shining through the window don't light them on fire, I stumble out of bed and throw on a pair of yoga pants that are crumpled on the floor. I slowly make my way out of the bedroom and into the living room.

"Yo, Jennie Bear! You're alive!" Sehun shouts from his spot on the couch as I peel my eyes open and gave him the finger for being so cheerful and not hung-over.

How is that possible? He drank way more than me. I think. And why is he in our living room? I'm going to start charging this asshole rent.

I stare at the annoying smile on Sehun's face and another memory from last night assaults me as I walk up to the kitchen table and pull out a chair.

"Why do I remember you peeing somewhere in this house?" I ask with my gravelly voice that I hope is just from yelling and singing and not from puking somewhere I can't recall.

"Did you pee on this chair?" I ask angrily as my ass hovers above the seat cushion.

"Yes, he peed in that chair," Doyeon answers as she emerges from the laundry room off of the kitchen.

"Fuck, it's like we have a puppy," I mutter as I move to take a seat at one of the bar stools by the island instead.

"I didn't pee that bad on it," Sehun complains as he walks into the kitchen and makes a show of looking really hard at the chair in question.

"There is no GOOD level of pee on a chair, Sehun!" I yell as I take the glass of water and aspirin Doyeon had set down on the counter in front of me. I throw the pills in my mouth and chug the entire glass of water.

I hear the faint sound of music coming from somewhere and realize my purse is singing the theme song from "Golden Girls". Doyeon and Sehun start cracking up behind me as I reach to the end of the island and grab my purse, realizing by their snickers that one of them must have changed my ring tone.

I dig through my purse trying to find the damn phone before that fucking song is stuck in my head all day.

"…..traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true; you're a pal and a confidant…"

My hand finally wraps around the offending cell phone and I quickly hit the send button to stop the song before I even get it out of my purse.

"Hello?" I turn around to glare at Doyeon and Sehun, mouthing the words "What the fuck?" to them silently as I answer the phone. That just causes them to laugh even harder.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be awake yet after last night."

The sound of Lisa's voice makes me forget that my so-called friends put some stupid ass song on my phone that I won't be able to stop humming now.

"Did we have sex last night?" I ask, having no shame whatsoever in the fact that I don't remember. Generally, I like to know why I wake up with no pants or underwear on. It's just a little quirk I have.

"Are you referring to before or after we got home?" she asks.

"Uh, both?"

Lisa sighs. "I don't think you're awake or sober enough to discuss the sex we had before we got home. After…well, I do believe sex was the general idea until I got your clothes off and you puked on me."

"Ooooh, sorry about that," I apologize sheepishly.

"It's my fault. I should have never introduced you to Sehun," she replies jokingly.

"He peed on our chair," I complain, giving Sehun the two-finger eye salute.

"You puked on my dick," Lisa deadpans.

"Fine, you win," I say with a sigh. "So where are you?"

"DUDE! LET ME TELL HER ABOUT THE BACK DOOR ACTION ON THE BUS!" Sehun yells into the phone as he comes up next to me.

I turn to look at Sehun with a horrified look on my face.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him. "Lisa, what the fuck is he talking about?" I screech into the phone. "Oh Jesus. Did I let you…did we…OH MY GOD WE DID THAT ON A BUS SURROUNDED BY OUR FRIENDS?"

The laughter comes from all around me now. Doyeon bends over so far in hysterics that she's fallen on the floor; Sehun wipes tears out of his eyes as he leans against the counter, and Lisa was snorting on the other end of the phone.

"No! No, it's not what you're thinking. Even though you begged me repeatedly saying, 'Come on just stick it in my ass!' I figured that was not a decision you were making with one hundred percent clarity. Tell me you at least remember being in the bathroom with me," Lisa begs.

I put my elbows up on the counter and lean my head against one hand, closing my eyes to try and conjure up the bathroom rendezvous Lisa speaks of.

Everyone piles back on the bus after the third winery, a little louder and a lot drunker. Lisa slumps onto the leather bench, pulling me down next to her until I am practically sprawled on top of her with my chest resting against her. She holds my face in both of her hands, and as the bus starts moving and our friends start yelling and goofing off in the front of the vehicle, she leans in and kissed me. Her tongue slowly pushes past my lips and sweeps through my mouth causing butterflies to erupt in the pit of my stomach and warmth to spread between my legs. After a few minutes she pulls her mouth away from mine, and I let out a groan at the loss.

"You wanna go in the bathroom?" Lisa asks with a wag of her eyebrows.

"No. I don't have to pee right now," I tell her as I leaned toward her so I can kiss her again. She tastes so yummy, like wine and sunshine and kittens.

"I'm not talking about going to the bathroom to GO to the bathroom. I'm talking about going to the bathroom so I can stick it to you," she says with a snort and a laugh.

"You're so romantic. Say it again," I tell her as I bat my eyelashes at her.

Lisa looks over my shoulder and then back down at me.

"Seriously. No one is looking. We could sneak into the bathroom and no one would even know. I'll make it quick."

"No really, keep going. This is totally turning me on," I tell her in a monotone voice.

Lisa pulls my face back toward her and our lips crash together. Her tongue skates over my bottom lip before plunging back into my mouth. The pain of the week-long exiles while we work opposite shifts have become glaringly obvious as we deepened the kiss, and I practically crawl onto her lap.

Lisa's hand slides down the side of my body, brushing over one breast and curving over my hip to clutch my ass and pull me closer to her. She moves her mouth away from my lips and starts planting warm, wet, open-mouthed kisses along my neck and collarbone until I feel like I'll melt into a puddle of goo on the floor of the bus. She gently grazes the side of my neck with her teeth and slides her tongue over the spot. I'm panting like a dog at this point and know I won't make it much longer. If she keeps this up, I'm going to throw her down on the seat and bang her in front of everyone.

"Okay, fine. You win. Bathroom. Now," I mumble through my drunken, lust-induced haze.

We stand up quickly and stumble our way to the tiny bathroom directly across from us. I vaguely hear one of the girls shout, "NO, no, no! I have to pee!" before we slam the door closed and fumble with the sliding lock. The bathroom is about the size of an airplane bathroom so maneuverability is nil. Lisa's body is pressed up against my back and she begins kissing and sucking on the back of my neck as I try in vain to get the stupid lock to slide closed.

"I can't get the fucking door to lock!" I complain through moans of pleasure as she brings her hands around my waist and slides them up my body until they cup both of my breasts.

"Fuck it. I think it locks automatically anyway. That slide thing is just for the little sign on the outside that switches to 'occupied' or some shit. Everyone already knows we're in here," Lisa says as she starts massaging my breasts.

We turn as one so I can rest my hands on the edge of the sink and Lisa can lift my skirt. A quick breaking of the bus makes me jerk forward and slam my shoulder into the wall above the sink.

"Son of a bitch!" I yell. "This is going to be dangerous."

I giggle as Lisa slides her hands back down my sides and grazes over a particularly ticklish spot.

"You're not supposed to be laughing. This is supposed to be awesome and hot," she states as her hands slide down my thighs and then immediately back up, pushing my skirt up to my hips as she went.

"Oh believe me, it's totally hot," I say with another giggle as the bus takes off and we fall backwards. Lisa falls on top of the toilet, and I landed on her lap with an "oooomph".

"Okay, this might not have been one of our best ideas," I say with a laugh as I try to get up but the bus takes a curve and we both crash our shoulders into the wall on the left right beneath the little bathroom window.

"Dammit! We WILL have sex in this thing if it kills us," Lisa states as she pushes me off of her lap and stands back up behind me.

"Lisa, I think this IS going to kill us. My dad is going to have to tell his friends that his daughter died in a limo bus bathroom with her skirt up around her hips. That is not okay!"

The bus straightens and maintains a steady, non-deadly speed and a quick glance out of the window shows us that we were on a long stretch of highway.

"Are you sure no one can see us in here?" I ask in a panic as I feel Lisa's hands slide up the back of my thighs and then pull my underwear down a few inches.

I hear her zipper open and fabric rustling and before I can think of any other reasons why this isn't such a great idea, one of her hands slide around to the front, between my legs, and her fingers slide through my wetness. I had been aching with need for her since she first put her hand on my bare thigh in the car earlier. Having her touch me like this, for the first time in a week, makes me throw all rationale out the window - where I am pretty certain no one could see us.

"No one can see us," she whispers against my neck, practically reading my mind as two of her fingers plunge inside of me, and she slides her smooth, hardness between the cheeks of my ass. "The window in here is made of special glass. When you shut the door, it hits a trigger so we can see out, but no one can see in. Jim told me about it earlier."

She continues to slide her fingers in and out of me in a slow, tortuous fashion and like she wasn't just talking about the sexual safety features on the bus.

"Holy hell," I moan as she pulls her two fingers up to circle my clit.

I think I hear horns honking and shouts coming from outside but at that point I don't really care if we are stopped in a rest area and people are eating popcorn while staring in the window.

"Fuck, I need you," I tell her as I let go of the sink with one hand and reach back to grab onto her hip and pull her harder against me. "You should TOTALLY give me 'nother baby," I murmur drunkenly.

Lisa laughs as she pulls a condom out of the back pocket of her jeans and rips open the foil with her teeth.

"I'm pretty sure you don't really mean that," she says as I feel her hands graze my ass while she sheathes herself.

"Who cares if I mean it? The wine and vodka mean it. And they are ALWAYS serious. Give me your seeeeeeed."

I snort and blink my eyes a few times to get the room to stop spinning.

Lisa places both of her hands on my hips and I feel the tip of her penis at my opening. I let out a loud moan and Lisa quickly reaches up and puts her hand over my mouth with a laugh.

"Not so loud, baby. Everyone will hear you."

I pull Lisa's hand off of my mouth long enough to spout even more nonsense as she slowly pushes herself inside me.

"You should stick it in my ass."

"I am not going to stick it in your ass," Lisa says with a muted groan as she moves a little deeper.

"Come on, you know you want to stick it in my ass," I goad her loudly.

Her hand comes back up to cover my mouth and my laughter turns into a pleasure-filled whimper as she pushes all the way inside me and holds herself still.

"You should know that as a human, I am pre-programmed to always want to stick it in your ass. I hope tomorrow you will appreciate my self control," Lisa explains as she slowly starts moving inside me.

"If you knock on my backdoor right now, I will totally let you in," I giggle.

Lisa stops again and takes a couple of deep calming breaths.

"Careful back there, though, there's a rickety step. Don't fall in my backdoor."

Lisa tries not to laugh as she begins thrusting harder, forcing my hips to bump against the edge of the sink. Thoughts of sperm and the porch by my backdoor flow out of my mind.

"Fuck, why did you have to start talking about sticking it in your ass? I'm not going to be able to last long," she complains as she tries to slow down.

"Just shut up and keep going. I'm too drunk to care right now, and you should appreciate that shit!" I yell around her hand that's still held against my mouth.

The faint sounds of horns honking still make their way into my brain as she curses and moves faster against me, her orgasm barreling through her like a freight train.

Her hand drops from my mouth and she braces her arms on either side of mine on the edge of the sink as she buries her head in the side of my neck. She comes with a muffled shout and I grip the sink tighter so we won't topple over.

We stood there breathing heavy for a few minutes before she pulls herself out of me and we right our clothes. She gives me a quick kiss and promises me five of my very own orgasms in repayment before we open the door and walk out into the aisle of the bus.

All of our friends are standing there cheering and clapping, and it was then that we noticed the bus was stopped and a police officer was standing behind them with her arms crossed in front of her.

"Oh my God, we got arrested?" I ask Lisa.

Why the fuck don't I remember going to jail? Was I somebody's bitch now?

"No," she laughs. "We just got a ticket for indecent exposure. Turns out Jim didn't explain the bathroom door situation clearly. That little lever you were trying to slide over? THAT'S what blacks out the window so no one can see in. Oops."

Sehun starts laughing and I noticed that he inches close enough to me so he can put his ear right next to mine and hear Lisa's end of the conversation I shove him away when I realize that's what he was doing.

"Ha ha get it, Jennie? Back door action? I was talking about the bathroom door. Or was I talking about you shouting for Lisa to fuck you in the ass over and over? Hmmm, I'm not sure. They are equally entertaining to think about," Sehun says with a laugh.

Oh my God. This day can't get any worse.

"So anyway, I was just calling to make sure you were alive. As you can see, everyone ended up crashing at our place since the bus stopped there first. Jim gave Minnie a ride home this morning to take a shower and left Doyeon and Sehun behind to make sure you didn't choke on your own vomit or anything. I'm on my way to pick Gabi up from your dad's and then we're meeting my parents for brunch. There's been a slight change of plans. Instead of them coming to our house, they rented out the small party room at the Oberlin Inn where they're staying. They wanted to invite your dad, Sehun, Minnie, Doyeon, and Jim and they didn't want to impose on us."

I quickly say good-bye to Lisa and kick Doyeon and Sehun out of the house so I can take a shower and start to feel a little more human.

Hopefully, that will be the extent of my embarrassing behavior from last night.