(Santana)

"Hi Santana." I was startled to hear a female voice coming from behind me as I was walking at the Columbia campus. It sounded like Wonder Woman, which I avoided like a plague. It was just Olivia, a colleague from economy classes who's been after me for a while because she wanted to do a paid internship and Weiz was famous for not paying a pittance. She thought that if she stayed on my tail, she'd have an easier time getting into the company in the department she wanted.

"Hey."

I tried to calm down a little from the shock, but I was still cautious. Wonder Woman, who was studying Civil Engineering, had been looking for me to do a few more rounds of our night together. At least Olivia wanted to get something out of me other than my skin.

"I was wondering if you had time to give my resume to Mr. Martin." She was referring to the director of the finance department at Weiz Co.

She didn't even seem to mind the fact that there was internal gossip that the cute interns ended up in Mr. Martin's bed and, sometimes, that of some of the coordinators. Olivia was cute. Not that they were perverts who used the position to force sex on someone. It was a two-way street. Some of the executives (not all because some were really respectable family persons) liked a young pussy or penis. Some of the girls and guys used these weapons to move up in the company. That seemed to be the profile of my college classmate. She was the type who would even fuck a homeless man in a freakshow watched by her own mother if it meant going as far as she wanted. I didn't judge her. Everyone fights with the weapons they have, and the way they choose.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have a chance to meet you in person, and I left your resume in the hands of his secretary." Olivia was disappointed. I would have been too, in a way. But I warned her that this wasn't how people were hired at the company. Apart from exceptional cases like mine, hiring CEO's or positions of trust to work alongside senior executives, job opportunities at Weiz for all kinds of positions were published on the company's website, where interested people applied and there was a selection process carried out by the human resources department. That's why I didn't make any promises, so I had a clear conscience.

"Okay." Her discontent seemed to last only a few seconds. She soon regained her posture. "What about you? What are you doing today?" The tone changed to flirtatious. I wanted to laugh in disbelief.

It was as if Olivia felt she had to encourage me in some way to get her CV directly into the hands of a top executive. If it was just any colleague desperate for a job, I'd try harder to help. But she knows, just like everyone else in that company, that I'm Caleb Weiz's heir. There were ulterior motives there. Unfortunately, I had to be very careful with the people who approached me from now on. I also needed to value the friendship of those who were part of my life even more before the future dollar signs hit my head.

"I have to go. I have an appointment."

"Maybe we can talk after class? I know a very discreet place…"

"Andrew!" I said happily when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking by.

"Hi San!" He shouted in the distance and came closer.

"I thought you'd broken up..."

"We broke up. Sorry, Olivia. I'll talk to you another time."

"What's wrong fox?" I took his arm and we walked off towards the library.

"I didn't manage to do a favor for a colleague the way she wanted, so she thought that if she gave me a vip treat I could work harder."

"Oh!" He slung his arm around my shoulder. An old habit that I didn't mind continuing. "Busy today?"

"As always. Why?"

"Dave is premiering the game he developed today and we'll be the first to try it out." Ah, geek heaven.

"Cool. Too bad I can't go." I wouldn't go anyway. Enjoying playing video games was something completely different from being a fanatic who tested every new toy and spent hours in front of a screen. I had more things to do.

I said goodbye to Andrew in front of the library. I had to go to Weiz Co to work, but halfway there I saw a crowd of students in the center of the square, and there was music. I was curious, and what a surprise when I saw that in the middle of the crowd was Dani. She was together with a guy playing and singing for some coins. This was not uncommon in Columbia, and many of these people also jams in subway stations, Central Park and other squares. I hardly stopped to pay attention. But Dani caught my attention because of her beautiful voice and because she was playing a song I liked. So I stood there and when the song ended, I put five dollars into the guitar case. We exchanged glances. I nodded and she winked at me and smiled. If I didn't have to work, maybe I'd ask her out for coffee. Maybe someday.

I arrived at Weiz after hours. I was very tired, but I still had to follow the development of one of the company's projects. As usual, I was calculating budgets and analyzing market returns. After a fundamental stop at the coffee machine that was inside our department (there was also a scullery maid who could serve it if I wanted, but I preferred the one from the machine because it was stronger), and some buttery biscuits, I checked my cell phone. There were those religious chain messages from Tia Maria that I never opened, photos Shelby sent of Papi and Beth (the family had agreed that Facebook and Instagram were unnecessary exposure, especially because of Rachel after she started her Broadway career), messages from Mercedes, Rachel and Mike. Mike? It was rare to get a message from Mike, because he always called when he wanted to say something. Unless it was a big call. I opened the message.

"Friends, I'll meet you this Friday, the 20th, after 9pm, at the usual bar near my place. I have an important announcement to make and I hope you'll all be there. It's important." – Mike

Oh God, I hope he hasn't got someone pregnant.

...

November 20, 2015

(Rachel)

If you felt it was necessary to gather people together for an announcement, it was because there must be something really important to be said. I don't think doing it in a bar would be appropriate. The atmosphere involves alcohol and noise and inattention. Mike's apartment is too small for any meeting, unless it's for two, three people at the most. A larger space is therefore necessary. The function room in my building is very nice and appropriate. Mike could ask me to book it. It wouldn't even be a problem for commuting, because the East Side was a prime, central area.

Anyway, the meeting was arranged in a bar. I was dying to know what it was all about, and I knew someone whose announcement wasn't a mystery: Quinn. It was predictable because Quinn was considered Mike's best friend, but she would be absolutely useless. Especially since I refused to get back together with her after we slept together on Halloween. Quinn and I spoke on the phone, but she was becoming less and less insistent, which was a relief, in a way.

I went back to concentrating on rehearsing the play. We were at the final stage where we put the fragments aside to start rehearsing the whole thing in sequence until we reached the point of dress rehearsals. I didn't even want to think about it. It was my first leading role in theater, and although I'd always been treated well by the critics, anything could happen in the world of Broadway. Today loved, tomorrow hated. The good thing was that Bowie and the sponsors seemed happy with the progress of the work: everything was on schedule.

Since my workday ended in the middle of the afternoon, unless I had something extra to do, I usually went home and enjoyed the little luxuries of my neighborhood. Living on the East Side was like being in a giant city with transitional suburban characteristics. You could, for example, find all the chain stores, some luxury ones and, just next door, the grocery store. I felt very comfortable walking along the neighborhood's avenues by car or bicycle. That's where I got my nails done and my hair done, bought my organic fruit and vegetables, and got to know the people in the neighborhood, like the guy at the magazine stand, the gentleman who took care of the jazz bar, and even the girl who had a flower shop. This time, I opted to just have my nails done.

"Short this time!" I asked Marla.

"Why?" She looked at me disappointedly. "Your nails are beautiful, Rachel. It's a very elegant nail size."

"Then make them short and elegant."

"All right." She sighed in disappointment and started clipping and grooming while I rested my head on the comfortable armchair and closed my eyes. I liked being attended by Marla, because she would talk if you were up for it, and could follow any subject reasonably well. Otherwise, she soon realized what mood the customer was off, and did her job quietly. "Is that good?" Short nails, but not toenails. Squarer tips.

"Perfect."

"Which nail polish?" Marla showed the nail polish chart. "Plain or worked?"

"Plain. I'm going to try this blue one."

"Nice one." She smiled and continued working. "Same on your feet?" I nodded.

I left the salon with my nails refreshed and ready for the start of what was going to be a promising weekend. I put on a lighter outfit, New York was unrecognizably hot for this time of year, I fixed my hair and took a cab to Midtown to Mike's famous bar. Not that it was his, but it was a decent place close to his apartment and he liked to take a few friends, and especially women, there. I found Quinn at a table talking to Roger Benz. It wasn't so annoying to run into my ex-boss when I was on top.

"Hi." I approached them both. "Good evening." I first extended my hand to greet Roger and then kissed Quinn on the cheek.

"You look great, Lopez. The HBO's air have done wonders."

"I prefer Berry-Lopez." I replied dryly. "Did Mike call to say when he'd be arriving?" I tried not to talk too much to Roger, who stared at me as he drank a shot of whiskey.

"He'll be here soon." Quinn replied. She also had a glass of whisky in front of her, probably courtesy of Roger since she didn't have any money left over to spend on expensive bar drinks. "Roger was telling me about the latest from R&J after Saint Woman flopped."

"The critics didn't think much of it." I pinned.

"Neither did the public." Roger laughed, and it seemed to be at himself. "The box office barely breaks even. We got zero, but it was worth the experience. It showed us that we make less money from the theater, but it's a much safer investment. Quinn told me she'd sold her soul to the devil. Who knew?"

"Roger doesn't like Bad Things." Quinn explained unnecessarily.

"Because it's a successful and growing production company?" I teased.

"They only invest in what is safe. I think there's room for a bit of art even in what's commercial. Maybe it's a theater thing, I don't know. These guys from Bad Things are pragmatic, technically perfect, with a drive for the market, but without art or soul."

"That's why I like you, Roger." Quinn raised her glass. "You've always had room for idealism."

"Except the moment you chose to fire an entire cast." I said it with class and a heavy dose of cynicism. "But there's good that comes of it, and I think I should thank you, Roger. If you hadn't fired me, I wouldn't be at HBO today, in a critically acclaimed series with a renewed second season."

"It's a great series, Lopez." He raised his glass again before wiping it down. "You've won the lottery, and I'm glad you gave it the go-ahead."

"On that note, Roger, thank you very much."

Mike was the next to arrive. Although I was very curious, he insisted that he would wait for the key people in his life to make the announcement. As time passed, the group grew larger. Santana, Johnny, Mike's agent, some work colleagues (some of whom we had in common) came. Even Angela showed up. I had no idea that Mike still had contact with his first girlfriend in New York. She was doing very well, and was currently working on an Broadway play. I was happy to hear that. When Mike thought that all the significant people were there, he stood up with a glass of cognac in hand.

"Well, everyone. I'm honored that all the people who mean the world to me in this city came to my call."

"Of course! It was at a bar!" Josh Solano shouted. "Now speak up before half the people here get too drunk to remember."

"You have a point." Mike pointed at his friend. "I wanted to inform you that this is a farewell party." It was a shock. Santana and I exchanged glances. We were confused. Many were, except Quinn and a few other people, like Mike's agent. "This is a farewell party with the people I love the most, because I'm moving to Los Angeles. I've been getting some job offers and I realized that I'd manage my career better if I were there."

"Why?" I shouted almost in disbelief.

"Well, Rach, you're a Broadway star. I had the chance without really knowing what mine was. I discovered that I feel a thousand times better in front of a camera than in front of an audience. So that's where I belong."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I nudged Quinn. I was still in a daze. She didn't care and continued to pay attention to our friend.

"The thing is, I'm going to be away for most of December and I won't have another good chance to get everyone together. Because you're busy people too and many of you are in business. It took some work to identify this window and bring you together. But I'm so happy to have succeeded. I wanted to talk about each one of you, about how important you were to me. Since I can't, because otherwise I'll cause jealousy, I'll limit myself to talking about four people in particular. Just the ones who pushed me on this journey. The first is Roger, for going to the choir competition and recruiting some young people to audition for a highly risky play. Thank you for putting that blessed card in my hands, because without it, I'd be studying engineering at OSU right now. Then I'd like to thank Rachel and Santana, the most disparate and adorable twins ever. Without them, I wouldn't have stayed in New York to audition or settled in the city. Finally, I'd like to thank Quinn Fabray. Man, I don't even know where to begin." Mike got emotional. "How could the girl who didn't even know I existed at school become my best friend? Quinn was my most important shoulder to lean on when my blood family turned their backs on me because of the choices I made. The twins were there too, and some of you, but Quinn was essential. She was the one I opened up to, she's my best friend and she's the one I feel comfortable saying things to from the inside. Thank you for putting up with me until now, Quinn. I love you, and I really hope you'll continue to put up with me from a distance."

Applause. Quinn stood up and hugged Mike. Strongly, firmly, for a long time, with tears, whispers in his ear and a kiss on the cheek. It was such an affectionate scene between them that I felt a twinge of jealousy. Then Mike was greeted by the rest of us.

"I love you too, you know." I said as I hugged him.

That was the melancholy moment of the night. People started remembering funny stories about Mike. Things that I would classify as embarrassing. Quinn shared at least one that I didn't know about. Apparently, they played some bar games involving women. Santana didn't seem so comfortable, and I could have sworn that Mike's departure had nothing to do with her state of mind. I tried to understand why she was so down.

Santana's problem couldn't have been her job. Rock'n'Pano had a decent track record and things seemed under control at Weiz. Columbia wasn't a problem either. My sister continued to be a very good student as far as possible. Then I noticed Johnny. I got a good look at him shamelessly flirting with a woman in the bar who was outside the group. I wanted to kill him, but for what reason? As far as I knew, he and my sister kissed and then she insulted him. They had no commitments to each other, so Johnny had the right to flirt with whoever he wanted. I think Johnny's anger didn't go away, but I thought better of it and went to my sister's rescue.

"He's an asshole." I surprised my sister while Santana drank a glass of beer.

"Why? He's got nothing on me, Ray. We're just friends, and we have a contract with my company."

"I know, but it's my sacred duty as a sister to put you up even if I don't understand this story properly."

"Maybe it's better if you don't understand." Santana finished her beer. She intended to get another, but I stopped her.

"You've had enough and Mike's done his social farewell. Shall we go home?"

"Wouldn't that spoil your plans to maybe get casually involved with the icy blonde?"

"I don't have any plans after this. Least of all with her." I said firmly. "Today my plan is to get home after a night out, and help look after my sister who needs a lap."

"Let's just say that maybe I'll accept..."

"Santy... it's me... I know that sometimes you hate telling people certain things, but I feel like you need to get it out or you'll explode."

"I'm not dramatic like you."

"But you're down and that hurts me."

"Okay, maybe I'd like a blanket now..."

Santana and I said goodbye to Mike and Quinn. Santana said goodbye to Johnny and I thought it was brave and dignified of her to show that she wasn't beneath him. We got into the cab and drove home in silence. Santana changed her clothes, took a shower and went into the living room with a blanket in her hands. It was eleven p.m. when she sat down on the couch and shared a piece of the blanket with me. I put on a musical, because I knew she wouldn't have any attention left and maybe she'd finally start to let off steam.

"I can't imagine New York without Mike." Santana said casually.

"It was a surprise. Although that can happen to any actor."

"Would you move to L.A., Ray?" Her voice came out small.

"It's not in my plans, Santy. But you never know tomorrow." She became pensive and paid attention to the dance number.

"Johnny's put on a pound or two. Did you notice? And that woman he was talking to wasn't even that sexy. She had a nose the size of the world." Santana looked at me. "No offense."

"You're just lucky, Santana Berry-Lopez, that's all. I like my nose."

"To the point of thinking about getting it done every now and then, right?"

"At least I never begged our parents to allow me to have plastic surgery to put silicone in my breasts, which they wisely never listened to. You're already as busty as our mother, and you wanted to look like a stripper? That would be awful!"

"Puck said I'd be perfect if my breasts were bigger..." She rambled. "At that time I had some problems with my image, like every teenager."

"Nonsense. You've always been beautiful. Surgical interventions would ruin you."

"I thought I was more self-confident than most girls, but I had my weaknesses. I still do."

"For example?"

"I don't know... what could be wrong with me that Brittany would never choose me as a priority? Is it my looks? My personality? My what? I call her, I skype her so I always have the same image of the girl who takes care of her little boy, who has a husband. She's gone back to work, which is nice. But there's no sign that she wants me. Nothing at all. And here I am, not knowing why."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Santy."

"Maybe there is, Ray. Or why am I so afraid of moving on? Of leaving Brittany behind?"

I looked at my sister. She had a frown on her forehead, her eyes were as sad and fragile as I'd seen them in a long time. I ran my fingers through the curls of her hair and asked seriously.

"I swear this is the last time I ask, but what happened between you and Johnny that night at the Premiere? You said you offended the memory of their parents, but how exactly?"

She had her eyes fixed on me as if she was considering whether or not to open her guard. What's the point in not telling? I felt, with my sixth sense and through our invisible umbilical cord, that Santana needed to get these things out in the open. My sister relaxed a little more on the couch and pulled the covers over herself.

"We were having a great night. We really were. We flirted with each other as we had been doing for a while. It was fun and it wasn't at the same time, because being with Johnny makes me feel different things than when I was with Andrew, or Paul, or Puck."

"I don't understand..."

"Let's just say it works that way, Ray. I like the mechanics of sex with guys. But it's not that I find them particularly attractive on a daily basis. I've had boyfriends either because the guy was good in bed, like Puck, or because he was a great friend, like Andrew, or because I was alone, as was the case with Paul. Johnny scares me in the first place because I'm really attracted to him. I find him sexy like I find a woman sexy. Like Izabella is sexy. Like I find Brittany sexy."

"I think that's the part that explains why you're bisexual, Santy."

"It could be, it's just that it's never happened before. The friendship between us has always been there, and after he dressed up and revealed himself to be a very handsome guy behind that dull hair and strange beard, things started to change on that front too. One day, I found myself seriously attracted to Johnny. I think it started at a concert, and from then on I fell for him more and more. Andrew noticed it, and that was one of the reasons he broke up with me. We'd been flirting lightly for a while and things took on more intense proportions when I broke up with Andrew. On the day of the premiere, johnny and I were amused by the affected behavior of some of the people around us. We laughed like naughty kids until we stopped laughing and approached each other in a serious way. We decided to get out of the crowd for a breath of fresh air and that's when we kissed."

"Well?" I was almost holding my breath with the story.

"It was wonderful. I felt on cloud like no other guy had managed to do. In fact, like no other person, except one."

"Brittany."

"Bingo. Brittany. I felt like that guy could get me through. If there's anyone who really has the power to get me over Brittany romantically speaking, right now, it's him. That's why I panicked. From the bottom of my heart, I don't know if I'm ready to give up my Britt Britt. So I rejected him in the rudest way possible."

"Oh, Santana."

"I said something... that I'd classify as very rude even by Johnny's carefree standards. I said something like 'and who says little pothead orphans can't kiss? Your parents must be proud, right?', among other minor insults. I didn't try to get around it or apologize afterwards. Johnny didn't even looked at me. He just shut his face and left me standing there. He just walked away. I don't blame him."

Johnny was a closed guy when it came to his private life, and of all of us, Santana was his greatest confidant. I knew that both his parents had died in a very short space of time. His father died in a domestic accident, if I'm not mistaken, fixing the roof of his house. He slipped and fell. Johnny's mother was a depressive person. She couldn't cope with her husband's death and about two or three months later she killed herself. Johnny was studying at NYU at the time, and he was so devastated by his mother's death in particular that he fell into depression himself. That's why he dropped out of college and became homeless in New York for a while.

It must have hurt a lot to hear such a petty comment from the person you trust. Unable to hit my own sister, because life was already doing that for me, I tried to think it through as best I could.

"I think you should apologize. It's the least."

"I said I was sorry… days after that… don't worry, or I wouldn't even be able to look at his face with such shame."

"So, hermana, I think the next step is to be honest with yourself. Liking him isn't the problem. Giving yourself a chance is the big question. It remains to be seen whether you're willing to wait forever for a love you've found with someone else, or whether you're starting to suspect that your emotional loyalty to Brittany isn't going to get you anywhere. On the contrary, it's only holding you back from finding the same love in other people, like Johnny. I love Brittany, Santy. She's also one of the important people in my life, especially in my youth, and I know that she loves you so much that she'd be really sad if she knew that you were depriving yourself of trying to be happy because of her."

"Do you think so?"

"I'm sure." I ran my hand lightly over my sister's hair. "If you like Johnny, talk to him. Give it a try. If it doesn't work out, bear with me. But maybe it will work? Is he the person of your life? You'll only know if you try."

"I hate you, Ray. I hate it when you're right and I'm the insecure one in our duo."

"You're too proud for that."

"Maybe. It's just that when I think about my 29-minute lead..."

"Silly."

My sister brought her face closer and we exchanged a peck on the lips before she leaned her head on my shoulder to fall asleep as the movie reached its halfway point. My love life was healing. I hoped that my sister's could be resolved too.

...

November 22, 2015

(Quinn)

I was looking in shop windows for an interesting birthday gift for Rachel, but I honestly didn't know what to get her. Three years of dating that girl and suddenly it was as if I'd forgotten some things. Or maybe the distance that prevailed between us, added to our occasional conversations these days, made me realize that I was missing out on a lot about the woman I loved. I didn't want to miss out on those moments anymore, because I wanted to be by her side all the time, whenever I wanted, without restrictions. But Rachel imposed restrictions and conditions.

Instead of a birthday gift that might no longer be meaningful, I took out my cell phone and sent a message to meet the one who could best help me win back my ex-girlfriend: Rachel herself. Because I was working in a phenomenal place and I realized how empty I was, without being able to experience the moment as I should. Because at the end of the day, I'd come home and find a great friend in her. But in all honesty, the domestic routine with Santiago was annoying and empty, no matter how good a friend he was. We saw each other at college, at work, we lived together, we went out together to do things that, frankly, were very masculine, because I was his bro.

I was no longer drinking myself into an alcoholic coma, as I had been in the month following my break-up with Rachel. I drank, of course, but I returned to my normal state of consumption. This led me to a different experience with a woman in a bar. She offered me a drink, we chatted and I discovered that she was a very interesting woman who was almost ten years older than me. This woman was a lawyer and we exchanged phone numbers. We did a second date and sex happened right then. Physically speaking, it was excellent. But I didn't feel compelled to continue investing in this possible relationship because, for me, it was just another distraction from achieving my goal.

My greatest joy was when Rachel answered my call or when she sent me a message. I couldn't go on like this. I needed to put right what was wrong and go after who I really loved. That's why I decided to take another chance and sent her a message for a meeting, saying that I needed to talk. After work at Bad Things, I went to a diner and waited for Rachel. In the meantime, I ordered a coffee and a piece of apple pie.

Rachel arrived about 15 minutes later, apologizing for the delay, as she was finishing the rehearsal phase and the cast would be going into recess for 15 days due to the holidays. So everything had to be ready before then. Rachel arrived hungry, ordered a vegetarian sandwich and a huge glass of orange juice, as well as the apple pie she also loved.

"Almost 21, Rach. Any plans to celebrate?" I asked, hoping to be invited.

"Actually, I do. I'm going on a trip with my sister."

"Oh... to Lima?"

"No, it's a... let's say... spiritual."

"Does Santana know about this?"

"No... knowing my sister, she'll hate it, but in the end, if everything works out, she'll love it."

Silence fell over the table and it wasn't the comfortable kind. Rachel just ate her meal while I gathered the courage to say what I had to say.

"I don't know if I have a drinking problem... yet... like my mother does, but I'm definitely going down a very bad road."

Rachel stopped her meal and looked at me. At first she frowned and made mention of saying something, but remained silent.

"I know I have a problem. Sometimes I think I try so hard not to become my parents that I unconsciously fall into the trap of repeating them. My father has always been authoritarian, jealous, macho, possessive... I know of at least one extramarital affair he had apart from the tattooed woman. My mother responded his dominance by drinking. I don't want to be like them. But I am exactly like them. I need help. I need you."

Rachel was silent for a while, and I gave her the space to process the information. The pain and concern on her face was visible.

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"That's all I have to say on the matter."

"Okay..." Rachel took a deep breath and played with the glass of juice without finishing it. "Every time I had a problem, usually related to missing my mother, Dad would send me to talk to a psychologist. It was never a cure, but it was good to talk about it and tell him what I didn't have the courage to tell my parents: that I hated growing up without a mother around, when all the other children I knew had one. My psychologist stayed in Lima, and I haven't seen him in years... but Santana visited a psychologist here in New York who has an agreement to see executives and employees of Weiz Co. Maybe my sister can help you with that. Maybe she can get an appointment with this psychologist."

"Thank you..."

"Quinn." Rachel held my hand. "I'm proud of you right now. This is your first step."

"I'm lost, Rachel. Ever since we broke up on that horrible day, I've felt this emptiness all the time. I don't want to have casual relationships, I don't want to have quickies in bathrooms with women I don't even know. I don't want that, Rachel. I want you."

"I believe you, Quinn. I miss you, and I'm not that keen to meet other people. On the other hand, I don't want to go back with you either. At least, not where we left off. If we ever do get back together, it will have to be a fresh start. I'll want to rediscover who Quinn Fabray is, and give that person a chance."

"Fair enough. I'd also like to have a chance to understand who this new Rachel Berry-Lopez in front of me is." It was true. I could feel that Rachel had changed. She was still hurt, but that wasn't all. "What's on your mind?"

"You said you can't just be my friend. But try, Quinn. For a moment, make an effort. We skipped stages in our relationship, and that was a big mistake. We were on our way to the altar because it was easy. Because we started living together practically from day one of our relationship. It was just a matter of formalizing a condition we were living in. But we didn't and still don't have the maturity to understand what that is."

"I can't argue with you. I really thought I was married to you. To be honest, I'd been thinking about it ever since that ceremony I did to give you that silver ring. I really internalized that feeling. Maybe that's why I became so possessive, and then so unsettled when we broke up. It was the worst phase of my life. Not even when I was thrown out of the house when I got pregnant, I hit such rock bottom."

"I can imagine Quinn. It was hard to get used to not having you by my side anymore. But how much of that was love and how much was comfort and emotional co-dependency? That's why we need this, we need to start over as friends and see how it evolves from there. In the meantime, Quinn, you know you need to take care of yourself."

"Yes, I have my demons to overcome."

We enjoyed our meal now in comfortable silence, which was broken by a comment here and there. For a moment, it felt like old times, like when I lived with the twins and was part of the family. But that was only an impression, because my reality had changed.

In a way, I had to thank Santana for not breaking off relations with me in the process. She didn't kick me out of Rock'n'Pano, she didn't exactly turn against me. In fact, she treated me with surprising maturity. I felt indebted to Santana for her support. Because I feel that this was fundamental for Rachel to accept my presence until we reached this point.

"What are your plans for the week?" I asked casually as we were about to finish our meal.

"No plans... just work until my vacation before the premiere."

"Can I see you until then?"

"We can arrange to meet up, Quinn. Maybe lunch."

"I'd like that."

Rachel paid for our meal and I took a sandwich home. We said goodbye on the sidewalk in front of the diner. I walked with Rachel to the bus stop, which was also close to her building. She gave me a kiss on the cheek before going up to her place, while I stood in the street waiting for the bus to come back to mine. My chest was bursting with hope and my spirits were light for the first time in months. Rachel had opened a door for me to stay in her life. Maybe, someday, we'd get back together. I took the bus with a song in mind.

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Lion sleeps tonight/ In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the Lion sleeps tonight..."

/

The fic ends in the next chapter.