Chapter Nineteen:
Wario Comes For Bob
Wario laughed gleefully as he arrived back at his "house", carrying bags full of fried chicken that he'd looted from the nearest food market. He'd stolen enough to last a month and was looking forward to eating it all, along with Waluigi, assuming he wanted fried chicken too.
"Now that was worth it." The greedy Italian sneered, "Man, those losers were so easy to manipulate. Now, we c- WHAT THE...?!"
He looked at the table where the sugar box was supposed to be. How could it be gone, especially when Wario had not been away from the place for this long, and he was baffled to see that it had vanished. He put down his bags of fried chicken and looked around, then his eyes widened as a big thought flashed into his mind.
On his way back from the store, he'd bumped into Bob, who was carrying a box of sugar. The Garo had nodded to him as he passed by. Wario looked at the table again, thinking about the missing sugar box, and then his wide-eyes began to narrow with fury.
Wario's blood boiled, his temple bulged, and he clenched his fist angrily. And then, he raised his shaking arms and shouted, "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!"
He grunted, he growled, and his face reddened with rage. "NOBODY STEALS FROM WARIO AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" He thundered, Wario cursed the shady Garo and punched his hand into his fist, it was time to deliver some karma. With steam blowing out of his ears, Wario took off at light speed across the street and ran through the city with an angry scream.
"THE RAGING ANGRY WARIO TRAIN IS COMING FOR YOU, BOBOWSKI..." Wario yelled, "…AND YOU BETTER BE COUNTING BECAUSE YOU'RE IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE FOR TAKING MY SUGAR! I'LL GET THE COPS, I'LL GET THE ROYAL GUARD, AND YOU'RE GONNA BE MESSED UP BEYOND BELIEF!"
Toads yelped in alarm as the angry Wario ran past, completely surprised by his tantrum, and several people covered their ears as they heard the anti-Mario scream at the top of his lungs. Meanwhile, Bob was approaching his landfill home with the box in hand, smiling gleefully beneath his hood. Oh, his brownies were going to taste so good tonight.
Just then, he felt the ground rumble and he turned around, seeing Wario racing his way, yelling and charging like an angry bull. And Wario's eyes were wide with rage and he ran so fast, the ground was shaking with each furious step he took.
"YOU DON'T GET TO TAKE MY SUGAR, BOBOWSKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Wario howled.
"Oh, crap!" Bob exclaimed, he thought fast and pulled out a lighter, held up the box of sugar, and turned on the flame, holding it inches from the box in his hands.
"You don't wanna come closer or the box goes high!" Bob cried.
"Wah?!" Wario stopped, he was just inches away from the Garo. First, the box was stolen, and now, Bob was threatening to burn the box. His rage increased, Wario's shaking intensified, and his blood boiled more. He tried to compose himself, but he was just too angry with Bob. If that Garo really thought he was going to get away with it, he was wrong.
Wario inhaled, his breaths shaking with the rage in him, and then, he began screaming at high intensity to a point where the town could hear him and garbage fell from the mountainous piles of trash while Bob yelped as he took in what could have been the biggest villain rant/villainous breakdown ever.
And cover your ears, folks, and get the kids to the doomsday bunkers, because this one is massive!
"YOU MAMAF***ING FILTHY, SCUMMY, DIRTY, INGRATE STUCK-UP OF A WALKING TRASH-BAG OF A GARO HOBO! YOU SHADY, UGLY-FACED, SWINDLING SACK OF CLUSTERSHIT! JUST WHAT GIVES YOU THE DAMN RIGHT TO GO INTO MY HOME AND TAKE THINGS FROM THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM'S NUMBER ONE CRIMINAL/SCAM ARTIST TEAM EVEN WHEN NOBODY IS AROUND?!
"DO I COME TO YOUR F***ING HEAP-HILL OF A HOUSE AND STEAL YOUR SHIT WHEN YOU AREN'T HOME, SOME DAMN CRIMINALS HAVE STANDARDS AND YOU DON'T GO AND TAKE WARIO'S SUGAR WHEN YOU NEVER LEFT A NOTE AND NEVER CAME BY TO ASK! NOBODY TAKES OUR SUGAR, YOU SHIT-EATING, BUTT-SNIFFING, PISS-SMELLING, BASTARD-HEADED BASTARD!
"WARIO'S NOT GOING TO HAVE THIS DAMN SHIT FROM A WALKING SHIT-TALKER BASTARD WHO LOOKS LIKE A WALKING TRASH BAG AND I BET THE CLUSTERF*** YOU CALL 'FOOD' THAT YOU MAKE AND EAT HERE IS TRASH SHIT! I'LL BURN YOUR F***ING ASS BACK TO THE SEWER WHERE YOU CAME FROM AND CUT UP WHAT IS LEFT OF YOUR BAGGY BASTARD BAGGINESS!
"AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW, NOBODY F***ING STEALS AND SCAMS FROM THE WARIO BROTHERS, ONLY WE STEAL FROM YOU AND SCAM FROM YOU! I'LL CUT OFF YOUR P**** AND THEN I'LL CUT OUT YOUR INNARDS TO SELL AS ROPE AND CLEANERS AND REDUCE YOUR SHIT BODY TO A WELCOME MAT WHILE I BAKE YOUR BRAIN FOR DINNER, YOU SCUMMY IMMIGRATION SCAM SHIT!
"LET ME HAVE THAT DAMN SUGAR BACK, YOU BAG OF TRASH, OR I'LL START STEALING EVERYTHING YOU EVER OWNED AND THEN I'LL TOSS IT IN SHIT AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOUR SPINE OUT OF YOUR ASS AND PLAY A SONG ABOUT CALLED 'THE BASTARD OF BASTARDS'! YOU TOOK MY SUGAR AND NOW, WARIO'S-A KNOCKING AND I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A SHIT SMASH YOU WON'T FORGET..."
Up above, a news helicopter flew over and a cameraman was watching, holding the camera as he observed and recorded it for the news to hear. And in the Mushroom Kingdom News Studio, the headline was rolling in; "Angry Wario Rants At Hobo Garo".
"Breaking news!" News reporter Kermit the Frog exclaimed, "The Mushroom Kingdom's resident scam artist is screaming and swearing up a storm at a 'Hobo Garo' named Bob Bobowski. Residents were startled when Wario rampaged through town, yelling the name 'Bob' and it appears this is all because Mr. Bob took a box of sugar from the Wario Brothers..."
"Goodness, will Wario calm down?" A pink Toad asked.
"This guy could go nuclear at any moment." A Koopa remarked.
"Jeeze, bro..." Bob said to Wario, "...you need to work on your manners. And, in fact, I don't think we need this sugar. Looks like it just went up in flames."
Bob did the unthinkable. He put the lighter to the box and it exploded in flames, burning and smoldering and smoking. Bob threw the box aside, letting it burn, and ignited a pile of trash on fire. Wario stood still, his mouth wide open and his eyes wide as saucers. And then, his face became redder than ever and his eyes narrowed. And everyone but Bob hit the deck!
"NOW YOU'RE ASKING FOR A MANGLING, YOU BASTARD! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU CRY 'WAH' UNTIL YOU CAN'T 'WAH'! YOU'RE IN FOR A SHITSTORM OF F***ING PAIN AND I'M HAVING SOME SCUMMY HOBO GARO ASS TONIGHT AND YOU CAN'T STOP THE PAIN TRAIN!"
Wario leaped into the air, fists raised, and he came down towards Bob with a yell. He flipped around and positioned his butt downward, Bob flailed his arms and yelped just Wario made impact, an explosion shook the landfill and a Wario-y mushroom cloud rose into the sky while the news chopper flew out of the way before trash hurtled everywhere.
And several streets away, in another district of Mushroom City, Waluigi stopped and looked up in surprise as he heard the explosion.
"Wah?!" He asked, "What was that?"
"If I didn't know better, it sounded like someone unleashed a bomb while yelling at someone." A Toad remarked.
The Wah man shrugged and resumed walking around, thinking of Smash and what his special moves could be. And deep in his heart, sparks continued to fly and the dragon of rage continued to stir, preparing to awaken. All that the beast in Waluigi needed was more despair and more pain, then it could awaken and things would never remain the same again...
