The Bart of War Bart and Milhouse get in trouble when they smash up Ned's secret Beatles collection and as punishment are put under complete adult supervision away from each other in separate clubs. A giant baby terrorizes Springfield and Lois, the evil mom from Malcolm in the middle becomes a judge!

Plot

Bart and Milhouse are watching South Park. The four South Park boys are were at a concert.

"I hear the kid's voices are done by grown ups!" said Milhouse.

"So? I'm voiced by a woman!" said Bart.

"Who happens to also voice Chuckie..." said Oscar.

Bart winced at him.

On South Park.

"I can't believe we paid tickets to see a band with Steve Gutenberg, Calista Flockheart and Farty the crippled robot!" said Stan.

Farty the crippled robot farted. "Look who's in my fart! OJ!"

OJ Simpson appeared. "I'm gonna kill you all!"

He stabbed Farty's head off and the rest of the band.

"Yay! Cartoon violence! Cartoon violence! Cartoon Violence!" Bart and Milhouse cheered.

OJ killed Kenny by stabbing him.

"Oh my god! You killed Kenny!" yelled Stan.

"You bastard!" yelled Kyle angrily.

"Hey he killed Cartman too!" said Stan.

"You- Wow! Sweet! Finally!" Kyle cheered.

"And now I'm gonna find the real killer!" said OJ Simpson.

Suddenly someone turned the TV off. Bart and Milhouse screamed.

"I'm sorry kids but that cartoon's not suitable for young children! Let's watch a program about angels!" said Marge.

"Now back to Good Heavens!" said the TV. A programme about an old couple in heaven came on.

"Gerald, Jesus called!" said an old lady.

"He did?!" said her husband.

Bart and Milhouse screamed and ran outside.

"I wonder what Jesus had to say?" Oscar asked.

...

Bart and Milhouse were outside tying a string to a fly and watching it fly about.

"Why are we doing this..." Milhouse sighed.

"I dunno. I like to torture bugs." said Bart.

The fly went into Flanders' house.

"It went into Mr Flanders' house!" said Milhouse. They followed the string to get the fly back. However a white cat ate the fly and swallowed it.

"Well whattya know! Cats eat flies!" said Bart.

"I didn't know Flanders had a cat!" said Milhouse.

"Me neither." said Bart. "While we're in here let's muck about!"

Milhouse ran up to a lamp and started switching it on and off rapidly and laughing.

"Enough of that!" Bart told him off for being silly.

Bart then found a picture Ned took of his family some time ago, before they found Hugo in the attic. The picture was labelled "Best neighbor's ever."

"Ha! That's so gay!" Bart said laughing.

Then Bart ate all the peanut butter. "These losers are out of peanut butter!" he said with a mouthful.

"I know how to make some more!" said Milhouse. They were at a food processor. "Peanuts, butter... now put the lid on..."

"Hey I didn't go through life putting lids on things." said Bart. He switched the food processor on. The peanuts and butter mixture splattered everywhere.

Bart and Milhouse laughed at the mess they made.

"Now let's make Jelly!" said Milhouse. He was holding some grapes.

Then they were riding on a TV box table down the halls with Milhouse pushing until they went down some stairs to one of the basement level rooms. Yeah Ned has a fancy house.

They headed towards a door with a picture of angry God labled "Keep out or face the wrath of God!" Bart and Milhouse screamed until they went flying into it and shoved it open with little effort as it flew open upon them hitting it. They tumbled into the room behind it. It was a blue walled room decorated with Beatles memorabilia.

"Wow! Mr Flanders sure loves the Beatles!" said Bart.

"Who are the Beatles?" Milhouse asked.

"They wrote all the songs on Maggie's baby records." said Bart.

Milhouse came to some cans of beverages. "John Lemon, Orange Harrison, Paul McIce Tea, Mango Starr? Cool! Wanna try a blast from the past?" said Milhouse.

"Sure! Bottoms up!" said Bart. They each took a can and opened the ancient cans and drank from them despite how old they were.

They then felt unwell and started hallucinating. Bart saw Milhouse as John Lennon at various points in his career such as the Sgt Pepper album and when he married Yoko Ono.

"Yellow matter custard... dripping from a dead dog's eye..." Bart rambled in a trance.

"I'm gonna be sick..." Milhouse vomited into the trouser pocket of a suit in a collection of the Beatles' suits they wore on the Ed Sullivan show.

...

Ned and the boys returned home but Ned was horrified to find a mess and things knocked over.

"Intruders! To the panic room boys!" said Ned worried as he hauled Rod and Todd off to the panic room and sealed himself and them in.

"When can we come out?" Rod asked.

"Maybe never..." said Ned.

"Yaaaaaaay!" His boys cheered for some reason...

Eventually the cops arrived and searched the house to find Bart and Milhouse stumbling about, very ill from the expired drinks.

Eventually Bart and Milhouse's parents were called. Ned arrived furious to find his Beatles collection wrecked.

"My Beatles collection!"

"Wow! Ned! I didn't know you loved the Beatles!" said Homer.

"Of course! They were considered bigger than Jesus!" Ned said annoyed. "Then I knew better when I found the bible."

"Hmmmmm! Homie we're not here to admire Ned's collection... we're supposed to be cross with Bart!" said Marge.

"Hey, I'm always the first to get mad at him! It's just- Oooooh! A yellow submarine!" Homer was distracted by a yellow submarine cut out.

"I am the walrus! Goo Goo Go-joob!" said Oscar.

Everyone looked exasperated.

"Milhouse! These little stunts of yours will not get your father and I back together! We've been through this!" said Luanne.

"Now I'm sure little Bart and Milhouse didn't mean any harm apart from wrecking a few collectibles! How about we put it as boys will be boys?" said Wiggum scruffling Bart's hair.

"Grrrrr! I am so sick of hearing that word! Officer. Now I'm usually a soft touch when it comes to Bart's shenanigans because deep down I believe he's a good kid, but not after today! Bart, you are a bad kid! A very bad boy!" Ned snapped and yelled at Bart.

Bart was horrified at Ned for once being mad at him.

"Fine, I'll haul him and the glasses kid before the judge... see what he has to say..." Wiggum sighed.

"Um chief..." Oscar tried to warn him.

...

Unfortunately for Bart Judge Snyder was leaving to go on holiday and Judge Julie was off sick. There was a new judge in town.

"Oh..." said Bart.

"May the court rise for Judge Constance Harm!" said Eddie as the court warden. Bart gasped as a lady resembling Lois from Malcolm in the Middle took the stand.

And most unfortunately she took a very dim view to his behavior. Given she kept a mini French guillotine on the Judge's stand. "This little ruffian is a criminal in waiting! I am disgusted with your behavior young Simpson!"

"It was an accident, your honor." Bart began.

"Dont spit on my cupcake and claim it's frosting! Bartholomew."

"What did she say about frosting?!" Homer snarled.

"I sentence you and Milhouse to be under constant adult supervision and bar you both from making contact with each other until I feel you have learnt your lesson!" Judge Harm banged her gavel.

Bart was horrified to be forced to keep away from his best friend.

His parents weren't exactly sympathetic either. "Hmmmm! I'm sorry, Bart, but this is for your own good! Now the judge has offered a list of activity clubs for you to join." said Marge.

"But I like playing with Milhouse..." Bart whined.

"You won't be seeing anymore of that Milhouse!" said Homer; cross with him.

"Just pick a group sweetie. Look! Indians!" said Marge.

"Mom! That's Native Americans! Stop calling them that!" Lisa yelled.

"Coooool! I wanna be a red indian and learn how to throw tomahawks!" said Bart.

"It's Native American!" Lisa screamed in anger.

"Lisa don't raise your voice!" Marge told her off. "Okay Bart, you'll join the Preteen Braves."

"Can there be construction workers and cops and bikers and the YMCA..." Oscar asked.

"No!" Homer snapped.

"Homer! Don't yell at him!" Marge yelled.

Homer scoffed and sulked.

Oscar smirked.

"Oz no there's not gonna be any Village People stuff..." Bart sighed.

...

Bart was mooching in his room under curfew when Oscar arrived.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Milhouse..." Said Oscar.

"Don't be. It's our fault. We got caught messing up Ned's house and some ogress of a judge banned us from seeing each other." said Bart.

"Oh that's the new judge, Constance Harm?" Oscar asked.

"Yeah what of it?" Bart asked.

"Uh she's Lois, the really strict mom from Malcolm in the Middle." Oscar explained. "That's why Frankie Muniz is in town."

Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle entered Bart's room.

"Wow! Hey does your brother Reese still bully you?" Bart asked.

Before Malcolm could answer Reese gave him an atomic wedgie while yelling "Wedgie!" Malcolm winced in pain as his underwear was yanked really hard.

"Does that answer your question?!" Malcolm squeaked as the wedgie was chafing his butt and crushing his nether regions.

Dewey was holding lots of plushies.

Bart winced embarrassed by him.

"Well I'm bummed I can no longer see Milhouse. But I still have my games, my toys and my comics." said Bart.

"Yeah and unlike a certain pink wearing wearing fairy god child you don't have a reoccurring evil baby sitter to ruin that for you and drive the plot." said Oscar.

Ms Botz appeared in a puff of smoke.

"Uh... This isn't my cell in the Calmwood Mental facility..." said Ms Botz.

Bart gulped.

"Oh it's you brats..." Ms Botz sighed.

She tied up Bart and Oscar.

"I'm gonna rob you're house. And don't freak me out with your obsession over that dumb little cartoon bear cub again..." said Ms Botz.

"Anyway my sister's now in court. For teaching evolution because Ned some how got it banned." said Bart.

"No talking!" Ms Botz yelled.

...

The Simpsons were in court again in their smart fancy clothes. Ie Bart wearing a blue blazer and tie with blue shorts and church shoes.

Oscar chuckled at his combed hair.

"this is so embarrassing..." Marge didn't like her family members being hauled into court.

"Yay! We get to see the judge serve up hot, creamy justice for some unsuspecting creep!" said Oscar in a cheery tone.

"Mmmmmmmmmm... hot, creamy..." Homer gargled and drooled.

Bart frowned exasperated at him.

"Silence in court!" Judge Constance Harm yelled slamming her gavel repeatedly. She then passed her cruel and unfair judgement. I dunno probably the town reinforcing its ban on teaching evolution or something ridiculous.

"Well that's certainly not a reasonable decision." Marge muttered about Judge Harm's decision.

"And now I have to deal with my kids. Malcolm! Reese! Dewey! Stop trying to kill each other!" Judge Constance Harm yelled at her kids.

"Plushies?" Dewey asked.

"No! No more plushies!" Judge Constance Harm told off Dewey for wanting more soft toys.

Plot 2

Unfortunately Bart's group's chief was Homer. Bart, Nelson, Ralph and Database were sitting bored in the back lounge as Homer drank beer.

"Daaaad this doesn't look very Red Indian..." said Bart.

"Native American!" Lisa yelled.

Bart made a rude face at her.

"Hey I'm the chief and I'm thirsty!" said Homer.

"Lazy horse find us something fun to do in this guide." said Bart.

"Making wallets, respecting nature?! No wonder these guys lost the Civil War!" said Homer.

"Dad the civil war was between the Unionists and the Confederates. Or to put it simply North vs South." said Lisa.

"And the Natives lost because the white man infected them with Smallpox. Which gives me an idea for my latest plan for world domination! Gahahahaha!" said Hugo laughing maniacally.

Lisa sighed and frowned at him.

"Fine... Let's do a drum solo..." said Homer.

They went outside to the backyard where Chief Homer played a drum solo.

"I am Chief Homer... playing this drum solo... for you kids to learn lessons you should follow... now add to this drum solo..." Homer chanted. Then he started hitting the drum with drumsticks and hitting Nelson, Bart and Ralph with the drumsticks and the garden swing and Bart's tree house and himself.

"Now pick out your Indian names." Homer passed a hat with bits of paper in it.

"I am Burger and Fries? Man that's uninspired..." Nelson didn't like his tribe name.

Oscar moaned with hunger and drooled.

"Now let us return to the teepee! Because the Patriots are playing the Eagles and I don't want to miss it..." said Chief Homer.

They found themselves back in the living room bored while Homer was drinking beer and watching the football.

"Mooom! I don't think Dad is acting like a true American Chief!" Lisa said to Marge as they were watching from the kitchen.

"Yeah, Natives don't sit around drinking beer and Watching TV!" said Marge.

"They may do..." said Oscar.

...

Suddenly smoke wafted into the living room from outside.

"I smell smoke!" said Nelson.

"Without the speaking stick we don't hear you!" said Homer holding a feathered stick.

Nelson snatched it. "I said I smell smoke!"

Homer screamed and they ran outside to the garden.

Marge and Lisa were making smoke signals.

"I see you natives saw our smoke signal!" said Lisa.

Bart, Nelson, Ralph and Database were enthusiastic.

Homer scoffed.

Meanwhile the smoke signals could be seen from the nuclear power plant.

"Oh dear... the Pawnee have returned... they'll probably be wanting their souls back." said Mr Burns.

"Hehehehe! As much as that is a typical evil thing Mr Burns would do it sounds like something his alter ego Montymort would do!" Oscar narrated.

"We're not doing another Harry Potter episode right now..." said Bart to the fourth wall.

"Yes we are..." said Oscar.

Back at the Simpsons.

"Well that's pretty much the only native thing I'm willing to teach." said Marge.

"Teach us to throw tomahawks at people!" Oscar yelled.

"Certainly not!" said Marge.

"Uh Mom he has a point..." said Lisa. The natives were all about hurling tomahawks etc.

Marge frowned. Then she had an idea of something non violent.

"I know! We can make dream catchers!"

"Or pray to false gods!" Oscar yelled.

"Oscar natives were about ancestor worship..." said Lisa.

Oscar blew a raspberry noise with his tongue annoyed.

Lisa sighed. "Oz, a tribe's cultures and customs are no laughing matter..."

"The Aztecs were awesome though! They pulled out peoples hearts!" Oscar cooed.

...

Later.

"Wow! Mom we want you to be our tribal chief." said Bart.

Database, Ralph etc agreed.

"Yay for Bart's mommy!" said Ralph.

"Myaaaaaa, yes Mrs Simpson." said Database.

"Yeah! Three cheers for Bart's cool yet surprisingly hot mom!" said Nelson. There's always that one friend that fancies their friend's mom...

Bart winced at Nelson.

"Why thank you!" said Marge.

"But I was chosen by the great sky spirit to teach the ways of the antelope and ear of corn that we call maize..." Said Homer. "Ah forget it, I'll be at Moe's..."

Bart and his tribe were then, with difficulty, trying to put on their Native American tights.

"Mom did you actually measure everyone..." Bart asked.

"No tights for me! If my dad saw me in these he'd-" said Nelson.

"Nelson, you haven't seen your dad in ages. None of us had. Except when I first met Jessica Lovejoy and we were playing cowboys and Indians and our parents went Planet of the Apes to catch us and take us to church." said Bart.

"Well this is the day my dad comes back! I know it!" said Nelson.

"Nelson..." Nelson thought he heard his dad call him.

"Papa?" said Nelson.

Mr Muntz in his imagination had one heck of a makeover since the last time we saw him in Bart's Girlfriend.

Nelson cried and ran up to him to hug him. However in reality he was just hugging s tree and kissing it.

"Uh let's appreciate Nelson's love of nature..." said Marge.

Bart winced.

Nelson was still kissing a tree.

"Okay that's it, everyone indoors! Sheesh!" said Marge shepherding Bart, Ralph and Database indoors.

...

Homer went round to Flanders because Moe's wasn't open yet to help clean up the mess Bart and Milhouse left.

Ned wasn't in his cheery mood as he was holding a golden record that got snapped in half.

Homer decided to liven things up by playing with bobble head dolls of the Beatles.

"Homer...!" Ned groaned.

"Hehehe! Look at me! I'm Brian Epstein!" said Homer. "Now I'm Michael Jackson! I own all your songs losers! Hehehe!" He did a bad Michael Jackson impression.

"Homer! We don't mention MJ! Lest Fox deletes this episode of um our lives and renders it non canon!" said Ned.

"Why would they do something so petty?!" Homer asked.

Because they would now Stark Raving Dad doesn't exist any more...

Meanwhile Marge was out with the Preteen Braves to the park. That one cheery song from Call of the Simpsons started playing!

"Hell no! Turn off that song now!" Oscar told the sound department off for playing it.

"Now we're going on a field trip hosted by a real Native American! Meet Smiling Jim of the Mohican tribe!" said Marge.

Bart and his friends were impressed. "Hey I thought you guys went extinct." said Bart.

"No, but we like to continue the rumor. Chicks love it when you're the last of something." said the Native American.

"Ah! Are we on Indian land?" asked Database.

"Yes, my tribe's land used to stretch from that Krusty Burger, to that Dave's car wash." said the Native American.

"Oooooooh!"

The Native American described how the park used to be beautiful with creatures living in harmony.

Some bunny rabbits are jumping on a bear's stomach while he relaxes and a gorilla plays with a hoop.

Oscar laughed hysterically at the imagination/dream spot.

However this was just their imagination as the park was a wasteland full of tree stumps and rubbish.

Homer is seen dumping a treadmill in the river.

Bart and the Preteen Braves frowned.

"I'm uh, giving it back to nature..." said Homer.

Marge and the kids shook their heads sadly.

...

Marge was in the kitchen with the Preteen Braves giving them each a pointed stick and a sack to pick up garbage.

"What are we gonna do to that field?" Marge asked.

"Clean it up!" The boys cheered.

"Look at you..." Oscar sighed. "Marge has got you all doing what is just community service..."

"Now come on Oscar, you could benefit from joining our little club!" said Marge.

"Marge, I'm not the one being punished for breaking into people's houses and screwing up their stuff." said Oscar sitting down to drink some orange juice.

"Ah I'm not in trouble! I volunteered for this club!" said Database.

"Daddy signed me up because I'm special!" said Ralph.

"Uh... I assaulted a pensioner. This is my community service..." Said Nelson.

"Okay two out of four. But it can be fun Oscar, in fact I'm signing you and Hugo up to keep you busy over the holidays. Unless you want to join any of these other cool groups?" Marge laid out the leaflets.

"Befriend a veteran? Naaaah!" Oscar dismissed a leaflet as sappy and geeky.

"Ooooh! The five H club!" said Marge holding a pink leaflet with a flower on it.

"Five H?" Homer asked.

"They had to start admitting homosexuals." said Marge.

Homer screamed. "No way are they turning our boy into a fruit! Aaaaaaghhhh!" He rips up the leaflet.

"Homer! Stop being so homophobic!" Marge scolded him.

"Oooooh! The YMCA!" said Hugo.

Homer growled and snatched the leaflet and tore it up.

"Homer! Stop that!" Marge yelled.

"I knew this Chief Homer was a bad idea! Ahhhh! Now I know what this feathered headdress reminds me of! Damn you village people! You've turned red indians into a big fat queer joke!" Homer ranted throwing off his feather headdress.

Marge sighed. "You two read over these leaflets while I take the Preteen Braves to the park."

"Yes Mom..." Hugo sighed.

"Yes Mrs Simpson..." Oscar sighed.

...

Marge and the preteen braves went to clean up a park.

"Now make sure to use pine fresh on the pine trees for that fresh pine scent." said Marge.

"Mmmmmmmm! Pine fresh..." Oscar moaned with joy.

Nelson thought a pine tree was his dad.

"Papa?"

"Oh geez! I can see why he left!" Marge sighed.

Bart and the Preteen braves ran into the park making offensive red indian sounds. However they saw that the park had already been cleaned.

"Someone cleaned up our park!" Bart yelled.

"It's awful! It looks like Wisconsin!" said Nelson.

"Who could have done this?" Bart asked.

A trumpet played.

Kirk Van Houten had lead the cavalry kids, a civil war themed youth group. Their members were Milhouse, Jimbo and the Chinese nerd Cosine.

"Kirk?" Marge asked.

Kirk kept accidentally skewering animals with the flag pole such as a tortoise and a skunk. "Man did I wake up on the wrong side of the fouton..." said Kirk.

"Milhouse!" Bart cried hugging Milhouse.

"Now hold on you two! You know what the judge said! You're not supposed to be anywhere near each other!" said Marge pulling them apart.

"But we booked this park to clean it up!" said Bart. "I'm supposed to be here!"

"Well the cavalry kids have got here first! You'll have to leave!" said Kirk.

"I'm sure there's enough room in this park for two helpful young groups and enough space to keep Bart and Milhouse away from each other!" said Marge.

"Well the Girl Scouts claimed the south side." said Kirk.

"Well I guess this means war!" said Marge.

They growled at each other. Ralph was growling at a wolf.

"You smell like dead bunny!" he said as the wolf took him away somewhere...

Oscar laughed.

"Oz how is that funny..." Bart sighed.

Plot 3

The two groups competed to help out. Such as entertaining the old folks.

Feeding the homeless. Oh my god Homer why are you in the booze line for hobos?!

"I'm a beer lover..." said Homer.

"Milhouse I don't think it's a good idea to sell booze to the homeless..." said Bart as the bums started fighting. "Besides it's illegal for minors to buy or sell alcohol."

Wiggum dismantled the Cavalry kids' booze table.

And finally they competed building houses for the homeless. The cavalry kids bulldozers the Preteen braves house so they fired flaming arrows at the Cavalry kids' house.

"Coooooooool! IT BUUUUUUUURNS!" Oscar cheered.

Marge was at Apu's discussing all the good things the Cavalry Kids were doing.

"Well you haven't seen the Preteen Braves!" said Marge.

"You mean the native tribe whose people your ancestors killed, stole their land, violated their women and now appropriate their culture?" said Apu.

"Um... yes..." said Marge.

"Wonderful! Goodbye and come again!" said Apu.

At home Ralph was thrown into the Simpsons lounge while they were discussing the Cavalry kids and watching Drederick Tatum hosting a competition to hand out the most candy.

"I'm a rock!" said Ralph.

"I was wondering where he got to." said Bart. "Look a note!" Bart reads the note that was attached to Ralph. "We will crush and burn your dreams. Signed the Cavalry Kids.

"Marge you've been a wonderful peace time Chief but these are times of war! And war needs a cruel and murderous Chief!" said Homer putting on his feathered headdress. "Aaaaagh! I'm a queer! I'm a queer! I'm a queer!" He ran about screaming.

"Homer! Stop that!" Marge took the headdress off of him.

Oscar laughed.

"Well Sweetie have you chose your Pre-Teen Brave native name?" Marge asked Oscar.

"Yes... I'm Turok. From Turok the N64 game where you shoot dinosaurs with enormous and deadly guns!" said Oscar.

Marge frowned at him.

Dino also frowned at him.

"Turok only shoots bad meat eating dinosaurs Dino!" said Oscar whining.

...

That night the Preteen Braves snuck over to Milhouse's and sabotaged the candy the Cavalry Kids were planning to sell by adding Laxatives to it.

Hugo synthesised the laxative solution from his vegetables from last night's dinner.

"No he didn't..." Bart sighed.

"Yes I did..." said Hugo.

The next day Martin had joined the Cavalry Kids. He was outside Apu's with Milhouse selling candy.

"It's just the same as the candy inside the store but cheaper!" said Carl.

Lenny and Carl paid for and ate their candy bars but the laxatives took effect immediately. "Oh that went south quickly! I need the bathroom! And fast!" said Lenny as they ran into Apu's.

"Your candy has been tainted! You shall not receive the grand prize!" said Sideshow Mel.

"Candy! Get your delicious untainted candy here!" said Bart.

"Melts in your mouth! Not your pants!" said Nelson.

"I like it melting in my pants!" said Ralph.

Martin and Milhouse twigged the Preteen Braves were responsible for sabotaging their candy.

Eventually Mayor West announced the winner while his predecessor Quimby was wearing an Ash Ketchum hat.

The entries were the Preteen Braves, The Cavalry Kids and the Dandy Foppers. A group dressed as eighteenth century wealthy gentlemen.

Oscar laughed.

"Hold your necks up in anticipation children." said Mayor West. The three groups did so.

"And the winner is... The cavalry kids!" said Mayor West.

The Cavalry Kids cheered.

The Dandy foppish group fainted and Bart's group were annoyed.

"Who would want candy laced with laxatives?" Bart asked.

"Mmmmm! Now that cleaned up my constipation nicely!" said Grampa Abe Simpson eating the tainted candy.

"I am gonna be so poopy later... hehehehe..." Oscar also bought a tainted bar.

Bart sighed.

...

"I can't believe we lost..." said Bart.

"Now where does it say we have to be gracious in defeat?" said Homer.

"It's sowed onto the back of our jackets." said Bart.

"Marge... remove that stitching!" Homer was cross.

Marge sighed.

Then they went to a baseball stadium, Homer tricked Kirk with free VIP parking to drive around the block so Bart and his group could impersonate The cavalry kids and ruin their reputation by singing the national anthem badly.

Then the real cavalry kids arrived and started a massive fight! But that's boring so instead the Simpsons go home.

"Oz stick to the episode..." Lisa sighed.

"Let's all do a couch gag..." said Homer as they sat down. Suddenly giant hands picked them up.

The Simpsons house was just a doll's house in a nursery as a giant baby was holding the Simpsons and smiling. He drooled.

"Eeeeew! Giant baby!" yelled Bart.

Lisa grimaced baffled.

"This is a regular Tuesday for me." Oscar sighed being held by the giant baby from the couch gag.

The giant baby began tormenting them. He used some celotape to stick the Simpsons to his jack in a box so he just had Bart who he was planning to stick in his diaper.

"Ugh! No! Not the diaper!" Bart yelled wriggling about trying to escape from the giant baby's hand as he was brought closer to the baby's waist. The giant baby smirked and pulled open his diaper from the front holding the waistband open with his other hand.

"This wouldn't have happened if you just let us watch TV..." Oscar ranted at Marge.

Marge sighed.

"Also this Native warrior wants a Fusion Cannon! Or a Cerebral Bore..." said Oscar.

Marge frowned and seethed.

"I have got to play Turok..." said Bart in awe as he wriggled and squirmed being slowly brought closer to the hem of the giant baby's diaper.

"It doesn't even sound historically accurate..." Hugo groaned.

"Shut up." Oscar snapped.

...

Somehow the Simpsons escaped the giant baby, oh wait no he is sat on their tiny couch watching TV with them.

South Park was on. It was the episode with Calista Flockheart and Farty the crippled robot where OJ Simpson kills Kenny and Cartman.

"I can't believe we paid good money to see a band with Steve Gutenberg, Calista Flockheart and farty the crippled robot!" said Stan.

"I can't believe those kids a voiced by women!" said Milhouse.

"Guess who's in my fart?" said Farty the crippled robot. He farted out OJ Simpson.

"I'm gonna kill you all!" said OJ Simpson holding a knife. He killed Kenny by stabbing him.

"Oh my god! You killed Kenny!" Stan cried.

"You bastard!" Kyle swore.

Cartman gurgled as OJ Simpson decapitated him.

"Oh my god he killed Cartman!" Stan gasped.

"You! ... You brilliant man! Thank you! At last! Hooray!" Kyle cheered.

"Cartoon violence! Cartoon violence!" Bart and Milhouse cheered dancing in a circle.

Marge was powerless to do anything because the giant baby had taped her up in sticky tape.

However this brief celebration of Cartman's over due demise did not quell Stan and Kyle's anger at the terrible rock concert.

"Summon the zombie Mother Teresa!" Kyle yelled.

A coffin was brought on stage and mother Teresa was unleashed from it as a zombie. She growled and bit everyone ripping off chunks of flesh.

Oscar was baffled.

"Okay now this cartoon is getting stupid..." said Bart.

Meanwhile Ned's mysterious cat ate flies.

"Rod, don't let Kitty eat flies..." Ned sighed.

"Why do we have a cat in this episode Daddy?" Rod asked.

"I don't know!" Ned replied. I have no idea either!

"Anyway boys, I'm sure the old folks at the old people's home will love the peach tree we planted for them." said Ned.

...

We cut to the old folks home.

"We can't have any peaches because that monkey boy keeps eating them!" said Abe.

Jasper mumbled.

Monkey Hero from Monkey Hero on the PlayStation was eating peaches from the tree.

"Ooooooh! Kids don't want fun adventure games and cool mascots! They want violent edgy shooters and Grand Theft Auto and Football games!" said the CEO of Sony.

Monkey Hero frowned because this stupid business decision meant he wasn't getting a Sequel.

"Well I got one sequel..." said Tomba sighing. Yeah and it killed the franchise because you suddenly had a girlfriend and voice acting!

Eventually Marge got Bart and Milhouse to stop watching tv and play outside.

"I'm bored." said Milhouse.

"Hey, I've got an idea. Let's tie a string around a fly." said Bart.

"Cool." said Milhouse.

And so Bart caught another fly and tied a string round it and watched it fly about.

"Do you think bugs feel pain?" Milhouse asked.

"If they don't, I've wasted a lot of my life." said Bart.

[BUZZING] The fly buzzed.

"I wish I could fly. Then I'd be the most popular kid in school." Milhouse sighed.

"Knowing you, you'd mess it up somehow." Bart sighed. "Did you know one Treehouse of Horror I got turned into a fly once!"

"Cool!" said Milhouse.

The fly saw a sandwich in the Flanders house and went inside.

"The fly is stuck in Flanders' house." said Bart trying to pull it out again.

"I'll go contact the nearest adult." said Milhouse not wanting to get in trouble again.

"There's no time. We're going in." Bart broke in by climbing in the window

[GRUNTS] "My eyeglass repair kit." Milhouse dropped his glasses repair kit.

"Let it go." said Bart pulling him.

They found Flanders' cat. She swallowed the fly. That's supposed to be the old lady you idiot!

"Well, what do you know? Cats eat flies." said Bart.

"Sometimes I wish a cat would eat me." said Milhouse.

"Eeeeeeew! You're into vore..." Oscar groaned.

"Milhouse that's just weird. And Oz, stop talking about vore..." Bart groaned.

"Anyway I can't believe I'm saying this but we better leave before Flanders gets back. I already have a restraining order barring me from playing with you, Milhouse." said Bart.

Milhouse agreed and they left. This time making sure there was no evidence of them breaking and entering.

...

At home, Oscar gets mad at Hugo and throws him over the floor as they fight and fight as Marge picks Oscar up.

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Why are you two fighting?! You're the best of friends!" Marge told them off.

"Dunno, the fanfiction writer behind those weird Homer clones wrote that we were fighting." said Oscar.

"Well bumpkin. I can't have you fighting. It's off to the naughty stool with you!" Marge took Oscar by his wrist and sat him down on a tiny wooden stool perched in a corner.

"How long do I have to sit here?" Oscar asked facing the wall.

"Until I say. Or sooner if you need your diaper changed." said Marge.

Oscar sighed.

Plot 4

Marge was reading Oscar a childish story.

"That is so lame and childish..." Bart sighed.

"And I suppose dressing up as superheroes is something grown ups do then, Bart!" Lisa retorted.

"Well um... Shut up! My childish hobby is wicked cool! Everyone else's is totally lame and uncool because I say so!" said Bart.

Timmy Turner sighed. "Fine... fairy tales aren't uncool..." he relented to Wanda.