Into Harm's Way Young children are getting arrested and treated harshly by cops especially when a kindergartener Bart knows gets arrested for picking a tulip... based on real life with the spate of very young children being arrested in North Carolina recently...

The Simpsons upon Bart being subjected to police brutality find their sworn enemy Judge Constance Harm is behind everything.

Plot

The chalkboard gag is "Milhouse did not test Cootie positive."

The couch gag is being drawn on an Etch a Sketch.

...

The kids are watching Itchy and Scratchy. The one where the Big bopper and his band who died in a plane crash are vampires. Scratchy as a cop has his skin ripped off and flies off his motorcycle chasing Itchy. Itchy clones as doctors help him into a medical plane. "You'll be just fine..."

"Helloooooooo Scratchy!" said The Big Bopper.

"The Big Bopper?! Richie Valens?! Buddy Holly?! Noooooooooo!" Scratchy screamed. The sadly departed musicians hissed and had fangs and green eyes because they were vampires and bit Scratchy.

Oscar laughed. Ace winced.

"You have a bizarre sense of humour Oz..." said the vampire boy. Ace is a vampire.

Marge and Homer came downstairs and were talking to their kids.

"Kids, it's valentines night. You know what that means?" Homer asked smiling.

"We stay downstairs, you go upstairs. We watch the TV with the sound waaaaay up..." said Bart.

"Yes. Now your mother and I are going upstairs to um, make blanket ropes in case there's a fire..." said Homer.

The kids were savvy enough not to believe them.

"Dad, we know you're both going upstairs to have sex..." said Hugo.

Marge gasped at his language.

"Don't say that word! Wash out your potty mouth freak!" Homer scolded Hugo.

"Homer!" Oscar snapped.

Homer screamed. "I'm sorry my little monster face!i love you!" Homer hastily apologised to Hugo and kissed him before running upstairs carrying Marge.

Homer laid down petals and sprayed perfume. But Marge was very tired this evening.

"But it's St Valentine's night! God wants us to do it..." Homer whined.

Oscar coughed and handed a script to Homer.

"Abd so does Cupid, that Randy little baby that shoots arrows... and Tyrannosaurus Sex! Marge you don't want to make him mad!" Homer continued.

A Tyrannosaurus rex in bondage gear and a leather cap roared at the Simpsons while Cupid, a flying, winged baby wearing a diaper carrying a quiver of heart arrows glared at the Simpsons.

"Okay fine..." said Marge yawning.

"I'll just get some music on to set us in the mood." said Homer purring. He put on a radio but it played twinkling lullabies. "A lullaby?! Where's my romantic music?! Oh no..."

In Maggie's room, Maggie was in her crib dancing to Tom Jones's Sex Bomb.

Tom Jones was singing Sex Bomb.

"Damn it Tom! Ruin my sex!" Homer yelled.

...

Downstairs the kid's watch Troy McClure predict things for season 15.

"Magic powers..." on a screen is a picture of Homer turning Lisa into a frog.

Bart smirked dressed in his Springwarts uniform waving his wand.

"Long lost triplets!" Now on the screen next to Troy was Bart looking shocked as a black basketball playing Bart arrived along with a Texan cowboy Bart with a lasso.

"Ay carumba!" Bart and Hugo yelled.

Lisa face palmed.

"And a green sprite called the Great Gazoo, that only Homer can see." The Great Gazoo from the Flintstones excerpt for the sake of parody called the Ozmodiar.

"You really did it this time! Dumb dumb!" said the Green Gazoo.

Oscar sweat dropped.

Homer in canon went out because he didn't get sex and went to the adult class school where the manager you apply to teach classes with didn't believe he could tell the difference between butter and I can't believe it's not butter.

"That's impossible Simpson! No one can tell the difference!" said the man who looked exactly like the guy who sold him Demoxinil.

Homer tapped his nose.

"Fine... meet me round back..." said the man adjusting his glasses.

In an alley.

"That's an amazing tongue you have Homer!" said the man.

"Oh that's nothing... I can hear pudding..." said Homer chuckling.

"You do realise this secret can never be revealed! It would ruin the butter substitute industry! I can't believe it's not butter and Utterly Butterly would go under!" said the man.

Then Homer found Dr Hibbert was running a Strip for your wife class as his alter ego, Malcolm Sex.

"Satisfy you wife! By any means necessary! Ahehehehehehe!" Dr Hibbert as Malcolm Sex chuckled.

"I will give black people the freedom and respect they deserve! By any means necessary!" said Malcolm X ominously.

"Even violently, Mr X?" A black man asked. They were still used to using non violent resistance on advice from the good Dr King.

"Yes!" said Malcolm X thumping the table.

After being kicked out and told to call his missing mother and tell her he is not to become a male stripper.

"But Dr Hibbert, I cannot call my mother! I don't know where she is! She went on the run from Mr Burns!" said Homer.

"Get out..." Dr Hibbert demanded he leave his strip for your wife class for covering himself in oil that was meant for the whole class. Honer slid down the hall into a successful life class where you make your life better. The man teaching it had a watch so encrusted with jewels it stopped working. And he threw Moleman out the window.

"Oh no! Moleman!" Homer gasped.

Homer followed the life guru's advice.

"Outta my way, life obstacles! Nothing is standing in my way!" He yelled at dinner. "You, do your homework!" He pointed around Bart. "You, don't do so much homework!" he said to Lisa. "You learn to talk." He said pointing to Maggie. She sucked her pacifier. "You, stop learning to talk!" He pointed at Hugo. Hugo growled and made monstrous noises and moans.

"You! Upstairs we make love now!" Homer scooped up his wife, Marge and carried her upstairs. She giggled.

"Oh! Homer!"

...

However his positive hard working ethic and reporting Lenny and Carl to Human Resources for having light sabre fights with the uranium rods didn't go down well with Mr Burns.

"Well I say The phantom menace sucked more!" said Lenny

"Well I say Attack of the Clones sucks more!" said Carl. They were having a light sabre battle with the uranium rods.

"You're both right! Worst prequels ever!" said Comic Book Guy.

Obi Wan Kenobi face palmed.

"What book? The big ape wants a promotion?! Get out of office you corn fed, man cow!" Mr Burns snapped.

A Minotaur roared at him.

"Sir I think your pet Minotaur is displeased by the corn fed diet you're feeding him... they prefer to eat meat. Preferably human..." said Smithers.

"Oh eat Smithers then! You! You oversized bovine man beast!" Mr Burns sighed.

the Minotaur roared and lunged at Smithers who screamed as he was mauled and eaten.

Greek Hero Oscar sweat dropped.

...

The Simpson kids were sent out to play outside at the park or something while Marge and Homer had sex.

At a bus stop Bart witnessed a black kindergartener from school picking a tulip. suddenly cops arrested the five year old.

"For wilful herbicide! Take him away boys..." said Wiggum.

"I want my mommy!" The kindergartener cried.

"Chief! He's just a little kid!" Bart yelled.

"Harassing a cop! Mace him Lou!" said Wiggum.

"Aaaaaaagh! My eyes! It burns!" Bart yelled as he got maced in the eyes. Then the cops beat him up. "This is police brutality yo!"

"No it's not! You're white and it's not 2020 yet!" said Wiggum. Bart was hauled off into custody.

Lisa gasped angrily.

"We have to get to the bottom of this Hugo!"

"Just a sec..." said Hugo eating from a bin.

Meanwhile.

"Sir, I don't think it is wise to dump radioactive waste under Lego Land!" Smithers or a clone of him asked Mr Burns.

"Pshaawwww! The effects on the environment won't be seen for generations..." said Mr Burns.

We cut to Lego Land where a giant Lego man with green glowing eyes roars and stomps about while firing gamma beams from his eyes. People are screaming.

The Lego whitehouse roared and grew legs out of red Lego and stomped about.

"Hehehe... talk about a run away government..." a man chuckled but the Lego Eiffel Tower skewered him and stomped off breathing fire!

"Coooooooool!" said Oscar, there touring and buying Lego.

At school cops were called because a child defecated, pooped, on the floor of the toilets.

"Possibly a third grader." said Skinner.

"Strip search all of third grade boys!" said Wiggum.

"Ye gods! Chief they're just children!" Skinner gasped.

...

Wiggum was escorting children to court. Lisa and Hugo covertly followed.

Inside a cop who was also a dad, like Wiggum. He was handcuffing a five year old boy with the plastic hand ties and roughly making him sit down and yelling at him in his face.

"Right that's it! When I'm done with you! Your grandchildren are gonna need grandchildren lawyers for all the litigation I'm burying you with!" Oscar yelled. "I sue now instead of shooting..."

"Buzz off kid. We're just following orders..." said Wiggum.

"From who?" Lisa asked.

"From me! Now silence in court!" Judge Constance Harm revealed herself as the mastermind behind this bullying.

Lisa gasped.

...

"Judge Harm!" Lisa gasped.

"In the flesh..." said Judge Constance Harm. "We meet again... Simpsons..."

Oscar was being unhelpful by playing dramatic stinger chords. "Dun dun! Duuuuuun!"

"Oz stop playing that!" Hugo yelled.

"No yelling or music in my courtroom!" Yelled Judge Constance Harm.

"Moooooom! Reece is picking on me! And Dewey keeps whining for more plushies..." Malcolm groaned.

"And no references to that I'm Lois from Malcolm in the Middle!" Judge Constance Harm yelled.

"Lady you're an even crueller Judge than Judge Dredd! Or maybe Frollo..." Oscar snapped.

"Right that's it! I sentence you to dea-" Judge Harm snapped but before she could bang her gavel...

"Not so fast!" said Judge Snyder.

"Judge Snyder!" said Lisa relieved. He was a fair and honest Judge.

"But I am about to pass a sentence!" Judge Constance snapped, annoyed.

"The clown is down!" said Judge Snyder sharply. Putting a small model of a clown on the rim of the box the judge stands in.

"But!"

"The clown is down!" Judge Snyder snapped.

"The clooooooown..." said Oscar in a demented manner.

Bart face palmed.

Judge Constance Harm stormed off. "You haven't seen the last of me, Simpsons! I'll get you! And your little dog too!"

Lisa sweat dropped.

"Now what is this mess?! A child beaten by cops?! Kindergarteners arrested for picking flowers?! Third graders strip searched! Good heavens! I declare mistrial! All charges are dropped! I am very sorry children for such tyranny that happened in my absence! Off you trot!" said Snyder embarrassed by Constance Harm's cruelty. He ruled the trials unlawful and set the children free.

Lisa, Bart and Hugo cheered.

Plot 2

Meanwhile Mr Burns revealed in case of government officials trying to arrest him for poisoning the environment... A canary was actually in charge.

"Oh sir, a handsome man like you would never survive in prison!" said Smithers. This was back when Burnsie could get away with things.

"Oh stop brown nosing Smithers! And I already have a way out! When the feds arrive they'll find a canary is actually in charge!" said MrBurns revealing a cage with a canary inside. It tweeted.

"You're a bad widdle puddy cat! You're fired!" said the canary in tweets. Note my lawyers insist I capitalise Tweets...

"Oz no!" Bart whined.

"Fired?! Why?!" Mr Burns gasped. The canary tweeted. "I'll give you 'Not enough bird seed!' No more Twitter for you! And Simpson! Administer the shaking!"

"With pleasure sir..." said Homer grinning evilly. He went up to the bird cage with the canary inside and shook it. Frightening the poor canary.

"Hey! Stop that!" Ray Patterson as the garbage disposal management president yelled.

Homer the slandered him by saying he lured children into his gingerbread house.

"Homer! That's really not funny in this day and age! What with pedophiles etc..." Oscar snapped.

Meanwhile the child arrests got stupider as a six year old girl was arrested for kicking someone... and Judge Constance Harm hired the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to round up naughty children...

"Lollipops! Get your lollipops children!" said the child catcher.

The Tiny Tim kid from Fist of Odin ran outside but was stopped at the doorway by Bart, Lisa and Hugo.

"Tiny Tim! No! It's clearly a trap!" Bart and Lisa yelled.

"But the nice man has some candy!" said the boy voiced by Dan Castellaneta doing a high pitched voice.

"Oz stop using that character..." Homer groaned.

Never!

Oscar face palmed as Ralph got caught as the child catcher said he had cream pies and treacle tarts.

"I have cream pies and treacle tarts!" said the child catcher.

"Yum!" said Ralph running out.

"Ralphie no!" Wiggum yelled. "Oh treacle tarts!"

Then the Child catcher got nasty and broke into houses with his henchmen to find children.

"This is even more frightening than when Kevin Spacey was mayor!" Oscar squeaked as the Simpsons hid all the children in the attic. "Ooooh the attic... Anne Frankly I am quite führerious..."

"Oz! Not funny!" Bart snapped.

Marge hushed them.

The child catcher stormed in. He looked about downstairs carefully and found four Clownjas. One with a red concertina, one yellow, one green and one blue. The red one resembled Dick Van Dyke, the yellow resembled Trudy Scrumptious. The other two were clearly children but the child catcher was fooled and left. Probably to star in a Terry Pratchett movie singing a gay song...

Once it was safe Homer released his children from the attic.

"Except you Monster boy. Maybe you should stay up there..." said Homer to Hugo.

"Homer!" Oscar snapped.

"Why are there jack in a boxes in the living room?" Lisa asked.

"They are clearly people dressed up as shiny nosed clown jack in a boxes. Watch." said Oscar. He went up to the boy and honked his big red shiny clown nose.

"Owch!" said the boy.

"See? If the child catcher was still here, you guys would have been caught." said Oscar. He zapped the main characters of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, turning them into Clownjas.

...

Homer was trying again with Marge to get some post Valentine's Day nooky.

"Hey Little Red Riding Hood... I ate your grandma..." said Homer.

Little Red Riding Hood screamed and fled.

"Homer how dare you eat Grandma Bambi!" Marge snapped.

"Marge I'm role playing!" Homer groaned.

Elsewhere...

"Mr Burns! I'm here on behalf of the National ethical treatment of Greek mythological beasts and- aaaaaaahh!" Splash! Oscar was dumped down a trap door with a splash. "Ooooooh! Look at the little eels! Electric eels?! Aaaaaaaaagh!" Zap! Zaaaaaaap! There are electrical sounds from the eels and flashing blue glows.

At home.

"I didn't know Mr Burns had electric eels..." said Bart.

"Well he does." said Oscar singed with burnt clothes.

"Technically they are not eels. They are knife fish..." said Hugo.

"Quiet Mr Know it all!" Homer snapped.

"Dad! Quit picking on him for being clever! Pick on me in future!" said Lisa.

"But I love you sweetie! Even when you're correcting me!" said Homer sweetly.

"Dad... you being mean to Hugo doesn't make me happy..." said Lisa annoyed.

...

Mr Burns was arguing with his canary again.

"You're a bad widdle puddy cat!" said the canary.

"Right that's it!" Mr Burns Tweeted him. "Smithers! Twitter suspended my account! Harassment my foot! They always pick on republican tycoons and corporate overlords!"

Donald Trump was Tweeting. "Melania, Honey? Twitter suspended my account again! That's so unfair!" The Orange future president whined. "Stupid Mexicans..."

At the park Maggie saw a lollipop. Gerald, the monobrow baby saw it too. They got into a fight pulling each other's hair and got arrested by Judge Constance Harm's overzealous police.

In court.

"You heard me ma'am, I quit! Because your creepy Child Catcher took my Ralphie!" said Wiggum.

"Oooooooh! I am so steamed! I... I could just go on a nonsensical tirade like Mr Burns!" said Judge Constance Harm annoyed.

"Try this one your honour!" said Mr Burns handing her a piece of paper.

"So... the caterpillar has emerged from his cocoon... as a shark with a gun for a mouth!" Judge Constance Harm read the note.

"Cooooooooooool! Sharks with guns for mouths!" Oscar cooed.

"No Oz!" Bart whined.

"Silence in court!" Judge Harm yelled banging her gavel. "Well Monty... you certainly give me the impression that you're senile..."

"Why you...! You're lucky you're a judge!" Mr Burns snapped.

"Is that a threat Monty..." Judge Harm glared at him.

"Can we start the court case please..." Squeaky voiced Teen sighed.

"Very well... Jury..." said Judge Constance Harm.

"We call forth Maggie Simpson accused of the crime of battery and stealing a lollipop." said Squeaky Voiced Teen. "Her accuser is one Gerald Sampson. Aka that baby with the unibrow..."

Gerald glares at Maggie.

"All rise for the honourable Judge Constance Harm." said Squeaky Voiced Teen. Everyone stood up.

"Rise higher! Stand on your benches! Yes that's the stuff! I am your Judge! You're jury and executioner too... perhaps. You may take your seats. Judge Constance Harm bathed in her power trip and gloating.

Everyone sat down.

"Maggie Simpson you stand accused of battery, and stealing this boy's lollipop!" said Judge Constance Harm. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Maggie sucked her pacifier.

"Very well. The defendant has spoken. Plaintiff what do you have to say in response to this?" Judge Constance Harm asked Gerald.

Gerald glared at Maggie.

"Plaintiff. I'm aware a toddler is quite capable of representing themselves in court." said Harm. The boy that picked a tulip was scribbling in a colouring in book. "But babies? Oh wait what am I saying?! I'm a cold hearted, manically cruel judge! Of course they can be tried! Mwuhahahaha!" Constance cackled evilly.

"Vendetta! Vendetta obiezione!" said Gino Terwilliger despite not being a character yet.

"You don't even exist yet!" said Judge Constance Harm.

"I bought him as a premium character for fifty donuts..." said Oscar playing Tapped out on his Myphone.

"Why am I judging a trial involving babies and a lollipop anyway? In all seriousness?" Judge Constance Harm asked.

"Court orders. Apparently you're too harsh towards adults and too mean to kids. So the Special Judge Squad from Judge Dredd comics decided to put you on Baby Court." said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"I wander what Ms Bossy thinks about babies? Does she even like them?" Oscar asked.

"Silence in my court!" Judge Constance Harm yelled banging her gavel. "And for your information I don't have baby fever. Dengue, yellow and a touch of Cat Scratch fever but not Baby fever."

Bart winced. "Dengue fever?! How are you even still alive?!"

"Bart people do recover from Dengue fever..." said Lisa.

"Pipe down you two! Now I must ask if you have the following fevers..." Oscar interrupted court. "Ububub ub! I am speaking now..." Oscar read a list. "Black water fever?"

"No..." said Judge Constance Harm.

"Saturday Night Fever?" Oscar asked. He danced as Beegees sung Night Fever and John Travolta danced too.

"No..." said Judge Constance Harm.

"Swamp Fever?" Oscar asked.

"No! Now stop interrupting or I'll charge you with contempt of court!" Judge Constance Harm snapped.

"So you don't like babies..." Bart asked Judge Constance Harm.

"No..."

"Yet you have four sons, your honour..." said Oscar.

"Oz stop mentioning Malcolm in the Middle... yes Judge Constance Harm is voiced by Jane Kaczmarek..." Bart sighed.

Maggie frowned and sucked her pacifier while doing a chicken dance.

"Dancing baby eh? Nah... still feel nothing..." said Judge Constance Harm.

Gerald glared menacingly and smashed a butterfly with his mallet.

"Now there's a baby after my own withered heart! Let's here your case plaintiff!" said Judge Constance Harm.

"Uh... Plaintiffs and defendants need a lawyer with them in court in order to have a fair trial..." said Oscar.

"that's very important... WRITE THAT DOWN!" The Queen of hearts shouted.

"Very well..." Judge Constance Harm sighed. "Where are these babies' lawyers? There should be one behind each snack table!"

"How did Maggie get herself arrested again?" Lisa asked.

"Aw... baby court. This brings back memories..." said Bart grinning smugly. I have no idea why he is feeling Deja vu...

"You miniature adults. How about you be the lawyers? Can you raise the bar?" Judge Constance Harm asked Bart and Lisa.

"I once snuck into a bar...?" Bart replied. "Does that count?"

And so a frivolous and stupid trial went on over two babies arguing over a lollipop...

"Just read what's on these cards on how to work as a lawyer." said Judge Constance Harm.

"This just says settle..." Lisa replied wincing.

"Lisa you have the upstanding moral compass of a defence attorney. Gah I hate defence attorneys! It's so much easier in Mexico!" said Judge Constance Harm. "You shall be Maggie's Lawyer.

Lisa accepted this.

"And Bart. How do you feel about recklessly wielding your disproportionate amount of power and deciding people's fates on a whim?" Judge Constance Harm asked Bart.

"Sounds like my dream job!" said Bart grinning eagerly.

"Prosecutor it is then." said Judge Constance Harm.

"Children as lawyers?! Babies in court?! I feel like I'm in cloud cuckoo land!" Lionel Hutz wailed.

"Silence in court!" yelled Judge Constance Harm as she banged her gavel.

Uncle Phil aka Mr Banks was a witness.

"Take a seat Mr Banks." said Judge Constance Harm.

"How dare you! When my attorneys are finished with you, your grandchildren will need grandchildren lawyers!" barked Uncle Phil.

"Mr Banks!" Judge Constance Harm said sharply.

"Silence! If I want you to speak, I'll have it beaten out of you!" Uncle Phil said in his evil voice.

Oscar sobbed. "And then he slapped me with a subpoena..."

"Blast those infernal turtles!" Uncle Phil ranted.

Plot 3

Squeaky Voiced Teen was a witness next.

"Your honour. I saw everything. Maggie, Gerald, the lollipop, the whole thing!" said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"Very well... I find Maggie Simpson guilty!" said Judge Constance Harm banging her gavel.

Maggie sucked her pacifier nervously.

"Objection your honour!" Lisa objected.

"Who dares object?! Oh it's you! Blast! But I've already banged my gavel that makes the decision kosher! It's my favourite part of my job you know!" said Judge Constance Harm sharply before calming down.

"Maggie has a right to a fair trial. Just like anyone else! And err... have her diaper changed..." said Lisa.

"Eeeeeeew!" Bart groaned holding his nose.

"Very well... Court will go into recess while the bailiff helps change Maggie's diaper. I ain't helping! Ugh! That's why I can't stand babies!" said Judge Constance Harm.

"Mooooom... Dewey's diaper needs changing..." Malcolm sighed. I'm sure he's toilet trained but he eats things he finds down the back of the sofa and loves plushies and soft toys.

...

"Wait someone else was at the park! Mr Burns!" said Lisa.

Everyone gasped.

"I call Mr Burns to the witness stand." said Lisa.

"Oh so a lollipop goes missing and you immediately accuse me after I once contemplated stealing candy from a baby..." Mr Burns sulked.

"Answer the questions, Mr Burns..." Lisa sighed glaring at him.

"Or Bobo gets it..." Bart grinned.

"Nooooooo! I have nothing to do with it! I swear!" said Mr Burns.

Next to the witness stand was Homer. He was wearing a hat.

"OFF WITH YOUR HAT!" The Queen of a Hearts yelled. Homer screamed and took off his hat.

"Dad, do you know anything about a lollipop being stolen from Gerald?" Lisa asked.

"Mmmmmmmm... lollipop..." Homer moaned joyfully and drooled.

"The witness seems sketchy... permission to badger him?" Bart asked.

"Hold on..." Judge Constance Harm replied.

"Please your honour. I'm not maniacally wicked or spiteful enough to steal a lollipop from a helpless little baby and I'm not clever enough to get away with it! I can't even bento a box!" said Homer.

"Imbecile!" Hugo snapped while assembling a bento box by carefully arranging maki rolls, nigiris and sashimi in a pretty and delicious display of colourful fish and rice.

"Silence in court!" Judge Constance Harm yelled once again.

Next up for witness was Richard Nixon's head in a jar. Headless Spiro Agnew brought him up to the witness stand.

"I am not a crook!" said Richard Nixon.

"Former President Nixon, what do you know about the missing lollipop? Did you take it? May I remind you you're under oath!" said Judge Constance Harm.

Richard Nixon sweated nervously and dug himself deeper. "Well your honour the question is vague... I err... you haven't said what kind of candy... Well I most certainly wouldn't have hurt the child..."

Everyone jeered.

Bart and Lisa frowned, thinking he looked very suspicious.

Homer and Hugo were arguing over the former's inability to make a bento box lunch. So they were kicked out of court.

"Enough of who can or cannot make a freaking bento box! Sheesh!" Judge Constance Harm yelled. "Now where were we?! Ah the next witness.

Homer and Hugo left court sniping. They went their separate ways. Hugo went to a sushi restaurant. Homer went to Moe's because he had big, big news.

Homer went into Moe's. "What's the news Moe?" He said interested.

"I just got a cell phone!" said Moe.

"Finally..." said Carl.

"Let's celebrate with an entire episode about this turn of events..." said Lenny.

Er... let's not...

The cellphone beeped.

"I just received my first text! From an unknown number..." said Moe. "As I have yet to put any of your numbers in yet. It reads; Looking for a Keybum, first name My Li. My leaky bum? My leaky bum? Hey has anyone seen my leaky bum!?"

"No! And we don't want to!" Barney laughed. Everyone laughed.

"Oh it's you isn't it!" Moe texted the unknown number a violent message. "Oh I used an X! No don't auto correct that to cow! Damn I sighed up for AOL!" said Male texting.

...

The next witness was the March hare.

"What did you witness?" Judge Constance Harm asked the March hare.

"Nothing what ever!"

"Nothing what ever?!"

"Nothing what ever?!" De Hibbert asked as this passed about the court room.

"That's very important! WRITE THAT DOWN!" The Queen of Hearts yelled.

Bart and Lisa sweat dropped.

Oscar went to the sushi restaurant Hugo was working at.

"Konichuwa! Konichiuwa Mr Roboto!" said Oscar.

"Oz... stop calling everyone Mr Roboto..." Hugo sighed. "What are you ordering?"

"All you can eat Sushi! It's magically delicious!" said Oscar.

"Yes. I suppose it is..." said Hugo.

Oscar's order arrived. A bento box of sushi.

"Domo arigato, Mr Roboto!" Oscar thanked the staff.

"Oz! Stop that!" Hugo yelled.

In court.

"Twinkle, twinkle little bat... How I wonder what your at... Up above the world so high... like a tea tray in the sky..." said the dormouse before retreating back into his teapot.

"That's very important! WRITE THAT DOWN!" The Queen of Hearts bellowed.

"Twinkle twinkle! Twinkle twinkle!" The jury repeat, writing on mini blackboards.

"Objection your honour!" Bart yelled.

"Overruled! And this isn't Judge Judy or Ace Attorney! You can't just yell objection out loud whenever you feel like it!" Judge Constance Harm explained.

"But I have a reason! That witness is not relevant to the case..." said Bart.

"Very well... Objection sustained. Dormouse's statement will be casted out as irrelevant." said Judge Constance Harm.

Oscar didn't like the rules she set up in her courtroom. Especially the bathroom break rule of no bathroom breaks! "Now you're just making up rules! Who made you Judge Judy and executioner?" He whined.

Judge Constance Harm gave him a glare as if to say, who do ya think, Einstein?

Oscar sighed and sat quietly.

"Your honour. There was one more witness at the park I haven't cross examined." said Bart.

"Okay! I admit it! I stole that lollipop and blamed Maggie Simpson!" Squeaky Voiced Teen cried.

"Oh geez! You ruined the suspense! I was gonna accuse you!" Bart whined.

"Well that's this frivolous court case settled." Judge Constance Harm hammered her gavel. "I am furious you Simpsons got away innocent once again! Mark my words! I will find you meddlesome kids guilty of something one of these days! One of these days!" She ranted and cackled evilly. "Now go! And never again darken my court room!"

Bart and Lisa left, taking Maggie home.

This wouldn't be the last time the Simpsons saw Judge Harm in court. There was that time in canon Lisa filed a restraining order against Bart.

"Your honour can you please lift this restraining order." Marge asked.

"Bart, do you have anything to say?" Judge Constance Harm asked Bart with a stern look on her face. Anything he could say could potentially backfire on him...

"My sister has no sense of humor. I'm sure you understand. It's why you became a judge instead of finding a husband." said Bart. Big mistake!

"I have a husband! his name is Hal!" Judge Harm snapped at his insolent remark.

"What is he, blind and deaf?!" said Bart digging himself deeper.

"From now on, the restraining order is set at 200 feet." said Judge Constance Harm.

Nice going... Dumbass...

...