Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.


Gira Hastie, first of his name, was no stranger to being in over his head.

Declaring rebellion against the crown?

Getting chosen by his kingdom's guardian deity to be the rightful heir to the throne?

Battling the increasingly deadly forces of the Bugnarok and his own brother?

Unlocking ancient secret after ancient secret and saving the entire planet from destruction by the maddened Lord of the Abyss, and helping to finally put an end to a 2000-year war?

Every challenge that he'd encountered, beneath all his bluster and declarations of being the tyrant King who would rule the world, he had secretly worried he didn't have what it took… And he'd always overcome them anyway, with skill, courage, friendship, and a bit of luck. He was confident this situation would be no different. With the help of the other kings and the blessings of the Shugods, they would save Terra once again.

Granted, he admitted to himself, staring up at the colossal Dagdead Dujardin, King of the Galactinsect Empire, a being so powerful the gods feared him, who could drop planets on cities like it was nothing, teleport across the vastness of space as easily as breathing, change size in the blink of an eye, treated the entire universe as his bedroom and the destruction of worlds as little more than a game, he had no idea how they could even begin to fight a threat like this, but he was confident as soon as he got home and rallied the other kings – surely Rita would let them (and themselves) out of prison early to deal with a crisis of this magnitude, right? – They would think of something.

Why, Yanma probably already had a plan! He usually did.

As he continued trying to convince himself that everything would be fine in the end in a desperate attempt to tamp down the gibbering absolute terror he was experiencing from this existential threat to everything he thought he knew about reality, Dagdead continued mocking Gira and his entire world for just how small and insignificant they were.

"And then we have an even tinier galaxy… And a downright shrimpy planet like Terra… Filled with little specks like you, who can't comprehend any of this," Dagdead said casually, snatching a pebble floating about. "This oughta do it. Flick!"

Gira's eyes widened in horror as the pebble – which, actually, was only a pebble in comparison to Dagdead and in reality was a meteor big enough to devastate entire countries – hurtled towards his planet. "Stop… Stop it!"

The meteor did not stop. In fact, it fragmented in the planet's atmosphere, bombarding Shuggodam and killing God Kuwagatta knew how many people. "Almost smooshed your lil' Terra!" Dagdead chuckled, completely uncaring that he had probably just wiped out hundreds if not thousands of Gira's subjects. "The thing about this room… Is it's just lousy with planets and life forms. I need to organize it! But cleaning up is such a drag. Which is why… I'm trying to make it fun! By pitting lifeforms against each other… I invented a game for destroying planets! And boy, is it fun! All you do is poke and prod a bit, then sit back and watch. It's like the universe is cleaning itself!"

This. This was all just a game to him?!

While Deathnarak's attempted genocide had been horrifying, at least he had a reason for it, as twisted as it was. But Dagdead was just trying to kill them because they were an inconvenience?!

Bile rose in his throat, but he refused to throw up before this monster, not wanting to degrade himself before than he already had been.

They had to find a way to stop him. They couldn't let this continue, not for one second longer. There had to be a way to beat him, there was always a way-

And suddenly, the entire universe shook. Gira cried out and clutched his ears, blood starting to ooze from between his fingers as an awful cacophony bombarded him. It sounded like…

Knocking?

"Oh, hold that thought," Dagdead said, floating away from Gira towards what looked an awful lot like a door set into the side of the box containing all of existence.

He opened the door. And on the other side was…

Was…

Gira screamed

and screamed

and screamed

and kept screaming until his vocal cords ruptured and blood splattered from his mouth, red globules floating in the air like a crimson mist.

All of his confidence, all of his courage, all of his faith in himself and his friends, all of it was immediately forgotten, his mind shattering at the unfathomable horror he had only caught a glimpse of, but that glimpse was enough to destroy him utterly.

He tore at his fine raiment, ripping them to rags worse than the ones he'd had to wear in the depths of poverty, and finally remembered he had a sword, drew it, held its edge to his face, and-

A moment later, he felt relief as everything went black, sighing blissfully as he felt the blood run down his cheeks from his ruined eyes. There. It was over now. The bad thing couldn't hurt him anymore.

And then it spoke, and he shattered all again, every eldritch syllable causing physical pain, causing blood vessels to burst in his brain, his bones to crack, his organs to fail, and if that weren't bad enough, he could somehow understand every word spoken.

And the sheer banality of it made things even worse.

"OFFSPRING. WHY HAVE YOU NOT CLEANED YOUR ROOM YET?"

"I have been!" Dagdead protested. "I was about to clean up that dinky little planet right over there, see?"

Gira, despite his blindness, suddenly discovered that he could, in fact still see, his broken, fragmented mind allowed a glimpse of what was happening on his beloved, utterly inconsequential planet as the two horrors conversed.

In Peta, the power went out for the entire city. Having lost their precious Wi-Fi, the N'Kosopans immediately lost their minds and began rioting, looting, and violently assaulting each other, the free-spirited and already borderline crazy denizens of the most advanced kingdom in the world degenerating into shrieking bloodthirsty apes not too far removed from their primitive ancestors.

Yanma, eyes wild, stalked the halls of his castle, his broken computer dripping with blood from where he'd used it to cave Shiokara's head in.

"THERE ARE FEWER PLANETS THAN THERE WERE WHEN YOU STARTED, YES. BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE FINISHED BY NOW. YOU'VE HAD MILLIONS OF YEARS."

"I got a little bored after the first epoch or two so started trying to find ways to make it more interesting. You yourself said that I should find ways to make all my chores fun so I actually enjoy doing them!"

Gira's joints twisted and cracked, his limbs bending in ways they never should have. One of his lungs collapsed. His stomach boiled in its own acid.

In Flopital Castle, the people of Ishabana descended into madness, forsaking the thin veneer of outer beauty to let the ugliness festering deep within all of them to the surface, destroying the beautiful fixtures and buildings that made their kingdom such a wonderful sight to see and wallowing in their filth as they vindictively took out small, petty grievances on each other, exasperated into bloody carnage.

Himeno, naked and covered in blood and excrement, merrily pranced through the streets, using her advanced knowledge of medicine to kill everyone she came across in excruciating agony, a deranged grin on her face as she made sure their deaths were long and slow.

Sebastian was impaled on the highest point of the castle, resembling a spit pig.

"THE POINT OF TURNING A CHORE INTO A GAME IS TO MAKE IT GO FASTER. YOU HAVE DONE THE EXACT OPPOSITE. AND YOU ROPED YOUR FRIENDS INTO THIS?"

"It's not like they had anything better to do…"

Most of Gira's organs violently exited his body through his rear. His ribs caved in. One of his legs fell off.

At Ziburn Castle, the prisoners violently threw themselves at the bars keeping them imprisoned, not caring how badly they were beating themselves against the ice, just wanting out, out, out, until finally they broke free, inmates trampling each other in their rush for freedom, bashing in the heads of the guards and each other, laughing with joy as they all exulted in the violence and freedom they had been denied for so long.

Rita, the unassailable, unbreakable sovereign, broke completely, destroying the giant scales in their throne room while ranting about how justice was blind and the law didn't exist and was nothing more than a fantasy conceived by pathetic life forms unfortunate enough to be born in a vast, uncaring universe, splattered with Morfonia's blood from when they had cut her down and dancing around in the fur of their biggest Moffun doll like it was the skin of a dead animal.

The yetis, long dormant, awoke from their slumber and charged down the mountain, hungry for the flesh of man. Rita would welcome them with open arms.

"THIS IS YOUR CHORE, NOT THEIRS. SEND THEM HOME AND FINISH THIS YOURSELF. IF YOU'RE DONE BY DINNER, WE WILL HAVE YOUR FAVORITE DESSERT."

"Can't they stay for dinner? We haven't had a sleepover in a while."

Gira's teeth and nails fell out. He suffered several heart attacks in a row. His liver exploded.

In Toufu, a horrid blight reduced the kingdom's bountiful crops to ashes within an instant. Overtaken by an intense hunger, the people began to turn to the only food left; each other, devouring their neighbors, their friends, their family in a horrific, cannibalistic frenzy.

Kaguragi, who had always boasted of how he was unashamed of getting his hands dirty, lurched about the kingdom with even dirtier hands covered in blood and gore, which he used to break the neck of anyone he came across and feast on their brains.

His sister had been his first victim. She and Kuroda had been delicious.

"IF THEIR PROGENITORS ARE FINE WITH IT. BUT FOR NOW, FINISH CLEANING. AND DO IT YOURSELF, OFFSPRING."

"Yeah, okay."

Gira ripped off his ears, but he could still hear it. He could hear every last bit of it.

Why wouldn't stop why wouldn't it stop why wouldn't it stop why wouldn't it stop why wouldn't it stopWHY WOULDN'T IT STOP

He saw what befell his precious Shuggodam.

Those that had survived the devastation from the sky turned on each other.

The aristocracy were torn down from their thrones and ripped apart by frenzied, hateful mobs.

Boone butchered Kogane and everyone else at the orphanage while dressed in a costume resembling Gira himself, screaming he was the new tyrant King.

Douga, after slaughtering his family, fell on his sword.

Kofuki threw himself into the gears of Caucasus Kabuto Castle, causing a huge breakdown, the machinery collapsing, the castle falling to pieces and crushing everything beneath it, killing thousands.

They welcomed this end.

"I LOVE YOU, OFFSPRING."

Dagdead sighed. "I love you too, progenitor."

Deep beneath the earth, the mass grave of God Cicadas stirred, life returning to the dead deities, the divine insects shrieking as they emerged from their tombs, swarming out to devastate the surface of Terra, bringing forth a new Fury of the Gods.

The Shugods looked on, weeping and bellowing in impotence to the heavens before killing themselves one by one.

A broken man on a broken throne, Jeramie laughed and laughed and laughed as around him, the Sanagim slaughtered by Dagdead's jesters lurched back to life and rushed at him, throwing open his arms to accept their rightful retribution for failing to protect them, mind utterly shattered at the realization that this was how his story would end.

Kamejim vanished completely, as all illusions did when faced with the ultimate reality.

Gira howled in anguish, or rather gurgled since he had no voicebox left, realizing that Deathnarak had been right all along. They should have let him destroy the entire planet, should have surrendered and allowed him to kill them all, should have ended their own lives, anything to avoid this terrible fate, better to die with dignity then be twisted beyond recognition by utter madness-

The door closed, and just like that, sanity returned.

The people of Terra – those who were left, anyway – suddenly realized what was going on and what they had done.

They didn't have long to dwell on this, however, because Dagdead reached out and crushed the planet between his thumb and index finger.

"There," he grumbled. "That's one down."

He paused, noticing Gira was still, somehow, alive. "Oh, you're still here?"

He reached out-

And everything was finally, blissfully silent.