I stare into the ceiling, and it stares back at me. The cold air chills my skin even through the futon's sheet, my thoughts swirling within my mind, forcing me awake.
"I'm nothing but just a fake. That's all I will say."
I can't help but think of her. Her words about herself, and that dream I had before… It annoys me.
She is not what she thinks she is, and I'm sure of it. I just need to get her to admit it, even if she tries to push back against me, no matter how much.
I can't bear to see her fight against herself like that.
I look to my side, at the door leading to her room. I stand up, walking to the door with light steps, careful not to make a sound.
As my hand reaches for the handle-
"Can't sleep?"
"Avenger-?"
Her voice halts me in my tracks. She still heard me, huh?
Wait, more importantly, why is she awake?
"Avenger, you're still awake?"
"Couldn't sleep. How about you?"
How long has she been up for?
"The same as you."
"Is that so? Then why don't we talk for a bit? Feeling bored from talking to myself."
Having no other choice, I sat down against the door. Her back presses against mine through the flimsy exterior, her warmth emanating even through it.
We sat there in silence for a few moments. The ticking of the clock being the only sound accompanying us as I try to find what to talk about before I tell her what I want to say.
Eventually, I speak.
"...Why couldn't you sleep?"
"Had a bad dream."
"Is that so? I had the same thing actually. I guess we're not exactly far apart in that case."
"Yeah, I guess so."
And silence reigns again. Awkwardness starts to overtake me the longer we sit quietly.
I can't wait any longer.
"Do you still think about yourself that way?"
I ask her those words.
"...What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. About you being nothing more than a fake."
"And so? I am one, nothing more, nothing less."
Her words irk me.
"No you are not, no matter how many times you try to tell yourself that. You are yourself."
"And how are your words supposed to change that?"
I feel her heat rising from behind my back, a slight hint of anger layering her words as she continues on.
"I'm an imitation, that's what I truly am. How are you so sure to say otherwise, huh?"
"Because…"
"Because what?"
I glance at my hands as I squeeze them, light blue sparks coming from my fingers as I pour a bit of magical energy into them before stopping.
Faker…
Gilgamesh's words echo in my mind. Maybe I am a faker, but that doesn't stop me.
"I am the same as you. But, it never stops me from being my own."
"...Is that really so? Do you think just because you're the same as me means that I'm not a fake?"
"Yes. And I'm not going to back down from it."
I can feel her anger rising from behind the door, the heat almost burning my back as though a barrier is forming between me and her, embers manifesting from beneath the floor.
"You are an idiot. Why do you believe that so clearly?"
"The same way I believe in you. You are more than a fake, you are yourself. And nothing you say is going to change that."
And that's the truth. No matter what she says, no matter what she believes, she's still not an imitation. She is her own right, a level above that. A real person.
"...You bore me. I'm going back to sleep."
I remain silent as the heat subsides, embers disappearing with her heavy steps as they echo between our rooms. I sigh, putting my head back against the door, the ceiling gracing my vision once again.
Maybe I said a bit too much.
I stand and walk back to my futon. Lying down, I close my eyes. Breathing slowly as my mind starts to fade from consciousness.
…
…
…
And yet, it doesn't fully fade away. Not with this worry inside me.
The clock ticks away as I sigh and look back at the door. Just a little check on her wouldn't hurt.
Standing up, I walk to the door, reaching for the handle and I pull it open-
"Huh?"
"Eh?"
Only to see Avenger's faded golden eyes peering into my own.
We stand there, neither of us saying a word as we stare into each other's eyes. Her pale skin illuminated by the moonlight coming through the window's gaps.
"Avenger…?"
I thought she went to sleep.
"What? I just couldn't sleep."
"...Then why were you standing in front of the door?"
"That's… nothing."
I raise an eyebrow at her.
"Are you sure?"
"I… fine, can I sleep in your room?"
…Huh? What brought this on all of the sudden?
"In my room?"
"What, you don't have enough space or something?"
"I thought you were angry with me after that…"
"I was, and still am. Now move over."
She brushes me aside as she looks around the room, glancing down at the futon, tapping on it with her feet a few times before lying down on it.
I stand there and watch her take over my futon as she looks at me, holding up the sheet while she taps on her side.
Is she expecting me to lay beside her?
"Uh…"
"What are you waiting for, come on."
I hesitate for a few moments before walking over and lying down, her face now close to me.
I can feel her breath on my lips as we look at each other, our cheeks slightly reddened as her eyes try to turn away from my gaze.
"Well, goodnight…"
"Wait."
"What is it?"
I sit up. There's still something I need to ask her.
"Do you… still believe yourself to be a fake?"
"...Again with that? No matter what you say, I'm never going to change my mind about it."
"Is it because you're scared?"
She glares at me.
"Scared? Who do you think I am? No, it's just… the truth. I am not this Jeanne D'arc, I am but just a flawed copy of her."
"Even then, you're still you. No matter what the truth is."
She glares for a few more moments, before her eyes look down.
"...Shut up and go to sleep."
Avenger shifts around, her back now faced toward me. I sigh and lay down, my eyes staring at her back for a moment before turning around.
As I close my eyes-
"And, thanks for what you said, I guess…"
She mumbles to me.
I smile.
"You're welcome, Avenger."
"Shut up."
As my mind starts to fade away into unconsciousness, I remind myself of what to do. For her, and for myself.
I will make her see, no matter what.
And so, darkness shrouds my vision and slumber overcomes me.
