Summary: SSHG, AU, Thanks to some vindictive "accidental" magic, Severus Snape gains something wholly unintended.
Beta Love: Publishing unsupervised, whoops, there's a Dragon and the Rose
A/N: Happy Birthday, Dragon and the Rose, um a little late because short became long
Dawn of the Nundu
"Short" Birthday Story for DragonandtheRose
People need to look at wildlife conservation in its totality. As soon as you lose the apex predator, it has harmful consequences right down the food chain.
Thomas Kaplan
Albus' brows knit together as he stared at the two Gryffindor boys who seemed to have an absolute Merlin-given mission to muck up every single form of protection he had given them.
"Where is Miss Granger?" Albus asked as he took in the cover of soot and potion goo that Snape had made sure they wore on their trek up to Albus' office.
Harry Potter, at least, managed to look somewhat guilty, but Ronald Weasley just snorted, jutted his chin out and said, "It's Levi-OH-sa, not Levi-o-SA. That curly-haired know-it-all bint doesn't know everything!"
Albus, who had tried his very best to set Granger up with the pair to keep them alive and successful, felt his stomach drop to his feet. "What have you done with Miss Granger?"
Ron crossed his arms tightly.
"Mr Weasley, I highly recommend that you tell me exactly what you did or said to Miss Granger, lest you be missing the dinner hour as well as breakfast, depending on how long I choose to keep you here in my office."
Ronald's eyes widened in terror. "I just told her that if she liked Snape so much she should just go grow up with him and get the bloody hell out of our lives!"
Albus felt the tightening of powerful magic around his office with a growing sense of horror at what Ronald's vehement wish magic had set into motion.
Phineas' cackling laughter filled Dumbledore's office as their entire timeline was snuffed out like a candle in a hurricane.
Tobias carried his son by the scruff of the neck, taking him away from the seductive allure of the willow yet again. His tail curled in a loop across his back like a flag telling his prey he wasn't on the hunt just then, but the birds called out in alarm as one tried to divebomb his head.
"I've told you repeatedly to never go to the park alone," his father said with a heavy sigh. "Other people—they just won't understand."
"But she's a witch!" Severus complained. "She'll be magical, just like me!"
"Not magical like we are," Tobias corrected his son. "We'll always be different from them. Even the magical ones. You could accidentally breathe on that Evans girl or her sister. And she could die. Or worse—wish she was dead."
"But I'd never breathe on her, Da!" Severus protested. "I wouldn't even show her what I really am!"
"You wouldn't mean to," Tobias said grimly. "I didn't mean to breathe on your mum, either. A single breath—and it stole away her magic. She's hated me ever since."
"I just want to have a friend who understands, Da!" Severus whinged, limply swinging in the wind as his father carried him home. "I just wish I had a real friend who understood!"
"I do too, son," Tobias said with a sigh. "I really do."
Just at that moment, the dark storm clouds opened up and a radiant beam of sun caused Tobias to wrinkle up his face and squint, his lips pulling back from his teeth. Severus fell to the ground with a thump and an oof, and his tail bristled like a bottle brush before he realised he couldn't quite attack the sun. As the brightness of the sun blinded his father, a dark honey-coloured blur fell to the Earth and landed squarely on Tobias' head with a dull thud.
Tobias' eyes crossed as he looked up, and a female Nundu cub stared back at him with wide eyes, her whiskers twitching and her tail poofed out with surprise.
"Will you be my friend?" the cub asked hopefully. "Nobody wants to be my friend."
"I'll be your friend," Severus said at once, his nose working furiously to take in what his eyes were trying to tell him.
"I'm Hermione," the female cub said, sliding down Tobias' head to land right on Severus' back. "Oof, sorry about that."
Severus rolled over and playfully counter-pounced her, and they tussled together into the grass and leaves until Tobias' large paw stopped them both flat.
"I am Tobias," the elder Nundu told her, sniffing her over carefully and giving her a good lick down.
Hermione mrowled in protest at the unexpected bath.
"I'm Severus!" Severus proclaimed happily, his neck scruff fluffed out in pure excitement. He let out a bright blue cloud of blueberry-scented vapour.
"Where are your mum and dad, child?" Tobias asked, frowning slightly.
"I don't remember," Hermione said softly. "I was falling for such a long time. I forgot so many things as I kept falling and falling—but then I remembered other things like how to land on all four feet, and how to keep my paws clean, and—and—how to hold my breath! And then—a fiery bird gave me lessons and told me not to be afraid, so I wasn't!"
"Was it a phoenix?" Severus asked excitedly.
"I don't know, but he was all sorts of lovely colours, mostly red and gold," Hermione said. "He let me bat at his tail feathers."
"It must have been a phoenix! They are really rare!" Severus decided. "I saw one in one of mum's old school books."
"I love books!" Hermione said. "At least, I think I do. I'm pretty sure I do!"
"Well, I'm going to see if your parents are around, but you can stay with us until we know for sure if they will come to get you," Tobias said kindly.
Hermione batted at his chin with one claw-sheathed paw. "Okay! Thank you Mr Tobias!"
Tobias chuckled. "It's Snape."
"That's our last name!" Severus provided helpfully.
"Thank you, Mr Snape!" Hermione said politely.
Tobias let out a loud, Earth-shaking roar, but strangely none of the humans who lived there seemed to hear it. The two cubs tilted their heads and listened.
Tobias shook his head. "Come along you two, let's go home," he said, padding his way back to the house.
The two cubs playfully pounced his long tail, trying desperately to catch it (with limited success) as they followed along behind.
"Haven't you wounded me enough, Tobias!" Eileen shrieked. "You drain away all my magic, force me to live in the same house as a son who has my magic and your dangerous power? And now you want me to let this other beast live under my roof and kill me in my sleep?"
"I never meant to harm you, Eileen," Tobias said sadly. "I have always loved you."
"Loved? You call what you did love?"
"It wasn't supposed to be like that—it was instinctual—to share my breath in a moment of powerful emotion!"
"Well, you can see how well that worked out for me!" Eileen jabbed. She grabbed Hermione by the scruff and jerked her up. "Maybe this little beast will put me out of my misery. If what you did was out of love, maybe a complete stranger will do what you couldn't!"
"Eileen, NO!" Tobias yelled, moving to take the cub from her hands, but she jerked Hermione away with a huff of anger.
"Look at me, you little beast! Show me what a dangerous thing you are!"
Hermione puffed out a small blue cloud of bluish-green vapour in her fear and distress.
Eileen breathed it all in, determined to end herself and her suffering by proxy, and she coughed harshly as the cloud slowly dissipated. Magic crackled around her body as if it were breaking out from a dried husk, bursting free of the protective cocoon that had inadvertently kept her from her magic.
Eileen stared at her hands with a look of confusion, still clutching the frightened cub as magic began to respond to her call once more. She let out a strangled sob as she clutched the Nundu cub in her arms, falling to her knees and bursting into tears.
"My magic—my magic—somehow you gave me back my magic." She rocked the cub against her chest with grateful sobs, petting, cooing, rocking, and crying all at the same time.
Tobias stood frozen in place, rooted to the spot and totally confused, his face twisted in an emotion he couldn't even express to himself let alone anyone else.
"Da?" Severus asked, tugging at his trouser leg. "Does this mean Mum will let Hermione stay?"
Tobias looked to where his wife was tenderly cradling the small Nundu cub against her, bathing the young feline in her tears. Hermione was licking her chin in supplication, trying to comfort her.
"I think so," he said with no little wonder.
Amelia Bones had out the measuring tape, and she measured Severus, Hermione, and Tobias with it from the whiskers down to their tail tips.
"You can live right here in the Department of Mysteries," she said with a sniff. "We seem to have a thing for creature comforts of various kinds. We have a special area for those with special innate abilities—those more dangerous than most. The cubs would be able to attend school here until they're Hogwarts age, you could all get out of this rather exquisite rubbish heap, and Eileen here could begin to reintegrate with magical society."
"How did you find us?" Tobias asked. "How is it that you can even understand us when we are like this?"
Amelia shrugged. "I'm pretty old. I've learned a few things in my time," she said with a chuckle.
"She doesn't look very old," Hermione whispered.
Severus nodded back.
Amelia laughed. "Trust me, I'm much older than I look. You get mated to an ancient dragonbat, and things just season you while the world keeps on turning."
"Dragonbats are real?" Severus asked, his eyes wide.
Amelia snorted. "Very. Some would say unfortunately. Others would say thankfully. Just depends on your point of view."
"But what do you say?" Hermione asked.
"Depends on if he nicks my dessert," Amelia said with a smile.
"What happens when we're old enough for Hogwarts?" Severus asked.
"Well, if you have enough control over your forms by then, you'll get to attend school like any other children your age, but you would Floo back to the DoM for all weekends and holidays—or whenever you need to."
Severus and Hermione exchanged eager smiles. "Okay!"
Eileen clasped Tobias' hand tightly, and he nodded. "I suppose a move could be a good thing. We accept your offer."
"They tickle," Hermione complained, flicking her tail in mild annoyance as the wizard applied the DoM markings on her ear and fitted her with a special collar.
"I know," Severus shared her complaint as he used his hind foot to furiously itch his neck.
"Patience, young cubs," the wizard said soothingly and cast a spell on the collars, and the itching immediately stopped. In fact, they could no longer feel the collar's weight or presence around their necks.
"Oh! How wonderful!" Hermione said with a cheer. She gave the older wizard a fond lick with her sandpapery tongue, and the man rubbed his cheek a moment.
"I think she just deaged you by at least a year," Peabody said with a chuckle. "You're a bit less wrinkly."
Cockburn snorted. "I have a lot of years. She'd have to do a whole lot of licking to make me feel like a young buck again."
Hermione licked his face, her tail wriggling as she put her paws on his face.
"Okay, young miss," Cockburn said. "Let me put these caps on your claws just so you don't accidentally disease someone. When you both get your certifications, you won't have to have them anymore, okay?"
"Okay," Hermione said, thumping her paw against his nose.
Severus tolerated the measuring, spells, claw attention, and whatever else the wizard thought was necessary with a slight puff of his tail.
Tobias yawned lazily, already sporting his new identification tattoo on his ear, the enchanted collar, and a shiny, oily-looking coat of fur from a luxurious soak in the hot springs. "I never thought I'd get a real job as a Nundu," he said with a pleased tail flick.
"You can thank the little miss for that," Cockburn said. "Madam Bones sensed something there out your way because of her special magic—that's how most of us ended up here. We all had something a little different about us that fits in here."
Hermione and Severus weren't paying much attention, as they were taking turns at swatting a fat beetle that was trying to evade their paws—rather unsuccessfully. Hermione stunned it, and Severus delivered a killing swat, and they crunched it up together, sharing the tasty snack between them.
"Come on, now," Tobias said. "It's time to go, your mum is waiting." He scooped the cubs up in his mouth and carried their protesting but limp bodies to their new home.
James tried to knock the books out from the bookworm's arms just like he did with the red-headed girl, the other Slytherin boy caught them and sent a withering glare in his direction.
Smirking, he turned his head and fled, but in his haste he ploughed right into Professor McGonagall.
He stared wide-eyed at the elder witch, trying hard to look innocent.
"To my office, Mr Potter," Minerva bit out. "Right will be ten points from Gryffindor for your rude, antagonistic behaviour."
She turned to Severus and Hermione. "Are you alright Mr Snape, Miss Granger?"
They nodded silently. "Five points to Slytherin apiece for not responding to Mr Potter's blatant antagonism."
McGonagall drifted down the hall.
"She seems pretty fair," Severus said.
Hermione nodded. "Thanks for catching my books."
"It was nothing." Severus wrinkled his nose as they walked together to their next class.
"They're up to something," Peter said, watching Severus and Hermione as they walked towards the gates.
"They're boring," James snorted, throwing a stone into the water.
"I'm telling you, those two snakes are up to something," Peter whinged. "They get to leave and go somewhere every weekend."
"What? To the library?" Sirius said, his voice dripping with scorn.
"Come on," Peter said. "We should follow them."
"I've had my fill of the bloody library," Sirius huffed, dismissing him.
"Let me use the cloak then," Peter pleaded.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Remus said.
"Whatever," James said, shaking his head. "Just don't lose it."
Peter smiled. "I'll find out where they are going."
Peter shivered in the cold mud as he followed the two Slytherin snakes. They always did their homework and answered all the questions, taking away points from Gryffindor. He hated them so much.
He hated them even more because James was going to say he was right.
They'd gone into the gardens and weeded the Venomous Tentacula, harvested the fanged geraniums and giggling peach trees. They'd followed Kettleburn into the forest and helped him brush out the unicorns and collect their shed hair—they didn't even pocket any to make some extra galleons.
They were such ruddy suckups.
He nicked some of the hair they'd gathered just to make Professor Kettleburn think they had. He'd stomped on the stupid fanged geraniums, and he'd poured too much fertiliser on the Tentaculas so they'd burn their roots and wilt. He'd even set a fire under the giggling peach trees so they'd stop giggling.
Surely at least one of those acts would get those stupid snakes in trouble.
Some time later, they trudged back out of the damned swamp with a bucket full of fat leeches and gave it to Kettleburn to feed his precious Augurey chicks.
Finally, they seemed to be heading toward the Whomping Willow, and he waited gleefully for them to get pulverised—
Only they climbed up the trunk and sat in the branches as the stupid tree showered them in pollen. They collected a few handfuls of loose bark and patted the tree like a long lost friend.
Well, he was going to show them.
Since the tree was feeling so magnanimous, he was going to piss it off so it would blame THEM for the torment. He walked forward confidently, secure while hiding under the invisibility cloak. He readied his wand and pointed it to the branch they were on.
"Diffind—"
BLAM!
The Whomping Willow abruptly slammed down where Peter had been crouched and turned him into a bloody grease stain before hurling him towards Hogwarts where he crashed into a wall and his battered body slid down onto Albus Dumbledore's terrace.
Severus stared at Hermione as half of her was invisible. "You— seem to be missing your head and neck."
Hermione's hands appeared and patted around as she pulled something filmy off her head and chest. "Um, it's a cloak of some sort."
Severus' nose worked. "It smells like Potter, Black, and Lupin—but especially Pettigrew."
The Willow reached down its branches and took the cloak and shed pollen all over it and then shook it off, returning it to them.
Hermione sniffed. "Smells like the Willow now."
Severus shrugged. "We should give this to Madam Bones. Seems like an artefact."
Hermione nodded. "We're expected home anyway, it's Saturday."
Severus nodded back. He tapped the tree with his hand. "Can we have the way back to the DoM, please?"
The Willow moved its branches to the side to expose a crevice in the trunk.
"Thank you!" Hermione said, giving the tree a friendly pat.
The willow herded them into the opening and then closed the way once more before going back to being its normal, expected, overly cranky self.
"It's an invisibility cloak?" Hermione asked.
"And not just an ordinary run-of-the-mill invisibility cloak," Amelia said as she tapped her wand against it. "This is the artefact. It has a different, much stronger vibration than the ones created today. Here, cast the scanning spell just like I taught you."
Hermione and Severus concentrated together, waving their wands together as a blue light diffused from their wands over the cloak. Their eyes widened together.
"You see the difference."
The cubs nodded together.
"Good. Thank you for bringing me the cloak. I will place it in the Vault with our other more dangerous artefacts. Now," she said, "let me check your collars to make sure the enchantments were not scrambled too much by all that willow pollen. It likes you, so I doubt it will do anything, but we need to make sure."
They transformed for her to inspect them, and she carefully de-pollened them to check their collars. She tutted in satisfaction and then smiled. "Good. Willow still loves you."
The two cubs grinned, showing off their pearly canines with feline smiles.
Amelia finished with her spells. "Okay you two. Off home to bed. You have lessons with Master Morgan in the morning. I'll file the paperwork for the cloak and the willow's latest victim."
The cubs dashed off, tails curled against their backs as their spots disappeared into the dark.
Amelia yawned as Manfred's wing wrapped around her and yoinked her up to the ceiling. "Bedtime for you, my mate," he rumbled, nuzzling her.
"It's not my fault there is so much drama at Hogwarts," Amelia protested.
"Drama tomorrow," he purred. "Snuggles with me now."
Amelia sunk into his embrace. "Do I have to?"
The dragonbat chuckled. "Always."
Hermione yawned as she heard the sound of scratching outside her window, and she groomed her ears and whiskers with a few licks on her paw, then drew her paw over her head. She padded over to the window and saw Severus' black paws on the sill.
"Come on," he urged insistently. "Don't be late."
Hermione stretched and pounced on the ledge and pulled herself up. "Hold your knickers on," she complained.
Severus flicked his tail in annoyance but said nothing.
Hermione pounced on him from above and they tumbled into the leaves.
"You sleep so long," Severus complained.
"You wake up too early," Hermione countered.
"You never had a problem waking up early when you lived with us," Severus said.
"Well, it wasn't fair to your mum and dad to have a second cub under foot, and Master Oldive was kind enough to be my support while I am growing up at the DoM," Hermione said. "And he's teaching me how to use my healing breath more effectively."
"It wasn't like mum didn't love you to death," Severus said. "You gave her back her magic. Even Da likes you."
Hermione shrugged, a ripple of fur. "I get to see everyone all the time, though."
"I guess," Severus said, tail flicking.
Hermione licked his ear. "Come on, Master Morgan will eat all the mangos if we take too long."
"You're a horrible carnivore," Severus muttered.
"I'm a great omnivore!" Hermione proclaimed and she dashed off down the path between the trees, Severus hot on her heels.
"They did something to Peter, I know it," Sirius growled, slamming his hand down on the bedside table. The table flipped over and crashed to the ground, and James and Remus stared at him.
"He was convinced they were up to something and now just look at him!" Sirius exclaimed, gesturing wildly at Peter, who was wrapped from head to toes in potion-soaked bandages. "They haven't been here all weekend while Peter has been stuck here in the infirmary in pain and suffering!"
"They leave every weekend, Sirius," Remus pointed out. "They have ever since they got here."
Sirius righted the table with annoyance as Peter moaned deliriously.
"They might have a health condition—li-like me," Remus said, running a nervous hand through his hair.
Sirius jerked his head sharply. "I've never once seen them in the infirmary. And that still doesn't explain what happened to Pete!"
"He was beaten up by an extremely angry Whomping Willow, Mr Black," Madam Pomfrey said tartly as she checked Peter's bandages. "I'd recommend that the lot of you stay well away from that tree if you don't want to end up right next to Mr Pettigrew."
Sirius stared at the mediwitch in shock.
"The Headmaster put up much stronger protections and wards around the tree because of your foolhardy mate here, so whatever you keep whispering that you've lost was probably ripped to pieces by the willow." Madam Pomfrey flicked her wand, adding more potion to her patient's bandages and walked away.
"We have to go check the tree right now!" James said, his eyes wide and worried.
"You just heard her, mate," Remus said with a put upon sigh. "The headmaster placed stronger protections around it!"
"My cloak is out there!"
"It's probably been torn to shreds—"
"It's a family heirloom!" James stubbornly insisted.
Remus stared out the window, ignoring him.
"Oh, thank you," Pomfrey said in a relieved tone from the other side of the room. "How did you know I needed this?"
Sirius jerked his head up and clenched his fists
Hermione smiled as the grateful mediwitch accepted the jar of what looked like glowing sand.
"This will be perfect for Mr Pettigrew's poultices, please send my best to Masters Oldive and Morgan."
Hermione nodded.
"Here you go, my dear," Pomfrey said, handing her a small pouch. "Please give these to the masters to thank them for all their help. Go along now. I'm quite sure you have studying to do."
"Goodnight, Madam Pomfrey," Hermione said and dashed out of the infirmary.
Sirius saw Hermione meet up with the greasy git at the doorway, watching with narrowed eyes as she passed him the pouch which he pocketed with a nod before they left down the hall.
He stood and rushed over to the jar of glowing grains. "What a crock of shite," he exclaimed. "What is this, some sort of ruddy class project? Brown nosers, both of them!"
Remus stood up and snapped, "No, Sirius. That's for Peter!"
Sirius, having not heard what Remus did, scoffed. "I wouldn't trust anything they touched. They're just a pile of slimy Slytherin trash just like my stupid snake of a brother."
He looked to see Pomfrey had moved to the other section of the infirmary to tend to some homesick Hufflepuff girl having a breakdown.
He grabbed the jar, walked over to the open window, dumped it out and smirked smugly as he put it back on the shelf with the addition of a nicked Slytherin parchment.
"Care to explain what in Merlin's name you just did, Mr Black?" a new voice said angrily.
Sirius' eyes widened in horror as Professor Sprout stormed in, her grey curls covered in fine sand-like grains.
"What the—Pomona, why are you covered in the willow pollen grains for Mr Pettigrew's bandages?"
Sprout pointed a pollen covered finger at Sirius. "Mr Black would be delighted to explain why he dumped them out the window and onto me and earned himself fifty points from Gryffindor and detention with Mr Filch for the entire week."
Madam Pomfrey scowled as she used her wand to clean the grains off Pomona and guide them back into the jar. She picked up the Slytherin parchment between her fingers with a disdainful huff. "He can also explain himself to his head of house. Minerva will be fit to have kittens."
"You could have easily condemned your own mate to being crippled for life with severe, irreversible scarring and permanent nerve damage!" Pomfrey said sternly. "I want the lot of you out of my infirmary at once!"
James and Remus both gave Sirius seething glares of total disgust as they left the infirmary.
"And you, Mr Black, will immediately march yourself to the office of your head of house. Go!"
Hermione chewed on the end of the willow's branches, her sharp feline teeth working on the fuzzy catkins. The fuzzy outer shell made her mouth feel tingly, but the inner core was utterly hard and rubbery, so she chewed determinedly.
Severus worked on another branch doing much the same, clinging to the branch's bark with his claws as the willow bashed random squirrels and atomized an unfortunate robin.
Their teeth crushed and pierced the catkin's strangely hardened core, and a bunch of long stamens emerged from the fuzz and released their pollen onto the branches below where the female catkins awaited it.
"Dad says willows and Nundu have gone back from ancient times. That's why they love us so much," Severus said. "The chewing cleans our teeth and helps the willow release its pollen when the buds don't open by themselves."
Hermione chewed enthusiastically, always appreciating clean teeth. "Seems like a pretty safe place for us to be," she said. "The willow is a good friend to have."
Severus finished gnawing on his branch, and the grateful willow promptly shed a bunch of pollen into the wind while making sure to coat him with it as well. He sneezed violently, shaking his head.
"Most trees are either male or female. The Muggle ones, that is," Hermione said. "Magic trees must be extra special."
"Or just so rare they can't be bothered to rely on another tree being around to have baby willows," Severus speculated.
"Maybe," Hermione said. "At least Masters Oldive and Morgan said the pollen will help a lot of Unspeakables. It was kind of them to let us prepare some for Madam Pomfrey."
She released the branch she was chewing on, and it unfolded into pollen-laden glory and then, much like it had to Severus, coated her in a fine layer of pollen so she shimmered in the morning sunlight like she was covered in diamond dust.
Severus batted at her head with one clawless paw. "You look utterly ridiculous."
Hermione let loose a flurry of sneezes. "Pot meet kettle."
They both looked up to see a man struggling amidst the thick brambles, desperately fighting to work his way through them. The willow used its branches to let them down expediently and they bounded off, running toward the man in distress.
From the dense brambles, their ears picked up a frantic, high-pitched mewing—the sound of a frightened kitten.
The man grimaced in pain, his skin being badly cut and torn by the thorns.
The mews were frequent, and the more it happened, the more desperate the man seemed to become.
Hermione nudged Severus and he nodded. They brushed by the struggling man, lowering their heads and closing their eyes as they ploughed steadily forward, letting the brambles pierce their fur, but they did not break the skin. They moved forward slowly, the brambles crackling and moving to the side like they were trying to escape.
Mew!
They opened up their eyes to see a pudgy kitten desperately stumbling about, a bramble having pinned the little feline in place, the kitten only able to stagger but a little in random directions.
Hermione and Severus exhaled together, their breath combining, and the brambles seemed to shriek, slithering away as if they were fire.
The man was suddenly there, cradling the kitten in his arms, sobbing, utterly a mess. "I got you, Mrs Norris," he sobbed. "I got you, my sweet."
The two Nundu exchanged glances and turned to walk away.
"Wait!" the man said, staggering after them with Mrs Norris tucked securely inside his torn jacket. The kitten clung to his clothes with baby claws, having learned her lesson about seeking adventure.
Hermione and Severus turned to regard the man, who knelt down in front of them.
"I'm Argus," he said gratefully. "Thank you."
Hermione gently nudged him with her head with a purr and puffed a small cloud of blue-green vapour into his face.
Argus coughed, waving the vapour away, but when the fog cleared, he found he was alone with Mrs Norris. He petted the kitten with water in his eyes, but as his hands stroked her, all the mud and caked grass seemed to fall away from her fur like magic.
Argus blinked, looking startled. "I—I'm not supposed to be able to do that—"
"Mew," said Mrs Norris, licking his finger and purring up a storm.
"I'm telling you, Albus," Poppy insisted. "The man is a wizard."
"He's a squib," Albus said with a frown. "I hired him only because no one else would."
Mrs Norris was happily chasing the lights that bounced off a crystal suncatcher in the window, the small rainbows making her bat and pounce with determination.
"How is this possible?" Albus asked.
Poppy tilted her head. "If I have learned anything in working in a magical school treating both intentional and accidental magical mishaps this long, sometimes, magic finds a way."
Poppy walked out of the willow's hidden tunnel and grimaced as she heard faint screams coming from the Shrieking Shack. She stepped out of range of the Willow's enthusiastic whomping range and released her spell on the nodule.
The willow shook itself off and then promptly smashed its branches about a foot away from her. She glared at the irritable tree with resignation. She heard a soft churring chirp, and two shadows fell from the hidden dark of the willow and thumped next to her.
"Hello there, loves," she said as she gave them each a head pat.
The cubs purred and headbonked her sides together.
"Are you going to be warm enough out here?" she asked, shivering a little in the chillier Scottish air.
Hermione made a show of fake mauling Poppy's arm in response. Severus shook his head as if her manners were atrocious.
"I suppose you want your snack, hrm?" Poppy chuckled.
Hermione thumped her head on Poppy's shoulder as she pushed her whiskers into her face.
Poppy sputtered and shoved her massive head away. "It's hard to believe you're still growing. No wonder you're always buttering me up for snacks."
Severus purred, tail flicking.
"Alright, lovelies," she said. "I have your hutspot and worst in payment for your night's vigil." She pulled out two bundles wrapped in cloth.
The two Nundu gently grasped the bundles in their mouth and leapt back up into the willow with a great leap.
Poppy chuckled. "You tell Amelia that she needs to feed you more."
The cubs mrrred at her as they tore into their tasty prizes.
Poppy turned and walked back up the path.
"This is hardly safe, Madam Bones," Albus protested.
"Safer than having a potential werewolf escape," Amelia said, her lips pursed.
Albus' face puckered.
"Look, Headmaster," Amelia said. "I am not saying you cannot school Mr Lupin here at the school. He deserves an education like any other, but it's clear from the fact the Potter family heirloom was taken without permission and ended up here that there are things going on here unchecked despite your best intentions. My keeping agents here during full moons is only helping keep your students safe from possible harm from both a werewolf and their own insatiable curiosity. But—if you feel having two highly capable felines capable of hiding themselves from view is too dangerous, I will post Unspeakables here in full uniform regalia in plain sight and file the paperwork with the Ministry on why."
Albus flinched. "No, that will not be necessary."
Amelia smiled. "Excellent. Now, we can talk about suitable accommodations for my agents."
Tobias sprawled on a lowhung branch of the Whomping Willow as the cubs leapt and batted for his tail with eager determination. The willow swung its branches playfully, and they scampered up and off them to get a better advantage to pounce the enticingly alluring tail.
Nothing was quite as attractive as that fluffy tail tip, and Tobias seemed to know exactly when to move it out of their range. Even with their increased size, the seductive twitch of fur brought out the youngest cubhood out of them, and they had the right instinct over reason to pin down that ever-elusive fluffy tail.
Finally, Tobias seemed to have enough, and he pulled his tail up and tucked it underneath him, and the cubs scrambled up the trunk to sprawl on top of him.
"Have you finished your lessons and homework?" Tobias asked lazily.
"Yes," they answered him, seemingly affronted that he would ask them something so ridiculous.
Tobias chuckled.
"Da?"
"Yes, son?"
"Why do they think you're a Muggle?"
Tobias looked up at the full moon silently. He turned his head with a ripple of his shoulder fur. "I do not have the ability to use magic outside my breath," he speculated. "That makes me as worthless as one born without magic to a world that barely recognises other species as being sentient."
"That's so stupid," Hermione complained, taking it upon herself to groom Tobias' ears. Every so often they would flick and bap her face, and she'd pin it down with a clawless paw.
"People tend to underestimate us," Tobias explained. "Even your mother believed me a Muggle. It is frustrating to have a human, even if magical, mate because she is not immune to our breath. Even my breath given in a moment of concern or compassion."
"Why is my breath so different?" Hermione asked.
"All Nundu have breath that responds to the emotions around them," Tobias said. "Hatred makes disease all the more powerful, but you respond to pain by wanting to heal it, while those like me wish it to stop. That is my guess. I cannot be sure. I have never known a Nundu to have healing breath."
"Maybe her parents healed too?" Severus asked.
"Perhaps," Tobias said. "They have searched high and low for other Nundu that have lost a cub, but Amelia says she may have fallen through a time slipstream—all of which is over my paygrade."
Severus and Hermione exchanged glances and shrugged, tails flicking.
"But, that also means that many of these magical things such as wards have a very hard time blocking someone like me," Tobias said. "You can ward against a Muggle—make this place disappear to their eyes—but not to me, but you cannot block me as a human magical because I am not. Which is probably why Madam Bones is happy to pay and house me for life."
Severus and Hermione nodded with approval. "We like her," Severus said with Hermione bobbing her her in agreement.
"We get extra for guard duty," Tobias said with a chuckle. "So, who is this werewolf we hear?" His head cocked as his ears homed in on the distant sounds of suffering inside the shack.
"Lupin," Severus said with a gusty sigh. "He hangs with that gang we told you about."
"With that Peter Pettigrew, the boy the tree pounded?"
The willow seemed to puff up proudly at its whomping prowess, showering them with pollen.
"Yes," Severus said. "Pettigrew, Black, Potter, and Lupin are known pranksters, but they dislike Hermione and I mostly because we are in a rival house."
"Your house system is a bit strange to me," Tobias admitted. "No cub would have grown into their paws so young. They can become incredibly brave or wholly self-preserving all in the same hour. That doesn't make them any less who they are. We are all Nundu, but that doesn't mean we are all rampaging beasts like your Wizarding stories claim."
All three Nundu went silent, their heads on a swivel as they tuned in to the same sound. A young barn owl launched into the air nearby, and they all relaxed.
"So, instead of a secondary school, this is where magical children go?" Tobias asked. "Do they go to primary school like Muggles?"
Severus snorted. "No, purebloods do not. The wealthier purebloods have tutors and the poorer ones are typically homeschooled by their mothers. But the Muggleborn children do go to primary school until they are eleven. The DoM teaches their resident children in classes much like primary school until they're old enough for a magical school like Hogwarts or else are apprenticed."
Tobias shook his ears and wiggled his whiskers a bit. "Sounds a bit like how Nundu are either wild-raised or attempt to blend into human civilization. A wild-raised Nundu is more instinctive, but their hunting skill is more honed. I suppose that is why the magicals seem to assume Nundu are just savage beasts."
He sneezed. "What year is this for you both?"
"This is our fifth year," Hermione said.
"So, two more years for you to babysit your werewolf," Tobias mused. "What happens then? To the werewolf."
Severus wrinkled his muzzle. "I am not really sure. Lupin will probably go off and do what any wizard would do following graduation."
"This happen often? Will I be on guard duty after he leaves?" Tobias asked.
"He's the only werewolf student we know of," Hermione said. She itched her ear with one hind foot and yawned.
"How are your lessons with the masters going?" Tobias asked. "I've heard good things, but what do you think?"
"I love my lessons," Hermione proclaimed happily.
"They're okay," Severus said. "Potions is better, though."
Shrieking sounds came from the Shack, and all three Nundu flattened their ears together.
"I'm rather glad this only happens three times a month. My ears couldn't take this abuse every day," Tobias said.
"What assignment did Madam Bones have you on this last week, Da?" Severus asked.
"Watching her dessert cart for the conference."
Severus and Hermione exchanged puzzled glances. They had expected grand tales of glory and excitement.
"Never underestimate the determination of a starving magical person," Tobias snorted. "Especially highly trained hungry Unspeakables."
The cubs snickered together.
"Speaking of starving," Tobias said. "Amelia sent us a zebra through the tree. It's hidden in the passageway. You can go first. I had a fattened cow earlier today."
The cubs scurried off his back and into the willow passage between the branches, dragging the zebra out by the legs and tearing into it hungrily.
Tobias chuckled. "Cubs."
Wormtail perched on Prongs' head as they ran towards the Whomping Willow together, their plan to let out their friend from his carefully hidden prison in their minds. Padfoot led the way, ploughing a path through the tall grass with glee.
They'd been working together in secret to surprise their werewolf friend, determined to make his three nights a month on the howl a bit less torturous.
Having finally mastered their Animagus forms, the high of running free at night off the radar of prefects and nosy people, they stopped outside the Whomping Willow. They tested the wards in their animal form and celebrated their victory as the wards did not plan for their Animagus forms. Wormtail scurried off to grab the nodule on the tree that they'd watched Madam Pomfrey use when they'd still had the invisibility cloak.
Having lost the cloak, becoming an Animagus was the next best thing as no one suspected animals as being people, even other magical people.
Wormtail hit the node, and the tree was instantly paralysed. They moved in to find the hidden passageway and dashed in a blur of heady victory!
None of them noticed the trio of feline shadows lurking above them.
Having freed Moony, they merrily chased the werewolf out of the tunnel as he tore down the path to freedom.
As they ran behind him, the werewolf burst out from under the tree into the high grass, but a sudden loud yelp had them immediately freezing in the grass.
The path Padfoot had made in the grass was still open, but the grass was very high—so high that only Prongs was tall enough to see where he was going. His ears were working, but his wonky vision gave him a blind spot just in front of him. He had to turn his head from one side to the other to see everything. He stepped forward turning his head from side to side, ears flicking nervously as a surge of deer instinct flowed through him.
Danger!
Danger!
Danger!
Yet he couldn't see it.
Prongs squelched the deer senses, determined not to panic and bolt in some random direction like his instincts were screaming at him to do.
He stumbled forward through the tall grass until it slowly began to ease downward.
A whining yelp caught his attention and he turned his head to see Moony pinned to the ground as he struggled. The acrid scent of urine burned his sensitive nose.
Danger!
Danger!
No! This was Moony! He was his friend! He refused to succumb to his instinctive deer emotions.
But Moony suddenly found himself pinned down by a dark shadow.
His eyes struggled to make sense of it. The human in him said to look straight, but his deer eyes were built for side vision. He couldn't see what was there, only Moony's body flat on the ground with just his head on one side of his vision and his rump on the other.
The middle was dark.
He turned his head, and that was when he saw the glint of sabre-like fangs and glowing orange-green eyes.
But the moment there was no movement, he couldn't make out anything. He turned his head frantically. What was it? Where was it?
He backed up with an instinctive bleat as he heard Padfoot growl behind him—
A growl that was cut off abruptly by a pained canine yelp—
Wormtail squeaked in terror and leapt off Prongs' head and into the grass.
SQUEAK!
Prongs turned his head as he moved ahead, his confidence and high of being a successful Animagus starting to waver. Foreign instincts were starting to surge stronger, and he had to fight even harder to remain in control.
His ears flicked wildly as every sound seemed to assault him, a cacophony of chaos that he couldn't recognise. He couldn't change into his human form—Moony was out there, and he would attack anything that looked or smelled human.
He stepped forward and his nose was assaulted by the stench of urine and something else. Something he'd never tried to recognise before. It was a tang that made him want to run full tilt back to Hogwarts without his friends.
As he moved his head to the side to sweep his vision, he saw Padfoot pinned to the ground by a huge paw. His vision panned up to follow that spotted paw upward to an equally huge leopard-like head—only the eyes glowed an eerie sulphur-green, a combination of gold and green that seemed like gemstones set in a statue. There were phosphorescent green "dots" that were visible inside the ears as they flicked, that glow causing trails of light as they moved.
It was huge. Larger than anything he had ever seen in the Muggle zoo when he'd gone there on a date with Lily. If he could shrink them down to a more realistic size, his mind might have noticed they resembled the lanky almost-grown middle-time when cubs were not adults but they weren't small and pudgy and overly cute anymore.
That realisation didn't happen, however, because his mind suddenly focused on those green spots in the ears and the only creature known to have them.
Green spots in ears, wizards fear.
A silly little phrase from a childhood book on the bookshelf in his nursery.
"What's that, Daddy?" four-year-old James asked, pointing at the picture of a huge, spotted cat with green spots in its ears.
"That's a Nundu, son," his father replied. "It takes at least a hundred wizards to subdue one."
"Will I ever get to see a Nundu?" he asked.
"I pray to Merlin you never do," his father had said fervently. "Eldon Elsrickle once tried to tame a Nundu to protect his home's treasury—a stash of stolen goods. But, he failed to stun the beast upon entering, and it murdered him."
"But Dad, if it takes over a hundred wizards, why did Eldon think he could just stun one?"
His father had looked at him with a grim face. "Because he was an arrogant idiot."
James felt his heart crash into his stomach and proceed to flop around.
The Nundu in front of him had something tightly gripped in its jaws—
A worm-like tail dangled from between the Nundu's fangs.
The beast let out a puff of brown-green disease, and the limp form of Wormtail fell twitching onto the ground next to the disabled Padfoot.
It was then and only at that moment he saw the larger head of an even greater beast towering above its cubs—emerging from the grass like an enormous shadow he had not even sensed.
A low, vibrating growl shook the ground under him.
He was so utterly petrified that he didn't even notice that the Willow had become active once more, and a couple stout branches slammed into his head and back, pounding him into the ground as blackness swallowed his last conscious thought.
Albus Dumbledore closed his eyes as Amelia Bones stood next to him as he had been forced to admit that his students had outwitted his protections.
Unspeakables moved about in a frenzy, restraining the struggling werewolf with magical bindings as the young Nundu still had him pinned to the ground. One of the Unspeakables took the stunned body of a rat and cast a spell on it, revealing it to be a dirty mouse-haired teenage boy: Peter Pettigrew. As other spells came in contact with the dog and stag, they turned into the all-too-familiar forms of Sirius Black and James Potter.
Albus, not wanting to get too close to a confirmed Nundu, stood silently to the side as Amelia walked up like she was approaching any person and patted each Nundu on the head as if they were old friends. The larger, adult Nundu rumbled softly as she scratched under his chin, and the two cubs pounced her playfully as she shoved their heads to the side and rubbed their heads and massaged their ears.
"There now," she said soothingly. "Just let me make sure nothing is broken."
She inspected each of them from head to tail, even looking into their mouths, poking their paw pads, and feeling around in their fur.
Meanwhile, the Unspeakables confirmed the three boys (and one werewolf) were unharmed. Peter's body was bloody and torn, but his injuries were courtesy of the brambles he had fled into in a panic, not from the Nundu.
"What breath did you use on the rat, love?" Amelia asked as if inquiring about the weather.
The young cub let out a soft cloud of brown-green vapour, and Amelia let out a startling laugh. She handed the cub a piece of smoked jerky. "Oh love, you do make it look good, don't you?"
The cub purred, shoving his head against her shoulder. His tail flicked back and forth with a distinctive curl of "I'm not hunting" curving his tail across his back. The other cub pounced him, and they tussled over the ends of the jerky, making vicious growling noises.
Amelia didn't seem overly concerned as she checked in with her Unspeakables. "You are very lucky, Headmaster," she finally said. "It doesn't take much to see what a werewolf on the loose and romping around Hogwarts could do should a random student sneak out just like these boys did, only to find themselves as the human prey of a werewolf. My question is—"
Amelia narrowed her eyes slightly. "Were your wards that terribly inadequate, or were these boys simply skilled enough to release a werewolf on the grounds?"
Albus flinched at that. "I fear that I had not considered a need to ward against—Animagi," he confessed.
"Tch," Amelia said. "I will agree with you that such things are rare and unheard of until this point—at least with regard to self-taught skills. It says something about the talent of these boys but Animagus magic is also a very dangerous thing to be studying while untrained and unsupervised. We can only hope that these three have managed to retain their human minds with reversion. Nothing inspires one's innate animal instincts as much as facing a known natural predator. It was fortunate we were here to forcibly change them back before their minds were permanently altered. Or at least—did not degrade any further. We'll need to run a battery of tests to determine if there is any impairment in cognitive function."
Albus slowly rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
"How do we proceed from here?" he asked with a sigh.
"Mr Lupin will be taken to one of our secure holding areas for the remainder of the full moon cycle," Amelia said. "I will request that his custody be surrendered to us every full moon cycle via Floo. He will be permitted to return to Hogwarts after each cycle is complete. As for the others, once they are duly processed as illegal unregistered Animagi and tested to see if they have been overwhelmed by their animal instincts, we will allow them back into Hogwarts after the parents have been informed and fined appropriately. As for any charges they may be facing before the Wizengamot, well, that will depend on exactly what their memories tell us."
Albus sighed in resignation. "We will, of course, assist you in any way we can."
Amelia's smile did not quite reach her eyes. "Thank you, Headmaster."
"I don't think she likes me very much," Hermione said as she stirred the potion.
"Anti-clockwise half a turn, there, see? It turns emerald," Severus directed patiently.
Hermione didn't flinch as she did what he directed. Potions was a niche for him, and she never doubted when he gave her an instruction that it was the right thing to do any more than he doubted her when she had the "save someone/something itch."
Somehow, she had a sense of when something was in trouble outside of the natural predator and prey cycle. She'd saved a few centaur foals from quicksand that had been conjured by students in secret, led a lost child back to Hogsmeade from the middle of the forest—
They both had the skills they favoured and enjoyed, and as the years had passed, Hermione had been training as the DoM's Nundu healer-apprentice while Severus had used his instincts and keen senses to excel in potions.
"I'm not ready," Hermione complained as she poured their potion into the flask to turn in.
"Don't be ridiculous," Severus chided her. "You could ace your N.E.W.T.s with your paws tied behind your back. Don't tie your tail into knots over them."
Hermione grimaced.
Severus placed his hand on her head and thumped her gently. "Don't quibble," he said. "And of course she doesn't like you. You're getting better marks than she is."
"I don't think it's just about grades," Hermione said, clearly dubious.
"We're taking our N.E.W.T.s earlier than the rest of our year," Severus pointed out. "Our masters believe in us. Evans doesn't matter."
Severus read between the lines and thumped into her, pulling her into an impromptu embrace. "Hey, why is she bothering you?"
"Evans is just so beautiful and popular," Hermione said dully.
"Not to anyone that matters," Severus said.
Hermione snuffled into Severus' chest and then seemed to realise what she was doing and stepped away, her face flushing deeply.
A strange expression chased across his face as his brows knit together. A hint of her ears laid back across her head occurred as she picked up the unmistakable sound of snickering coming from the back of the potions classroom.
Slughorn dismissed his students, and people pushed their way past her in a rush to get to their next class.
Severus reached up to brush her hair away from her face, and at first, Hermione leaned into his hand but then she startled and staggered backwards, picked up her books, and fled the room.
Severus grimaced, confusion chasing across his face in various forms before he picked up his books and exited the classroom in a flurry of robes.
"I just can't understand her!" Severus complained in aggravation, practically throwing a book across the room. "She gets up close to me and then she flees like I'm toxic waste!"
Tobias grimaced and stared at the table.
Severus narrowed his eyes. "What aren't you telling me, Da?"
Tobias tried to say something, stopped, tried again, stopped, and then managed to look really constipated.
"What aren't you telling me?" Severus stared at his father with a tense jaw. "This is driving me mad! Does she hate me? Has she said something to you? Are we no longer friends? What's going on?"
"Uh," Tobias grunted. "Sit down. You're making this really difficult."
"I'm making this difficult?" Severus seethed. "She's the one getting her whiskers up in my face and then bolting like a hare across the moors!"
"I—don't think it's because she hates you, son," Tobias said, looking super uncomfortable.
"Then why is she acting like she hates my spots!?" Severus demanded. "Am I not Nundu enough? Spotty enough? Is my disease bladder too small? Are my claws not shiny enough?"
Tobias blinked, squinting. "No, son. I—look. When a Nundu reaches a certain age and really likes someone, they uhm, er—really like you."
"She doesn't act like she likes me!" Severus countered. "She acts like I haven't bathed in sixteen years!"
Tobias looked skyward and stared up at the ceiling as his adams apple bobbed. His mouth moved like he was saying something, but no sound came forth but an uncomfortable stutter for several seconds. Finally he sighed and said, "She's probably in heat and doesn't want to jump your bones, son. She believes that you don't like her like that."
Severus stared at his father blankly. "Come again?"
Tobias closed his eyes, counting to ten in Arabic—a language Severus hadn't even realised his father knew. "Look, son, her body is screaming at her that she needs a mate. Her mind realises that you've been the best of friends since you were little cubs, and she thinks you don't want her as your mate, so she's doing her very best to keep her hormones and instincts out of your life."
Severus gave his father a tortured look that resembled someone that had swallowed broken glass and had a fishbone stuck in his throat.
"Heat can last a few days to a few weeks—so she might be avoiding you until that instinct settles down for her," Tobias said. "And now, I'm going to a bar, have a few stiff drinks, and pretend I can actually get drunk."
As Tobias got up to do just that, Severus suddenly blurted, "But what if I want to be her mate?"
Tobias froze in place, his hands digging into the door frame with his claws. He let out a pale green cloud of conflicting vapour. "Find yourself a really noisy place, give her a good lick on the neck, and make sure to wear a Johnnie. And—bring her a really fat zebra, maybe a cow or perhaps —a bull hippo. The bigger the better, so, if you really want to impress her, always go with a hippo. Just take care to crush the skull before they can tusk you."
Severus stared at his father, his facial tic getting slightly more obvious.
"Okay, I'm going to go bury myself in a bog," Tobias said and walked out the door in a hurry.
Severus stepped up to the Portkey authorisation desk and said, "I need a Portkey."
"Time?"
"Right now."
"Place?"
"African savannah."
"Reason?"
"Dinner."
"It's still morning."
"And I have to hunt it down, slaughter any random scavengers that try to poach my hippo, fight whatever tries to impale me, and bring back a full entire carcass. It will take a while."
The man at the counter stared blankly at him as he handed Severus a manky-looking old boot.
Severus accepted the boot, noting the passphrase embroidered on the tongue, and stormed off into the departure area.
That night, the people of Hogsmeade were convinced whatever entity had possessed the Shrieking Shack had come back with a vengeance, and they all made haste to give the infamous haunted shack a very wide berth.
The next morning, two Nundus sprawled on the upper limbs of the Whomping Willow with supreme laziness as the carcass of the unfortunate hippo lay half-devoured at the base of the tree. A fine coat of pollen covered both Nundu and the carcass as well.
Hermione tucked herself snugly against Severus once more, none of the bolting attempts the previous week arising.
"Severus?"
"Hrm?"
"How did you know I'd like fresh hippo?"
Severus went still as a statue save for his twitching tail tip. "Lucky guess."
Hermione snuggled into him and was quickly sound asleep.
Severus made a mental note to always get Hermione a hippo like humans would give a box of chocolates, and then closed his eyes to sleep beside her.
Hermione walked out of the testing chamber in the Ministry and thumped into Severus with a soft whimper.
"Witch, why are you crying?"
"I was the last one out. I must have failed. I had to have botched everything!"
Severus' face scrunched a bit. "You're overthinking it. If you'd only stop second-guessing every answer and trust your first answer, you'd have been out of that room even faster than me."
Hermione, unconvinced, shook her head against his chest.
Severus turned her chin up and kissed her forehead. "You're going to be a healer. Second only to Master Morgan himself, who has a few thousand years of experience over you plus or minus whatever he did before 1500 BCE."
Hermione silently pushed herself even more snugly into Severus' embrace, utterly immovable in her depressive self-evaluation.
Severus sighed, pressing his hand to her curls and stroking them gently. "You're so insufferable." He stroked her back comfortingly. "Let's go get some tea."
Manfred Morgan, healer, dragonbat, one-time Mayan god of death, terror of the void and the darkness outside the range of the campfire, held his wing around the distraught young Nundu healer trainee with a look of consternation he usually reserved for "there's no cure for that, time to make something up."
Only Hermione's spotted tail stuck out from under his wing.
"She tried to hide under Master Oldive, but their size difference was a little comical," Amelia said. "Old man ended up riding the Nundu."
Manfred chuckled. "I can be glad of my large wingspan, then," he said.
Amelia chuckled. "She's still fretting over her scores."
Manfred stuck his muzzle under one wing and nuzzled the sulking Nundu. "Where is her mate?"
"Fulfilling at least a thousand dreams worth of potion orders that were lost at sea due to Marcus Beachum, that bloody incompetent excuse for a wizard," Amelia said. "Believe me, if I had trusted anyone else with a rush job when old Fabien is busy, I certainly would have asked."
Manfred chuckled. "Why is it we must cover for another wizard's incompetence? Should I rip out and eat their beating heart? You could get yourself a new shipping master."
"No, the paperwork involved would be ghastly," Amelia said with an exaggerated shudder.
"Pity," Manfred said with an all-fang grin. "I do so love a good trouncing and sacrificial heart combo."
"Stick to mangoes, love," Amelia recommended.
Manfred shrugged. "Those are at least easier to come by than fresh beating hearts," he mused. "Tastes much better too. Far less screaming and sobbing."
"Thank Merlin for that," Amelia said. "I'd rather celebrate with gingerbread yule logs with mango cream cheese filling than freshly harvested hearts, if you please."
"As you wish, love," Manfred said wickedly. "I will gladly lick the icing off you."
Amelia flushed crimson.
Manfred stuck his muzzle under his wing again. "Hermione, I know you've passed. You can stop contemplating a hundred years of doom and gloom for mistakes that I can assure you that you didn't make."
The pouting Nundu just buried herself even deeper into Manfred's side.
"She's worse than you ever were taking that absurd exam to prove you could be an effective leader of the DoM."
"I was stressed," Amelia pointed out.
"You're always stressed," Manfred countered. He flicked an ear and picked up something off the shelf with his teeth, shook it until it glowed, and thrust it under his wing with a comical sounding BOINK! "There you go, that should be proof enough of what I've been trying to tell you."
Hermione slinked out from under his wing as her paws patted around her head. Her eyes moved to stare upward, but she couldn't get a fix on it.
Amelia held out a mirror.
Hermione bonked her whiskers into it, blinking and squinting. She turned her head, moving it side to side and up and down.
There, resting upon her head, was a delicate laureled healer's circlet with healing snakes entwined in a perfect weave. In the centre was a shining opalescent gem that shifted colours like moving water, the sign that represented the healer's craft.
She sat down, her tail quivering.
"Do you believe me, now, sweetling?" Manfred rumbled.
Manfred then found himself with an excited Nundu attached to his back, furiously head-rubbing all over him.
Amelia chuckled. "Good kitty."
Severus carefully stirred the cauldron in front of him as Hermione added a dash of ground, dried mint leaves and a pinch of a sulphurous yellow powder.
He lifted his stirring rod, and the potion inside began to glow a vibrant gold colour, bubbled, and a golden fish jumped out of the cauldron, did a flip, and splashed back into the cauldron.
Hermione beamed at him, and Severus nodded, looking pleased.
"That's a fine looking potion you have there, you two," Slughorn said. "Five points to Slytherin for you both."
Severus went to fetch the flasks for the large batch of liquid luck, knowing that Slughorn was hoping to showcase their work to some very interested buyers. Hermione always made a great partner in brewing because she trusted his instincts but she wasn't completely clueless herself when it came to potions talent. But just as he yielded to her expertise in healing, she yielded to his in potions.
He took the crate of flasks off the far counter.
"No, Severus," Slughorn said, hastily rushing over. "Use these instead," he said, handing him a different crate with delicate crystal phials inside.
Severus nodded, taking the box. He knew Slughorn had some really important people he wanted to impress judging by the use of the highly coveted fine crystal phials rather than the standard issue glass ones.
As he turned around, he saw the rest of their class charming up the stupid little paper aeroplanes and animated butterflies they learned in Flitwick's class to amuse themselves in the potions classroom. They flitted around like an annoying paper garden, and while a part of him. Each of them fluttered around emitting colourful streams of sparkles and a variety of enchanted charms, and all seemed to have different elements to them in the students' attempts to outdo each other.
And then he saw it, just as Hermione turned to face him, a warm smile on her face. He returned it instinctively, relishing the feel of his healthy mate exuding the radiant flush of life. But then a faint glint of that shimmering powder and the even finer spark of fire crackling in the air as it went.
His eyes widened in that a split second of horrified realisation as Slughorn quickly slammed down a protective shield—but not before their shared cauldron exploded in a great golden BOOM of light and sound as Hermione's startled scream stabbed like a knife into his soul.
"Horace, what happened here?" Albus asked as he took stock of the massive amount of damage in the potions classroom.
"Snape and Granger had made a perfect Felix, Albus," he said. "It was so perfect. So golden. So beautiful. I went to give Snape my best crystal phials, and he took them. We turned around, and found there were all these paper aeroplanes and birds and what have you fluttering about the classroom. I think Snape saw it just as I did—a dusting of powder from one of the paper constructs. They like to add things to them to make them shimmer and sparkle—they're quite harmless, usually."
Albus frowned. "But you thought otherwise this time, why?"
Horace shook his head in dismay. "There was a fiery glint about this particular sparkle. It was the same glint I'm used to seeing when I use powdered Erumpent horn in a potion. I just acted on instinct. But—the potion violently exploded before my dampening field could fully take effect. I tried to shield the class first, but I'm afraid that Miss Granger was too close to the cauldron. Too close to the explosion, Albus. I'm sorry. I'm so terribly sorry."
Albus waved his wand and weaving tendrils of magic formed as the remains of an enchanted paper goldfish floated toward him, a trace of Erumpent powder still clinging to the paper.
"Where is Miss Granger now?" Slughorn asked worriedly.
"Mr Snape has moved her to the Whomping Willow."
"Excuse me, what?" Horace gasped. "How is that going to help anyone?"
Albus grimaced. "It's complicated."
Horace's face twisted in confusion. "Albus, the Whomping Willow is notorious's violent. Why would anyone take someone there?"
Albus sighed. "The healing pollen."
"Willingly given pollen? That's impossible," Horace scoffed. "Poppy and Pomona have been trying to get that cranky tree to cooperate for years now, and it's only given them grief and pain, and Pomona planted the horrible thing."
"It will if it is a known symbiotic species," Albus said.
"Your cryptic obscurity is really beginning to annoy me, Albus," Horace said with a scowl. "You know I don't like being left in the dark about such things, especially when it involves the safety of my classroom."
"I fear I cannot say," Albus said heavily. "And that is the truth."
Horace frowned. "Now I know it's serious."
Severus curled around his wounded mate as the willow dumped an extra heaping serving of pollen all over its favourite felines. The pollen seemed to settle over her fragile skin—her fur having been singed completely off in her human form even as it transferred to her Nundu form.
He had scooped her up and ran at top speed, carrying her to the tree in record time—barely even conscious of having moved from the moment she had first screamed to their arrival at the willow.
His instinct had been to get her to the willow as fast as possible.
Then, as reason settled back in, he had remembered to hit the beacon for the DoM to alert Amelia that something was not right.
His father, as gargantuan as ever, curled his bulky mass around them both, making the willow branch look strangely crowded. Amazingly, they didn't fall off. Somehow they all fit together. The magic of the willow was, as always, amazing.
He groomed his two "cubs" as always, bringing them comfort even when grown. Even though Hermione wasn't his daughter by birth, he had always done his best to watch over them both, and Severus felt a sort of relief that with Hermione as his mate, the bonds between them would not have to change much. Tobias would always be there for them however he could.
That was, in itself, amazing.
The muzzle of an irritated dragonbat pushed out of the portal hole in the tree, and the willow seemed to seriously contemplate as it figured out what to do with it.
Manfred squeezed out as if he were a mouse trying to squeeze under a door or fit in the space of a coin, ending up dangling by his feet above them as the willow dumped pollen on him—proclaiming, perhaps, that he was the willow's property too.
The dragonbat sneezed.
"Ah, it's been a while since I've tried to fit on a willow. Now, let's see what's happened to our lovely Nundu."
With great difficulty squelching his instincts, he "allowed" Manfred to snuffle his mate over, and the dragonbat's healing breath covered her everywhere even as she breathed it in.
Hermione opened her eyes to look around with confusion. "Wh-what happened?"
Severus' tail twitched agitatedly. "You almost died."
Manfred tutted. "Don't be dramatic, child," he admonished. "You were caught in a potions explosion—and for better or for worse, you and said potion are a bit stuck to each other."
Severus blinked as he watched Hermione's fur growing back in with a radiant, sunny golden glow—much like the Felix potion. "That can't be true—"
"Yes, well," Manfred said. "Since you and Tobias thoroughly groomed her skin before I came, I suspect you three will be the luckiest Nundu on the planet."
Tobias blinked but seemed too stunned to offer comment.
Manfred smiled smugly. "Oh, and, so will the tree."
The willow spontaneously developed a multitude of buds that burst into bloom and grew twice its size, rapidly expanding to a more than comfortable size for the extra large Nundu family and one oversized dragonbat.
Manfred chuckled. "Thanks for that, friend."
"I don't think luck works with me," Tobias said. "I have notoriously horrible luck."
The moment his words left his mind, there was a crack of Apparition as Eileen mis-ported to the wrong place, fell on top of Tobias, the both of them fell off the willow through a cloud of pollen, and Tobias landed first only to have Eileen slam into his back. He let out a large cloud of vapour in his surprise and it surrounded Eileen.
FOOOP!
An adult female Nundu stared back at Tobias—covered head-to-tail in pollen and looking utterly gobsmacked.
"Mrrr," Tobias purred. "Hello there, sexy wife."
Eileen let out a startled meow as her new feline hormones told her that Tobias was pretty damned sexy too.
"I hope he has a hippo handy," Hermione whispered in Severus' ear.
"I hope he remembered to bring his Johnnies," Severus muttered, licking his whiskers nervously.
Both younger Nundu tried to turn their heads in a polite attempt to ignore their highly interested elders.
Manfred cuddled a hamper that popped out of thin air, packed full of fruit-glazed popcorn and stuck his muzzle inside, digging in with gusto. "I'll be here all day."
Amelia sighed as the willow proceeded to poke her experimentally, perhaps unsure if the protocol was to whomp her or adopt her since she was in the typically human form most had seen her in but she smelled like Manfred's mate.
"Okay, so let me get this straight," Amelia said as she made a note in her folding notebook. "You brewed a cauldron of Felix for Horace Slughorn's class, and as you were going to get the vials, a paper construct flew over and dumped a bit of powdered Erumpent horn into the cauldron and it blew up on Hermione, but the rest of the class was protected from injury because Horace managed to get a protective spell off."
"Yes," Severus agreed.
"I think so," Hermione said. "I was unconscious at the time."
"And now by some strange fusion of willow pollen and Felix residue, you are now the luckiest Nundu on Earth."
"Nundus," Manfred corrected. "Nundu grooming habits kind of ensured equal opportunity luck distribution."
"And now we have one more Nundu than we had an hour ago," Amelia said.
"Mmm, yes?" Severus said.
Suddenly, Eileen dashed off into the forest with Tobias in hot pursuit, and the subsequent noises indicating a pair of very happy Nundus caused Severus to blush bright red under his fur.
"Lucky man," Manfred commented. He eyed his mate lustily. "If only I could be so lucky. Perhaps I should give Hermione a good grooming, too."
"I wouldn't mind," Hermione said, squeak-purring as the dragonbat duly worked over her ears and neck. She batted playfully at the dragonbat's muzzle with her paws as the happy willow dutifully dumped more pollen onto him.
"Tastes like mangoes," Manfred said appreciatively. "I approve."
He breathed a cloud of vapour on his mate. "Mrrr."
Amelia gritted her teeth.
"You love me, my mate," he rumbled lowly.
"That's hardly the point!" Amelia protested.
"I have many points," Manfred crooned. "But I think you should put down that book of yours and worry about yelling at idiots after we consummate our most gloriously overdue love for each other."
"But—" Amelia protested weakly, dragonbat ears poking through her hair.
Manfred licked her ears, and suddenly they launched off into the skies, chasing each other, her notebook falling to land on Hermione's head.
Severus sighed. "This hardly seems fair."
"Oh, I don't know," Hermione teased flirtatiously. "Now I have you all to myself."
Severus blinked. "Oh."
"Miss Evans, is there a particular reason why you chose ground Erumpent horn as your enchantment of choice while others in the class were using magical sparkles of a more harmless nature?" Albus asked, fully aware of Amelia's stern gaze cutting like lasers across his office.
"It sparkles best," Lily huffed, frowning. "I've always used it."
"And where, pray tell, did you happen to acquire such a rare ingredient?"
Lily frowned. "It's hardly all that rare. We keep a big jar of it in the girls' loo. It's used to make the shimmery makeup we use every day."
Horace's eyes widened. "What?"
"I think you need to show us this jar at once, Miss Evans," Albus said. "I will send Minerva with you to bring it back here."
Lily sighed. "Fine."
"It's not Erumpent horn, Albus," Horace announced. "It's powdered manticore horn. Very flame-y. Visually the same, but it doesn't blow up like Erumpent horn in dry applications—such as makeup that has a dry binder. It was banned from commercial use about a hundred years ago because if exposed to any kind of heated liquid, it blows up."
"People still liked to use it because it was much cheaper, and they labelled it Erumpent horn so it was believed to be a potions ingredient and thus not actively policed."
"Wait, they used explosive powder in makeup?" Albus asked, squinting at his potions teacher.
Horace shrugged. "It was extremely popular with witches back in the day. They used it to make eyeshadows and such. It was fine until, well—someone tried to make some sort of shimmery lip treatment and blew off most of their face."
Lily paled and gasped in horror.
"I'm guessing they hid that jar in the loo so they could continue making their eye powders and such, but somewhere along the way, people forgot that it wasn't really Erumpent horn. They also forgot why it was so dangerous. And judging by those little makeup books hidden in the loo—I imagine it's been like that for quite some time."
"So how do we deal with this?" Amelia asked, frowning. "By law, she caused serious harm to a fellow student and a registered healer of the Ministry. One is bad enough. Both would mean Azkaban."
Hermione was tapping her healer's circlet with one claw-like nail. "If I may say something, Head Boss of Me," she said formally.
Amelia nodded.
"I think that if her intent is proven to be innocent, that this could be a very unintentional crime. Something that could and should have been prevented a hundred years ago, but through concealment and subterfuge that occurred in the past, has compounded something dangerous into a threat unseen. It should not be treated with the same harshness as one wishing to commit serious harm or murder. Thankfully, due to my rather special constitution, I was able to survive the blast. No one was permanently harmed. True, had I been anyone else, this may have resulted in more dire consequences, but perhaps this is, as Master Oldive says, a cheap lesson. No one died, and we can all strive to do better tomorrow. We can save the lives of those students who were using it to create makeup unaware that it was a very dangerous recipe written in "code." We can thank luck or Merlin that the potion Severus and I made that day was not something more volatile or, say, the Death Potion used by the Magical Congress of the United States of America."
Hermione closed her eyes. "I would hate for a student's entire life to be ruined over an honest mistake before they have even taken their N.E.W.T.s. Now, if it is found that she had intent, then you can just forget what I just said, but—I would like to think that every honest mistake deserves a chance to prove it was not intentional."
She looked at Severus and smiled, and he smiled back at her in perfect understanding.
Amelia nodded. "As you wish, Healer Granger. We will wait for the Wizengamot to determine what Miss Evans' intent was. What happens after will be dependent on the results."
Hermione bowed her head. "Thank you, Head Boss of Me," she said formally.
"You are very lucky, Miss Evans," Amelia said. "Healer Granger has far more compassion than a drive for vengeance."
Lily's pale expression only compounded as she whispered, "Healer?"
Hogwarts Student Falls Into Atrium Fountain At the Ministry
Stone Fish Strikes Minister For Magic In Head
Minister Suffers Concussion
Clumsy Hogwarts Student Knocks Over Barrel of Magic-Sucking Leeches At Infirmary, Chaos Ensues
Hogwarts Student Accidentally Releases Cage of Madagascarian Shaving Sparrows Into Ministry
Beards Now Scarce As Newly Beardless Wizards Suffer Emotional Trauma!
Hogwarts Student Crashes into Punch Bowl At Annual Anti-Muggleborn Rally, Aurors Sent To Break Up Angry Crowd
Ministry Elevator Mysteriously Breaks Down For Hours, Trapping Employees and Visitors Inside
Severus set down the Prophet and sighed. "How does one person get into so much drama over the course of one day waiting for a Wizengamot session?
Hermione, having a cub moment, bat-bat-batted at a scurrying beetle that was desperately trying to escape her paws, but every time it buzzed upward, her paw would smack it back down to the floor. The beetle's frantic attempts to survive the onslaught, however, just caused Hermione to get all the more excited, and she smacked the poor insect around with furious swats.
Severus, unable to contain his instinctual need to join in, shifted, and they both chased and batted the insect around, tearing across the arboretum grounds, through the crowds, around the children—
Finally, in a move they had done so many times before for countless years, Hermione batted the tasty snack beetle into the air, and their jaws clamped down on the insect together—
A feminine shriek filled the arboretum as two startled Nundu found they each had one half of a screeching woman screaming her bloody head off gripped between their teeth.
Both Nundu let out a surprised cloud of noxious disease and promptly sat down, dropping the shrieking woman to the ground as a group of young students screamed in terror.
A young Alastor Moody stood silent and still, a half-eaten peach in his hand as his eyes scanned the scene before him. "Well now," he said after a long silence. "I suppose that does explain that rash of information leaks of late."
He pulled out a pair of magical handcuffs and a magic suppression collar, gesturing with his wand to put them in place without having to go into the cloud of yuck. "Rita Skeeter, you are under arrest. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in Wizengamot. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."
Moody eyed the two startled Nundu who were doing their best interpretations of a pair of sphinx statues.
All of Rita's hair spontaneously fell out into a pile of light blonde curls at her feet.
Alastor frowned. "That's new."
Prophet's Own Rita Skeeter Arrested As Unregistered Animagus!
Growing List of Illegal Activities Leads to Many Clueless Victims!
Prophet Sales Plummet, Dozens of Privacy Suits Threaten to Bankrupt Newspaper!
Rita Skeeter Plea Bargain Shocker!
Details Emerge of Dark Wizard Recruitment Rally at Malfoy Manor!
Rising Dark Lord "Voldemort" and Followers Arrested In Auror Raid, Charged With Multiple Counts of Torture and Murder!
"Severus."
"Lucius," Severus answered with a nod, gesturing to a table table where tea and biscuits awaited.
Lucius sat down with a shake of the head before slumping completely.
"Did Moody finish with you?"
"Thoroughly," Lucius said with no little satisfaction. "It's quite a relief, really. We all knew that my father was a right bastard, but I never dreamed that he'd force me to host a grand affair to witness me swearing myself to the Old Ways and the Dark Lord—holding Narcissa hostage, our marriage that is—if I didn't submit to his demands."
Severus brushed his hair back from his ear. "Seems like quite a few notable pureblood family members were apprehended there."
"Many from the most prominent families, yes. Bellatrix went first. Gleefully taking the Mark and swearing herself in service to her precious Lord. Crabbe, Goyle, Avery, Rookwood—so many pureblood scions pledged themselves that night. I was meant to go last. For the grand finale, as it were. My father ordered me to watch and grovel as he and his friends celebrated the occasion by torturing this group of young Muggles they'd kidnapped from some village pub. I can still smell the pervasive stench of burning skin, piss, shite, and vomit."
"What now?" Severus asked as Lucius sipped his tea.
"Father wanted a huge, ostentatious society wedding to prove to everyone exactly how rich we were, so—"
"So—?" Severus led him.
"So instead, Narcissa and I went to Gretna Green and got married this morning at sunrise," Lucius said in a rush.
Severus' eyebrows shot up into his hair. "You really hated Abraxas, didn't you?"
"I can't even begin to express to you how much I despised the old bastard," Lucius said grimly. "Now that he's enjoying the delights of Azkaban, I will no longer dignify him with the title of father."
Lucius sighed. "Since Abraxas is serving life, I'm selling the whole bloody estate and everything in it, and Narcissa and I are moving to France. I'll buy my mother a suitable cottage if she's so damned attached to Britain, but I'm a bit irritated with her at the moment for trying to get me to talk to someone about getting Abraxas off. She—"
Lucius slumped. "She can't imagine life without him, while all I can imagine is how wonderful the prospect of a life without him truly is."
Severus tilted his head. "You could always donate the estate to the DoM as a facility to train their Unspeakables in the search and detection of ancient Dark artefacts. They'd probably make the whole place unplottable and wipe it off the face of memory, so Abraxas would never be able to find it even should he get out on good behaviour."
Lucius hesitated in sipping his tea and then a slow, evil smile spread across his handsome face. "You might be onto something there, Severus."
"I'm still selling that damnable piano of his, though. Every last thing my not-so-beloved 'father' loved, screw what my mum thinks about it," he said darkly.
"Even the peacocks?"
Lucius paused. "Okay, I'm keeping those. I raised most of them from eggs."
Severus snorted.
"So, I know you are a potions master and Hermione is a certified healer—why are you two still going to Hogwarts?" Lucius asked.
"Looks good on paper if either of us want to guest teach at another school without us needing to explain a secret society buried beneath the Ministry," Severus replied.
"Point, I suppose," Lucius said. "I don't really see you as a teacher, though."
Severus grimaced. "I do not particularly like children, but Master Morgan tells us that there will be opportunities to teach specialist programs as guest professors at various schools, so I may do that to help encourage those that aren't dunderheads with better potions methods. As for Hermione—she has the circlet, and any healer knows what that means. You don't get one unless you've bloody well earned it. She'll have a much easier time getting her foot in the door, however—again, if she chooses to guest lecture, she needs to have a paper trail from the school she graduated from."
"Teaching seems like a bureaucracy that is truly worthy of any ministry," Lucius observed.
Severus snorted. "Seems so. Guest appearances are tolerable enough, I suppose, but I don't see either of us becoming full time teachers given our respective talents and work for the DoM."
"You never did tell me what your specialities actually are," Lucius said.
"No, I did not," Severus agreed.
Lucius raised a blond brow. "Fine, keep your secrets. You've certainly earned it after Hermione healed Narcissa's wounds."
Lucius stood. "I'll owl you with our new Floo address once we've moved."
Severus stood as well and they locked arms in a forearm handshake, but as their hands drifted away from each other, Lucius looked down to find something in his hand.
He tilted his head and stared at the tiny glowing phial. His eyebrow arched as he questioned silently.
"An extra bit of luck for when you wish to start a family," Severus explained.
Lucius' eyes widened, a rush of emotion passing across his face like a cloud. "You're a good friend, Severus. I wish that I had been a better one to you."
Severus' lips twitched slightly. "You owe me nothing."
"So, when are you two getting married?" Lucius asked.
Severus blinked in confusion. "We are?"
Lucius arched a brow. "Did I miss the wedding?"
Severus blinked. He shifted with discomfort. "She accepted my hippo."
Lucius stared. "And what exactly does a witch do with a hippo?"
"Eat it," Hermione said cheerfully, leaning in to kiss Severus on the cheek. "Hello, Lucius," she said as she headed out to the clinic.
Lucius' look of mortified horror was hard to disguise.
"Why would you do that?" he blurted.
Severus scratched behind his ear with his fingernails. "It, erm, got her in the mood to not rip off my face."
"I never took you for the violent sort," Lucius said, now eyeing his younger friend with just a touch of trepidation.
"Would it help if I said I only think violent thoughts if someone threatens my mate?" Severus asked.
"Partially," Lucius replied with a small nod. "Frankly, I'm a bit concerned that you seem to treat your wife like an animal."
Severus' lips curved upward slightly. "We're all animals, Lucius. My mum and da are most definitely animals."
Lucius' eyes widened. "I don't need to know about your parents' consummations, my friend."
Severus' great enjoyment of his friend's discomfort became more and more obvious as Lucius shifted about uncomfortably.
Severus grinned as Lucius exited the living chambers.
Eileen leaned against Tobias as they enjoyed the shade of the DoM Arboretum together. Eileen flipped through her tome as Tobias shuffled through a dossier for his next assignment.
Suddenly a great thunder of padded feet came barrelling full tilt through the fruit orchard as a mischievous Nundu came tearing by, dragging a screaming blond wizard by the collar of his expensive Italian-made robes.
"OH-MY-GODS-SEVERUS-WHY-DIDN'T-YOU-EVER-TELL-ME-YOU-WERE-A-SODDING-NUNDU?!"
Tobias calmly flipped a page and passed his wife a tall glass of iced lemonade.
Eileen sipped her lemonade with great enjoyment, paying no attention at all to the ruckus.
"Cubs," Tobias said with a sigh, sipping his drink.
Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore Nearly Drowns!
New Graduate Accidentally Sets Dumbledore On Fire and
Affixes Him To Startled Giant Squid With Overpowered Permanent Sticking Charm!
James walked up to the dour-looking wizard standing with a familiar bushy-haired witch as the pair observed a scene of utter chaos from alongside Black Lake.
Aurors were swarming all over the grounds as they fought to extricate the screaming and still-flaming Headmaster from the grip of a panicked giant squid. Meanwhile, a red-faced and mortified Lily Evans was attempting to bury herself in the mud to disappear as an Auror frantically scribbled notes on a pad.
"Severus," James said cautiously.
Severus turned to regard the other wizard, a twitch of his lips the only indicator of an instinctive need to maim someone.
"Yes, Mr Potter?"
James' eyes widened as he realised Hermione was wearing her healer's circlet in plain sight now that they had graduated, and Snape—Severus—was sporting his mastery pins on his collar.
"Look, I know we haven't ever tried to be friends, but I really need your help—um, professionally. I'd be willing to pay you, of course. I've tried getting other places to help me, but all of them said that if I want a potion to help me, I need to go to you."
Severus turned his head slowly to level an umbral gaze at James. "Are you having problems getting it up, Potter?"
James flushed crimson immediately. "No!"
Many curious eyes looked toward him, and James gritted his teeth until they turned back to watching the Headmaster getting forcefully power washed by the squid.
"No," James repeated more firmly. "Look, I need a luck potion—for Lily. She's meeting my parents soon, and I don't want—I don't want her accidentally blowing up my house, setting mum and dad on fire or getting them spin-washed by the squid."
"You do realise that a luck potion for something perpetually unlucky will mean she has just normal luck, yes?" Severus asked.
"That's better than—" James lowered his voice and gestured towards a vainly struggling Dumbledore, still clutched tightly in the grasp of an extremely clingy squid. "Well, that."
Severus arched a dark brow. "Has Evans taken any other potions recently?"
"No."
"Are you absolutely, positively sure?"
"She hasn't told me anything," James said truthfully.
Severus sniffed. "Would she?"
"OF COURSE, SH—of course, she would," James said, hastily squelching himself.
Severus straightened his shoulders. "It will be a hundred galleons plus the cost of all materials and reagents, and I will need a hair from Miss Evans. Is she a virgin?"
"That's none of your bloody business!"
Severus, impassive as stone, coolly replied, "Feel free to find someone else who doesn't ask the uncomfortable questions and accidentally turns your paramour into a flobberworm. I can guarantee that when you show up in the Ministry's in-house clinic and my wife treats you or Miss Evans, she will be asking very uncomfortable questions that are far more embarrassing than the state of your virginity."
James took a slow, steadying breath. "No. She's not."
Severus took a parchment out of his pocket and quickly scribbled on it. "This is a list of ingredients I will require from you. I will provide the rest. When you drop off the ingredients to the Ministry, we will sign the contract, and my work will begin. Is this acceptable to you?"
James glanced over to where Lily was wildly gesticulating at the Auror and a piece of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum flew out of her hand and slammed into the stone fence, and it fell over like a drunken Niffler. "Yes, it is."
"You must write down every single potion she may have taken in the last month or the balance on the potion will not be correct. When you sign the contract, it will state that I am not to be held accountable for what might happen should you leave anything out or use the potion against my directions."
James nodded, snatching up the paper with all due haste. "I'll bring it, I promise."
"You can have the goblins transfer the fees directly to my Gringotts account," Severus said.
James closed his eyes and nodded again. "I will."
"Master Snape, Master Snape!" a young redheaded wizard cried, running up to him wearing messenger colours from the Ministry.
"Yes?"
"Master-Healer Snape said to tell you that she's craving fresh hippo!" he exclaimed.
James' eyes widened as Severus' genuinely smug smile spread across his face.
"Tell Master-Healer Snape that her wish is my command," he purred.
Severus handed the messenger a coin, and the messenger ran off again to deliver the message all of thirty feet away to the edge of the lake where Hermione was still standing and watching the show.
Meanwhile, the squid continued to "wash" the headmaster very thoroughly.
"She sent you a messenger from over there?" James asked, looking baffled.
Severus smiled even more smugly. "Trust me, it's better that she stays over there when she's craving hippo."
"Is that some sort of weird code?"
Severus' smile widened. "No."
Crack—he was gone.
When Severus had finished brewing Potter's custom potion, he walked out of the laboratory to find Regulus Black—proper, utterly neat and always fancily dressed Regulus—pressing his head to his mate's foot.
"It's okay, Regulus," he heard Hermione say so very softly. "Of course I'll go and check. You need not abase yourself at my feet."
"There's something wrong with him," Regulus whispered raggedly against her skin. "At first I only thought he was being paranoid. But—I'm starting to think they are both under some sort of spell. Something the Dark Lord left in order to ensure I would come to heel."
"Regulus?" Severus asked as he walked in. "What's going on?"
"Regulus thinks his parents may be under some sort of spell and even a potion," Hermione filled him in. "They talk of him taking the Mark of the Dark Lord, but they act as if he's not in Azkaban. His father is becoming incredibly paranoid, warding the house against Muggles who have never bothered him before. His mother has turned into a raging zealot against anything that isn't pure."
Severus frowned, helping Regulus to his feet. "That doesn't sound like your parents at all."
Both Severus and Hermione had met Regulus' proud but restrained father after the Wizengamot session for their elder son, Sirius. While Walburga had remained upset but restrained, his father had thanked them for not killing their son outright. It had seemed—at least at the time—that he was understandably annoyed with his son's churlish behaviour but not at all paranoid.
"We should do this right," Severus said. "The Head Boss of Us should be informed and we should take a team of Unspeakables with us, just in case there is a trap we have not been able to sense."
Regulus looks mortified that Severus would even suggest it was a trap.
Severus held up a hand. "Not you, Regulus. On them, your parents."
Regulus' eyes widened in horror. "It's even worse than I thought?"
"It could be," Severus warned. "We have no way of knowing as of yet, but, if someone is powerful enough to put that strong of a compulsion on two members of a very powerful magical family, then they are probably powerful enough to protect their spell from discovery with another more insidious one."
"But, you can help them?" Regulus asked, his voice seeming so small against the crushing waves of despair. It was a child's voice. A child who desperately wanted his parents to be okay.
Hermione put a comforting hand on Regulus' shoulder. "We will do our absolute best. That I can promise you."
Severus nodded. "Let me leave this potion for Potter at the reception desk along with the accompanying paperwork, and we can go talk to Madam Bones and swear you into secrecy under Oath. If we are going to bring a team in for this, she needs to know everything we are doing or she will set our tails on fire."
Regulus tilted his head. "Good thing you don't actually have tails," he said quizzically.
Severus smiled darkly. "Give it time."
"Lucius said before he left that he'd had a world-shattering epiphany, but he wouldn't tell me what it was about," Regulus said thoughtfully.
Severus smirked. "He will not be alone in this for long."
Regulus' various facial expressions told so many stories about his fragile state of mind. "Okay."
The first thing Severus noticed as they walked into the Black residence was an eerie, ominous silence. Even the array of family portraits were unnervingly quiet. While he'd never been there before, Regulus had always spoken of them—how very nosy they were. How utterly annoying.
He saw them, even saw them moving, but yet there was no sound.
The senior Unspeakables moved out first, as was their job, sending out scans to find the hidden traps that could entangle us as we hurried in one direction or another. Nothing was worse than seeing someone in pain that they wanted to help only to run straight into a trap—
It had happened before, many a time. For a compassionate agent, it was extremely hard not to have a knee-jerk reaction and instantly attempt to help someone, and many of the Darkest wizards and witches counted on your "pathetic weakness."
While Severus and Hermione were not low-ranking agents by any stretch, they knew their place in the chain, and that regimental ranking kept things organised so everyone knew their job. No one would question in a pinch whose job it was to do what.
Also, both Severus and Hermione were used to being the last ones to enter—partly so the more experienced ones went first but also, in the case their massive feline supernatural force was needed, they could act as the last resort. They never questioned it—never once believing they were above such rules. It had been drilled into them as very young cubs that Tobias had known what was best for them—that their elders were to be relied on to do their best not to send them into situations that they couldn't yet handle. Their apprenticeships as well as the insistence that they both experience Wizarding school as well as complete it had instilled that layers of education quality to their upbringing—to trust those who had experienced more to help them sort out their feelings and thoughts.
Even their embarrassing biological needs, however horrible it had been at the time to even bring up.
Severus had to admit he was feeling super protective of his mate, too. Their last few couplings had been without protection, and there was a good chance she was laden with cubs—which triggered every protective instinct he had and multiplied it by Avagadro's number. He'd brought her back a very fat, healthy hippo, and she'd been so very amorously grateful. So much so, that he was pretty sure there were going to be cubs.
As in plural.
He was proud, of course, and utterly terrified.
There were so many instincts to juggle, and he was triply glad that Master Morgan had thoroughly drilled them in structured mind-magic, shielding such as Occlumency, and whatever else he thought they needed.
As they moved forward, they entered a side room where it looked like someone had taken burn spells to the wall. Scorching holes marred what might have once been a beautiful tapestry.
The Unspeakables gestured with their hands that this room was, despite what it looked like, safe to stay in, and Severus and Hermione took a moment to examine the damage.
Regulus let out a gasp as he saw his name labelled on a flask where a disturbingly metallic pink liquid sloshed within as if it were trying to escape the cork—right next to another flask with "Sirius" written on it.
Severus gestured to Hermione while making a hand signal, and she nodded, passing her hand over it to carefully waft the scent over to her. Her head jerked up and she signalled, clearly, "Amortentia."
One potion any healer was well aware of—so many idiots tried to love potion their way to success, and was one of the few potions that any healer would run across multiple times while studying. There was always someone under the influence in one way or another.
While Severus was familiar with a longer list of both common potions and complicated potions combined, as healer, Hermione knew which ones brought people to the clinic the most. The most notorious and insidious ones—the ones that affected a patient's treatment.
Any basic healer could repair a broken bone or treat a general potion explosion, but the specialist healers at the DoM had to treat whatever an agent might run into unexpectedly in the field.
Or deliberately in the case of traps.
She swiftly finger-spelled something to Severus, and he narrowed his eyes at the other flask marked "Sirius." She'd seen something that was a bit more complicated than what she was accustomed to, and that set his ears flat against his head even in human form.
"Subjugation potion," he signalled back to her. "Extremely volatile. Don't even touch it."
"Affirmative," she signalled back as she spread the evaluation to the others.
Seemingly in a daze, Regulus reached out toward the table, and Severus hastily tackled him, immediately clamping a hand over his mouth and jerking him back.
"COMPULSION!" he signalled with a sharp jerk of his hand.
Hermione made a complicated series of motions with her hand and plunked her fingertips to his forehead.
Regulus' eyes rolled back as he slumped onto the Persian carpet he'd been standing on.
She sighed with a grimace.
"Sorry," she gestured, knowing he would have no idea what she was saying even if he'd been conscious. She shook her head at Severus, and he shrugged, casting a binding spell on Regulus to keep his rump, legs, hands, and whatever else out of trouble.
It was obvious that the Black family had a whole lot of shady going on—and didn't particularly care if it subjugated its own members.
Severus gestured at the wall, and Hermione nodded, using her wand to run a trace as they analysed the heavily scarred wallpapers and tapestries.
Suddenly, she seemed to realise something, and she gestured sharply with one hand, and immediately, every Unspeakable on scene seemed to step into the shadows and vanish.
"You promised me results, Kreacher," Cygnus growled at the house-elf before him. "I did not pay that brewer over a thousand galleons to ensure the Black bloodline stays pure for you to fail.
"Kreacher gave poison to both Orion and Walburga as ordered," Kreacher grovelled as he kissed Cyngus' boots. "Sirius has been detained by the Ministry. Walburga burnt him off the family tree and kicked him out. Regulus has not yet returned home."
Cygnus grabbed Kreacher by the throat. "That is not a good enough reason," he said, choking him with one hand. "Our blood MUST remain pure! ALWAYS pure! I am sick and tired of Orion being lenient with those of our blood! Allowing LOVE to bind our bloodlines. NO! There is no room in our noble house for such sickening weakness!"
Cygnus carefully examined the flask of potion marked "Sirius" and set it back down. "That bloody Orion believes in free will and love over purity, and he dilutes our essence. That which makes us strong. He actually encouraged my Andromeda to marry that Mudblood TRASH because they loved each other. He corrupted my Andromeda. He tried to tell Druella that it wasn't MY RIGHT to tell my wife what she was obligated to do! NO! I will tear his house apart by ensuring his beloved children are bound via a properly pure marriage as all of us SHOULD be!"
Cygnus suddenly noticed an unconscious Regulus securely restrained on the floor and smiled evilly.
"Excellent." He took the potion off the table and broke the seal as he stood over Regulus' prone form. "Kreacher, go make sure my dear cousins are still decorating the wine cellar."
"Yes, Master," Kreacher grovelled, staggering and raising his fingers to snap them.
Cygnus grabbed the house-elf and shook him by the throat, roaring,"DO NOT USE MAGIC IN FRONT OF ME, SLAVE!"
"Of course, most glorious Master!" Kreacher said, bowing obsequiously and then scuttling out of the room.
Cygnus pushed the flask to Regulus' lips, jamming it to his mouth where it clacked against his teeth. He snarled as he tried to manipulate the boy's jaw to allow the potion to dump into his mouth.
There was a loud WHUMP! and Cygnus watched in shock as Kreacher staggered back into the room, surrounded by a swirling cloud of purple-green disease. The house-elf coughed and choked, frantically attempting to fan the fumes away from his face.
A darkened shape walked in behind the tortured elf, even as the elf's body was shrivelling and pulling in on itself as all magical pathways were being purged—the connection to his magic shorn away.
The darkened face of Orion Black stood over the shrivelling husk of his traitorous house-elf. "You—dare to interfere with MY family for your own twisted whims? You poison me and my beloved wife, tainting us against our own children by force? By the Old Ways, the sentence for such treachery is death. Free will and the choices we make are what separates us from the basest of animals—and even the wildest beast has a better family life than the likes of you, Cygnus."
"You!" Cygnus hissed as he pulled a dagger out from his robes and pressed it to Regulus' neck. "I don't know how you got free from my little gift, but you're going to go right back under if you don't want your son's lifeblood spilled all over this floor.
Orion's grimace was a cruel smile. "I don't think so."
"I'll do it," Cygnus threatened, drawing a tiny bead of blood on Regulus' neck. "You are ruining our noble house! I will set things right! I thought that Tom Riddle would get you to see the light, but I see you need more convincing!"
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Cygnus' face wrinkled in surprised confusion as something hot and wet fell onto his head to trail down his face. He pressed his fingers to his face and drew it back, staring at them.
Confused, he looked above him—
To see the wide open jaws of an enormous greater Nundu but millimetres from his face.
Ffffoo!
Tobias huffed as a cloud of his virulent disease shot into Cygnus' mouth and nose.
Cygnus let out a shocked yell and started to gasp and choke as he fell to his knees, twitching and writhing in agony.
Shadows moved as the team of Unspeakables stepped out of them. Amelia appeared from behind the shadowed curtains, a grim look on her face.
"Cygnus Black, you are under arrest. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in Wizengamot. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."
From the hall, a shaky Walburga Black stood between two younger Nundu, using their large bodies to prop herself up as she attempted to shake off the lingering effects of her subjugation.
"Master!" the withered elf cried as he fought to drag himself toward Cygnus. "Master! Help me!"
As Cygnus felt the last dregs of his magic leaving him, he used the remnants of his waning strength to kick Kreacher into the hearth as the flames roared to life as Fiendfyre, swallowing the screaming elf utterly.
"Useless little cretin," Cygnus spat as the convulsions tore through him. "You are ALL useless!"
Hermione padded over to Regulus and blew a pale blue cloud of vapour at him, and he roused groggily. He touched her muzzle, tweaking her nose drunkenly.
"Oh, hello there, pretty puss," he babbled inanely, and then fell back to the floor in a graceless heap.
Amelia sighed as she gestured to her Unspeakables. "Catalog and clean up this mess. Get that piece of filth out of here."
"Ma'am," the agents said together.
"And you, Nundus," she added.
The three Nundus raised their heads.
Mrrt?
"Good work."
Dark Lord Attempts Breakout From Azkaban Using Dementors!
Withered Husk of Still-Alive Dark Lord and Death Eaters Found Drained of All Magic
When Aurors attempted to move the charged Tom "Voldemort" Riddle and his cohorts in conspiracy against the Ministry of Magic from Azkaban to the Wizengamot, the wizards and witches attempted to break out using Dementors as their allies in mayhem. However, when a strike team of Unspeakables arrived to reinforce the Aurors, the Dementors quickly turned on the Dark wizards and witches and stepped aside to allow law enforcement to take over.
The man known both as the Dark Lord and Tom Riddle threw himself into battle with Aurors, cutting through a number of them but reached a bottleneck when Unspeakables were blocking the only exit out. When reinforcements arrived again, they found Tom Riddle sobbing uncontrollably of his (also sobbing) coconspirators, wailing that the regret they felt for their actions could never make up for their crimes and they deserved to be in Azkaban forever. Even more strangely, not one of these prisoners had a drop of magic left in them.
"This is what we deserve!" was heard throughout Azkaban as the Aurors restrained and sent them off for their Wizengamot appearance.
All accused pleaded guilty, and they have been sent back to Azkaban just in case their magic should return.
Questions arose as to what had caused Dementors to turn their backs on the Dark Lord's army. Rumours claim that they followed some bushy-haired agent out of Azkaban carrying a full tea service assortment of drinks and snacks. The Minister For Magic has dismissed such rumours as utterly ridiculous.
Whomping Where?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has reported that their Whomping Willow has mysteriously gone missing. Anyone who happens to see it is asked to report it to authorities to ensure its safe return.
Cygnus Black Arrested, Charged With Using Potions and Forbidden Magic to Subjugate Family Members Into "Proper" Pureblood Marriages
Family Head Orion Black Carves Cygnus Black out of Black Family Magic, Bestows All Remaining Assets on Wife, Druella
"She what?" Tobias said blankly as Eileen dropped the teapot in shock.
The Ministry page swallowed hard and shoved the scroll into his hands.
"It's all right there, sir. It seems Druella Black sold off the entire estate, took out enough to move to Australia, deposited her original dowry back in Gringotts, and gifted all the rest to you, her official saviour from the yoke of Cygnus Black—erm, Cygnus No-Name, that is. She stated that nothing could be more appropriate than awarding an official Muggle the majority of his fortune."
Tobias was still as a statue save for the phantom of his tail twitching along with his whiskers. "What is a Nundu going to do with that much—anything?"
Hermione, who was repairing Eileen's teapot with magic as her nearby Dementor held the pieces for her quipped, "If I may recommend, maybe you can start a Whomping Willow preserve and an, erm, hippo farm."
Tobias' eyes slid to the side to gaze at his loving wife. "That could work."
Time passes…
"Tobias Manfred Snape," Hermione huffed. "You let go of your sister's tail this instant before she claws up your face."
The young Nundu cub sulked as he reluctantly let go of his sister's tail. "Okay, Mummy."
"Now, both of you get your robes on for Hogwarts," Hermione said briskly, clapping her hands. "It's not every day you get to ride the Hogwarts Express for the very first time."
"It's way more fun to ride on Uncle Manfred," her daughter complained.
"Yes, well, Tabitha," Hermione chuckled. "Riding a dragonbat to Hogwarts is not exactly traditional."
"It should be," the cub pouted.
"Give it a chance," Severus said, his arms crossing. "When your mum and I rode the Hogwarts Express for the first time we met your Uncle Lucius."
The cubs perked. "Really?"
"Mmmhmm," Severus said, nodding. "Lifelong friendships can start there. Don't let your chance slip away."
The cubs scurried to get their things together in a flurry of paws, claws, and fur.
Severus and Hermione exchanged shakes of the head as they tapped the pins on their collars to change their uniforms over to look like casual Muggle clothing for the first leg of the journey.
"Toby! Tabby! Are you ready?" a voice called from outside.
"We're coming, Sebastian!"
A black-haired child stood outside the door and smiled. "Do I look okay, Auntie?"
"You look very handsome, Sebastian," Hermione said approvingly. "Where are Tobias and Eileen?"
"Dad said there was a hippo crisis, and I should come to you," the cub complained.
Hermione chuckled. "Well, can't have that," she said, straightening his robes. "Here you go. I brought one for each of you. Tabby and Toby already have theirs."
Sebastian's eyes widened. "A Whomping Willow sapling? For me?!"
Hermione nodded. "You should be sure to plant it near water but not too close to Hogwarts, otherwise they'll get cranky, okay? Find a place together and plant them in a group."
"Yes, Auntie!" the cub cried excitedly, giving her a hug. "I've never seen a sapling before. Mum and Dad's forest are all grown!"
"Well, our beloved willow had some babies, and they are very willing to accompany you," Hermione reassured her nephew.
Sebastian chewed on the willow's little buds with his teeth, and the willow sapling spontaneously flowered and let off a puff of pollen. "We'll grow up together!"
As her cubs came out all dressed and ready, Severus herded them all out to the Apparition point outside. "Alright, let's go."
As Hermione and Severus stood watching their cubs move onto the Hogwarts Express, Lucius joined them as Narcissa fussed over making sure Draco's hair was perfect and his collar crisp.
"Mum! Stop!" Draco said. "Someone will see you!"
"Well they will see someone who cares very much that you look presentable!" Narcissa tutted.
Draco scrunched up his nose and squeezed out from her grasp, grabbed his owl cage and suitcase and fled toward the cubs. "Wait for me, Tabby!"
"Hurry up, Draco! We saved you a seat!"
Narcissa frowned as Lucius pressed his lips tightly together in a half-suppressed smile.
"He'll be fine, darling," Lucius said.
Narcissa looked unconvinced.
"No one is going to mess with him," Hermione said to Narcissa. "More than once, anyway."
Severus stifled a laugh as Lucius snickered.
As they watched students filing into the Hogwarts express, they all stared silently as a huge gaggle of red-headed children all fought to get in the same door—some from one family, some from another. They were tangled up together in a squirming cluster of red and orange hair, all save for one mop-headed boy with black hair and green eyes.
"What a nightmare," Lucius observed, a look of horror spreading across his face. "At least Lyra and Draco are attending different schools, so they won't be braining each other with random objects."
"Happen often in the French countryside?" Severus asked with a smirk.
"Enough that I considered they might have lasting brain damage," Lucius snorted as Narcissa gasped and swatted him with her silk gloves.
They all looked up together as a certain grown-up red-headed witch was screeching from one side of the train as the orange-haired Weasley matron was doing exactly the same from the other side.
"I'm so glad I'm not a teacher," Severus said with a shudder of distaste. "I might breathe on the whole seething horde of them. Accidentally, of course. The resulting paperwork would be atrocious."
"The black-haired boy is Harry," Hermione said. "Some drunken loon of seer said some prophecy about a child born on the seventh month's death or some other such rot. But—that entire mass of children were all born on the very same day, except Harry came out last. So late that he was born the day after his siblings."
"She must have felt like one of those huge Muggle blimps," Narcissa said, wrinkling her nose. "We see them sometimes in France."
"Yes, only not floating, assuredly," Severus said. "That was a rather odd year. Mungos thought there was some kind of strange planetary alignment going on—the Longbottom boy was also born the same day. I think young Harry is probably quite grateful that he doesn't have to share his birthday with the rest of his siblings and far too many Weasleys."
"Regulus is happy that he doesn't have to worry about this for another year," Severus added. "I find that I cannot blame him."
"He happily married for love, a lovely little Muggleborn witch, in fact. I think both because Orion strongly encouraged it and because it chafed his former uncle raw," Lucius said dryly. "I cannot fault him for that. Narcissa and I were lucky. We had to pretend that we hated each other, but we were secretly very much in love."
"Did you enjoy your tea with Andromeda yesterday?" Hermione asked Narcissa.
Narcissa nodded. "She's doing really well. So much better now that our former father is enjoying Her Majesty's pleasure for life. And even if he was to be released by some strange and horrifying mistake, he would never be able to get back what he once had. He has no magic, no money, no home, and no name."
"Whatever happened to the other Black—Sirius?" Lucius said.
"Last I saw of him," Severus said with a sigh,"he apparently felt a lot of guilt for not noticing that his family had been basically drugged and subjugated by his uncle. He'd blamed them for everything from the sun setting too soon to voracious head lice. When it came out that his parents and his baby brother had been poisoned by Cygnus—he had a bit of a come-to-Merlin moment and moved to Pitcairn Island to build a group home settlement for at-risk Wizarding youth. He still lives and works there as a crisis counsellor of sorts."
"Interesting choice of places," Lucius said with a raised blond brow. "Isn't that where the Muggle sailing ship the HMS Bounty was burned and abandoned?"
"The place knows all about emotional upheaval both past and present, as I understand," Severus said, "But—much to his credit—Black has given hope to quite a few troubled youth that had no other place to go. I wouldn't trust him around my own cubs, but—I will at least admit that he has tried to turn his life around."
As the Hogwarts Express pulled away from the station, the parents waved to their children as one unidentified red-head hung out of the window and had to be pulled back in by the others.
"Gryffindor," Severus and Lucius said together.
Later that night, as Hermione and Narcissa sipped tea together surrounded by fields of French lavender, a large male Nundu went romping through the purple flowered fields with a kidnapped Lucius in tow.
"SEVERUS! PUT ME DO—NO, DO NOT DROP ME IN THE MUD—SEVERUS! SEVERRRRUUUSSS!"
"Crumpet, love?" Narcissa asked.
"Thank you, Narcissa," Hermione said with a smug smile.
"What do you think we should have for dinner tonight?" Narcissa asked.
Hermione's lips tugged as a mischievous smile crept across her face. "I'm feeling like I could eat a whole hippo."
And they loved Nundu-tastically ever after…
A/N: Dragon and the Rose's birthday was actually 8 days ago, but it took this long to get it all down. Hope you enjoyed the (*cough* short 20k is short, don't judge me) story, folks.