life on a spoosh farm:

"Ah, what a fantastic early morning romp in my futuristic Formula One themed nuclear fallout shelter!" said

Roger, as he stretched out his thin long arms for a yawn. "And my cheese nips supply is nearly depleted,

but that's okay. I can go get more, ya hear that Putin? I have cheese nips, and chances are? you don't!" he continued, as he bolted off to the grocery store and back

to his shelter in what seemed like seconds.

"Vhat is on your mind Roger?" asked Klaus, as he jumped up and down splashing in his fish bowl.

"Oh, nothing. Just shocks me. My species can apparently go from zero to one hundred and sixty

kilometers per hour. Just like a Formula One racecar. Now back to writing my Charles Leclerc

and Max Verstaffen fanfiction" he added.

Later that day, in the local Langley Catholic Church, the priest was delivering what

seemed to the congregation to be a very odd sermon:

"We must not forsake the frogs! For it is the frogs who will forsake us!

I now give to you what the good word has to say about these magnificently fine

green creatures of godliness. The LORD said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh and say to him, `This is what the LORD says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me.

If you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs. The Nile will teem with frogs.

Psalm 105: 30 Their land swarmed with frogs

Even in the chambers of their kings. Exodus 8:6 And Aaron stretched out his hand over the waters of Egypt;

and the frogs came up, and covered the land of Egypt! You see it is the FROGS who are

guiding us. The good lord works through frogs almighty, large and small, shining

green with holiness, though I remind you-it is NOT easy being green. DRINK THIS!" shouted the priest as he handed the congregation what looked

like a strange wine bottle with an X marked on it.

Meanwhile...in the Smith home...during a stormy dark morning...

"Have you seen Roger, Francine?" asked Stan.

"No, I think he's in his Formula One themed fallout shelter" replied Francine.

Roger turned on the TV. It was the local sermon being broadcast by Reverend Anthony Fibian.

"Wow, Anthony Fibian's lost it. He used to be Catholic. Now he's sounding like a combo of

Presbyterian and Mormon" said Roger. "I gotta GO! I love it!" he added, waddling his way

to church like a penguin.

Roger arrived in church. But to his surprise it wasn't a large congregation of humans-but frogs?

"Uhhh, why the frogs, Jack?" asked Roger.

"HEATHEN! Drink this" said the man.

"Ya know this is the first time I've turned down a drink in a long while. Maybe it's because

of that smug smart alecy look on your face, or the fact your entire congregation is consistent

with being frogs"

"These frogs are God's gift to the world. Do not forsake the frogs! DO NOT FORSAKE THE

FROGS" said the preacher, as he forced Roger to guzzle down the liquid. But he did not become

a frog like the others did.

"That tasted like licorice combined with peppermint. What the hell was that?

Look, things were better here when you hired Rachel Roxxx to strip in the pew,

now you won't shut up about frogs. You're losing touch with tradition" said Roger.

Later...

"So apparently, Anthony Phibian is transforming people into frogs. I don't believe anything

in the Onion but I knew this was only a matter of time" said Stan.

"Didn't you tell me once the Onion was actually a legit news program started by the CIA

to appear to be fake so the Russians won't find out what we're doing?" asked Francine.

"Um, yes. That's precisely why I need to ask Bullock what all this is about" said Stan.

Later that day...

"Family, I want you to meet my new friends from the FBI who are assigned to the Rev. Anthony Phibian Case,

meet special agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder" said Stan, opening up the door.

"I can't believe we're actually investigating this case. I think this entire thing sounds like an elaborate prank by

our 'friends' here in the CIA" said Scully.

"Preacher turns people into frogs, Scully. I had to hop around to this one" replied Mulder.

"You suppose they're putting stuff in the water to turn humans into frogs? That puts

a whole new twist on Ted O' Malley's fuckshit" said Scully.

Meanwhile:

"You SOLD the Spoosh farm?" asked Roger.

"Of course I did. To you, Roger. Cuz I'm wild about you" said Globorx, a small green puddle of goo with

four eyes who was Roger's ex gay lover.

"Oh sure that's why you dumped me for that pancake batter I left on the floor last week.

Look, you're the only one who knows how to properly send Spoosh into space so my species

has sustenance this winter and can power their cars adequately without starting global

cooling. Spoosh clay is also how my species reproduce. But now you're telling me you sold me the Spoosh farm? Oh, sure

call me dissociative. I'm never breaking up with you ever again" shouted Roger, as

he slammed the door.

"Peh. Poor Roger. He has so many personalities he doesn't even remember which one

was in love with me. Sigh" said Glorborx.

to be continued...