Auri felt his hands running through her hair. She felt his legs under hers, and she felt his wet clothing digging into her back. She remembered the pain and the confusion. She remembered him leaving her nearly paralyzed on the ground, swaddled in furs and she remembered the bard. Jaskier had smiled at her when he raised his dagger. She'd been so scared he was carving her heart out she had struggled for her life. Until Cahir pressed his arm into her mouth and asked her to bite-
'There you are,' Cahir whispered into her hair as a hand moved up and down her arm.
'You left-'
'I did. I told you I needed help. The help has left to find better help. You'll be fine-'
'It hurt so much,' she said and tried to move to look at him. She knew he was in pain too. The water was scorching hot.
'I know, Auri. I know it hurt, it will continue to hurt for some time. I'm sorry I-'
'You saved my life-' Auri said and moved her hands out of the water. He didn't hold her back this time. He let her go and only lifted a hand to steady her as she turned to him. He looked like death. His hair was tangled, matted and dirty. The circles under his eyes were so deep and dark his eyes looked even lighter than before. The weak smile he sent her when he moved a hand to wipe at her face made her realize she was crying. She remembered the screaming- the horrible fucking screaming through the feeling of the dagger slicing away at her-
'Shh, you're safe. I'm here.' he said when her hands shook. He gently moved them and placed them on his own chest, folding a hand over them. 'Listen to me, I know you're confused. I know I should have taken you with me but I was scared-'

Auri remembered the cold darkness fleeting over her as her body refused to move and the pain in her chest spread with every breath. She remembered the hulking shadow of the toothless man taunting her. She remembered the consuming feeling of panicked fear as he kept coming closer and closer with his dagger pointed at her, laughing while he-

She moved her eyes to look at his face. He stayed completely still as she made him let go of her hands and moved a finger to his cheek. He was real, he had to be real. Even her sick mind didn't have enough energy to make this up. There was no way she was still on the cold ground begging for death when the water shone so clearly on his face, there was no way-
'Is this real?' she asked and traced a finger along his jaw. Cahir tilted his head to the side and took her hand. She let him place it back on his chest and stilled as his own hand moved over her cheek. She held her breath as he moved his lips to her forehead again and kissed her. She felt his chin tremble slightly and his heart thundered against his ribs.
'Again?' she asked when he moved away from her.
'I'm pleased you remember. I'll pretend the little moan before was you in pain and not you desperately wanting to claw my very wet clothes off.' he said and arched a brow.
'I didn't moan. I was dying, you moron.'
'You're not dying now, and you still moaned a little. A small sound of utter and complete desperation for me, despite me being scum,'

Auri knew he was playing with her to keep her conscious. She felt the herbs the same as before, dulling her mind and easing her pain. It felt like a heavy woolen blanket was forced through her brain and wrapped around her every thought. Her head grew heavy and she did little else but to lean back again and silently beg for him to stay with her for a little while longer.
'You're not scum, Cahir,' she said and meant it. 'You did fuck me over but you paid for it,' she said.
'You're still going to kill me I hope? I've been looking forward to the fight, hellbeast.'
'Hellbeast?' she questioned and stifled a chuckle. She'd had worse. Bitch. Cunt. Abomination. Witch.

'You should see your eyes when you're angry. It does very much look like you've come straight from hell. Sent here to torment me, threaten to kill me, burn me when I'm trying to help you and bite my arm off.' he said and moved a wet lock of her hair away from her eyes.
'I didn't bite your arm off. I bit the leather. I still have the taste in my mouth!'

Cahir laughed from behind her. The sound came from deep within him and he moved his arms from around her to unfasten the straps keeping his left bracer on. She gaped at his skin when he rolled up his shirt. She'd bitten through it, through the leather and the shirt. His arm was riddled with angry red marks.
'Does it hurt?' she asked and immediately regretted it. Of course it fucking hurt.
'Not as much as the water.' he said and shook the sleeve back down.
'Get out then?' she said and placed her hands on the slippery bottom to move away from him.
'No. I was told to stay here until the bard came back. And by the look of you, you'll be asleep soon, if you are to eventually kill me I wouldn't want you to drown in a shallow stream. It entirely ruins the mystery of my promised demise.'

Auri didn't protest, and she didn't panic when the woolen blanket dulled the rest of her thoughts and dragged her off to a somewhat restful sleep.

She awoke to warm hands on her chest. Different hands. Auri opened her eyes and found Triss' familiar and worried face staring down at her.
'Lay still, darling.' she said and pushed her warm hands harder down onto her chest. 'You know what this is. You know it takes time,'

The pain exploded through her as the heat from Triss' hands engulfed her. Auri instinctively flicked her wrist to let the fire burn, to let it out before it-
'No fire.' Cahir's voice spoke from behind her head as he reached for her hand curled her fingers back into her palm. 'You need your strength for the healing, not the burning.' he said and let her arm go.

Auri clenched her jaw and grabbed a hold of the furs, fisting her hands in them and trying to listen to Triss telling her to be still. Everything in her told her to flee, every bone in her body ached for her to run and get away from the pain.
'This isn't going to work. You need to hold her legs.' Triss' voice echoed through her head

Weight was placed on her legs and Cahir's hands moved to her thighs, forcing her legs to be still. She looked down at him, sitting across her legs, shaking as he tried to keep her still.
'Please listen to her, she has to do this. It's the only way,' Cahir pleaded and the pained look in his eyes made her squirm.

She let the darkness come yet again and waited for the now familiar, pain-free nothingness at the edge of her vision. Anything was better than this. Anything was better than the pain, she'd take the toothless fucker over this any day. The feeling of her skin burning away and warping beneath Triss' touch made her want to scream until her throat bled. Everything in her told her to fight-

Auri came to herself in the water again. She expected his hands to be there still, but she was alone. She missed the way his hands cooled her skin, she missed the way his chest rose and fell-

'Keep her warm, give her herbs should she need them.' Triss' voice was serious. Auri turned toward the sound but couldn't see anything. They spoke from somewhere outside. She heard Cahir mumble something and Triss grunted a sound of approval.
'If she doesn't get through this on her own there is nothing more I can do, I have tried everything. There is nothing else-'
'Thank you, Triss.' Cahir's voice was low but she still heard him. 'I owe you everything.'

Auri's head still swam so she leaned back against the edge of the stream and folded her hands in her lap. She felt the tightness around her chest and refused to look at it. She smelled no alcohol. She was glad of it. If she had to smell more vodka-soaked linen she'd puke.

They had wrapped her up. The linen strips were crossed at her neck several times. She moved a hand to the fabric and followed the herb-infused cloth around her chest and over both her shoulders. Six times. All of this to keep her from picking at it-
'You're not supposed to do that,' Cahir said and sighed.
'I'm not picking. I'm trying to figure out how many of your shirts she used.' she said and met his eyes.
'I used all of mine days ago, she brought proper bandages this time. You can take them off in a week. Until then you're meant to stay warm and rest.'

He extended a hand over her shoulder and gave her a piece of dried meat and a small loaf of bread.
'You're also meant to eat.'

'I'll eat if you do. You look like death.' she said and handed him the bread. He looked worse than ever. She'd seen him sleep some, but obviously not enough. He struggled to keep his eyes open if he stopped blinking. He took the bread and waited for her to start on the meat before he sat down on the edge of the stream and ate.

Auri found herself content with knowing that the meat came from the deer and not rats. The stew at the inn still haunted her. She ate in silence, and Cahir's eyes never moved from the bread. She should say something, anything. He had saved her life, been with her and taken care of her for gods knew how long. He was always there when she woke and he was still there when she closed her eyes, either holding her or dragging a hand through her hair.
'No stream today?' she asked tentatively and paid attention to his face. He looked angry. It unnerved her.

'No stream. I haven't quite healed from the last time and since you're able to form complete sentences now I don't think you're in any danger of drowning.'

Auri swallowed the meat and rose from the stream. He followed her with his eyes and his shoulders dropped an inkling when she wrapped herself in her cloak, grabbed her boots and sat down on the bedroll.
'Thank you.' she said and turned over on her side, trying to keep most of the weight off her chest. She had no idea what she'd done to make him angry, she hadn't been herself for awhile. She could have done anything. Said anything. She didn't breathe when the furs behind her moved. She did nothing as his hand curled around her and flipped her gently over on her back.
'Why do you do this?' he asked, trying to find the eyes she desperately kept away from his face.
'Do what?'
'Distance yourself. I know you heard me speaking. Does it scare you?' he asked and placed a hand on her cheek.
'Scare me?' she asked and sat up. 'What do you mean?'
'I know you feel something. You've been sleeping on my chest for a week, clinging to me for dear life in the stream- Begging me to take the pain away-'
'Yes it scares me,' Auri admitted and moved her eyes from him. She remembered only bits and pieces here and there. She remembered his lips on her forehead and his hands running through her hair. Naked. He didn't touch her. She had asked. She remembered shaking with pain and the only thing that calmed her was him, listening to his breathing and feeling his hands on her. 'I don't like to be dependent. I have always been alone, I-'
'You're not alone anymore, and I think being dependent beats being dead?'
'It does, I just-'
'-wish it wasn't me?' Cahir finished for her.
Auri saw his face fall, she saw the regret so clearly in his eyes it sent a pang of agony through her chest.
'No, I'm glad it's you. That's what scares me.'